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A HUSBAND WHO DOES NOTHING

My apologies as this may seem long.

 I just need advise on what to do. I met my husband through a friend in 2016. We connected via BBM.

 I live outside Nigeria. We got talking and all and I visited in summer of 2016. Got engaged, wedded in 2017. He is a very cool guy so cool that it is affecting the marriage. The ‘what I want in a guy basics’ clouded my mind so much so that I did not pay attention to what actually makes me happy in a partner. He is educated, working and a christian clouded by judgement that I forgot I like guys who can hold a conversation, fun to be around, take charge as a man etc. We have had a marriage counsellor that obviously has proved futile now.

I am a goofy person, I like to gist about anything and everything with the person I’m with. But I found out I always strike the conversations and even to go with the flow seem a problem. He has only dated one person before me and she ended things abruptly with him. Our s#x like is almost none existent. I made the move on our wedding night, I can say that since we got married 2017 up until now, I have either made the s#x move or given the ‘green light’. I literally taught him how to have s#x and he was so comfortable in acting clueless until I blasted him.

 I knew he was almost a virgin (almost because according to him, his first s#x was a girl threatening to scream rape if he did bang her). This will give you an idea when I say he is too cool bcox in this day and age, how will a young girl threaten your virginity off you.

Our communication sucks big time. I sponsored him to join me here and our application was rejected because even immigration officer could see how shallow our communication is to believe we are a couple. All bcox I stopped talking to. I even was forced to ask him if he is gay during our honeymoon. But he swore with the bible he is not. It got to a point I said I was done which I meant after we took vacation in tho hopes to make it work. It was the worse two weeks in my vacation history. Boring is an understatement. And I stayed when I found out I was pregnant.

Every decision you would expect a man to take or even suggest, he would not, and I ask myself if I am married a man or a boy. But bcox he is so cool (not faking it) people always tell me to take it easy (not that I report him to anyone) but u know the usual advise from family. But nobody knows how painful the shoe I wear hurts.

 We spent a week in a hotel when work sent him for training abroad and u wont believe we did not even kiss not to talk of hug. When I visited with our child, we also spent a week in hotel in Lagos while waiting for renovations at home to finish and again nothing happened.

He loves me so much that I know, he reads book on how to make marriage work etc but nothing is forthcoming. I want my marriage to work. My heart and feelings have closed up to him that I see him as a cousin I am sharing apartment with. I have told him in anger, in calmness, in pleading but we just cant seem to know what is wrong.

 My heart is so closed that I just wanna have my kids by him and move on with my life in few years but who really wants a broken home. When I was the one doing most of the communication, jokes, play etc, it was good, u could tell he was a happy person. But when I stopped that I too need happiness, that is when the problem started and it’s starting to seem like I don’t see anything good in him...

*Well since you are the engine of the marriage and home,why dont you continue?Or are you reading and listening to other women talk about their men?Abeg forget them and cherish what you have oh,at least he would never cheat on you na...hehehehehhehe