STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HORRIBLE MOTHER
Hello Stella,
I have an issue that is bothering me and I’m hoping you could post in one of your chronicles maybe I can get answers, it’s really a deep rooted na d very painful matter, it’s my mother and I, My mother dislikes me so much ( I don’t want to use the word HATE) that I don’t understand the reason, this as dated far back as I could remember she always blame me for any bad thing that happens to her which I don’t understand.
I started remembering from when I was 7yrs old, she used to beat me for any slight thing even if I’m not the one who has committed the offence, she once locked me out one night at the same age that it was our neighbour who took me in, after wards she usually accuse me of been the reason why my father left us, I have two other siblings , I don’t understand all this because i heard I was still very little when our dad left , I don’t know what happened or have any idea , sometimes if I’m very sick she would refuse to take care of me despite the fact that she’s a nurse, she will be uttering speeches like “ANY CHILD THAT WANTS TO GO BACK TO WHERE SHE CAME FROM IS FREE, SHE’S NOT LOOKING FOR A CHILD BY FORCE”
If I’m sick sometimes she’ll just leave me there in the ground and people will be crossing me over , she will refuse to give me food and if any of my siblings dare give me food she will ask them to take the food away, it got to a point I had to speak to our pastor in the church, I was about 15yrs old then, I don’t know what they discussed but she changed briefly only to resumes the behavior not long after, this has affected me so much that I couldn’t concentrate my n school and I usually fail my exams despite the fact that I’m brilliant:::
one time I was on holiday I was feeling very sleepy in the afternoon the sun was hot, so I decided to put the mattress on the ground but I first lay out big mat on the floor first before putting the mattress, she just came and started shouting that “SHE KNOWS I WAS SENT TO COME AND PUNISH HER” I was shocked because have done nothing wrong and what happened hasn’t warrant such statement, she ordered me to remove both mat and mattress and I had to squeeze myself into our one seater chair to sleep.
I managed to gain admission into the university and shortly after my Matriculation my mother came to visit me in school that was during my first semester 100level , she came to my hostel and asked me if I understand what they are teaching us , that if I don’t understand I should let her know in time so that I can withdraw to go and learn a trade so that she won’t wast her money, I was really surprised such statement is coming from her but I told her i understood because truly I do understand everything they teach us ...
Anytime our result is out I always have F , everyone is always surprised because I’m one of the brilliant students in my set, even those who doesn’t know anything and usually copy my paper from A-Z in the exam hall usually have A’s and B’s while me that they copy usually have F’s , I had a lot of carry over but I continued to push until I had to forcibly drop out, it was really painful because I love to learn and I like education a lot, after that I had tried to continue by seeking admission into several universities but to no avail, even though I usually pass the JAMB exam anytime I write it.
I’ve prayed and prayed but no changes, in fact I’ve slept for days in MFM prayer city several times but still, the other time a friend introduced me to a priest who prayed for me and said when next I’m going home for Christmas I should buy a very expensive white lace for my mother so that she can pray for me which I did but she just collected the white lace from me and drop it on the chair, she said she knows she’s supposed to pray for me but she can’t......
I just kept quiet and was praying for Christmas to come and go fast, some days after my siblings were not at home it was just both of us, we were in the kitchen and all of a sudden without any previous conversation she just look at me from head to toe and said if she catch me, ( in Yoruba “ti n ba mu e”) i hurriedly left the kitchen because she just said that without anyone talking to her or she talking to anyone.
Several times she had tried to make my siblings hate me by calling them on phone in their various schools crying and lying to them about me which my siblings will in turn call me and be fighting me without trying to listen to me, it took the grace of God before I was able to explain to them that hope they know all what she’s saying are all lies and at least they themselves witnessed various maltreatment I have received from her severally since when we were young till now, it’s after that they will calm down and start apologising to me that They are sorry...
she’s not bothered about me , she doesn’t know how I eat or live, she doesn’t even know where I live or how I survive and she’s not interested in knowing, she doesn’t talk to me or call me or nothing, nothing works for me, no job, no career, no relationship, I can’t even keep a relationship they all leave suddenly without any reason, none of my relationship ever last more than six months, I meet a lot of people who promise to help me with school or job but after the first meeting I don’t hear from them again, I suffer a lot of nightmares and attack from sleep like someone pursuing me with knife and all that , but most times it’s someone trying to kill me, I’m so depressed.
I called my dad several times that I want to see and discuss some things I’m facing with him but he always refused saying he can’t see me,I called him last month and told him that even if he’s not interested in knowing what I’m facing can I at least ask him a question, he said yes so I asked him if truly I’m the reason why he left us, he was surprised and said who told me that I said my mother, then he said it’s a lie , he was really shocked and surprised he said it’s a lie that I’m not the reason why he left that didn’t my mother explained to us why he left, that it’s my mother who offended him and that I have nothing to do with it, that he’s so surprised after all this years my mother hasn’t explained to us why he left?
I’m surprised my mother lied on me and have been suffering for what I know nothing about all this while, No mother-daughter relationship I can’t even discuss my problem with her she doesn’t give the chance , she’s always very “hot”.
Right now I’m so confused and don’t know what to do , at least now I know I’m not the reason for her breakup with my dad so I don’t understand where this hatred is coming from, please she’s not like to my other siblings it’s only me.
I’m tired nothing is working for me.
*Maybe your mum had an affair whilst married to your Father and you are the result of that affair..I don't get it at all
I really don't know how to advice you cos this your case is serious..
Since she listens to the Pastor,i think its time you go through that channel to find out what is going on
End time egg donor.
ReplyDeletePoster find a way and collect your mother and yourbfathers hair and go for a DNA test. Or get any biological material from them ,either ways ,get a DNA.
DeleteFor your mind now, you don advice her @anon15:16
DeleteYou're advicing someone that's not working to go and do DNA?
You need a brain reset.
You think doing DNA test is like doing Genotype abi?
DeleteUna don talk wetin I wan talk I no need talk again..
DeleteDNA test is expensive ooo.
DeleteThis one is very serious, I guess have read something like this here... It's well with you dear..
ReplyDeleteDear poster that man u call daddy is not your real father that is why nothing is working for you. Call a meeting of your mom and pastor and threaten her to tell who your real father is. I have heard stories like this of giving mr A pregnancy to mr B these are the repercussions
DeleteI think so too.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she slept with someone and you were conceived.
Block her from your life and move on. Don't believe she's the reason behind your predicament because you did absolutely nothing to deserve her wickedness .
Remember Jabez in the bible and pray over your situation. God will come to your aid. E-hug darling
I'm so sorry about this, Poster...
ReplyDeleteNow i wish i have a job i can offer U, at least that will keep U from worrying about this...
I just dont understand the part about people copying from U and excelling while U keep failing, is that really possible? i hope your Mum has nothing to do with this sha...
Theres no power greater than that of the Almighty, so fear not about this.. Keep trying to improve yourself, and @least get a job, even if its just menial, to keep body and soul together.
I think U need to move on from this anyway, forget that woman U call your Mum, she's not a good person..
It is possible. How i know? It happened to me a few times back in school. The "copied" fails and the "copier" passes the exam.
DeleteThis is very serious. Are you truly your father's daughter?
ReplyDeletePoster,I feel sad reading this,u have to take Stella's advice go to the church and explain to the pastor what you have been passing through, good luck.
ReplyDeleteSorry but you don't have a mother.
ReplyDeleteWhat stella said is the truth your father is different from your siblings. Its exsctly what happend to me anything i do is not good enough in her eyes it reached a extent where men would look at me and say there not interested after using me then i began to fight and go to pastors, prophets and she was the one behind All My predicaments No children they call me barren etc. But I got delivered and left her alone with her children who were also sponsering her juju on me its been 7yrs i saw her last i cut contact by the Grace of God i had by My son in 2016 now pregnant with again and AM happy friends have become My family. I dont cry anymore i hear she is suffering her money got finished on juju. Its her cup of Tea when she heard i delivered she collaspsed because her juju never worked. So stay strong forøget about her get delivered your the luckiest and successful one of All her children and she knows it. Pray God Will deliver you.
ReplyDeleteA mother o , doing her child to gain what?
DeleteTime for you to make your own life
ReplyDeleteAlso fix your grammar. Go and learn from scratch. You may be smart but depending on your course of study, if you write like this, your professors will keep failing you. Bad grammar may pass in a math class it if you took the social science or arts route, this writing can cause fails
You don't have sense.
DeleteSo out of everything, it's grammar you saw as her problem.
You need hot knock on your head. Nonsense!
Anonymous up there, you are a horrible person. Did you read the post at all, did you read what she has been through? It is grace that has kept her. A lot of people in her situation commit suicide or go mental and you are hear spewing rubbish. J dont know how your parents brought some of you up, no empathy at all.
DeleteHanhan your comment just got me pissed off,I'm not good with insults else! I would have insulted the hell out of you..Annon 15:21 grammarian of life why not be her coach,why not read and pass must you comment? This is the reason why some people go into depression.Don't you know there's power in what in whatever we pen down?very nonsensical comment someone needs advice and all you could spew from your gutter mouth is this? Mtcheeeew
DeleteBe looking for devil chasing you
DeleteWhen you give people practical answers they don’t hear
Your prefer to hear that she needs deliverance
Tell me you don’t know her grammar is a total turn off. If she writes like that and her classmate takes the same idea and writes it better, who will pass.
DeleteAnonymous19 June 2019 at 15:21
FIND BENEATH CORRECTED TEXT
Its time for you made a life OF YOUR OWN.
Also fix your grammar. Go and learn from THE scratch. You may be smart but depending on your course of study, if you write THIS WAY, your professors will keep failing you. Bad grammar may pass in a math class IF you took the social science or arts route, WRITING THIS WAY COULD RESULT IN FAILURE
Dear Anonymous..you are the real proverbial "POT"
I thought no one can love you like a mother.
DeleteIf you've got nothing reasonable to say, please just read and pass.
DeleteNa wa for some of you o...Her grammar isn't even that bad.
DeleteIf you like Dey fix my anon grammar, no be me Dey fail exam
DeleteAlready got my masters so let folks lie to you about life
That’s on her. No one is doing you. Go and learn to write better or pick a course where writing matters not. A word is enough....
Anon 20:37, asides her grammar, she said some other things right? Kindly focus on that for now. Did you see your errors too😏? Her grammar isn’t bad.
DeletePoster, it is well with you. Try and get a job, no matter how little and get busy. Join a good church, be a worker, be a giver, no matter how little, and most importantly pray! Pray until something happens. Lastly, stop looking for love from your mother. Time should’ve taught you that it’d never come. You might never find out the reason, so help yourself by loving you and making the best out of your life. Our mothers are supposed to love us by default, but when it isn’t happening, you move on. Try to let go of everything she’s ever done to you, and let her be. Move on with your life.
Goodluck.
Look at the person correcting someone else.
DeleteChai. Social media ntooinnnnn😝
she is taking out her anger aginst you for something only her can explain...take one week to pray and fast for God to reveal things to you (forget all the ones you have done in the past). then call yourmum and ask her why she hates you. tell her you want to talk with her and be serious that you need answers...if she tell you thank God but if not then plan your life and cut her off. this world is a solo trip. on judgment day God will not judge you and your mum together, it is your life he will judge so her actions to you is not a determinant of how God will judge you. if she hates you its her loss, but you have to move on with your own life my dear.
ReplyDeleteSee Poster, I know people will come here and advise you about praying and fasting... bla bla bla. Your case is psychological. Your grew up feeling like a disappointment hence your failure in school. Your mother has crushed your self worth and now you go about feeling worthless that is why you are experiencing such difficulties. From today, Try to change the way you think. Damn your mother! loose her grip in your life! don't call or text her ever again. you are better off without her. Listen to Me, do away with the pity party. Your mother doesn't hold your destiny in her hand! Take charge of your life and forget about religion sentiments for now. I hope that you rediscover yourself and let go of your past
ReplyDeleteListen to her. 🖕🖕
Delete15:24 nice one 👌👌👌
Delete1000 likes.
Delete15:24... Kudos to you, you speak my mind. Can we meet??
Delete👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
DeleteGood advice. She also needs to pray too.
Delete🙌
DeleteMy mother was something similar but luckily I'm street wise so I started working menial jobs from the age of 17yrs before I met someone that brought me to UK.. . Because of her I'm a baby mama because where will my bride price be paid...I ain't got no family but thank God my partner has family that my kids can link took e.g Cool cousins and nephews 🙄😀
ReplyDeleteSo you couldn't even do court wedding because of your mother?
DeleteYou’re not street smart then if you don’t know of all sorts of ways to legit get married
DeleteYour Dad's people nko ? you can locate them na
Deleteforget street smart and do a court wedding with whoever. if its a Nigerian his people might want to pay bride price yes, but if you don't know your father nor want to relate with your mother I understand it might be difficult. however, don't let any man conveniently turn you to a baby mama....do a court wedding and make it legit if not men go carry you do yeye
DeleteDis one na serious something
ReplyDeletePoster pls I need you to give ur phone details to Stella, i will send a mail to Stella so she can forward your details to me, I do not want to be caught mugu I would have asked that you post it here
ReplyDeleteThis poster is really suffering, i pray you live to tell the story in a better position.
ReplyDelete😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
ReplyDeleteNne, this is advanced witchcraft manipulations
Your father ran away from this battle (though it is not over for him)
but you must fight it to survive.
The counter power is the righteous power -Jesus Christ -the power of faith
expressing itself through love. this is not a hit and run kind of it
It is a daily sacrifice thing -fasting (daily) and praying midnight for at
least an hour. You have to give your life to Christ. In this way, you will have
Grace to love even your mother. Any iota of hatred from you will open the way
for more manipulations.
Learn to live the life of faith and put no hope or trust in any man/pastor/G.O.
but let your faith rest in Christ.
You mother probably had an adulterous affair either when she was pregnant or before you were conceived... Try and dig into the reason your father left the house., you're old enough to make research yourself, go to your extended family members, both paternal and maternal.
ReplyDeleteIf you are not the reason your father left, and there was nothing like infidelity, then your mother might be a member of the occultic, forget about her going to church, that is just a cover up... Those witches and wizard people pray against are people's mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers.
Maybe your spirit have refused to be initiated, the reason for her being against you.
How old are you again, why don't you go get any job and moved out and get a place of your own, then go and track down your father.
Your father should be able to give you some tangible answers.
Some mothers are evil but many people do not know, or they know and just choose to be ignorant or non-challant about it.
I wish you strength and courage in finding out the reasons your mother is being evil towards you.
What sort of family is this? A heartless mother and a non chalant father. He doesn't even want to see you?? I don't think he is your biological father. You need to cut these people off and go find yourself. They will come running to you when you are successful.
DeleteDo you have passion for anything? Learn a skill and forget them, start life afresh and don't dwell on your past failures.
I understand what you are going through, have seen something like this but not to this extreme. The only option is God, see a pastor and never stop praying.
ReplyDeleteTry to get female friends matured ones that could help you, forget your Mum for now. Do anything u can to leave the house though you can visit occasionally. Fight the depression with all your strength read Philippians 4:10 and continue to pray too, could be spiritual. The house is toxic for u right now, make friends....so sorry dear
I understand how you feel dear.
ReplyDeleteYou have to Pretend you dont have a mother and you will be fine.
I would have adviced you to go "spiritual" but You seem like a born again Christian.
Fast,pray and be patient with her,she will love you and your life will be better.
*rolls eyes*🙄🙄
I think your mother committed an abomination and you are the product of it. You need cleansing ASAP
ReplyDeletePoster be strong,God got you. Just believe you can succeed and make it in life without your parent involvement. Zero your mind about your mum. You no get mama at all. In whatever you do pls endeavors to succeed bcos the best revenge in life is success. Pray ceaseless against any form of households wickedness and stagnation in your life.
ReplyDeleteCheers.
Your mom is a witch, take it or leave it. She did something horrible that made your dad ran far away. I hope you can cut yourself off from her and stay far away too, just like your dad.
ReplyDeleteDoes your father always keep in touch with your other siblings?Why did he not want to see you?
ReplyDeleteThere is a very deep secret between your mom and your dad...I think the first step is knowing what happened between your mom and dad.the moment you know that you are getting close to know what actually happened that made your mom hostile towards you.
Poster, if only you can see yourself for the "orphan" that you really are, change your phone number and move faraway where no one including your siblings can contact you.
ReplyDeleteBefore you take that route though, do you have any living grandparent on either side that you can talk to to find out what transpired pre, during and after your birth? I believe a lot more will make sense to you afterwards.
It's unbelievable that your biological mom would treat you this way. It's heartbreaking to say the least. May God guide you as you SEEK THE TRUTH. Do everything and I mean absolutely everything to find out the truth so that you can start living instead of just existing.
I have seen a case like this. The daughter reported to her dad what her mum was doing in his absence.she was just a child she didnt know it would bring break up.
ReplyDeleteYou need to Pray!
ReplyDeleteThis brings tears to me eyes, why so much hatred?
ReplyDeleteBefore Stella talked about your mother having an affair, I thought about it too. She probably played away and got pregnant. Along the line, she may have tried to get rid of the pregnancy but failed (you know how some babies defy all means you try to get rid of them). Hence her thought that you came to kill her or whatever. These are just my thoughts... Anyways, my advice to you is for you to work on yourself for the sake of your psychological well-being. This may or may not have a spiritual undertone. Think only positive thoughts and move far away from her and her negativity. For every challenge in life, there is a "wisdom answer" what you lack is wisdom and you need to search for it and get it. Wisdom enables you know the next and best step to take. Search the scriptures for it and read books that edify and educate. Nobody can limit you but you can limit yourself. You have visited churches and all, it's time for you to sit down with the word and do your own homework.
ReplyDeleteGood advise
DeletePoster I think it’s one of 2 things. It’s either she’s not ur biological mother or ur father is not or is perceived not to be ur biological father. I think ur birth had something to do with the break up of the marriage. I would have said cut her off and better urself but it seems u already have low self esteem. Kpele my dear. It is well
ReplyDeleteYou need to go back to God. You are His child. Seek His face in a 21 days fasting and prayer. Pray the prayer of Jabez. God will change your story. Also, from the little you may have, give alms to the needy also. It is well.
ReplyDeleteMother from ........
ReplyDeleteThis post made me angry,
Reminds me of a message from my teen mentee last night, she ran away from home last night cos her Dad said he will not train her in the University as he has got no money for that, her elder brother concurred saying as a woman she is bound to end up in the kitchen..
Imagine.... Such horrible thinking in 2019?
And the guts to even voice it out to this teenager to her face.
Some parents ehhh.....
Poster, I know you crave your mamas love and affection but I think its time to take a hike and leave your past behind....
Toxic environment and people plus possibility of fetishness is a recipe for mental breakdown.
Detach yourself.
I pray you find healing and peace.
Well, I think your mother kept juju in the house for your father and as a child you innocently brought it out.You exposed her secret.
ReplyDeleteYour mother has a mental illness. That was how my friend's mom treated her 1St son. She hated him so much that she excluded him from his father's properties. It is when she started entering an abandoned vehicle in their compound and staying inside for hours shouting she will sack the driver that is when we knew she was mentally ill. It is not you. It is her.
ReplyDeleteFirst thing first try to run away from her.
ReplyDeleteEven if hunger wants to kill u.
Run away from your siblings from now.
Go MIA.
Then go naked by midnight and cry to God.
In all these sow seed to the needy even if it is ten naira.
Keep professing the word of God to your self.
Trust me;u will see a change.
What do you mean by needy? Are you referring to beggars on the street?
DeleteSo sorry for this dear poster but i need you to understand that this is purely a spiritual battle that needs to be won spiritually. I feel your mum needs to tell you somethings(secrets) you really need to know so you can channel your prayers the right way.
ReplyDeleteAnother way to tackle this is to write our the names of your parents on a plain sheet of paper, get a bottle of anointing oil and table water, prayerfully take them to any bible believeing church, i feel MFM is a good one, place the names on the alter and make decrees seperating yourself from every evil attachments from your parents hindering your blessings and joy in life. Pray fervently from a sincere heart, God will hear. God's word says "a broken and a contrite heart i will not despise". God's word can never be broken and HE honors HIS word above HIS name. So return HIS word back to HIM, you will be free. Seal your prayers with a gulp of the anointing oil and water.
Sorry for the long epistle
There’s no spiri thing. Mom hates her. The end.
DeleteOne day is coming when you shall sing songs of victory in your life. Never you give up every challenges and circumstances you're going through. Hold on to God in prayers and fasting. Victory shall be sure for you
ReplyDeleteThis is serious oo. Poster, find out if both of them are really your parents. Also if you are still living with her,it is high time you pack out and cut her off from your life. Who nor get mama better pass you cos who you describe there is not a mother.
ReplyDeleteOh! My darling, I wish I could adopt you and give you all the love your precious heart can handle. I had to fight back tears as I read your story. I can't even imagine what you are going through and have been through. As a mother, my brain can't process any reason why a mother would treat her child with such disdain. Like Stellz' assumption, the thought did cross my mind that it appears you are the product of an affair that ended up breaking the marriage. Still, that's no reason to be that diabolical to your child, you ought to blame yourself and not the innocent child, for crying out loud!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'm not one to blame every misfortune on spiritual interference but your case is dangerously similar to such cases. Sweetheart, even if that is the case, I don't want you to see yourself as a victim. Having a victim mentally will make you believe everything you are going through is a spiritual battle, meanwhile, you may be doing something wrong which is the reason some things are not working out. I'm not referring to your mum, I'm referring to other aspects of your life. Be sure you are doing everything right so you can differentiate between spiritual interference and human error.
As your mother, spiritually, she has a strong hold on you because of the bloodline. However, no hold is so strong that the Blood of Jesus cannot neutralise it. You have to step up your prayer life and not rely on pastors. Add fasting to your prayers and table the matter before the Lord. I know midnight prayers are very effective.
Now here comes the HARDEST part, baby, you have to try to love and show love to your mum. Physically, you don't fight fire with fire, you neutralise evil with love. Love is the most powerful weapon against dark forces. If you can start showing her love, you will see immediate changes. She will be destabilised, she may even step up her wickedness so you can hate her but don't fall for that trick. Love her harder while you continue with intensive prayers.
Change tactics. Help her with house chores, smile at her when she starts her normal tirade. Apologise even when you did nothing wrong. Instead of feeling like an outcast, start behaving like the Queen you are. See this as the road to greatness. Most remarkable people in the Bible went through fire to get to greatness. Look at Joseph who was nearly killed but eventually sold off by his brothers. David was his father's little secret and was often sent off to tend to flock of sheep. When Samuel came looking for him to anoint him as king, his own father didn't mention him as one of his sons until Samuel asked if he is sure he has no other son? Sweetheart, you have to hang in there till your change comes because it will certainly come and nobody can stop it, but you have to believe and reject that victim mentally.
Don't go from pastor to pastor, you will get conflicting reports that will compound your situation. Believe in your heart that you can pray your breakthrough into manifestation. Treat her wickedness with kindness and watch how things will turn around. Your greatness awaits you, my love, please don't EVER give up. You will get double for all you feel you've lost. Restoration is coming your way.
Massive e-hugs and kisses.
Yes! the love clause is key.👍
Deleteeven though I prefer You stay away but show love at every instance and be on the lookout as well.
Your advice are always top notch, non prejudicial, and soul impacting
Ronalda where have you been, missed your comments.
Deleteposter She said it all, but try to move away from that house too, and sure work on your self esteem.
I wasn't disappointed as usual
DeletePoster, confront your mum. Disgrace her! Tell her to tell you guys exactly what she did that made your dad leave! Tell her you contacted your dad and he confirmed you were not the reason he left. Raise your voice! Creat a scene. Disgrace her very well! Then go back home and soak yourself in prayers.i didnt say you should go to any pastor or church ooo. Pray, talk to God!
ReplyDeleteI am pained!
So you’d believe the idiot that left over the one that stayed and at least tried small so she’s still alive. Ok na
Deletehow stupid can you get aboki? disgrace her then go back and pray. you think God is a babalawo that justifies dirty behavior? you behave dirty and go and pray as if nothing happens. am sure your disgrace is to be shouting and causing a scene like a tout.. no with the God of the bible I know all actions are done with love. also nothing wrong with going to pastors to pray with you because the bible believes in the prayer of agreement. you just need to be careful and know when not to do things that are not biblical. whether people like it or not God will continue to call some people as pastors/ministers to look over his sheep. not all are bad.the reason you also pray for yourself is because God also speaks to you sometimes and another person praying can confirm what has been said because the bible also supports confirming anything out of the mouth of 2 or 3 witnesses.. you don't have to disgrace anyone. call her and tell her you need to talk cos you need answers to some burning issues...if she responds positively good if not cut her off and still remain prayerful till something significant happens. everything has an expiry date even evil. the only thing is you must have a positive outlook and believe that no weapon formed against you shall ever prosper..be positive that your life will change for the better. God never promised anybody a life without challenges and problems. he however says he will always be with you and he always turn everything out for our good. stay strong poster and never give up.
DeleteI pray you get delivered from every satanic hold in Jesus name because no matter what reasons we try to come up with for all that is happening to you, it is only traceable to "DEMONIC MANIPULATION". Because your peace, joy, self esteem and relationship with family, everything that keeps one sane and possibly your faith has been attacked. "FOR THE ENEMY COMES ONLY TO KILL, TO STEAL AND DESTROY". I don't even have anything new to say because i'm sure you must have prayed, fasted and sought God's face tirelessly but should you stop? NO. The same God that showed forth for me in all of my troubled times will do same for you too. PSALM 37 is what i'm prompted to drop for you, and i know that the greatest teacher HOLY SPIRIT will do his job while you read. And God will get the glory. Remember, trials and temptations is meant to strengthen our faith and also draw us closer to God and not to take us away from him. And Continue or start to make God's word the standard for your life. SHALOM
ReplyDeleteDem don come! Everything is prayer. Mtchew!
Deleteoh yes everything is prayer especially situations like this that she cannot understand. prayers can reveal the secret behind her mothers actions...I pray you experience a situation that will truly make you seek prayers, then you will know the real power of prayers
Delete14.09 you're a fool so I can't trade words with you.
DeleteI'm so sorry reading your story. I ain't gonna try to infer on the crux of your history .
ReplyDeleteThe fact that things aint working for you might stem from the spite harboured by your mum on you, maybe, she spites you spiritually too.
this an hatred you didn't consciously trigger and you definitely ain't deserve such.
when it seems we all alone and we have nothing working out for us, and we wanna just flank at life, we look back at those who had always supported and sacrificed to see us excell; those who's got great confidence in our abilities; those who laboured so we could be comfortable, and then we get back our lost drive, we rejuvenate our faith and keep pushing against all odds to ensure that we do become something to be proud of. Most times, the only ones we draw our drive from are our parents, especially our mothers.
Yoh have a mother, yet she spites you, her own blood. well, Yoh still have God, He never spite anyone, He answers when we call out. Cry out to him personally until He hears You. Tarry on him, study his word and totally acknowledge him. Keep crying out to him cos He surely will hear and come to your rescue.
You have a challenge to grow 'You' beyond all odds, don't fail 'You'. It will be difficult alone, but hey! with God by your side, there's no hurdle You can't overcome, Just don't give up.
This the internet age, Learn as much as You can from the net. there are lot of good resources out there to develop You. learn a foreign language, acquire the basic computer knowledge and further more on what Yoh passionate about. this a challenge to ease out from those demeaning constraints; a challenge to grow you; a challenge to thrive above expectation and believe me, You will.
Your path is rough now, but I want You to see it as an abstracted advantage to build you cos You definitely out to be the best thing that ever happened. don't give up, rather get up.
My dear, you need to love yourself and stand strong for yourself.
ReplyDeleteBe determined to be great. Focus all your thoughts and energy towards being great. Strive to prove to yourself and the whole world that you can be great.
Note: YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN LIMIT THE HEIGHT YOU CAN ATTAIN.
What Stella said could be the reason why your mum is treating you that way. Poster it could be that why you are not making it is that you accepted to be the failure your mum called you.
ReplyDeleteYou have to work on your mind set first, let your mum be for now. Stop looking for mother's love when all you need is to see the good in you. Not everyone is lucky to enjoy mother's love, I believe you are the reason for your failure. You got admission but allow what your mum said to you to bring you out of school. Prayers without action s useless.
If your prayers has been soft prayers, is time to pray dangerous prayers, let him that want my downfall to die. If some people don't give way, you may not become who you are created to be. If your mother is not wishing you way is high time you face her with prayers and physical confrontation to know what you did that she cannot forgive you. I hate rubbish, se should have killed you then that this suffering.
Your mother may not have had any affair. Some mothers just don't like particular children. I know because my mother is exactly like that. Remaining small, she would have wrecked my marriage. I grew up praying and waiting to be told that I was adopted. Unfortunately, I am not adopted. I overheard her and my father plotting to kill me; two days later, my father died instead. My own mother will call people to tell them that I'm not worthy of receiving anything good, especially if she knows they're already planning to do something good for me. She will entertain anyone she sees trying to do me evil. I didn't know this last part till I prayed and asked God to "show me the secret of my life" cos there were just some things that weren't making sense.
ReplyDeletePoster, my advice:
1) Consider yourself an orphan and face God. Don't fight with or abuse or engage her. You don't fight, abuse or engage with what doesn't exist. This may sound harsh but if you zero your mind that you're an orphan, you are freed from the burden of having any expectations where your parents are concerned. Read and meditate on Psalm 27:10 till it permeates your spirit. Tell God to adopt you as His own child cos you have no parent to speak for you.
2) Ask God for favour and direction. Let Him show what He wants you to do with your life and how to go about it.
3) If you want to go to school, don't give up whether it's Open University or conventional/regular university.
4) Bear in mind that your mother will not change so don't set yourself up in the name of forgiveness. Forgive her so that your mind will be free but do not expect a relationship with her. Whatever you can COMFORTABLY do for her, do. But don't kill yourself. Stop trying to prove anything to her, a child should never have to prove anything to their parent. Stop begging for her love and acceptance cos it will not happen and the earlier you get used to it, the better for you.
This is really sad. Nobody deserves to go through what you've gone through, especially from a caregiver, a mother at that. This is the time for you to be strong for yourself, act like you're all you've got (you're actually all you've got). Make legitimate money, no job is too small, its a temporal thing. Save up some money and stay far from such hatred. When you are able to stand on your feet, go and see your father, let him tell you things you don't know (be wise, because he will likely tell you a one sided and incomplete story). You also need psychological help, until you find yourself, you probably shouldn't go into relationships yet. If you're a religious person, you also need spiritual help. You are far worth more than she ever made you feel, change the narrative!
ReplyDeletePoster I’m so sorry about this and I can tell you are not alone as I have found myself in a similar situation. Your mum berates you because maybe when you were young she tried to inflict spiritual injury on your dad and you poured or broke the juju before it could take effect. This kind of battle is called (ogun inu eje) battle of bloodline and mother has very great powers on a child’s. You are a glorious child and you need to look inwards in yourself, you have talents(both physically and spiritually) that you haven’t discovered . I will advice you go to a good celestial church, I can recommend parishes in lagos and Ibadan, run away from your mum, join a unit in church and stay in church for while. Pray without ceasing because these kind of battles will keep transferring you from one battle to another. Your mother wants to mortgage your glory but remind GOD that he is the one who created you. I pray you find help that gives you financial freedom. Talk to your father too, let him help you. Do white fast and pray like that’s the only thing you breath. All the best
ReplyDeletecelestian church, poster I forbid that for you. a lot of them are demonic, worshipping angel Michael and other demons they claim to see vision from. bathing by river side, using egg and all kinds of stuff. the way some of their women dance in church you can tell the spirit of lust is at work...sorry if you are offended oh but i have no apologies and speak my truth.
Deleteposter just go to any bible believing Pentecostal church or your own church and tell them your pains. they will pray with you. the reason you also need to pray for yourself and read your bible is so you will know if the pastors are trying to be funny or not i.e just after money, sex etc...if they tell you what they think they say go home and ask God to also confirm to you.. above all just believe you are better than your current situation
Forgive your mother, avoid harbouring hatred or revenge on your heart. Never allow your mother's spiteful words to define you. Move on, be close to God and he will favour you. You are not a product of infidelity most likely you have physical resemblance to your Dad.
ReplyDeleteYou and I are in the same WhatsApp group. Forget what anybody says, it takes only who wears the shoe to know where and how it pinches.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had someone to tell me the things I know now, maybe I would have handled mine better.
First, you need an escape plan. Start planning your independence so you can distance yourself from this woman. Avoid her as much as possible. Stop confiding in her. Mine is even manipulative join. So you can imagine how messed up my life was. She pretends to love me but stung me at the slightest opportunity. Your daylight witch of a mother is better o. And I think that makes it easier for you as you have a justified reason to avoid her. Mine was as gentle as dove. Everybody thought i was mad. It may take years but start planning your escape. Just find a way to survive whether dignified or streetwise. I hope you're not one of those people who have judged people (you didn't know what they were experiencing) of doing whatever they could to survive? Ok, welcome on board ma. Nigeria is a worse terrain to survive in. Being a Nigerian itself is one problem on it's own. You better adopt street sense on time and stop the holier than thou mentality. Just survive.
Don't judge her(or any other person) however. C'est la vie. Forgive her for whatever she has done in the past but don't forget. Just become a better person, improve your morals, trust in God and pray harder. Do good so that good can come to you. Don't wish evil on anyone. Learn to be kind, polite and courteous.
This is not the time to be running from pillar to post, telling everybody your predicament, seeing shrinks and all that... Everybody has a problem. You're vulnerable and people will exploit you.
Keep your circle of friends close and reduce social media presence to avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
Get at least one trusted friend. I prefer a guy if you're a girl. Stop telling people your secrets though. You just need someone who will be there for you through thick and thin. Make sure they've been tested and trusted though.
Establish better relationship with your father. If you show maturity and wisdom you might get financial help from him.
Forget all those cheap blackmail anybody might want to use against you. Especially Yoruba mothers. I do say and believe that those laws(religious or traditional) will only hold if parents keep up their end of the agreement.
Stop craving your mother's love. It will destroy you. Family is a mere privilege my dear. It is overrated and I'm sure you know now. Although, some people will disagree because they cannot imagine it. I do tell them to ask families who have used either a spouse, child or parent for money rituals. No be only for Africa magic he dey happen. Anyways, consider yourself an orphan. Consider your father as your mother's sibling who adopted you. Relate with him, the way you would such an uncle. Why did I say that? Such people, we have no expectations from because they are not our biological parents and owe us nothing, yet we find a way of managing them in a way that we selfishly get the best out of them especially financially. And see your siblings as his children (your cousins). Relate with them that way.
Have survival instincts, henceforth. Your success in life is your best revenge against your mother.
And stop all these pity party. People experience worse situations. That's the only way you can liberate yourself. Stop seeing yourself as an invalid. Nothing do you abeg!
Poster, see life na one. Stop trying to figure out why your mom was acting like a crazy person, that one is truly not your business. At this point you should forget her and find your way in life. Stop contacting her and get some peace of mind
ReplyDeleteYou need to see a spiritualist. You are suffering for things beyond you and may continue to suffer if nothing is done. If possible seek a strong Igbe priest to help you. People may criticize this advice but your life and well being is at stake. Imagine people who copy from you passing while you fail. You think its ordinary? Or the lack of help and relationships? Wake up NOW..
ReplyDeleteYour Mum is possessed abeg. you need someone to help you stand a little. its a spiritual battle. try to learn a trade and be a member of a church , like Christ Embassy helps their own, or try other churches that are good. in doing so, plssssssssssss close ya legs , dont allow anyone use you.
ReplyDeleteYou said it all...Best revenge is to be successful!!!
ReplyDeletePoster I'm so sorry for all you've been through. It must have been traumatic for you. But reading your story, it struck me that you have a bright future which the enemy working through your family wants to thwart. I want to remind you of what God says about people like you in Psalm 27:10 - My father and mother may abandon me, but the LORD will take care of me. Another translation says - For my father and my mother have forsaken me, But the LORD will take me up. This is God's promise to you young soul and you need to start claiming it for yourself through prayer. Don't hate your mother or father for they are under the influence of a hateful spirit and lack the love and light of God in their hearts so they can't give it to you. Pray for them and if you can, as soon as you are able to, move out and find a good and decent friend to stay with while you look for a job or a trade to learn. You did not state your age but I believe you are grown now and can take care of yourself. Don't continue to live under your mother's dark shadow. She has made her choices whatever they were and you shouldn't suffer for them. Your future is bright and God has wonderful things in store for you. If you need someone to talk to, click my ID and email me or get in touch with any youth counsellor at a good church. Most importantly, PRAY PRAY PRAY that God's plans for your life will be fulfilled. Prayers work wonders. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, the kind of hatred your mum has for you is the same type I experienced with my mum..Its a spiritual battle. Do midnight prayer and ask God to fight for you .
ReplyDeleteWhen I read where you were asked by a pastor to buy lace for her to pray for you I could relate as I was told to buy an expensive wrapper for my mum but when I called her that I am getting her a wrapper was surprised she sounded shocked and told me she dosen't need it that I should send her the money. Anyway I have refused to appease her and stopped calling her or picking her calls . The battle is the Lord's. God is fighting for me.
this is where some of you lack wisdom. they said buy an expensive lace for your mum did they ask you to call her? do you not know diabolical people see things in the spiritual? you should have just bought something you think she will like and prayed over it then send to her or take it home and keep in her room. that lace will be a point of contact and break her hold over you.. next time you get a prophetic instruction like that pray for wisdom on how to go about it.
DeleteCut her off sharply, including your siblings, dont let them know anything about you. Keep matured friends, find a church that helps e.g Catholic
ReplyDeleteAsk your mum if your dad is actually your dad because from your story it appears maybe you are a result of rape or extra marital affairs but it's not your fault anyway. There must be people your mum respect maybe pastors or her boss in her office, you can speak to them but most importantly cry to God to remove any curse on you because HE alone has the power and lastly be positive and focused.
ReplyDeleteFor cases like u, it's why nigeria needs to promote adoption for unwanted, orphaned, abandoned & those kids who r unfortunate to come from circumstances, situations or homes that is not good for the child's best interest & future development!
ReplyDeleteSorry there's no sentiments required about it.
It is the gospel truth. Clearly many people today from nigeria will not be suffering, hopeless, in anguish if they had a chance for a better life in a loving home, no matter how humble the adoptive parent is, as long as they r stable, genuine, open to accept & support a child with unconditional love. U see so many girls having random babies, women caught in adulterous affairs, kids caught up in domestic violence where they r made to feel threatened & abused, traumatised, permanently scarred in adulthood from the harmful effects of bad life inflicted on them during childhood.
I'm afraid the society is stagnated with psychos & dangerous people who r risk to the entire soceity.
Forget about the asoebi party thing, "fake happiness" things & facade to cover up the internal bleeding in the hearts & mind of Nigerians. It is time to start talking about these things & open discussion of hidden stigma, abuse in the nigerian homes.
There's a huge gap now in the media broadcast & public education for abuse in the nigerian homes & other hidden issues not openly acknowledged. Maybe this time for a Nigerian Oprah to take the stage & bring these things out in a powerful way!!!
Poster, it seems your mother was raped by someone close to your parents and that you are the result of that rape... Get coded and do a thorough investigation of Your dad and mom without yhem ever suspecting. Use the pastor if need be. Seek the truth quietly, it shall set you free.
ReplyDeleteCut yourself off from your mother and even father who has refused to reach out to you. You deserve better. Make yourself scarce so you can be missed. Don't use love to win her over. It won't work now. Try and work on your pshyce. U need to change it. U grew up feeling less then nothing. U need to know and always remember that you are better than that. Work on yourself first. Relationship will come and stay. Remember the way u see yourself is perceived by others. Let them know u are worth being with. If you feel and see yourself like nothing then that's exactly what men will see too. Cheers. Wish you the best
ReplyDeletePoster, you are the product of an affair. For the fact that your "father" never paid for your fees, taken responsibility for your well being, it means that you are the product of your mother's affair.
ReplyDeleteShe treating you the way she does is her hating herself. She probably fucked some doctor in the hospital for a better life and the doctor dumped her. When she tried to pin it on your "father" it failed. So now the only way she can deal with her irresponsible behaviour is to mistreat you the way your biological father did her.
Your mother is a whore and you are a product of that. She is shameless and you need to get rid of her. Stay the fuck away from her. She is an irresponsible whore.