''think I might at least partially be an asshole in this situation so I'm opening it up for discussion.
Thanksgiving last year my now-husband and I announced our engagement and our intention for a June wedding. A few weeks later my BIL and SIL announced the pregnancy of their first child. My SIL is still very young and she grew up very spoiled. She's still very self-centered but since her pregnancy she has started maturing. Despite our personality differences she and I have grown sort of close. I was genuinely excited about the baby.
My mom wanted me to have a wedding shower so I picked late May. I sent out invites for May 19th. About two weeks before my shower my SIL sent out invites for her baby shower-for May 19th. My husband's relatives who I had invited and who had RSVPed my shower skipped her shower for her's. SIL showed up at my shower in the last hour wearing a white dress, a tiara, and a pink satin sash over her chest.
Husband and I picked June 8th for the wedding. We had everything set up, everything paid for, a church and a minister, reception hall. It was all set and ready to go. About a week before my wedding SIL announces that she scheduled her c-section for-June 8th.
She's not ill nor is the baby at risk, but SIL has a placenta condition that makes vaginal birth dangerous. My MIL and FIL told us that if they had to choose between the first grandchild and our wedding they'd choose the baby. Then his grandparents, his three aunts and two uncles and several cousins all said they wanted to be at the hospital for the baby. This family is incredibly close-knit and babies are a big effing deal for them. Then a bunch of their family friends got wind that these relatives weren't attending and backed out as well.
One afternoon right before the wedding SIL came over and asked if I was upset. I sort of went off on her. I didn't yell or use physical violence but I did cuss. Basically, this is what I said, "yeah, I'm upset. I'm fucking mad. You've been an asshole to me lately and I don't know why. You stole the day of my wedding shower and now you're stealing my wedding day. One day, one day out of the mother-fucking year I want to be the one who's in the spot-light and now I can't. And it fucking hurts. I've put so much work into this goddamned wedding. (Husband) is upset and doesn't want to have a wedding anymore, just the court house. You've stolen my day and the excitement.
One afternoon right before the wedding SIL came over and asked if I was upset. I sort of went off on her. I didn't yell or use physical violence but I did cuss. Basically, this is what I said, "yeah, I'm upset. I'm fucking mad. You've been an asshole to me lately and I don't know why. You stole the day of my wedding shower and now you're stealing my wedding day. One day, one day out of the mother-fucking year I want to be the one who's in the spot-light and now I can't. And it fucking hurts. I've put so much work into this goddamned wedding. (Husband) is upset and doesn't want to have a wedding anymore, just the court house. You've stolen my day and the excitement.
Yeah, I guess you could say I'm fucking upset. Get the fuck out of my house. Good luck with the baby."
SIL safely delivered a baby girl and both are doing well. My husband was still hurting and didn't meet the baby until she was three weeks old. I have yet to meet the baby. My BIL text me recently and called me a "fucking dick" and told me to suck it up and come meet the baby. I'm not mad anymore but I am hurt. I don't blame the baby, I just don't want to see BIL/SIL.
ETA INFO: Wedding was June 8, SIL due date was June 14. BIL said the doc wanted to do the surgery on June 12 but SIL insisted on the 8th. It wasn't an emergency c-section, she had no complications due to the condition and had known it would be a c-section since month 5. I had already informed everyone of my due date before that point. Save the Dates had been sent out before she scheduled her surgery.
ETA INFO: Regarding her shower date and mine; I asked everyone close to me if my dates conflicted their schedules. SIL said the dates both worked for her. Up until she actually sent out her invites she was telling everyone she was throwing her shower the first weekend in June.from reddit.com
SIL safely delivered a baby girl and both are doing well. My husband was still hurting and didn't meet the baby until she was three weeks old. I have yet to meet the baby. My BIL text me recently and called me a "fucking dick" and told me to suck it up and come meet the baby. I'm not mad anymore but I am hurt. I don't blame the baby, I just don't want to see BIL/SIL.
ETA INFO: Wedding was June 8, SIL due date was June 14. BIL said the doc wanted to do the surgery on June 12 but SIL insisted on the 8th. It wasn't an emergency c-section, she had no complications due to the condition and had known it would be a c-section since month 5. I had already informed everyone of my due date before that point. Save the Dates had been sent out before she scheduled her surgery.
ETA INFO: Regarding her shower date and mine; I asked everyone close to me if my dates conflicted their schedules. SIL said the dates both worked for her. Up until she actually sent out her invites she was telling everyone she was throwing her shower the first weekend in June.from reddit.com
*Ah ah this is pure wickedness!!!
SIL from hell
ReplyDeleteYou got it.
DeleteThis is pure witchcraft
DeleteThis story reminds me so much of my sister and my mum (chief supporter).
DeleteMy father gave us his children (we are seven from my mother) eighteen million to share equally and invest in something after graduation because he wants us to do well and that's all he had for us. My mother was the custodian of this money.
I started a small business with my pocket money in school while i was a student and had at least 4milion to my name as at this time (last xmas). My siblings went partying and clubbing with theirs in school.
The 18milliion offer from my Dad was a shocker to them because they expected more.
My mum asked me to forfeit my share so the 18million will go round for the other 6 (3million each) since I was doing small business.
I refused because I denied myself a lot to start that business and needed more money to grow it.
She said I am greedy, evil and a wicked soul and she regrets having such an evil child that wants to outshine her siblings.
Till date she doesn't speak to me and my siblings too. Sometimes I cry and wonder what I did to deserve that denial of my own right. Didn't want to tell my dad so wife no2 (spends more time there) doesn't laugh.
I have told her if i don't get my 2.5million by xmas will report to my dad and don't care the outcome.
Did I do anything bad? She always does this. I am made to always give my siblings money from this tiny business by her occasionally when they lavish their stuffs. She always does this thing to me like ALWAYS
I'm telling you, serious witchcraft!!!
DeleteSorry to say, your mother is a joker. Don’t agree, better collect your money oh!
DeleteCollect your money. Sorry to say your mum is a wicked bitch. No wonder your father married another woman. How can such wickedness come out of a mother towards her child. Collect your money and maintain your lane. They will squander all their portions and come to you for help soon.
DeleteI wouldn't go anywhere if someone called me a dick
Deletedear poster, i wish you will take this advice. kindly call your mum and siblings for meeting, informing them that you for go your share which really hurt you but ensure them that that the last kobo and last scarifies u will even give to dem. no one should think of your side business again cos with this share you are leaving would have gone a long way in ur business. end it well n let dem feel guilty, dat way no one will come back to u in future. God bless ur heart and ur hustle dear
Delete13:52, did u say that no one will come back to her in the future? Says who? Do u imagine that if anyone of her siblings gets caught up in an emergency situation in the future, their mother (and other family members, besides) won't come to her for help? They'll always come with emotional blackmail, so forget that matter first. 19:25, stick to ur guns and collect ur money, 'cos if u don't, it's going into River Niger and u'll all lose it. If u had more responsible siblings, I'd suggest u leave them some of the money (not all, 'cos this is actually a sort of legacy from ur father) but that's not the case. Invest ur money into ur thriving business 'cos las las, they'll all still probably benefit from it.
DeleteCollect your money AND report to your father. Your mother is encouraging your siblings to be useless with this kind of behavior. God forbid
DeleteThanks so much for your replies Anons. I Will insist on my share. I am still here to help if they need me later ; not leaving what rightfully belongs to me. It has lingered for too long. Did I mention I am the FIFTH? That is why it hurts more. If it's just the two after me; no wahala o. But this four older siblings that all they know is party and club; i refuse. My mother spoilt them and wants me to wash away the sins.
DeleteWhen my dad married this 2nd wife was when I knew our 70k pocket money will not be forever because things will change. Did I mention they called me borite* when I advised them then we should save our monies and start something that it never ends well in polygamy? Now Dad has 3more little kids and doesn't send anybody and they want to sink me.
Don’t forget your money oh. In fact, if you call that meeting and tell them that you’ll fire it the money, that is confirmation that you have a lot lot lot more to want to forfeit 2.5M. You’re setting yourself up for more trouble in future
DeleteSIL is such a brat!
ReplyDeleteI never knew oyibo can have witchcraft attitude.
ReplyDeleteThis girl de flyabeg ahn ahn
You have no idea, Africans are just copycats
DeleteMs A is absolutely right. Oyibo shock me at my work place I couldn’t believe it
DeleteAfricans dey learn.
DeleteHaha! They are worse.
DeleteBut all are in the past now why do people always based their happiness on other people,why not thank God that you wedded and you are alive
ReplyDeleteI hope you'd be this "mature" if something or someone watered down your planned big event.
DeleteMtschewwww
DeleteDon’t mind Goke. Na their type no go even allow anyone enter their front in a bank queue
DeleteAre you for real @goke?
DeleteThat will be the end of in-law friendship.
You lack boundaries as person. No?
DeleteYup! SIL is from hell and has spotlight syndrome. These type of people will let hell freeze over before they allow you shine before them.
ReplyDeleteSister in law from hell
ReplyDeleteSIL from the pit of hell!
ReplyDeleteMay God deliver us from them.
My on SILs won’t stay in their husbands house, they would stay in their parents house every goddamn time causing pains for everyone Nd hanging up on me,..I live in their family house but different apartment, my MIL raised witches and also gossips a lot! Says something in your presence and says something else behind you. May God deliver I and hubby so we can leave here...
Work hard and move out of that place even if it’s to a one bedroom flat...peace of mind and living with family is like water and oil..
DeleteThis is wickedness na
ReplyDeleteFor me, I see this life differently.
ReplyDeleteThe wedding is just "a day".
What is important to me is my marriage.
If the people that I invited did not attend, they lose and not me. There was a parable like that that Jesus told Luke 14:15-23.
I've told my wedding story here and I am still very happy the way we made it low keyed.
And you know, when events like this happen, you are able to count who really is your "friend" and become wiser.
I don't have time or space for malice or confrontation with anyone in this life. My peace means a lot to me.
💃💃💃💃💃🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
I get where you are coming from...but to be honest this SIL has being used to and enjoying so much attention from a close knit family and she couldn't bare to share.
DeleteMost of these oyibos do a low keyed event..the people she is referring to ain't even friends per se they are the immediate family members of her husband to be..its like after fixing a wedding day and your would be inlaws who are to welcome you are no were to be found except the man you are getting married to...it kinda hurst..
That said, to organize a low key wedding in the states is a huge fund...so imagine all that going to waste.
Going by this brides story, it means even if they chose a parlour wedding, they still wouldn't attend because they would be in the waiting room expecting the lil one who could have arrived days later...
So technically speaking...his family shelved the groom on both occasions.
These are the in laws who you are supposed to be wedded to, NOT friends. It's different. You cant quarrel with them and you cant fight for the love of their own child with them. You have to tolerate them. This is what makes some families terrible disputes. The family too nor do well.
Deleteend time sil.
ReplyDeleteThis is the type of sister in law I can never be friends with till I die. Nonsense
ReplyDeleteExactly 👋🏿
DeleteSuch a nasty brat.
ReplyDeletechia! this kind thing can pain ehn. i so much love my peace and sanity, na to just dey ignore SIL and mind my business in this situation. If i was the wife who posted this, the wedding will still hold and we would make do with those who turn up for us. Case closed.
ReplyDeleteLol..if you were the wife, the wedding wont hold because the only person from your would be husbands family present is the husband alone. Every other person will be at the hospital waiting for the baby girl.
DeleteAgreed wedding is a day celebration but it's not a crime to have dreams of how that day should be ..
If I were the bride...the groom and I will just elope to a destination with fee friends who really care and send them pictures after all, if something else pops up they still would choose that over their brother. Then of course see the new baby with a gift...
The groom feels betrayed though
The poster should meet the baby, even though she is hurt, and rightly so.
ReplyDeleteThe SIL is not a good person, at all. The bride should just do what’s expected of her as a new family member, so the boat doesn’t rock too hard. She should however watch her back.
This one witchcraft worse pass uromi winch 😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteHahaha. I love this Aproko Queen. Your comments always cracks me up. Proudly Nigerian.
Delete🤣🤣🤣 what do you mean. I am from Uromi
DeleteWorld People!!!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm!!!!
Abeg the SIL is a spoilt brat who just wanted all the attention to herself. The family contributed to her attitude too. Can you imagine after putting all the efforts for a wedding? Abeg, the SIL is wicked. Her attention seeking attitude will not end, trust me. The wife should forgive and hence forth mind her business.
ReplyDeleteSIL reminds me of Rachel in Friends. The way the girl used tears to claim the name Monica had originally chosen for her (i.e. Monica's) future daughter for her own child still irks me till date.
🤣😂😂 God knows I cant stand such people
DeleteNo be only who fly be witch
ReplyDeleteThat her sister-in-law is not just a witch, na entire coven she be. Haba.
ReplyDeleteHer SIL, loves to be in the spotlight. Absolutely wrong!
ReplyDeleteWalahi SIL will dey her dey ni fa! Which kain attitude be that
ReplyDeleteLol..funniest thing is such SIL dey always dey their dey her husband family will continue to enable the behaviour
DeleteWhat a SIL! She should just ignore her and mind her business.
ReplyDeleteWell oh well so what’s happens on every wedding anniversary? Yikes there’s always going to be a birthday party too and sister-in-law would most likely want a lot of attention from the family 😂 the bride will be the evil one for a very long time sad sad
ReplyDeleteLmfao ... saw this in the comment section
ReplyDeleteI would totally go overboard and claim that niece like she was my very own wedding present. I would be sucking double attention my way by insisting that niece just has to be a part of everything on my one year anniversary- how she was just the best present we could ever want as a family and how you love her like your own daughter. The bitch will not be able to deal with you and the daughter getting all the attention and her just being a womb delivery system. Just out narc a narc and laugh your ass off as she gets belittled for complaining how much you love her baby
Exactly what my SIL can do, she wants to know everything happening and be in charge..
ReplyDeleteNawa o. This is terrible
ReplyDeleteThe family is more horrible than the SIL
ReplyDeleteIf she did it one time and they went against her, she would have stopped
This SIL na wicked person
ReplyDeletecrazy sil
ReplyDeleteThe family is just stupid abeg. So if SIL gives birth in the morning and they meet the baby in the night after the wedding, wetin go happen?
ReplyDeleteAbi? The in-laws didn't do right.
DeleteOr better still, share themselves to attend to the two events. The family members didn't try at all.
DeleteB V that mum does not want to give how own share of the money, please make sure you collect your money from her. Don't allow her negative words to ever make you cry. Don't allow her to manipulate you. Be strong and ignore he you will be fine. For the poster you must learn to ignore that sister in-law completely. Make it a point of duty to deny her the attention she is seeking. All the best.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I would move far away from all of them. She can star in her own show where she is and I can star in mine somewhere else.
ReplyDelete