STAND ALONE NARRATIVE:
TO RELOCATE OR STAY:
Hello Stella I'm the lady that wrote you some time last year about my husband's gambling habit when i was pregnant. He never stopped gambling and I have birthed my baby to the glory of God.
Hello Stella I'm the lady that wrote you some time last year about my husband's gambling habit when i was pregnant. He never stopped gambling and I have birthed my baby to the glory of God.
I have a little issue worrying me,I got a federal job but is in the East at a University,but the issue now is if i should relocate to the East with my baby cos
I don't know if it is a good decision knowing that my marriage is just two years...
Note that my husband's business is not doing so good,please Stella and my beloved bv's advice me on what to do.
Instead of you to relocate,you want to throw this Opportunity to the wind because of a jobless man who gambles away all his money whenever it comes in...OK nau,siddon there with am make una dey look each other like face me i face you rooms...
Please carry your baby go start work.
ReplyDeleteYour husband will be fine n can visit, u will still be married if d marriage crashing is your fear.
N/B don't give him money for gambling.
@Blackey
DeleteWawu, make she offload?
😯😯😯😯😯😯
Your second point, not giving him money for
gambling na true yarns.
God is this a question again?
DeleteU hav a baby n ur husband gambles! Do u kno how many people are looking for govt job including me?
Pls dnt ask questions again! Park up n MOVE!
Abi u want ur baby to suffer?
Poster you better move, a woman in my street got a lecturing job outside lagos, in fact Enugu to be precise, she went with her kids and comes during holidays to see her hubby,i'm very sure the man also travels to visit her and this is a man who is a landlord and he had a good business.
DeleteMy dear if this woman whose husband is well to do can how much more you that your husband gambles and his business is not doing well?
If care is not taken, he might even use what is left off the business to gamble then what will be the fate of you and your baby. My dear carry your kaya and go to east.
Poster please sell me your job.
DeleteBlackberry, tess-baby and Madam B, I hope this poster takes your advice. She needs to run to that job, not walk.
DeleteNawa for women oo. Read Stella's red pen over and over!!! Make e enter your brain. 2 yrs marriage because u wana come back after 5 years with another Chronicle. Mtschewwww
ReplyDeleteSit down there o. So you think you need us to tell you what to do?
ReplyDeleteCome close make I slap your face. ✋
You didnt state your current job for us to compare to the federal job. Are you using this "federal job" as a ticket outta your marriage? What does your husband say about you relocating with his new born?
ReplyDeleteI cant give advice based on the little details youve dropped.
Always have this at the back of your mind, as a woman....your job first, then a man. Don't ever place a man above your means of livelihood. Sort your self out and ask yourself this question, if the table were turned will your man leave or stay behind? Having a job is more important than marriage, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Haven't you read stories of women who rely on men or stopped working because they didn't want to lose the marriage, do you know what happened to them at the end? The pain, humiliation, battery they go through.
ReplyDeleteYes, some women are blessed that without a job the man takes care of everything, gets them a helper and still pampers them but your husband's case is a different matter on his own entirely.
But if you don't want the job because you don't want to lose your marriage, please send the info to tell so others who live around the area can be referred and get employed. Thank you!
*Send the info to stella* I meant to write. Autocorrect chaii
DeleteYou assume every man will just clap for you as you carry his baby to wherever you see as greener grass abi?
DeleteI can bet youre not married, thats why you think its same as relationship.
Anonymous 15:43you are talking about responsible men, men that play their God given role as a Provider and Protector not men like the Posters Husband.
DeletePoster approach your hubby with respect, explain how much it means to you and show him a worked out plan of how you all gonna adjust pending when/if he decides to come join you.
Poster there’s nothing like having your own money when your hubby isn’t responsible. Follow your instinct though or seek guidance from your folks-mom
If the man has gotten that job instead, won't he go over there for greener pastures and leave his beloved baby behind for his wife and come home to check on them when he has time? What's the difference between that and what the woman is doing if she accepts the job? She is still within Nigeria. What about men who go outside of Nigeria for greener pastures and visits every now and then?
DeleteIs it not the same federal jobs that I keep hearing people begging for all the time and she got it easily, that should tell you she already has everything properly put in place for her when she eventually gets to that state, including the people she intends to stay with, So, please what are you saying? Oh! I have forgotten it is marriage we are talking about not a mere relationship especially in a country like Nigeria, where it is better to be married yet suffering and starving than be comfortable and single.
FYI, I am married and I have a very good Job.
Madam dont miss this opportunity of working in a good place ooooo.
ReplyDeleteMadam this is very simple, talk to your husband and relocate with your family.
ReplyDeleteIf he refuses to come along with you, make an agreement or some form of arrangements with him on how he can visit you and the kids.
Don't let this job opportunity pass you by.
Some men are so stupid and useless, they marry a good woman and they'll be playing gamble with her. If your husband was not a gambler and if he was living up to his responsibilities, there would have been no need of you finding a job far away talk less of relocating.
And please, do not argue with him, don't insult him and do not fight him.
Please poster, grab this lifetime opportunity and do not mess up your future and that of your kids.
I wish you the best and safety.
Poster this advice here is great. Read, analyse, pray and apply that which you can to your life.
DeleteIt is well.
Don’t ever make the mistake of rejecting a job offer cos of marriage.
ReplyDeleteSomeone close to me made that mistake and she’s suffering terribly for it now. Her husband abandoned her and their kids and is no where to be found.
That’s your job, please keep it.
Good advice here.
DeletePoster suffer no dey tire you??
ReplyDeletebetter leave that problematic situation called marriage and relocate.
for better for worse na scam. it is not applied for a spouse that has bad habit.
Madam please listen to Stella. If your husband gets a job somewhere else today he will take it. Pls do not let this opportunity pass you. My friend is married for 2 years and still TTC ing she got a job in Lagos that will pay her 105k she took the job. Not minding that she is ttcing. Take the job.
ReplyDeleteWhere's her husband based?
Deletewhy do you want to know, do u want to snatch him??
DeleteMadam poster, you better relocate. Your husband can be visiting. Don't miss this opportunity.
ReplyDelete"For better for worse, in sickness and in health
ReplyDeleteuntil death do us part"
It is not difficult to look a man in the eye and chant
all these incantations but so easy offload him? And the REAL reason could
be "my husband's business is not doing so well at the moment"
That is if we want the TRUTH.
Anyway, I did not chant the above -by choice anyway. But I
hold marriage to a great sacredness just like God does. If
this man is "swimming in money and spoils you silly" even with all
the gambling, will you consider leaving?
This is ajuju o 😯😯
Yes, greed (like in this case; habitual gambling), sexual immorality and co are
considered idolatry:Col. 3:5 . . . But only you know the real reason
you want to leave this man whether it is his failing business or his
gambling habit. It is just like only you knew the real reason why you married
him in spite of his gambling habits.
Are you employed, can you take care of this baby without stretching your hands
to him?
Ndi uta (arrow shooter's) ngwanu
I used to jump your posts.
DeleteI thought you'll surprise me but na. Still senseless.
If the man was responsible do you think she'll be asking this?.
You did not see a failing gambler to caution.
Abi gambling is no longer a sin?
It's a woman who a stupid man has turned to breadwinner that you saw to bash.
Poster, please move,.
He can join you guys as babysitter if he wants.
Believe me, when he makes money again, his gambling will start off where it stopped.
Hian!ANG,did we read the same chronicle?Cos the poster up there got a job in the East and is worried about a long distance arrangement so early in her marriage.Where did she say she wanted to leave her husband?
Delete@16:36
DeleteYou chose what to understand
I quoted a Scripture Col. 3:5 and made it clear that
GAMBLING/GREED IS IDOLATRY
Do you know what that means?
I asked the woman who posted chronicle to us (the man did not post, so "bashing" him is
irrelevant). I asked this woman questions of conscience, it is left for her to judge herself and
make her choice.
@Kamikaze suicide squad
Noted. Those who wrote before me were telling her to "leave".
Leaving entails a lot. We ladies are fickle. If someone gives her the
attention/perfection she craves for out there, she will remember all these
comments. Leaving to go elsewhere should be in agreement with her husband.
He is a gambler but still her husband.
Anon 16:36 I thought it was only me that jumps. She’s low-key misogynist, perpetually bashing women. Many families live apart because of their job circumstances and are still happy but no, madam judgina will start haranguing.
Delete@Anon 16:36 and @Kamikaze don't bother with ANG.
DeleteANG you are just being self-righteous.
You should study more to show yourself approved unto God, a workman who need not be ashamed but rightly diving the word of truth.
There is no one-size fits all in life issues or marriage.
Yes, God's word is the standard and manual for life. One must prayerfully seek God and wisely apply God's word....because the "letter killeth but the Spirit giveth life."
Every intent of God's word is good and based on his love for mankind. The word of God is truth and seeks/supports greater good.
They must not die in hunger and penury while the husband gambles away his floundering business.
Poster, you need this job. Discuss it with your husband and if he does not agree, still go for the job.
It could be that God wants to use this job to uplift you and your husband.
Who knows, he might even relocate with you now or join you with time. Your baby needs good food and healthcare, such things cannot be put on hold.
Your husband will thank you later.
@18:37
Delete"haranguing"
Oyibo k' isuru
at least you no "jump pass" today (or any other day)
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@18:51
DeleteYOu ended up saying the same thing I said above. Let me paste it for you;
"Leaving to go elsewhere should be in agreement with her husband"
Did you see that?
If I am self-righteous like you claim, does it mean that both of us saying same things are
self righteous?
Nne I covet your prayers to be delivered from being self righteous. Will you
please fast and pray for your sister even if it is for one day??
Take the job offer... Do it for a while then you can do a transfer back to your husband's location, since its a federal govt job. You would be fine .
ReplyDeleteTake kiss dear. Poster take this advice.
DeleteDont worry, when his business picks up again and gambling starts once more, your eye go clear
ReplyDeleteMadam, if you take this job and relocate, just know your marriage has ended.
ReplyDeleteI wish u told us the salary difference with ur present job, and if ur husband is will to quit gambling, 2yrs is too early to start living seperately, plus ur current marital problems.
Lmaooo. When is the right time biko.
DeleteAfter how many years???.
Hope you'll send her school fees when September comes
Since you have been blessed with a gambler as a husband, know that your position in the marriage has changed to the major bread winner. As a bread winner, most decision regarding welfare is solely your duty. You can choose to stay with him and end up scrimping when he can't play his role or relocate and hope he comes around to visit. Na only prick you go miss but why should you miss a useless prick?
ReplyDeleteChop 1milla kizzez
DeleteAbeg anon 16.03, these are for you - 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
DeletePls go and do the job. there's is nothing like young marriage or old marriage, marriage is marriage and you need that money to keep it. Should in case you decided not to go, plssss give me the job I can do it. Tenkiu
ReplyDeleteMadam please take the job. It's a federal government job. Don't let this opportunity waste.
ReplyDeletePoster please your next email to Stella should be how you’re well settled in your new job and your child is well adjusted in your new environment. .
ReplyDeleteAs a woman your priority should be your children. Make decisions that may not be easy but are guaranteed to give your child a better chance at life.
If your husband didn’t have the gambling addiction and wasn’t misbehaving then I may have been more diplomatic in my advice. But the future of your family isn’t secure if you wait on him. You’ll also resent him for making you lose the job opportunity leading to a toxic and broke environment for your kids.
I wish you the best as you pack your bags and relocate to the east. If he’s not doing anything tangible then he can follow you. If he tables were turned he won’t even consider your feelings and that’s the bitter truth because I’m his kind he’s doing what’s best for his family. Stay woke sister!
Ivannah
Madam I beg you with everything i hold dear please relocate to the East and start your FEDERAL JOB asap. Your husband can join you if he wants or visit you anytime he is free. Unless you can not do without his d*ck for a day or two . Good luck
ReplyDeletePoster please your next email to Stella should be how you’re well settled in your new job and your child is well adjusted in your new environment. .
ReplyDeleteAs a woman your priority should be your children. Make decisions that may not be easy but are guaranteed to give your child a better chance at life.
If your husband didn’t have the gambling addiction and wasn’t misbehaving then I may have been more diplomatic in my advice. But the future of your family isn’t secure if you wait on him. You’ll also resent him for making you lose the job opportunity leading to a toxic and broke environment for your kids.
I wish you the best as you pack your bags and relocate to the east. If he’s not doing anything tangible then he can follow you. If he tables were turned he won’t even consider your feelings and that’s the bitter truth because in his mind he’s doing what’s best for his family. Stay woke sister!
Ivannah
Poster, please listen to this advice given by anon 17.32. Gambling is a serious addiction. Your own case is not of the standard couple who may be living apart.
DeleteCongrats on the new baby. Take the job. He will likely cheat because of the distance, be prepared. You have 2 things that some married women are desperately praying for. A federal government job and a baby. Add one more baby and rest.
ReplyDeleteRelocate ASAP. Let him join you and start his business there.
ReplyDeleteI don't give a fuck what you do for yourself, but please do right by that child you brought into this world.
ReplyDeleteMadam relocate with your baby, you need this job to take care of yourself and your baby. Free your husband for now, make money. You want to turn into his pouncing bag?
ReplyDeletePoster, you haven't said what's really worrying you and I think I know what it is.
ReplyDeleteYou know you dont want to be in the marriage anymore and you see this job as a way to make a clean break but you also don't want to be seen as the one who abandoned the marriage. You're suffering from a case of what will people say babe and you need to let it go.
You know this is a better opportunity for you and life with your husband is bleak or uncertain at the most.
Give yourself permission to live your life the way you see fit to do.
It is because his business is not doing so good that you should relocate so that you can reduce and ease his burden. The distance will actually help clear his eyes.....but above all from one who has been down this road....I made the mistake of not relocating and it killed my career....Pls do not make the same mistake. Relocate and grow your career. Your children will thank you for it.
ReplyDeleteI recollect when I wanted to join this my present company my husband kicked against for some reasons that are not tenable. Thank God I didn't listen to him.
ReplyDeleteWhen we newly get married I obeyed 100%, it made me loose so many opportunities that I still regret till tomorrow. You better wise up and build your career now when you are still young.
don't accept the job stay there till he gambles you and your daughter away...stay married by fire by force
ReplyDelete