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MARRYING A DIVORCED MAN COMES WITH BROUHAHA?



Good day Stella,

 Please help me and post my story as I need your red pen and advice from my fellow bvs. Please forgive the errors as I typed this with my phone.

met this man lets call him Mr X mid last year, though we started chatting on Facebook around May of 2018. On his profile was written single, so I assumed he was single after going through his profile, timeline and photos. 

He lives in the same state with my family, so when I came home to visit them in August, we met. He was so excited and so all over me. I had been single for 7 months prior to my meeting him, so when he started pestering me to date him I accepted. We went out and took pictures, only for me to wake up the next morning and our pictures were on his timeline with a lovely caption.

2 days later, my very close friend called me early in the morning asking me if I know so and so person, I told her no. She then told me the lady sent her a message on Facebook telling her to warn me to leave her husband alone, I was so confused and told her I'm not following a married man oh, she then advised me to be very careful that the woman sounded dangerous. I was so worried. 

Few hours later, another very close friend of mine called if I was home that she has a very important issue to discuss with me. I then logged onto my Facebook and went through my messages only to find this message from this woman warning me to stay away from her sister's husband that the game I'm playing will not end well. I was so angry and called Mr X, he told me he is not married but divorced that he is coming to my house now. I then warned the woman not to contact me again that her sister should face her ex husband and leave me out of their problem.

My friend arrived almost immediately, showed me messages she received from this lady with pictures of their wedding and a little girl that looks exactly like this man. I was very angry, devastated and heartbroken. Few minutes later, Mr X arrived and started begging me. He told me he was divorced and brought the court documents to show me. When I asked for his divorce certificate, he said the case has been in court and almost finalized, but he has obtained a traditional divorce. That he did not tell me because he was scared of loosing me (I'm someone who will never date a married man nor a divorcée). That having spent time chatting with me for months he knows I'm a no nonsense person and was afraid of loosing me. 

Here is his story:
He and Mrs X were dating for a while, but they were always having issues because they were not compatible. So he broke up with her but when his family found out, they insisted he goes back to her that he must marry her.( both of them are from the same village and their family house is close to each other) they told him city girls are not submissive and do not make good wives. That he should marry this one they know, that none of them will follow him to marry another girl. He then broke up with the lady he was dating then and married Mrs X. 

 They got married in DEC 2014 and by Jan 2015 they started having issues. Ending 2015, she gave birth to a daughter. 2016 was a tough year for them, filled with lots of quarrels and family meetings. That in one of those family meetings, she was asked to apologized to him but swore she won't not even if her dead father wakes from his grave. He got a job in another LG and asked her to move with him, she refused citing her job as a reason. So he was always going home for weekend. Anyway, their marriage became so toxic that in 2016 he spent the Xmas with his best friend. 

They kept having issues and she was accusing him of cheating (he swore to me he never cheated on her while the marriage lasted. I can't vouch for him sha cus i was not there). But the final straw that ended everything was when he came back home in May 2017 and met an empty house. When he asked his neighbours, they told him Mrs X came with 3 pick up vans and packed his properties that he asked her to bring them. He was shocked and drove to her parents house only to find all his properties outside covered with tapolin.

 He then called his people and they asked him not to touch the property that it is an abomination and if he takes them back he will die ( he is from this tribe that have a very terrible tradition). That he was depression for over 3 months after the whole issue and in Dec 2017 he went to see a lawyer to file a divorce for him. 

I then asked if Mrs X bought the properties, he said no, that his house was fully furnished before he married her. I asked him to go and appease the gods in their village and get back to his wife. He said he can never do that, that even if I refuse to marry him, she can not step her feet in his house again. 

The whole of that day I kept getting calls from friends ex classmates and cousins that they received a threatening message from Mrs X. That was when I realized she sent the message to all my friends on Facebook. I was so mad! This woman didn't even contact me before doing this. Now everybody (including my suitors) thinks I broke her home and snatched her husband. Well, since she has spoilt my reputation before everyone, I decided to stick with the man as I have nothing to lose again.

Now Mr X wants to marry me but I have 2 issues:

1. It's my faith - I feel marriage is still death and God hates divorce ; 1 cor 7 vs 10 -11and 27; Mathew 5 vs 32, 19 vs 9; Luke 16 vs 18; Malachi 2 vs 13 - 16.

2. My family said the woman will harm me if I marry him.

NB the divorce has now been formalized.
Encl: madam Stella, please find enclosed screenshots of my first chat with him documents showing the date she responded to the divorce petition.

*Have you not heard of people who never let go?...Why dont you find out what happened from her side?I know everyone deserves a second chance at love but if this man didnt tell you he was married before you found out,he could be hiding more that will shock you and he will claim he didnt want to lose you and that was why he didnt tell you........Do your homework WELL before you attempt to walk into Marriage!!!!