STAND LONE NARRATIVE
FEELING GUILTY
Hello Mrs. Korkus, I hope this mail meets you well and please post and keep me anonymous.
Hello Mrs. Korkus, I hope this mail meets you well and please post and keep me anonymous.
I have a friend that's more like a sister to me like we are so close and we open up on almost everything about each other. She's really nice to me and i try as much as possible to reciprocate.
I started dating my boyfriend some months back and we already have plans of settling down. My boyfriend is very close to my friend. He calls her almost everyday, he loves to have her around him, I sometimes feel like he gets jealous when she's with another guy (she doesn't have a boyfriend for now though).
My friend had her birthday some days ago and he got her the same gift he got me for Valentine and hers was even better, I'm not supposed to have a problem with him getting her a gift but i feel some type of way. I know my boyfriend is a nice person and i trust them both but I sometimes feel jealous over how passionate he is about her and i truly don't want to feel this way cos i don't want to be a bad friend.
I spoke to my boyfriend about it and he said he was being nice and nothing more but now I'm feeling guilty like I'm betraying my friend. I just want to know if I'm wrong for feeling jealous or not and if I am, i will take my mind off it. Thanks
*You started dating your bobo some months back and you already HAVE PLANS of settling down?Even men that have already settled down cheat!!!
Your friend is extra nice to you so that you wont suspect she is sharing your boo....
OPEN YOUR EYES BEFORE I LAND YOU HOT SLAP!!!
You are being taken for a ride,continue being naive and acting the fool,I am sure you will be invited to theirs or he will marry you and continue with her.....
WAKE UP!!!
You, Your boyfriend and your bestie are all MAD!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree 😁😁😁😁
DeletePoster your fears are very justified poo. Never trust anyone. Even if they don't have something, he shouldn't get you both same gift EVER. Ure the gf so yours should be different. Plus better reduce their closeness b4 it turns to something elseooo. Goat and yam can't be in same place without the goat eating the yam. Be wise
DeleteHaha haha mad kwa..
DeleteWell miss poster should follow her instinct
1556, Thank you for your comment. You cannot keep a tuber of yam in a goat's room and expect the goat not to eat it. This, here is what happened to me. I had a friend l took for a Sister. But, guess what? She and my husband were having sex in my house. Poster's eyes will soon be clear. If not for Grace, I would never have found out.
DeletePoster, you better open your eyes. What does your boyfriend keep calling her for daily?
Your friend isn't a nice person too. She de chop codely. How would your boyfriend feel if he had a bestie and you do exactly what he is doing?
Poster, 2 questions for you:
Delete1. Are you a teenager? This couldn't have come from a grown adult.
2. Do you live with your boyfriend or does he always want your friend around in your absence?
3. Is your boyfriend jobless or when does he get the excess time to be with you.... and your friend?
Get busy cos you're obviously jobless and leave that community penis so you can focus
You are unwise.
ReplyDeleteWait till you get their invitation card na that time that bestie nonsense will clear from your eyes.
Could it be your girlfriend that Tonto Dikeh called out the other day? Oh it's your boyfriend and not your hubby. Iti aki!
Some girls the try oh! My man and my girlfriends can't be friends biko. He can only be closed to my sisters and that's because I trust them.
DeleteDear poster you boo is gbenshing tour friend. Dey dia make pant wear you.
ReplyDeletePoster are you a learner.... These two have broken bed(in bb voice) tire .
ReplyDeleteYou are not betraying anybody, just do your findings, na there you go fear.
Even scatter bedsheets join.
DeleteI tell you! Imagine buying the same gift for both of them! As per co girlfriends abi? I won't be surprised if he dumps poster for her friend soon. Planing to settle down ko? Planing to settle up ni.
DeleteJust shine your eyes
ReplyDeleteBe at alert anything can happen between the two of them.
Your boo is stylish falling for your girlfriend just shine your eyes well well..
Give them close marking
Babes are not smiling this dayssss ooo
Hes dating or he likes her a lot(ur friend)but can't end things with u..if he had meet her first,he will not be with u.
ReplyDeleteThere is 94% chance they are already having sex right under your nose.
DeleteYes ooo, right under. Friends have taught me something.
DeleteYes ooo, right under. Friends have taught me something.
DeletePoster snoop and read their messages and you would be Shocked... this has happened to me before.. u better be wise cow u are clearly foolish to accept this nonsense.. how old are u sef?
DeleteEehyaa, what a caring bf you have.
ReplyDeleteHe's just being nice my foot!
Lie low n snoop on their phones, check d SMS they exchange.
For all I know, they could be hiding in plain sight.
If he hasn't broken her bed, he will soon do it. If my bestie bf start buying me gifts better than my bestie own, my antennas will be up coz guys have a funny way of misbehaving sometimes.
He's busy fantasizing about her cute arse as we speak, lol.
There is a word called LIMITS
ReplyDeletePlease start another relationship with someone else
While you string him along if you can
Before you come back crying Pamela why on this blog
Just cuz you chose to put all your eggs in a defective basket
God bless you for this one. Thats what i will do too. I have a bobo who i can turn backwards for, but dude dont give a damn. Just playing on my kindness, i should take this advice too. Have a side bobo and dump him eventually
DeleteAnon 1652
DeleteThat's how we teach them how we love to be treated
Just move on
Maybe he will then realise and acknowledge that you're who he wants be with
If not you loss nothing either
Cuz you are already onto the next available guy
Thanks dear
Lol @ open your eyes before I land you slap. Poster read the handwriting on the wall, this is how it starts oo.
ReplyDeleteWhat nonsense is this, poster?
ReplyDeletePlease please and please learn to set boundaries!
Mrs Sharon take 5
ReplyDeleteShuga girl your head is there
Mk i no too vex..........as in my bf buys same/better gift he got me for val for my 'bestie'
wehdon ma
lolzzz what did I just read now my dear poster your friend shouldn't be too close to your boo oo haba are you children nii and by the way mind what you tell your so called friend because I dey sure say na your mata Dem dey discuss untop bed
ReplyDeleteGetting her same gift her got you annd hers way better???shine your eyes,thats was overboard.All the best
ReplyDeleteListen to me,
ReplyDeleteIf you are not cool with it, you are not cool with it. End of story.
Complain and insist that it stops. There is no reason why you should put up with anything that makes you feel uncomfortable in your relationship. This is not an issue of whether your boyfriend and girlfriend are innocent or if he is nice or whatever. The point is, you do not like it. The same way you would try to avoid things he won't like , he should try and avoid this one. Lots of guys are nice to their partner's friends without all this drama you described up there. The same gift for Valentine's Day!?? Jeez!! I know I would hit the roof. Is she your only friend??
Please read Stella's red ink like three times and WAKE UP!
Mmmmmm sincerely it might be an innocent gestures but he should treat you more special.
ReplyDeleteAnd girls nnees to respect their friends relationahips,when the goody goody is getting too much,give him a reality check.
Innocent gesture not when its the same gift. She should have a special treatment.
DeleteIt's like to him they're on the same level.
DeleteI didn't want to comment but seeing that most people are calling for the bf's head I beg to differ.I've met very nice guys and my friends bf once gave me 100USD in 2004.My friend casually said "He hasn't given her that much before " and we laughed over it.
ReplyDeleteFor starters, it was my friend that told him about my money needs at the time and he suprised me with the cash in her prescence.I wasn't close to the guy wether he gave me out of pity or likeness only God can tell.
I always like to believe the best in people until proven otherwise.If your girlfriend can date your boyfriend if he asks her out then you have no business being in that circle.This should be your real worry----> Who is your friend?
🤷♀️
Your friend's bf ONCE gave you. Once. One time.
DeleteWas you friend’s bf jealous of guys hanging around you? Did he call you everyday and wanted you around him everyday? Wasn’t it your friend who told him your financial needs?
DeleteYour case is different jo... abeg shift
DeleteAll I will say at this point is ladies will do well not to ignore their intuition.
DeleteDid he call you everyday too?
Deleteyour boyfriend is in love with your best friend take this to the bank!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe any matured babe would allow herself be taken for a ride... like you believe he is just being Nice? Aunty he likes her and wishes he was with her.. tbh you are the only stumbling block...
ReplyDeleteHow you guys allow such closeness between your partner and your friend, I'd never understand.
My mom's case thought me a serious lesson... I don't even allow people that close... her suppose bestie' s older sis is my dad's wife presently. It was a well orchestrated plan.. y'all be seating on bicycle these days.
Poster be wise!
“taught” ooo not thought. Na wa for English
DeleteHahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
ReplyDeleteNa who give Naija girls these kinds of brain eh?
Baby girl, you dey prepare for a 3some no be marriage o.
If na marriage, you for know barrier. That guy is 'our boyfriend"
and the girl na nwunye di m
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Na real our boyfriend, smh 😎 🚶
Deletecut ties with her stylishly abeg. Nice indeed
ReplyDeleteOpen your eyes and be wise
ReplyDeleteThere's no smoke without Fire. Yes, you can be nice but this is too much.
ReplyDeleteDo not accuse anyone but watch carefully and you would definitely see a clue. Do not involve your emotions in this act to be able to get results.
Nne you are about to have your boyfriend snatched. You are okay feeling jealous o na so e dey start, Y is he calling her daily, wanting her to come around, your man might be nursing feelings for her already. His actions are really gross inappropriate and disrespectful. Even before getting that gift he should have discoursed it with you, or just given her money, but no bought her the exact thing he got you. My dear we women have instincts just that sometimes we overlook them, and it's that instincts telling you something is crossing the line that's making you feel jealous. Please call your friend and ask her to stay clear if she likes let her go, delete his number be careful to pull them apart because there is a thin line between love and pity. Don't do it like you are trying to separate them if not he will pity her that's if he does not love her already be cautious. That your friend is evil, she knows what she is doing that birthday gift he bought the same with urs and even better is a sign his mind is not clean. If you can't break them be watchful, talk to him and ask him stop and if he does not think of breaking up with him, the guy no get sense. You ma you too mumu in the name of goodness. No let them send you card n4 ya eyes clear
ReplyDeleteA real bestie should consciously keep a respectable distance from your bf to prevent scenarios like this from happening.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you've been gushing with sweet gist to bestie about bf and maybe vice versa to. So I guess this maybe your fault.
They may not have anything going on YET but I bet you she's giving him the greenlight.
Watch two of them together preferably when you aren't present and study their body language.
our instincts most times are accurate, we just choose to turn a blind eye.
From being nice to being in her arms. there should be limit darling. Remind of someone that said before he picks a girl he needs to see the whole squad that he can't have a girl and be lusting for one of her squad
ReplyDeleteAnother mumu chronicle has landed, Bv's are coming for you. You know the truth but choose to turn a blind eye cos you're scared of leaving him.
ReplyDeleteStella which one be before? abeg LAND HER BETTER HOT SLAP WITH ELECTION FURY THAT IS BOILING IN OUR MIND...mtcheeww
ReplyDeleteThe 3 past chronicles just states the obvious, girls have fish brain.
ReplyDeleteYou are right my dear , how can someone be reading stellas blog and refuse to learn in this day and age. Do you live in a cave ? All the movies you watch nko don't you learn anything?
DeleteSeconded
DeleteSnoop poster, snoop... You would find what you need.
ReplyDelete"He got her same gift and her own was even better than yours"? Sis, your boyfriend is gbenshing ur girlfriend
ReplyDeleteOne of the basics of an exclusive relationship is preference. You must be preferred and prioritized above any other female in his life except his mother for now since you aren’t married yet. What message is he passing across when he gets her the better version of what he got you? I really don’t understand the kind of relationships you ladies get into with men. You keep walking on egg shells and never addressing issues squarely. How dare he calls her everyday and wants her around him all the time? Isn’t it on this same blog we read of the young lady catching feelings for her encourager and even going ahead to consider if she would marry him in the eventuality of a divorce, just because he spends time with her on the phone.
ReplyDeleteIt’s better to lose fake friends early than when you’ve been burned. Tell your boyfriend to cease and desist whatever you’re not comfortable with. If he cares, he’ll put your feelings first and if she’s a hood friend she’ll respect that decision without feeling hurt or disrespected. And if they don’t, at least you know what you’re dealing with.
I like your reply,if he truly cares, he will not hurt and put your feelings first. Haba buying you guys the same gifts
DeletePlease paint a scenario to your girlfriend of how a lady told you how she caught her guy with her sister sleeping with each other and how the lady send people to pour acid on her.Let her know you can also do same if you catch your sister or friend with your boyfriend.Just do this and let fear grip her.
DeleteCalm down. RherwTh nothing going on. It makes you jealous so tell your friend and boyfriend to tone it down. What you didn't tell us is whether they were friends before you started dating him. I'm suspecting they were. He saw both of you and picked her so relax. As it bothers you, find ways to tone it down or just confide in your friend already. Not every friend wants your man
ReplyDeleteSo if they were friends before he started dating her, he should put her at par with his girlfriend? What kind of loyal friend will be comfortable getting the same level of attention from her besties boyfriend? Agreed not every friend wants to snatch a man but do you know if posters friend is in that category abi she should find out the hard way.
DeleteSo because he's dating her, the friends friendship should end. Why is she comparing gifts .Sister better live your life. You have the man. I'm sure he buts you things regularly . It's this one thing that he bought his friend that you've put eye inside
DeleteEnter your comment...he calls her everyday to discus what again???pls this nonsense has got to stop..like Stella said "open your eyes" if possible,snoop through her/his phone,and inform him that this closeness has got to reduce.wont be surprised if he falls out of love with u n falls for her..he got her same/better gift he got u..isn't that a sign already? and why get jealous when other guys approaches her..something isn't right here..pray for wisdom n be tactical in handling this issue....
ReplyDeleteGirlfriend let me teach U something, when U re dating, love ur man unconditionally, if somehow U don't feel loved as much, gradually step on the brakes & let him control the speed, while U deal with ur feelings. It's always best to leave the guy an option early enough, to either stand strongly with U or walk away with the confusion..
ReplyDeleteGood thing U have communicated ur feelings to him, now he knows U feel jealous about these acts, calm down & watch things unfold on their own. If U continue to feel a strong conviction about them, then it's most likely what it is..
Please, do not allow them make a fool of U. For ur own peace of mind, diplomatically pull urself out of that situation..
On the other hand, some men intend to win over the hearts of women they like by being nice to the friends their women care about. U should certainly know the difference, pay close attention to ur instincts... U will be fine!
Postrer dont talk too much. use your fone, put it on flight mode, then press recorder if you are around them. purposely leave the fone in your bag and tell them u want to get to the mkt or somewhere that you will be back in 1 hr time. i bet you your ear go full. come back and listen to the recording and if they are dating, dont say peem. just cut both of them off. you never see anything
ReplyDeletePoster you don't want to betray your friend? Well it seems that she has betrayed you already.
ReplyDeletePoster don't listen to Stella.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, your boyfriend is just being nice to your friend, dont let jealousy destroy your friendship with her.
Don't end up losing both your friend and your boyfriend just because of your negative thoughts.
Don't listen to all these people telling you that your man is cheating, you trusted your friend before now and don't stop trusting her.
You are really senseless you DON ,your iberibe no get part 2 ... your gf/should treat your best friend same way poster is being treated then come back and tell us how far ...Ode pataki...
DeleteLolzzz
DeleteI agree with you on the ODE PATAKI
Give him hot hot anon 22:32, that don has been mad for long.
DeleteAwwww! Poor baby, your naivety is almost endearing. I would be weary of a guy I just started dating who brings up the issue of settling down. That you are even willing and happy to settle down with a guy you barely know, speaks volumes about your mindset. Please sweetie, don't be that girl who says "yes" to the first guy who appears to want forever with her. Dating ought to be a learning curve, you should have other options that way you get to pick and choose who you want to be with.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, your boyfriend has absolutely no reason to call your friend once in 6 months, let alone almost everyday. Really? Why does he even have her number? Secondly, why would a guy you just met love having your friend around him, buying her gifts better than what he bought you on valentine's, acting all possessive? Aren't these red flags brilliant enough? Isn't the whole idea of dating getting to know each other?
Darling, you have every reason to feel a type of way. Your intuition is on point never ignore your spidey senses. Guilt is the last emotion you should be feeling right now because you are about to be played like a Spanish guitar by a "friend" you consider a sister and a smooth operator playing on your obvious desire to settle down. You stated that you just met this dude some months ago, shouldn't you guys still be in the honeymoon phase? He should be all over you and not catching feelings for your friend. Meanwhile here you are planning to get hitched. Perhaps you already have the colour theme for your wedding and what your gown would look like. Awww! I'll hazard a guess and say you were hoping your friend would be your maid of honour, no? More like maid of dishonour!
Consider this your baptism of fire, a right of passage. This should open your eyes to the harsh reality that those closest to you have to capacity to hurt you the most and betrayal is more imminent than you realise. Trust is a commodity too costly to give to a mere mortal. Sweetie, end this relationship while you still have your dignity. Delaying the inevitable will be detrimental to you. Trust me, the treacherous duo are concocting a plan to dump you like a bad habit. Make the Machiavellian move by outplaying the player. Please my love, don't feel like you are throwing away a good thing. If all you've written is true, then you're about to be torpedoed. You better dodge this missile before it obliterates your dignity as a Lady.
e-hugs and kisses.
Ronalda,you're always on point!
DeleteMaybe poster really likes the guy and can wait for him to choose.
Delete"I would be weary of a guy I just started dating who brings up the issue of settling down". Umunwanyi! 17:40, I am very sure you're married. Why are you and Stella trying to confuse innocent young girls that aren't? What's wrong in meeting someone and getting married to them in months? I can propose marriage to a woman I met in less than a month. The moment a man sees the type of woman he'd want to marry, he knows. Must you date forever? You wouldn't give this slimy advice if you were 35 and single. Let's focus on the main subject of discussion- her friend's closeness to her boyfriend. 17:40, you were my best here. I wonder what happened to you.
DeletePoster what you’re doing is threesome, three-way phonecall, three-lationship. One person needs to get out, either you or her. I don’t want to say they having sex yet, but they will, sooner or later. This is not about trust, it’s about limits and boundaries. You can’t keep goat and yam in the same place and expect the goat not to eat the yam
ReplyDeletehehhheeeee Stella abeg no kee me u wan her to see the hot slap coming she shud close her eyes
ReplyDelete17:40 do you guys suggest she tells a grown man he can't talk to his friend. The only thing you can do is apply wisdom. Yes her vals gift was more but what about all the other things girlfriend gets throughout the year. Why put eye in that one gift. My friends boyfriend at the time got me a nice gift once really expensive. He was excited about their relationship and was being nice to her good friend. Calm down . What did you want the friend to do? Reject her friends gift? If you take all the advice here and start trouble where there's none, the guy may leave you sef. My only concern here is whether you're marrying someone else's husband. If he loves her and not you, better you leave instead of entering a loveless marriage
ReplyDeleteI knew that was where you were headed anonymous oshi, she should leave the guy for her friend. Bad friend.
DeleteIf you are wasting your time with a guy, you are wasting your time with him.
Delete19:21 sometimes you have to lose a battle to win the war. What's the blessing in marrying somonso that loves another. There was a chronicle here this week with a woman whose husband loves another. It's very hurtful
DeleteI will advice you apply wisdom,please.Just watch both of them for a while,before making your conclusions..wish u d best
ReplyDeleteYour feelings are valid poster
ReplyDeleteOne of my mum's neighbour would always say...nwoke na nwanyi anaghi akpa uri( ask your Abia friends to explain).
ReplyDeleteWhat I hated most was the buying of same gifts and then, the everyday call. Biko what are they discussing?
Hubby can't even buy me same thing with his mum or sister not to talk of my friend. Wch kind yeye friend be that sef
Poster how old are you please? Be there while they sleep together right on top of you. This is not appropriate behaviour and it should not be acceptable to you. Where are your standards girl? If he's not ready to be respectful, break up with him immediately or else you will be hurt in the end when you see their wedding pics. Some people will tell you you are just being paranoid. Don't listen to them. All that matters is it's not okay with you and you won't stand for it. In all of the heartbreaks I've experienced, the common mistake I made was dismissing my intuition. Now, I know better. Our intuition is our GPRS, our compass. Given to us as a gift from God. Never dismiss it. That friend is not to be trusted to be receiving calls from her BFFs boyfriend every single day and neither is your manipulative deceptive boyfriend. Break up with both of them NOW.
ReplyDeletePoster how old are you please? Be there while they sleep together right on top of you. This is not appropriate behaviour and it should not be acceptable to you. Where are your standards girl? If he's not ready to be respectful, break up with him immediately or else you will be hurt in the end when you see their wedding pics. Some people will tell you you are just being paranoid. Don't listen to them. All that matters is it's not okay with you and you won't stand for it. In all of the heartbreaks I've experienced, the common mistake I made was dismissing my intuition. Now, I know better. Our intuition is our GPRS, our compass. Given to us as a gift from God. Never dismiss it. That friend is not to be trusted to be receiving calls from her BFFs boyfriend every single day and neither is your manipulative deceptive boyfriend. Break up with both of them NOW.
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...Poster i was in this ship with you oo.Ours is long distance.He met me through her and there are some pictures he sent to me in such an intimate way,telling me sweet things about it and all,so i was looking through her phone and saw them there.I was heart broken.The way he celebrated her on her birthday,lord!!And he's saying she's just a sister in the lord.Calls her the same name he calls me,that one i vexed and he stopped it.She was even at his family house for a wedding in october and he was still trying to tell me it's nothing and no feelings attached,and he treats everyone well but i am the one he has deep feelings for.Anyway i thank God i have closed that chapter of my life with him.Here i am wondering how i was so foolish.
ReplyDeletePoster ur mumu don do... Wake up...
ReplyDeleteBff in Nigeria abeg I cannot laught out,It’s obvious your boyfriend has a crush on her.The signs are there nah,d jealousy ,d gift and calls almost everyday.Even if they haven’t done it yet ,it will surely happen just shine your eyes and snoop .
ReplyDeleteYour boyfriend is dating your friend poster, take your boyfriend phone and block your friend from calling him immediately.
ReplyDeleteLmao
ReplyDeleteDear God, Please sustain and enlarge the coasts of SDK's blog, cos I don't know where else I will get this kind of daily laughter. I am reeling on the floor right now..my belly oo
ReplyDeletehe got her a better gift my royal arse...i dont play like that. dont be calling any of my friends everyday cos i dont do that to my friend's boyfriends or husbands..tell him he is too close to her for comfort and let him know how you feel. shine ya eyes cos if you feel there is something wrong then most likely there is...female intuition its called
ReplyDeleteI piry you.
ReplyDelete