What is the experience like?Good or bad?Something you would do again in the next lifetime?
When I just relocated to Germany to meet hubby dearest,we didnt have much starting off as young couple so we lived in one of the luxury small flats that belonged to my parents in law...It was close to where they lived and my hubby is the last child and somewhat his mums fave child...so you can imagine!!!
I couldn't cook,wash or clean as they wanted to do it all....I had no privacy and his parents almost killed/choked me with love.....I didn't understand that kind of love coming from a Country where our parents do not even tell us they love us........
Back then I complained behind closed doors a lot but now i miss all the good times with them..It is something I would wish for again...My In laws are not the best and neither am I!!!
What's your story?
I didn't live with anybody and nobody should come and live with me abeg i don't Ave power for trouble..
ReplyDeleteLol. Abi ooo
DeleteStella, you know one thing I sincerely love you. This is coming from a woman. You are always real and true.
DeleteGod bless you, ure an inspiration to many.
I've had issues with my MIL who usually comes from Nigeria thanks to my BILs wife who thought mama wasn't nice to her for over 9years and accepted me just like that and she turned everyone against me. She and mama para po and started saying bad things but I've been in the marriage now 8yrs and Gods been my source.
Apologies don gather but I've decided to be friends but stay on my own, I don't like wahala.
Bianca.. 😄😄😄same here oo
DeleteIts not something I wished for but it happened.
ReplyDeleteI live with my in-laws in the same compound but we are at the Boys quarters of two bedroom. My in-laws are enlightened with no issues. They respect themselves and boundaries and don't just barge in. My husband too made it clear to them that he is a marrier man now and I think those words alone sent the messages to them.
My mother inlaw and I are paddies. Except you are told am a daughter in-law, you would think am their real daughter at first visit.
We have been together for close to a year now and everything is great. The environment is cool too and beautiful and while my husband wants us to still go out and rent ours, I see no reason to do that cos paying rent in Lagos no be beans
Better rent a place elsewhere..
DeleteYou better wake up aunty,pack your load and go now. AHH Han!!!! So that you part in good ways. Move to your own place,before see finish go enter.
DeleteAwoof dey run belle o.
DeleteI would advise that you move out now that you're in good terms, now that your in-laws will respect you before see finish enter
DeleteI think you should still plan to move out as you never know tomorrow. I am a MIL and one of my sons lives in the guest houses with his wife. I am hardly ever in the country and they are pretty much left alone and can do as they please even entertaining their friends sometimes in the main house. Even when grandchildren come I have made it plain that I am happy to baby sit once in a while and pay for a nanny as I love, love my freedom. As much as I love having my son around and I am dreading them leaving, for their own self respect, it is better if they do leave.
DeleteIt's just one year babe,u can still move out..ve bn there & done that shit..d earlier d better for u guys to move cos Layla na quarrel and wth bad belle u go take moveout..
DeleteD earlier the better for you to move out,just one year pere!laslas na fight to move u oooo
DeleteI want to kill my husband and no body should tell me jack! until you've walked in my shoes.
ReplyDeleteDon't come and preach anything to me either!
You are not in my situation and don't have an inkling!!! he must die I'm just thinking of how to make it look unsuspicious.
Tamper with his brakes? Or poison him with virus from my lab.
Don't do it.
DeleteDo it
DeleteMLS assassin..please how do I forward my CV to your lab? They'll be needing a virologist when you go to jail
DeletePls be calm. Prayer changes things. trust God
Delete@Iuleha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeletePlease don’t kill your husband, whatever you are going through right now shall pass, in 20 years time you will not remember this hurt, it’s better to leave the marriage than have blood on your hands. Killing him will only make you evil.
DeletePlease separate from him now, life goes on and true love will always find you when your hands are clean. I will be praying for you.
Una see reason why i no like medical practitioners? you want to poison anoda persons child. Pls leave the marriage if its that bad, dont take life that you cant create.
DeleteMy in law stays in a different country from ours. They are really nice people for I don't have to walk on eggshells when they are around. Having them around also is fun and not a chore.
ReplyDeleteI dont think i would have been able to live with inlaws. I like my space a lot.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in high school, my cousin go married and had to live with her in law because they live in same town where her university is. I went to visit her and I ran back home. She was pregnant and she was the one washing clothes and pounding yam. They didn't allow me help her. I had to leave because i couldnt bear it.
We love privacy oo
DeleteImmediately we are stepping in, it's nakedness
Hubby was even saying hope we will cope when children start coming.
Yes ooo privacy is key @Olori
DeleteAre you me? Am I you? Nakedness in the house is bae. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteKikikikiki.. ...15:30,we are same 😂😂😂
DeleteSwaggie 👌👌👌👌
My wife and my mum gang up against me all the time when she is in the country. They always have something to gist about. it's been nine years and no single complain from my wife, even when I try to complain to her that my mum did this and that she will simply say leave her alone you know she is getting old. Me I miss my privacy oo especially walking around naked, now I can't even do that in our room because of my little angel daughter, she is a year and four months old.
DeleteMe and my husband's nakedness at home no get part 2. I love it die.
DeleteI have an in-law staying with me,they pushed him to me as per school. No wahala after this first year he must move to the hostel. Iv already told my husband I don't want any wahala. Letvhim go and live with his mates. Very lazy boy even though I have taught him to be responsible by force. I no come this life for anybody. His mother is already preparing to send another child,I'm waiting for her.
How do you all manage to walk around naked whether when alone or with your spouse?
DeleteCharity e dey sweet die. Hot stew don burn my stomach sef unto naked matters
DeleteAlright Swaggie
DeleteI don't like wearing cloth but only do that in my room now because of the boys living with us, my hubby is a business man and i can't help it
DeleteI live with one,she isn't great but not bad. Everything that happens in the house, she go carry give her family. All the full gist,if I quarrel with hubby and all. They don't bother me but just the simple lack of privacy is what I miss. I am praying I get a job out of my state of residence I don fly leave them. Let them enjoy the home. Me I need some privacy. That is all
ReplyDeleteI have never lived with in laws
ReplyDeleteGo there December 24 return home 26
What I have come to understand in this journey is that no matter how good or nice you are to in-laws and no matter how much they care, their children comes first.
My paternal grandparents lived with us at old age and my mom did a good job.May they all rest in peace.
Yes olori, I support the part where you said no matter how good you are to them, their children comes first
DeleteMummy MAA ♥♥♥
DeleteHappy Mother's Day babe... Kisses to MAA
Hnnmm I agree with you and that's why one should know his or her boundary as a daughter or son in-law to avoid any form of bad blood even if they treat you like their own.
DeleteThanks my love. 😍😍
DeleteMy sister has the most wicked and terrible in-laws in the whole wide world.
ReplyDelete����♀️����♀️����♀️����♀️����♀️
As slut wey you be, supposing one of those "wicked in-laws"
Deletethroway 100k dollars ya way and want fork, you go sell?
Ajuju n' ese okwu??
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
Kwakwakwakwakwa 😅😅😅😅😅😅
DeleteI no dey live with my in-laws. Them dey live very far and I miss my
ReplyDeletemama in law well well. She be very nice woman, she dey make me laugh
well well. Anytime my friends Naija girls throway bombs, na she dey comfort me
with laughter.
I siddon dey wait for the winches stories from Naija 21st century wives;
Them MIL na chief winch -if she visit them go dash am slaps😲😲😲😲
SILs na junior winches
BILs na fork paddies
All the other in laws na village people
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
I lived with my in-laws when I was newly married and d experience is not what I will wish on my enemy.at at that time hubby was d only married child with five siblings and mum in law who believes a wife should do all d house chores.father in law was late den.and poor me was still naive with no job den bcos I moved to their town after marriage and had to leave with dem.we eventually packed out after two years with quarrel and lots of fight.till date dt affected our relationship.although d other siblings are now married now.dey all ensured dey rent an apartment before their wedding so none of their wives stayed at the family house even for one day unlike me the first wife dt stayed two years.hubby is d first son and has five younger brothers who doesn't do anything in d house den.even wen we moved out of the house then to our apartment dey use to come in announced almost daily. But wen hubby travelled out den I used d opportunity to look for job in my parent's city and moved from their town back to mine dt was the only saving grace. Now I am ore matured and happier. We only see once in a while now if their is functiin/ owambe. Anytime I remember all what I went through in dt house I get unhappy. Bcos of what I went through in my own extended family and lady dt wants to marry d elders will make it compulsory for d husband to be to rent a small apartment without dt no marriage.my own situation has taught Dem dt dey will even say if it's a room u can rent do it and no family house.
ReplyDeleteMy in-laws from his mother's place are horrible people. They now sent one small wizard to come and be tormenting me. I'm glad he's out of my house.
ReplyDeleteLol @ small wizard. OMG 😔🙄😂😂🤣🤣😂😂
DeletePlease and please intending couples, even if its one room go and rent and manage. Its not a good experience at all. In my own case, we had our own apartment but four months into our marriage robbers came to the house at night to rob us. There were two flats in the compound and my neighbor was a bank manager, so we believed they came for him. They took away few valuable things we had but took away lots of things from the manager. It wasn't a nice experience at all. The following day the bank manager packed out without even collecting his rent balance from the landlord. That was when my in-law advised that in the main time we should move to their house because I was really in shock for some days after the the whole theif incident o. That was the greatest mistake in my marriage. The see finish was just too much. I was already three months gone then and his parents wanted me to wake up as early as 5am to start sweeping and making breakfast. Me that was still battling with morning sickness that immediately I enter the kitchen, I must vomit due to food aroma or anything. I married a mummy's boy even when I complained he wouldn't do anything. My in-law were fault finders, always complaining even to the dress I wear. Father in- law saying ' is this your cloth not too tight?' When I was going for shopping for baby's things, mother in-law insisted she will help me to buy them because i might not know the original things, hehehe my own baby's things o. It got to a point I told hubby oya let's go back to our house. After all we have our own place. The day we left they were grumbling, me I didn't even look at their faces.
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...I had the best mil,she just died without allow me take care of her very well,I so much miss her and our gist.
ReplyDeleteI love my privacy a lot! I've never lived with my in-laws, I tend visiting this Christmas which will be for a few days and to thy tent O Cynthia.
ReplyDeleteI do not stay with my inlaws but her place isn’t far from ours, but my mil is what I call double trouble, she comes around every other day, everybody around her complain about her character, my fil always stylishly ask if she isn’t giving me troubles (they are divorced), all my hubby’s workers complain about her. Anytime she is around I do not feel comfortable in my own house, I have to walk on eggshells because she must complain about one thing or the other, she will open the pots to check what we cooked, check the refrigerator, anytime she sees new thing she will ask me how much and when did we buy it, she wants to know everything going on with us....i got tired of the marriage, it was hell for me and anytime I complain to my hubby he will tell me there is nothing he can do that I just have to tolerate her.
ReplyDeleteOn one of her trips, I and hubby had an argument in her presence(argument that was irrelevant). Hubby hit me and I retaliated, that is how she started telling people about that am a bad wife, I wasn’t properly trained, that I didn’t have any right to hit my husband back even if he hits me first, she insulted my parents....said all sort of things that I can’t remember. she denied that she saw my husband hit me first. She told my husband to tell me to leave the next day that another time it might be her I will beat, because my husband didn’t do that, she doesn’t come around anymore, she doesn’t call me, when I greet her, she doesn’t respond well, she even told hubby i must not come to her place. Who cares anyways, now that she has stopped coming, I and hubby doesn’t have arguments or fights anymore, we now live like one happy family.
Though if she comes around I will still give her all the respect she deserves but am glad she has stopped coming unannounced.
I really hope you both have stopped hitting each other.
DeleteMy husband packed his siblings into my house within a month of marriage. Including a pregnant one. Meanwhile his parents lived in the same Lagos. Upon that even his parents will come for weeks. It was hellish. All these Igbo families with inferiority complex and a false sense of entitlement. And the worst was that my husband will leave me and go out everyday from morning till night. So after work I will come home and start cooking and cleaning. No one told me, I had to forget my naivety and start opening eye for them. One finally got married and they all slowly started moving out.
ReplyDeleteWhat nonsense. Na why i no like marry Igbo man.
DeleteInlays or not,Living with people is not easy.you think I flow very well with this person then you start living together and Boom you begin to receive bad energies.The only thing you should do is endure one another although some cases are to the extreme and in such cases find your level for sanity sake.
ReplyDeleteI stay with my in-laws and my husband has traveled outside and he told his family that he has no feelings for me again because we argue,because of that they don't respect me,my husband doesn't call anymore. I have not heard from him for a very line,he only calls his sister. I don't know when he will come back. hmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteMy God. Things dey happen oo.
DeleteI suggest you tell your parents or relatives about the breakdown of communication in your marriage...let them can a family meeting and he should call in from abroad to say what his intentions are for the marriage so you know how to proceed with your life.
DeleteDon't keep quiet and waste away in his family house, ask for a meeting to know your faith and whatever he says will help you plan how to move on with your life....don't let fear or shame of "where will I go if he says he his no longer interested" make you keep quite and waste away in his family house like a furniture...CALL FOR THAT MEETING NOW TO KNOW YOUR FAITH.
LEP😛
Madam please what are you still doing in that house? Pack out first while still trying to mend things with your husband. You're the outsider in that house.
DeleteWetin dey worry us women and marriage slavery? Imagine sitting like and duck waiting to be slaughtered when the time is right. Let me tell u eh u will die there nobody go send. Go back to your family and let them return bride price asap. How old are you playing the waiting will. That was how and friend's aunt got trapped in a similar marriage & wasted are youth on the devil for more than a decade. When the asswipe decides to call is to accuse her of cheating on him yet be won't come down from the so called abroad to see his wife. No child nothing, she left the marriage in her 40s when man did not call her for more than 2years. She eventually died childless because of frustration.
DeleteMadam pack your bags and go to your parents place, abroad husband make you dey form loyal wife, live that place immediately and get yourself occupied. You deserve better than this hell hole marriage you are in. Live now and take back your destiny from these evil destiny killers.
This advice "love.eating " gave you is the best.Don't ever try to pack out on your own. Let there be a family meeting where your husband will say his mind.
DeleteI guess you don't have kids yet the more reason he is behaving this way.I repeat never get angry and leave the house on your own there must be a meeting
Chinwe Uba
This past Easter would have been my Marriage to a baby who thinks he is an adult.He had already proposed n I accepted. After a month or so,dude insisted i'll stay with his 2 single older sisters in their one bedroom apartment in Aba.
ReplyDeleteSee me that has always lived in at least 3 bedroom apartments all my life.No be small matter oo..I thought he was joking.Mind you, he only assisted the sister with 100k for the rent.That eehn once the baby come ,he'll rent a 3 bedroom apartment for the 3 of us (I and his sisters)he resides outside Naija ;where we ll have a room each so they ll be able to look after me n all that ..Look after me cuz I'm a baby ni ?And ll also quit my job n wait till he decides on the business ll do..this was someone who didn't let me rest with the promise of Masters abroad..he halted that as well..No be persin borrow me brain..abeg..I like my space..see finish is a big issue..Especially with the sisters that like poke nosing like mad..I tell am make in free me..U were testing me..Continue...My own na Exam..which u also failed...
Wow!!How do u cope ??I mean financially,emotionally,physically and otherwise.??Hope u'v been praying over the matter?U can meet a strong seer,pastor or Prophet.U can also buy Kayanmata products..the good ones work well..the are sold on IG and offline..to call back his attention to u..He might be married to a white lady Over there..Have crave your plan B before u waste all your productive years waiting on a man whose feelings is elsewhere..
ReplyDeleteMy house is no longer mine, as my inlaws are claiming it's a family house.
ReplyDeleteThey pop in anytime they like without informing me. No privacy at all.
Sorry..
DeleteI have oh,and it's not a pleasant experience. But right now no more.
ReplyDelete@unknown,you have to act fast o.
ReplyDeleteAs a married woman whose husband is no longer attracted to.
Go and find out what the problem is(spiritually).If its something you can handle,try your best or else,move on and consider yourself a single lady.
This life is too short to allow someone to make you miserable all in the name of marriage.
Dont you have parents?
Domt you have a back up plan?
My dear,think think and think fast!!!!
I don’t want to imagine living with my in-laws. They are already horrible from a distance. The worst in-laws anyone can have, I don’t wish them on my worst enemy
ReplyDeleteI don't have parents Inlaw. Only SIL outside the country. Every body on their own, I love my space abeg. I can't be thinking of what I'll fix for my kids and any other person. It's a big work I can't deal.
ReplyDeleteI live and still leaving with my in-laws I can tell you it's the worst thing a woman should do. The see finish must come even if they show you all the love in this world. A w
ReplyDeleteI have my hubby's older sis and her 20 something year old son living with me for the past 5 months. It was cool at first then gossip with her siblings on how I don't cook food spoilt the whole thing. Me that have 4 kids and a business to attend with no househelp. Their sense of entitlement is out of this world.
ReplyDeleteI have told her severally to fix something for herself and her son. And they stay at home 24 hours a day.
It's already affecting my relationship with hubby as I have told him severally to allow them go to their house which is located in the same city as ours.
I am really tired as neither the son nor her lift a finger to assist in house chores. Always in the room to be served but I have stopped. When you are hungry, come get food at the kitchen.
Common sense will not tell her to allow us space and privacy. I am really fed up with the whole thing. Marriage and baggage...
Continue serving them.eeeehh..u never tire...By the time I lock up for them eeerr..they go no say things Don change.....foolish in-laws
DeleteYour Husband is the problem. i trust my younger broda, he go don pursue me
Deletehmmm, I have termed my house a place of refuge for inlaws. please and please you have to spell out your rules immediately they come over if not yu will be a stranger inside your own house.
ReplyDeleteI have by the Grace of God 5 of my inlaws and it has not been easy but I tell you , I had to learn some life lesson through it all.
The first person that came was with his wife, and me and husband decided that we will help them get work so that they can moved out quickly ,so we gave them six months to stand on their own, so they ended up standing one year and not willing to go, imagine feeding a couple(working class) in this buhari economy, in the first month they wanted to contribute but we declined so t hey don't give excuses of not having enough money when its time to move,i expected them to take up an expenses even if its as little as filling the gas, but they used the excuse of our initial decline to wait on us to the least expenses as low as purchase of matches stick for putting on fire.we later found our the small chop chop like biscuit and groundnut we buy, you will imagine the way they will take it ehmmm, I now entered their rooms and I saw wraps of biscuits, bread etc they ate, so I recive sense and told my husbby we have to start keeping ours in the room.to wash their own bathroom and toilet is a problem, me too show dem pepper because I cant see and not talk. they finally left after a year. as that they were going it was barely two months another one came again, the first day he came I cooked and packed the plates, the second day he ate and left the plate, I called him to pack and wash his plate, that was the beginning of my trouble with him, he wont wash the toilet, bedsheets will be so date and the room will be unkempt he will be giving excuse and on top of all this he has a stinking body odour, I told him straight to his face to go and shave his armpit. later he didn't tell me his wife was coming to join him, he just suddenly told me the wife is on her way already.. like seriously who does that? I told him straight his wife cant come and join him ooooooo, that one ended staying like 8month before he went to get a place of his...... another came like 2 months after again.... that one stayed like 6months before he travelle d out......another came again and again...... me sef don try for the whole wahala asif myhouse na pilgrimage ground.
IMPORTANT NOTICE
1. SET OUT YOUR RULES AND LET THEM KNOW, THEY MAY JUST FROWN THEY WILL ADJUST
2.DONT START WHAT YOU CANT CONTINUE, AND NO MATTE HOW NICE YOU THINK YOU ARE THEY WILL STILL TAKE ABOUT YOU EITHER POSIITVELY OR NEGATIVITY.
on MIL I have met with her in the early years of marriage but when we finally met, I was nice with her and I kept my boundaries even with SIL. but they can be a pain in the neck ooooooooooooooo
Nawa
ReplyDelete