STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADIVCE NEEDED URGENTLY
Hello Stella,
Please, I have a little issue at hand and am very much confused and would very urgently need your advice and that of my blog family.
My family and i(husband and kids) just moved into a new apartment and I found out that the area is still developing and has only one shop where they sell groceries. The woman sells everything, infact, the only thing she doesn't have is human meat. Now, I just grasped from our gateman that she would be moving out from that shop soon, and I was also advised by the same gateman to start selling the same thing the woman sells as it would be very lucrative.
The issue here is that I have never done business before, and have always set my sights on a 9-5 (which hasn't been forthcoming by the way)
Secondly, I had an accident and broke a leg, it's been 6months but the fracture is almost healed, thank God. So my movement is a bit restricted for now as am on crutches
Thirdly, my husband has asked me to join him in his business after I recover fully. His business is a very successful one but I don't know if I will get to make my own personal money(if u know what I mean) and on the other hand I dreamt of my husband having a thing with his secretary so I confronted him and he actually confessed to me that he almost slept with her and would have infact slept with her if it hadn't been revealed to me, I always have recurrent visions which end up becoming reality if something is not done and he knows this, so he asked that we go and see our Rev, he confessed, cried and did all those drama in church, begging me and vowing to God that he would never do it again. I forgave him, but became very alert.
Now he wants us to do business together to avoid all those nonsense until I get a job........ if i get a job.
Please, my dear family, advice me on what to do. The grocery or my husband's business?
Thank you all for cracking me up silly with your comments everytime, I love you!
The Grocery store would have been a good idea but desparate measures call for desparate actions.....Since you know his weakness and he has confessed and apologised,I think you should accept the offer of working with him for now oooooooooooh
Have you spoken to the woman to make sure she will be leaving and if she will also be willing to give the shop out? Plus do you know if she has given it to other person? Abi na she send your gateman? Please note that staying in your husband's shop will not stop him from misbehaving if he choose to.
ReplyDeleteGbam!! Iji ya(true talk)
DeleteLoll, so you want to turn yourself into a full time nanny abi security guard because your husband cannot control his penis.
DeleteSo you think you need to put wrist cuffs and latch and stand under his nose to prevent him digging whatever he wants to dig?
Loll.
You gon learnnnnnn.
Buahahahahahahahaa
Anyways, your life, your decision.
True talk @FAN
DeleteBV COOKIE
Madam pls use two stones to kill 1 bird
ReplyDeleteGet the business put a sales rep and also work for your hubby, since is your hubby u do not have any Hr to query u or fire u, u can go 3/4times a week or leave earlier than close time then go and Supervise your business b4 sales rep go chop u down
For this is what i will do
And also look at it in the other way, what about if your hubby business start going down *God forbid* at least there will b 2nd source of income
SPOT ON!!
DeleteExactly what I would do. But, do take stock of ur shop daily. Monitor her or him like a hawk.
DeleteGbam Gbamer Gbamest
DeleteI was just about writing same. You dey my mind oooo
DeleteExactly what I'd do if caught up in this situation. Poster, take Lilysimples' advise but if I may add, please be the one to always stock up the shop. But if you're having any constraints with that, place the orders, make the negotiations then your sales person would just go and pick them up.
DeleteAlso, device a way to always search the person at the close of the day...
When she comes to work, send her one small errand in the house and search her bag to see what she came with, and when you come back, send her another small errand n search to see what she leaves with. Don't let the person know you touched the bag...this matter is what we call nkita onye Oko if you are from orumba/aguata part of anambra
DeleteInstall a camera
DeleteIn my opinion, you can actually do both. Hire someone to supervise the grocery shop for you; you can stock on Saturdays while you work with your husband on weekdays.
ReplyDeletePlease go for the shop. How long will you continue to be his watch dog? It takes maturity and understanding to do business as husband and wife. After sales, he may just put the money into his account and give you money for upkeep with the talk of 'I am the head of the family'. Make your own money and save it as you want. If your husband likes let him obey his vows or misbehave, no him sabi.
ReplyDeleteNa real watch dog! Lmmaaaaoooo
DeleteOne thing that weakens me is when women who are married and claim to love their husbands begin to talk "my money, his money..."
ReplyDelete😯😯😯😯
If your husband happens to die or is in coma (not at all wishing you this, but you just told us that you had "an accident' which can happen to anybody), do you have access to the
monies from "this very successful business?" Or will you suddenly find out that you are peniless -starving in the midst of plenty?
Bikonu, please my dear sisters, let us be wise. The woman is created to be the "man's help mate..." isn't it?
Now, this man is asking you to come and help him in his business...with the risks/temptation he is exposed to which I believe is God revealing it to you to safeguard your home...and you
want to go and "make your own money?"
Since God reveals things to you in
your dreams, have you asked him about
this "my own money making business?" Or
you just want to "waka" your own way and come in with Chronicles when the chips (and perhaps trousers and skirts) are down?😲😲😲
Okwa ajuju k' m n' ajuo oo -I am only asking (relevant) questions?
Why not even discuss this new (my own money) business with your husband (the man you swore to love and "claim" to love) instead of
discussing with "gate man?" 😯😯😯
Mmmmmhhhh "discussions of business with gate man"
🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐
We had a retired teacher as a gateman one time. Very sensible man. Pls discuss with whomever. Just have good boundaries . This discussion could be one minute where the man throws out an idea and you catch it
Delete@16:24
DeleteIs she allergic to business discussions with her husband, are the two no longer one?
Why the one minute "throwing out and catching of idea..." thing, or is the gate keeper
more intelligent business wise than the husband whom she presented to us as a very
successful business man?
Don't you think too that she may be opening a hiatus for temptations to creep in, even
if not on her part... could be on the part of the gate keeper whom she did not tell us
his age, spiritual identity etc.
Please let's not invite a weep party chronicle.
‘Safeguard her home’ SMH. As if the man cannot meet women everywhere. Maybe she should tie him to her waist
DeleteMy dear discuss with only your husband if you want but just know you and husband sense is just that. You and your husband. It can’t pass the sense of the whole world. Will her successful husband also hear that mama is closing shop and they can buy it. Smh. Small pikin Dey worry you
Delete@17:21
DeleteWasn't God helping her to safeguard her home through that dream?
As for your second point, I've addressed it @15:31
Thanks.😊
@17:52
DeleteThanks for the insults. I have become "small pikin" okwa ya?
😊😊😊
Thanks again for the insults.
My aunt had that dream. Her husband still cheated. Not every warning is to stop the guy
DeleteSome is to tell you to be careful but we don’t always hear
Do both get a sales rep for store and put camera so they dont chop you clean mouth
ReplyDeleteFirstly, are you joining your husband's business because of the dream you had of him having something with the secretary? Or you want to join him because you want to join him and also you'd make an impact in his business?
ReplyDeleteFrom your statement if feels as thou you want to join him so as to prevent him from having a thing with the secretary and other women.
If that is the case, how many women do you think your presence will make them stay off?
Doesn't he go out to other places? Will you be his right hand man always to ensure he doesn't keep a girlfriend?
I think you should consider the grocery shop. Earn your own money, your husband's money isn't yours.
Make a wise decision!
If there is the means, you can get the store, put someone there for now and oversea him/her. If na her, she must not live with you oo.
ReplyDeleteMost importantly as ee dey hot now now so, go work with your husband. Then with time, you will be withdrawing small small by going like 50 /50 on both businesses, then 75% store & 25% hubby's hustle. I beg use sense secure your home 1st. You cannot be everywhere with him, but do your own part way you fit. He needs to man up, respect matrimony & be able to resist the devil.
Blessings dear.
Wait a min, since your are Joseph the dreamer' sister, you will see everything in your dreams. Just focus.
Hope you will interpret it right.
Hanty if i were u i would do both. i will work with my husband and still run the provision stuff that way i will have two stream of income, with me being the "ONLY" ceo of the provision store. And the first act of duty i will do is to fire the impendimg danger to my peace of mind, marraige and business which is that secretary then find a chain and chain that thing between my husband leg.
ReplyDeleteYou need to let your hubby know that if u are joinung him in his business you are to be his partner and not just a wife and that means you have the capacity to fire and hire when the need arises. if your husband doesnt let you fire her as the new co ceo that you will soon be then know that your husband will go behind and still straff her.
i have seen people run several businesses at a time. you too can do it and while at it please use the same speed you use to come here and bring us feed back ehn especially on how u fire the secretary. That is the one i want to hear. Good luck
ask the Holyspirit, teacheth' all things,He will direct you on what to do....but in my opinion the grocery business will be good,if you wont run credit.
ReplyDeleteyou can run the 2 businesses concurrently
Let me also add to my earlier discussion.
ReplyDeleteWhat will keep a Christian from falling into sin
when tempted is a "habitual regimen of disciplining the flesh"
What I do is that I have days in the week (during which we are least busy)
when I fast and pray together with my husband... Jesus said "when you fast..." Matthew 6:17
not "if you fast...". We are also taught to "mortify our flesh..." Col. 3:5
So, I had to write this because just being in the business won't remove "lust" but
discipline -training oneself unto godliness will 1 Tim.4:7
Pls how can one learn to fast.
Delete@17:45
DeleteHave shared it here before:
Fasts as discussed in the Scriptures:
Learn to meditate on precious promises of our Lord who taught that humans shall not live on food alone (Matthew 4:4).
1. The regular fasts – not eating from morning till evening or for days but drinking only water
E.g. Joseph and the Egyptians mourning for Jacob his father – Genesis 50:1-11, David’s brokenness as restoration after he sinned with Bathsheba (2 Sam. 12:1-24, Psalm 51:17)
Note Jesus’ teaching that there is an open reward for the believer who fasts in secret (Matthew 6:16-18). As a component of worship (Acts 13:1-6)
2. Dry fasts -some of the believers in the above citations might have decided not to drink water till evening or some few days depending on how they were led by the Spirit of God (Rom. 8:14) to embark on such a fast. While Queen Esther sought for (the king’s) favor -Esther 4:16. Also Nineveh’s repentance -Jonah 3:6-10
3. Fruits/Vegetables/water -the Daniels’s fasts -Daniel ate only fruits, vegetables and drank water for extended periods of time to concentrate in his training in the king’s palace (Daniel 1:8-16) or while battling the forces of evil (Daniel 10:3-end). Note that no cooked meal is involved in this type of fast.
4. The supernatural fasts – very few people did this in the Scriptures as directed by God due to the nature of their assignments on earth. It is not for everybody.
Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness -Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-13
Moses reception of the law on the Mount with God – Exodus 34:28
The goal: Train yourself to godliness ... 1 Timothy 4:7. You will learn gradually.
Stella's advice would have been more appropriate if her husband had special needs and needed to be monitored 24/7. He cannot hire a male Secretary abi he needs to be protected from that one sef?
ReplyDeleteWhat stops you from receiving remuneration from your husband's business? You have a family and you're looking for own money? Meanwhile, that business runs your family. Small time you will say men are not being inclusive. See opportunity, you still dey think wetin no dey.
ReplyDeleteYou want to go and use your energy to build another person's business, while leaving your own to outsiders. What wisdom.
Which other person's business abeg?
DeleteMa'am, I have always loved my independence so if I were to be in your shoes,I would opt for the supermarket in your area.Oga's reason for asking you to join him is a bit sickening to me. Does it mean he doesn't have strong will,self control or principles? For how long can you checkmate his sexual overtures? I always believe in financial independence for women because nobody knows tomorrow. If you join him in business, it will always still be his. So go yours while he does his. That doesn't stop you from still putting eye in his business because there is a wise saying that says ' my own is my own and our own is our own '.
ReplyDeleteRunning your own business will be a good idea .If you put a sales person in the shop you will be sharing the profit with him without knowing. Leave your husband to run his business. If start working with him, I foresee more problems in your marriage
ReplyDeleteTo tell you the truth, most times doing business with your spouse doesn't end in praise.. It will take a lot of displinine and maturity for you guys to stay at home together and stay at work too and not have it affect your relationship some how... If you can, let him do his own thing while you yours.. Beside, the grocery shop will give you more time to take care of the your kids and home...
ReplyDeleteExactly. I remember when I worked with my dh. Sometimes we quarrel at home and also carry the quarrel to the shop and my day will end up being ruined! It affected us and this brought about the see finish syndrome. Those few hours you guys stay apart makes you yearn for him and gives you guys the opportunity to talk about your day to each other. Believe me, these little things makes a relationship flourish.
DeleteNever join him just to keep an eye on him,he should respect you enough to keep to his words after his first mistake.
Hmmmmmm. This is complicated. I wish most of you commenting are in her shoes.
ReplyDeleteI have been there as in... I joined my husband in his business and forsaking mine with the mindset of 'keeping eye on him' but my dear when the storm blowssssss, i receive senses.
My advice...
Discuss it with your husband(very important) having in mind you are going to do second business(apart from your husband's own). Monitor your business and create time for your husband's business as well(family's goal). My 50cent advice.
Grocery.
ReplyDeleteStop telling rev or anybody ur issues
U want to monitor who???
ReplyDeleteWho will cheat will cheat
Please you can do both. You will have to discuss with the woman that you want to rent the shop. She can also give you one or two tips to run the shop. You can put a sales person there and install CCTV cameras the shop. Computers for proper documentation and scanning of items sold. You dont need to present always with the cctv you can monitor what is going on in the shop from any where. You can also join your hubby business as well. Use one atone to kill 2 birds. Also discuss with your hubby if you will be paid salary or if you will be contributing money(capital) for the business. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteMadam please leave that gum body, it has never helped. Following your husband everywhere will only make you feel more stupid when it happens. Please find out from the woman if she is really moving and if she is, make plans to replace her.
ReplyDeleteTake the shop please, proximity to your house is an added advantage.
If you go and sit in your husband's shop from morning till night, will he pay you? When you get home at night, will he help you with chores? And even if you decide to close earlier to run domestic errands, have you not created that space for him do whatever he wants with girls?
So if he was working in an office he would have hired you as his PA to check his dick or what?
Pray about it! Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you on the right decision to make at this time.
ReplyDeleteMadam you can still work with your hubby and run the grocery shop. Get a sales girl/boy, when you are back from work you surpervise and take stock of what has been sold so far, saturdays and sundays you are around to run it. There's nothing like having your own money.
ReplyDeleteSince your hubby has asked you to come help him run the business, you should take the offer. His business is your business too after all you are his help meet and partner. On the other hand, if the shop is really up for grabs, I think you should secure it and get a sales person to manage that end. It just means you will be very busy and must also take the time to educate yourself about running and managing a business. These are two opportunities that have opened up for you so you may not need to continue looking for a job where you will go and answer sir and ma.
ReplyDelete