Imagine celebrating a divorce with the same person you celebrated a Marriage with 13 years before?.And then giving tips on how to steer others away from the mistakes you both made.....
This is a must read!!!!
*Edited: This post is NOT meant to advocate divorce, nor is it to celebrate our failures in our marriage. We choose to celebrate what good came of it and we hope others can also learn from our mistakes BEFORE marriage or divorce...
--
It's official. Yesterday our divorce was finalized. After our court hearing we had lunch together, ringing in our next season of life as friends and co-parents.
As we reflected on our 13 years of marriage, together we came up with 5 marital lessons we learned along the way:
1) Take the time to REALLY get to know yourself, your purpose, your vision, your priorities, and your core values before committing yourself to someone else for life. Get clear on your non-negotiables and on your deal breakers before saying "I Do". Otherwise, your newfound vision can create division if it's not in alignment.
2) Even if you believe you heard from God, there's no need to rush to the altar. Take your time and enjoy the process of courtship, or you'll find yourself getting to know each other after you're already married.
3) Before getting married, make sure your priorities are compatible and don't ignore core value differences. While marriage takes compromise, there are some things that can't be compromised. Eventually, either you'll try to be someone you're not, or you'll try to change the other person into someone they're not and it won't work.
4) Marriage takes work. Don't underestimate the amount of work that it takes to build a strong marriage. Go to marriage seminars together before getting married, learn what it really takes, and make sure you're both willing to put in the work together. If you don't grow together you're gonna grow apart.
5) Hindsight is 20/20. We may not be able to change the past, but what we can do is make the best of our current situation and of the future, out of love and respect for ourselves and for our son. Life doesn't always work out exactly how we planned, but God can still get the glory from our story.
We truly believe all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. God can still make something Good out of our situation. We are both proud of the life we built together over the past 13 years. And through this marriage the most wonderful miracle was born, Jacob Victorious Bell. And for that we will always be grateful.
So here's to new seasons, fresh starts, and new normals. ππ½
(Btw, no need to choose sides. You can love us both equally!! π)
*Edited: This post is NOT meant to advocate divorce, nor is it to celebrate our failures in our marriage. We choose to celebrate what good came of it and we hope others can also learn from our mistakes BEFORE marriage or divorce...
--
It's official. Yesterday our divorce was finalized. After our court hearing we had lunch together, ringing in our next season of life as friends and co-parents.
As we reflected on our 13 years of marriage, together we came up with 5 marital lessons we learned along the way:
1) Take the time to REALLY get to know yourself, your purpose, your vision, your priorities, and your core values before committing yourself to someone else for life. Get clear on your non-negotiables and on your deal breakers before saying "I Do". Otherwise, your newfound vision can create division if it's not in alignment.
2) Even if you believe you heard from God, there's no need to rush to the altar. Take your time and enjoy the process of courtship, or you'll find yourself getting to know each other after you're already married.
3) Before getting married, make sure your priorities are compatible and don't ignore core value differences. While marriage takes compromise, there are some things that can't be compromised. Eventually, either you'll try to be someone you're not, or you'll try to change the other person into someone they're not and it won't work.
4) Marriage takes work. Don't underestimate the amount of work that it takes to build a strong marriage. Go to marriage seminars together before getting married, learn what it really takes, and make sure you're both willing to put in the work together. If you don't grow together you're gonna grow apart.
5) Hindsight is 20/20. We may not be able to change the past, but what we can do is make the best of our current situation and of the future, out of love and respect for ourselves and for our son. Life doesn't always work out exactly how we planned, but God can still get the glory from our story.
We truly believe all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. God can still make something Good out of our situation. We are both proud of the life we built together over the past 13 years. And through this marriage the most wonderful miracle was born, Jacob Victorious Bell. And for that we will always be grateful.
So here's to new seasons, fresh starts, and new normals. ππ½
(Btw, no need to choose sides. You can love us both equally!! π)
Nice. See how happy they are. But all the same marriage is sweet when you marry your Gods given husband/wife
ReplyDeleteππΌ
DeleteTrue @ Yoriyori
DeleteHmmmmmm, new one indeed
ReplyDeleteLove this. As a married woman, I fully agree with them. There are core values husband and I disagree on, how the Nigerian upbringing in us makes us swallow it. Sometimes I see myself thinking about separation.
ReplyDeleteMonday motivation.
ReplyDeleteAbove the woman looks so much happier than the man.
ReplyDeleteThis could be me and my ex but i can't stand his narcissistic ass. π
ReplyDeleteGirl, obviously you dunno you got the same trait too.
DeleteYour comments here give you away.
You've got narcissistic tendencies but you choose to call it confidence, good!
Coming from you? wow!
DeleteEasy @Prexian. He acts as he knows best. He doesnt know better.
DeleteYou swear you know me. Lol
DeleteLooool Perxian
DeleteNdi ara na ayi plenty o...
ReplyDeleteNaija girls don dey offload horsebands tey tey.
Dude don see persin wey go give am free fork and abroad papers
Sisi don see abroad ATM in dollars
They don't mind how the creator feels -his heartbreaks, his pain...
All they see are abroad, fork and monies . . .
Tufiakwa ...
Ndi aburu onu
π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π’π’π’π’
ANG are we talking about the same post?
DeleteWhat is this one on about again?
DeleteThis thing you vommitted here, i'm trying to understand how it relates to the post.
Be honest, re you on drugs?
Lol @ 15.27.
DeleteWhy so much angst? Who took your heart and left an empty casing there? It is well with you.
DeleteI love this couple. Sorry ex couple. They made peace with their reality. They told themselves the truth, no need to be bitter. The last statement is funny though.
ReplyDeleteThis marriage thing nawa!
I hate divorce.
ReplyDeleteGod hates divorce Mal. 2:16
DeleteA careful study of your comments on this blog betrays your statement of hating divorce. I don't think you hate divorce. Rather you hate seeing wives in marriages where the husband acts right. You hate seeing wives who have the guts to walk away from abusive marriages. And now you hate seeing couples who are happily divorced hence the 'I hate divorce' speech (Stella's chicken side eyes).
DeleteApt πππ @ Anon 15:12
Delete@15:12,your stupid comment shows how jobless and frustrated you are.
DeleteKeep monitoring my comments,na you go tire.And yes,I hate divorce!
She hates happy people. She is even more suspicious of seemingly happy couples.
DeleteAnd your comments filled with the wisdom of ages show how gainfully employed and fulfilling your life is? And no you don't hate divorce! You just hate the idea that someone somewhere can be happily divorced ππππ
DeleteNa you go tire.
God hates divorce but still loves the divorced. He hates sin but still loves the sinner.
DeleteThe veteran has obviously caused a lot of divorce and disunity in homes. Afi "I hate divorce" Deceit of the highest Order
DeleteEnter your comment...strange abeg..divorce that can make someone unhappy
ReplyDeleteGod doesn't hate divorced people, but he hates divorce.
ReplyDeleteSometimes what some marriages need is time apart to reassess and do a revaluation on themselves. When you're in each others face for so long, same routine, environment, same, same, same, it gets boring and "see finish" will enter. Time apart alone, change of environment etc will help rekindle the fire, and the desire to get back together again.
ReplyDeletelessons learnt...if you were truly working in love the God way you could have still stopped the divorce.. its easy to throw scripture around but are you really obeying God and walking the talk? marriage is serious business and unless you do it Gods way we will continue to see divorce even among some so called bible quoting Christians smh
ReplyDeleteSomeone should send this post to Tonto dike...she needs to see how adults divorce and move on in peace.
ReplyDeleteLEPπ
Good for them
ReplyDeleteThe man is a nice man. The woman already has a plan B guy waiting or wants to have fun and be a THOT. Reality will heat soon & they will get in their feelings. I may be wrong.
ReplyDeletePJ
*hit
DeleteI agree with you
DeleteGuess what, for this to be made public on a celebrative note, indicates the woman rang the divorce bell, hence the glow on her face and gloom on the man's face. If it was vice versa, headlines will be reading π₯π₯π₯
ReplyDeleteThat woman has seen another man servicing her real good. Women are so unpredictable. As a nice man, he had to allow her have her way. Incase she decides to come back, please do not take her back oooo
ReplyDeleteDear Alpha Nigerian Male,
DeleteDream on
I don't usually moved with such testimony cos the secret behind the divorce wasn't discussed so I advice individual shld do wat is right to make his/her home a place his/her partner will always want to stay. perhaps they discovered their next baby could be SS but it wasn't discussed. so pls don't celebrate them rather think deep cos 13 years is not a small years to be wasted
ReplyDeleteThe fact that the reasons behind the divorce wasnt discussed makes it difficult to place what lessons to learn as a man or woman, but the points made is quite clear but i see them coming back after this break sha
ReplyDelete