Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm...............

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HAUNTED BY THOUGHTS OF FIRST LOVE

I need to pour out my mind and rant because I don't have a confidant. I had a big fight with my current boyfriend mid-last year for 3 months and I went back to my one-time ex named TJ cos I thought I needed to be in another relationship.


Little Wonder I have been thinking about TJ of recent. We really love each other. If I'm not with him, it will be as if I can't do without him but I always feel resentful after spending few days together. So, I exited the relationship again last year August.


What I love about TJ; he was my first, met him 9 yrs ago( but we do date and break up)he is tall, and big. I feel wet even before the real lovemaking with him, his mouth smells nice, he is finer than my current boyfriend. I feel butterflies in my stomach when I see him. Lol. I can now see how vain I am after writing this.


These are what turned me off about him when I spent a week with him July last year; He wears boxers for days(so they smell of urine, some are even torn and have changed colours ), he doesn't speak good English( this has been right from time and I thought he would have improved), he gives me UTI anytime we have s#x ( two different occasions 2016 and 2018), I have sore throat if I give him BJ, he always shout on/disrespect one particular girl that disturbs him with calls ( they dated briefly during one of the times I broke up with him), he even sent rude messages to her on several occasions. This lady loves him. I even heard her tell him that she knows he will come back to her after I leave him again. She advised him not to spoil ground too much on her side.


TJ only gets gentle if he is broke. But if he gets small change, he turns to a boss.He is not exposed at all, he says if we marry he can't help with children's homework, we will be sleeping in different rooms but will be coming to my room to make love. I should not be a social media person, he doesn't have money yet. If i ask for 5k, he will say where will he see that kind of money. Hmmmm...when my fiance can give 200k. What do girls really want sef?


He says even if i want to put up a picture on facebook, I should not put up his kids pictures. So I left him last year August. He told me that if I leave, he won't allow us to keep in touch again because he wants to settle down ASAP. I ran after he gave all these rules.


I later contacted the girl and told her that I did not date the guy at all. I told her to check my Facebook handle for proof cos I still have my bf pictures on my page. I did not want TJ to lose in two places. He blamed me for trying to bring him and the lady together. For the period of two months I was with TJ, he flaunted me more his Whats app but I haven't seen him on SM since I broke his heart.


During the time I was with him, my boyfriend and I reconciled. I could not double date. So, I went back to my boyfriend cos I finally realized the grass isn't always greener on the other sides. Some Bvs even yabbed me when I dropped a comment about this. My guy proposed few months after the reconciliation and we now get along so well. We've even fixed our wedding date.


I noticed my guy and I are 90% more compatible than TJ and I. We share the same values, get along easily.


Tj literally told me that he will marry this lady if I leave cos he discovers she loves him more than he does, since loving me more than I do always give him heartbreak. He said he is 35 and wants to settle down. I am 27, the other lady is 30. 

My wedding date is already fixed and my fiance is the opposite of TJ in all areas. I even experienced orgasm for the first time and two consecutive time with my fiance. I have peace and I am more proud of my husband-to-be . I spend more days with my man and I don't always feel like going back to my base unlike when I was with Tj. I know I can't be happy with TJ but why do I still think about him a lot. Why? This "first love belief" is messing with my head and mind


The gist is TJ got has gotten married to this same lady he yabs both on calls and in text messages. The pictures are not on SM yet but our mutual friend uploaded their picture with happy married life caption. It was a "small ceremony" but I don't know why I immediately rushed to the toilet oh. Maybe because I did not know his wedding will be this fast. I was not surprised but I feel somehow. I have a problem but I don't know it.

 Woops! I feel better after putting this into writing. I need Bvs to reset my brain biko. Thanks

P:s, I want to use this opportunity to apologized to those I've bashed for acting stupidly with a wrong man cos of love. I'm now one of you. Sorry

*Mscheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew