THE YOUNG ''TOASTER''
Hello Stella, I am a consistent blog visitor and try to comment as anonymous whenever I can, I love all the segments especially comment relieve post and sat/sun laughs.
Reason for sending this email, I know bvs have bad mouth, enjoy but please I need more of advise Biko, this might be long just for better understanding.
I have been married for close to 10 years with 3 Lovely kids(boys). I'm in my late 30s but don't look it at all. My marriage has its usual ups and downs ,but we do get by...this email is not about that...
When we relocated to this new environment, I like to be friendly with my neighbors,because I believe anybody can be useful in one way or the other,I also like impacting people the little way I can.
There is this guy that stays with his parents,they are hardly around always travelling to their village from time to time so he is mostly alone,when I moved there and observed most of my neighbors speak highly of him,how he's a graduate still job hunting and also calm compared to other guys. He is very hard-working cleans, cooks,washes his mom and dad clothes,market runs etc. Hes very nice to my kids and respectful, he's well spoken and handsome too.we gist a lot, I sit inside my gate and he stands outside and gist,most times he tells me how he is frustrated about being jobless etc. I advice him and try to lighten his mood.
He has never entered my apartment before. I can call him at anytime and send him errands, my husband strolls with him in d evening sometimes and buy one or two bottles for him. We are good family friends.
Let me describe myself, I am petite with curves in the right places and very flat tummy,I don't look like a mom at all, i just noticed if other guys in the area greet me and smile, he feels uncomfortable, I overlooked it.
Then one day, he said he wanted us to talk, only for this guy to be stammering and telling me how he wants to have a sexual relationship with me! I was dumbfounded! Like what! I trust you with my kids, my money( never given him cash, he doesn't accept when I do) he withdraws from the ATM for me.My husband comes from work and sees us gisting he smiles and greets you even shakes hands with you,he's very comfortable with you around us.
You need to see this guy very innocent talks calmly, have babes shaking their bum after him but he doesn't look at them twice, his house is opposite mine so I see all that is going on, even his mom has teased him in my presence about not having a girl( he's in his late 20s). Not like he's never dated before,but they broke up and ever since then he's been alone. Other guys even uglier than him bring in different girls but he doesn't! And na me after 3, married woman! I told him I had been too free with him and know he's joking before I walked out on him. Normally, I should have insulted him which is what I do to my toasters,but he's the least person I expected to tell me such!.
Now I am scared because, in the early stage of my marriage, there was a time I stood across the road waiting for my husband, one guy walked up to me and was talking nonsense, I was even trying to say "Bros I be married woman oo, see my husband", didn't know my husband already saw the guy and flew across the road held on tightly to the guy's shirt tightening his neck area, repeatedly saying, "you dare try to chyke a married woman!, my OWN wife for that matter!", I wanted to faint and kept holding my husband and telling him the guy just dey talk him own oo, he has freedom of expression. People gathered and blamed the guy, begging my husband( he was already making calls), since then,I knew my husband was a very jealous person when it comes to me, so tell me, how do I report this guy to my husband without killing somebody's son? And risking my husband going to jail? My husband trusts him so much and even sends him to me if he can't reach me on my cell phone sometimes. I am so confused.
NB:I have never cheated nor can ever cheat on my hubby(I am a Christian and worker I church),he is just 2yrs older than me, so i am not married to an old man. I also dress decently, do not expose body parts,but my curves are visible.
*Hmmmmm maybe you should tell your husband cos you need to stay away from this guy before he beings to build ideas that are dangerous in his head.It's either you tell your man or cut off that guy and tell him you dont want any contact again with the guy.....I dont know what else to say oh,unless you wanna be a sugar mummy..lol
Hello Stella, I am a consistent blog visitor and try to comment as anonymous whenever I can, I love all the segments especially comment relieve post and sat/sun laughs.
Reason for sending this email, I know bvs have bad mouth, enjoy but please I need more of advise Biko, this might be long just for better understanding.
I have been married for close to 10 years with 3 Lovely kids(boys). I'm in my late 30s but don't look it at all. My marriage has its usual ups and downs ,but we do get by...this email is not about that...
When we relocated to this new environment, I like to be friendly with my neighbors,because I believe anybody can be useful in one way or the other,I also like impacting people the little way I can.
There is this guy that stays with his parents,they are hardly around always travelling to their village from time to time so he is mostly alone,when I moved there and observed most of my neighbors speak highly of him,how he's a graduate still job hunting and also calm compared to other guys. He is very hard-working cleans, cooks,washes his mom and dad clothes,market runs etc. Hes very nice to my kids and respectful, he's well spoken and handsome too.we gist a lot, I sit inside my gate and he stands outside and gist,most times he tells me how he is frustrated about being jobless etc. I advice him and try to lighten his mood.
He has never entered my apartment before. I can call him at anytime and send him errands, my husband strolls with him in d evening sometimes and buy one or two bottles for him. We are good family friends.
Let me describe myself, I am petite with curves in the right places and very flat tummy,I don't look like a mom at all, i just noticed if other guys in the area greet me and smile, he feels uncomfortable, I overlooked it.
Then one day, he said he wanted us to talk, only for this guy to be stammering and telling me how he wants to have a sexual relationship with me! I was dumbfounded! Like what! I trust you with my kids, my money( never given him cash, he doesn't accept when I do) he withdraws from the ATM for me.My husband comes from work and sees us gisting he smiles and greets you even shakes hands with you,he's very comfortable with you around us.
You need to see this guy very innocent talks calmly, have babes shaking their bum after him but he doesn't look at them twice, his house is opposite mine so I see all that is going on, even his mom has teased him in my presence about not having a girl( he's in his late 20s). Not like he's never dated before,but they broke up and ever since then he's been alone. Other guys even uglier than him bring in different girls but he doesn't! And na me after 3, married woman! I told him I had been too free with him and know he's joking before I walked out on him. Normally, I should have insulted him which is what I do to my toasters,but he's the least person I expected to tell me such!.
Now I am scared because, in the early stage of my marriage, there was a time I stood across the road waiting for my husband, one guy walked up to me and was talking nonsense, I was even trying to say "Bros I be married woman oo, see my husband", didn't know my husband already saw the guy and flew across the road held on tightly to the guy's shirt tightening his neck area, repeatedly saying, "you dare try to chyke a married woman!, my OWN wife for that matter!", I wanted to faint and kept holding my husband and telling him the guy just dey talk him own oo, he has freedom of expression. People gathered and blamed the guy, begging my husband( he was already making calls), since then,I knew my husband was a very jealous person when it comes to me, so tell me, how do I report this guy to my husband without killing somebody's son? And risking my husband going to jail? My husband trusts him so much and even sends him to me if he can't reach me on my cell phone sometimes. I am so confused.
NB:I have never cheated nor can ever cheat on my hubby(I am a Christian and worker I church),he is just 2yrs older than me, so i am not married to an old man. I also dress decently, do not expose body parts,but my curves are visible.
*Hmmmmm maybe you should tell your husband cos you need to stay away from this guy before he beings to build ideas that are dangerous in his head.It's either you tell your man or cut off that guy and tell him you dont want any contact again with the guy.....I dont know what else to say oh,unless you wanna be a sugar mummy..lol
Hmmmm such guts from him. You have been too comfortable with him, i think you should stop all communication with him.
ReplyDeleteCouger alert!!!.. Hahahahaha..
DeletePls don't tell your hubby.. Just stay off that dude, hang out no more, gist no more etc.. Just stay off.. And quit smiling too damn much or being too friendly both at/to him and other male neighbors #TalkingFromXperience.
Poster the fact that u care about what ur husband might do to him is a flag u too should watch out for.
DeleteTell ur man u dont feel comfortable around him anymore and if he ask why tell him u dont like d way he looks at u sometimes. U feel his eyes allover u when ever hes around u n ure not comfortable at all. If ur husband is truly d jealous type he wont think twice keeping him away from u. Make no mistake if u dont tell ur man d truth or something close to the truth d boy might use it against u if he notices u are avoiding him.
If I were u I wont even wait 4 my husband to come home b4 I give him d gist of what just happened. But I'm not u abi?
Let me advice you from experience.. You must tell your husband now that it's still hot and also tell him any other toast you might receive from other men in the future.. That is what will save your marriage and your home..If you keep this as a secret.. Trust me it will back fire and boomerang on you.
DeleteIt's better he hears it.. Acts all the acting he can do now so you can put it behind you when the heat comes that your husband will be your enemy oo
You should have given him a hot slap first of all.
DeleteThen report Immediately to your hubby. When hubby ask you what your response was, you can boldly say I gave him a star studded slap. There he knows he has a woman who has his back.
BTW, hanty, u be aproko also. You have too much time on your hands and to be noticing everything in the neighborhood. Are you a vigilante ?
Poster, tell your hubby. The guy might want to cook up something against you
Deletetessy baby has said it all
DeleteLet me read comment
ReplyDeleteHe sprung up a surprise u lest expected, what if he starts gossiping he sleeps with u? Find a way and let ur husband know u r not comfortable ard him anymore
DeleteYou trust him so much to the extent of giving him your ATM card and ATM pin. You went too far Sha. My advise for you is not to tell your husband but find a way to chase him out ofof your home, that type of guy might use blackmail to get what he wants. ANY GUY THAT CAN TOAST A MARRIED WOMAN IS A NO NO FOR ME. @Blessed Princess
DeleteWhat if your husband asked him to test you? Tell your husband
DeletePoster, I think you've been flirting and crushing on this guy. Now that the emotions you stoked have ripened, you are afraid of what your jealous husband would do. The guy messed up but your own hands are not clean. Why would a married Christian flirt in the first place??? This attitude might destroy your home, if not now, maybe in the future.
DeletePlease tell your husband. That's the only way to put a permanent end to this. Trust me, your marriage will be stronger.
ReplyDeleteIf you dont tell your husband, the boy may see it as green light and intensify efforts.
Best of luck.
Not true. Don't tell your husband. You've told the boy no. Avoid him and move on. If the husband kills the boy, will you follow him to jail. You know his anger and he will even turn and blame the wife as if he didn't know they were friendly
DeleteHow will she follow him to jail?
DeleteMadam whilst following Stellas advice, watch over ur kids like hawk, minimise communication with him, run your own errands
ReplyDeleteStory upon story
ReplyDeleteLadybugsis
That guy is a dangerous, very very very dangerous criminal, a con artist. Please open your mouth and tell your husband now that you wish to terminate all forms of contact with this guy and state the reason. Cut him off completely, he is a snake. Don't pity him cos if he truly cared for you or had respect for he would not be making such suggestions. Situations like this have a way of going south so fast that your head will just be reeling, how did I get here?
ReplyDeleteRun run run...
Thank you Shakers. Poster don't listen to those telling you not to tell your husband and please give us update.
DeleteThank u o. Let her b there thinking of what d husband might to to him.
DeletePoster, please tell your husband if his life is precious to you. That guy is dangerous and can kill your hubby if you keep quiet.
DeleteExactly oh. Tell your husband you are no Longer comfortable with him around. That you are having a serious bad feelings about him. You may not tell him he made a pass on you YET. Just tell him you want your family to but him off completely
DeleteHe's a snake....He has no shame at all. Don't get trapped. He will soon move to blackmail.
As you said you are a Christian...pray about it before sharing with hubby. Let the Holy Spirit go ahead of you.
You will be surprised at the way your husband will react.
Act NOWWWWWW OH. The devil is fighting marriages.
Don't give him any chance with your own.
We will like update on this later
Madam why didn't you rebuke him right there, for not saying much you've slightly empowered him to plot more ways to do say and act foolishly. At this point tell your hubby to invite him over and repeat what he told you in his presence. Your hubby should try to should himself from beating him blue black. Such disrespect. After the convo and stern warning your family should completely cut him off. Imagine the nonsense. As he's jobless he's now looking for who to suck dry.
ReplyDeleteThis is why i don't get too close to people. You will be using your church mind to interact with them on a friendly level. Not knowing they are already having bad ideas.
ReplyDeleteThat boy is a stupid person of the highest order. Jobless without sense. Honestly, I don't know what his evil intentions are,because obviously, he doesn t have a job. Maybe he wants to be your toy boy. Tell your husband with proof because that idiot will surely deny it.
Madam, na you give this guy all the green light. Ya market don land and you come dey confuse?
ReplyDelete"he withdraws Atm for me, we gist all the time bla bla bla".
Married (Naija) girls no dey sabi boundaries. How you go marry come dey yarn with small (fork) boys to this level?
Make I yarn you wetin I sabi here. Even ya husband dey for danger lane o. That "innocent" boy fit poison ya husband or arrange for im to get beaten to death or tamper with im car connection and im go just quench. See as he don bold reach, im no go turn back.
Make you yarn ya husband say, you no too dey free with this guy again, make im keep im distance. But that one fit backfire too as im fit tell husband say na you first ask am for fork.
For now, make you keep away. change ya phone number or block im line. If una fit move away from that place better.
Stop talking to him and keep your distance from him,If you are so scared. You are the mature one here. So look at is as a teenager asking you out. Don't bother oga's head with such discussion since you know he would be jealous. You should have put him in the brother zone from beginning not even friend but younger brother zone were he will call you aunty or sis. Also,not to judge you but it seems you are the type of person who gives off that flirtish vibe even when you don't mean to.
ReplyDeleteYea,she sound so vain. Imagine telling us she has the right curves at the right places just because a small boy that should be calling Aunty is chyking her.
DeleteYou need to cut off interactions with the guy, and also TELL YOUR HUSBAND! The nerve though. Also cut him off from spending time with your kids before he does the unthinkable with them. Young girls will be looking for correct bobo, correct bobo will be there pining after somebody's wife and people's mother.
ReplyDeleteThis ya advice fit cause cyclone o.
DeleteYou no even think say the guy fit mod this madam husband?
So make she no tell am because im fit mod the madam husband? I'm not getting ANG
DeleteTell your husband that his reaction scares you but you need him to promise not to overreact this time, then tell him what the guy said and remind him his promise not to overreact.
ReplyDeleteIf you don’t tell him and he continues to send this guy to you, if anything happens that is when he will even be more pained and will overreact more.
Guys are like that sha, I almost killed one that I was helping that came to my house and scared me with his love story, I had to luck the door and this guy stood outside screaming I love you.
When I though he had gone I came outside to drive out and he rush to my car holding on to the side, I moved and the car ran over him and broke his leg, he had to wear bandage and use clutch for a while...I hate guys like that
This ya tori get k-leg
DeleteYou no tell us how guyman got so close, so bold?
So you break guy leg cos he wanted to borrow fork from ya house?
Tell us the full gist (say he no wan do again and you come mad so?)
Ah! Ahh! But that was too much na. What if you had killed him? Learn to control your temper next time please. I'm not in support of what he did, but haba, you overreacted by wanting to crush him to death. Because you can't tell me you dint do it intentionally.
DeleteRunning over him wasn’t intentional o, I was so scared from his forceful behavior, someone I thought was calm and good. You won’t undetabd sha, someone was banging on my door and blocking my car, breaking his leg was a mistake sha cos I was too tensed and thought I made a clean turn only to hear him scream that I’d run over his leg.
DeleteI thank God he didn’t rape me that day sha cos the guy wan break door.
And no I didn’t encourage him, I only tried helping him with job because he seemed so smart and nice, I was engaged then to my husband and he knows, even while he was banging my door, my fiancé called and was shocked at the behavior, he was the one that suggested I leave the house when it subsided not knowing the guy was hiding outside
You will tell your husband but not now and also not direct. Tell him with body language. Cut off from the guy realign your brain not to think about him in doing chores for you. With time your husband will start noticing it. When he ask just tell him you are no longer comfortable with him that you suspect he is taking the relationship differently that you mind tells you that before he does something funny. This will register in your hubby head and to pounder about, tell him ur fears later on.
ReplyDeleteGive us update how you handle it. I don’t see how you would cut him off without your husband raising an eyebrow.
ReplyDeleteYou don't even need to report him to your husband to avoid had I know, just cut him off by yourself, for your self .honestly too much familiarity is bad at times.
ReplyDeletePoster madam, person that you will give sounding slap with your both hands....give him the warning of life
ReplyDeleteNonsense and ingredient! It is see finish that is causing this one
Poster, I think you should tell your husband so he knows his intention. You have trusted this guy too much and he knows everything about your family the earlier you cut him off from your family the better so that he doesn't hurt you or your family. If your husband should warn him he will be scared and run away from you. But you need to be very careful going forward and watch your back always.
ReplyDeleteRemember the heart of man is desperately wicked because quiet people can be very dangerous.
It’s almost as if Nigerian women were raised to fear and worship men. If it was a younger woman you didn’t like you would know how to quickly put her in her place and cut her off. Let your husband know obviously, because if this guy sets you up or starts spreading rumours out of desperation, it’ll be hard to believe you were innocent. Almost like you’re enjoying the attention and you’re looking for who to tell. You seem like the kind of babe who likes to boast about getting attention because this is barely a chronicle. No offence
ReplyDeleteI swear anonymous 15:26 you no lie.
DeleteI think so as well. The average Nigerian woman will fight a million side chics and never her husband who broke his vows. She will fight a thousand female househelps and never the male driver or gateman. She will easily forgive her cheating and abusive sons-in-law and never forgive a daughter in law who does same. She will make excuses for a thieving Pastor, the abusive hubby, a rapist Uncle etc. She will cut off her own friends cos she got married, she will fight her friends over the attention of men and so on. She will as a senior student severely punish and be unnecessarily wicked to the junior students. For no reason at all. Yes they were raised to fear and respect men, any man, as long as it's a man. Cos I don't get why poster is so scared of her hubby's expected reaction, too scared to tell this dangerous guy off. Wait until he harms your kids onkay...
DeleteThe guy wanna try his prowess,he wanna experiment n brag, since that idea is in his head, it better be nipped, clipped n squashed before he harms u for turning him down, cos he can go crazy with desire n flip then blame d devil.
ReplyDeleteCut off from this guy and keep your kids far away from him too before he gets jealous and hurt them.
ReplyDeleteCut off totally from him. You can even tell your husband cause he'll ask when he notices your behavior towards this guy but dobit in such a way that your hubby will not harm him.
Madam tell u husband. Before the guy will blackmail u
ReplyDeleteYou are to blame really.You got to comfy with him.one can never be too careful when it comes to the opposite sex.You have to cut ties with him.Dont kin how your husband will handle it though but if you don't tell him he will wonder why you stopped talking to the guy
ReplyDeleteStop every form of communication with him. Imagine the guts
ReplyDeleteMadam, 1. codedly test the guy see how he performs 2. It may be your husband that is setting u up with the guy so report him to your husband 3. Call the guy in front of your husband and tell him to repeat what he told you. 4. Even if you avoid the guy your husband will not and the guy will know that you didn't have the guts to tell your husband, so report him fast 5. Keep your mouth shut and pretend it didn't happen except u are liking the guy too. 6.Take a glass of water and do that thing that's in your mind.
ReplyDeleteI think she has to tell her husband because the husband also sends him on errands and takes him out, buying drinks for him. So the husband is also in danger. Poster keep away from him completely and keep your kids away too as others suggested. Tell your husband in a way that will not warrant him being violent. Don't give the devil space to manifest in your home.
DeleteBut why are you telling us you have your curves in the right places? You better stay away from that idiot before his foolishness destroy your home.
ReplyDeleteIf your husband ask you just tell him you no longer want to be close to an opposite sex
@FAN
DeleteSo the only thing we vex you hot for this yarn na "curves in right places?"
Abeg let (21st century) Naija babes yarn them yarns.
Ndi ono na di acho di.
Lol.
Deletewhat is wrong with a woman loving herself, her curves ?
DeleteHer husband might know he has a sexy wife but do you know the last time her husband made her feel sexy and beautiful
I don't know if the poster did, but in such situation as the poster described, she might have innocently flirted with young man, she might have unknowingly been seeking attention that she might not be getting from her husband from this male who is in his prime and has time to talk with her.
She might be bored at home and unconciously flirted with him just and only to boost her self esteem
Of course she is feeling herself that this younger respectable,hardworking, calm , handsome man likes her. This might be the reason she didnt give a strong reaction at the time.
Tell me, which house wife after 3 children, older maybe bored woman won't be flattered?
But, that she is flattered and knows what she looks like doesnt mean she is unfogiveably vain or that she would even consider his offer
The young guy might not even be attracted to her" curves" he might be attracted to her personality, to the idea of " an older experienced woman"
what the guy feels for her is his business .
and how she reacts to it too is her decision.
Poster, the above are just suppositions, not you.
Follow the advise about letting ur husband know.
Also, search your mind about your feelings for this man( if there are any) and ask yourself why you might have feelings for him.
Infidelity sometimes is out of boredom and a feeling of being unapprecited.
were you tempted?
Did you reject the idea just because your husband is a very jealous man or
Because you know that is not what Jesus wants.
Being tempted is judged by how we react to the temptation.
ps: abeg, love your curves and find a way your husband will appreciate them more
<TL
Men are generally like that, once you become comfortable with them, they begin to build ideas in their heads, they are that shallow. Small smile they feel you tripping for them. Tell your husband and cut the guy off. Have you seen the movie 'boy next door' or something, jenifer Lopez. Be very careful with that dude. Even if he apologies stay away, the feelings came as result of the attention and care you showed him men are like that, stay away before you start catching feelings and comparing him to your hubby. The devil is very tricky.
ReplyDeleteWhich one is men is like that.????some comments at times
DeletePoster, you need to see that film... The boy next door.
DeleteThose kind of people can be very very dangerous.
This your story doesn't sound complete
ReplyDeleteWhat complete story do u want.just say u can't comprehend
DeleteYes. Poster is a flirt, probably promiscuous too.
Delete21st century Nigerian wife must interact with every handsome young man on her street.
ReplyDeletePoster please tell your husband because if he notices the distance between you and the guy, he will become suspicious and start asking questions. If you refuse go talk, he might ask the guy and the small boy will lie and put ideas in his head to cover up his deeds. If he comes back to ask you and you tell him the truth later, he might not believe you. Tell him now and caution him not to be violent even if he wants to warn him so it doesn't become a police case.
ReplyDeleteI think u were too comfortable with him and he saw it as green light. Maybe in his mind, u wanted the same thing. My advice is, tell ur husband about it. Don't keep it to yourself please. Guys don't give up easily o.
ReplyDeleteToo much familiarity breeds insult. Madam if you are scared to tell your husband because of his temper, stylishly tell him you're beginning to notice the weird way the boy looks at you and you are not comfortable with it. Your husband will ponder over it and begin to cut off from him.
ReplyDeletePlease not telling your husband is a bad idea. Tell your husband, let yours and your husband's interaction with him reduce and keep your kids away from him.
ReplyDeleteI have been married for over 20 when I was already in my 30's and guys (not small boys still crush on me because I look a lot younger. From my experience I may be wrong, I learnt not to tell my husband about every episode because I know his reaction. I have also learnt to set my boundaries when I realize things are getting out of bounds. I have tried to have a tough demeanor but it never worked (I have always een the funky nice auntie to kids) Cut him off by not gisting with him at the gate. Limit your kids closeness to him. Answer him when he greets or talks to you like you would talk to much younger person one. No familiarity If he is a Yoruba person, he will get the message with the language you use or your new outlook. If your husbands asks just tell him you don't feel comfortable the ways he jokes or interacts with you. if your husbands trusts you knows you well, he will read between the lines. The boy might mean no harm but has a huge crush you which was fostered by little boundary set unintentionally by you.I tried to shoot his shot Put him his place
ReplyDeleteWhich one is if he is a yourouba person he will understand???does mentality have to do with tribe?
DeleteTenth you need not overreact. I am a Yoruba person. What I am saying is that by the you use speak as if you are talking to a small boy, he will catch the vibe. You know there is a way to disrespect in my language without abusing the person..E.g bawo aburo etc. It is not a tribal comment
DeleteAnon 17:05 are you forgetting that she said her husband goes strolling with the guy? Even buys drinks, abi socialising? Do you realise how easy it is for this boy to kill her husband?
DeleteThanks for your advices,read them all to those of you that feels I am vain by saying I have curves in the right places, reason is that I am a writer and I wanted you guys to get the picture that maybe that's probably why the idiot guy is lusting after me,that it's just a purely physical thing and not love like he claimed,since that day I gave him the cold shoulder and he has kept his distance,he tried apologising once but I didn't give him audience.i am yet to tell hubby tho..
ReplyDeleteGood thing you did. You already put him in his place. He will watch his steps. Like he I said, 'he shot his shot' but failed miserably
DeleteDON'T TELL YOUR HUSBAND, you already know his character. I personally will not tell my husband (cos he is similar to that too) but I will shut that boy out totally. I will just answer him formally if he greets me thats all. When hubby asks me why I would just say I think he is beginning to take me for granted so I no longer want to be too familiar to avoid 'see finish syndrome'.
DeleteYou still need to tell your husband. He too needs to be careful around the guy. The devil is wicked and can use things like this to cause havoc.
DeleteHoney he is lusting after you cos you are a woman, period. The lust will be gone once he sleeps with you and have his fill. He will lust after anything, shape or no shape. Are you a kid? Men that rape from 6 months old baby to 90yr old women. He probably made you feel special by hiding his other escapades perfectly. DO NOT assume you know anyone, you can only trust yourself. Some have weird fantasies, they don't go after normal single ladies, they want married, children, old women etc. Who knows if he is a yahoo boy that was asked to sleep with a married woman. Seems you have a soft spot for him or some attachment. CUT HIM OFF, it is not your job to understand why sef. Cut him and face your life!
DeleteAnon 17:06 whether you're curvaceous, lepa or obese is irrelevant. You are married. And it's not like he doesn't know. You're considering the boy who's disrespecting you, your husband and your marriage. A boy your husband buys stuff for, sees nothing wrong with asking to f*ck you! It's bad enough that he thought about it, but to actually voice it? Until he tries to kill your husband and lies against you, your eyes won't clear. I'm a married woman whose husband gets enraged when anyone starts sniffing around me unnecessarily and I ALWAYS tell him. Yes, cos apart from the fact that I don't want any obsessed idiot to set me up and scatter my marriage, I'm not going to make my husband look like a fool by putting him in a position where he trusts people he shouldn't trust. Certain aspects of my work also require me to work with more men than women, and sometimes I have to travel - meaning that sleeping in hotels is a reality. But my husband doesn't panic cos I make it clear from the onset that I'm not jeopardising my marriage or betraying my husband's trust cos of any job. Even when others aren't allowed to have visitors (cos of security issues), I tell them that if my husband isn't allowed to come and see me whenever, they can carry their work and be going. That is work that I eat and get professional fulfillment from, yet you're playing with the viper in your personal life. As long as you know you didn't lead that boy on, I don't understand why you haven't told your husband.
DeleteYou don't need to tell your husband right away, just stay away from him and cut all form of communication.
ReplyDeleteYou can call him, sit him down, let him know you see him like your younger brother.
Na wah o, you don't need to bug your husband with all that, unless you want to be telling him story everytime a man call you on the street.
Tell him him like your family.
And all my friends are mostly married women o and I have never cross my boundaries...the guy fuck up jare
ReplyDeleteIf you cut all communication from the guy without explaining things to your husband that will not go well with your husband, your husband need to understand what happened so that him too can cut all communication from that guy. You guys gave the guy too much freedom that was why. Him no dey fear face na married woman him want browse.
ReplyDeleteTell ur husband or regret it!
ReplyDeleteTell ur hubby that can u imagine the guts ooo chai stupid boys everywhere
ReplyDeleteNa so I go write professional exam. As usual collected few peoples no for contact sakes. Guess who the first person that contacted me was? A guy! At first, I thot he was harmless until I noticed his very irritating and no-reason-for-questions like, have u eaten? Have u finished eaten? I’m like! WTH!!! I blocked the fool (instantly) without warning and deleted his number. This boys are usually very very very stupid! Don’t even drag it with them, it doesn’t end well. Plus y do u need the drama? (Ul know I’m married with kids even if I don’t tell u, cos apart from my wedding ring, I’m not ur slim, flat tummy ish, however I’m very good looking.. lol) women pls be wise. Too many idiots out there, looking for homes to break.
ReplyDeleteYou better tell your hubby but make sure there's someone he respects and listens to is around so they can calm him incase he wants to beat up the guy.
ReplyDeleteGuys like that the calm, quite ones are more dangerous cos they have this tendency of getting obsessed. So for your sake and that of your family tell your husband.
Well I am Temi. Poster go real cold on the guy. Block every access, don't even smile at him. When hubby asks, tell him the guy is disrespectful and you want him to realise you are a married woman. Poster you sure say you no like the boy small? Nor vex I just dey play.
DeleteAfter 3 kids u should know ur hubby soft spot.plsssssssssssss DO NOT KEEP THIS.U DONT KNOW IF IT A TEST FROM UR HUBBY!U DONT KNOW WHAT IS BEHIND THE GUYS HEAD!HE CAN KILL UR HUBBY IF UR HUBBY DOES Not KNOW.PROTECT UR FAMILY.U DONT KNOW THE GUYS PAST.IT IS BETTER U PROTECT UR HUBBY EVEN IF LAS LAS HE OVER REACT.HE IS UR HUBBY!THAT GUY WILL COME AND GO.BUT UR HUBBY NA FOREVER.SO MUCH GUTS!!my hubby has been in that situation.the girl was really on his case.even show am nakedness.when I gave birth and went to my mom place he told me how she was coming with short things.i don't know where I got d maturity from.but I started ignoring her greetings since he begged me not to confront her.i was Sha given her attitude but never confronted her.we stayed four years there before relocating finally.i stopped dropping my kids at her place.thats how I trained my kids to stay alone if i go out
ReplyDeletePoster see how Tenth is shouting because of you. Better take heed.
DeleteSome men have weird fantasies, what turns them on might be the secrecy of having an affair, a married woman, a child, a fellow guy, orgies etc. But it is not your job to understand weird people. Once you come across one, cut them off. He may be a yahoo guy that was told to only sleep with married women. Of course he had to gain everybody's trust first. Then next is to make you feel special, then next is to strike....be careful dear.
ReplyDeleteYou are right my dear. Poster make sure you also read Tobie's first write up very well.
DeleteNa wah o, everything na yahoo yahoo, and ritual.. I wonder how you guys reason in the real world scenario.
DeleteThat's how u see some married women playing with younger boys anyhow in their hubby absence...seen so many.i can never stoop so low come .start falling on a guys body in d name of jokes.even as a single
ReplyDeleteAm beautiful and I know it and even after 3 children I still get advances, my children alert me when people are staring. Even at a young age I would have people stop to give me gift.... I used to tell my husband about my advances until one day he told me to try and stand up for myself and speak out.... well, to avoid things like this I have learnt to keep to myself, why would. I be gisting with a boy? Even women I stay off because I have had issues with their husband and I love my peace...I love my family too and am grateful my husband found me on time.... bottom line you should learn to stand up for yourself, sometimes not because you don’t want your husband to react but because you don’t want to create fear or jealously you have to deal with the advances yourself, and to deal with them, you might need to cut off from silly chats with men and mind your business. Buy your stuff yourself. Yes I am a snob and yes I have few friends, and that is because that is what I had to do to curb the advances....
ReplyDeleteWhat is you people's business with how the man will react?? He deserves any harsh reaction! Somebody's wife??! Young guys are just becoming imbeciles God save us!
ReplyDeleteLet his head be broken, so that he can desist from such demonic impudence.
madam tell your husband to avoid scandal and black mail
ReplyDeleteThis just reminded me of that movie 'obsessed' it all starts gradually but will never end well. Tell your husband now and face ya front
ReplyDeleteI am a lady too oo. Everyone is blaming the boy. For a second have you people asked this lady how she dresses in the neighborhood? She described her body to you all. Are you people now going to fault the young man for being a man? What he did is wrong but this woman right here is what we call Jezebel in the church.Go and check how this woman presents herself in public and you will be shocked at how many men both young and old has committed fornication/ Adultery with her. She cannot keep sending wrong signals across and expect him not to react!!! Pls ladies dont be quick to speak always weigh stories from both sides.
ReplyDeleteShe described her body and so what. She may dress in a way that is not befitting of a married woman and so what? You strike me as the kind of person that would be quick to shame a victim of rape due to her dressing. Drop you advice and move on abeg. What signals did she send to the man in question. So it is a sin to be overly friendly with no hidden agenda. I fear people like you who are quick to judge and quick to misinterpret peoples friendly gestures for something else.
DeleteAnon 22:34 you're a WICKED soul. No, I'm not the original poster.
DeleteMadam Jezebel identifier, maybe as her husband strolls will him and buys drinks sometimes, maybe the husband is also giving signals? Olodo. The woman in question said her husband is the kind that has no issues with beating up anyone that toasts her even on the road. What makes you think he would be okay with her dressing inappropriately even in the neighbourhood? It's like a man dumped you for a curvaceous woman, so this chronicle is triggering your demons.
Poster don't be deceived or fooled by this guy's niceness and all... TELL YOUR Husband IMMEDIATELY. For him to have the guts to ask you out then he is dangerous trust me... And you were too close to him,how can you be sending him on an errand even to the point of him knowing your atm pin.
ReplyDeleteNever EVER keep this sort of thing a secret from your husband. It will come back to bite you. Tell your husband NOW!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNawa ohhh. this us serious
ReplyDeleteYou even tried by speaking out. My wife nko after 17 years of marriage and several kids that was fucking a young boy at work nko? Well I had to forgive and keep it silent to protect my marriage and save the embarrassment to my kids, my family and hers. I am no Saint so I had to keep it quite hoping for the better. But altimately the trust can never be there again. No matter what a man does his wife should be his last backup, his altimate trust with all his secretes both financially and others. Once that backup is broken? It can never be fixed.
ReplyDeleteYour head is not correct. Last backup ko!!
DeleteAnon 01:19 You merely reaped what you sowed. See how you're describing what your wife did - "after 17 years of marriage and several kids that was f*cking a young boy at work". Versus the light way you described your own - "I'm not a saint". No matter what a man does...
DeleteI don't pity you at all. You are feeling outraged and disrespected when you are a very disrespectful excuse for a man who uses human beings that God created, as backup plans. When you made your vows, was it only your wife that promised to be faithful? No. But you wanted to eat your cake, have it, then leave some in the fridge. Now, you're whining about not trusting your wife. I laugh. Hold your trust tight cos do you really believe that your wife trusts you? After breaking the trust of the wife of your youth, you're now crying that you don't trust her. Oh so you know that the result of infidelity is embarrassment?
Better go and repent. Cos YOU are the one that broke the hedge that brought in the snake that's still biting you and giving you the alomo bitters you're manifesting, even though you claim you've forgiven. Swallow your rubbish pride, ask God to forgive you, ask your wife to forgive you, then start mending your marriage from there.
Madam I think you have a part to play in that mans misdeeds, you sent the wrong signals and he picked on it. Your closeness and relationship with him gave him the message you were interested cos you took that friendship too far. Please do not attack the poster who called you vain cos you are not the first young mother with curves, let me be straight you were flirting with the young man. Now if you are one who follows trends please tell your husband cos by not telling him, his life might be in danger around that young man. Watch investigation discoveries and CI on DSTV and you would have learnt that your best bet is telling your husband whether he will be upset or not so he can be on guard.
ReplyDeleteI need to ghetto on this, you are very unreasonable for this reply, didn't you read the part where I said I dress decently? I am very close to his parents! How will I treat their child differently? This is not the first or the 100th guy I have mentored,he choose to be foolish,those other ones repect me as a married woman,even those ones that live a wild life..for saying I have committed adultery ,you will be accused wrongly too in Jesus name.
ReplyDelete#POSTER
Madam, tell your husband. Make him promise not to kill anyone before you tell him. If he wants to lock up your neighbour's son, that is his prerogative. Cos this slope you're treading is dangerous - before the young man RAPES you & your husband won't believe you cos you didn't talk before. Please, don't think "he's not the type that will rape" because a) before he misyarned, you would have sworn he couldn't conceive such a thought in his mind, and b) your husband is unknowingly creating an opportunity by sending you on errands to him. Allow your husband deal with him how it's doing him; he should just not kill anyone. But as it is, you're actually endangering your husband's life by not telling him - any man who knowingly asks a married woman out, does NOT wish her husband well.
ReplyDeleteMadam has a huge blame here. You are curvaceous bla bla bla You are a married woman... Simple! Behave like one. Minimize your chats and play with boys and men who aren't your husband or family members.
ReplyDeleteThis is the foundation. Once you get this, your opposite sex problems will solve itself.
Poster never mind a few BVs here insinuating all sorts of crazy things about you, na their way. They are all entitled to give their unique opinions but its crazy how you send chronicles and they will reason upside down, add crayfish, pepper, onions to a straightforward story. We've all experienced it so calm down and just ignore their senseless comments. Most BVs here advise well so focus on those sensible ones. I can see that most BVs are saying to tell your hubby. I agree but only after you have cut off all interaction with him and he still continues. After the first warning, if he attempts it again, then tell hubby surely. I get BVs who are saying hubby will be suspicious of the sudden change of attitude from you towards him and also the need to protect hubby. I think in order to maintain peace and avoid unnecessary suspicions and confrontations especially as you all still live in the same compound, let hubby know the reason you are avoiding him is so as to restore respect that is very much needed. You won't be causing unnecessary panic and jealousy and you'll also not be lying. But if you feel you must tell hubby right away, please go ahead. I'm only giving this advice coz of the way you described hubby as a very aggressive fighter. All the people quoting movies forgot to quote the movie 'The Perfect Guy'. Some people express rage in a detrimental way that could cause more problems than necessary. I know you get what I mean. In the meantime, treat that guy like he's dead to you. Don't give him an inch at all to take a mile. Cheers
ReplyDelete