So much Brouhaha..............
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE SUITORS
I have suitors coming for my hand in marriage but my problem is that they are all from the Catholic Church except one from Methodist.
I'm in love with one of my suitors ,but he is like 18 years older then I am and he is Catholic as well. We are of the same profession. My parents have refused to hear anything about me marrying a Catholic because they are concerned about my soul and they also say the guy is too old for me.
I love the Methodist guy but he is not a graduate and isn't doing so well in business but my parents prefer I marry him than marrying the Catholic Guy because they believe that with my profession I'll be able to cope and most importantly he is born again. I'm also scared of breaking his heart cos he has really shown me so much love and I lead him on,i would have loved to be his wife but his financial/academic status is really reducing my love for him. I feel I may despise him after marriage and I don't want that.
Both guys want to start marriage stuff by January.
Dear Bvs, I need your advice, I don't want to fight my parents because I love them so much and wouldn't want to do anything that will spoil their ministry.I don't know if I should discharge them all and wait for a born again but what if I don't get one.does marriage between a born again Christian and a Catholic work?. I won't want to be having issues with my husband over doctrines and beliefs.
I don't have hatred for any denomination and I don't want to cause any offense (I know we all serve one God) and am sorry if my chronicles offend you,but we all have our own beliefs and doctrine when it come to serving God.
*Na wah..Another religious brouhaha?I have see and heard of a lot of Marriages break up because of religious ish either caused by parents or the couple....if you dont understand it personally,then walk away from all the drama and wait for someone that matches who you seek,the wait might take forever but it would be better than coming out of a broken union caused by ish like you mentioned.
By the way,marrying a Catholic is not as bad as people make it look...I am married to one and there is no wahala concerning that and i even attend their Church and bringing up the kids as Catholics but teaching them that we all serve one God.
No matter what happens, don't marry out of pity or fear of breaking someone's heart.
ReplyDeleteI agree
Delete"Does marriage between a born again Christian and a Catholic work? "
DeleteWho exactly is a born again Christian and who is a Catholic? Any Christian that has the fear of God and live a christ-like life is a born again irrespective of the denomination. You people should stop this division and utter rubbish please. Personally I really do not like "core born again" because they are too judgemental and too frigid
By the way, why do ladies sending 'I want to marry chronicles' start with their age always? Must you marry one of them?
DeleteYou're already conflicted on both accounts and won't be happy in either.
It's well with you. Just have this in your mind, your parents won't live with you. You'll be living with your husband alone.
DeleteSo them telling you who they want no gel at all.
Our parents should stop this pls.
Thanks anon, do I know the mumu question this 28 year old is asking, you are in love with a guy and you don’t even understand his religion or even want to know about it, you don’t mature enough to settle down
DeleteAbeg someone should explore for my neighbour biko. All I'm seeing is I love the Catholic guy, I love the Methodist guy, I love the Sango. I stopped so that my wig will not fall off.
DeleteWhat are you bringing to the table apart from ponyor?
I'm not sure you are above 18. L me not waste my time talking.
@ BB Gbam
DeleteWhile I'm here praying for at least one Roman Catholic suitor, someone said they are not born again. I keep seeing all these Penticostals which I'm not even comfortable with. Oluwa, biko take the wheels .
Delete18 years is much o
Deletei thought i was the only 1 that saw the 18yrs. sister 18yrs is much.. u will just b operating from two diff generation
DeleteDon't break up. Marry and be happy. I gave up on the one I love cos of my parent's and religion/ministry. Now I'm so unhappy in my marriage. Please marry for love but be sure you both resolve on what church you will attend as a couple.
ReplyDelete"Born again Christian and a Catholic"
DeleteDumbest phrase I hv seen this year, sad and shameful
Aunty 28 years old, are you sure you know the meaning of love? This one you are loving everyone up and down, and for the first guy being Catholic shouldn’t even be there concern, you are in love with a 46 year old man, when will you guys start your family? Nawa to you o
DeleteChurch is just a building if you choose the 46 year old guy, see how all these pastors are misbehaving, my dear follow your heart, except your parents have a man for you
The 18 years age difference is too much.
DeleteMarrying a non graduate I don't also advise so I pray you put everything on hold am sure Mr perfect is on the way.
Celine Dion's ex husband was 26 years older than her. I don't know what's wrong with 18 years age difference if he gives her peace. I'm in love with a man that's 20 years older than me but of all the guys I've dated in this naija, he's the very best, probably because of his maturity. So please, you guys should leave her alone if the older guy is the one she loves. Peace of mind is the most important thing in marriage
Deletemadam it is much even celine dion had to put her music career on hold to take care of her husband. people like u end up as sugar mummy because ur husband can't satisfy u again or u run away when the sickness start. biko maintain ur lane
DeleteConvince the Catholic guy to wed you in any Pentecostal Church and after wedding you follow him to Catholic.Though his parents may not be cool with it but he should try and talk to them. I'm sure your parents will prefer him to the Methodist guy cos Methodist is also an Orthodox Church. It worked for someone I know.
ReplyDeleteGood idea. Smart way to deal with Nigerian parents. Trust me poster your parents will not be in the marriage with you. After the wedding comes the marriage. They are not the same at all.
DeleteIt looks like that forest in your head has beclouded your reasoning.
DeleteI na afuzikwa uzo?
You should be askinh if she herself wants to move to catholic cause if that's the case, it shouldn't be a problem
DeleteFan emmanuel only you can think of a deceitful thing like that....poster you are obviously not born again like your parents that’s why you have this conflict. Most of these Catholics are not born again and yes the Catholic Church has a lot of doctrines that are not biblical...e.g bowing down to the image of Mary is not biblical and idol worship...you are too young to allow your parents force you into marriage. Leave them both and take your time...if you are born again make sure you actively lead your child to accept Christ as their personal lord and savior, that way they will take wise decisions without you forcing them.
DeleteNa una sabi,May God deliver Nigerian parents thats all I can say
ReplyDeleteI say a resounding Amen to that prayer
DeleteThat's how they will be confusing younger ones
Ask them in their time if this ever mattered and you will be surprised at the answer you will get
They love control even at the detriment of their child
At 28 your parents shouldn't dictate who to marry or not to you.and Catholics are born against too...it just depends on the individual you're talking about. Marrying a Methodist too is ok...At the end of the day, you'll be the person in the marriage not your parents. It's your decision at the end of the day
ReplyDeleteBorn against? Lemme come and be going😁
DeleteIt's one God but different Doctrine and Bible application. If he can allow you worship in your own church it will Gel if not there might be issues oo except you want to join him.. Discuss with the guy what he wants after marriage.
ReplyDeleteThe Methodist guy I don't know jare. Follow your heart.
Salvation is a personal thing. I really believe every individual should decide by himself what church and which way he wants to serve God. Not your husband, not your parents. You!!
DeleteWILL JUST WAKA PASS
ReplyDeleteBBJAC
Christian against christian, na wa o!
ReplyDeleteMay God save us all
I admire the Muslims in many ways, christians things too de get K-leg
DeletePoint of correction: There is nothing like;
ReplyDelete"Born again home"
"Born again church"
etc.
God does not judge churches or homes, he judges individuals. We shall all appear before the judgment seat of Christ.
You saw the story of Lazarus and the Rich man; Luke 16 -The former went to heaven while the later went to hell,
there was no mention of churches there; was there. Jesus told Nicodemus in John 3; except a man be born again . . .
not except his "church or home is born again". Look girl, the problem of a lot of Nigerians is church.
I am glad that I don't attend any but I know my scriptures and I know my God; the Lord Jesus.
If you do not know character; love, peace, gentleness, patience, self control etc. and all you want to do is know if
the person is "worshiping in a born again church", then good wishes.
I did not read you mention anything about the leading of the Holy Spirit in your choice of whom to marry. As it is, you only
told us about the leading of "money and education and age" . . . all these do not make a man, knowledge of God does.
From your mindset, and pitiably that of your parents, if someone speaks in tongues, attends a "born again church" and is
a fornicator or liar, they don't care, he is a "believer".
It is a pity. Study your scriptures and seek God and stop depending on the "shadows of what you think your parents are in Christ".
Could this be Daddy Freeze?
Delete@15:52
DeleteSorry, I am not Daddy Freeze.
God bless you 15.25. I really wonder if people think God considers us by church denomination.
DeleteDo you know the Bible? Does the Catholic Church believe the born again doctrine? Do they speak in tongues? Do they even read the normal bible? What is with Mary and bowing down to images? God does not consider you by church denominations but if you are in a denomination that does not conform with Bible doctrines by all means leave. How can a true born again. Be comfortable with a Catholic? Can they pray the rosary together? Will she bow down to a statue of Mary or Jesus? Your argument here does not hold water cos a lot of things the Catholics do is not biblical
DeleteDon't marry for love alone oo, that one no mean anything
ReplyDeletePlease what is wrong with Catholics???
ReplyDeleteYou see ya life?
ReplyDeleteThe Stella wey you dey write be Penteco tey tey
but she don marry Catholic come dey jolly for her matrimoni.
If an abroadman go show now, even if na anwuru ike im dey sell
ya papa go commot from im pastor horse come born am again by force
wed two of you.
I taya for all una Naija girls o.
I pray you get the wisdom to solve this puzzle. And to think we call ourselves Christians yet allow denomination and doctrine divide us.
ReplyDeletePlease follow your heart. Marriage is no childs play. You cant afford to have pending unresolved issues. Btw, why are you even thinking of the older guy? seriously 18 years? like 18 years. ahn ahn! abeg ooo.
My sister 18 good years why is he still single?
DeleteI feel so bad for single ladies in this country, after jumping so many hoops & selecting suitors like Oshogbo beans, you then have to deal with their religion too... whats next? Check if they can roll their tongue? Or their right hand can get to their left earlobe? B4 i 4get myself again... ehe, poster, that 18yrs sha plenty oh, and folks has marked him X join, where X is unknown, and could possibly turn EX, see what happened to MrX, dont ask me Y? I wsnt there when she paid her own bride price & started fighting, that wouldnt be ur potion of porridge in Jesus name!
ReplyDeleteBut see how you concluded on this innocent guy that u led on for donkey yrs, why'd you believe his finance will remain constant like presence of HIV in a body? Only to be managed but never completely gone, not 4gettin that HIV is a communicable disease next to Gonorrhea, like ur dad has sat on a stool to see that with ur status u can work as a team & grow grey hair in your pubic region together while growing ur account as well ofcourse, he didnt need to form Zacchaeus to see that, if its degree, its never too late na, does he speak well at least? Discharging both is another option, if ure certain you hate the idea of being the Agege winner, but lots of homes out there with the man smiling like he pays the bills its a lie, its the lady covering his ass, in life bills & taxes + death is inevitable, & yet humans claim to be the smartest specie on earth, other living things dont pay bills na, see suicide cases all over, how many animals have u seen going that path? Leave out the Moth going into fire, na mumu de do that one, ok choose well oh, marriage & mortuary i dont know which is more scary.
lol... you are mad. You are beautifully mad
DeleteGet an ID. I like you already. But wait which one is Osogbo beans?
Lmao
DeleteWhere did you come from YLE. I like you, no scratch that. I love you.
Heheheheheh
Lol
DeleteI give up YLE
😂😂😂😂😂.... this one brain has hibernated.
DeleteViva, he escaped from mental home, he said he'd one day tell us how he escaped & why he was held there in chains, i hope he hasnt given that gist yet.
DeleteLmao!!! U are truly not okay....
DeleteA shot of diazapem please! Lol
DeleteBiko leave Catholic.is a no no.i was a catholic for over 20+ years.dont mind Stella about cath.is darkness.wait another will come.stella pls don't swallow it cos it is against ur believe
ReplyDeleteI feel genuinely sorry for you.
Delete🙄
DeleteWhen other people are rushing into the Catholic church, you left. A church instituted by Christ himself through St. Peter, whose doctrines are based strictly on biblical standards. I'm sorry for you. If you know the graces that Catholics obtain from one holy mass alone, you'll feel sorry for yourself. Not to talk of graces obtained from other sacraments like confession and penance. Poster said her parents are worried about her soul. But I laughed when I read that. I'm more worried about their own souls.
DeleteLmao.
DeleteMay you not miss heaven with this mentality.
Poster, your parents rejection of the Catholic comes with reasons because of their positions and what church members would say. So, they believed you shouldn't entangle yourself with someone outside your domain.
ReplyDeleteIt's very important when considering marriage especially women to try and marry someone that you are not too far from as par education and exposure. It can work for men marrying women that are not in their level than women.
I want to ask , have you really prayed concerning the suitors or you people are just making decisions based on emotions and religious beliefs?
A Catholic today can be pentecostal Pastor tomorrow if it's God will. A secondary school drop out can also be a graduate tomorrow depending on his priority and drive.
Knowing God and having the fear of God is key in marriage but it's not the total package.
Ask God for direction and use wisdom to win your parents over.
Becoz of what people will say
DeleteBecoz of what people will say
That's how many became unfulfilled and lost
Cuz they didn't even get the chance to live their own lives
Aren't there homes filled DV let alone other dicey issues despite the fact that the couples were joined together even as members of the same pentecostal church?
Poster make your choices wisely cuz you and only you will be living in the same house with the man you choose
And everyone else will face front when the times comes and OYO will be your case
Some Churches and some self acclaimed pastors have ruined some lives.
ReplyDeleteNa so one pastor tell my friend, who's married with two kids that he's the heaven's match to one of his congregant. Na so the poor babe open yansh 180° for my friend.
Poster, just follow ur mind. leave church matter, read your Bible and gain knowledge
Hmmmm what kind of mindset or thinking do some people have so being a Catholic means he is not born again. What do you understand by being born again anyway. I pity you and this your understanding of religion.
ReplyDeleteAt 28 u don't knw what you want or make decisions fr yourself, I started taking genuine decisions by myself wen I was 15 my parents only advice and support me as long as it makes me happy.....hanty pls u are old enough to know what u want,wen u clock 30+ dy might chase u out of d huz
ReplyDeleteAt 28 u don't knw what you want or make decisions fr yourself, I started taking genuine decisions by myself wen I was 15 my parents only advice and support me as long as it makes me happy.....hanty pls u are old enough to know what u want,wen u clock 30+ dy might chase u out of d huz....religion is on tin DT blinds pple,does d men serve Jehovah and believe in Jesus if yes,what den its d problem?
ReplyDeleteNa WA o, so we Catholics are not born again? Hian!!!....well my dear, marry from your denomination sha if you can't cope. I jeje married a fellow Catholic that I love because I no fit for denomination wahala. All the best sha.
ReplyDeleteJesus is Lord!Biko who is this Yaba Left Escapee.. Kai! I've been laughing like a mad woman here. I give up abeg. Lol
ReplyDeleteThe Catholic guy is 47 years? Wow!
ReplyDeleteAlmost 50years old... How come he's been single all these years?
Well, if you are rich enough to set up the Methodist guy, then give it a try.
The man is too old jare
Definitely an Igbo man, na them de marry late like that & them dominate catholic church, when she was leading this other guy on she didnt know he wasnt financially stable oh, till she saw a richer one, selfish girl... na her type karma de take note of their address then knock unexpectedly.
DeleteHmm.. I'm in the same boat and my man has blatantly refused to at least wed in Pentecostal. Are you ready to bear the repercussions from your father's church member's for going against the church doctrines? Are you ready to follow this man to catholic after the wedding? Are you ready to groom your kids in his church ?If so, then go ahead.
ReplyDeleteWow! Are you marrying a divorcee? Age is not just a number o. Your kids will grow up to see him as grand dad instead of their dad.
ReplyDeleteI think you should pray for the right man to show this year.
Don't enter any marriage that you will only manage.
My God! You are 28years old and a born again while Catholics are not born again?
ReplyDeleteYou see this heavenly race,everyone is on their own.
Permit me to ask you o nne,have you been to a Catholic church before?
I guess NO!
Take out time,attend their masses one or two times,if you still feel you are not convinced and feel those who attend there won't make heaven,then reject a catholic suitor at the mention of catholic church.
Parents see how you punish your kids,you go around condemning ones doctrine just to suit yourselves and not your kids.This same thing caused problem between Paul and other disciples.
Are we not all of one faith?
Is Christ not out model?
May God help us in this RACE
Don't marry out of pity or sentiments. Religion or denomination should be out of it. If you love him enough to follow his beliefs why not and he should equally allow you to follow your beliefs
ReplyDeletePoster stop being a push over and stand on what you want.
ReplyDeleteReligious compatibility is very vital in marriage. Be sure to choose who you can live with and also tolerate. You shouldn't have led someone on if you know you can't tolerate him.
ReplyDeleteHowever, marrying out of pity or to satisfy your parents wishes won't help you in the long run. Instead, pray and try to convince your parents to support whoever you truly love and can live with.
Remember that you will live with your choice, not your parents.
my husband was catholic, born again,spirit filled. he deceided to join my church as am a pastor.he is doing so well.even better than those in the pentecostal
ReplyDeleteAsk your hubby the difference he will tell you. Let’s stop deceiving ourselves.
DeleteMust you make a decision now? Marrying a man twenty years older at your age is hmmmm. There are also 30 and 35yr old handsome men who are wealthy. Search yourself and make sure you are not settling, make sure it is not just the desperation for a Mrs. that is pushing you forward. You will know what is right for you if you slow yourself down and do not rush.
ReplyDeleteOK I have always believed that a woman has no church until after marriage moreover what's up with all the division, please there is no church in heaven , your concern should be does this guy really love you? does he know his position as the priest of your family and in place of worship, is he teachable, so at least you can teach him the ones he doesn't know. Please don't marry out of pity and don't marry someone that isn't educated to avoid complex issue from his part.
ReplyDeletePoster marry your catholic guy, forget that your Methodist guy. Marry who you love and who makes you happy. Older men are sweeter that all these small small children
ReplyDeleteYawns and walk away.
ReplyDeleteWe all serve one God. Madam Stella you are very correct. My father is of the Anglican faith while my mother is of the Catholic faith. We are five siblings. Three are Catholics while two are of Pentecostal faith we are still one family. Every thing boils down to understanding. Marriage tales more than love and Christian denomination. You are the one getting married not your parents moreover Christianity is in the heart and in the attitude.
ReplyDeletedo not marry any of them if you dont feel good.
ReplyDelete