STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DEALING WITH A JEALOUS PROBLEMATIC OLDER SIBLING.......
Stella please ;
Stella please ;
put me on anonymous mode, good afternoon and forgive my typo errors just need some candid advice because this one don pass me,if you want to abuse your wasting your time, because i dont have time to reply.
Here goes my story i come from a family of five,two boys and am the only girl along with my parents(father and mother) it all started when my elder brother started beating me in secondary school for talking to his friends, or touching any of his things
mind you we are from the same father and mother and since then i have kept my distance from him and his friends,i grew up by the mercy of God went to school and became a lawyer and am working ..
my eldest became a civil engineer and wont let me have rest in my fathers house,accepted my elder brother helped me gain scholarship while i was in school, which i used the money to buy land after compensating him for helping me, but it seems all i get from him is bitterness and envy, he cant beat me again but this time he is using my younger brother who i was very close to, to fight me over not allowing him to marry the girl he wanted to marry,
mind you the girl he wants to marry comes from a gossiping family, i told my younger brother to stay away from my elder one or he will be ruined for life, my elder brother gave my younger brother a job in his girlfriend mother NGO, and since then it has been insults on my younger brother, i texted the girlfriend and my elder brother to leave my younger brother alone let him face the job and work...
Later on my younger brother wad sacked from the job and i was blamed, the marriage did not hold and i was blamed by my elder and younger brother respectively.
My younger brother later got a job in a bank and asked me to move out of his apartment, i moved out and rented my own,mind you i and my younger brother had been living peacefully but anytime my elder brother comes to town he will make sure my younger brother starts giving me trouble.
The day i moved out of my younger brother place was the day i was also sacked from work. I refused to cry got another job within a month, got myself a new apartment and after two months of my brothers ish i got engaged to a heaven sent man.
The main story goes as follows; my brothers are not in the know that am engaged and about getting married to a man that can change all our fortunes including theirs, recently i went home to see my parents and my elder brother started causing trouble threatening to beat my father again and in saying the reason he didn't get married and my younger brother lost his job, mind you my eldest brother is what i will call problematic,and a dumb bully..
he shows off at any given opportunity and is very covetous. I left my parents and came back to my apartment, neither of my brothers talk to me after reaching out to them severally, my wedding is coming up and am having a double mind inviting them or introducing them to my in laws, my elder brother in plain words is all out to make sure he disgraces me over nothing, my little accomplishments pain him to the marrow and most times i ask where did i go wrong, am scared for the life of my father in particular....
Stella my father is a good man and has tried to send me to school even with his meagre pension, i don't know what to do to protect the life of my father, because my dad is old and hypertensive, my elder brothers plan is to cause trouble that will lead my father to his early grave so he can start selling properties to show off and kick my aged mother out of her husband house,while silencing my younger brother and making sure he deals with me if am still living in my father house....
Stella i really don't know what to do without hurting anybody, i dont even have interest in my father property or money. The education and good prayers i get from him is worth more than riches...
Stella and fellow bvs i need your candid advise,the guy am tying the knot with does not know and must not know what is going on in my father house, my kinsmen will say its not only stealing that brings shame to an individual,please help me come out of this my shame...eagerly waiting for your response.
The whole explanation is so messed up....All i can say is that whether you tell your hubby or not,he will find out about all this drama later,I don't know what his reaction will be but i think you should tell hm you are not inviting your family becos they are too dramatic...
PLEASE DO NOT INVITE YOUR BROTHERS TO YOUR WEDDING!
And hey,you had no right calling your brother's girlfriend to leave your bro alone
Poster. Follow Stella's advice. This one pass me. Do a very quiet wedding
ReplyDeleteI stopped reading at the 3rd Paragraph, I don't like people who always see themselves as the perfect one and fault others. I always stay away from them.
DeleteWhatever it is: you can't say ure clean and everyone is wrong. Wishing you all the best πππΆπΎ♀️πΆπΎ♀️πΆπΎ♀️πΆπΎ♀️πΆπΎ♀️
And I forgot to mention, how do you go to court to defend your clients with the way you write. Mehn, are you a Barrister ππ? Leave all these family trouble, concentrate and develop more on your writing please ππ.
DeletePoster has a paranoid plus Tacha like personality.
DeleteYou poster is an ungrateful fellow.
Your brother got you a scholarship that was juicy enough for you to use tge proceeds to buy land.
Inukwam gossiping family.
Your brother has every right to beef you.
So you used your scrawny fingers to text the child of your younger brother's benefactor/ employer.
Only God know the details.
You re evil.
If you fiancee has sense he needs to drop you like a bad had habit.
Nonesense and big brother.
Shut it.
Delete"if you want to abuse your wasting your time, because i dont have time to reply." this statement alone shows you're a troublemaker.
DeleteHanty, you're family needs divine intervention.
Poster, your family is more disfunctional than the others you are complaining about. Your family is a wrecked train.
DeletePoster u too are a troublesome lady. Why did u stop ur bro from marrying who he wants?? I don’t blame him if he ruins ur own plans. U seem to want to be in control of everyone and everything. Leave them and face ur front.
DeleteAnd don't go into details of why you are at loggerheads with your brothers to your fiance. Reason being, he will use it to u anytime you guys have ish in the future.
ReplyDeleteI expected to read a better script from "a lawyer".
ReplyDeleteYou see others as the problem and not yourself. You made sure your elder brother's girlfriend dumped him and you do not see that as a problem?
That was wrong and you were wrong.
To come to equity with clean hands,
apologize to him while you face your own matrimony preparations.
this seed of bitterness among your brothers/you has got to be uprooted not
merely through dialogue but calling on God to intervene. It seems to have assumed a diabolic dimension.
Be watchful and prayerful.
She only knows if her brother found out about her man they will speak who she is really. She is scared.
DeleteThank u. I think she likes being in control. Seems like a narcissist. Her way or no way
DeleteI'm just gonna say this.. Never hold on to a toxic relationship even if it's family. Cut their asses off and take care of your Dad and Mom.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your Hubby to be about it all, it is much easier to cut them off with him in the know.
Wow.....what kind of family is this?
ReplyDeleteThere’s nothing like love in your family, how do you people live like this?
Honestly I don’t even know what to say.
What I know is that any kid that raises his/her hand on their parents, is a useless child and will never be successful in life.
If you insult and disrespect your parents, you have already beaten them.
I feel for you poster, cos in the end, you will get burned too.
Your elder brother will do everything to make sure your marriage to that man does not pull through.
What man would even want to marry into such a family? This is terrible!!!
Only a useless/lazy child waits to inherit his fathers properties.
Keep praying for your parents and if any of them dares to fight your parents, you know what to do.
Please tell your husband to be that your brothers are not good people and that you don’t want him near them.
If your parents can secretly marry you out without your brothers knowledge, it would be great. Your brothers don’t mean well for you. Don’t give them the opportunity to tear you down.
May God protect your parents and arrest those demonized brothers of yours.
The day they were born, I am sure there was huge celebration.
Reading this, i deduce that you are actually a trouble maker. You are the one not minding your business. Abeg who gave you a law degree? Where you steal am?
ReplyDeleteYou did not do well o poster. If two or three people are complaining about you, please do self-evaluation. Your eldest brother may be a little bit harsh. That is how most first child know how to be protective of their younger ones. Although, I will fault him for laying hands on you. But, this is the same man that got you a contract and got your younger brother an NGO job. Your eldest brother is a good man.
ReplyDeleteYou broke your brother's relationship and then meanders into your younger bro work-relationship. How won't they gang up against you? You have to take on the blame, apologize to them and move on.
Blood is thicker than water. You can't do your wedding ceremony without inviting them. Family is very important in life. The God-sent man you want to marry can't love you more than your family members.
Put everything in prayers, meet up with them, apologize and after your wedding, you may decide to give them the space you want. May God soften their hearts towards you.
Did you read the post at all? With this your rubbish write up and advice. Go back and read it well, then come back to comment
DeleteYou de mind the imp
DeleteWhat a counsel full of wisdom. I like your own
DeleteYou really are prudent dear Tabitha.
DeletePoster, swallow this advice like bitter life saving pill. It will help you.
Love the 2nd sentence of your 3rd paragraph.
DeleteA lawyer writes like this? Wow! Ronald where are you. This is a disappointment. Lawyers, I thought, you have a strong grasp of written English. Wow.
ReplyDeleteAt least you understood what she said..in your next life come as a dictionary..i too know
DeleteJust shut up@what else bitch. I have been noticing your comments on chronicles, are you naturally a bastard or na follow come? You pick and choose which chronicle you feel is right or wrong just be unbiased. Idiot.
DeleteYou see someone who doesn't like your guts and you're forming love and care and getting involved in his relationship? You courted trouble yourself. Anyway, that's gone. Moving on, don't tell your guy anything about this. Even if he finds out, don't say bad things about anyone in your family BUT don't give them access to him so they don't tell him nonsense. To marry, you only need your parents consent and obviously you got that. Marry without their knowledge and get out of their way. Provide security for your dad if you can and ensure he visits the doctors regularly for check ups. You are a lawyer, your dad should have a will. if not, get a lawyer for him who would advise him to write a will to avoid stories.
ReplyDeleteA lawyer writes like this? Wow! Ronald where are you. This is a disappointment. Lawyers, I thought, you have a strong grasp of written English. Wow.
ReplyDeletePoster i know how u feel i was in the same place as you elder brother so jealous to the bone including younger Sister and brother when i had enough i washed My hands off Them now AM living ok they dont Even know My husband and son God blessed me with a very good man and financially well off and I opened up to him n he knows everything he just tells me to be carefull with Them. God will see u thru just find a way to protect your parents. Atleast you have good parents mine are equally jealous and diabolic
ReplyDeleteThank God you typed this, I advise the poster to observe her mother in all of this. The truth of what is happening is in your family especially your mum.
DeleteTell him about your family especially your brothers. Tell him you wouldn't want to invite them to the wedding a d he should respect that. The earlier you mention to him, the better for you.
ReplyDeleteAlso do not make the mistake of telling them about his wealth if not they will first of all become friends with you a d then look for ways to start exploiting you people.
People that will bash you are obviously those that don't know what it means to have toxic siblings.
Dem no dey carry person for back go heaven abeg. Anything or anybody that will destroy your peace, please discard them like sanitary pads.
You are evil. You texted the girlfriend of your brother (an ADULT) to stay clear. As what? Patience Ozokwor character in the making. Yet you don't see anything wrong you've done. Why shouldn't you be blamed for the marriage plans failing? Or for your brother losing his job? The girl "comes from a gossipping family"; that's her crime. But you who have sent chronicle, hoping to get validation for your witchcraft behaviour, you're not a gossip.
ReplyDeleteYou, poster, are the problem. You seem to think peace is when everyone is bowing or blind to your manipulative ways. You sound EXACTLY like my younger brother.
I pity the unfortunate man who thinks he has found a wife in you; see how you're describing him. Man that can change all your fortunes. Not man that you love. I hope he sees through you and comes to his senses before he signs on the dotted lines; even if it's on the morning of the wedding. You're bringing nothing to the table of his life except drama. And even that, you want to hide till you enter. Clout-chasing, manipulative, lying user is what you are. Determined to hurt everyone, yet claiming victim. Go and work on yourself, please. Horrible lawyer girl with bad grammar and wicked attitude.
Thank you! Very manipulative somebody. Every silly person now send chronicles
DeleteAyayayayi!!! are you the brother to the poster. Ask God to make you a dictionary or encyclopaedia in your next life.. bitter soul
DeleteWEB, with a moniker like yours, you have to be deranged.
DeleteFortunately for the poster, we're not related. Or else na family meeting with her so-called fiance for get us this evening. I've seen her type before - greedy, entitled child. She took legitimate food out of the mouth of her brother that was minding his business, but she is the one forming painment. Thank God she hasn't accused him of doing yahoo.
Poster, when you were typing that text message, be honest what were you hoping for? Is it that you have demons in your head where others have brains so it really didn't cross your mind that it will affect your brother? Only you scatter pesin personal life, scatter the professional life join. But you're the angel that loves your parents. Shior! The real reason you don't want your brothers to meet the man you're marrying for his money is so he won't know what you really are. I'm sure when you were born, your parents rejoiced and called you a child.
God will increase your wisdom and uplift you in every way.
DeleteThe poster is a manipulative girl with a dark soul. She sees no problem in her interference in her ELDER brother's relationship leading to get younger brother looking his job.
May God send such woman very far away from us. Advising this kind of character is an absolute waste of time her toxicity level is alarming
@15:38 very stinky attitude. It smells from here. Such people manipulate men into marrying them and eventually blow open in the house. The man will now be saying "my wife had changed".
DeleteSide note: Some of you men make me laugh!! When you see women praying for husbands you laugh at us. Some of you need to pray for wives too cos that's the reason many men dont have peace at home and are on the streets on cheating sprees. You marry women who pretend and become something else at home within months. Manipulative pretentious womena are everywhere making fools out of alot of men. No jokes!
You must be a petty somebody. Why called your brother's girlfriend, your business with her or with your brother relationship..
ReplyDeleteThe girl come from a gossiping family, who made you a judge over other people's affairs.?
You messed up your brother's relationship now you're afraid he's going to do same to you.
Let me tell you the truth, you're a dramatic person too, not any better.
You're shielding your relationship from your family but you were into other's affair, trying to determined who your brother get married to.
Go and change your way, probably you're the type that brags about your achievements when you're talking to your family.
Dont mind her
DeleteDon't mind her. She's afraid her brother will scatter her affair as she did to his own. First to do no dey pain, na response dey cause cry.
Deletejust because you drink loya milk doesn't make you a lawyer
ReplyDeletePoster please don't invite them to your wedding, don't let them ruin your day because I see that happening if they attend, once your parents are there, that's fine. After all its their blessings you need. Stay away from toxic family, so you can be happy
ReplyDeleteSo it was Okay for her to ruined her own brother's relationship? That's how you guys dish out what you can't take.
DeleteOh please!!! ✋π½That's how many people complain that their family is toxic and they carry their toxicity all over the place like a wet raincoat. If you check this poster's work place she has issues with colleagues too. Maybe that's even why she got sacked. Girl, fix your attitude and your relationship with your family!!
DeleteNa so una dey carry man for head. "My husband can change their life.... yen yen yen" Man that can change tommorow and leave you hanging for your family. Dont let life shock you, my dear cos it really can.
Poster you are the only girl in your family and your brothers are bully you, babe there is something fishy that you didn't explain to us. You spoiled your brother's wedding and expect them to celebrate with you now that he lost his own gf.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you have to look for that your brother's gf and apologies to her, you have no right to call her and warn her about your brother. Maybe you insulted her badly reason she broke up with your brother. Make peace with her and see if you can reconnect them back.
Second, you need to apologize to your brothers over everything, I think your dad loves you more and he treated you special than others that is why your brothers are mad with you, why do I have the feeling you rub it on their faces why growing up.make peace with your brothers, nothing like family. Forgive them all and accept your mistake, do not show them levels but be humble and put your family together. Tomorrow if you have issues with your man they will be important.
Third one you need to talk to your bf about your family, do not tell him everything but tell him something about your brothers. Make sure you twill him the truth, so that tomorrow no one will give him gist and oga will be mad with you.
Lastly, you need to fix your parents in a better and more secure place, you are a lawyer so seek for better ways to keep your brothers far . Do not let your brothers kill your parents.
You said your man can change your family totally, let him give your brothers good jone that way the envy and anger can reduce.
Everything Stella said.
ReplyDeletePoster, you are not a lawyer! A junior high school student would not even write this incoherently. Please you need to go back to school for your own good.
ReplyDeleteYou and your elder brother are the same except that you have not laid hands on your father.
Why would a brother beat up his only sister? You and your siblings were not raised with love besides, you are meddlesome. How could you text your younger brother's employer just because she's your elder brother's girlfriend? That's unethical.
Your story is incoherent because you left out details that did not favour you while highlighting your elder brother's weaknesses.
Please, seek God in prayers, ask your brothers for forgiveness. Get someone who you elder brother respects to advise him to apologise to your father and buy him a gift to honour him.
Do not tell your fiance this your disjointed story and expose your family shame.
After now you will carry this your bad nosey attitude to a man’s house. Chai....umu nwoke afugo ifeπ
ReplyDeleteShe's a braggart.
DeleteShe's the perfect person while everyone around her a evil and bully.
She has hurt her brother with her actions and words.
Her brother is not mad, she's the one setting him up against their father.
Manipulative human being. .
You seem to have issues too cos your Chronicle in itself, is very combative.
ReplyDeleteSome of these attitudes are genetic and it seems you guys need to go for counselling, as a family. You need to deal with deep seated issues. We take counselling for granted in Nigeria but alot of organizations offer this. Use your money to bring peace to your family. I can fault a lot from your write-up. E.g. what's your business with his girlfriend? If you dont like a mess dont make it. What's the information about land for, please?
I also sense some pride cos you are marrying someone you consider rich, by your standards. Better calm down! It doesn't suddenly make you the house angel everyone must bow down to - regardless of what existing issues there may be. You may never be poor but your siblings can still pass you tommorow cos this God is merciful to all.
I blame your parents too..why allow a child you birth intimidate you with drama? I trust my father, he will lock you up in kirikiri for days. Naija police dont take rubbish from badly behaved children who insult their parents. All I see here is faulty parenting but it's never too late for you guys to live differently. All of you should call a meeting and squash things out. When you see angry first borns its because they've gone through alot they really cant put in words. Alot of parents make parenting mistakes with their first borns that they manage better in younger children.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Madam lawyer I am trying to grab what you wrote up there but the English is pathetic to say the least. My candid advice to u is this, tell your man about your brother and his kind of person. So he will be aware to avoid another Chronicle. Maybe this time it will be "he dumped me at the altar". Open up to him concerning your family, atleast it will save us the reader this wonderful English u used there. Thank me later
ReplyDeleteYou did a wrong wrong and wrong thing texting your senior Brother’s Girlfriend. What’s your business with that? You Senior Brother to me is not as bad as you’ve painted him because he even helped you and your Brother get a job. I believe you ruined his relationship and caused the sack because the Girl would have thought twice about marrying into a family that a sibling is bad mouthing another sibling so I don’t blame her. So please just stay in your lane and leave them alone but I believe karma is coming for you! Evil and too know Sister!
ReplyDeleteThis story ain't complete,the poster should stop being vague,come out with the full story,there is something the poster is hiding.
ReplyDeleteThank you. She's hiding too much.
DeleteMadam go and plead with your brothers ex girlfriend and be the instrument of their peace and making up.
ReplyDeleteYou ruined his happiness and his own fortune. if you love your brother what makes him happy will make you happy.
Brothers never like by their sisters around their friends so no be today!
You got your younger brother sacked, for that to happen means you really messed up and not just by sending one message, it was more than that.
The truth is... Karma has come knocking but if you are prayerful and humble your wedding will hold and there will be peace.
Do you realize that your elder brothers fiancee was also someone that would have 'changed his fortune' and that of your entire family? Even getting your younger brother that you love a job at the NGO did not even please you.
You made a whole marriage not to work out because of your hate and ENVY!
Fix your brothers relationship as much as you can then watch God turn all your fortunes around.
God is the only one that brings helpers our ways, this helpers may be brothers, sisters in law, cousins, husband's etc.
Search yourself!
What a mixup, good lord. I am honestly quite confused about what is happening. Are you sure that you are not a meddling type of person, because it seems like your older brother hates you for some unknown reason.
ReplyDeleteMarry quietly without inviting them, after all once you marry you start a new family. Sometimes you have to give people what they want, and if someone does not want you to be a part of their life accept it and move on. I think your fear is that since they hold you in contempt for destroying their attempt at love they will destroy yours, and that is why I asked if you are not a meddler. So marry quietly at your man's ppl place and invite just your parents. Leave ppl's business alone and mind your own.
Oh dear!! Barrister abi lawyer, work on your English OK. I think it was wrong of you to text your elder brothers girlfriend and you cost your younger brother his job, of course that will generate hatred especially if he doesn't meet someone better and also if your younger brother hadn't gotten a better job too. How will you feel if they wreck your own relationship?? That's what you did to them. Now come down from your high horse my dear. You need to genuinely make peace with your brothers OK? After making peace observe if they are on the same page with you OK? For posterity sake, make peace, you will need those brothers of yours tomorrow, getting married without carrying them along will worsen things for you. If you need to fast, do it so that you will achieve peace. Don't let this escalate to a diabolical level cause that's where it might end if you don't fix it OK. May God guide your thoughts in Jesus name. Work on your character too. Best wishes dear.
ReplyDeleteOh dear!! Barrister abi lawyer, work on your English OK. I think it was wrong of you to text your elder brothers girlfriend and you cost your younger brother his job, of course that will generate hatred especially if he doesn't meet someone better and also if your younger brother hadn't gotten a better job too. How will you feel if they wreck your own relationship?? That's what you did to them. Now come down from your high horse my dear. You need to genuinely make peace with your brothers OK? After making peace observe if they are on the same page with you OK? For posterity sake, make peace, you will need those brothers of yours tomorrow, getting married without carrying them along will worsen things for you. If you need to fast, do it so that you will achieve peace. Don't let this escalate to a diabolical level cause that's where it might end if you don't fix it OK. May God guide your thoughts in Jesus name. Work on your character too. Best wishes dear.
ReplyDeleteYou are preventing him from marrying the person he wants to marry because she is from a 'gossiping family' but you want marry in peace?
ReplyDeleteSo what if someone advises your man to avoid you because you come from a toxic and envious family? How will you feel?
You will argue that you are not like the rest of them abi?
Lol.
You nailed it! Madam meddler afraid someone will stop her show from going on. People do not realize how powerful minding your business can be in this life.
Delete1000000 likes
DeletePoster, the way your narrative is written, I agree with other BVs, you sound like you are actually a problem yourself and you left out many details.
ReplyDeleteI pray your fiance knows what he's getting into too because he will inherit your problems if he becomes your spouse. God safe him