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BEGGY BEGGY MOTHER IN LAW

I just broke up with my fiancé, with our wedding date in view.


I met him 3 years ago. We got attracted to each other and we started off as friends. Right from time when we were friends, I made him to know that I want my man to be responsible and that his parents should not have this entitlement opinions most Naija parents have since my parents are working and they are supportive. We give them but they don't stress us at all. I know the effect of parental interference on a new marriage. I told him what I will and not take in a relationship before we took off as a couple. I was honest with him but he wasn't.


He told me that his mum owns a big shop while his dad works in an office. He stalled before taking me to his parents house, I was disappointed because how he painted them was not what I saw. After many months of preventing me from going to his mum's shop, I later got there to know she was a petty trader with scanty goods. He deceived me. He apologized cos he said if I knew about all from start, I wouldn't have agreed to date him.


My guy has been good to me, he is gentle, accommodating and an opposite of me in terms of temperament. I get angry a lot and say lots of bad things in the heat of anger but this guy accommodatstilly excess. We love each other but the issue now is his mum, and people. People use his weakness against him.


His mum doesn't give me a good reception anytime I visit them but I did not mind. Last year, she called me and begged me to give her 20k. Well, I thought she wanted to use it to offset one of her son's hospital bills. She begged me not to tell my guy but I later did after some months. Another reason why I gave her that cash was that his son(my guy) gave me huge amounts the previous month to add start up my business. I later told my guy and he flared up and confronted his mum cos according to him, he gives her money. I told him because I don't want her to repeat that incidence. After the confrontation, she carried face for me and I restricted my movement in their house.


Later, I noticed some changes in him. Someone that normally gives me 10k for Tfare if i want to visit him reduced it till it got to 1k. Later it stopped and he kept on reminding me how I also work. He started coming up with excuses of house rent that will not due in 11 months. I never thought it as a big deal until I have to fight before he buys something in the house. He no longer do dstv subscriptions ( he did full package in the past) I later snopped and got to know that his mum bill him and that is affecting the little thing he ought to do to the house. He works and have side businesses.


When he rented the apartment and furnished it, I gave him 50k to assist in furnishing the kitchen. I told him that the kitchen is small and tight but he said his mum said the kitchen is okay and that why do we need a big kitchen. I kept quiet. I don't reside in their base but the kitchen stuff he got wasn't what we discussed and what I wanted. I complained about it and dropped the issue because he went to the market with his mum to buy substandard things.


I had to stand on my feet before he dropped the amount he dropped for our small introduction. He first insisted that I buy my clothes myself. But I stood my fought him before he did normal. The groom is supposed to cater for his bride's clothings. I see how my elder ones did theirs. If it were to be before, he would gladly do all those things without complaints. I got to know that he is giving his mum 80% of his business proceeds. I saw where his elder brother told him that he can't choose a woman over their mother.


Three days ago, I called his mum and sent 5k to her (so that it won't look as if I am the one not making his son to see look at her side again). She told her son, and she called to thank me and prayed for me for two days. Could you believe that my mil called me today again to ask for another 20k. I was closed to tears but I told her that I don't have. I told her son about it and he put a call through to her and begged me not to be angry cos the mum do embarrass them about with the way she takes loan and beg for money about. The mum begged him not to inform their dad and she promised not to do that again. But she also promised the last time but repeated it again.


He later confessed that she has been the one taking all his money and that that is why he has been broke. He said he alwus try to balance things up but I see no balancing. I was angry cos I rem how I do have to nag before he do things of 1k to the house. It is like his mum doesn't want him to get married, and all her children are boys. I don't know what they discussed but she called me back twice. When I called her back, she lied that she has seen the amount she asked me from her friends, and told me not to worry again. My guy has been apologizing to me and I am still pissed cos this guy owes me 30k from the business he is managing for me yet he has money to be giving out to our own inconvenience.


I told him to go and marry his mum if he can't have his stand to know who should be his priority. If I marry him and we want to give birth, I'm sure he will give the money to his mum rather than using it to offset our hospital bills. That is the way the situation is at the moment. I told him to pay off and we should go our separate ways. Our wedding is fast approaching yet we haven't bought anything but his mum has been collecting thousands from him. 

He is a bv and i'm sure he will see this. I have plans to inform my parents about this issue tomorrow and to cancel the wedding. He has called and begged not to tell my people cos according to him what his mum did was a shameful act.


I am a woman but none of my parents have once called him to ask him for money. He also made mention of this when he was apologizing. We don't do this in our house and I don't want to face all these in my marriage. He knows my values. The painful thing is that he is also suffering in silence. His elder brother relocated to a far place to avoid all these drama. He said he knows that people will advice me to leave him but at this juncture, I am fed up.

*Sigh*..... what a pity but is calling off the wedding the best thing you can do?