STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ANGER ISSUES
I don't know maybe am being harsh to my husband but pls,correct me in LOVE ,though I am still praying about my anger issues.
My husband accuses me anytime my toddlers does any little thing like splitting water on the floor,falling down (very rare) while I am doing four things at a time,I mean house chores (multi-tasking).
There was a day I was washing his clothes,I was so hungry,no food but I was still managing to wash the children's clothes and his,I called him to come squeeze his heavy trouser because I no get the power to do it,the next thing he told me was that ''did I beg you to wash for me? ''
My head spark,out of hunger and anger,I just threw all his clothes on the floor,started cursing him heavily and used my fingers to press his nose. Though,he's on the gentle side a bit but sometimes he gets annoyed over little things.
We kept malice till the following day,I told him he's a weakling and not man enough that's why he fears his siblings,nieces and nephews but can only fight me. I told him not to be keeping malice but behave like a man and solve our issues before sleeping that a fool at 40 is a fool forever. He abused me too but I had to force him to tell me sorry which he did and I apologised too.
He said he doesn't like it when I curse him. How do I stop cursing when I am in the heat of anger? Though,I am still praying about it. Please,don't abuse me. I just need your advice. Thanks.
"Scratches head"....madam you sef
ReplyDeleteSeriously madam poster, I cannot comment without abusing you so I'm going to drink water. Na wa for you. Hiannest.
DeleteEasiest solution? Do not stay in the same space with him in the heat of anger, go to another room, step out if you can till you calm the heck down.
DeleteI can't comment without causing you,mehhh u used your finger to press ur husband nose,let me start going 🚶🚶🚶.
DeleteLmao! Immediately I got to that pressing of nose, my eyes just turned. I can’t even do that to my smallest cousin or sibling, that is soooo disrespectful! Sheesh! Madam do you have any respect or fear for your husband at all? You obviously see him as a weakling and you have told him as much. It’s because of people like you that they advise men not to be gentle with their wives.
DeleteThis man you think is weak, the day he will do you something, don’t write chronicle oh, just know you caused it. I don’t even know how to advise you cos you obviously have no regard for your husband, treating him worse than people treat their maids.
Your husband seems bush. You're slaving away but expected to do it all with a smile. Real African woman ish. You're human my dear. I'm not justifying any aggressive behavior but you're clearly carrying a load that's making you go off when you're triggered.
DeleteExactly... The stress of the chores triggers your anger
DeleteI can see how his remark can annoy one, but you need serious self control. The only way things will change, is if one of you learns to be quiet when the other is cursing or angry. It will help the other to be better. One person needs to be willing to be quiet.
DeleteAsides your hot temperament, you are very proud too. You forced him to apologize to you? You need to work on that.
Stop cursing and killing his ego by using such words, because some day he will react in a way you least expect. How do you open your mouth and call your husband a weakling? A fool? Don’t forget that words spoken cannot be taken back. He is keeping a record of all your abuses. I pray it doesn’t come back to bite you in the a**.
As for your husband, he isn’t mature. Mature men do not raise their voices.
You both need to speak to someone, so you do not lead your toddlers astray. Children learn from watching. They see and hear everything.
I pray you both get help.
Poverty is the root of all anger issues... may God provide for you and yours dear poster
ReplyDeleteBestest comment!
DeleteA hungry woman is an angry woman, hope she won't break my head for this comment 🏃🏃🏃🏃
DeleteExactly!
DeleteA hungry woman is an angry woman
Hmmm, your husband should walk away before u beat him....🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha...U are mad
Delete@Blackey
DeleteAbeg no break families o
Kedukwanu?
😊😊😊😊
Better still, he should provide for his family.
DeleteHe needs to buy a washing machine, and also keep enough food at home.
Madam, don't wash when you are angry, cloth washing is hungry business, i know because i do alot of handwashing but i load my stomach first before anything because, i cannot comman kill myself.
Anon 17:37@lmfao
DeleteAnon 17:37 you just killed it.
DeleteIt's demeaning to curse a partner... I hate it.
ReplyDeleteI understand how crushing tending to so many chores can get without help. However u must bridle ur tongue. I suggest u tell him how you really feel about it and ask for help when he can.He could probably help with the kids more. You should pray too. I never underestimate its importance. All the best poster.
ReplyDeletePractical steps.
ReplyDelete1.) Don't say to him what you would not have him say to you.
2.) Count backwards from 100 once he does something to annoy you.
3.) Walk away if its starting to become a confrontational argument.
4.) Pray and read the scriptures. Read spiritual books on discipleship.
5.) Have a heart to heart communication with your husband stating what triggers your anger and ask him his own triggers too.
Then pray TOGETHER on the issue.
You don't just have anger issues, you are also a bully! You used your fingers to press his nose cos you were hungry and angry? as if that wasn't enough you threw the clothes on the floor. He probably replied you that way cos of the way you asked him. If you had asked him gently, he wouldn't have replied you the way he did. Also, tell him to get you a washing machine. you can get the smallest one for 35k instead of stressing yourself.... Then keep on praying for that spirit of anger to die by fire
ReplyDeleteModela, you spoke my mind. OP you are a bully and you should be arrested for that.
DeleteNo she snapped
DeleteTo prevent this, rest when your body needs rest. Leave his clothes alone. It can be annoying to be chilling and Simone calls you to join chores you didn’t want to do at that time. We’ve grown and left our parents house so no more random calls to come and do work
Models, did the entire scenario painted above look to you as N35k washing machine isn't excess luxury?
DeleteNo food, she is hungry, then used a finger to press his nose and call him weakling for fearing his siblings, nieces and nephews... This scenario boarders in poverty.
God punish poverty!
You people are too much. This man cant even provide food for the family, and u talk about washing machine?...it the poverty and frustration fighting. Nothing is more annoying than a man who cant provide, and still don't help with house chores. Truth is, frustration will make u angry like every minute, and if they are afraid of their family members..na triple annoyance..
DeleteSounds like my ex. Lazy and scared of his family including his siblings kids.
DeleteHave we considered the fact that no food simply means she has not prepared anything that morning? Doesn't necessarily mean the house was empty. Sometimes especially sat when I've much to do b4 I prepare meals it gets up to 12pm. U can imagine d hunger pangs already.
DeletePoster ure not just an angry woman ure a bully and yes ure right, ur man is a weakling. How I so much hate that nose pressing thing. Nobody tries it with me even if it's a joke without getting it hot from. How can u? Simply leave his cloths in d bucket of water till he's ready to do what u asked even if it takes him 10yrs. Just put d bucket outside when it starts smelling. There are better ways to deal with issues than all d curses and nose pressing. Rubbish.
When you're very angry, take a deep breath in and out, in and out, in and out then you walk away.
ReplyDeleteBecky,
DeleteYou no get am.
If you wan depend on the arm of the flesh (which shall surely fail);
make she buy a sac, fill am with sand, tie am and hang am for her backyard
Eheeeeeeee
When anger come, she go go punch am with all her strenght
But if she wan depend on God, make she fast.
Poster...the best thing you can do right now is to stop getting pregnant....stop borning!. Or else you will be stuck in this predicament.
DeleteYou are already doing 4 things at once and Your husband I assume is sitting down!. STOP!. take control of at least your fertility. When you are in Hole, STOP DIGGING!.
It's the most annoying thing in the world when women come and say the man did this when I had my 3rd child the man did that when I was pregnant with my 4th child. Fucking STOP! for God's sake!
Learn to control your temper
ReplyDeleteBoth of you have a lot of growing up to do. The fact that your husband is reserved doesn’t mean you should push him or seek his reaction. In respect to house chores, I don’t see how you can call marriage a partnership where two become one but in terms of chores only one person seems to be doing the heavy lifting.
ReplyDeleteProbably too late for you but there has to be some sharing of duties, you can’t be cleaning and supervising the kids while he watches TV or folds his legs reading today’s paper. Maybe if he assisted you’d be less grumpy. Instead of insulting him when angry, state clearly what he has done and how he can improve. “honey, today I didn’t like how you shouted me down when I asked for your help. I think if you helped me more especially without my asking I would be more relaxed and it would help us bond more when we spend time doing chores together”
Marriage shouldn’t be master and slave thing, communicate and talk like adults instead of insulting each other like kids when you have issues. Get a washing machine if you don’t have one or have him give his cloths to dry cleaners. I can’t see myself hand washing cloths when I go to work Monday to Friday not to talk of when kids are involved. Kuku kill me!
God over bless you for this
DeleteDoppel,
DeleteWhen you get married, I pray all the advice you dish on this blog work for you. It is easier said than done.
Awwwww.... Always looking forward to your comments. You said it all... My wcw 😀😀😁😂😃😄
DeleteDopey is right but sometimes we need to realise that not every body can afford what they need. I feel this lady's anger is deeper due to some lack. Poster you dont have to do for him what he has not sent you na. Why wash adult clothes with bare hands?
DeleteDoppelganger, they cant even afford to eat ooo,but I agree with u...
DeleteExactly, Doppel, u neva marry....I wish to see if you will truly practicalize all the advice you are so quick to give when it concerns marriage issues. I guess those also hyping your comments are single like you too.
Delete*spilling water
ReplyDeleteSis, don't use your tongue to dismantle your husband's esteem. Best way to handle anger is to WALK AWAY from that situation until you calm down.
Glad that you are praying over it, God help you.
But the husband also abused her so they are both wrong
DeleteMarriage not a easy something o
ReplyDeleteYou married him, you are now him, how can you be cursing yourself? When you curse your husband, you curse your own glory by yourself. As a woman have you asked yourself your role in his life aside sex? Do yu know that you have the power to determine how your marriage and financial life becomes by your own mouth? Do you know you have that power to liberate that man from poverty and penury? How can there not be food at home with 4 children with 2 full fledged adults at home? Do you think marriage is just for rearing children? How would you raise those children if there is no money? My dear woman, I am a woman like you and advise you to kneel down and cry to God for mercy on you; cry and reverse every curse you placed on your husband, I mean cry indeed and reverse it all; now start swearing blessings upon his life day and night; kneel and ask him to forgive you indeed; open his two hands and say because you are his wife and helpmeet and because your children and you must eat, his hands are blessed and he will provide for his home with his two hands. Do this sincerely day and night and watch your lives in the next 6 months and return here to testify. Women keep destroying their own homes with their own hands.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for this advice. Maybe when there is money, she can get herself a washing machine.
DeleteI think she should pray to God to bless her so that she has money . She can also pray for him to have money too. But focus on herself.
DeleteWhile prayer is good, she needs to work. Go out and seek a job, start a business or something. There is no short cut for God dignifies labour.
DeleteMa'am Stella where is your red pen ? Abi Ink dun finish?😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteThe nose pressing enyero Stella onu okwu😂😂😂
Deleteso you mean after giving your husband the abuse of his life, you forced him to say sorry first and he did before you decided to apologise? wooow.... he might really be the name you abused him with.
ReplyDeleteNo he’s just a mature man that knows sorry won’t kill him
DeleteJazmine, you expected him to beat her?!
Deleteyour hubby needs to stay far away from you
ReplyDeleteYou use fingers press ya husband nose? Like say na one of ya children,shey?YOUR HUSBAND😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteyou don't have an iota of respect for the man. Simple!
As a gentleman the warning wey i go give am ehh, go shock am.. From that day na fear she go dy fear me. Small play she come dy vex. If you're hungry leave whatever you're doing and look for something to eat so as to lighten your mood.
DeleteThe problem is not what is not written. I guess the man has esteem issues and She as the wife knows it....whether consciously or unconsciously...his fearing his family is a great pointer.
DeleteYou need to help him build up his self esteem. You are destroying it by cursing him.
Change the way you see him... That's why you can curse him.
You need to start seeing him as the head of your home and RESPECT him.
Also talk about him helping out in the house. Don't be 'I can Do all the chores' woman. You will keep getting angry over small issues.
God bless you...100%
DeleteYour husband should learn to assist you and be appreciative.
ReplyDeleteIf the kids do something wrong, he should correct them and not put the blame on you.
It’s not easy to organize a home most especially when kids are in the picture.
On your own part, please tone down the curses, it’s not healthy for you both.
Learn to ignore or walk away please before you do something you’d regret.
Please don’t call him a weakling ever again.
Anytime he annoys you, pick your phone and listen to some good music.
I wish you the best ❤️❤️
oko iyawo elepon blue
ReplyDeleteTry and pray to God to give you the grace to pause, think and then react. Most times when you pause and think of the consequences of what you want to do or say you find out that you won't say that anymore.
ReplyDeleteSince financial problem is an issue, you two can put heads together and think of a way out. manage your needs before wants, get (business or a job no matter how small), always pray together.
Please stop transffering your anger to your kids that is bad and God listens to kids. The economy is not favourable now but happiness is free.
No man likes it when you curse him,they hate it but that is the only way women unleash their anger blc you can't beat them,I'm guilt of these and mine has begged me to stop calling him names but once am angry is not possible, am trying dis days blc is just 1year of marriage, I pray we learn from women that have solved the issue
ReplyDeleteYou are just 1 year in marriage.. as in ONE YEAR anniversary and you are already insulting and emotionally bullying your husband. Whatever curse you place on him, use on him also reflect in your own life because both of you are now one.
DeleteWords are powerful. You can use your mouth to kill your husband career for life and it will definitely affect you. There is power in your tongue woman, learn how to use it positively to build your home before your marriage will pack up.
Your husband is in trouble. Hope he survives the next few years alive with you by his side.
DeleteGod, please help wives to be virtuous women.
DeleteWives, please, respect your husbands.A man who is disrespected by the wife generally has poor self esteem. A man has the capacity to build or destroy her man.
Things are rough for a lot of men as it is. Let's not deflate them any further by making them feel worthless.
Poster, you are a good woman for seeking help to improve your relationship with your husband even though his actions to you sometimes aren't good. I know it's not easy most times, but try not responding to him in a heated argument. In doing that, you will save yourself those nasty words you would have said to him.
ReplyDeleteThose things he usually complain of, see how you can handle them so that reasons for him to speak rudely to you will stop. Also try never to keep malice till the next day, so that the devil won't see a loophole to enter your household.
I still remember a comment Bv Engraced dropped here few weeks ago, how she was angry with her hubby but on a second thought, she had a mental picture of the devil laughing at her. Guess what she did? She went inside and hug the husband and they both reconciled and laughed over it. That's what the devil don't want in many homes, for he wants them to live in disunity.
Finally, keep praying as you stated, for there's nothing prayers can't do. It can change even the worse situation on earth.
TeeJay you remembered...lol. Truly the devil don't want peace in our homes. And the worst burnt in the whole matter is our little kids.
DeleteOmg you went overboard. Since you know the problem, the solution is put water in your mouth, it will stop you from talking. Do the water therapy, it will help you.
ReplyDeleteSecondly continue praying to God to destroy every spirit of anger and manipulation. His gentleness is killing you and that is not what the devil wants.
Just continue praying and you will be surprised how it will disappear
Jesus!!!
ReplyDeleteSee insults??
How dare u call him a weakling? That is so wrong....I have never insult my husband harshly, I only playfully say,u are wicked,are u scared of to talk?what is wrong with u,get out,u are not romantic.. Etc
He use to be someone that insults very well but because I don't do that and I've told him before we got marry not insult me because if my mouth start*na poison*,and do u know he don't insults me,I taught him how to stop because I don't do it to him..now we can argue without insults and after the argument,we are back in talking term,even if the anger extents to night,once we want to pray we say settle....sometimes when our husbands offense us,we say things that we have to apologized for even if we were not at fault..
Once an argument want to start or is getting out of hand, leave or be quite.. It doesn't make u a fool..
Most men don't take the sides with their wife's over their families..learn to defend yourself, ones u start defending itself since he can't talk to his people, they will start respecting u
Hubby too used to be insultive but I'm not sure he understood those were insults or not. I'd tell him if I open my mouth for you you'll not even remember your name...if I start... so he just stopped and we're all good
DeleteCount to ten.learn to walk away.do away with being abusive.
ReplyDeleteMust you curse ur husband
ReplyDeleteIf you don't control your self,its might affect your childern and even ur marriage
I no, its not easy doing house work,
Pls take it easy for ur children sake cos they are learning from you
All both of you need is a better understanding of each other. I don't see any big problem here.
ReplyDeleteI was reading and waiting for you to curse your toddler but you never did.
ReplyDeleteYou dont have anger issues my dear,you simply married a man you don't love!
If you dont desist from being rude to him,he will change into a beast and when a good man goes bad,he becomes irredeemable!!!!
Keep on praying you hear!
Is it necessary to include it even if she does cuss her kids out?
DeleteShe loves her husband that why she's seeking advice. 😒😒
She loves him please. She washes his clothes and begs for advice to learn how to be better
DeleteMrs love clap for yourself.if u dont know what to say shift abeg.what do u know abt love.prof love!
DeleteThis woman is frustrated. I do t k ow why you all cant see that. No food, and she does all the house chores. She is hurting emotionally....Madam please walk away when u arr angry, and tell your husband to help with the house chores. Most men from poor families are afraid their family members, don't know why...
DeleteNdi otu Ceec 😂😂
ReplyDeleteYou pitch your husband nose...is he a short man???
ReplyDeleteYou r not loyal
Is she that short that she cannot stretch her hand and reach to pinch his nose?
DeleteYour Husband married an Agbero. Poor guy.....😞
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm..... silence is golden, be silent when you are angry... you’ll find out that when you keep quiet it will all go away sooner than you think. ❤️
ReplyDeleteWhile praying about it, if you are angry don't address the issue until you are calm, in order to have a reasonable conversation. Also, I feel anger is an escape route from the stress you are going through at home. Seek for a domestic help, buy a washing machine, etc. You didn't come to this life to be a domestic servant. Who knows, maybe your husband is seeing you as a maid already. If not how can you explain him being humble outside and a tiger inside. Lastly, you guys should see a marriage counselor (not a pastor!, except the pastor is TRAINED as a marriage counselor). In Judge Lynn Toler's voice, I think you guys love each other, apply these changes, go for counseling , this matter is adjorned
ReplyDeleteMost of the time you can avoid a lot of these situation by keeping quiet and if the heat is too much;walk out of that particular environment,calm your head down,evaluate the incident then put your words together and voice out to your partner when the heat is down and either of you is calm..
ReplyDeleteIt is not easy to walk out of such situation but we do ourselves more good by keeping quiet instead of the insults which you spend more energy trying to explain things to each other later..
The problem we have is PRIDE,cos most couple cant say the word "Sorry" to their partner and mean every word,or at least show it in their action..
You two need to calm down and talk to yourselves,cos two grown adult can't be exchanging words at same time..it won't be good either for the kids to see it as a normal thing for their parents..
If you telling him to do things make him say things you don't like;then please do the ones your strength can carry and leave the rest.you aren't a slave..
Most times stress or Frustration is another problem,please understanding and communication really matters for a couple..
@MARTINS ABOY
I understand he provoked you there but you went too far by throwing his clothes and squeezing his nose😂😂😂maybe you could've left his wet trouser and continue with the kids clothes. I know how annoying these so called calm men can be....e be like na acting dem dey do. They can annoy you and then will start acting innocent...
ReplyDeleteI think you should just walk away and leave the space for him when he gets you angry.
Your husband is really a quiet person. But what is the relationship between washing clothes and calling him a weakling? Like he said, he didn't ask you to wash clothes, you chose to do it. So why are you angry On top a decision you made? Please if you are frustrated in the marriage, quit before he loose control someday and hit you to death. Marriage is not a do it die affairs.
ReplyDeleteAre you okay at all? Must the husband ask the wife before she can wash his clothes? She washed the clothes and only needed help in drying abi squeezing them....the foolish man couldn't just do that, because he's silly, stupid and unappreciative just like you.
DeleteMadam only one statement he made,see all you vomited,Tell me how you will unsay all this painful words?you even pressed his nose.SMH...The problem here is money that is all you two needs,poverty can trigger anger alot,my prayer is that God will provide for your household ijn.it is well
ReplyDeleteShe didnt say all he also said she just summed it up with he abused her too,so you wont know all that was said. She is telling hers cause she wants to stop not look for who to blame or anything
DeleteThis woman is an abusive woman.
ReplyDeleteDs Your story made me laugh 😂 😂🤣😂... just trying to imagine you pressing his nose 👃... oh well, that’s domestic violence so mind your hands next time... and ur mouth
ReplyDeleteno advice from me today... I ll wait n read comments too
Jesus!!! You said all of those? Truth is there are women like you everywhere. When they are angry,they don't care who they hurt with their words until their anger subsides. It's a good thing that you recognise your flaw and are willing to work on it. I would advise you to take a deep breathe anytime your husband makes you angry. Don't bottle up your feelings when you see him doing wrong. Tell him how his actions are hurting you immediately instead of waiting until you guys have a disagreement, even if he doesn't want to listen. Also, learn to be practical and use wisdom. Anything that you know would cause problems, avoid it jejely..Like the clothe issue, you should have gotten up, clean your hands, tell him since he can't help you that you don't have the strength to wash the remaining clothes. Let him continue the washing. No time for gragra. Apply your God given wisdom to trash issues instead of talking... If I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteRight before you got into marriage you know very well you have anger issues but you did not pain attention to it.there is no way for you to stop this,you just have to try and know how to deal with it,hopefully your husband will try understand everything you are doing is based on your anger issues.
ReplyDeleteBut wait oooo you do all those things at home while your husband just sit without him not helping.
I dont know how some guys do this ooo seeing your wife going through all house chores with out not helping and this same men will still be the one to say you are looking old, you are not sexy like you use to...
You see that my future wife go too enjoy me I swear,cos we go just dey struggle over who is the next person to do the house chores.
Na marry I say make we marry no be slave I tell you make you come do.
All I read was I pressed his nose with my fingers
ReplyDelete😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
When it comes to chronicles, i subconsciously sieve out wrongdoings and focus on correction. I didn't see/read the pressed nose part, on God!
DeleteAs I de so, when I am angry and heating up, I try, I repeat I try so hard not to explode. What do I do next? I start humming a tune. Music does it for me. It seems you are frustrated over little things which will not help you at all. Don’t take tour husband’s niceness for foolishness. Don’t lay your hands on him to even tap his head in anger. If you cannot wash his clothes, kindly leave them especially the hard ones. You might have to save to get a machine or he does his hard clothes himself. Because truly he didn’t ask you to wash them so when you para, he is kinda right.
ReplyDeleteDid I even make any sense here sef?
ReplyDeleteThank God for the type of husband u have
😂🤣@ I pressed his nose is he a baby 🤣
ReplyDeleteMy mum used to tell me that when she is determined not to give my dad any response, she puts water in her mouth without drinking it (this drink water and mind your business didn’t start today 😀).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, anger is an attitude already highlighted as being deadly by the Bible, because of the things it could lead us to do. In some cases, it even calls for deliverance, but before you go that route, try some of these;
1) Can you make a resolve to never insult him? If you can, it will go a long way in helping your marriage. Please note that it is possible, I can’t even imagine hurling an insult as simple as ‘waka’ or ‘what sort of nonsense is this’ to my hubby. You can do it too, try. All it needs is a decision, the way you can never hurl an insult at your mother or father irrespective of their wrongdoings.
2) It’s good that you told us your hubby apologized after this incident, meaning that he can be reasonable, so then, you both should reason together. You sound spiteful that he doesn’t help you out with little things at home; talk to him about it. Tell him you need his support as you are together in this, I take it that you don’t have a help. I believe he will understand and could amend his ways. If he doesn’t, you can’t force him to, that’s the truth. You have to live with it. What I do is if you don’t help me because you see chores as feminine, I bring very little to the table because I see provision as masculine.
3) Still on the assumption that you don’t have a help at home, you need to pick your chores to ensure you don’t collapse one day. If I were in your shoes, instead of hurling those clothes at him, I would have even apologized to him immediately and told him point blank that ‘I am so sorry, I will leave your clothes alone’ and that day will be the last that I will touch his clothes? He should wash them by himself. Why must you wash them for him? Why? Not like he has a very busy schedule that prevents him from doing that himself! I would have used that opportunity to take that chore off my list forever!
4) A large part of your anger may stem from not being financially stable; you need to work with him to change that! Just as you want us to correct you in love, do same for him, encourage him. I understand that a poor man who is not hardworking can be very irritating to say the least, but, better you have a poor happy home than a poor unhappy home. Also, there is no information on what YOU do for a living, if nothing, you need to get up and get involved in the business of earning a living, for yourself and the kids.
I hope this helps. In summary, find out the root causes of your anger and work with your hubby in addressing them. Also, guard your utterances and actions so you don’t act on your anger. Note that for now you are taking out your anger on hubby, soon, if left unguarded, you may take it out on your children. Please deal with this issue now.
I wish you the best.
Please try to avoid insulting each other. Its the height of disrespect. I don't tolerate being insulted by my partner cus no matter how angry I am, u would never catch Me saying something demeaning. I ended a relationship because the guy i was with angrily called me an idiot. He begged and begged ,but for me that was a deal breaker. If I respect you enough to pass my message across without insults,you must be a joker if u think I'll let you insult me. Speak to me but don't you dare insult me. I feel insults gradually causes cracks of disrespect in the walls of any union, and trust me, once u get to that level, u begin to lose value in the eye of your spouse, and he loses value in your eyes too. Please when next you are so angry that you begin to see red, ask Jesus in before you say a word. Ud be amazed at what comes out of your mouth. Even your husband will be humbled.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well ma'am.
Oh and you said you pinched your husband's nose??? Do u maybe need to have your mental faculties evaluated? That's a tremendously unintelligent thing to do. Husband, not son madam.
Madam, you do not have anger issues. You just have no iota of respect or regard for your husband. "You don see am finish". Continue! Just know that when the wheels of fortune turns in favour of your husband and he starts mistreating you just the way you do him now, please don't cry foul. Please remember that in this life, you reap what you sow.
ReplyDeletePeople like you excuse your foul manners with "anger issues", but can't say pim to an abusive boss at work. Heck, you'll even say, "yes ma, thank you sir", when they abuse your ancestors!
Continue oh! Lady Tyson. Mrs Ruiz.
And the husband has what? Didnt you read the part he also abused her? That she point out hers doesnt make the man less guilty cause they are both wrong. A simple squeezing of trouser that was even his wont kill him instead of making such a remark,marriage is partnership not just the work of one person
DeleteWhy is it that when you people will be dating na so so
ReplyDeleteincantations una go dey chant; "rove you, sugar in my zobo,
candle wey light my darkness, akwa ugo m bla bla bla
But once una marry, na punching on the nose and biafran war
go full house?
Madam, if you no fast/meditate on scriptures of the bible for
that anger matter, you go carry ya hands scatter ya marriage.
😯😯😯😯😯
May God heal your home.
ReplyDeleteMy dear don't destroy your home with your hands,don't push him out there are many ladies who will respect him and even add Jara outside..if your husband is a weakling be his strength, encourage him, respect him appreciate him.stop talking when you are angry,do not respond when he is angry.when he is calm you can then talk things out.
ReplyDeleteDarling, this would have been so hilarious if it were not a serious issue. The potential ripple effect of your behaviour has dulled the hilarity of your narrative. When it comes to marriage, I'm old school. I believe on no account should a wife insult or use abusive words on her hubby, same way a husband can never justify raising his hands to his wife. Sweetheart, how old are you? That behaviour is juvenile. Not only did you verbally castrate him, you actually used your fingers to "press his nose"! Really? Wow!
ReplyDeleteThis is the problem with repressed resentment. Any little " offense" will make you explode like a volcano. You are still resenting your hubby for criticising you as per your toddlers. Did you call him and loving tell him how bad his criticism makes you feel? You are the one asking to be correct with love, no? Do you correct your hubby with love or you keep it bottled up and start harbouring grudges? You see how a simple misunderstanding nearly got out of hand, to the extent that you assaulted your hubby? This is the problem, when you have a cool guy, you tend to take him for granted. If you try that with some men, both you and your naughty little fingers will wakeup in the emergency room, that's if you wakeup.
Sweetie, such behaviour is unbecoming of a lady. So he told you whether he begged you to wash for him, and that was enough to make your head spark? Being the little fire cracker you are, I can imagine the tone you used and way you asked him to come squeeze his "heavy trousers". It will be out of character for a man who will not react violently to a physically and verbally abusive wife and will still be the first to say sorry after a disagreement, to throw words at his wife if unprovoked. Maybe he meant it as a joke but you couldn't receive it as what it is because you were hungry and angry.
Honey you were wrong and it appears you don't value the man you have. After your childish outburst the previous day, you didn't apologise. Rather the next day you decided to emasculate him by dressing him down with colourful words. "he's a weakling and not man enough that's why he fears his siblings,nieces and nephews but can only fight me. I told him not to be keeping malice but behave like a man and solve our issues before sleeping that a fool at 40 is a fool forever" WHAAAAAT???! Just because he said "did I beg you to wash for me"? So if you find out he is cheating what would you do? Kill him and cut off his manly part like that female lawyer did?
My darling, please stop behaving like a back alley lout. If you can't respect a man, you have no business marrying him. So if your hubby doesn't apologise first, you must force him to? Can't you be the first to apologise being that you were the aggressor? If you are not careful, one day you will wakeup and not recognize the man laying next to you. You will push him into the arms of the lady who knows his worth. If your brother's wife treats him the way you treat your husband, how would you feel? Please sort out your anger issues before you end up doing or saying something you will live to regret.
e-hugs and kisses.
Borederline personality disorder. You need to gather money now to see a therapist. If you do not resolve this issue now, it will cost you your marriage, your business or job and your children will abandon you in your old age. If you cannot find a therapist, Google the top 5 books on how to control your anger. Go on Amazon and make sure you read every book cover to cover.
ReplyDeleteGosh,some of you are so harsh with your comments. We must not judge all the time;now Madame I'm not saying you're right. I guess we all fall short in one way or the other.
ReplyDeletePls try to communicate more with hubby. Concerning housework,don't bite more than you can chew. Your house is not a showroom,just do what you can do and rest. How old are your kids? Start teaching them some chores,its never too early. Work on your anger,encourage your husband in a nice way to help out. Get a washing machine if you have the means or save for one. Nothing kills love faster than constant confrontations, call outs and quarrels. Pls learn from this bad experience and forgive yourself. Sounds like you and hubby need some time out too. I hope it works out for your home. Best wishes.
Madam you are stressed out and you people are having financial issues.you are frustrated and if. Not careful you will fall into depression.
ReplyDeleteYour hubby on the other hand is not seeing how stressed you feel thereby not helping matters.
Solution;pray to God to give you strength in this challenging times and pray to grant you both fiancial open doors.
You are physically abusive. If a man threw his wife's clothes on the ground and held her nose (asphyxiation), people will tell her to run away from the marriage. But you have the effronterry to come here with your chronicle because you know most of us here are sympathetic to women. This is not something that prayers can solve.
ReplyDeleteExactly! If it were a man writing this chronicles, the comments would be different!
DeleteTbh, that pressing of nose thing can make me walk out of a marriage! Until she learns to regard her husband I’m not sure she can change. If she feels resentful of her husband because of poverty then they should give each other space AND STOP GIVING BIRTH! Before one person will kill the other
You used your fingers to press his nose? Chineke!!! Why? As small pikin wey him be ? It's obvious your husband is very soft to the extent that you even had to force him to apologize to you first. I know how difficult it can be combining house chores with taking care of children but please learn to respect your husband regardless of all odds. You can ignore him for a while when upset with him but don't opress and bully him. While doing all theses,also pray to God for a sudden miracle in your lives. It's well.
ReplyDeleteMadam, this issue is deeper than you having a temper and exploding when you are angry. I think you may be repeating the pattern and behaviour you learnt from your parents. There are practical ways in which you can control your temper. The first is to walk away and count to 1,000. Yes 1,000. The second is to get a glass of water and sip it 100 times. The third is to think about whether what you are angry about will matter in 5 years time. The 4th is to think about your children. Is this the example you want to set for them? Do you want them damaged psychologically? Would you be proud for them to repeat your type of behaviour? The 5th is to start praising God. It may sound crazy but it works as you can't curse and praise at the same time. Please don't make your relationship toxic. You can still reverse any damage to the point where you can both look back and joke about how you USED to have a temper. I know as I used to be like you. Then I realised I was in danger of repeating my parents' mistakes, something I swore I will never do. I resolved to change and my brother noticed that after 6 months I stopped cursing people that hurt me. Instead I decided to focus on myself and will ask God to bless me. The power of life and death is in the tongue. Use yours to bless your husband and your home.
ReplyDeleteOnce you are in the heat of anger just sip water and don't swallow the water in your mouth.
ReplyDeleteIf you married your friend out both should insult each other, cause each other out and still play love.
If I list out the curses mine has cursed me, your ears will block, even if I delay a bit if he sends me on an errand, he calls me names, abuse my parents, I am this, I am that, I reason like poor people, scum of the earth, barren, etc, in all, I won't utter a word, wen he's tired, he would go n sleep.
ReplyDeleteYou are in bondage. Godforbid
DeleteAll in the name of marriage. Just look at all the things you are enduring? I just feel so sorry for you have no life
DeleteMadam are you for real? God will bless you with beautiful children and bless your home too.
DeleteChinwe Uba
Tell GOD
DeleteYou are not those things
Ask for wisdom and divine direction
Madam buy a washing machine first of all then get therapy for your anger issues. They're many methods to address your anger, a professional can guide you
ReplyDeleteJust like my huaband, he lashes out over little issues and curses me out. He says very harsh things to me and when i complain he l say thats him when he is angry, that he can't change. He l do it and still end up being the one to keep malice for as long as he wants. Last week he did same over what was not even my fault, lashed out at me and by then I had had enough, i talked right back and he s been keeping malice.
ReplyDeleteI later apologised but then he s not satisfied, asking me if he curses me out and so? That I should keep quiet.
Well, right now we are not even in talking terms and i let him be bc i can't kill myself...we are TTC and he refused to touch me when i was ovulation as he was angry.
And we are just a year in marriage.
You should keep quiet when he curses you out? Is he mad or what?
DeleteI am the last person to ask you to divorce but are you sure you want to continue in bondage? Only one year? It's easier to leave when there are no children o. I really fear for your future.
DeleteBut you are looking for trouble where there is none.
ReplyDeleteDon't start what you can't finish.
Why are you forming good wife? He didn't ask you to wash his clothes, you went to do it as a virtuous wife.
Please don't kee yourself because you want to impress him.
I learnt a long time ago not to start what I can't sustain.
Take things easy at home and let him do his laundry. Happy wife, happy life.
The only problem here is poverty, not anger.
ReplyDeleteRich/very comfortable men hardly get insulted by their wives, especially on flimsy matters such as washing of clothes.
So u both should stop having kids and double your hustle, then you'll realise you don't have temper issues.
Lmao my dear the cause of this is POVERTY! Owu ite! Do not underestimate the impact of poverty in a union, especially one with kids. It can alter your brains and make you snap at anything. Especially a union where the man is living up to his responsibilities, it frustrates everyone in it.
ReplyDeleteWhile u do all the work at home..what does he do??He could start by washing his own clothes especially the heavy ones or have a laundry man do it for him. Won't wash my husband's clothes in future except the light ones..polo,undies n light towels.All these hard labour and no food will make u age before your time.
ReplyDeleteTry to eat before working..to avoid all these fights.
Respect and treat your man right.
Work on yourself.