Na wah!!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SUSPICIOUS FRIEND
Please feel free to send it in as a chronicle, would also like the opinions of some BVS that may have had a similar experience or an idea somewhat...
I visited a couple last night, after a long while, wifey is my friend. I could feel the distant attitude towards me... It was a celebration, they were a few other family/friends around. They received more attention than I got, yet I was invited...
I'm good friends with the hubby too.. He was more accommodating and hospitable, also seemed to have an understanding, that out of sight ain't really out of mind... He sent out the invites to close friends, to celebrate wifey. It was to be a surprise...
I've always given my married friends their space, to enjoy matrimony, though I try to make myself available when they need me,and even attend any event they invite me to... It is not a priding something though, just that when a woman gets married and more importantly, start having kids, there's this disconnect somewhat. Many things i'm not able to relate to, probably because I haven't had such experience... In some cases, when married women hang a lot with their single friends and they someday exhibit a character, that their spouses find strange, they may use it against them, especially the manipulative ones...
When I was about leaving, I hugged the hubby in front of the people there, wifey walked in and stood there, giving off this look, like she wasn't comfortable with it, so I quickly drew back. This was the norm for whenever I visited, just didn't understand why I felt a different vibe this time... I met her hubby outside when I got there and was trying to park, we walked in together.. I talked briefly about something official and didn't finish when my friend, his wifey walked to welcome me, and receive the gift I bought her. So I followed him into the kitchen to give him a conclusion of it, he wasn't alone there, all the while, still had wifey following me around.
The whole thing honestly felt strange, like she was suspecting I was up to something else.. This is a couple that used to ask me to come spend the weekends with them in their early years. Now i'm wondering, would it have felt this way if I had honored any of those invites?!
Hopefully, I'm the one over thinking it, not that it is exactly what it looks like. When she walked me out to my car, told her I was gon let them know when I got home, as she expressed some concern about my state to drive, considering I had downed almost a whole bottle of red wine.. I sent a text that wasn't acknowledged...
Hopefully, I'm the one over thinking it, not that it is exactly what it looks like. When she walked me out to my car, told her I was gon let them know when I got home, as she expressed some concern about my state to drive, considering I had downed almost a whole bottle of red wine.. I sent a text that wasn't acknowledged...
*Please give her space,she probably thinks you wanna snatch her man....lol
Or is there something bout you that she knows that makes her behave like this`?
I think you should even avoid going to their house no matter what. How can she be this suspicious of you? Not cool.
ReplyDeleteProbably the husband praises you or say nice things about you to his and that makes her feel anything could be going on
Deletefirst of all, don't drink and drive. "downed a bottle of wine" is the reason my friend's sister is dead today. she was hit by a drunk driver at the age of 20, cutting her life short and leaving her family in mourning. if there's anything you learn from this comment section, let it be this. don't use your foolishness to end someone's life.
Deletenumber 2, the wife is sending you a clear message so please listen to it and act accordingly.
Her hubby probably talks a lot about you and she is beginning to get suspicious. I can totally relate to how you feel, my hubby's friend admires and praises me a lot in front of his wife. If my hubby didn't understand he would have been suspicious too considering we have a lot in common. Just give her space.
DeleteThis comment deserves a million likes. Thank you.
DeleteBehave like an adult and ask her. Use your words!
DeleteMaybe her husband no pure n she doesn't trust him or his motives around u.
ReplyDeleteYou why were u following the man around hosting n hugging? 😁
@Blackey
DeleteAjuju n' ese okwu?
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
Okwu na abuo...hahahaha
DeleteDont honour future invites. Dont text, call or visit.
ReplyDeleteStay on your lane.
Ler them wonder why you kwa are distance.... no he only them sabi form distance...
she's your friend, simply speak to her. I hate when friends can't talk to each other, it helps you guys move on and even discuss more intimate things, except you are not that close
DeleteIt was her husband that invited you and not your friend? Besides none of my female friends should hug my husband abeg.
ReplyDeleteWhy shouldn't they?
Deleteis like you no marry for ur former life? I pray you will not die on top husband matter. local champion like u
DeleteStay on ur line, her attitude shows you are not well come in her home.
DeleteBut you go hug another persin husband?
DeleteRead well... she said she's good friends with the husband too and she normally hugs them before leaving so why was the wife, her friend, giving her bad vibes?
DeleteThe way this poster is writing certain things in detail seems fishy to me, pls how can you tell what is on somebody else's mind, na conscience dey judge you so, if you feel uncomfortable in your friends presence, without a quarell or fight then keep your distance.
ReplyDeleteBe smart now
DeleteYou can tell if someone is treating you differently even if the person doesn’t say anything
Read well, It was a surprise by the husband so he invited the people. And I don’t see what’s wrong with my friends hugging the husband. I guess he’s a dog and the wife just found out ( let me think like u guys)
DeleteAnon, u are right d guy is probably igboro(sleeping with a lot of girls). True that, d wife just found out and is not comfortable with her hubby around females. This happened to me recently, my hubby was igboro I didnt knw all this while after 10years of marriage. I found out he has slept with few of my friends and plenty girls out there. So any time I see him around females I'm extra alert. This doesn't happen before I let him be not trying to jealousy but now my jealousy is on d scale of 10. This guy is a pretender, I saw alot of signs but ignored it, I was this type of person that was let a man have his space as long as he is not doing it outside but comes home to do it with me. My nose was yimuing me this guy abused it he was hostile to me for 3 months he won't touch me he will say he is tired d high blood medication was making him weak not knowing he is destroying pussies out there. I resulted to watching porn and masturbating a d having vaginal orgasm and clitorial orgasm because I love my man I didn't want to cheat on me. He will say I'm not good in bed praising his ex. Behold and below this guy is not a good fuck in bed but the Jesus in me is just restraining and d luv I have 4 this sadistical son of a B**** that is not making me do it. I have found out being a good cook n wife, doesn't make a fool like this not cheat. I'm beautiful but this guy will fuck anything.....
DeleteMaybe hubby told her he finds you hot. Anyway, dey your dey abi is it dey your lane?
ReplyDeleteWhen next you’re invited, send a gift over and tell them you’re busy. Also don’t go around giving married men “full frontal hugs” before you’d dis-stabilize someone’s husband in front of people. You seem carefree, you followed him into the kitchen lol, please don’t do that next time. Another woman’s kitchen o
Also if someone I’m close to follows me around like I’m about to open their pot and steal meat, I’d jokingly say “wetin happen? Why you dey follow me around? Abi I shit for body?”
Just stop over thinking it or ask her if you can get your mind off it.
*can’t.
DeletePoster stay your lane abeg.
DeleteOnce a friend of mine gets married whether man or woman, I zap. I no want stories at all. Once before, I had 2 very good friends who later married themselves. I was there when things were bad and contributed my little quota. Another friend of the guy wanted to date me and I declined, this guy went to poison the lady's mind that I'm after her husband. She didn't ask me but started snubbing me only for another of their friend to angrily confront me when I went for naming. I felt I should die on that day. Apparently the woman complained to other friends and left me out.
She realised her mistake and tried to make up but I refused o. Scandals involving a couple and a single friend doesn't always end in favour of the single so pls stay away from all of them.
If your friendship means much to you, call her up or send a message asking why she made you feel 'somewhat'. If you are like me wey no send person so far as my conscience clear, delete that frienship biko. Peace of mind is non negotiable.
ReplyDeleteDont do this.u may end up fooling yourself
DeleteGive her space.if she asks you then u open up
You shak one bottle of red kai, kai;
ReplyDeleteyou be aboki nyarinya?
Ajuju n' ese okwu?
😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲'
That wifey needs to offload you quick quick. Na so una dey seduce and snatch o. Especially if you
been get big boobies and those una eyes wey una sabi wetin una dey rob put.
once you look at horseband, come hug am, im go confuse come dey do like
mkpi/egefu!
Make you carry yasef commot for that marriage o.
🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔
Why u dey always type nonsense? Ajuju
Delete@19:31
DeleteEeehhhhhh?
Congrats o
So them do ya wine carrying and ya name
come change to Nonsense?
E good o.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You said she is your friend,but from your narrative,her husband came into a picture a lot more than she did.Following you around you say?Is she not supposed to be where you are because you are her friend?I'm not saying you have any evil intent,but we shouldnt overstep boundaries abeg.Did you hug her while leaving?why hug her husband?Please just stay away from them since she doesnt trust you.
ReplyDeleteAsin ehnn. And drank one bottle of red wine on top.
DeleteHow are you sure you didn't hug him four to long?.
You were high, you must have done one our two things.
On the other hand, when y'all were friends, did you tell her you sleep around?.
Finally, maybe her husband had slept with another of her friends, and she doesnt want stories that tickle
insecure women you both. Shes q stronger woman than you lot.
Deleteyou sef dont know where to draw the line. How u go dey hug person husband? nah, pls give them space.
ReplyDeleteSho
DeleteI hug all my friends husbands
My parents and all their spouses hug
where do y’all get these rules
That na you na, i dont hug any friends husband biko. dont want anyone looking at me somehow.
DeleteLevel has changed so leave them alone and look for singles like yourself otherwise you wulw soon receive insult.married women are always concern about their single friend befriending their husband because of insecurity and side chick issue so my advice is please keep distance and respevr yourself .You will soon understand when you are married
ReplyDeleteIt maybe a pastor told her to beware of one friend so she narrowed it to you.again it maybe hubby has been cheating so she is suspecting anything.
ReplyDeleteFor me I dont know why u will hug your friends hubby in nigeria.not abroad where their mentality is different.i for one I will not like it.to be frank
Even abroad abeg.
DeleteI’m married and I hugged a married male friend to say hello innocently. Come and see wahala and rumours, even the man had his own agenda.
Abeg, story is long, maybe I should send in my own chronicle.
Some ladies will know exactly what they are doing and be claiming innocent.Women have an amazing instinct..maybe her husband likes you and she knows it and you are "innocently" leading him on by being too friendly towards him.Please continue staying away like uve always done and if you have to visit,please gist with your friend and leave her husband alone.Very simple!
ReplyDeleteYou sound very insecure for a woman.
DeleteLEP 😛
Please do not drive after drinking.
ReplyDeleteStay away from them : hubby and wifey. You’d be doing yourself a whole lot of good. You are not overthinking anything, she suspects you might be up to no good. Save yourself silly accusations tomorrow and stay away. Do not call/text any of them. Cut them off!
ReplyDeletebest advice
DeleteI think it has a lot more to do with the husband than with you.
ReplyDeleteHe probably cheated and now she doesn't trust him around women causing her to project her insecurities on you.
Like Stella said, give them space but don't blank her out. She could be going through something in her marriage. 🤷♀️
Very true. Poster just wish them well and keep your distance. If you're sure you did nothing wrong, then it's most likely that hubby cheated or she saw something on his phone and is suspecting her single friends
DeleteLike Beyonce and Nicole curran or however it's spelt..😄..
DeleteI guess u are a suspect, drink water n mind ur business, so as to flush out those negative thoughts off ur mind.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she is feeling insecure with the way you relate with her husband. Is either she dont trust her husband when it comes to girls or she dont trust you maybe because of your lifestyle. Just check well.
ReplyDeleteAunty give her space nah
ReplyDeleteProbably her husband recently cheated on her so she is being wary of every single lady.
Just stay on your lanlane for now. Even if they invite u for something just send a text and gift.
She's just being a turd. Keep away from her. People who act like this never see an actual threat even if it's under their nose.
ReplyDeletePoster you now mind your business sho.. I don't blame her the rate of desperation some ladies have eehh..Please dear stay on your lane.
ReplyDeleteMarried women see single as DEVILS. Pls keep off. Welcome to our gwe Whatsapp group
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't want you close to her husband...
ReplyDeleteWatch bvs come for you
Me, as soon as my friends are married, I avoid them like the plague. I don't want stories that touch. I send them gifts and love them from afar but I don't visit at all. Some married women can be very insecure and are quick to blame everyone for their adulterous horsebands behaviour. Madam, stay in your lane and face your front.
ReplyDeleteFull hug, or a partial side hug? These things count, I don't think anyone will enjoy seeing her husband give a full hug to someone though.
ReplyDeleteMy advice will be - don't ignore your instincts. Give even more space than you had given them earlier. I believe if you noticed this from this event, its because the way you were treated is very different from how you both used to relate. You never can tell what people have in mind. It could be that she sees you as a threat based on something her husband had said, or based on some insecurity she has, which you remind her off (e.g you may be fairer, have bigger boobs, align more with what her hubby likes physically or otherwise, etc); just give her space.
If she values your friendship, she will try to draw close again; if she is perfectly okay with the space given, then truly she wants to keep you at bay and you should respect that.
Please stay away from them; Husband and Wife.. Stop giving hugs to other people's husbands, even if you guys were/are friends.
ReplyDeleteWhen next you are invited claim busy. Most of my friends kept their distance after they got married and the remaining few left when my ex and i didn't get married. Friendship isn't by force. Some of us meet recently for an occasion and they were like how far babe, you never marry? i felt bad, cos they got seats and sat together, i sat with strangers but its all good. Poster learn to stay away, that's what the woman wants. Make other friends.
For real??? As per married women's club? Kwakwakwa. Na wa for Nigerian women. You really don't need many friends in this life.
DeleteThey were never your friends.
DeleteI have people like that. I cut them off myself.
Meanwhile, the people I call friends are still in my corner till today.
Even though I'm married and they are not.
Infact, I'm trying to match make them sef
Wow....don't fell bad at all.... everything na turn by turn
DeleteBeta person, God bless you ojare. The friends wey i get no send me o, none don even try to match make me sef .
DeleteDear,poster give the couple their space. Na from hugging and discussing business plan the thing dey start....
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a very insecure lady😐😐😐😐
DeleteLEP😛
Try hug and kiss her husband next time you visit. Don't forget to update us with the outcome.
ReplyDeleteDropplerganger you are very good in giving advice I will like to talk to you one on one
ReplyDeletePlease if you don't mind
I think her husband is the suspect here and since you are single you are also a potential threat! So poster stay clear! Because if I see a so called single friend hugging or even talking business and she is single, be it friend or not I go vex oh!
ReplyDeleteSo a single lady can't talk business with ur husband....hahahahahaha..tufiakwa
DeleteI don’t understand what I’m seeing here,which one is don’t hug someone’s hubby,in this civilised world hian!!! Why are women so insecure? Insecurity isn’t sexy abeg! If she’ giving u a weird vibe then there’s no need to sweat the friendship , let them be!
ReplyDeleteWhatever maybe the reason, stay off. No calls or checking up. Don't even like or comment on their posts on social media. It's not beef. But u are trying to save your head.
ReplyDeleteIf they invite you for an occasion, politely decline.
Stay your lane my sister
Poster I can understand what you are saying. You act base on too much foreign movies or you are much more modern and have a different view about been married. But wait o, why on earth will you hug a woman's husband when she is not watching. Are you guys related by blood? You should know what's good and bad.. And you said she was following you up and down, who is following Who? My dear, stay your lane and park where singles are and stop hugging people's husband and turn victim.
ReplyDeleteYour last paragraph though. It's just so unfortunate
DeleteI l find myself in the wrong continent.
How did you become this insecure as a woman,who do you this kind thing😡
DeleteLEP😛
Smh, @Dolly, please where do singles park?
DeleteThis statement is discriminatory, this is the attitude single people get that make them desperate to get married.
No Mystic, Dolly has very low self esteem. Bellarinas at times I feel the same way. 😔
DeleteI think from your narrative, you seemed busy with her husband when you came in and after greeting her instead, to focus on her,you followed her husband to the kitchen to 'talk'so she was probably wondering what you both were talking about and was following Upandan to probably know what it is.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is this probably set the tone for her feeling somehow...and maybe you seemed extra chatty with her husband than to her, your friend , during the event supposed to be in her honor. You guys have not seen in a long while so maybe she was expecting some of that attention from you.
Hugging her husband fully might just have made it seem more suspicious.
I suggest you call her up,gist normally and thank her for the event.
To go or not go next time is entirely up to you after this.
Hmm..na wa for this poster o
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, the importance of applying wisdom in all we do can never be overemphasised. The wife is your friend and you stated that you're good friends with the hubby too. When you notice that your friend is giving you a "stank" attitude, is it wise to start socializing with her hubby? Perhaps, subconsciously or consciously you were "fraternizing" with the hubby to get to her? Like "if you choose to ignore me, I have your hubby to give me attention" kinda mindset.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually surprised that you could drink a whole bottle of red wine in such a hostile environment. Darling, I know we're all wired differently but if I were in your shoes, the minute my friend starts acting salty, I will give her her gift, wish her a lovely celebration and beg to take my leave. Even if her hubby is being a gracious host, I will keep a respectable distance and exit the building. Your friend's attitude should have dictated how you behaved.
You overstepped your bounds, following her hubby into the kitchen to conclude your gist, regardless of whether or not people were there, is totally out of order especially when your friend is acting frosty. Why go into her kitchen uninvited? Do boundaries mean nothing to you? Was the gist that important? Couldn't you have waited for him to come out? You waltzed into the kitchen of your friend who is less than pleased to see you because the hubby is your friend too. Can't you see you were being disrespectful to her? He invited you but it is her party, respect the celebrant. As if that wasn't weird enough, you just had to hug him on your way out. If your actions weren't calculated, then you were less than smart. Hugging her hubby may not be such a big deal on its own but when you consider the surrounding circumstances, that was a wrong move on your part.
You must have been acting tipsy for your friend to be concerned about you driving. Alcohol makes some ladies overly flirtatious. Perhaps you were and didn't even realise it because you were all turned up. I'm sure your friend's version of the events will be significantly different from yours. Honey, stay away from where you aren't wanted or celebrated. Watch your liquor intake when you aren't in your house. Drinking a whole bottle of red wine at a party is unladylike and driving home afterwards, reckless and irresponsible.
When you respect yourself, your status doesn't matter. I have seen single ladies carry themselves with dignity and poise that they commanded respect. Ironically it was some of the married ladies who were making a fool of themselves all in the name of partying. Sweetie, if you carry yourself in a dignified manner, your married friends will feel privileged to have you in their midst. Think about it and make the necessary adjustments.
e-hugs and kisses.
Mtcheww. Acting like one perfect human being. I know type ronalda nonsense. And please am not the poster
DeleteHian o, ordinary one bottle of red wine. Is that not about three or four glasses and you don't even know the percentage of the alcohol content but have concluded that she got drunk and was misbehaving. Na wa ooo. Necessary adjustments indeed. After all the darling , sweetie you still found a way to castigate and blame her.
DeleteBabe, there is nothing left in that friendship for you, move on to avoid show down and insult on top nothing.
I agree with all Ronalda wrote however, maybe she went into the kitchen to continue the convo with hubby because she felt uncomfortable around the strangers coupled with her friend's unfriendly attitude, and he was the only one she could really talk to at the time. Her self-consciousness is prolly what caused her to forget boundaries. I won't blame her too much except for the drinking part. I cannot believe you drank a whole bottle of wine and still got behind the wheel. That was irresponsible of you. You could have killed someone or yourself. Please desist from such dangerous habit and of course give this couple some space and focus on your life and building new friendships. One more thing don't always assume or conclude that people are beefing you, sometimes people have unresolved issues bothering them or in this case, there may have been a fight or quarrel between them prior to the party that affected their vibes, you never know.
DeleteThis nonsense advice is why I stay away from married friends. Insult upon injury. There is nothing a single woman will not hear.
Deletealways quick to type rubbish insulting women with 'sweetheart'. i wonder what your identity is outside marriage
DeleteAs usual, Ronalda, you are 1000% right! Btw, I am a single lady...
DeleteLeak this ronalda.. Shakara.. Stank attitude? When you're my supposed host? I'll finish that talk with your husband so long it's business anywhere that isn't the bedroom you guys share... drink as much as I can handle, hug your husband full frontal,hug you too.. and send you a stank text when I get home.. what's friendship without trust?.. we're done biko and if I'm petty much,stop doing business with your husband which could be your loss since you wanna be an ass.. mtswwww
Delete#leave
DeletePoster, your heart is clean so please stop worrying.
ReplyDeleteIn this life we do many things that others misinterpret and take offence. Take it as one of life’s lessons and be kind to yourself.
Wait for her to contact you. If she doesn’t, leave her alone.
There is an unwritten rule, once your friends get married, (male or female), if you're still single, give them space. If they value the friendship, they'd reach out, if not, farewell. "20 children cannot play together for 20 years" In these parts of the world, being married is a status thing especially for women, the disregard that follows towards their single friends may even be done unconsciously. Our society frowns at a friendship between a married and single person, not minding the bonds that had kept that friendship over time. Keep your distance, its OK to love people from a distance. Maybe if your friend tells this story too, she'd come from another perspective that never crossed your mind. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteAbeg give them space
ReplyDeleteIf your friend would rather give you attitude than confront you over a perceived wrong or something you might have done, it's best to keep her at arm's length. Don't give people a chance to hurt you. Once you notice a negative or sudpicious change in their behavior, you either confront them if you have the courage or quietly withdraw.
ReplyDeleteIf your conscience is Clean; the feeling will die off naturally. But if you really know what you are up to and you are just playing cool not to be caught; trust me you will continue feeling this way, because your subconscious mind will keep playing with your head even when she have nothing in mind against you; even if she say hi; you will read another meaning into it.
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself; was I really stepping on her space? Are you in any way jealous of her because of her husband? Are you acting strange in anyway? Can you swear never to betray her? If all these listed answers are positively answered, don't worry you will be fine. Work with your conscience please. And try respecting boundaries.
Make sure your heart is pure towards her.
Thanks guys! I appreciate all the advice&admonishment...
ReplyDeleteMy dear stay far far away. Maybe the husband must have said something nice about you and your friend is now feeling unsecured with you around. I usually give my friends space once they are married to avoid unnecessary attitude.
ReplyDeleteAll these ppl with hugging problem ,when did hugging become a crime?Do u know if it is frontal or sideways?Abeg u ppl should park well.
ReplyDeleteAppears she no longer trusts her husband but not sure which of her friends could be betraying her. She's therefore, suspecting whoever comes close. I think you should either ask her since you are supposed to be friends or give her space
ReplyDeleteMove on and forget about our friend, as long as you are single people will blame you for any mistake, it is time for you to draw closer to your creator expressing er your married friend treated you so that yours can come to you.
ReplyDelete