* Lady I understand your pain but you had no right calling him out now cos it is not your war......Na the wife send you message?No!!!!
This was wrong but i hope you find closure from your pains.....
I am beginning to think stories of depression and suicide is actually helping it go viral and encouraging more people to commit suicide......
Chai!
ReplyDeleteI think what the DJ did is what yoruba people call Edi,who kills himself because a wife decide to leave the marriage.Except there is some other issue he is dealing with.In all i pity the poor woman,she wont forgive herself.
DeleteIt’s good she spoke o, people where already blaming the wife forgetting some men can be so manipulating, well if that’s why he took his life (so they can blame her) na him loss be that
DeleteInfact, Very good @Push up. I applaud her for speaking up biko.
DeleteStella I disagree with you. She is speaking her truth, and everyone should be allowed that if they so wish. The fact that she may not know the wife makes her story more credible to me. However I still can't judge the DJ since I can't say exactly what happened. Still I feel it is evident the man really needed professional help.
DeleteI dated a guy who was manipulative like this. He would curse me,call me names like bitch,fuck you,fuck off all sorts of things. He will block my number at any slightest arguement and it was even a long distance relationship. If we were staying close I'm sure it would have graduated to beatings. This girls story hit a nerve. He would even manipulative me to send him money when he lost his job for all his bad behaviour. If I don't send he will call me heartless,stingy and all sorts.
DeleteWhen I want to leave he will start crying. Change for two weeks and he starts again.
When I finally left he was also threatening suicide. Told him he can go ahead.
You all can't know how free I am right now. I have had peace of mind since I left him. Met someone who shows me what loving someone should feel like.
Pls this lady is not only saving girls in such relationship she is also saving the DJs wife from being dragged further.
People blaming the wife are a bunch of insects. If he was truly abusive and she stayed and died, they'd be singing a different song.
DeleteThis year, to each his own.
It was his decision to end his life.
SDK Pls good the lady came out to talk, do you know d blames n fingers on the wife now
DeleteIt's a good thing she spoke up before his family and friends begin to gang up on the poor wife. The guy had serious issues abeg.
DeleteHas anyone ever thought of this guy been murdered ? The story of domestic violence after his death could be a load shit of propaganda to digress investigation . Why the hurried burial ? His wife could be cheating on him with a powerful person and they might desire to do the needful...get him out . #twosidetoastory #iyawoelewurè #Osupasaïd
DeleteWell I can't say is too late for her to have Spoken-up, She could have called the DJ out when he was alive Atlist he's popular.. Abeg...All this Manipulative Men self.. rest on ooo..
DeleteWhy did she have to wait till he was dead to speak up? Obviously now we don't know who is saying the truth or not
DeleteI'm extremely glad she spoke out. She not only saved the wife but gave us an insight on what she might have been dealing with. I'm glad both women left and we aren't burying either one of them
Deleteright from the days of gardeen of eden,woman has been mans downfall.The earlier men try to act like men..the better.do not let any woman trouble you jharee.if you wana date,date.if you tired move on,you need a fling,go get it.make the life simple.invest only on your children and happiness.treat your wife well too but not with your all.i dhey vex for this story.
ReplyDeleteUncle.. U just mix everything😂😂😂😂
DeleteNo worry ehn, you will find a woman that loves you real good
Another advise uncle, why don’t you live your life without a woman. Must you live your live with a woman in it? Will you die without a womaniser your life? Perhaps you too will commit suicide without a woman in your life. A man who reasons like you is better off living life by himself because people like you can never be happy with ANY woman because you’re a sadist.
DeleteWhat is this one saying?
DeleteThis one left his brain at Eden too, among other things.
DeleteThis one is talking from his anus! Rubbish
DeleteIphie 😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteSafe to say bro was a psychopath.
ReplyDeleteGbam!!
DeleteIn fact I admire the lady for speaking up, never blame anyone for someone's suicide!😎😎😎😎
DeleteHonestly, I admire the lady for speaking because I was already feeling sorry for the bashing the wife would receive.
DeleteThis man was mentally unstable, they abuse their victims, manipulate them and threaten sucide. The wife should have gotten him help,all he needed was counseling and antidepressants.
Deletewhy committing suicide?this suicide of a thing is devilish and something urgent should be done to curtail this menace to our society.
ReplyDeleteIt has always existed, but before it was kept on the down low. Social media and the fact that people are more open today makes it appear that it is a new trend. Even in history entire cultures in the world practiced it. Even where it was frowned upon it still existed.
DeleteStella she is saying this, because of the way people are saying his wife caused his suicidal action. because she left his house
ReplyDeleteThank you. Even I was beginning to judge the poor lady that probably saved her life by leaving.
DeleteI dont think thia was a call out. But she couldnt keep quiet with the accusations going to the wife's hand in his death.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you
DeleteI frankly didn't comment at first because... Let the dead rest mantra.
ReplyDeleteThe attacks his wife has received since his death is crazy!
Was the wife expected to stay put in a marriage that she didnt want to be in anymore? Is she the holder of life? What if it was affecting her own mental health too?
Concerning this call out, this lady had plenty years to write her truth and make him accountable while he was alive, it is pointless at this time.
See someone like Rkelly now, the day he decides to take his life.... People will turn around and blame his victims for daring to speak up. I can’t wait to watch the documentary. I want to hear and see the things he did for myself.
Hmmmm Iphie this lady did the right thing o. If she came out before his death. You know what ppl will say, that she's a scorned ex that wants to dent his image and his marriage because he dumped her to marry someone else. Especially if she's still single.
DeleteIt's good she came out now abeg. The wife shld even thank God for her life. This could have been a murder/suicide.
I don't think it's pointless some people now have a rethink of probably why the wife left him was because of the abuse she suffered, the abuse on the wife was damn too much😎😎😎😎😎
DeleteBed and Rose, you have sense. Exactly what world people will say.
DeleteThe woman would have come out since and still said this rather than when the guy is now dead, who do we believe now?? This case is much deeper than we think, if he didn't kill himself in his past relationships why would he do it now?
DeleteHis wife left with the kids and he obviously couldn't handle it. Mayb no family wss willing to even follow him to go and beg and he felt he had lost it all.
DeleteHe's dead now, so what is she on about
ReplyDeleteIs this the right time for this?
ReplyDeleteYes, this is the right time! Nobody should blame the wife, na she be wear the shoe.
DeleteA lot of people are mentally sick in this country but we live in a place you have to start running mad on the street before they know something is not right.
ReplyDeleteAs a lot of people are coming out as depressed can a lot more counsellors and ready to dial numbers be made available.The matter Don dey pass be careful.
Even most of the counsellors are mentally unstable. So na who go help who???
DeleteStella I disagree with you please. If that's how she wants to support another woman and heal as well, let her shout for all I care. Let's stop this hypocrisy of "painting the dead white" meanwhile they were monsters when they were alive. People need to know that; the evil they do will live after them and might be a shame to their loved ones even when they are gone and learn to live right when they have life.
ReplyDeleteGbamm!!!!!
DeleteGod bless you for this comment
DeleteAyaba
God bless you!!!
Delete1000 likes.
👌👌👌
DeleteGbammest! You spoke my exact mind on not painting the dead white biko. Hypocrisy everwhere.
DeleteGbam!!!! You make sense die. So because someone is dead that means he/she was a good person, tah!!! Forget that thing
Delete👏
DeleteDon't mind Stella the wife is a step sister that has been in an extremely abusive relationship with him. Wife beaters if you know them are extremely manipulative. The sucide was meant to be his last act of blackmail to the wife knowing she has left him for good and out of His reach
DeleteFor you saying horrible things about Bolanle, I say May God forgive you for it cos you sure need it.
Stella the exterior was right in saying it to let people know that Bolanle was and still is the victim here
SHALOM
God bless you anonymous. you are highly lifted, I love this girl so much. women should support their fellow women.
Delete👏👏👏👏
DeleteStella, I do not think her intention was to call him out. Whenever someone commits suicide and probably leaves a note, it is easier for people to judge and condemn those that had immediate dealings with him. If a man commits suicide, the wife is blamed, a woman commits suicide, the husband is blamed and the circle goes on...She just wanted to point out that the guy had his demons to deal with and should also be blamed and not heaping all the blame on his wife for being the cause of his emotional struggles.
ReplyDeleteGbam!
DeleteIt may be wrong timing. But I think she's actually giving people an insight about this guys state of mind. The guy probably has a mental illness. That whole cycle of beat,beg,wail and threaten suicide so the girl doesn't leave is a form of control. They will keep repeating this cycle over and over till you can break free from them.
ReplyDeleteNow we are getting a clearer picture of the reasons the wife may have left.
True
DeleteMy dear, there's no better time than now, that its hot. If she comes up with this when the dust has settled, she will incure more wrath.
DeleteIf you ever had the slight thought of killing yourself pls pls go and seek help from a professional health worker in the area mental health ,don't go to church pls just go to the hospital.,there is no shame.I worked during the holiday here and we had close to 7 to 10 admission a day for people with mental breakdown after having evaluation done on them.
ReplyDeleteYou see ehn, some people are sociopath.
ReplyDeleteI think she did this for the wife....the wife might not be in the know.But you know some people have started blaming the wife.
ReplyDeleteStella I disagree with your analysis of her write-up. She did the right thing; provided some insight/perspective as to what kind of person he is. A leopard cannot change his spots. Let the dead RIP.
ReplyDeleteNa wa!
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, though this is coming at a bad time, it is timely because it might save the wife from being held responsible for his death. People have started dragging her name on the Internet and people were saying alot of trash about her physical appearance wondering why the DJ would take his life for her sake. As if being plumply and dark is a crime. It's only God that knows what goes on in most marriages behind closed doors.
ReplyDeleteI don’t blame her for talking. She might even be feeling guilty she didn’t say it earlier. We say women don’t support their own, she just did with proof, we should commend her for it, but like the guy said, he’s only human too, so we can’t blame him as he is gone, and we MUST NOT blame his wife either as some people are calling her names and saying so he died for ordinary woman etc
ReplyDeleteStella please this is not a call out, i believe she only did it because people were blaming the poor wife without knowing the kind of person the so called Dj was, so lets all take a chill pill and leave alone, rest in peace to the dead... am sure he must have been threatening the poor woman with committing suicide that she grew a thick skin and left without looking back.
ReplyDeleteMay God heal them all,I guess she's speaking out now cause she has also realised he can't hurt her anymore because he is dead and buried
ReplyDeleteShe is still hurt from the past....some men are something else...they beat and cheat on you expecting you to keep quiet nd take all the shit...i dont know how i feel about this revelation...God heal evryone hurting from their fellow men
ReplyDeleteI applaud her for coming out so that the people blaming the wife will finally let her rest.only God knows what the poor wife went through before she finally packed out. Issue of blaming the other spouse for their known actions should stop.
ReplyDeleteShe did the right thing. I was already thinking his wife frustrated him
ReplyDeleteEven if the wife frustrated him, was she the one that killed him or he chose to kill himself out of all the options available to him in the mans world that he lived in .
DeleteSometimes I'm baffled at your response, Stella. The wife didn't ask her to do this but has it occurred to you that the bashing she's getting could also push her into depression or worse? This voice needed to be heard not really for the world but as a support system for the wife.
ReplyDeleteTo those who are in abusive relationships, please take a walk. Don't listen to the "I'll change" mantra. This is directed at both sexes please. You're worth more than being a punching bag. Ignore what society will say cos whether you stay or leave, there'll still be negative talk. Choose life today
I’m glad she wrote this, especially for the idiots blaming the wife.
ReplyDeleteMaybe wrong timing, but in my opinion, she did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteIt's better now that she spoke up so that people that are blaming his wife will know that he was not a saint afterall, only God knows what she saw in the marriage that made her leave.
ReplyDeleteMs ex-girlfriend - I hv a few questions for u. 1. Y did u not come out with this information while u were still at the university or better still after your uni years or before he became a celebrity? Y after his death knowing fully well he is now unable to defend himself? Have we really asked ourselves the role of the wife in the suicide? There are always two sides to a coin.
ReplyDeleteOh please shut it! Didn't U read the part where she said he threatened her? She was probably scared for her life. Meanwhile there re witnesses that can confirm the story as she said he usually brought friends & family to beg. The role the wife played was leaving & no! His life didn't depend on her, shame may have overwhelmed him...
DeletePlease shut up!! As if we all don’t know the kind of response she would have received if she had spoken out while he was alive. It is people like you that would have insulted the daylight out of her and call her a jealous scorned ex. He also would have started threatening her life. I’m so sick of people like you asking that dumb question “why didn’t you speak up before now” yen yen yen.
Deleteand he would have killed the wife and himself. remember something like that happened in onitsha last yr. the guy killed his children,house help and himself.
DeleteStella I beg free the girl. I love that she spoke up. People are blaming the wife and acting like he was a saint. I beg lady thanks for speaking up. Save the wife some flak. Once someone dies he’s hailed as a saint.
ReplyDeleteIt is very good and important the lady speak out!
ReplyDeleteI saw the comments online, insulting his widow.
When I say its selfish, weak and self-centred people that mostly commit suicide, those who claimed to be Woked will start attacking me.
Please, you people should stop abusing depression.
People who can't take a NO for answer are mostly people that commits suicide.
I stand with this girl.
Yes, I support we stop publicising suicide cases,it has done more harm than good.
Although it's not good to speak Ill of the dead but I will applaud this ex for speaking the truth. Will I say its karma and other issues that led the guy to kill himself. People should just be careful how they treat others
ReplyDeleteIts not good to speak I'll of the dead became of what?
DeleteThey will come back and conk you on the head at night abi what??
Speaking ill of someone means telling a lie about them or saying things to damage their character, when they aren't there.
DeleteHowever, if the truth is spoken, then it is what it is. It is not termed 'speaking ill' anymore. It is the whole plain truth.
People blaming his wife are high. Was she the one that gave him sniper to drink?
ReplyDeleteStella I love you but I viciously disagree with you on this one. Don't we encourage women in abusive relationships to speak up? I applaud her courage for coming out to with this story & also vindicating the DJ's wife. We need more of this
ReplyDeleteShe did the right thing oo!
ReplyDeletePeople are blaming the wife for leaving; saying her leaving caused his suicide.
In this Nigeria, where the 'stand by your man' thing is preached to death, it is very rare that a woman will leave her husband if not for domestic violence.
We also know that men who hit one woman are more than likely to beat subsequent women. It is not the women, because you can't say every woman they meet is bad. It is the fact that these types of men have untreated psychological issues. These include Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and many others.
My cousin in the States married a man who later became incredibly abusive. He was later diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Every time he beat her and she ran away to a shelter, he would threaten to kill himself, her and the kids if she didn't come home. Out of fear, she would go running back to him. Finally, the abuse got out of hand and she ran away to a shelter in another state where he couldn't find her. Later, he was arrested for stabbing someone else and is currently serving his jail sentence.
I suspect this guy had a Borderline Personality Disorder.
Sometimes personality disorders can cause depression. For example, people with Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder are more susceptible to depression and suicide than normal people.
Dear wife, if you left because he abused you-which I suspect you did-PLEASE AND PLEASE, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!I repeat, RESIST THE URGE TO ALLOW PEOPLE INTO MANIPULATING YOU TO FEEL GUILTY! His psychological problems were beyond you! I hate to sound like a sadist, but if he'd gotten the help he needed, he probably would be alive today.
THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!
All you have written are nothing but the truth.
DeleteGod bless u annony@12:00,
DeleteSo many mental illness no dey show for outward appearance. Mad people like dat who presents well, functioning well in their daily life & fooling people that they r ok. Hidden deep down is that they r tormented & in urgent need of help!!!
*** for any human to kill themself or kill another human being for a relationship or marriage gone wrong, means they r more dangerous than a raving lunatic on the street walking totally naked!!!
NIGERIANS PLEASE TAKE CARE OF UR MENTAL HEALTH & STOP KEEPING URSELF IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OR BAD MARRIAGE. WALK, WALK AWAY, RUN RUN 🏃 FAST FROM A PERSONAL SAFETY CONCERNING SITUATION.
Anonymous @ 12.00pm
DeleteThis is so apt. Powerful comment. Thanks.
Stella, what do you mean she has no right calling him out?
ReplyDeleteShe did the right thing and I applaud her courage for standing up and speaking for the wife and clearing her name.
Just yesterday, I read here someone already blaming the wife for his committing suicide.
I'm just imagining what she's/she'd go through in the hands of his family.
In essence, they mean to say she shouldn't have left the abusive and violent man.
If so, why haven't almost all the wives committed suicide cos their husbands left them and married other women?
I agree with most of the comments here not blaming the lady for speaking up and out. I mean why should one paint someone that once lived white when they were actually black while alive. Plus I believe in acting within right time frame, spontaneously if I may say. Look at the R Kelly documentary by lifetime for instance why are those ladies just coming out... some things are easily known if it's quickly addressed, not leaving room for premeditation or somewhat... may his soul find peace and rest in it.
ReplyDeleteLet's be humble and kind to one another people, it doesn't really cost much to be, but it will make this world a much better place if we can. You see some people that God has strategical placed in a position to help, they will turn themselves to mini god, they turn to control freaks, calling people names,bullying and all sorts. Any avenue to rub it in, you will hear things like, am I your mate or am I your boiboi? You can't treat or talk to me anyhow,forgetting they are not in line with they are preaching and asking from others, such attitudes is what gradually builds to a sycophant,tyrannical behaviour which might eventually bubble burst if care is not taken. Let drives people away eventually and may lead to loneliness, depression and even suicidal thoughts. May God help us.
Re-R Kelly the ladies have been speaking out since but no one listened and they were threatened. It wasn’t until 2 years ago that traction on his misdeeds started again and a prominent journalist took interest without fear and was determined to expose all his evil.
DeleteThere is even a sick video of him with a 14yr old with him urinating on her and all sorts sexually sadist acts.
DeleteShebi they set him free. He married Aaliyah too at age 15/16.
Rkelly's matter with underaged girls has been on since but he kept getting away with it.
I have a husband that can commit suicide just to make me look guilty. That's how desperate he is.
ReplyDeletehmmmm......
DeleteLike a lot of your comments, SDK this one fails. The worst ever.
ReplyDeleteStella it is right she spoke up. This is Nigeria. The wife may suffer the stigma or even be lynched sef. Be mindful of your opinion too because its powerful because of your voice and personality. Encourage ladies to speak up.
ReplyDeleteThank you koko.
DeleteShe did the right thing.....d poor woman is already been crucified without any knowledge of what she might have gone through in his hands.
ReplyDeleteSo because the wife left,that is the reason he killed himself, am very sure there are other things attached to it, only God knows the truth.
ReplyDeletePermit me to quote Shakespeare ;
ReplyDeleteFriends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.
I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interrèd with their bones.
So let it be with Caesar.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteGbam. The scales are off!!!
DeleteMy husband is very manipulative and possessive. I am the kind of lady who will not date two men at a time . After I married him he would not want me to talk to my friends anymore and call me a bitch and harlot when we quarrel. He would call everyone report me to them that am cheating on him and am a prostitute....he would want to know who i speak with on the phone .if my phone rings he would want me to pick immediately and leave it in speaker..if I want to go out he would cancel his meetings to take me there and bring me back home...at work he would ask for my shifts details and call me on phone as soon as I get to work until I finished..he complained about my makeup and dresses and would beat me if I told him not invade in my privacy...he wants password for my emails Facebook and other social media....he want to know all the boys I might have dated b4 him and always ask me if I still talk to them. After 4 kids
ReplyDeleteHe would always want to have sex with me b4 I go out....i got fed up and left him... he became frustrated and he would stalk me and use different phones to call me and when I pick he won't talk because he wanted to see if a man was with me...me i don't even have time for such. He has never caught me with any bad behaviours but he always think every women cheats...i told him if he think like dat he should just stop dating women....when he became sick and tired I got back with him ...if not he would hurt himself....but now the attitude is still there but lesser than before but he envy anyone that come near me even the females....so some men are so troubled...and have trust issues
My sister, are you sure we aren't married to the same man? The way this man calls me a prostitute ehn. Last weekend my pastor and his wife came to visit us, he accused the man of sleeping with me and sent them away! Thank God the wife is so matured .When I called her to apologize, she was just pleading with me not to quarrel with him that I should stop crying.
DeleteThis foolish man, with low self esteem has accused me of all sorts. The other day I told him his house has become a brotel o ,that all kinds of men come in to sleep with me, including mallam .I said my changes ranges between #200-500 So he should also start paying me for sex. You need to see the look on his stupid face . Instead of this man to write his professional exams, so that our children can have a better life. He prefers to stay put in Nigeria to monitor me. I go soon leave am, if he like let him drink gamaline20!.. . I keep asking myself how I ended up with this sort of human being
So proud of sdkers for coming to the woman's defence. She was right to post what she did.
ReplyDelete