STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WORRIED MUM
Hello Stella,
I write this mail with so many thoughts running through my mind. I feel like I have let my family down and I would appreciate advice, suggestions and general input of mother's who have been on this journey.
One fateful day, I wanted to check up a YouTube video and to my bewilderment, I noticed some strange downloads (errotic videos precisely).
Stella I was beyond scared because I know it's only my immediate family that have access to my phone. Later in the evening, I called them individually for a one-on-one discussion and asked if they viewed anything age inappropriate and they all said No.
I told my husband amidst tears and unrest. He advised that I changed my password so they don't have access to my phone. But I wanted to get to the bottom of the issue, so I let them carry on with it, but was always on the lookout for who had it and what he/she was using it for.
On Friday Last week, I organized a play date with some of their friends and I noticed one of my daughters wasn't with the others, so I called for her and she answered. But I noticed there was something odd about how she answered, like she was scared. My mind immediately went to my phone.
My Goodness! She was on YouTube. I couldn't bring myself to watch precisely what she watched. But the images I saw broke my heart.
My first instinct was to beat her, Not because she was "exploring her curiosity* but because she lied and she's just 5 going on 6 this March.
I know beating her won't solve the issue, and I am tempted to punish her by denying her a Class Birthday celebration. But I wish there was a way I could erase What ever things she's been exposed to.
I have called her to know why she said while watching some YouTube cartoon stuff, she decided to scroll down and her curiosity got the best of her.
Now I know who's responsible, I have restricted them to only Kiddie search engine and changed my password.
Please parents who have been through this road, How did you handle it. Thanks in anticipation.
*Wait!!!!!!!......Did you say 5 years old?Madam please let me faint first...WHAT!!!!!
Stella biko shift to the left so I can faint by your side.
ReplyDeleteTake her to a therapist. Take all screens away for now. Buy books
DeleteShift let me faint too, 5 going to 6.
DeleteDefinitely someone has been watching such in her presence.
But wait o, how did she know how to search for such videos, I mean the words. OMG. Faints again
You are still contemplating on weather to beat her or not. OK, contain. 5years????see eeeehhhh better ask her who has been raping her, if you are lucky that she has not been introduced to sex then ask her how she got to the site. Knowing that she is the one using the phone is not the end of the search, it is the beginning. You must uproot this now and yes. You have to beat when need be. If your phone is not available, she will always have access to other people's phones or better still, she will steal one once the opportunity presents itself.
DeleteParenting these days has become flaccid.. Meanwhile we are in the toughest of times cos gadgets is one second away to exposing our kids to the filth of this world. Gold, diamonds and other beautiful gems we kill our selves to acquire passes through the toughest process.
This same society that will tell you that beating your child is an abuse will try a child as an adult and sentence to death or life in prison. They will be beaten raped, introduced into gangs and other things inside those correctional facilities, the society won't be there to ask them to stop the brutality inside prison but they will be fast to judge a mother.
Woman, that your girl child is now an adult and you must take the bull by the horn and save that young soul .
To other parents, can you please stop your kids from using your phones? One day they will pick a relatives phone same way they take yours and bump into adult content and that's the end of their innocence. My kids don't touch my phones, they don't even look twice at any phone . It is not a toy.
By the way, studies has even shown that kids that uses phones and other gadgets early in life has low IQ and low cognitive ability. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.
My dear. So if she just bumped it on the site, how did she now know how to get back to it? Please give her your phone again and ask her to go to the page. Then you will know if it really accident or she knows how to exactly search on YouTube
DeleteThere is NO PORN ON YOUTUBE so Madam poster, this story is either made up or you have a porn app on your phone which your child has been accessing... A 5 year old is even too young to have the appropriate vocabulary to search for porn. She's just accessing a porn app. Madam, start by deleting the porn app on your phone.
DeleteExactly!
DeleteYouTube doesn't allow porn. Just birth videos and breastfeeding videos show a woman's body but anything sexual is not allowed.
My thought; you have been watching porn and haven't cleared your browser history, so your daughter picked up your phone and saw what she's not meant to see...
My advice; clear your browser history ALWAYS, and put a password on your phone.
The story is not complete. I'm sure poster have some pornographic videos on her phone or she has been downloading and watching porn videos without deleting the videos and history. So I'm quite sure the little girl stumbled on it and out of curiosity, decided to explore what her mother has been watching. but poster just doesn't wanna take the blame and she is looking for ways to twist the story. of course nobody go agree say them dey watch porn na.
Deletei'v seen a similar case like this before in the school I was posted to during my youth service, a little girl in KG3 told her classmates that her mother has plenty videos on her phone and she watched a video when a man put his penis inside a girl's bumbum and the girl was screaming "ah ah". the school had to invite the mother. she wanted to deny at first but it was too late. She has a lot of erotic videos on her phone and no password on the it. it was this same little girl that said she caught her dad pressing and sucking her mother's breast. some parents are terrible sha. just know that anything you do, your children are watching. don't think they are too young. kids are smarter nowadays. If you know you have erotic videos on your phones, pls put a very strong password on it biko. I don tire
Nothing like that on YouTube..... Except nudity
DeleteAnon 17:31 see me trying to recollect if YouTube that I've searched several times has porn. Poster your story is not complete
DeleteCareless working class mothers. Hisssss
DeleteYouTube doesn’t have porn Aunty.
DeleteThere's plenty of "porn" on YouTube. They are just disguised as regular movies, mostly oldies from Tonto Brass and likes. So you all should chill like she doesn't know what she's saying.
DeleteIt may not be YouTube but a site for cartoons. My son also accessed a pork site from search for ninja turtles and that's a story for another day! Thus woman is in pains if you can't be sympathetic be empathetic. It could happen to the most careful person like myself. So pls back off on trying to make her of as a liar. Not fair!
Delete@beauyiful anonymous keep quiet there. are u the poster? una go don shit for church finish dey find truth to take cover am up. so much for being a mother. mtchew
DeleteI have just one question.WHAT IS A 5 YEAR OLD OLD DOING WITH A PHONE?WHAT CAN THEY POSSIBLLY LEARN ON THAT PHINE THAT CANT BE LEARNT IN THE ENVIRONMENT.THE EARLIER WE REALISE THAT TOO MUCH EXPOSURE AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE IS MORE HARM THAN GOOD.
Delete@black girl this is the comment I was hoping to read. How come nobody sees anything wrong with a 5yr old having access to a phone. Parenting this days dey fear me. Its not love. Its foolishness. With d manner of things the internet exposes kids to u dont do that. How about her reading ur private chats with hubby and other stuff, aint u worried about that?
DeleteMadam beat that child and ask her more questions cos the fact that she denied when u 1st asked is a flag.
@black girl this is the comment I was hoping to read. How come nobody sees anything wrong with a 5yr old having access to a phone. Parenting this days dey fear me. Its not love. Its foolishness. With d manner of things the internet exposes kids to u dont do that. How about her reading ur private chats with hubby and other stuff, aint u worried about that?
DeleteMadam beat that child and ask her more questions cos the fact that she denied when u 1st asked is a flag.
You guys are so so ignorant on this platform. YouTube has so many porn on them. There's a lock somewhere on you tube that you lock it needs ur permission for you to unlock to access porn. I believe urs was unlocked. It's not ur daughter's fault it happened to me as well around ur daughter's age, your daughter was watching age appropriate cartoon but it leads to some inappropriate things on utube. Now a days they hack all these kiddies website at times and introduce porn to kids. It's d age we live in. Don't trust all these kiddies website also monitor it while they learn. You are a good mother. Don't let all these trash bags judemental idiots tell u otherwise. They should use their opinions as their f***** mirrors.
DeleteMadam you need to book appointment with MFM for special delivery and casting out of demonic spirits. Na wa!
ReplyDeleteEverything is not deliverance, mumu
DeleteMumu abi ode? You no see him name, okon olodo.
DeleteLol.... Na real wah
DeleteYour story is halfassed. YouTube doesn't stream porn. Try again madam, you probably have been watching porn and somehow your child stumbled on it. Or your 5 year old logged onto a porn site?
DeleteAnyway, All you can do now to take her to a therapist. And stop watching porn.
Oh dear , that little girl's mind must have been seriously messed up with those videos.
ReplyDeleteGod help her to erase the videos from her mind.
Madam for now.stop your kids from using your phone's, get them these children pads that doesn't have data packages, they come with various games on them so they can play to their fill, thats the type i got for my kids.
DeleteParents stop letting your kids have access to androids until 10. They can watch or play whatever games they need to on tv or computers. This jet age has done more harm than good...madam you did well in.beating her first coz she obviously knows watching those are inappropriate and that's why she lied. I'll be devastated if my 6yr old watches those too
DeleteMadam sad to say but your baby girl may not be a virgin anymore, but you could be lucky that she visits the site out of curiosity. If you like block ur phone, if you like stop her from going to the net, that will not stop it as she most have picked the idea up from a friend in school. Some parents are so bad in parenting that they spoil their children and Ii turn this kids go to school to pollute other peoples kids. I never had the chance of buying magazines or going to newspaper stands as a child, but some already bad kids at 7 already had access to lolly aka dauda the sexy guy and they bring it to school to show us. You need to have a talk with her and let her tell you who introduced her to the site. She will be fine as long as you walk the walk with her. Tell her sex is for adults and God won’t be happy with her if she does it when she is not married, tell her those people she sees in the video are all going to hell and they are looking for people to join them and that was why they made such videos .trick her just the way we were tricked not to eat meat from the pot and if we do rain will spoil any big party we do in future, meanwhile the truth behind that story was to stop us from stealing meat from the pot.by the time she realized your tricking her she would have been old enough to understand sex.
DeleteNice advise,school mates can be of a high influence to children.she also havea blame to take in d sense that she exposed her daughter to some certain things which a child at that age is not meant to have idea about. Imagine a small child having access to her phone to the poupoof using YouTube to watch cartoons .what happened to d kiddies shows and cartoons which is done on t.v
DeleteThank you push up. What is a 5yr old even doing on YouTube unsupervised. I don't just even leave kids with my phone like that. Number 1 I don't want my phone even spoilt as I also use it for work emails.
DeleteBuy children's iPad that doesn't have data plan. Don't know what a child is even doing browsing by themselves that age.
Hmmm madam your daughter started early o. She knows what she's doing and she knows it's bad that's why she lied in the first place. You need to discipline her well and give her enough talk on sex education. Don't think she's too young o. na so them take dey start.
ReplyDeleteNobody is highlighting d fact that she might have been sexually abused?.
DeleteMadam u are still thinking weather to do birthday ??? What!.
Birthday for what???. She needs to understand d gravity of what she has done.
Hiannn.
No more playmates. That's where they learn these nonsense.
No play dates for my kids.
Let them read bible
Since that whole #MomoChallenge that was going around earlier this year (whereby people hack into cartoon videos and tell kids to set their homes on fire; kill themselves and their family & do other strange things), I would advice parents to stop letting their kids watch things on phones/laptops and tablets.
ReplyDeleteDSTV allows one to record whole seasons of shows and movies. Use that option instead, and let them only watch things on TV. Nickelodeon and Disney etc. are more inclined to be security-conscience, and they ensure that their programs are safe and kid-friendly.
Nice one there, but nickelodeon is not kid friendly o
DeleteOn a normal day it's advisable to monitor d type of cartoons your children watch because not all cartoons have good influence on children.allowing a child access to one phone should have limit
DeleteThe hacking never happened. It was fake news
DeleteThere’s no porn on YouTube, except you’re referring to youporn or pornhub
ReplyDeleteI was wondering too...
Deletedon't mind the poster. instead of her to just tell us that she has some erotic videos on her phone that the child is also watching, she is using YouTube to cover up. she caught the daughter watching d videos she downloaded, not like the child searched for it on YouTube
DeleteEhn???!! Take her for therapy. FAST!!
ReplyDeleteShe needs to have those images wiped off her memory. If you are serious, indicate and I will send a number to Stella. She is a child so you wont have to pay for time. I am talking foreign trained therapist.
What do you mean by Foreign trained , girl get really , you fool yourself.Pls just get her to a good child therapist ,
DeletePlease contact this woman!! Parent monitor wat your child read or do on daily basis.. most of you buy big big phones for ur little children nd you think is a way of looking posh or big. Reason why we hv rape on the increase. Now this child hv filled her mind with sex. Just a little child. Wow. 5 years. Hmmm too bad. There is something wrong somewere.. pls parent watch wat your child access nd who they move with... sex matter nai go finish this generation.
DeleteWaste of time, strenght & valuable fuel....
DeleteCan therapy erase her memory entirely? Those images are already there, you can only ensure she doesnt keep feeding her curiousity
Praise Fowowe I hope I got the spelling right is good at stuff like this. He is a family life pratitioner. If she like she can contact him.
DeleteOMG😢😢😢😢please stop the access to your phone immediately!!try talking to her calmly, I don't think beating or punishment will do much good!!
ReplyDeleteI restrict my kids to the IPad with only kiddies apps and no internet access!!!
Even if you stop her from using your phone/tab, will you stop her from using an uncle, aunty, neighbour or family friend's phone when you are not around? You can't always monitor these kids but she can have a talk with her and let her know it is inappropriate for her to watch videos or images like that She was probably introduced to by friends or imitation. Chances are she'll watch it again, maybe not now but soon. Also ask her it someone is touching her inappropriately. Something like that can arouse curiosity in kids.
DeleteMadam ndo ooo
ReplyDeleteI been yarn am here before, any of ya kids especially daughters wey dey school age, cease that phone,no allow am near any phone at all. Put good police software for all ya computers. When I been yarn am, na thunder I receive for my smooth nyansh. Whosai!
Free toto/rod is everywhere these days; on the streets, for classroom, for church, cyberspace o. I been get some gist say some Naija school girls don dey carry small bed sheet for them bags; just spread am collect quick fork, collect quick cash. And na from phone all them hook ups dey happen o.
The girl wey I been yarn about last time (ofuuuuu, aghuuuuu), after her papa cease her phone, she come get another one (the latest samsung phone) come dey hide am. The papa pretend like im no see am. Na one time she dey sleep, come forget to hide am under pillow (e bi like say she dey charge am), the papa sneak inside her room thief am. Ngwanu, come and ask for ya new phone na, liver no gree am.
Things are happening. Small small girls especially secondary school sabi fuck pass their mama self.. spoilt generation
DeleteTheres a 15yr old girl i know, she's in SS3, but looks bigger than her age, you know how these kids grow, she confessed to me that her bodycount is already more than 5. I almost fainted.
DeleteYea very possible dear... A girl in my nephews class told him to show her his boy thing... The mum almost died from shock... Dey re in kg2... All u nid do is talk to her... Educate her using play method.... Thats all.. Watch her closely..
ReplyDeleteYou really need to sit her down and talk to her, I actually delved into watching porn late last year and I was always attacked in my dream when I do so, I realize my mind is a gateway in the spirit realm and what I allow in matters, I don't know if you are a Christian madam poster, give her confessions to take and pray for your kids without ceasing, most of it all, counsel her on sex education, be friends with her, so that whenever she feels like opening up on anything she isn't scared, your kids are taught of God and great is their peace. Shalom!
ReplyDeleteTry to check her privates so to be sure she isn't penetrating herself already
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what i had in mind to comment.
DeleteSpeechless mehn
ReplyDeleteYou should have started sex education at age 1. My sister daughter age 5 knows what's adult and what's for kid. So she knows she's not supposed to watch adult movies even Bollywood or whatever wood except cartoons and kids stuff. For her to have lied shows that she is fully aware that she's not supposed to see such. Start sex education NOW! It's not too late
ReplyDeleteWhich one is age 1 again? Mtcheeew
DeleteAs in 1 year!??? Una don start with fabu
DeleteDouble mtcheeeew! Some ppl talk without thinking i swear.... age 1.
DeleteWhy not start the day the sperm fertilizes the egg.
I pity mothers that give their children phones/tabs that have YouTube! Can't you buy a tablet that uses only WiFi then you can get videos and save in the tablet so they can watch.That's the problem with YouTube,always popping up plenty useless videos you wouldn't want to watch. Please mind the adults around her and kids too cos these videos have been watched severally for her to know what to search.
ReplyDeleteLet her not see phones and tabs anymore..God help u
You must have viewed one useless video in the past, YouTube will suggest 10 similar videos you may like.... enjoy!
DeleteTalk to her and questions her thoroughly to ensure that she is not being abused secretly by a senior person
ReplyDeleteYouTube?
ReplyDeleteYoutube dont allow such erotic videos oh, infact you cant see a dick boobs or pussy on Youtube, abi them don upgrade?
Either way, shes following someones trail, trace the cord to the wall & exterminate immediately.
Exactly. YouTube has no porn.
DeleteInfact, even educational videos that may have a sexual theme are censored and you have to log in with a google (I think) account which has the owners age at 18 and above.
You haven’t gotten to the root of this matter yet, you need to dig deeper. Sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her.
You guys should stop talking for a moment. Now a days on utube they target kids. I can relate with d poster. She is right youtube has porn. Pls start watching kid stuff u will be shocked on what u find. The child is still a child don't get it twisted nobody raped her. All she needs at this point is explanation from her mom what that is all about and the consequences of what will happen. Some of u judginas judging this situation, throwing insults anyhow urs might be having sex right in front of u, n u won't know. But it deems fit to overlook the canoe blocking ur eyes n offering opinions that are meant for u. U all should take a centurion chill pill n relax.
Delete5 years??? I guess she is in grade one at school, How did she know how to get to the video site on your phone in the first instance. Maybe someone has first of all used your phone to watch those sites and she mistakenly just found those sites without been closed and since then she has been watching. Madam do more thorough investigation, something is not right
ReplyDeletePoster please ask her properly I'm sure she lied to you again. I remember at age 5 I was already sexually aware because a certain neighbour's younger brother in the building where my mum had her shop was molesting me. He made me give him a head and touched me inappropriately. At that age I was sexually aware and I got even more curious to know what "blue film" was. At 8, I already knew what sex was and started to withdraw from guys especially the ones older than I was due to fear of being taken advantage of or molested again. I wouldnt let guys carry me or play with me. i could sense when a man has gone from normal play with kids to molesting. My mum's male cousin who was living with us at that time too wanted to molest me but God saved me. I couldn't even tell my mum what was going on with me cus I was too scared not of anybody but of her. I was scared she would beat me up and everyone would know what had happened and would make fun of me.
ReplyDeleteSo poster, ask questions. It could be that someone is molesting her and that awareness has made her curious about sex. Ask her in the most gentle way, if possible spoil and pamper her prior to your probe so she can feel relaxed enough to tell you what's up with her.
Exactly my thought. This child is very likely being sexually abused by an adult in her environment (home/school)
DeleteOh my God
ReplyDeleteMadam... I want to encourage you to take responsibility here.
ReplyDeleteIt's your fault that you did not put YouTube for kids app on your phone.
You can't deny your child a birthday for that. It's not her fault.
Spend time with her. One hr per week...letting her know the dangers of watching things like that and for the Internet.
Most Nigerian parents don't censor their Internet and even TV. They let kids watch inappropriate content online and on TV and then start blaming the child when they do crazy things.
It's not her fault. It's your fault. Accept it. Take her through a journey of therapy and for God sake....only allow YouTube for kids app on your phone.
If you beat this child...or deny her anything....you are simply punishing her for What's not her fault.
Its the child's fault to have lied to her mum. Please poster you can punish her for that.
Deleteyou are the cause,21st century mum that believes letting there kids stream video online will help them. now the onus falls on you to clear the mess cos that child may have to view that again when she has access to a phone
ReplyDeleteMadam, your child is 5 and you want to beat her for this? I don't know what you think beating will solve, I don't even have energy to talk. Please, follow Chikito's advice about the foreign-trained therapist. And start praying for all your children if you are not already doing so.
ReplyDelete"Foreign trained" 😂😂😂..
DeleteRubbish talk
Please handle the matter gently so that she is not scared of confiding in you. Call her and speak with her and let her know that such is not good for her. Ensure that you explain in simple terms to her. Just be more watchful.
ReplyDeleteOMG 😱😱😱😱
ReplyDelete🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆
5 years is too early, hope she didn't learn it from school. My daughter is 6 going on 7 and few days ago for the first time, she asked what they call the privates of boys and that of girls and she asked why they are different. Her mind is still very blank about anything sexual, she's only exposed to cartoons. I believe your daughter can't assimilate whatever she's watching, she's just curious and trying to understand it all. She needs help however.
ReplyDelete6 going to 7 and she doesnh know what the privart part for boys and girls are called?
DeleteAt 5? Wow!
ReplyDeleteHow can one get the kiddle search.
ReplyDeleteMadam no beating
Counsel her
Tell her what she saw us for only big people
Kids should not engage in such else they will go to hell fire and be called bad kids
Counsel her with her level of reasoning
Wait, Like nursery2 5year old? 😨😨😨
ReplyDeleteWhen did she start having access to your phone to now know how to download stuff from YouTube? I'm speechless. Please read Chikito's reply up and do the needful. It's not too late.
Madam ask her who taught her about the videos, then give her a serious punishment and take her to see the doctor and therapist
ReplyDeleteThe mum or someone has been using that phone to view erotic videos, so YouTube lines up related list of videos for you, the innocent girl must have just followed.... IG does same.
DeleteNo one taught her.
When kids are left with phones they just keep clicking on every and anything. I was dumbfounded the day I saw a boy of eleven years watching porn. He was sleeping and the phone was beside him I wanted to take the phone and keep aside so he doesn't lie on it only to see that he was watching a thing like that. I didn't know what to do and was too shocked to talk to him later but I imagine the effects on his mind
ReplyDeleteWorld don spoil since na, and na we cause am
DeleteOmg☹☹
DeleteYou need wisdom to apply all measures. It has become an addiction for her and if it's not broken. She will look for other ways to help herself. Dig deeper to make sure she's not being abused
ReplyDelete5yrs?😲😩
ReplyDelete5yrs?? OMG.
ReplyDeletePoster please ask her properly I'm sure she lied to you again. I remember at age 5 I was already sexually aware because a certain neighbour's younger brother in the building where my mum had her shop was molesting me. He made me give him a head and touched me inappropriately. At that age I was sexually aware and I got even more curious to know what "blue film" was. At 8, I already knew what sex was and started to withdraw from guys especially the ones older than I was due to fear of being taken advantage of or molested again. I wouldnt let guys carry me or play with me. i could sense when a man has gone from normal play with kids to molesting. My mum's male cousin who was living with us at that time too wanted to molest me but God saved me. I couldn't even tell my mum what was going on with me cus I was too scared not of anybody but of her. I was scared she would beat me up and everyone would know what had happened and would make fun of me.
ReplyDeleteSo poster, ask questions. It could be that someone is molesting her and that awareness has made her curious about sex. Ask her in the most gentle way, if possible spoil and pamper her prior to your probe so she can feel relaxed enough to tell you what's up with her.
Just speechless!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMadam,don't denied her birthday
Beating her will not solve the problem,teach her s#x education
What to watch and not watch
Don't be too harsh on her..
Sweetie, welcome to the 21st century. The internet is a double edged sword that cuts both ways. Unfortunately, kids are exposed to highly sexualised stuff that seem "harmless" prima facie but can instigate curiosity in the mind of a child. You need to see some of the dance moves kids come up with now at days! Even the clothes some of these kids wear... unbelievable! We're very selective when it comes to the kiddies parties we allow our angels attend and the friends they keep. We've been accused of being uppity and segregate based on class, which is not true, but for the safety of our kids, colour me whatever, I'll take it.
ReplyDeleteI remember this birthday party for an 8 year old, we attended. When it was dancing time, there was this little darling, about 6 years old, stepping up and all that was missing was a pole. She was dipping and doing it, gyrating her tiny pelvis and twerking her still developing bum! I looked in horror as the adults around were cheering, egging her on. Then a guy stepped forward and started "making it rain" with Naira notes. Hubby and I exchanged glances and we knew that was our cue to leave. I was bewildered but sad! How do you think she learned to do that? Obviously, she watched someone do it.
Honey, don't be surprised that your angel started off wanting to watch a music video or some other harmless stuff then started getting drawn in by more sexual materials. Have you had the sex talk with your kids? If you haven't, you should before they hear about it from the wrong source. 6 years may seem too young but nowadays 6 is the new 12. You can't afford to leave kids unchapperoned nowadays.
Please don't punish her, this is the time to draw her closer. Let her know that the materials she is watching are meant for adults. Let her know whatever pleasure she's deriving from them now will only lead to the wrong path because she is way too young to understand and handle sexual excitement. Ask her how she knew about the videos and if she watches it alone or with someone else? You need further investigation. I have a feeling she will reveal more if you handle this the right way. Then you can know exactly what is going on and to what extent.
Now that she has been exposed to such materials, you have to keep an eye on her and monitor her closely. Get her involved in extracurricular activities like swimming, piano lessons, ballet classes etc. Try to focus her energy on more productive things. Make sure she doesn't have access to your phone, let her watch kiddies shows on DSTV or some other source. Be calm sweetie, don't panic or you may cause more harm than good. Thank God you discovered this sooner than later.
e-hugs and kisses.
Only sensible response here. Children explore, they stumble along the way and it our duty as parents to set them on the right path with love and care. Don’t guilt the child to death abeg and don’t punish her please. Do take away unsupervised screen time while explaining to her with love why you do not want her watching tv or YouTube without adult supervision. Redirect her energy and curiosity with love, draw her closer to you. Make her comfortable to come to you with questions and be sincere as possible for her age with your response. Teach her what is good and bad viewing and touch, as well as and what is appropriate behavior. Redirect her energy and curiosity while establishing yourself as her first source of comfort and guidance. She will be fine, she has not done what other kids haven’t done and hidden from their parents. You are lucky you caught on so you can handle the situation. Pay her special attention over the next few days and let her be assured of your love for her.
Delete@Ronalda I always look forward to your comment on chronicle post
DeleteI appreciate your advice Ronalda. She already engaged in some of the aforementioned extracurricular activities. I am making effort to monitor her and find out more.
DeleteWow.. Good comment Ronalda as usual
DeleteMadam Poster, alongside Rolanda's counsel, please speak to Praise Fowowe about this. It is well with your family.
DeleteYou mean u give your 5 years old and less an internet enabled phone to download or kiddies movies or watch them online?
ReplyDeleteThis 21st century mothers eeh.
The damage has been done; pray she dosent find way to expose or explore with other kids. She is now dangerous to kids.
Whatever she has seen, if any opportunity present itself (especially with paedophiles, she will willingly want to experiment.
Beating and dening birthday cake ONLY, won't remove the images and thoughts from her.
Find out professional means, keep praying for her, and keep an extra close eye on her.
PS: I am old fashioned with my belief in some parenting style.
I can't give my kids, even adolescent an internet enabled phone. No.
If they must play games, I will get an IPad and send stuff to it for them.
Though we can't be perfect, but some things can be averted and the ones we miss, God will show up for us.
You exposed your daughter yourself. There's something called restriction but you didn't use it when you have them access to internet. It's like giving your kids access to roam around in a dark alleys on her own.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know how to punish such kid, i feel so bad reading this and can't just stop blaming you for being a careless mother..
😂😂😂😂.... The day DON will not blame a woman, i swear i will make that day my birthday officially.
DeleteAlthough hes right today, plenty dark corners on the internet 2day, literally begging & luring you to just click, parenting is not beans oh.
Someone has been watching what your daughter has been exposed to,how did she know what site to view(get your daughter to talk about her source.
ReplyDeletethere is a saying that when you give someone allow the person will ask for allowance and when allowance is given the person will ask for allowance.that is d case with this
ReplyDeleteParenting in this 21st century is hard. Good save us.
ReplyDeleteShe lied because she is scared. Beating and screaming at kids in Africa makes them scared, so they start lying at a very young age, which is wrong. Beating doesn't save problems, it worsened it. The girl stumbled on something you watch. Just clear your cache, and buy books for her
ReplyDeleteHi poster, I am a child psychologist, and at the same time a mother to young ones, just like you. First, the deed has been done, and you need not berate yourself further. Sure, you have made mistakes, but you need to move on, in order to save the little girl.
ReplyDeleteYou need to be very calm, at least on the outside, because she still needs your approval and love, so she will notvthnk that you hate her
I am the child psychologist anonymous, I didn't finish my most earlier.
ReplyDeleteSo you have to assure her of your love, and educate her properly as per sexual matters, then let her know the consequences of copying what she must have seen.
In addition, like someone suggested earlier, buy her books, and read them with her, give her assignments, encourage her to talk to you,and above all, please and please, don't scold her about it in publication c, neither should you bring it up anytime she does anything wrong. Above all, pray for her, and with her. May God help us all
I caught my 8yrs old son trying to molest her 5yrs old sis with very strong erection, I cried and sToped them From sharing same room but realized He cries and moan when he had his Hard on and always look for someone to hold and fondle to relieve him, my fears are: how long he's been touching his sister and possibly my house help and how can I help him? Please help
ReplyDeleteMadam, you need to understand that it is normal for an eight year old boy to have an erect penis, especially very early in the morning, and even when he is aroused. Since he is already exposed, you cannot rule out the fact that things of a sexual nature also can cause him to have an erection. If this is not handled properly however, the boy can begin to masturbate or try to find someone. Here are some steps that you can take
DeleteFirst, do not allow him to see his sister's nakedness anymore, if he has been seeing it,don't bathe or dress them up together.
Let him know that sometimes the penis can become hard, this is because some psychological processes cause blood to rush down there sometimes, making it hard, and that it will go down after a while.
Help him with activities that are more physical, like teaching him to play games like chess, engage his mind and as much as possible, do not allow him to be all alone especially with the sister.
Monitor the movies, and the stuff he is exposed to, on TV
Sometimes, a cold bathe can also help the painful erection.
Lastly, talk to your girl too, and start sex education if you are yet to start.
And I always say, don't panic,at least outwardly, you need to maintain control. It means a lot. I wish you all the best. Still the Child Psychologist.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteI have an idea what might have happened. There is this site i go on to watch movies and a lot of adverts keep popping on, whenever I mistakenly click on them, I am always taken to a porn site. So my advice is this, buy your kids a portable tab without internet connection. The only thing they can watch will be the cartoons you have downloaded for them on the tab.
They don't need the internet right now, a lot of things are on the internet. They come with safe looking links and by the time you click on it, it becomes porn.
You can download games and puzzles and educative things but do not let them have access to the internet.
Also, talk to your daughter, no need to flog her, let her know things like that are not okay and please deny her of her birthday. There has to be a punishment but beating won't solve it. Talk to her about how she has disappointed you and she needs to make it alright.
Everyday she has to write 50 times "I will not do that again" for like a week.
I wish you the best Ma'am and God will take control and take all she has seen away from her and it will in no way affect her character.
Madam you have not yet got to the bottom of this until you find the adult or some other person who first exposed her to it; that person could be part of the family, a friend or in her school. 5 year olds don't just develop curiosity for porn just like that. In fact they recoil from it unless they are encouraged to do it, you better do more investigation and when you find such person ensure you expose him/her because who knows how many other kid's lives he/she is destroying already and put a permanent separation between such person and your child.
ReplyDelete