Or is there no way to say good bye without burning bridges?
Have you ever been on this table?How did you walk away and still remain friends with the ex?
Or was it you that was dumped?Did the person do it well?Are you on talking terms with your ex?
How do you walk through a bridge without burning it.......
I had a relationship that lasted for 5 years. Everyone who knew us thought we would get married.
ReplyDeleteBut that marriage didn't happen because I felt we were just incompatible. One day, we both sat down and talked things over.
We agreed to move on. We still remain friends.
@14:03
DeleteSo it took you five years to find out that you were incompatible?
Or is it that you were enjoying being drilled -aka fornication?
So it took both of you a whole five years to know you were not compatible? Five years? !
DeleteI just tire @don
DeleteYou would've graduated from reading law, engineering, med lab, nursing etc or graduated from the university and finished from nysc.. more power
Waste of time and energy
kpomo lips @ Don how is the timing your problem?
DeleteWow. Madam I envy your courage. 5 freaking years..
DeleteActually, he wanted marriage but I had my reservations about it. He showed some certain traits that I thought would fade a way with time. Unfortunately, it never happened.
DeleteI loved him, breaking up with him wasn't easy. At the end of the day, we had to talk and agree to move on.
He got married eventually and the marriage packed up in less than 5 years.
You won't understand.
Is it not better she did this and left, than force herself to get married "because we've spent five years together"?
DeleteThe Ability to tell ourselves the truth is what many people lack
DeleteI applaud your courage
You have time to be explaining to these inconsequential people.
DeleteI don't know the relevance of hammering on how long it took her to take a walk or how it is your business. Bottom line is she took a walk.
.
DeleteMy 2 Ex gave me the Silent treatment,I was already feeling ashamed since Smashing was involved,i jeje faced Front and let dem be.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people who say "I'm in love" are actually in "infatuation or lust"
ReplyDeletethese are pure selfish, self-gratifying, malevolent attribute of the human nature. It cannot go beyond fulfilling sexual fantasies and desires, acquisition of material gains, to anything else.
Forget about marriage which pitiably is what a lot of us ladies are seeking for once we are in a relationship.
The purity of Love is a character of the regenerated human spirit which is indwelt by the Spirit of God the creator. Such a person has a "new beginning through repentance". There is nothing like "burning bridges" or venting off on stacked wrong deeds. Even if the relationship was a mistake, which any human can make, the parties involved go out wiser, and armed with the lessons learnt are able to make better choices. Look at the manual of life as purity of Love is characterized:
1 Cor. 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It DOES NOT DISHONOR OTHERS, it IS NOT SELF-SEEKING, it is NOT EASILY ANGERED, it KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
So do hope you can in your relationship be able to characterize/identify "Love" as opposed to "infatuation/lust?"
I don yarn finish ooo.
😊😊🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹😘
Wow!!!!!! I know this handwriting.......ANG..this is just the gbamest.... You are correct, and I hope we all learn from this write up....
DeleteIt is when we don't know the reason for a thing that we tend to abuse it. Happy Sunday people of God...
Apt
DeleteThe most Complex
👌👌👌
DeleteFor someone like me that my husband likes to talk about all his exes, keeps in touch with them, even form relationship counselor for them, still friends with one of his ex's family which has caused a lot of issiis for us. Yet he doesn't see anything wrong with that. Even though I still keep in touch with my ex, I don't not run it off on his fsce. My question is: is it proper to tell your wife things about your ex? Is it even necessary? He talks about how one even had abortions for him..how she was close to his dad and all his family members. But she left him to get married as he wasn't ready at that time. Me I kind of feel he still loves her. What do you guys think? Though I know my husband loves me more than I love him but I don't understand how a man will keep in touch with all his exes. Smh.
ReplyDeleteNo it's not proper. Your husband doesn't have respect for you.
DeleteAnyway whatever works for you and husband. In my own marriage, you dare not bring up ex nonsense in my house.
That's what they say about not burning bridges,There's nothing wrong about your husband hosting you about his past life as long as theirs nothing shady between them again
DeleteTill okafor's law will happen
DeleteSo my husband was transferred from Lagos to Kano and a wealthy brother of his objected to it for security purpose. Hubby had no option than to go to Kano or resign and his brother told him to resign and come to Abuja with me and our child. He promised to use his connections and get us good job and we believed him and relocated.
ReplyDeleteDo you know that since March till now, no show expect all kinds of maltreatment from this man. He has asked us several times to get out of his house but we have no option now than to keep begging.. Where do we go from here if not village.
We have been visiting several job sites, looking for job opportunity but nothing yet .
Seems he only brought us here to frustrate us. We are seriously believing in God for his miracle but if nothing comes up from now till March next year, we will go back to that village.
With the shege that this man has shown us, if I leave this house tomorrow I don't think I will have anything to do with him again in this life.
This is so sad. Cant hubby reapply for his job at the Kano branch perhaps they haven't gotten someone suitable for the position. Kano is calm at the moment.
DeleteWhat handiwork do u or ur hubby have?
DeleteWhat did he study so if i see an opening I let u know.
It is well
oh this is so sad. I pray for open doors for you and your hubby. if it doesn't happen before March. You can relocate to the village. it is not the end of the world. A break through will come your way....Amen.
DeleteYour brother in-law is wicked.
DeleteHow can he treat his own blood that way?
You won’t go to any village.
Something positive will happen and you will be happy again.
Tenth hubby is a network engineer.
DeleteMe I read Public Administration
Thanks guys
Anonymous 14:17
Sluty a very big Amen to your wishes. I'm relieved
DeleteIt is always better to remind oneself of the good times than dwelling on the bad times... It is even more easier to keep a cordial and mutual relationship with an ex if there were nothing like domestic violence or any other form of abuses.
ReplyDeleteI have found a good way to keep things cordial with him and I also want a very healthy relationship/environment for my boy.
Sometimes, healing doesn't come early or fast enough especially when one has likely invested their all and believed to have rest their case (last bus stop kinda thing or my first and last kind of thing) but, who are we to question God.
I love you sis for this comment.I am also divorced from the man who I thought would be my first and last but we are been mature about it and people keep asking how i can still talk,chat and whenever he wants to see his son i make him available.It wasnt my plan but truly God knows best.
DeleteMy dear anonymous 15:10, I love you too.
DeleteKeep being strong there and don't allow people negative words and thoughts becloud your positive mind and beliefs.
You live and feel more happier staying on the positive side.
A happy mother raise a happy child(ren)
🤗🤗😘😘😘
Ms. A and anon 15:10 don’t worry, God has great plans for you.
DeleteHe’ll give you guys the best.
Just like Celine Dion would say in one of her album, "We don't say goodbyes". Of a truth you may need each other help in future again, maybe not in continuing the friendship but in business wise. Every relationship I left were on good note. If you must quit a relationship, let it be on a mutual understanding and adequate compensation if need be for the time, emotions and energy spent in it.
ReplyDeleteAgain, in a time of dispute, don't say nasty things or break the bridge. Always leave room for reconciliation in case of probability. You can imagine how ashamed you will be or feel after all the nasty things you said, you ended up reuniting again.
When you are done with someone, please respect their secret confided in you. Don't drag them down and above all don't instigate people to dislike them. Tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone.
My dear, there are people you’d never want to see in your life, cos of how they treated you.
DeleteIt’s well.
Personally I dont like keeping friends with my ex,I blocked all from facebook.
ReplyDeleteA personal decision
How do I leave my husband without burning bridges. I hope I can leave and we still remain friends for the sake of the children. I know he wouldn't allow take them. I have to just go with them. He's been trying to adjust but I don't just love him again. I should send in a chronicle someday
ReplyDeleteI am so on this table right now, I have been married for over 16years,he has always been abusive both verbally,physically and emotionally, he cheated on me with a few women and now I think I am ready to leave the marriage with or without my kids. The past keeps playing all the time in my head. Recently I reconnected with my first and only true love who I lost communication with for over 17years,when he told me all he went through to reconnect with me,I felt really bad that I just should have waited for him. We are both from the same state,unlike my present husband. We got married because I got pregnant for him and anytime I look back I see that I never loved him. I am just waiting to see my little girl start secondary school and I will make my move cause the past keeps making me so bitter and my ex is still single and even if I don't end up being with him,I just want to be on my own for my sanity.
DeleteI burn bridges.. alot. Once we're done, we're done. I'm not friends with any of my ex.
ReplyDeleteGbam.
DeleteI was dumped , I fell out of love with my ex and was on my own, till I decided to try again. I was really inlove and I felt him too was in love with me, I was really happy and the people around me were so happy for me. He was the best man I ever dated, despite it was short period, he was cute and free spirit, I could express myself as I wanted. I never loved any man like him( I'm still blushing typing this and sad same time), I became a happy woman with so much joy and kept thanking God for giving me a man like him.
ReplyDeleteThe devil just couldn't stand to hear me giving thanks to God, all of a sudden , he stopped talking to me and would not pick my calls, I begged and apologized for what I never knew I did, yet his mind was made up. One day he told me, it wasn't going to work, just like that, I was shocked. That was the end. In all I still give God thanks, who ever is meant for me will come but that was my first time of a guy cutting off from me, it really got to me cos in all my relationship I quit myself and we remain good friends without any benefit attached.
Annon 14:28 Now that was how does guys feel when you dump them, not easy sist, but life goes on.
DeleteHe is not your God.
DeleteConfused man who can not have a talk with you,ur own will come
Burning bridges is not a good thing because you never tell what the future holds.
ReplyDeleteI am cordial with my exes and people relationships didn't work out with save for two of them who being close to would resurrect demons I want to leave in the past.
U are right....just like my ex then...she blocked me cuz she could not face me anylonger,,,she was at fault but guess what,,now she needs my help but she doesn't know how to come about it.... Not financially but hmmmmm..make I no talk shaaaa..
DeleteVanity upon vanity
Chief ghoster, I disappear before you drop d breakup line or when misbehavior sets in n either of us can't stand it, it makes everything easier.
ReplyDeleteYou mean after beds and waist are broken?🐤🐥😊😊😊
DeleteLol...see your head.
DeleteMy ex used jazz on me but he loved me unconditionally, I loved him too but his love was just too much for me. I got to know abt d jazz from his friends room mate dat took him to d jazz man. I confronted him and he agreed to it, dat was d end of us. To even think he was my first, he was so nice to me, he could do anytime for me but I was scared for myself.I did so many stupid things with dis guy I even asked we take an oath he agreed immediately to it dat was when I gave myself small brain. There was a time he sensed I was withdrawing from him, he than told me to promise him I will only get married when he has graduated from skul, I agreed but i was no longer close to him. Immediately he graduated I got married I heard dis guy almost died of heart pain, he couldn't bear it. After being married for five year guy man called me dat he is now doing well dat he doesn't mind getting married to me dat I should divorce my husband. That was when I know he has lost it. Immediately I told husband man, he gave him the warning of his life.
ReplyDeleteWonders shall never end..jazz cuz of woman..ogbeni,,,I rather face my front
DeleteI know some love are these strong and true. The only place he spoilt it was the jazz.
DeleteIf he has stayed with how he loves you, and trusted and believed you would stay with him, it could have been him married to you now.
This is how people destroy their future, by trying to use jazz to 'solve/maintain/obtain or secure' a thing or two.
If only these people can trust God completely, as they trust this jazz or the native doctors.
Sorry he didn't love you at all. A man that loves you will NOT use jazz on you. And if he respects you, he wouldn't be asking you to leave your marriage. And you, if you love yourself and respect your marriage, this is the exact kind of man you would have burned bridges with. Cos he doesn't mind making you a widow if he thinks that's how he can have you.
Delete@Anon 15.59, you are very correct
DeleteObsession is different from love.
DeleteI didn't burn bridges, I was a wife but my husband cheated, I divorced him, he brought d other girl in, since she knew I was in his life n decided to try her luck, I decided to give my ex husband full access to my life n kids, they are married now, she's d one doing d crying,prayer n fasting for my ex husband to abandon me,.isn't life funny?, see wahala o, hahahaa, he even pays more attention than when we were married, d kids fees come without delay, their upkeep money is on point, I get d SVD and extra cash, I begin to wonder why we got married initially, and guy man isn't ready to stop coming to my house after close of work to eat n cuddle before going home, I don't have a problem at all, he's my ex with benefits, we shall continue till death do us part, his words, not mine, and that's his headache, I'm only an ex.
ReplyDeleteYou're still the loser.
DeleteHmmmmmm......Hod help u dear but be careful of the unknown
DeleteFunny just like whats about to happen to me.Men ,they will never appreciate you enough untill you choose to step out then they start loving up and you keep wondering why he wasnt all nice and caring in marriage.
DeleteI don't approve of what she is doing but she is not the loser here. She has her children who are well provided for, no need for her to cook and clean for him, worry about him and his shenanigans and best of all she gets to send him back to his current wife.
DeleteDon't, d only thing u feel I miss is the MRS title, asides that, nothing, absolutely nothing, he's has refused to be faithful to his wife who broke my home, how's that my business? Should I deny him access to my house to see His kids? Plus his mother is living with me briefly, I'm not vengeful pls o, no loser no champion.
DeleteHmm..you have given me an idea, my ex husband is asking to see our son, I think I will do this, at least my son gets to see his dad every week and who knows, we might get cosy and flow.
DeleteUna no dey fear disease?
Delete@14:43 you are the real MVP! Enjoy yourself. The silly girl thought she could break your home and end up being happy while you remain the loser. Now she has turned to prayer warrior. Useless girl who thought she could win the battle. By right, you are the first wife and she is the second wife. Let's all enjoy the man. Afterall when she was chopping and cleaning mouth and you were the one casting and binding, it was sweet abi?? Rabbesh!
DeleteAnon 14:43 stop using my SVD 🙄
DeleteWife turned side chic 😆same thing that made you divorce your husband. Damaged women.
Please enjoy o
DeleteLet her feel the same pain she cause you he is your husband divorce or not and the father to your kids ,all side chicks will suffer lot and more amen ,
What a prayer @rosemary 😂😂😂
DeleteThe person you are asking to enjoy is a side chic 😆
Let me see you preach here again 🙄 hypocrite.
Don't mind the dama woman @slutty. You left because he cheated on you, now he's coming to fuck you and go home to another woman and you're forming MVP
DeleteI met this very cute and baby faced guy in my 100 level and I fell in love. I did not mind that he was in his final year, he was so cute that he won baby face category at his departmental awards. Not even the revelation a few months after we started dating that he was a cultist deterred me from carrying on with our relationship. My friends deserted n he became my only friend. We were known all over campus. This guy loved me and treated me like a princess. During crisis periods in school, I remember writing a carryover exam for him( he had an extra year), did his clearance for him, would take food to him and his friends at their hideout at a military barrack. At some point , I moved in with him albeit temporarily. He graduated, went for NYSC in Port Harcourt and I went to visit him. After NYSC, he came to Lagos to be with me ( he actually resides in the East) and then later went back to the east when he could not secure a job in Lagos. I was and still is friends with his mum and brothers. In all we dated for three years plus. I think the problem started when he returned to the east n I met another guy in Lagos. That’s how I started communicating less frequently n dodging his calls until it became clear that I was no longer interested. He was very hurt but somehow we remained friends n occasionally he would tell me whenever I asked if he was seeing someone yet that he had yet to meet my kind. Sometimes he would suggest we get back together n I would laugh it off. His friends called me but I was too far gone in my new relationship which was a happy one. During my service year one of his closest friends travelled from Bayelsa to Calabar to see me over the matter( this was like two years after we had broken up). I also remember introducing my roommate during NYSC to him n he invited her to Lagos but they did not click. We were really good friends n would talk on phone, chat on Facebook. Let me add that he later got a job in Lagos n occasionally we hung out ( no sex , no kisses) . We would talk my relationship and all. Occasionally his mum would send me messages on Facebook just to check on me and all. I think he got married a year or so after I did ( I didn’t marry the guy I left him for because my parents played the tribe card) n then our communication reduced. He moved back to the east again n life happened we did not talk for over a year only for me to open his mum’s Facebook page last April that he passed suddenly. I was devastated, I hurt especially because I hadn’t been in touch with him for a while.I called his mum, n elder brother to commiserate with him. I and his friends raised some money amongst ourselves which was given to the wife( they had no kid). I was supposed to attend d funeral in Onitsha but I backed out last minute due to office shenanigans. Wherever you are Uche, know that you still occupy a very special place in my heart. You were too good to have passed suddenly. Keep resting in the Lord
ReplyDeleteWhat a touching story.
DeleteIt's obvious from your write-up he loved you dearly and loved your company.
He didn't even hate you for breaking up with him or dating another.
I guess he got married when he realized that you were gone forever (married).
Maybe, his marriage was even a sad one. Probably always comparing his wife to you.
So, why didn't you marry him? You guys seemed like perfect together.
Why?
Truth be told, I wouldn’t have minded marrying him. Our relationship was headed that way. Before I left naija, I used to meet people who knew us back in school and they did express surprise that we did not get married. One of the things that put me off the relationship was that where it concerned me, he was a softie. I m very stubborn n need a guy who can put me right. Whenever he tried to do so and I kicked, he’d back down. Even his friends complained he was not acting d Capone he was. He did absent himself from their meetings to be with me. Lovely lovely guy. His death really hurts n still hurts me. Sometimes I want to reach out to his widow but I don’t know how she ll take it.
DeleteI will tell you straight once it's over and no need for us to be friends.
ReplyDeleteLol your name says it all 😃. No beating bout the bush.
DeleteMy sister, no time.
DeleteWhich nonsense friendship again are we doing. If we are coming together for anything is going to be for sex, nothing..
I believe there are some bridges you should not just burn but completely decimate so you are not tempted to cross back. I ghost you immediately we are done. What I don't understand is as soon as I do is when guy man will want to come back. I simply cannot allow anyone who mistreats me back into my life. When people show you who they are believe them.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what happens,,we should always try to amend things with our ex..it's very important and u might think,amending things with ur ex will lead to another thing but I bet u,,being discipline gives u an head way.
ReplyDeleteSince I have gotten to understand what relationship is all about,have always been friends with my exes(lol)
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday people.
The circumstance that led to your breakup will determine if you will part in peace or not.
Overtime, the wound would heal, but the scar remains.
So, different people, different stroke.
PS:Someone should Send me movies today pls.
Let me spies up this boring day.
I do 'Appear and Disappear'
ReplyDeleteWe'll remain friends because before any break up story comes from either me or you, I've mentally left and forgiven you...
I burn not just the bridge but the bridges that led to that bridge. I'm loyal to a fault so if someone is no longer in my life (whether they're just a friend or I used to date them), there's usually a very serious reason. Sometimes, there's no fight but you just can't be in my life, abeg.
ReplyDeleteLet me read comments 😁😁😁
ReplyDeleteDepends on what how messy the break up was.
ReplyDeleteI had to call an ex today....I had burned that bridge mentally, physically, totally and all the the ally. But I had to call him cos of a nice guy. So I swallowed my pride...got the contact I wanted. Caught up briefly and wished him well. I didn't even bother saving his nos. One of my ex who cost me another relationship leading to marriage cos he was jealous ...I was so hurt that I cursed him that he will never marry until I do(he hasn't) tried coming back was nice to me on my birthday cos he probably thought I was lonely when he realised that I wasn't going to travel to see him for any stupid reason, reason being he bought me a gown from Morocco like seriously, when I never finish US and UK cloths that I bought with my money na to travel cos of another African country cloth na so the guy ghost me. I didn't even send him...always giving cryptic messages on WhatsApp status lol. Anyways, I burn bridges that are no use to me esp the ungrateful ones male and female and even when they try to come back. My response is so icy that they regret it. It's good for my soul and my peace...no negativity at all.
ReplyDeleteNo space for friends. Once we are over we are over, no hi
ReplyDeleteI do most of the bridge burning.Once the relationship ends I delete his number and stop every form of comm on social media.
ReplyDeleteHmmm....
ReplyDeleteI parted amicably from 3 of my ex (I have only had 4 ex I dated and I'm married now). I still talk to 2 regularly and respond to the other when he reaches out. No temptation to be with any of them. It's just better to have friends instead of enemies.
ReplyDeleteThe circumstances leading to the breakup is the determinant of whether I’ll burn the bridge or not. There’s a particular ex I cut off completely, the guy just came up with a prophecy story out of the blues, someone that was all over me o, he was so quick to introduce me to his family which I didn’t really like, I’m always of the opinion of being sure of the relationship before informing family. Guyman just bailed out and I was so hurt but handled it as well as I could. since then I cut off, didn’t give room for communication even when he tried to.
ReplyDeleteIt actually depends on the reason for the breakup. In friendship and relationships, you have to weigh your options and decide if the bridge should be burnt and how to go about it. It's not a one-size-fits-all approach.
ReplyDeleteTrue
DeleteI don't burn bridges; I uproot the beam too. Forward ever; backward never.
ReplyDeleteI think this depends on how the relationship ended...I took a step back from a relationship when i realized it was a rebound thing for him. I tried to be mature about it but when guy man was being defensive and even typed a message calling me a witch. I waka..Next one i had to figure out for myself that guy man was no longer interested,he couldn't even tell me. Was acting really strange,silent treatment,i begged to talk,said he is busy. When i didn't know what to do again.I respect myself waka,months later he was married. I have moved on and don't hold any grudges. The important thing for me is to learn the lessons i am supposed to learn and move on,become better,work on myself,grow
ReplyDeleteand be happy... I don't see why i should be chatty with them? So like i said depends on the circumstances
it depends how the relationship ended. i had 3 Ex and 1 crush hehehe. one of my ex i still chat and talk. no strings attached. the other two no contact but no malice. i believe if i wanted or they wanted they can conatact me.
ReplyDeletemeanhile, the crush lol. we cruch on each other even when we have gf and bf. Till we finished univeristy we never dated or spent a day together NEVER. After NYSC that he came to Lagos and i inivited him to my bf(a new bf) house that he fucked me so hard. he came in 5mins. i was suprised and he replied babe i have been longing for this day for years. its been 8 years we saw, but we do phone sex or video. He is happy.