Hmmmmm......
BOTHERED ABOUT ISH
Hi Stella,
I have been a silent follower of your blog for a while now. I never thought I will be sending in a chronicle but here we are. I have an issue that's been bothering me and would need your red pen as well as that of your BVs. Please keep me anonymous...
Late last year, I went to my home country from the UK and was there for a while. Before going, I reconnected with my 'on and off' boyfriend and told him that we will settle everything once I land. I've known since childhood, been friends since and we knew we liked each other but when he finally proposed I didn't accept due to the fact that I wasn't ready and I felt he didn't really mean it. But Stella, no matter the number of times I block him and all...he's still very persistent. So when I went back home I went to visit him in school in another city. I was soo happy to see him after 6 years of being away.
Now to the issue. When we got to his hostel that very day I arrived, we started kissing and doing all sorts but no s#x. I told him that I'll let him know when I'm ready. That was Sunday evening. We slept in the same room alone. The next day too... No s#x...it was just foreplay. On Tuesday (at dawn) we started kissing and doing all sorts then he started fingering me like mad! I enjoyed all of it. Then I realized that he had inserted his private... Initially I wanted to tell him to stop but then I was enjoying it so I let him do it.
Shortly he pulled out and asked me if he should continue. I said no and he stopped and he was like he respects my decision bla bla. I remember that after that experience, I was a bit upset but then I let it go cos I enjoyed it hence didn't stop him. I remember opening up to a friend about it and she was like since I was not ready she hopes I don't regret it and we laughed it over and I was like naa...I liked it so no problem.
After that we had s#x on different occasions and it was cool (at his place in school and when he came back home for Christmas). Nobody had to say anything... it just happened spontaneously and if I wasn't in the mood I'll tell him then we're cool.
I left to the UK in January and we're still keeping the relationship alive. The beginning of last month, I was talking to him and we started chatting dirty...then I don't know all of a sudden 'our first s#xual experience' just flashed back into my memory and since then it won't go away. It has left me feeling some way that I can't even put in words. Honestly it's been bothering me. So, I put it in a scenario and sent it to a couple of friends and they all said No, it isn't rape.
I wanted to tell my boyfriend about how I'm feeling but one close friend of mine was like I should not. The truth is I wanted it too though in my mind I wasn't really ready (because I felt he should have waited for me to tell him first before inserting).
Personally, I'm that kind of person that when something starts bothering it tends to get stuck and it's very difficult to get out.
I don't regret anything that we did.
I love him a lot and I know he loves me more but this whole thing is just eating me up. We're at a good place despite our ups and down.
I honestly don't know what to do. Please I need the honest opinions of your BVs.
Will be in the comments section reading your comments. Thanks.
After that we had s#x on different occasions and it was cool (at his place in school and when he came back home for Christmas). Nobody had to say anything... it just happened spontaneously and if I wasn't in the mood I'll tell him then we're cool.
I left to the UK in January and we're still keeping the relationship alive. The beginning of last month, I was talking to him and we started chatting dirty...then I don't know all of a sudden 'our first s#xual experience' just flashed back into my memory and since then it won't go away. It has left me feeling some way that I can't even put in words. Honestly it's been bothering me. So, I put it in a scenario and sent it to a couple of friends and they all said No, it isn't rape.
I wanted to tell my boyfriend about how I'm feeling but one close friend of mine was like I should not. The truth is I wanted it too though in my mind I wasn't really ready (because I felt he should have waited for me to tell him first before inserting).
Personally, I'm that kind of person that when something starts bothering it tends to get stuck and it's very difficult to get out.
I don't regret anything that we did.
I love him a lot and I know he loves me more but this whole thing is just eating me up. We're at a good place despite our ups and down.
I honestly don't know what to do. Please I need the honest opinions of your BVs.
Will be in the comments section reading your comments. Thanks.
*Could it be guilty conscience eating you up?You need to blame someone for what happened?
I am confused here. Are you seeing someone else hence the troubled conscience? If not I think you consented and that's fine. Please let go of the guilt or just let go of him/relationship.
ReplyDelete... and you have had multiple sex with this same person so what exactly is eating you up ?
DeleteYou want to accuse him of rape?
You enjoyed it in your own words and he stopped when you told him to so what issue are you trying to stir up?
Chronicles like this is the reason i'm deeply skeptical about the sentencing of rapists to death, innocent people would also be victims
DeleteHahaha, Cynhams you crack me up. Too much "oyinbo mentality" is worrying you poster.
DeleteIts not oyibo mentality, its a decent girl's mentality, she wasn't brought up to fornicate but she went astray so she's battling with her good side.
DeleteAs I was reading through "I was like" what is this one saying? Poster are u up to 20? U sound, write and worse think like my 15yr old niece.
DeletePls what is the poster's problem exactly cos I didnt get it?
dears. shes a liar. I am her friend. she told him not to go ahead but he did and she later enjoyed it. that's where the guilty conscience is coming from . because he can be called rape. the guy shouldn't have gone ahead
Delete16:47
DeleteAbeg park well jo.
Person wey don collect prick severally after the first day, she wasnt even a virgin oh, shes just pained that she doesnt have total control over her sexual urge, finding who to blame... poster, look at your mirror if you need to blame someone.
Poster is nuts. Next!
DeleteThat's how my admirer gave me a peck instead of a kiss. What rubbish! So i never reach to receive kiss? Got pissed and blocked him. 😡😛
DeletePlz let me even ask,is fingering not penetration? If you can allow the guy to finger you, what else is remaining? Plz move on already, both of you enjoyed it
DeleteAnd you had to write this stupid bunch of shit to Stella? Waste of my time
DeletePoster your into prostitution,but you don’t know it yet. People should stop with all this nonsense, since when do we start asking for sex? Does it not sound stupid? PLZ,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH YOU? Sounds funny to me. What is the fun in it?what is kissing and fingering? Is it not part of the show, don’t allow a kiss or anything selfish ashawo if you don’t want everything. I no blame una na guys way they play with una. If it was me, that is the end of our sex life,even when we get married I won’t have sex with you for years and that is what happens to many couples, the man get tired of the whole drama and gets a side chick, then wife start complaining that my husband has not fucked me for months. Sex should not be organized like ur in a club house.
Delete........
ReplyDeleteNo comment
You are right to feel that way especially if you based in UK...He did not wait for your consent before proceeding with his tool...That was how my date tapped my bum stylishly when we went on a date for the first time..I felt bad and violated,now I blocked his number,stupid predator
DeletePoster here is my honest opinion
DeleteMMMTTSSEEWWWWWW...
I hissed in capital letters!
He stopped after she told him to stop and they went on to have plenty other sexual encounters. If I were the guy, you bring such up to me, I will avoid you for ever. You poster are a drama queen.
DeleteNo it’s not guilty conscience. it’s more you know in your heart he did it without your permission and so you don’t trust him. You’re not sure if that makes hi not trustworthy for not respecting your wishes
ReplyDeleteI think they need to start screening chronicles before posting them on this blog o. Which one is he fingered me, I was enjoying it. He put real thing, it then looks like rape. The last time I checked, rape is forceful sex. I never hear of rape victim wey enjoy sex finish, come have sex again like 10 more times with her rapist. Babe, park well and mind yourself before I slap you. You are supposed to be asking God for forgiveness for fornicating instead you dey find who to blame after enjoying preek
Delete18:53 don’t play dumb. You know full well you can enjoy all those without wanting his dick in you
Deletehahahahahahahaha @anon18:53, oil dey your head. @poster, you enjoy am abi you nor enjoy am? OK. yes you enjoyed it and you guys did it again and again and again and again. so lock up and move on. this is not rape cos he didn't force you. you guys kissed and did other mende mende and you enjoyed it. he even fingered you and you were moaning to the extent that you didn't know when he inserted his something into......
DeleteYou told him to stop after he “had inserted his private”.
ReplyDeleteHe didn’t seek your consent before the insertion knowing fully well that you had mentioned earlier that you weren’t ready and would let him know.
You also continued to have enjoyable sex with him after the first act and you both are dating because you refer to him as boyfriend using the word “love”.
Anyway, tell him how you felt about that day and see if he apologizes for it. I get your point totally, you weren’t ready but your body was and he took it as a cue. Men need to learn to seek consent, you can totally want foreplay and not penetrative sex. Both do not have to go hand in hand, a lady’s arousal is not an invite. Ask so you don’t end up “raping” anyone.
You are totally correct
DeleteHe was wrong
Consent after the fact is not appropriate
The guy probably felt if he does it she will then like it and beg for it afterwards,it was wrong on his part.
DeleteYou're feeling sad because you have got a conscience,sometimes I wonder how hardened girls who have had multiple sex partners +abortion are because I have heard many good girls feel bad for what this poster just narrated.
Poster you need to let the guy know or maybe stop seeing him, if he was that desperate to be with you then he should go ahead and marry you.
RUBBISH talk!!!
DeleteYour mouth would be saying no while your body saying yes! Who remove pant? Whr u sleeping?
Exactly luckily he based in Nigeria if not you can sue him here in UK for penetrating without permission..But count it as one of those things and move on...Why can't you look for a man in UK instead of dating a student?
DeleteOh please.... sex has its own language which every sane person understands. She was enjoying it and d guy knew she wanted him badly. Abi u nor knw say she go don wet d bobo fingers at dat point? She wasnt dealing with a robot or a monk. Even after inserting he still asked if he should stop b4 d poster said yes. Permit me to ask, if he didnt ask that question at dat moment would d poster ve stopped him? So what's d noise about after having multiple sex in different positions on different occasions and locations?
DeleteTessbaby, you obviously know nothing about consent, how it works or why it’s important but please read up and educate yourself.
DeleteRead my comment again because if you did you wouldn’t be asking me questions I already answered. You can totally want foreplay but not want to be penetrated.
Foreplay doesn’t have to lead to sex. She didn’t notice when he took out his private because she was probably in cloud 9, eyes closed with legs apart when he penetrated her. He should have asked for her consent before that not after. Also, that he asked after penetration shows that he knew he should have asked beforehand and so was covering his bases.
Look, sex is not what you Africans think it is. People get jailed for less. If I have told you from the jump that I would let you know when I’m ready for the whole nine yards and you still take me unawares, you are liable. People get Stockholm syndrome and think they are normal so the fact that she has had sex with him many times afterwards doesn’t make their first encounter normal. They need to discuss it to ensure it doesn’t occur again, this is why marital rape isn’t discussed because people argue that it’s impossible for souses to rape each other because they are married.
You lot have a lot to learn and it’s really sad that it’s mostly women castigating her.
Dopple you are wasting your time . Nigerians can never understand what you are saying... to them you have off pant...you are ready for full sex...heck , if you go to a man's house, you are ready for sex.
DeleteRape is normal in Nigeria . In this case though she needs to take some responsibility if you have done foreplay to the point that his fingers are in your vagina, then it's kinda too much to ask for him to stop at that point. It's a delicate line...there should be consent but don't lead someone on to that extent.
Poster try to take it out of your mind but watch out for any rapey tendencies.
Poster how old are you again? Hian nawaaah ooh. So after you and your bf finished dancing kerewa in the oza room you now brought chronicle of it for us on SDK to do what exactly with it? Ain't got any advice for you,maybe madam ajuju nese okwu and her bingo will give you better advice bcos this is her area of jurisdiction.
ReplyDeleteI tire oh stupid gal
DeleteYou people don't ever get tired with your dirty and worldly stories. You need Christ Jesus in your life
ReplyDeleteNwunye Pharisee, you no dey fornicate? Because someone is saying her own openly, you suddenly feel some type of way. How are we sure that you’re not currently bouncing ontop of your boyfriend as you typed this sanctimonious crap because e no pass Wetin una fit do 😂😂😂
DeleteAs long as you’ve ever fornicated before, sir/ma you’re no better than the OP😂😂😂
I still stand against premarital fuckanising though but you’d never see me judge people that do it 🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️🚶🏾♂️
Anonymous 15:11 u came here to read dirty things that makes u dirty aswell.pls carry your dirty di...or cunt and move aside.
DeleteJudge judge judge of the jungle!!!
DeleteSnarker, not everyone fornicates. Speak for YOURSELF biko.
DeleteMay God have mercy on your soul Snarker and all the rest. Remember that you must be held accountable for every single word you say or write in this life especially the one that can lead others astray
DeleteHnmmm... Rape ke? you are just feeling guilty and embarrassed... You already gave your permission, without having to say it... Actions speaks louder than words. The guy even get self control to have stopped midway... But how come you no know when bros enter? #kikikiki It Can sweet... Biko you people should do and and marry fast...
ReplyDeleteBody language is not consent. She said no before he did it. No body language will trump No
DeleteSo are you saying she was raped?
DeleteI think the guy may not have penetrated her,he just rubbed her genitals with hers thinking she will then allow him penetrate. It was wrong of him to do that anyway. A guy who showed that level of desperation to have you should be talking marriage.
Delete"He probably didn't penetrate fully that's why poster didn't notice"
Delete25:24 and 16:18 you're both kids, so you just want to make comment and fill the void.
DeleteI don't know what nonsense permission you're both looking for, like the guy should write a letter before inserting his dick right.
If you don't want to have sex, don't even start kissing at all. Stop think a man will be asking you guys for permission in the heat of foreplay to get in between your legs.
You don't want to have sex, meet in a public place.
E ti ya were.
The guy is not trustworthy...Yes is yes and No is No
DeleteThank u married chick.Thats part of d fore play 16:32. @16:18 so d girl showed no level of desperation? Biased much.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteThis Don is mad. I once had this experience. Where I didn't want sex bcos it was the first date. I was okay with kissing but next thing he pulled down my pants. I tried stopping it but Before I knew it he was inside me. And we just continued. I kind of felt raped. But since I liked it just left it. If it was a guy I didn't like I won't have continued and wld have fought him off. But i ended up getting pregnant 6months later and we have been married 7yrs now.
it is still rape
Deletei dont understand this chronicle, he was inserting is finger and you were ok with it but got angry when he inserted his dick. its all insertion not insertion? I am just asking o. And you still had sex numerous times after that? What do you want us to tell you, that he raped you so that you will answer rape victim? Ladies should know how to stand on their Yes and not allowing fingering but when he now insert dick, you start shouting rape. I guess the dick is small that is why you didnt know when he graduated from fingering to dicking. Because the story is not adding up.
ReplyDeleteFinger and dick are different
DeleteIt’s her body
If she says yes to one, she can say no to their other
So yes it was rape
Your last two lines 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Delete15:26 Kolo dey worry you.
DeleteRape kee you there.
anonymous did you also miss the part where the guy asked if he should stop and she said no! If i were a judge and you brought this case to my courtroom, I would not only throw away your case and make you pay for time wasted, but throw you and your lawyers out through the window.
DeletePeople like you give #metoo movement a bad name.
True...Finger is harmless while dick can be dangerous...Don't know why she's dating a student
DeleteAll insertion is not insertion please. It’s for your own information before you get yourself entangled in a rape mess you this unknown. The guy didn’t rape her but I reiterate all insertion is not insertion.
DeleteAunty what you feel is GUILT. He did not rape you please. Do not abuse that word for actual victims of rape. This your story, onwekwa otu o di sha. I understand the whole consent thing and all but you told him to stop and he stopped.
ReplyDeleteBut I don’t feel like it was rape.
Anyways ANG and Bingo are coming for you so better brace up 😂😂😂😂
This is why I am anti-fornication 🤷🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️
This one dey craze.
ReplyDeleteHe was fingering you and you were enjoying it!
ReplyDeleteHe removed is gbola and penetrated without telling you right?
I don't get were you expecting him to say please can I put my gbola inside.
When you guys are doing the smooching, touching and fingering you were both enjoying it,you already sent a message to him.
After that you guys continued having sex and you just played back the first time it happens my sister there is no chronicle here.what happened is sexual agreement and no one always ask for permission before inserting the gbola inside.
Even if you were not ready for it you should have stopped in kissing and smooching but the moment you allowed him fingers you and you were honest you enjoyed it,there is no issue here.
Maybe you are just thinking and regretting you shouldn't have done it with him yet.
Who told you decent guys don't ask? They do because sex comes with lots of consequences that may even last a life time.
Delete😂😂😂..
DeleteSuch questions and answers in the heat of passion kills the mood, once the pant is off, thats full green light on the highway
This thing tire me. Hw can I b with my bf n we kick off n3xt thing he I'm expecting him to ask me if its time to move from one level to another? Like "baby I'm done kissing should I suck breast"? Should I put my fingers? Etc? Man just progress n let me b d one to say stop. If d poster had said STOP n he continued then we can ve this discussion. One more thrust after d word STOP is RAPE.
DeleteTessbaby 😂😂😂.....
Delete"Baby, can i ejaculate now or later?.. Lol
Who does that @anonymous 16:05 with black lips? don't you know that questions during gbola exams kills the vibe... So long she allowed that tiny little middle finger to nosedive her kponyo, without saying stop while she's enjoying it, then it is called consensual sex and not rape.
DeleteYou no get problem,dont look for one.
ReplyDeleteSo this too is a chronicle? I don't even know what to say to you poster.
ReplyDeletePoster what are you trying to say, rape and you enjoyed it???? Abeg shift
ReplyDeleteIs this one chronicle?abegg let start going 😡.
DeleteI think you should be more concerned about his blokos than anything else because for you to think that you were still being fingered when he had infact already entered but you couldn't differentiate, hmmmm.....
ReplyDeleteBV sylvia
Maybe they are teenagers 😂😂😂
DeleteOh lawd...hahahahaha.
DeleteAnother angle. 🤔
DeleteWhat exactly is the problem here cause I don't get what's eating you up? Or is it that you're looking for a reason to label him a rapist and feel sexually abused? I don't understand.
ReplyDeleteHe inserted, you were enjoying it and didn't ask him to stop. He stopped of his own accord and ASKED you if he should continue, you said no and he didn't insist. He stopped. That's some gentleman you've got there. Dude exhibited a very high level of self control. Not all men can do that in the heat of the moment. And since then, you guys have had consensual sex several times. So i repeat, what exactly is the problem here?
He tried to trick her by letting her have a taste of it before seeking consent because he felt at that point she wouldn't say No but he was wrong.
DeleteShe is actually well brought up so that the reason she's battling with her conscience.
Well said.. not all men can control themselves in the heat the moment. The guy is a real gentleman
DeleteWell brought up indeed! did you miss part where she said they had sex several times after that? Well brought up girls keep their legs closed or better still own up when you've fucked up not blame another people for your fuck up.
DeleteAbeg, help me ask am o! What exactly is your problem madam? Please take choice words up there. That some gentleman you have got there! Let go of your guilt, and dont use that word 'rape'
DeleteNawaaa did you say well brought up, for where? Abeg go and read the Chronicle again and tell me you did not see sex e everywhere and then come and tell me about well brought up being fingered upandan
Delete@anon 16:07, well brought up indeed! What was she doing in a private room with a man on top bed eh?
DeleteSis, you gave your consent eventually. It's okay if you feel like you need answers about what really happened.
ReplyDeleteTalk it out with him, make him understand how you feel. Communication is the best way to get the closure that you seek. Goodluck, sis.
So You want to know whether the fuck you enjoyed was rape abi? OK I'm coming
ReplyDeleteI'm confused 🙄
ReplyDelete'Ogbanje' things. 'inukwa' .I don't understand some ladies. Please tell him how you actually feel about your first time with him, maybe his soothing words is all you need to feel alright.
ReplyDeleteKedu ife o na ako? 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷
ReplyDeleteNkogheri
DeleteO na ako bullshit nwannem.
DeleteNa wa o.
ReplyDeleteYou go to your on & off bf house & things happen,you let him cuddle,kiss,touch sensitive body parts,finger you,finally you both get the do done ,& you come here to spill trash,like where the hell did your sense go while you were enjoying it?You come here to ask us help you accuse the poor guy of rape?...Except you haven't told us what happened in detail.
Now girl lemme tell you what happened,you let yourself get laid,& later on you are feeling guilty that you were loose & let him have you easily without having him stress for it & you wanna do something that will make you feel good about yourself. Better snap out of it cos you are no saint! You needed sex & you got it,stop whining,own up to you satisfying your sexual needs,& if you need God to forgive you for giving in to lust then ask him,he already forgiven you. Longggggggggg hisssssssssss
YOU AV NO CASE HERE, IT WAS SWEETING YOU
ReplyDeletePlease make me understand,you and a guy where kissing and all that and he inserted his d into your p and now you think it's rape?
ReplyDeleteWell your "chronicle" only made me wet.
Poster you are a very wicked person for making my idle self horny this afternoon that my husband is busy at the office. Very wicked girl
DeleteFan otu na agba mmiri.amu na ekele
DeleteFan oooo, see as open laugh............
DeleteNight go soon come ehn ndo, TGIF , so this weekend na on fire for oza room activity.
😂 you funny dye
DeleteFan u Kno well.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteFan Emmanuel I thought I was the only one in this, the poster got me very wet like seriously and my hubby isn't around 😭😭😭. Poster you are wicked
DeleteLwkmd
DeleteAny little thing these Pharisees toto go dey rain water. Ndi oshi amu 😒😒😒😒😒
DeleteI don't get it, was he supposed to say, aunty I'm about to go in ooo. Since you guys ware dating and you were kissing and fingering, and he inserted the penis, you didn't say anything, and you want to call it what? Rape|? You never talk what your problem is. The fact is that you are regretting opening your legs for him. Deal with it. Next time try and close your legs.
ReplyDeleteHe will keep seeking mumu consent
DeleteThey do ask especially if they know you're a virgin, dating or petting doesn't mean it must end in penetrative sex, if a man loves you,you will know they can have self control.
Deletepenetrative sex? How about fingering? She was sleeping when he brought out his kini?
DeleteGuess what? There was this guy I just started dating, last weekend i was at his house, one thing led to the other, we started kissing all but when it got to the the point where he pulled his kini out and wanted to insert it, I held him and told him to stop and he stopped.
But you dear poster here was there enjoying it and didn't see when the whipped his penis out and then inserted it and then again he asked and she said carry on.
No wonder one guy wrote on twitter saying ' guys after sex, send her a text message immediately, asking if she enjoyed the sex, and save the text for future use especially for a case like this poster.
May my brothers not meet women like these.
ReplyDeleteDrama queen she is
DeleteHa ha ha ha ha. You is wicked.
ReplyDeleteMtcheeew. Small pikin chronicle.
ReplyDeleteYou just sound exactly like my friend.
Next please.
Jeez. How do guys cope with some of you women/girls?
ReplyDeleteYes he raped you, please go get him arrested and prosecuted ok.
Gosh.
Dont mind her with her messed up thoughts. It's her type that call police on innocent people after having sex with them with her consent.
DeleteYou are right to be upset because you made it clear you weren’t ready yet. Sadly the subsequent sex you’ve had will make it hard to prove anything. Talk to him about it and let him know how you feel, if he loves and respects you he’ll be remorseful and apologize but if he doesn’t he’ll accuse you of making up stories in order to break things off with him.
ReplyDeletePlease ladies stop giving room for such things to happen. Don’t smell what you don’t want to eat.
Young ones please flee fornication. Flee fornication. Pray for the grace to hold on until marriage. Stay celibate. It's difficult for possible.
ReplyDeleteI think poster mistrusts him because of that. It's not guilt, it's a trust issue. Talk it over with him and see if he can regain your trust.
Hahahahhahaahhahahahahahajahha this poster is so young and silly, hey you gaal , you need to see my facial expressions while reading your supposed chronicle . Kai too much UK Don enter uR brain. Please google the definition of rape before you begin yawn dust give more people. Olodo girl Wey Don chook multiple times enjoy the whole chookings still dEy confuse, madame you better wake-up on top the bycicle wey you dey sleep Omoko!
DeleteThat is how many of our black men are answering rapist in prisons in UK cos of something similar to this.
DeleteI always warn my bro to be careful there especially for white girls. If a girl isn't your girlfriend don't even have sex with her,consent or not.
Some change their stories when they realise the guy only wanted sex from them and doesn't want a relationship. They now tag an encounter they both enjoyed Rape.
Please warn your useless friends very well... Especially some Nigerian men in UK...All they know how to do see trick a girl with daily calls and text everyday to make someone to fall in love.. Immediately after sex they start to form busy..
DeleteMen u will be full of drama ooo.you are not mature and pick unesscary things up.do not tell him anything.clear that thought
ReplyDeleteyou are very very very stupid. it is women like you that make the society not believe that rape is not rape. you cannot enjoy sex then calling it rape you foool. nonscense
ReplyDeleteSince the issue is rather disturbing and you can't seem to get it off ya mind,Please discuss the matter with your BF maturely.
ReplyDeleteYOU never should've started the kissing and the fingering if you weren't ready to get intimate.You were both carried away by the desire of the moment.HE was enjoying it so were you.You both wanted each other even you weren't mentally ready to accept him. Seeing that you were enjoying it,he would have continued but he was matured enough to ask if he should continue or not.
Don't hold it against him.And stop hurting your little head
It wasn't rape.
If it pleases you as it pleases me,Please abstain from sex until you both get married.That's if you both still want get married.
Try cultivating the spirit of self control.
I hope this little #kobo# of mine made some sense to you
Please tell us you are still angry that he removed his dick when u were enjoying it. Next time remove shame and tell him harder.
ReplyDeleteSee this Pharisee o. You enjoyed the fork, even when he asked you if he should discontinue, you de chant harder harder. 😒😏
ReplyDeleteRepent of fornication. Illegitimate pounding no dey give peace of mind.
Poster what you are feeling is guilt please snap out of it. You had sex and you enjoyed it. Yes your boyfriend enter without your consent but in the action dude stopped and you said no. So what are you saying ? pls grow up since you have have started doing grown up stuffs.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel poster I have felt same way before. The only way to let this go is allowing yourself to know that the emotions were strong between you both and that anything can happen. It happened due to the emotions u guys shared. You’re the type of person that once you make a decision you don’t bend no matter what and you have a high level of self control especially to the opposite sex. As the guy was able to have access to you even after several warnings now you feel betrayed. Please to make things work or else this negative thought that just crawled back in will spoil the relationship. Please kindly tell yourself anything can happen. You’re only human and you guys had a strong love connection. He did it out of emotions if he didn’t love you he wouldn’t have made such a move. U were unresistable to him too. Please think about this over again because if you tell him that may be the end of a good relationship you’re having right now. Please stop revising the past and go with the flow
ReplyDeleteStop lying and deceiving the poster, which high level of self control are you on about?
Delete@ Anonymous 16:33 when did sex equates love? If he loves her he wouldn't put his dick
DeletePoster what you are feeling is guilt please snap out of it. You had sex and you enjoyed it. Yes your boyfriend entered without your consent but in the action dude stopped, asked you and you said no. So what are you saying ? pls grow up since you have have started doing grown up stuffs.
ReplyDeleteThis one head no just wan correct. The sex you had long ago, now it look somehow to you and it won't go away.
ReplyDeleteThen keep it there in your head now and be playing it like a tape.
Thank God no be for UK he had sex with you, maybe you would have been planning on sending police to him by now.
Ja danu.
You're right.
ReplyDeleteThis comment was meant for tobe,you 're right about avoiding Fornication.
DeleteThis is so strange. Did he ask you before ducking on your nipples? What about before touching your privates? What about spanking your butt?
ReplyDeleteI think this consent business is out of hand. I'm even more disturbed with the amount of support you're getting, telling you you were raped, it's surreal.
Sex is sex fa. I'm really worried that guy has been begging for a relationship six years now, he lacks self esteem. Or maybe he just wants a piece of the pie.
She told him no dick before they started. He knew that and went against her wishes. This is not that hard to understand
DeletePoster, get out of here.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand you oh! What is causing you unrest? No its not rape, yes the guy was decent enough...you liked it, you eventually had sex consecutively...Its not like you were deflowered at that first encounter, your regret is not the sex you had. Are you a lowkey control freak? Na wa
ReplyDeleteNonsense
ReplyDeleteMtschewwww, you went to rape the boy now you're turning things around!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhat is sad is the fact that you women have made consent a one way thing. I am very sure, she was also touching him and caressing his nipples,making him very horny and exited especially when he was fingering her. They were both in the heat of the moment, this is not something that just happened, they had 2 encounters before this one. What you women of theses days forget that men too have feelings and in as much as fight these penetration as much as women. If she did not realise that he was in already, why should he realise that he was in? If she could not stop when he was in already only half way, why should he not also realise it only half way. Both of them were gone far already and i actually commend him for realising that he has gone far and asked if he should go on, it is not only women that must forget themselves and only realise later. We are equal, equal feelings, whenever a human is sexually arise, it is very difficult to control one self, man or woman. I am a woman and i have been in this situation too, my body was tel;ling him to continue and go on but my brain half way, made me feel guilty that i let myself that easily, because some how i wanted him not to see me easy even though we have been on several dates and kissing in the car and all.
DeletePoster, i live in the UK and this is not something new, this is what many of my African brothers go through, before you know it, the police is at their door or they are ;labelled rapist by your friends for the action you were as much as responsible as he was. If it was only kissing and then boom, he goes inside then i would have use consent but not in this case where both of your brain have reached Ecstasy(removal of the mind or body) subconsciousness but women expect the man to be IN CONTROL because they are not humans right? You even told some of your friends, kai! I wish i had his number to tell him to run from your so called exposed self. Don't let him come to the Uk, allow the brother have a good life in Nigeria than to put in in jail in the UK.
You have so abused this consent and rape thing, the joke is on you because the judges in the Uk started fighting back and people like Pierce Morgan are defending the men wrongly accused by your likes.
Next time, stay in your house, don't kiss or touch, don't remove your clothes and also, ask men for consent before touching their privates!!!
Hey girl, I know how you feel. I have felt this way before. Talk to him about it. You would see that once he apologizes profusely you would forget about it and love him the more. You don't trust him that's the issue. You don't feel raped but you feel violated. Like you had no agency or control over such an intimate situation regarding your body. Take a deep breath, speak to him. Tell him that something has been bothering you. This happened between my current partner and I when we started dating. Not quite like your case but very similar. The only difference really is that I didn't enjoy it and I called him out on it immediately. He apologized profusely and I got my peace back. He acknowledged that it was a violation of my trust and autonomy and I was calm and glad immediately after his apology. Talk to him, if he is a good man, he would understand you. Cheers.
ReplyDeletebiko which kind small pikin be this poster?
ReplyDeletethis is how you small children accuse innocent guys of rape.
I swear if every guy had to wait till the girl (especially naija girl) said "okay you can put it in", many of us with be virgins till we marry
ReplyDeleteThen be virgins but get consent or risk jail
DeleteIf you don't want to have sex, then don't indulge in foreplay. Foreplay is preparation for penetration.
ReplyDeleteI used to behave like this when I was younger but I was just naive by setting myself up for what I could have regretted and inconsiderate of the guy involved. It is selfish to allow a guy feel you up and then stop midway when his whole senses are on fire.
To you, he should have exercised better self-control knowing you weren't ready to have sex, but why demand something of him that you also lacked? You both got carried away and crossed boundaries. Blame yourself as much as you blame him. Men have a harder time restraining themselves when they are aroused, they are not like us women.
Talk to him about it and let him apologise if you still feel 'somehow' about it. Since you said you love him, you should have no problems moving on afterwards.
Great comment babe. Really think this whole consent theme is being define without proper understanding. You were with your full senses during foreplay and when he inserted his dick you didn't know? Even when you knew, you didnt resist nor told him to stop. pleeeeaaase!!!
DeleteThat’s silly
DeleteWhy should she deny herself and the guy a little bit because she won’t give all
As long as both know what’s up, then it’s fine it’s one thing to tell my man no sex. Quite another to say you can’t even touch my boobs
I have only one advice for men and for those who have brothers, sons, nephews etc. Abeg tell them to .bring out their phone and ask the girl they are about to shag for consent so there will be no rubbish story about fingering and prick insertion. I am tiered of all this crap. You had sex and feel guilty. Repent, ask God for forgiveness and next time close your legs.
ReplyDelete