Hmmmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FALLING FOR AN UNAVAILABLE MAN
Hi Stella.
How i'm managing to send in a chronicle, so early in the year, beats me.
Okay..so! There's this guy in my life right now. We've been friends for quite a number of years now. Last year though, we grew closer. We've been paddies for some time. He's more of a ladies man.. And it used to be my thing to tease him about it; then throw in or two advice to help him score a chick.
Suddenly, we got closer, and feelings developed. I think it's safe to say, it was mutual.
Here's the thing though; i have serious trust issues about him.
This is someone i know to have ladies throwing themselves at him, now he is into me. It's kind of sweet to get someone who didn't use to show emotions for any lady, get emotional because of me.
The problem though is; it's not enough. He keeps saying he is not cut out for all the "emotional stuff". Every little argument, he withdraws. Though he acts all hurt and not ohkay when we are not good, he doesn't go all in to fix whatever the issue is, or try to get through to me. I find myself doing all of the work, which i'm not used to.
I don't know how this happened, but my heart is going in to deep, and too fast too! Every day, i tell myself that i can't deal with someone that doesn't put in as much effort as I do into this. This person isn't as all over me, as I was used to from other people in the past.
I'm sure he cares, but just not enough for me.
I find myself feeling bad at everything that goes on between us.. How can i detach myself and emotions??
Give yourself heavy knock on your head and if not enough better slaps to reset your brain.
ReplyDeleteBetter remove your mind from him fast. He has told you his mind
Lmao, yori yori idi bad!
DeleteThis one still dey talk love story talk.
instead of telling us, communicate ur fears to him, I'm sure you ll find your answers. you can start talking to another guy too, helps you detach from a bit.
Your village witches are fanning themselves with your picture. How can you fall for a bad boy with clear eye?
DeleteSo it is now that he came to realize you can be his girl friend. My dear let me tell you the truth, leave that guy he is not in love with you, rather he is just playing along. The person that truly love you will come your way. Cheers. @Blessed Princess
DeleteIf his name is Raymond, run. .. 🏃 🏃 🏃
DeleteLack of communication is d key. Stand firm and go 4 it.
ReplyDeleteGood girls will always fall for bad guys.
DeleteIts in the code.
That feeling of I made a bad guy straight is unexplainable.
E dey do like alcohol.
When he is done he will drop u.
Choose wisely.
You are an adult with a brain.
Later you people will be bashing Anna.
Una don see as e dey be?.
Kwakwakwakwakwa
He has achieved his aim by making u fall deeply in love with him.he is now doing shakara.Thank God say u don borrow urself brain.use that brain well before returning it to the owner
ReplyDelete🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆.chai, you're so funny.
DeleteYou are dating Yourself. So D same way you throw in 1 or 2 advice to help him score a chick 🐣. That is d same way am throwing sense at you. RECEIVE IT!!!
ReplyDeleteGood thing is u know d ship ain't sailing nowhere so you are how to get off. Cut him off. Tell him no more friendship. No more relationship. To your tents oh Israel.
ReplyDeleteThen block him on all fronts.
I was in your shoes years ago, he was a ladies man back then in school, if this guy enter someone girls go just gather am dey gist with am and I know he might be sleeping with some of them, he asked me out for over one year. I liked him very much but I don't want to be dragging babes with him or insults, because I respect myself alot. And i ended up not dating him.
ReplyDeleteThink about it very well, we don't really know his real characters, so ask someone who is your friend who knows him well to tell you
The guy is not just into you. Simple as that. I have been in your situation before.
ReplyDeleteI did all the work. Mostly called,mostly planned how we will even see. Which was very few times.
He will complain how he's not emotionally ready for a relationahip bla bla. He's looking for money. Trying to build up his business bla bla.
I just decided to cut him off one day. Stopped calling, deleted his no and blocked on whatsapp etc.
He got married awhile after. This is someone that didn't want a relationahip.
After I cut him off I too met someone who was into me as much as I was into him. Wanted to see me all the time that I even thought it's too much and too fast. We got married a year after.
Any relationship where you don't know where you stand. Trust me the guy doesn't really want you. I talk from experience.
A guy that wants you wont give you mixed signals. He will want you to be his.
BEST COMMENT! Poster grab the last two paragraphs by Anony 15:10, roll them into small small capsules and swallow 3x daily till you wean yourself of his wiles.
DeleteGbam gbam gbam say it louder sis. This is why i cut any guy off that gives me inconsistency and mixed focking signals. Ain't nobody got time for that!!!
DeleteHow can you be 37 single and be playing mind games with mixed signals and lack of consistency mixed with making me wonder if you are into me as you won't let me get to know you. When i ask you make yourself avail for me to get to know you, you tell me i am rushing you TF omo i next the nigga REAL QUICK no TIME and he is 37 while i am 31 mtchewwwww
I know for a fact a man that wants you will never make you or give room for you to questions his intentions he will be all over you so that he doesn't lose you to another.
Issa faxxxxx no printer needed!
Gbam gbam gbam say it louder sis. This is why i cut any guy off that gives me inconsistency and mixed focking signals. Ain't nobody got time for that!!!
DeleteHow can you be 37 single and be playing mind games with mixed signals and lack of consistency mixed with making me wonder if you are into me as you won't let me get to know you. When i ask you make yourself avail for me to get to know you, you tell me i am rushing you TF omo i next the nigga REAL QUICK no TIME and he is 37 while i am 31 mtchewwwww
I know for a fact a man that wants you will never make you or give room for you to questions his intentions he will be all over you so that he doesn't lose you to another.
Issa faxxxxx no printer needed!
You have said it all 👍
Delete👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
DeleteExactly ladies! Men know what they want my dear. And they do voice it, if you're smart enough not to get carried away by emotions and really listen. He's told he's not ready indirectly so take it to be exactly what it means. He's emotionally unavailable. We women have sharp intuition. When a guy is not into us, we know. And you must be ready to cut off and move on once you find out or else he'll string you along till you see the wedding pics on Facebook. There are are so many available fish in the ocean. Throw this one back in the river sweetheart.
DeleteYou are dating yourself. So the same way you “use to throw in 1 or 2 advice” to help him score a “chick” that’s the same way am throwing SENSE at you. RECEIVE IT!
ReplyDeleteLoooooooooooooooooooL
Delete😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁@anonymous chick. Poster, if someone shows you the real them, believe them. He is not into you.
DeleteYou got yourself involved with a player girl.
ReplyDeleteIf you haven't given him the cookie, cut all communication with him but if you have...carry your cross
Poster you find yourself doing all the work? Problem dey ooo. Better cut yourself off abi you want your heart to be paining you? Blackberry comman advise this poster ooo.
ReplyDeleteThis type no dey hear word until they break their bed, waist, scatter bedsheets, n break table join.
Deletelolzzz u forgot to include pants and bra later she go send in another Chronicle titled men are cheat
DeleteMy dear I've been there he does not love you and you will keep hurting until you walk away. Sometimes it's best to remain friends, you can't trust him cos you know too much. You love him but he does not love you.
ReplyDeleteYou feel "bad about all the fork wey dey hapun between una?"
ReplyDeleteNa who open leg; im rape you?'
Tell am say show don end make im waka find im house inugo?
You see am say im be chikitos hunter, you carry ya legs enter there no be so?
Dear poster,it’s so obvious he likes you but he doesn’t love you. My advise is that u find something to distract yourself,please do not invest your heart into that relationship,it’s buried on arrival self.I hate guys that feel they are God’s gift to women.
ReplyDeleteYour type hardly let go, is his dick game tight? Someone whom you know will hurt you, you still falling head over heels for him, did you eat his placenta? Or were u born into this world because of him?
ReplyDeleteBetter get sense, stop whimpering like a horny lovesick puppy.
maybe he's not that into you or he's feeling trapped with the emotional stuff. love yourself enough to let him go now, don't make room for him to cause you pain first. go back to being just cordial with him and if your heart can't take that, cut him off completely. sweetheart, you deserve to be loved just the way you want
ReplyDeletePoster cut ur losses and move on. If he wants you he will do the work to be ready.It is not ur job to make him do the work of being ready. He must do the work to meet u at the bridge. if not, move on.
ReplyDeleteHe is just not into you time waster ran 🏃♀️🏃♀️
ReplyDeleteThe same way you attach yourself is the same W you should detach yourself. Was I there when you people was catching feelings for each other,
ReplyDeletePoster how in heavens name did you ever think that a player who knows that he doesn't have to struggle to get a woman WILL BE EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED TO YOU?
ReplyDeleteFalling for him was a big fcuk up from your end, you are just another pawn on his chess board and the truth is this If he is not putting his all into you its simply because HE HAS CAPTURED HIS THE HOST WHO HELPED HIM RUN OVER WOMEN IN THE PAST...while I am happy that you are getting what you deserve for helping him break hearts in the past I believe it's high time you wake up from this foolish fantasy of yours that he will become an angel just for you.
You need to end this personal torturing feelings you have acquired as it will do you no good...walk away and count your loss,plus next time don't ever fall before a man does.
Let the man fall hopelessly in love with you first before you even agree to let him into your life, that way you never have to doubt if he's all in.
LEP😛
Emotions
ReplyDeleteEmotions
Emotions....
Imagine life without this thing called emotions.
Girl, take some steps backward and evaluate...
If you can't deal
Waka.....
But of course its easier to waka when the cookie has not been eaten, if it has most times you'ill keep settling while hoping things change.
Issa lie, if you wanna waka you will cookie or no cookie the people who get upset about the cookie thing are those who have only cookie to offer. sex should be mutual and you should do it to enjoy yourself, it shouldn't be about him or the relationship it should be about you.
DeleteHe doesn't love you. It'll hurt but let it sink deep.
ReplyDeleteI am currently with someone like that too. Each time we have issues, he tells me to do whatever I want.
In other words, he won't be bothered even if I decide to walk away.
It's clear to me this dude will not marry me so I used this as a reality check and ever since then, I ain't so into him as before.
Pull out as I intend to do and burn the bridges.
No time for time wasters.
Babe same thing I had to deal with recently
ReplyDeleteWhat I have done and it's working for me is:
Keep in touch though scantily but stop baring all that goes on in your world to him; MYSTERY
Only ask how his day is going/went when ever you feel like and full stop
Remember to always ask him to have fun like you just DON'T CARE
Endeavor to have FUN with the other guys; just go to parties and meet new people and make sure you CONNECT
From time to time (Temporarily) DISABLE/DELETE your social media account where you guys mostly connect on
MY dear don't do all the work make him think he is winning till you are emotionally disconnected from him; string him along all the way
Pay him in his own coin and you will watch him struggle and complain about your new attitude.
IT'S all a game to WIN!
Be dramatic too it shakes 'hard' guys like this up
For how long? Why can’t you be with someone you enjoy and can pick up the phone to check up on anytime? Why must it be a project with guidelines?
DeleteThank You.
DeleteAnon 1758
DeleteYou enjoy them but they don't enjoy your company
Emphasizing the DON'T ENJOY YOU
So e don turn project with guidelines to help regulate the scope
Shugar girl, I think the Anon means poster would fare better with a different man who reciprocate her love & protect her feelings, instead of practicing some guidelines on an unworthy person...
DeleteLove well I understand that poster is already emotionally connected with the guy
DeleteAnd believe me it's really hard to break free at once
It's going to be a gradual and deliberate act over a short period of time for poster to eventually get back her grove with or without that guy in the picture
Else there will be too many back and forth on this issue
babes you better give your self before that guy fuck clean mouth.start avoiding him.
ReplyDeletePoster please cut-off..these are the red flag signs but you’re obviously not seeing it cos you think you’re in love. That’s how ladies end up in loveless marriages and still wonder how they got there when they saw the red flags from the start
ReplyDeleteJust move on already, if he comes back, then let it be marriage, if he isn't ready for that, he should bounce.
ReplyDeleteChai...women and the marriage goal....so after hearing he is a player you still think she should accept to marry him????SMH. Poster Abeg runnnnnn fastttt... you guys are obviously ‘friends with benefits’ and you chose to get emotional....He is not into you emotionally. You shouldn’t be the one doing all the work at alll...Love yourself.
DeleteMarriage for what again? You ladies have no standard when it comes to the word marriage.
DeleteWho told you he cares? He doesn't care, he's only being emotional cos of the friendship bond btw u both. Better give ur self sense & move on.
ReplyDeleteBE like Ganga...
ReplyDeletePlease my dear, you need to stop loving that guy or else you ll fall into deep depression. Please detach your self or entangle your heart from that guy yo yo.
ReplyDeleteShe's doesn't need U to scare her though, only asking for ideas to be able to detach herself from the situation. If you know something that has worked for you or someone you know, why not share, some of us might learn from it as well ... we re all friends here, I believe
DeleteOne advice for you, stay away from boys that are emotionally unavailable. They will ruin you and you will begin to think you are not enough. Stay beautiful girl,keep your head high and walk away.
ReplyDeleteYou are dating yourself.
ReplyDeleteBaby girl please run as fast as you can.
ReplyDeleteThat's what happened when you put all your eggs and energy in one basket....My dear you are single dates as many as you can..You won't even notice if he's not emotionally available 🤷🤷🤷
ReplyDeleteNSK people, one of your own is very much on my case. Dude is obviously into me . Hes saying we should settle down. Friends for 7 years and we got closer lately. Is he a good man, Yes. Is he hardworking , Yes. Am i crazy about him, No. how can we go to a 4 start restaurant and youre asking the waiter what meal can fill a man?. She just handed the menu over to you now.Instead of you to read and pick something nice. Next question for the bar attendant, dont you sell bottles of beer here? Lord you know im not a wicked person, but I dont want to feel any resentment for him. Me sef im not perfect but im always slightly embarrased when we go out. Its always one thing from Dressing, manner of approach. God help your daughter please.
ReplyDeleteLol. It's either you take the time to groom him in manners and communication or you zap asap. You alone knows if he's worth it.
DeleteLmaoooo😁. I can relate.
DeleteLol. I pray you don't fall into the hands of a posh devil in human form who will beat you like a madman, kill you and host a posh funeral for you. Better face God squarely and ask him to show you your husband.
DeleteThis is so me... 15years ago, when I was a teenager. Poster abeg, you better leave all this nonsense if not, it'll leave you emotionally drained.
ReplyDeletePoster you are dating urself that's all...
ReplyDeleteHe's not very serious
ReplyDeleteNever u force yourself into people's lives. Never force love. It's a mutual feeling. Once you invest in love and your container sinks please kindly move on. Forget about your losses cos it's not worth it. At this stage u are the only one carrying it on your head. Even gala sellers sef dey drop market rest. Please he doesn't love you again or has stopped loving you. Don't beg for love. Drop him like a bag of trash
ReplyDeleteYou just have to discipline yourself more. He only wants to add you to the number of Chicks that he has laid. He doesn't have any deep feelings for you. He is not in-love with you o. Try to detach yourself from him by getting involved with someone else or getting busier. This guy doesn't have anything to offer you o, na to just gbensh.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn’t love you. You’re close to him and you know it. He won’t date the woman he loves for long before he marries her.
ReplyDeletePlease don't force the detachment, allow the feelings die a natural death... Soon, U will begin to resent him for all of these, then U find urself withdrawing effortlessly. Funny enough when that begins to happen, is when he realises he doesn't wanna lose U & starts to fight to keep U, because I think he cares about U, he's just not fussing over U... Either way, it's a win-win, yea? Relax baby girl, don't be disrespectful, stay polite all the way... U will be fine
ReplyDeletePlease don't force the detachment, allow the feelings die a natural death... Soon, U will begin to resent him for all of these, then U find urself withdrawing effortlessly. Funny enough when that begins to happen, is when he realises he doesn't wanna lose U & starts to fight to keep U, because I think he cares about U, he's just not fussing over U... Either way, it's a win-win, yea? Relax baby girl, don't be disrespectful, stay polite all the way... U will be fine
ReplyDeletePoster, try to communicate your fears and feelings with him, not everyone is emotionally open. Different people have different upbringing and sometimes it affects the way they react to issues. Free your mind from unnecessary expectations, Pray for him and remember you cannot change anyone's heart, only God can. After, you have a heart to heart talk with him, watch out for changes, if there is none then maybe he is just not that into you and it's okay. Someone better will find you.
ReplyDeletePoster, as hard as you may be for you. Disconnect, disintegrate,discharge and delete this guy from your recycle bin of emotions and self. He does not love you oooooo.
ReplyDeleteHappy new yeaaaaaar fam! It's been ages! You guys were sorely missed. Hello Stellz, feels good to be back.
ReplyDeleteSorry love, I had to make a mild entrance before commenting on your issue. My darling, the signs are ALWAYS there but we tend to use our hearts instead of our heads once we start catching feelings. I'm a tad relieved because from the title of your writeup, it's apparent you already know this guy isn't the right person for you.
How to get over the hurt is always going through the hurt. Allow yourself feel all you're feeling. Cry, scream, eat a bowl of ice cream... just do you. However, don't grieve for too long, make sure it has a short shelf life and make sure he doesn't see you falling apart. Trying any short cut like pretending you aren't hurting or going out immediately to have "fun" will eventually be counter productive. You can't be pretending to have a good time when your heart is bleeding. Deal with the pain first, embrace it and go through it, afterwards have fun. You'll be amazed at how much better you will start feeling with each passing day.
I always say, courtship is the time for the guy to do all the heavy lifting. The lady should call the shots because when you get married, the roles reverse. Though you remain a Queen, however, you now have a King. Baby girl, you can't be the one doing everything to make a relationship work, that's the clearest indication that something is wrong.
Let him go, sweetie, don't put yourself in a more precarious position. Remember, a guy can have sex with a "close friend" and act like nothing happened. Ladies on the other hand, have the tendency to assume sex means love, the feelings get more intense and we start acting all crazy when the guys pull away. I'm so sorry you fell for the wrong guy, it's one of those things. You will be fine, though. This will make you stronger and, hopefully, wiser. Never forget that you are a Queen! Only a man who knows your worth and is ready to fight for your affections is worth being with.
Cheer up my darling, this too shall pass.
E-bearhugs and kisses.
Our Ronnie is back!!! We've missed you too. Welcome back.
DeleteI like how your mind works. I particularly like the part U adviced poster to allow herself feel the hurt and go through it, it's just a healthy way to go about this, nothing forced ever turns out good, either forcing to be in or out of a relationship. While U re going through the hurt, U re learning a great deal from it, U know, like roses & thorns... Eventually U will get to point where U re in the position to decide whether to take him back or toss him out, depending on how U feel about the situation @the time
DeleteI like how your mind works. I particularly like the part U adviced poster to allow herself feel the hurt and go through it, it's just a healthy way to go about this, nothing forced ever turns out good, either forcing to be in or out of a relationship. While U re going through the hurt, U re learning a great deal from it, U know, like roses & thorns... Eventually U will get to point where U re in the position to decide whether to take him back or toss him out, depending on how U feel about the situation @the time
Delete🙌 Yaaaay! Ronalda is back!!!
DeleteWelcome baaaaack! We've missed your posts.
DeleteSee me grinning here
DeleteWelcome back
One old name to another👍🏼
You guys are beginning to send in "Meaningless" chronicles.... you obviously know what to do but just wanna send in a story..
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKai Stella you are bad oo. You did not even dignify this chronicle with a response. You just left her to her own folly.
ReplyDeleteGive him a chance. Who's causing the issues that make him detach? Are you starting fights and getting annoyed because he's not smoothibg things out? Let him know what you expect from yim
ReplyDeleteRecipe for disaster, a man in a relationship that he cherishes will do all to smooth things out. Don't advice her to be desperate please.
DeleteMary Mary Mary....
ReplyDeleteI see another chronicle loading.
ReplyDeleteWhat you are experiencing is sense leaving you. Your friend is doing the typical male thing, an available woman who is all about him and he only has to give small effort. You will find yourself in heartbreak faster than anything. If it was real, you would know. Use the small sense you have left and cut this nonsense off.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't a "good girl falling for a bad boy". This is what happens when a person reaps what they have sown. What do I mean? Madam, when you were giving him tips to help him get into ladies' emotions just to enter their pants, on what planet did you think it would end well for you? Lol. You helped a male ho exploit the vulnerabilities of women, knowing full well what he would do to them. You're like a demon-infested sister-in-law who thinks that God not striking her dead immediately means she's gotten away with her evil; she's so stupid that she doesn't realise God is waiting for her cup of iniquity to be full before pouring it on her head. So, you know and want good thing yet gave someone tips on how to do bad to others?
ReplyDeleteThis isn't a Hollywood movie where he'll suddenly realise he's in love with you, dear. Truth be told, he doesn't respect you. Why would he? You're as bad as he is; that's why he comes to you for bad advice. He's laughing at your hypocrisy. No matter how good a person wants to project themselves to the world, if you have a friend or family member who isn't afraid to come to you for bad advice - you're just an evil hypocrite and it's just a matter of time before your cup of iniquity gets full.
Poster, I don't know you, your friend, or any girl he led on. But I know that one of the girls has cried in a way that God heard. There are some things God particularly hates - feet that run to do evil. It's one particular girl; I don't know why it's her own cry that God heard. Your friend will continue as he is, and will actually die. But you - if you do not find her and make restitution, the plan that has already been activated is for you never to have a happy marriage and home of your own. There's no "God forbid" about it; it's already in motion. As you have helped him do this to more than one person (and that's the ones you know), I wish you all the luck you will need to find the one. Happy hunting!
PS: For the sake of your father's house and entire bloodline, pray that nobody got pregnant for your friend and aborted.
Who broke your heart? Where did you read where she said she gave tips to hook other girls? You have such an evil and bitter heart for typing this vitriol. My goodness! You need healing!!!
Deleteplease get out of the relationship ASAP
ReplyDeletei want to send a chronicle,please how do i do it