What states/tribes in Nigeria collect the highest bride price and which do not collect a dime?
Have you ever been part of those who was given the 'loot' from a dowry paid?
What do you think about the Bride price?Do you think it should be scrapped?is there any Biblical passage to support collecting money to marry wife?
The paying of Bride price is not fair on women and that is why i think it should be stopped...There are so many women who cannot move on today because the other family have refused to collect the Bride price and she cannot have another man Marry her but if you check ,the men always move on and can remarry without returning bride price...I am sure some of you know what i mean?
Imo State. They are the most expensive, so I heard.
ReplyDelete...some part of Imo state..y'all need to chill on dx generalisation
DeleteIs Mbaise and Owerri that are still expensive. In my own town bride price is #5, I mean five naira. This is how it works- if the husband family like, let them bring one million naira, the father of the bride will take #5 and give him back the rest. Bride price was high in my town before but when the Eze of our town found out that the ladies are not getting married because of bride price that is why the traditional rulers slash the bride price to #5. And I can tell you guys that our ladies are marrying early now. Again Bride price started from our ancestors so it is a culture that can not be stopped anytime soon.
DeleteThis has to do with communities and sometimes families. When my elder sister was married as far back as 2010, the least denomination in the money brought was 10naira. My father took the whole money, collected the least of it which was 10naira and returned the rest to our in laws.
DeleteThings are beginning to change across Igbo land. First, it was the total eradication of the Osu caste system, then just yesterday it was reported that Anambra state house of assembly has banned expensive burial rites. No more three days burial occasions as the case used to be in some part of Anambra. We are actually getting there.
I think kalabari in rivers state are the most expensive
DeleteOwerri,my Bride price and everything in the list,my husband paid 290k
DeleteSwag, Kalabari bride price is not high. Their ceremonies are expensive. But, one does not have to do all like the Iya/Bebife.
DeleteNot true mbok!
DeleteWhen people say Mbaise i just laugh, it depends on family. Are all the Mbaise people rich? Go in the village and see if everyone has paid even as much as 30k for bride price. All these palm wine tappers, wheel barrow pushers and people with menial jobs, do they pay same as business men or professionals? Shoes get size nah, not all families ask for an exorbitant bride price. Most of Mbaise people are Greedy especially if the in law looks rich then they will drill you.My cousins are all married, some even almost free and they are Mbaise girls. Stop generalising!
Deleteshut up they know palm wine tapper no get shishi they target the rich and outsiders,they give the illiterate bride to the wine tapprs,the educated get old waiting for who will pay 290k cash bride price minus the things to buy.
Deleteplus who told u palm wine tappers can't pay village girls dowries.
If you don't know anything about Owerri bride price currently, you better shut-up.
DeleteMao Akuh
Akwa ibom people. chai i saw one list and i was tempted to ask my mum if lee boo will also do same. She gave me a yes now answer and one weird look. i just tire mbok.
ReplyDeleteI actually thought you're married already with the way you talk about your boo.
DeleteI'm not judging just taken a back especially today that you said you did *karashika*
Oh well to each his tea.
Dont take off my head but Waiting till marriage was God's design though, and their is a reason.
Food for thought.
Who invited Imo or the entire Igbo land to the party when there is Akwa Ibom State? Akwa Ibom list is about 4 center spreads of foolscap sheets. More like the entire community gets something from the list.
DeleteOur own na 24 naira😁😁😁😁 simple like that
ReplyDeleteBut other things go follow na. They are all together. You think say your people go just collect only 24 bucks?😀
DeleteSomeone I know paid the equivalent of 24 pounds in naira to marry a Bini bride.
DeleteCynthia they do collect. In my case they collected exactly 24naira. The yam,rice and other things no even reach 100k.
DeleteIn my village,1bag of rice,10tubers of yam,few drinks,honey,salt,3k for village women,5k for elders,3k for papa,2k for mama. That's all.
You must be from delta state, pride price in my place is 120naira and the items on the list wasn't up to 100k.
DeleteMine plus bride price was around 50k
DeleteSwagu, that's good o. I know most families will collect all together.
DeleteYour place is where Tenth?
DeleteAbeg na 24 naira dem go pay for me o
DeleteYellow sisi I'm Edo. Delta is cheap too. My mum's place is 12naira dowry and others are not much but parents dey increase the dowry.
DeleteNo wonder una men dey allow una women dey work like 'jaki.'
DeleteWhen a man pay more, him go respect the woman and her family. Na dash?
Mao Akuh
Mbaise
ReplyDeleteI am only here for those yams😋😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘
DeleteWho benefits from bride price, who collects bride price, who are the people who set the bride price, who complains that brode price is too high. Do women want expensive bride price paid on them, who looses if bride price is not expensive
ReplyDeleteIn my own family,they return the dowry back
ReplyDeleteMy hubby was given back the money as tradition
All other items were collected
My dad told me the same thing before his demise that he will return the bride price to my husband when I get married cos he isn't selling his daughter but his kinsmen didn't agree to it when it was time. Iku o daa o...
DeleteHeya Omo iyami... It is well
DeleteI am sure hubby understand
The list sef was very fair👌👌👌👌
@Olori, I'm yet to attend any Yoruba wedding where they collect the dowry, they always return the "owo ori iyawo" but will collect all other items
Delete*Larry was here*
Yoruba dey try. I didn't attend my brothers own but they returned the money.
DeleteMy friend from Afikpo in Ebonyi state showed me some dowry pictures and my mouth was opened all through. See things o! The custom there is that the lady will arrange everything outside and be snapping in front. There's nothing I didn't see there,I told him the things were enough to open shop in wuse market
ReplyDeleteOmeh omeh.. When u dey show na😂😂
Delete😀 @ open shop in Wuse market.
Deletemajor source of revenue
DeleteOla I'm coming o.
DeleteMbaise in imo there bride price is something else,the day I went for my friends bride price hmmm that guy get mind oh to pay all those things,well if u truly love your woman bride price can't hider you getting married to her.
ReplyDeleteThat was a greedy family! Not all Mbaise families collect that much.
DeleteThose who have turned bride price into the business of selling their daughters for money know themselves.
ReplyDeleteI don't really know but I know my state (Cross River) does not give a neck-cutting list.
ReplyDeleteI believe the bride price of a thing should be scrapped but those gifts can be collected but the list shouldn't be a killer, moderation is the key word. E.g Abraham gave his servant gifts to give his would-be inlaws when he was searching for a wife for Isaac his son.
The greedy kinsmen won't let things be in moderation cos of what they want to gain, especially when the bride's father is late.
I don't think that it can be stopped because the family that others have collected from their children will like to collect from other people's children.
Delete👌👌👌👌👌👌
DeleteCynthia is Calabar?🙄😒
DeleteWhich part of cross River are you from??
DeleteThere is dowry and there is list. Traditionally the dowry was an expensive something but now its no more. The official dowry right now is 20naira to 100naira in progressive Igbo states. But the list is the expensive thing - costs 200 - 400k to buy everything on it. And it's not like those items go towards the trad, you still have to fund the trad itself which could cost 500k-1million. But Stella the ancestors who made the culture were not christians, so scrapping it should be for basic human right purposes, not whether its in the bible or not. Nigeria is a country of various religions, and the constitution is based on human rights to serve all, regardless of religion, gender or culture.
ReplyDeleteI support the motion to scrap it, cos it has outlived its use. It was a culture made for a society that existed in tribes and all lived together long before Lord Lugard made us into a country. The extended families today have so much hate and envy, why give them anything cos I want to get married. Also cos to me only the couple and their immediate families who know and love them should have a say. It's ridiculous to give the power to your happiness to an umunna who do not know you and do not care about you. Keep the traditional marriage, but scrap dowry and list. Let whatever you want to give them come from your heart. Ise!!!!
I agree with your last paragraph
DeleteIse!!!
DeletePlease know the different between dowry an bride prize. Dowry is paid by the bride to the groom family, is a kind of properties or settlement given to the bride by her family to go to her husbands house with. This practice is done in European countries, India etc while bride prize is paid by the groom to the brides family as a token of asking their daughter hand in marriage.
DeleteSupported. Amam nke bu umunna. people that don't even know ur name or when u were born fa ncha Socha na umunna
Delete1. Dowry cannot be scrapped cos it's common sense and is even biblical. If a woman has no dowry, sorry but she will suffer in marriage
Delete2. Dowry and brideprice are two different things that people keep confusing with each other. Brideprice is what men pay, dowry is the sum total of the wedding gift that a woman brings with her into the marriage. Before you argue about this, please check a dictionary
3. From your write-up, it appears you assume the nuclear family always loves the couple. Sadly not true. There are many people whose family (not extended, oh) are terrible and do not wish their own children well. It's like you've not seen mothers who don't want their daughters to marry? In cases like that, is umunna the problem of the couple?
Ermm...Bros/Sis Anonymous,
Deletemy husband no pay any bride price ooo for me...and i no dey suffer for my marriage. Husband respects me liiiiiiiiiiiiiiike! Anything i ask, he gives, i gave our son his first name, wetin my husband never buy for me? In fact, i don enter US like 3 times this year already, if i say 'yes' it yes, if i say 'no' it no...so tell me...where the suffer dey? You and your yeye beliefs should go sit down somewhere.
Anon 1:30 Please, shut up and go and learn to read. Travelling abroad without having sense is pointless. Brideprice is NOT dowry. If you say your husband didn't pay brideprice, how is that anybody's business? A woman without a dowry will NOT be respected - it means she came empty-handed to her marriage. There's no way that a woman who's disrespected in marriage, will not suffer. Cos it's seen that it's daughters of very poor or irresponsible men who can't afford a dowry. Brideprice, what men pay. Dowry, what a woman brings/wedding gift. Get it???
DeleteYorubas I heard, don’t pay.
ReplyDeleteMy place ohafia just 6 naira...calabari in river state, their own tie wrapper
ReplyDeleteKalabari na die
Deletekalabari u go buy boxes of wrappers tire....beads nko
DeleteKalabari* we're too expensive
DeleteImo State, they want to recoup all that was spent to train the lady to the marriageable age.
ReplyDeleteABONIMA in rivers state. A relative married a lady from there. Very expensive bride price
ReplyDeleteIn Edi state where an from, we don't collect much.
I think Edo has the cheapest including dowry and every.
Delete*Edo State.
Delete@Swag, Yoruba too
Charity, Please it is Abonema. Our bride price is not high. Don’t mix everything together. Bride price is just the dowry.
DeleteANON, it's ABONEMA.
DeleteWhether bride price or dowry, I'm referring to all the things they collected including the big fat goat given to the village chief.
Ijebu ode in Ogun state to be precise, according to our own traditions. #100 naira was collected from my husband family as dowry and returned back to them at the end of the ceremony. No list of items was given to the groom family. They brought fruits, vegetables and wine of their choice.The bride family are the hosts. Exactly the same for all my sisters. Mind you, I dont know if this is common among all the Ijebu ode people or it's just my family tradition. In my humble opinnion, I think dowry as a whole should be scrapped. Expecially for those who collect exorbitant amount of money, I see it as being inconsiderate. This young couples are about to start their journey together, they need all the support why extorting them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should wait a little bit to see if dowry will be scrap off before getting married, I no fit come kill myself all by myself lolzzx.
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂 iwu ewu nnoooo 🤣🤣🤣 go marry joor 😁
DeleteHow do you differentiate a legal wife from a concubine or side chick? DOWRY paying ofcourse,so that cant be scrapped as long as the traditional marriage which is the MAIN marriage is concerned. To the issue you raised Stella,where a man refuses to take back the dowry paid,there is a customary court that would handle the matter immediately and the woman is set free to re-marry. Ignorance to basic info aint no bliss...
ReplyDeleteTell them my dear.
DeleteIt's not all about 21st century,it's about common sense.
What is the bidding between a woman and a man that are living together if not bride prize? Someone can just wake up and kidnap someone's child and still be justified if not for bride prize.
Stella coming to your argument, do you also want the court marriage to be scrapped because it is 10 times easy to return a bride prize than to go through divorce in a court of law.
Fan Emmanuel where did you hear it's 10X easier to return brideprice than to go through divorce in a court of law? Do you think brideprice is what can be returned anyhow? Is that why there are many women divorced in courts of law but can't move on cos brideprice hasn't been returned? It's like you don't know that having to call both families AGAIN and have more than one meeting with accusations of "he said, she did" and adjournments is like a law court of its own. Even when one side wants to return brideprice, the other side needs to agree to collect it! It's not something you can just drop on the floor in your in-laws house cos when it was being paid, it wasn't picked from the ground. One side gave and the other side collected WITH BOTH HANDS. If they return and collect brideprice anyhow in your place, say so. Don't drag everyone into it.
DeleteMost of those commenting are not even exposed to other tribes marriage rites. Have you seen or heard of the rites of the shua Arab tribe of Nigeri? Or that of the kalabari or Yoruba people? People will just be shouting Igbo, akwa ibom, etc... Until we have an in depth knowledge of virtually all the rites of each tribe in naija we should not talk.
ReplyDeleteIn my place even if you don't have shishi to the bride price, they will give you the Amariya on credit.
ReplyDeleteWhere is your place?
DeleteOkrika in river state Carries d crown
ReplyDeletekalabari own dy learn work
i am an iya woman o...
DeleteWhy are people confusing brideprice with list or dowry? These are three different things, fgs!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I was wondering the same thing. They are all different. Ceremonies are expensive. Dowry isn’t.
DeleteAnon 18:54 I believe you mean brideprice. Dowry is NOT what is paid by a man wanting to marry.
DeleteIsaac and Rebecca Genesis 24: 50-54
ReplyDelete50 Then Laban and Bethu′el answered, “The thing comes from the Lord; we cannot speak to you bad or good. 51 Behold, Rebekah is before you, take her and go, and let her be the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has spoken.”
52 When Abraham’s servant heard their words, he bowed himself to the earth before the Lord. 53 And the servant brought forth jewelry of silver and of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave to her brother and to her mother costly ornaments. 54 And he and the men who were with him ate and drank, and they spent the night there.
Having highlighted the above, some cultures overdo things. There should be consideration for young men who are just starting life; as well as others who are not financially buoyant
Where did you read that the culture said they should bring all of the above? Please, go and re-read the Bible before you put yourself in trouble.
DeleteAbraham was a verrrrry wealthy man. Do you think what he gave is what Joseph's people gave for Mary, when the men were obviously in different income brackets? Is it a single matchstick Abraham would have given for Rebekah on behalf of his son, Isaac? Even the gifts Abraham gave can't be an accurate exchange for a human being, but people should have sense abeg.
Did Rebekah's people have to demand anything? So even if they don't tell you, you won't know that you don't go to someone's house empty-handed when you're trying to ask for something? So people think it is normal to go and marry but not take anything along, as you're able? People think they can behave anyhow and call it civilisation.
We want to throw everything away so that we can claim civilised. There are ways to deal with greedy relatives, if they're the problem. Stop pulling stunts that will come back to bite you. That's how people will co-habit and breed together or do registry wedding without checking anything. Then, tomorrow they'll be in the news cos they unknowingly married and had children with their blood relative or even a ghost! Where and how will you start to solve that one? I just dey look una dey laugh. Wen something never happen for ya front, e dey like story.
Meanwhile, the oyibo we try to copy, have their own culture. When I first travelled abroad as a student, my first job was as a waitress at a wedding. I was shocked to hear the bride's father paid for the wedding. I thought it was unusual till I worked more weddings and heard it's part of their culture. Now, even more than 10yrs later, I still don't understand that kind of culture. But there is a rationale for it. Sometimes, different doesn't mean better or worse; just different. Yet, Africans want to be applauded for silliness. We want to throw away EVERY part of even what is decent and working, even the ones that are not harmful cos it is "African".
Let me go and thank God for the husband He gave me, that does what he can and should for me. Yet, his only complaint is that I don't ask. Is this the kind of nonsense I'd have been subjected to, if I married a man that didn't respect me enough to find out how they marry in my place "cos we met in town"?
it depends if the lady is a graduate or not
ReplyDelete@Dede Ugonna
DeleteReally??
some part of imp dy do it on that basis my uncle spent more becos the wife na nursing student
DeleteMy husband friend followed his footstep to come and marry Nigerian. My list was like 400k everything plus food they will give to umu Ada and nna. Total wasn't too much. The guy go find love for calabar side..see list ooo.6 full pages of A4..i even saw 2shoes and 3carton of snaps..the cartons have 12 in it.
ReplyDeleteCalabar or Akwa ibom?
DeleteHow I wish I still have d one my cousin collected from his inlaw to be in akwaibom. 5 pages list
ReplyDeleteAkwaibomlist eh is like novel Mbok akwaibom is expensive joor .
ReplyDeleteIMO state dey learn for where Akwa Ibom dey,their bride price na die, if it's possible when it's time for me to get married I will definitely argue the list cos I won't agree
ReplyDeleteStella bride price makes you an official wife according to the tradition of your people, scraping it means theres no marriage besides traditional marriage has the easiest way of divorce just return bride price marriage is over, some town in ebonyi state don't return bride price if the woman has a child for her ex spouse if they are divorced
ReplyDeleteBride price shud not be more than 5k, then list items follow suit, pata pata 200k is enough. This expensive dowry and list payment shud be stopped.
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...is not so
ReplyDeletechai... abia state bride price I no want talk am.oooh but if u want know mbok ask chidinma d ngwa girl.
ReplyDelete