STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FRUSTRATED LOVER
My relationship started in the university, he was in his final year while I was in my 2nd year, the relationship is 6yrs now, in the beginning I saw a lot of red flags including cheating that should have made me leave but I was so young and; in love that I saw having a relationship as an accomplishment.
We talked about it, he apologized that he was young and didn't know what he was doing then. He is very hard working and; caring @least with the little he has on him, He didn't get a good job after service but he was able to get a job in a club and the tips he got was okay, knowing jobs like that don't last i told him to apply for his PGD then a masters degree since he graduated with a 3rd class and he only works in the night, he didn't agree claiming people with masters don't have a job...
I also gave a suggestion of learning a handiwork, or even starting a business but all my advice were in vain, his Plan B was traveling out, I gave support with the little I had financially.
On my part I got a job after service he wanted us to get married then but I refused because we can't depend on my salary alone and tips from a club.
Thank God I didn't because the club was shutdown, the traveling out plans is on hold or let me say it has shutdown too. I am tired and I feel like ending the relationship and focusing more on myself and my career because its like I have been fighting a war for 6yrs and yet it has no end.
*Dead end relationship......Do what makes you happy and gives you peace of mind...Nothing is by force!!!
Please and please , end the relationship now
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't listen and doesn't know what he wants to do with his life
Relationship no be by force
Focus on yourself for now, with time the right person for you will come
Please drop that baggage like a piece of trash. He wants to marry you with your own salary? What if you never got employed inthe first place? He wants to travel out? How? With whose money? C'mon babe! You sef think am na..
DeleteBreak up with him ASAP. Pick up your self esteem, be single for a while & enjoy it. Be your own bestie.. this guy is draining you & will continue to drain you if you don't stop seeing him.
Abi you need brain resetting slap?? 🙄🙄
Wise up girlie.. you deserve more. You're worth more.
Please, walk away from that relationship.
DeleteThere's no need being in a relationship with someone who doesn't reason the same way you do. You sound like a hard worker while he seems like someone who prefers the fast lane. You deserve someone who will push you to attain greater heights, rather than a grown man who you will keep trying to pull up all your life.
What kind of man is comfortable getting married without a proper job? Please just walk away.
Well is a woman's world ' you feel like ending the relationship' cuz he is not made it yet, just say you have a new chyker already... Umunwanyi ndi entitlement.
DeleteListen to Stella and push up NOW
DeleteAsk GOD for mercy
Keep moving
If a relationship makes you feel stressed, you shouldn't be in it. Find a way to focus better on your life and career.
DeleteLet me perch here. Pardon me if I'm wrong but is this not your second chronicle in barely two months? Are you not the same person that came here with footballer boyfriend story and had loads of advice, what do you want to hear again? Marry him and keep praying things will improve?
DeleteOya go ahead na. Mshewwww
Abeg. 🚶🏾🚶🏾🚶🏾
“I feel like ending the relationship”, with all the things you mentioned up there you’re still in the relationship? May God give you wisdom to help yourself because when it comes to relationship matter like this, it’s always like pouring water into basket because women will still stick with men like these.
ReplyDeleteDarling, this guy is a NFA and both of you need some time apart. Your place is not to build a man, if after supporting him these years he still hasn’t thought to improve himself then he never will. Don’t stay and end up marrying him out of pity you’d regret it and resent him for it.
Is his dick game that good? This one u can't focus n forge ahead...na wa!
ReplyDeleteMay be he knows how to give head🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
DeleteI can't advice you..
ReplyDeleteWhy not?
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteI don't know how people be a relationship for six years, a whole six years and come back complaining. .
DeleteWhat have you guys been doing since. That's why I couldn't advice.
sis while you still can,pick up your running shoes like you said you may keep fighting an unending war and worst still wasting your time
ReplyDeletePoster run!!! But I don't know where you can run to
DeleteDrink water
DeleteShe can run away to freedom, wisdom, healing
And after sometime a better relationship that she will wonder what the heck she was doing in this situation ship since wasting her time
Your boyfriend is not ready to be a man.
ReplyDeleteYou can’t keep pushing him to better his own life.
You have done your part and it’s left to him to man up and face reality.
You deserve better than that.
If you don’t leave now, he’ll take out his frustrations on you.
How can a man be that indolent?
Receive sense in Jesus name. Amen.
ReplyDeleteYou feel like ending the relationship but you won't cos you feel you habe suffered so much in it that a) you want marriage to him to be your trophy to prove something that nobody sent you to prove, and b) you are asking yourself where you'll start.
ReplyDeleteIt seems alot of young ladies find it difficult to detach themselves from a nonfunctional relationship, maybe the fear of being single or not finding a better partner keeps them chained... heres are good reasons to quit.
ReplyDelete-When you live in the past memories more than the present.
-When the relationship brings you more pain than joy.
- When he/she expects you to change.
- When you hold on expecting he/she to change.
- When you keep justifying his actions to yourself.
- When he/she is causing you emotional, verbal, physical pain.
- When the same situation keeps reoccuring even after addressing it.
- When he/she puts little to no effort to making things work.
- When your fundamemtal values & beliefs differ.
- When the relationship holds you back & preventing you from growing as an individual.
- When one person is person is shamelessly eating from the other like carrot and not bringing in anything but sex or mere words of mouth....
If you find yourself agreeing to 5 of the above mentioned, then its time to go.
You are correct Yaba left
Delete5 is even much
DeleteHalf of some points alone are enough especially before marriage
No award for sacrificing oneself in exercises of futility
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
DeleteHe is VERY LAZY, and this will continue if you marry him. Jump and pass him!...this na bad market oooo
ReplyDeleteAnother ACRIMONY in the making.
DeletePlease jump and pass
The guy not having money is not really my problem here. My problem is when a guy does not have fighting/ hustling spirit. If he was doing a night job then, he would have use his day time to accomplish alot. I dislike lazy men. Please don't quit yet. Keep your mind open and give him a little time more and see how things unfold. It will surely end in praise. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteShe said she has been doing it for 6yrs..make she add more 6yrs?
Delete@BlessedPrincess, after SIX YEARS she should still hold on?!? You are wicked.
Delete@ Blessed!"little time" you say!..six is long ooooo...this is bad market..
DeleteHustling as in begging for giveaway online? Please define what you mean by hustling.
DeleteA woman is like a flower..
ReplyDeleteMost gwegs had long term relationship that headed no where...
Borrow sense...
I had a friend like u ...
She just broke up with the guy after 15 years of relationship and is always crying how she could be so stupid...
I cut her off when she called me 5 years ago to come and celebrate ten years of relationship with her ex....
Stop been foolish pls!
🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂 celebrate 10 years of relationship 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂
DeletePlease stop using that word gwegs, it’s derogatory to single older women. Thank you!
DeleteSo pls which is the appropriate word to use?
DeleteTheres nothing demeaning about the word, youre just giving it a negative meaning in your head.
Don’t be stupid
DeleteIt’s demeaning and you know it
I dony know!!
DeleteStop assuming i know....
Youve failed to give an acceptable word to use.
Its better you use "Evening Newspaper"
DeleteNo need saying gwegs. You can say matured lady. To marry late no be sin. Better to marry late and marry well,than early and marry a riff-raff.
DeleteI stood my ground and married at 37 and trust me i made the best decision of my life. I was blessed with the most awesome man. The one that engaged me in my 20s and still cheated constantly, and wasting my time I am even thankful it didn't work out as he is still as irresponsible as he was 10yrs ago.
Poster this your man is bad luck. He is what they call Destiny destroyer. He is going to pull you back in life. Pls dump him. You people don't think alike or have same goals in life. And lastly stop spending your money on men. Don't you like to have savings for your future.
Marriage at 37?
DeleteGodforbid bad thing, nothing like you stood your ground, you didnt see any credible man till 37! Put it that way.
It is derogatory to use the term gwegs. But your story makes sense and is usually the case.
DeleteTo celebrate 10 years of being in a relationship? Which one is Evening Newspaper again? I don't want to die young so people here should take it easy on me. We have a lot of clowns in this blog.
DeleteChinwe Uba
Wow! In some people's eyes, the worst kind of sin you can commit is being an unmarried lady after 30. I prefer to be unmarried than to marry amiss. I am so thankful I live where I live.
Delete17.43
DeleteIf you are going to Onitsha and know you are standing at the correct bustop if you don't fear darkness, are well protected against cold and theives standing her ground simply means no matter what vehicle came if it was not going to her destination, she didn't enter
But waited till the right bus came
Some buses come early
Some come later, different times but faith means you know you are standing at the right bustop and your correct bus will come
It is humans that try to define or force time
Jet Li, wait in that bus stop oh, keep waiting till menopause arrives
DeleteTenth is very right. I'm a good example. I made such mistake. I was in a relationship for 10 years, nobody could destroy that relationship. All I knew was that we were definitely getting married. After introduction, one day this guy just disappeared from my life. I couldn't trace him, by the time I heard about him again, he was married.
DeleteI got stuck cos I didn't know how to love a again, I felt I had a problem and that was why he left, I was afraid of failing again since I didn't and still didn't know what I did. By the time I let him go out of my mind, all my mates had gotten married both Males and females.
I just gave up on marriage and I'm just leaving my life now.
19.02
DeleteYou are the kind whose chronicle we constantly read here, sponsoring all the responsibilities because they are married to totally irresponsible men in the bid to answer Mrs. Whether you accept it or not, each person has their own time. Some run out of line with their timing and pay the consequences. Jet li is spot on. You are free to fly ahead of your time if you so wish.
@ Jet li👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👌👌👌👌👌👌
DeleteAnon19:02, this your tale kuju broke my heart. Jezz! I will put you in my prayers....
DeleteElle I think you meant 17:43. Someone said she is happy she waited till when she got married @37 and all she could come up with was god forbid. Small g because it can’t be the same God who makes all things beautiful in His time. I just feel for people who allow themselves be pressured into a life of perpetual unhappiness.
DeleteJet Li for someone whose only achievement in life i marriage, I doubt she will understand anything you wrote there.
@poster, you don’t love yourself more than you love him.
ReplyDeleteIf you did, you wouldn’t want to take any decision that will cause you sorrow, e.g sticking with someone that doesn’t have a solid plan for his life.
Stella and her advice,hmmmmmmm can't a man have challenges? the next tin you tell Ur guys is to back out. na wa ooooo
ReplyDeleteAbeg o, make persin help me yarn my Naija dudes/Sisis
ReplyDeletethat "TRAVELLING OUT IS NOT A CAREER PLAN!" 😯😯😯😯
Third class is not a limitation if you know your talent
I remember our beloved blogger sdk told us she had one (due to
circumstances...) and there are several others like that
Wole Soyinka had a third class too.
If you do not know your talent, connect with your maker through
Christ and discover it by seeking him...
The amount most people save to "travel out" can be invested in
developing or showcasing ones talent etc.
I know someone who saved up to 5million naira to travel out...
"visa agents" finished it all and still no travel...
TRAVELLING OUT IS NOT A CAREER PLANT BIKONU OOO
MARRYING AN ABROAD DUDE IS NOT A CAREER PLAN BIKONU OOO
😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯
Please tell them. And even if they manage to 'travel out' culture shock, their lack of work ethic, illegal status, homelessness, and being treated like a third class citizen awaits the majority of them.
DeleteAng is so right...
DeleteLack of sense in Nigeria will carry the same senseless head abroad na Wetin dem no wan accept
DeleteShortcut seeking young men a d women everywhere
Aunties if he cannot feed or cloth you,himself and baby/babies that will come
Tell him to get his shit together first
Weariness from one-sided load carrying breeds resentment, anger, nagging, frustration, comparison with others, more resentment and strife
That you spent 1million building house on sand does not mean continuing to do so
DeleteStop dead relationships and gain freedom to live again and make better choice next time
Relationship isn't yo knack yourself senseless but to actually seek GOD truthfully and study the other person and have quality discussions
GOD will not allow enter one chance if only we can trust HIM completely
Soyinka Did not have a third class. Google it. He graduated first class
DeleteFirst class?! I assume you have his degree certificate for hand.
Delete@19:03
DeleteThat was probably his second degree in London
He first was at University of Ibadan and that may not be on Wikipedia
Jet li, you are spitting truth out like fire. Preach on girl 👍
DeleteMy advice is finish.
ReplyDeleteLol
Deletemost men are sooooooo lazy these days.
ReplyDeleteThats why theyre all going into yahoo.
DeleteRun oh! Lazy men everywhere or else you will pay bills in marriage including school bills for the kids. Una no go hear. A lizard in Nigeria won't become an alligator in Abroad.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteI don’t agree 17:20 you can do better abroad than this shithole country
DeleteI can imagine what you going through. Some men can drain the life force of one. Leave him and don't feel guilty even when in years to come you find out he is successful don't have any regrets cos if God shows you what would have happened if you still want ahead my dear you'll thank Him everyday What's yours is yours, listen to your instincts they are never wrong.
ReplyDeleteOn daily basis, we read chronicles here ,yet some people will not pick words of wisdom from them.
ReplyDeletePoster, you know you're not in a fruitful and futuristic relationship. There's no hope in that relationship because both of you have different goals and visions.
Your umbilical cord is not tied to his. Continue waiting for him when you have already wasted six years.
My dear, this is my situation oo! 6years exactly! Funny enough, I stopped sleeping with him, maybe he'd get the message and move on like I have secretly decided to.
ReplyDeleteTold him I can't keep doing it till i'm married and I wouldn't want us to get married in this situation, so he needs to hustle.
My mind is made up already but I only told him that so he doesn't feel crushed in the spirit. Just to motivate him to help himself even though i'm not gon stay. The relationship stopped making me happy for a while now.
This one is not relationship, move on with your life and do what makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteMy dear pls leave him alone or rather break up with him. If he begs pls don’t accept. He doesn’t have any prospect at all. If not the battle will never end. You will meet someone better when you leave him. Focus on yourself and your hand work. Wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteI doubt you both have same core values.
ReplyDeleteSituation ship.
ReplyDeleteA broken relationship is better than a broken marriage...
Receive sense in Jesus name. Amen.