Hmmmmmm.......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ANSWERS NEEDED BEFORE WALK OUT AND CLOSURE
We have 2 tenants/flatmates it's a 5bedroom house he inherited and we really needed the money it's not the first time of getting flatmates I noticed awkward moments when ever we speak like she might try to enter his study and he will hang up abruptly ...they went on holiday outside London(I got to find out cus my son got lost at the beach) he told me my son was there all the time and it was nothing that she's just friendly and my son likes her alot he told me about the holiday to the countryside during the bank break but he never told me he went with her.
He says I'm imagining things and nothing is going on he knows his boundaries bla bla I know I'm not crazy cus he is trying to make me out to be always digging for fights and childish.
I'm just tired I never knew he was this type of person.
I've made up my mind to leave I just need to plan and strategize.
I really want to pry into a man's mind guys in the house explain to me how and why you tell funny lies to cover up cheating, why you cheat and how I can handle the situation before I'm able to leave.
*Someone is about to inherit your hubby same way he inherited the house...Isn't your Marriage worth fighting for?why give up like that?Do something about the situation,find out why he is spending time with her and find out if you are doing something to encourage his behaviour....And please don't nag....be sweet and it will be easier for you to do the BODMAS on this....
Aunty you live in London i.e nor be sufferhead naija surrounded by meddling in-laws so why do you want to walk out when no DV involved?
ReplyDeleteYou guys own a house now so remain there. I see no reason for you to walk out. Anything you were shouldering as house finances dump it all for him let me see where he will get the extra money to cheat.
Why did you keep saying My Son? Is he not your Hubby's child too?
Why were you too busy that you couldn't follow them to the beach holiday?
Bianca, you self esteem must be sooo low eh! So because she lives in London and they own a house so she has to remain in the marriage? You didn’t give any tangible reason why she shouldn’t take a walk
DeleteThis is the foundation of the problem; my husband and I are LONG DISTANCE. Fix that, you will have to choose between whatever is keeping you apart and your marriage...
DeleteDo as your instinct directs
DeletePs: when a man says this “He says I'm imagining things ..” believe your imagination and ignore whatever his explanation is
Yes! Yes! Yes! Stella you got it! Don’t nag be sweet does the magic
ReplyDeleteSome men can be very cunning, they will make you think you are mad. When you question them, they can make you sound foolish.
DeleteMy dear whatever instincts you have, believe it. Never blame yourself for anything they do o, just do what makes you happy.
phrases like "I never knew he could do this/that" makes me laugh, you never catch ya own no mean say guy man no dey gbensh...forgerrit! 1% of the good ones, I hail o.😁😁
ReplyDeleteThank you Stella, my dear poster please follow Stella's red pen.
ReplyDeleteAdultery is inexcusable, evil and an effrontery toward God who instituted marriage.
ReplyDeleteBut same God made marriage for companionship; didn't he? "it is not good for man to be alone..."
So when (due to selfish/self centered agenda) the couple decided to be in
a "long distance marriage", isn't it
a leeway given to the enemy of God and mankind to accentuate/actualize his destructive agenda for all marriages through the works of the flesh;
LUST in this case?
Marriage is all about Love and love is all about sacrifice. It takes mutual aggreement for one of the spouses to leave (e.g. employment etc. in) his/her city to be with the other.
These sort of agreement has to be reached at the point of courtship (which pitiably is stifled due to
the cravings and explorations of sex
at the wrong time). In meaningful engagement/courtship, these are the issues to be addressed for two do not walk together except they agree.
Now, a beautiful union has been messed up by mistrust and you want to walk away; quite sad!
There isn't anything to strategize. It is still self-seeking when you try to do so. You either repair what is damaged or you walk away. The choice is exclusively yours just like the choice to marry this man was yours.
Yarns finished!
Hope my "yarns" will help you find peace in your stressed soul.
Indiscipline and greed for strange flesh
DeleteExactly. not to excuse his behavior, but the whole set up is a scenario for cheating.
DeleteLong distance marriage is very difficult...wifey is not around
Plus he has a young woman as flatmate..as in same house
And if it is a girl who sees nothing wrong in flirting or sleeping with him
How many men will survive such temptation..
We are told to FLEE such temptations. not to battle with it and see how strong we are..
For the unmarried, listen. Long distance marriage is about sacrifice o. Don't enter into it without all the necessary conversations and agreements. THat is what courtship is for.
Thank you NiB.
DeleteYou have a nonchalant attitude towards your marriage, probably you don't love your husband or you both don't even love each other.
ReplyDeleteLove is a scam. My advice to ladies is to marry, get one or two children by God's grace and focus on your children. Poster take a deep breath and remain in the marriage for the sake of your children. It will definitely end in praise
DeleteRemain perpetually unhappy with a cheating husband because of her kids? You lot are crazy. You come to this world once, you should enjoy it.
DeleteYou have a job, hence I don’t understand why you should remain in a miserable marriage.
Princess, people will assume you wise when you are silent instead of this 👆
DeleteThank you Sucre; Whiteberry aka Blessed Princess irritates the hell out of me.
DeleteHe is defo cheating.
ReplyDeleteIs that a solution?
DeleteShe should find out what's she's doing wrong?
ReplyDeleteLike men need a valid excuse to blatantly cheat on their wife.
Sigh Stella. Smh 🤦♂️
Poster your man is gaslightning you, it's actually a thing!
Mind games making you feel stupid while he actually cheats and guilt trips you.
I know most of the opinion here would tell you to stay and fight but what do you people actually fight for?
How many times you going to fight?
Gosh
I love this comment a million times and had to read it over three times.
DeleteSorry poster, this not marriage though you have a paper that says it is.
DeleteNo energy to type.God bless u
DeleteToo much sense, just save your money, make plans and leave when the love is totally dead. Don't even give him a reason, cus if you talk now they will call you a nag.
DeleteThank you jare.
DeleteMy God!! They took uour son there and he got lost????
ReplyDeleteHaaaa!!
I don’t even have strength to type. Him, His Flatmate and His Tinder ass better reevaluate things. You are not imagining shit!
Why would a married man join a hook up site parading as a dating site? I feel like both of you are strangers in this marriage. Do you like your husband's company? Is he your friend? Why is he seeking easy sex? Has he always cheated? Marrying just for the sake of marrying is the absolute worst thing to do in your life. You get to live your life with a complete stranger who you do not like and must act as though you are the epitome of a great union in public. That shit is exhausting and after a while you will become a liar in other things. If both of you are strangers who do not like each other then yes move on with your life. There is no house or material things in this world that can substitute for peace of mind and joy of spirit. There are millions and millions of rich ppl cutting themselves, committing suicide, being drug and drink addicts because they do not have peace of mind or joy of spirit despite having all the money the heart could desire. A house is a cheap thing to sell your soul and worth for, especially for a man you care nothing about.
ReplyDeleteMiss Lady, when you put the,”Rooms for Rent” notice out, who makes the final decision as to picking the tenant? Who does the background checks before the lease is signed? This is your matrimonial home. You guys also have a child. Which means you should have a say. I would not have allowed young girls as flat mates. You might not even be aware of that is his side chick. Some girls are very mean and don’t have a conscience. Your husband is sleeping with that girl. Be careful with your child before you send another chronicle about how she schemed her way to your bedroom. Your husband needs to go look for a second job so you can live in your home in peace.
ReplyDeleteHow dare he say tinder is for business and meeting new people?!!! He is a big, fat liar from the pit of hell! He took yout son on vacation with his mistress?!! Like WTH! What did I just read? Madam poster, it would be more respectful if somebody literally pours a bucket of poop on your face than what your so called husband is making you go through. Jeez! Please take a walk! He would soon infect you with a dirty disease. Gosh what a big, stinking, digusting and terrible liar. Madam I'm so sorry. I can't begin to even imagine what you are going through right now. You would emerge from this stronger.
ReplyDeleteMy concetn is even more about the child. A child that could be left to get lost at the beach is a child that could be abused by these strange tenants.
ReplyDelete*concern
ReplyDeletehonestly i don't understand this chronicle
ReplyDeleteAin't that hard. A man is cheating on his wife who is living away from him. She is seeking advise, especially from the male perspective on the problem and what to do next.
DeleteThis red pen doesn't make sense at all. Everything is the woman's fault. Even an irresponsible and lying husband. SMH
ReplyDeleteI don’t understand. Why did you allow female tenants in your house? He who fetched something infested firewood shouldn’t cry when lizards start paying her visit.
ReplyDeleteIn as much as I trust my husband, I will also not invite temptation to his doorstep. You allowed female tenants into your house, what were you thinking?
Always about men,if a young dude is brought it she has a a right to be tempted?.
DeleteIts all about self discipline.from both parties.
If u are in rentage and sexy tenants rent the same house now.no excuse to cheat.pls
What if he gay?
DeleteDistance does not help at all. Try to get a job in the same town your husband is. That's the first step. You can fix things better when you are together.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is lonely. It have the devil a chance to creep in through the lady, who came as a friend and talk buddy.
ReplyDeleteDistance is the cause of this temptation. Close the gap and you will have your man back.
Remmeber, he didn't set out to cheat. IF your marriage is worth it, come back and stay with your family. That's the only solution
Lonely ke, or he has a bachelor's spirit? He is enjoying himself tindering and holidaying with his so called tenant and you are saying he is lonely? I laugh in Angas. What I see is a serial cheat enjoying his long distance marriage.
DeleteGod! I beg you! I agree I’m imperfect, I agree I do act foolish at times, I agree I’m not 100 percent faithful to you as you God is to me... please lord this kind of chronicles send shiver down my spine! Help me marry the real of my bone & flesh of my flesh. I want to enjoy marriage not endure it. I want to raise my hands up to heave 10 years after marriage and say God helped me choose right. Help me Lord! Let let me marry Oloriburuku Okunrin🙏
ReplyDeleteAmen!
DeletePlease read your last paragraph madame!which kind curse you dey give your self?
Delete... Typo error! let me not marry Oloriburuku Okunrin. @madamekoinkoin thank you. correction made.
DeleteHmmm this story reminds me of 3 people..one named Stella, Niyi and Doris..Madam beware of the ides of March..Hire a private invetigator to find out now for you if u no get time like me..get pictures and co..then when you both are happy over a bottle of chilled wine..present to him in a cool manner with a bitchy smile when confronting him..#coldtouche
ReplyDeleteBabe, honestly ask yourself if tinder is for business or better still download it for yourself using a made up name and when you are back at home track your hubby yourself! Your marriage is important so is your safety and your son, your son got lost in the beach of all places while your husband was carried away by another woman.
ReplyDeleteI am a if you cheat I Waka! Not because of unforgiveness etc but because I love my self too much to open eye and put my life at risk by myself with diseases flying up and down.These men have gotten away with a lot of rubbish walahi, Chai! Imagine tinder for business, not even linked in sef
of
If you want leave, OK nau but make sure you Get enough proof of his cheating...make sure you can gain custody of your son as it seems like you are not very present in his life at the moment, Empower your self e.g buy your own house if possible and live a healthy life free from worries.
Why not try to relocate and get a smaller apartment for you and your husband and son, while you rent out this house fully? I noticed your hubby is not likely encouraging you to be with him. Hmmmm. If he is not on board with you both actually coming together to live as a couple, then something is so wrong.......
DeletePoster why the distance in your marriage? If marriage or relationship mess up is the woman's fault, if the woman stay in an abusive marriage is her fault. Your husband is cheating on you with that flatemate.
ReplyDeleteYou need to talk to your husband to send that lady packing, move down to his location, build the connection btw you both. Never you allow your son to be alone with him, are you telling me that another woman can take care of your son than you? If that boy was lost forever the heart break and lost will be more for you than his. Do not allow your husband to continue messing with your emotions, anytime you are around and you see the lady shaking her waist around your man, you better place her where she belongs. Do not keep mute and allow her behave anyhow around your man. If you try your best but no changes or your man is still acting funny, just walk away. Life is more important than marriage.
Those of you saying she should leave, shey you people think marriage is small children's play?
ReplyDeleteSmall thing, the woman should just pack out and quit the marriage...and there is even a child involved for that matter.
That's why marriages fail nowadays. Nobody wants to work things out anymore. Small quarrel , the man starts looking outside. Small argument, the woman packs her things and leave.
She hasn't even caught her hubby cheating. She didn't say she saw love messages in his phone. She didn't tell us why there is even the distance in the first place
Yet, some of you are telling her to end the marriage
I tire for some kain advice here
Thank you, i keep wondering if the bvs on dis blog are from mars, any small thing 'leave d marriage' and a whole lot of them are facing worse things in their relationships, they strive to keep it going, fine there comes an extent when u are exhausted after having trying all to save ur marriage then u can leave to save ur sanity asides that, the youths of nowadays want it sweet sweet, no effort no struggle, i bet ur marriages will be boring as hell, dear poster kindly fight for your marriage its yours to keep and enjoy.
DeleteWhat sort of irritating chronicle is this?? Woman have your son live with you!!! That’s my biggest concern for you right now! Deal with your marriage later but get your to live with you and not with your messy husband. Gosh you’re so irritating.
ReplyDeleteAny man wey cheat on me and i catch am, i will retaliate.
ReplyDelete