Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmm.....na wa

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

A NARATIVE TO LEARN FROM

Hello Stella,

As I was reading  Wednesday's boredom elimination post. The memories of how I and my husband connected came flooding back. Coincidentally, Saturday is 12yrs wedding anniversary. We are blessed to have us a couple.



I met him online, those days when Glo had a chat buddy feature on their Network. I was married then. And I was in 300L, he was a part time student but broke (Lol). But his astuteness and intelligence stood him out. I got to know he was struggling, I, on the other hand came from a comfortable mid-class family and married to a comfortable husband too. So as our friendship progressed, I found myself helping him financially, 10k, 15k, 20k, 25k. And he was quite appreciative. All this while he didn't know I was even married. Not until I came to Lagos for my NYSC did he get to know I was off the market. And that was on one of those days he came to visit me during orientation. And asked that "B, I hopeful you are not doing all this because you want something in return?" I laughed so hard that he wondered what the problem was.

 I asked him like what, to which he said marriage. I then told him to look at my finger that I was married already. And if he took a proper look at me, he would see that I was pregnant. That I only took interest in him because I hate seeing such a bright and brilliant mind waste away. And since I find myself in a position to help, I took it up. Then he thanked me. Sadly, that marriage ended, even before I could birth that baby. My first husband was a batterer. He hit so hard one night at 6months, everyone thought I was dead. Having been warned severally by my father, he came to my rescue. My mother was broken, because she made the marriage happen, against what my father for - grown mind to make my own choices. That was how that marriage ended. The baby survived, I birthed her prematurely at 8months. Luckily without any complication.


Make una no laff me o. Because I got married again, I was still in the life of this guy as a friend. I was working then with a multinational establishment. He was in his final year then. But I was still helping him out financially. Now with a fixed sum, slightly higher than what I was giving him then. He attended my second marriage. And gave me a wonderful gift, even though it was one the cheapest I got. I valued it most. 

This second marriage didn't even last up to a year and half - what was wrong with this girl, you go dey ask for your mind. I and my 2nd husband got to know I had complication with getting pregnant. Due to my last pregnancy and the physical abuse that went with it. After trying for a year and half he asked to leave the marriage. I was in my late 20s at this time, and already had 2 failed marriage - bad market.



My parents decided to send me abroad for my master programme and have a change of everything. I was still in contact this God sent guy. He was in his service year at this time. And the goodness in me was still handing him handouts. Mind you I am older by 2yrs. My last 2 exes were much older than I. 

By this time, he started positioning himself for a relationship. I liked him but not sure I loved him. Because I think he understands me more than my 2 exes. Anyway, today we are a couple with 3 lovely boys - it did not come easy, not in the first yrs plus. And my first child, a daughter, he treats her better than even his boys. Damn it, this guy loves me, Stella. We do have the regular marital squabbles and all but he is the best that has happened to me, his understanding is second to none. I didn't see what God placed in front of me. I was busy chasing other things. It took me a while to let anyone know I was in a relationship again. It was after I and him had decided the month of our introduction before I took him to meet my parents. Today he is my father's best friend, you heard me right. 

He introduced me to your blog 7yrs ago.

I celebrate you, the love of my life. Wished I knew all, I would have married you the period fate brought us together.....


Please don't ask me if he is better placed now financially - that has never a problem for me. I have it this good, doesn't mean investing in someone else's life will turnout good for you. Remember I went through hurt and pain too. There are many adult- child out there parading themselves as men. Think through about what you want and work with it. But if you ever meet a good soul, a truly matured adult who understands you, regardless of the status disparity. Please endeavour to be in their life. Relationships doesn't have to end in marriage. You could be the messeger God sent into their life, for the fulfilment of His promises to them. Live life wisely and have fun too while at it.

WOW!!!!......thanks for sharing!!!