Very often, you will see ladies who make the fathers of their children look like monsters. The said father may be the best father the child ever wished for, but, the mothers' hurt will not let the fathers have the opportunity to show the child that love. Many years ago, a certain wife of a Nigerian career diplomat, posted to East Africa, had a messy and sour marriage. It was a very popular case.
The woman resorted to making sure she flung all kinds of dirt at the Diplomat. She even asked the Nigerian Government to recall him and dismiss him. While she was all out to ruin him. She forgot that her children were depending on their father's support to make a headway in life. The Solomonic dilemma came to play again. If I can't have him, then let me mess his career up.
The truth is that if you think about it, the only time it's ok, to deny the father of your child access to the child and by so doing, denying the father an opportunity to play a role in the child's life, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH THE FATHER, you are using your reggae to spoil the child's blues. No one stops you from being upset. And in deed, no one can stop you from venting. But if in the process of doing that vexing, don't let that mess up the relationship the child will have with the father.
In summary, If you know you cannot give the child or children, the kind of life they deserve, and you know the father can give them, all they need, don't block their access to him. But if you can do better than him, ignore the guy and move on.
Don't give yourself unnecessary pressure. If the father has and can give, don't block him from being the father. You can do more with all the assistance. Even if you are Oprah Winfrey
My mum hated me because my Dad loved me so much. She would lie against me and say things I never did. There are lots and it caused me depression. Continue to Rest on Peace Dad. I love you so much.
ReplyDeleteWitch of mothers. They hate competition forgetting a child needs more love
DeleteMy mum never deprived my dad of his children but he was just a useless thing. Did he get away with it? Yes
DeleteUnfortunately my mum struggled taking care of 5children all the way to University but died when it was time to enjoy the fruit of her labour.
@ Fan, please come and read these comments.
DeleteMadam radical for Obatala come and use 911 truck to carry your shade this early mormor..😁😁😁😁😁
ReplyDeleteThat one na radical for ayamatanga
Delete😁😁😁😁😁😁@ayamatanga. Watch her supporters come for our heads😝😝😝
DeleteRadical is typing 😂😂😂😂
DeleteRadical for Amadioha
DeleteLike I said she's radical for Sango cos that lady just spits out fire not thinking it will burn her down one day 🤷🏾🤣
DeleteAs in eeh. Tonto isn't doing well at all. I have a broken home too with a child. I suffered terrible domestic violence. I didn't even have a job back then. I left and he wasn't there for us, I didn't spit fireyears passed and I kept calling for school fees even when he wasn't complying I kept reminding him. Suddenly he started paying just the school fees. I have divorced him properly. We co parent in peace. I have a job now but not as rich as him. Every one asked me to keep my child away from him but no, he has equal rights too, I may not be able to give the child what he can offer. I haven't died yet and I am not as rich as radical.
DeleteAnon 14:22 That does not make you a better person than toto because you handled your shit differently.
DeleteNigerians should stop this attitude of comparison and concluding the person is bad because of their actions or inactions. There is beauty in diversity. Both of your cases are different no matter the similarities with different individuals. Thank God you are in a better place now.
Tonto will be Las Las.
Thank you anonymous 15:19.please and please leave people alone and stop comparing your strength in certain areas of your life might be ones weakness and vice versa.you do you and I do I.
DeleteI hope no bitter woman will come here to disagree with this.
ReplyDeleteThey're typing.
DeleteWhere is bitter women crew? Awon FINNY,Mrs aboki & co. They can support tonto even if she commits murder.
DeleteHian Hianer Hianest
ReplyDeleteI'm just passing by ooh.
In fact I close my eyes dey waka pass fast fast.
Nobody should pull me back ooh.
I hope Tonto has rededicated her life to Christ in Church today, if not......
People that know me well were suprised I chose to have a baby out of wedlock but the most asked question has been.” What was ur criterion for choosing him as ur daughters father”? My answer. He WILL make a wonderful father to my baby 👶 . Boy was I right? 💯 %. R we cool? Noooooo my Anaconda stubbornness won’t allow peace bw us, he loves his daughter to the moon and back and I don’t block his visitations
ReplyDeleteNo matter how hurt u r, blocking a natural flow of love bw father child or mother and child is a curse upon you. After all Bible made it clear. LOVE is the greatest thing on Earth.
Life u don’t know wen u will die??? Pple r funny, u will now die and God will question u on top ur stupidity! The only time I support blocking is if the guy is the one hurt and he is taking the anger on d kids or if he is not of good behavior ard the kids( smoking, drinking, sexual deviant , use of bad words) . If he exhibits such rubbish ard your kids. Pls block him other than that , u have no right to prevent a child his right to love either parent
ReplyDeleteWhat about when the guy is not ready to contribute to the child's upkeep and education when he has the means ? Don't you think it's enough ground to block him and move on with your child. Some of these guys are evil and they play their game very well. Most times, them not contributing financially to the upkeep and education of the child is their own silent way of dealing with you, mind you, they will be fluanting to your face.
Delete@11.18. Use wisdom, God will open ur own means. Just look into ur heart and take d decision with LOVE.
Delete@12:21 thanks for the advice. I actually took the financial responsibility without drama and moved on with my child as God continues to provide for me. Just that nobody talks about that type of ill treatment. Though I have given the condition with which I will allow him into her life(become financially involved). Me, I have nothing against him aside that.
DeleteOne thing i want every individual to learn is,,u need not creat a distance between ur kids n ur dia father vice versa..if you do good n ur partner repaid u with bad,remember the kids has to be closer to their dad or mum.
ReplyDeleteMy mum poisoned me so much, eo as not to love my dad due to some things cuz they parted ways when i was so tender at the court.the court rules that,my dad should always pay a certain amount of money to mums account which he never did but all dsame,am grown up and i still love him,since have gotten to know my dad,,after so many years, he would also want to poison me over my mum even till date but all dsame,i love both and non can put wedge in between
Did you read what you wrote?
DeleteThe court asked him to pay certain amount and he never did.
I am sure your mom must have gone through a lot just to raise you but see your mouth like "my mom tried to poison my mind"
If she has dumped you like your father did, would you be here today to write such ?
Love your father all you want but you better carry your mother on your head like akara. She is a king
KING XOXO MYSTERY
You're so silly. Your mum should have abandoned you too.
DeleteIngrate
May your children do worse to you than you are doing to a woman who gave you life while your innocent father abandoned your sorry ass. Such an ungrateful child, I am sure you are not married. Marriage will teach you some manners.
DeleteIt is you that gave that idiot father of yours the guts to want to side talk your mum in your presence.
DeleteIf you kept him where he was meant to be, he would be lost in apology to find time to talk ill about your mum. For you to even listen to him talk trash about your mum is a shame on you and all the effort and sleepless nights the poor woman went through. She should have abandoned your silly ass on the streets. Anumanu. Bad child
Tonto carry basin and bucket come
ReplyDeleteJulliet Ibrahim is a perfect example of wherever the wind blows. She stands for nothing. You can't like a tonto's comment and then like an alibaba's comment this is a perfect example of serving two master's at the same time. The only person that will get hurt in the process is you.
ReplyDeleteWill you keep quiet there! Haven't you listened to a debate, then become confused as both opponent and defense seem/appear right in their arguments?
DeleteHahahaha. Okay Julliet! You either stand for something or fall for anything. You cant support the insult of a man a child calls father, hinder him/her from seeing the child then support a stance on a father seeing the child regardless. Which one you dey? ABI are you a special kind of stupid?
DeleteDon't you know some people don't have brains of their own. Anything any influential person says, they are agree. They are Zombies, without knowing it
DeleteZombies are plenty in comment sections all over Nigeria.
DeleteThe child bears the brunt
ReplyDeletePeople hurt differently hence their reactions. If that man Churchill did not start talking down and bad of tonto,she would not have vomited out so much venom. The man didn't believe tonto would attack the way she did. Tonto was really madly in love with that guy but her heart was shredded in pieces. I am not in support of tonto but let the guy restrain from accusing her falsely. Alibaba next time,caution men too. Did you known some men have refused to make their wife look good in the sight of their kids no matter what.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind Alibaba. Half baked activist. Absolving men of their fault while projecting the women in a bad light. I'm not surprised. Is he not a Nigerian man again? Always finding a way to heap the blame on the woman. He will not tackle the vital and fundamental issue which is what actually triggers women to resort to such attitude, then proceed from there.
DeleteHe's here displaying typical Nigerian men bigotry.