Hmmmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HUSBAND WITH A QUESTION MARK HANGING ON HIS HEAD
My husband and I have been together for 10yrs: 5yrs of courtship and 5yrs of marriage. When we were courting he wasn't earning much then and the little he has, he saves it and spend prudently to pay all his bills without owning anyone.
After marriage he travelled out for a training from his company and when he came back he was promoted and money started coming in, at least he earns nothing less than 1m in a month with outside job and his job allows him to take contract outside and also work for them.
Now my problem now is that, this man doesn't save anymore, he buys the latest expensive things and in few months, he dash it out. He spends extravagantly, he pays for everyone's food at work. He buys himself things that are just outrageous. In all he doesn't do much for us at home, by the time he is done with his spending outside, he will be broke for few days, then another money will come in. We don't have the proper amenities in the house for his kind of earning. He likes showing off outside, if any one begs him for money, he gives them triple of what was asked for.
I don't know if its because no one comes to visit us. He doesn't have Any properties except a car or no savings. He is very hardworking and he travels for jobs all the time.
I can't count how many times he has promised to give me money to furnish the house properly but nothing at the end of the day. I tried to make the house in order with the little things we have when he was earning low income.
I have to remind him of our daughters school fees all the time before he pays. I don't act as if I am independent, I demand money all the time even though I have my own little money that I am managing. I am worried , I am a very prudent and discipline person when it comes to spending money, I buy what we need not what we want and save the rest but this man practically buys anything to impress outsiders, his colleagues and families. Everyone thinks I am enjoying.
He has an expensive car that is very beautiful without any issues and he said he wants to buy a new recent Mercedes Benz that costs a lot, that he will sell the car he is using and put money from the contract he is going for now. I told him that the money can buy two reasonable cars, one for him and one for me, then we should use the rest to build our own house or buy if that's what he wants. He said he wants to buy house in highbrow area when he has the money.
Just two days ago he bought the latest apple laptop. I just looked at him and I couldn't even talk, our house rent is due, he hasn't paid the daughters school fees ( I have paid since). I have told people that are close to him and No one seems to believe me except my mum.
He said he wants to rent an apartment in ikoyi that he has been transferred to the head office. We don't have anything tangible to move in to that ikoyi house he is talking about ooo. Even the car he wants to buy is because he feels the one he is using is not in the league of the people at the head office. His friend thinks I am lying, I asked them to come visits us and when they came he wasn't even ashamed sef, the friends had to tell me that they know he is capable of furnishing the house with the things we need but maybe he just doesn't want to buy it.
He spends more of his time at work and travelling than at home. He has been the one collecting the award for most diligent and hardworking staff, even His office can't even tell him to go because he has really made the company grow. I have talked to him a millions times but he won't just listen. Even he doesn't give house allowance per month, he may drop 10k for food in the house for us. Everyone comes to him fro help, he can eat at all this expensive restaurant and pay 75k at a sitting. He can spend 2m in a day without blinking or feeling somehow.
Pls what can I do, I have ignored him but it's eating me up with the way people demand for money from me or ask me for donations here and there.
Pls what can I do, I have ignored him but it's eating me up with the way people demand for money from me or ask me for donations here and there.
*What kind of man is this?Even if she doesnt owe you anything,if you give to outsiders,why not your wife?the mum of your kids?
Madam i dont know what you have settled for but this is lower than settling for less oh.....
His village people at work.
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you. He behaves like someone that is cursed from his village not to amount to anything because this kind os spending is senseless....how can you earn a million a month and with only onr child you will be owing sch fees house rent 10k for cooking ur wife trekiing no washing machine.
DeleteMadam abeg pray for him or find ways to get his mobile bank app pin, once they pay transfer 3/4 to your account. He will only shout he can't do nada.
Imagine buying food for everyone at work and nothing at home. The man os mad abeg.
I swear you just spoke my mind.. village people don install their app for the man head, they wont stop till hes down.
DeleteHe needs help.
Such a man should be paying rent.
Shouldnt*
DeletePele poster. My hubby is a spender like urs .The only difference is that he spends on me too.so I jus kuku save and invest from wat he gives me...i have savings but he doesn't.
DeleteSounds like a case of village people o...
DeleteGood thinking @fan Emmanuel,but I am thinking its more of a psychological problem than spiritual. Some people that have suffered and lived in poverty tend to be a bit extravagant with their spending once they heat Jackpot. I think the woman just has to be smart to secure the future of her daughter. What if things go south and they are left with nothing? I don't know what playing smart may entail,but she has to figure it out and act fast.
DeleteSoon some fool will go online to say feminist women want equal opportunities but not equal responsibilities. Is this not another example of the uncountable Nigerian women who take up most or all responsibilities while the husbands only drop money once in a blue moon but they take credit for having a good home and well-brought up children even though they rarely contribute financially talkless of other aspects of parenting or running a home. Poster, find ways to suck his money so you can save some of yours too please.
DeleteI have prayed on this matter but he doesn't even go to church since the money came. I have tried every method to gaining money all to no avail.
DeleteMy husband never lived in poverty not even for a min but he also spends like this, just that his own dey go round, he only gets himself when the money is finishing, I am a manager and it used to pain me before, I will talk taya but when I started having kids I joined in the chopping, and he sure can spend, now I collect a lot in the name of spending and save or invest it, in your own case I don’t even know what to say
DeleteAunty, why don't report him to his parents? Investment is necessary in today's world o. Please, don't abandone Praters too but talk to his parents or elder siblings and make sure you invest with the little money you have. Buy lands and shares. And please, put your mind at rest. Don't overstress yourself because of anybody. May God see you through.
DeletePoster alot of men are not good managers of money,but this your own is just on another level. Alot are reckless with money and life in general. That is why alot of women are managers of finances in their homes. The men make the money and leave the women to run the home with it.But the problem is you don't even have access to his funds.how I wish you had access. You will be the one paying the bills from that account and even withdraw for investments in Treasury bills,commercial papers,properties to secure your kids future.
DeleteThe Lord is your strength because I hate financially reckless people. It's painful the money is there and you don't even have access.
THIS IS THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF MY DAD. HE WAS LIVING IN A FOOL'S PARADISE UNTIL EVERYTHING WENT WRONG. HE EVEN TOOK ANOTHER WIFE, USING LACK OF MALE CHILD AS A STUPID REASON. UNTIL HE QUICKLY RESIGNED HIS JUICY JOB BECAUSE HE WAS TO BE FIRED FOR SOME SHADY DEALS HE WAS DOING IN THE COMPANY. THEN, EVERYTHING TURNED AROUND.
DeleteHOW DO U REFUSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY BUT U GO AND TAKE CHIEFTAINCY TITLES AS A 'REWARD' FOR BEING RICH? WHEN THEY SEE US SHINNING, THEY WILL BE PRAISING MY DAD, MEANWHILE, MY MUM WAS FRYING AND SELLING FISH, MEAT, SOFT DRINKS, MEATPIE, BREAD, ETC TO CARE FOR US. AND WE ALL LIVED IN THE SAME MESSED UP HOUSE! EVEN THOUGH WE HARDLY SAW HIM.
MY MUM AND ALL OF US USED TO 'STEAL' (ITS NOT EVEN STEALING. ITS HER MONEY TOO) HIS MONEY STEADY THEN.
MY HUSBAND ALSO HAS THE TENDENCIES. BEFORE WE MARRIED, HE HAD SMALL MONEY AND WAS DASHING PEOPLE, TRAINING THE WORLD, ETC. MEANWHILE, I WAS THERE DOING MISS INDEPENDENT. NOW WE ARE MARRIED, HE IS BROKE. MAYBE HIS VILLAGE PEOPLE REMEMBERED HIM OR USED HIS PHILANTHROPY MONEY AGAINST HIM. THEY DONT HEAR WORD. MTCHEW. IM WAITING FOR HIM TO MAKE MONEY. NA ME AND HIM.
MADAM, SCRAPE THIS MAN, BECAUSE HES PROBABLY CHEATING TOO. ONCE MONEY ENTERS THEIR HEADS LIKE THIS, WOMAN ALSO ENTERS. OUTSIDE WOMEN WONT EVEN LET HIM DRINK WATER AND DROP CUP. IN FACT, HE IS CHEATING.
U KNOW YOUR peculiar SITUATION, FIND A WAY TO SUCK THIS POTBELLIED HUSBAND OF URS DRY.
HOW DO U RENT A HOUSE IN IKOYI, WHEN U CAN BUY LAND AND BUILD OR EVEN TAKE A MORTGAGE IN LEKKI??? JEEZ! THIS MAN IS TOO VAIN AND SHALLOW AND STUPID!
I HOPE MEN ARE READING THIS CHRONICLE. IF U DO LIKE THIS MAN, UR CHILDREN WILL HATE U!!
This one weak me o.
DeleteMadam poster, may God turn your hubby around, this is not life at all, very wierd behaviour
Poster, I am in the same situation but mine doesn’t give to friends, he gives to his mother and sisters while me and the kids struggle to get anything from him. I send his kids to ask him and he tells them to their face that he can’t afford their smallest request. Meanwhile he has properties in only his name, his sisters are loaded (I kid you not) but still borrow money from him and never pay back, he is even paying for IVF for his younger sister in her late forties who is single and has no child! You see, women go through a lot in marriage and some Nigerian men are just too mean!!
DeleteHm this sounds like my husband. Always posing, boasting and spending outside. Now in his 50s he has nothing to show for his work. Not even a personal plot of land. I got tired of talking and just used the money he gave me to quietly be buying land and shares. Now he’s not working and all his various girlfriends and friends that he bought properties for have run away. All his cars he was posing with then are now old. Pls talk to ur husband. Show him this page with all the responses. He can still change especially as he is still working. Good luck
DeleteThis thing may be spiritual. My husband was the same way except he never bought even a car then. His was that until the money finished, his eyes would not clear. It took serious prayers and still takes serious prayers to break that yoke. Everywhere pastor and Imam that met him or prayed for him or that I went to said the same thing. It was a curse that needed to be broken. Imagine owing workers, rent etc but spending lavishly on others.
DeleteLiving in bondage!!!!
ReplyDeleteMadam poster, you need to start thinking of ways to squeeze out cash from that father christmas oh, go and plan with a doctor, tell them to call your husband that its urgent, an operation is required.... bill plus drugs all is 800k.
DeleteNext week, your daughter need one medical attention too.... bill is 500k.
YOU NÈED TO THINK WELL OUTSIDE THE LOYAL BOX
Feigning sickness isn't the way out,my dear. Have you heard of law of attraction? That whatever you think or assume consciously or subconsciously comes into play in real life?
DeleteMadam, an advice has finally come to my head, go and meet his boss and complain, let them send some money to you directly from his salary, Beg them to make it look official so he thinks he dint do something right and is being punished for it. You just have to do something especially for your daughters case
DeleteNa wa your husband is a typical example of most people who suddenly get money and stay excited because when they were poor or managing all they ever prayed for was money to live an extravagant life instead of praying for money as well as the wisdom to sustain it.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is this is who he is and he may never change until something terrible happens to him and those he has helped desert him. I also think it’s also because you work, you may not earn as much as he does but you earn enough to pay school fees and care for your kids but this is wrong in every shape and form.
Those people he is helping would be the death of him and when or if he ever needs them they would be no where to be found. All I’d tell you is that you save too as much as you can, I honestly can’t tolerate living with someone who is invested in making outsiders happier than his immediate family but there are many of his kind in the world. Find a way to always tax him for something you know he really likes and can’t do without every month then save part of it. If it’s food, collect money times three for it and save the extra but seriously this lifestyle is not sustainable and you need to act fast because permit me peoPle like him die and leave their family with nothing. There must be someone he listens to that can step or better still you’re his wife there must be a way to get your man to listen to you. Living in a rented apartment and driving big cars makes no sense because car depreciates while a land or house appreciates. Please find a way Cos this is too bad.
Nouveau riche.
DeleteNa their way.
The man is a mad man abeg..he wont drop anything whether she tax him or not....anything for d house he wont drop. Cant u see him dropping 10k for food once in a month?
DeleteIf not she knows his work place, i would have thought that's the condition they gave him in his Occult group..that he will have plenty money but shouldn't spend on his family.
He searched for work for almost 8yrs before getting it and the little he was getting was been spent well then, not until he started earning well. I can't count how many times he has mistakenly bought 100k airtime on his acct ( mistake of 2 zeros) and he didn't bother to call his acct manager to reverse it back. He just started transferring airtime to people on his contact list. God will help him.
DeleteThanks for your comments
Madam can't you tell this man to put standing instruction in his account for you monthly? Where his bank debits his accounf and credit your account on same date monthly without fail. I disturbed my husband's life for him to put a standing instruction of 250k to my account monthly to run the home. One thing I hate is begging for money then you will be giving me a measly 20k here, 10k there. I pay the bills and buy food with this money. This is asides school fees that he pays. I work but don't earn that much.
DeleteYou need to seat down with him. Write down what you need to run the home monthly. And let his account officer set up an SI for you monthly. He can afford it pls.
You just need to know the best time to bring this up.
Send him this link to read seriously. Ha! 100k airtime....thats strange
DeleteHe obviously has a steady girlfriend that he has furnished house for that’s why he doesn’t feel it’s important to do the same thing in his home . Ignore him and focus on yourself and the kids.
ReplyDeleteEverything is not all about girlfriend. Jeez
DeleteIt’s more than girlfriend situation but there’s definitely a girlfriend involved too. Let’s no fool ourselves or the poster. He has a comfortable place where he spends a lot of his time and that’s why he doesn’t feel the need to make his home comfortable and presentable. He might have even booth a house already but has a different woman living there. Possibly a woman he feels belongs in his new class. Poster, find a way to squeeze and drain all the money you can from him to secure yours and your child’s future because this man here doesn’t seem to have you guys in his comfy future plans. He probably sees you as the poor-season partner. He’s always dreamt about being rich, going places, dating certain kinds of women etc and you’re probably not on those dreams of his. It’s time to get really smart
DeleteMy dear there is probably a girlfriend involved. This description fits my husband and I found out that he bought and furnished a house for a girlfriend so I believe it.
DeletePoster, listen to that anon up there. Poor-season partner is a real thing. These men are something else oh
DeleteBother him!!! Pester him. Nag till he puts a standing order of 500k at the bank for you. And tel the school tor reach out to him for school fees directly. So he can pay annually. That’s apart form the monthly money.
Madam your husband is just like my daddy,always impressing people outside.continue to pray he change if not you are on your own.in this day and age where people save he is spending anyhow,the lord is your strength mam.
ReplyDeleteMadam na midnight prayers go settle the whole thing because peradventure he is dropped from that work today na Grace to grass be that.
DeleteWhat manner of man is this?
ReplyDeleteAbi awon Aye put hand for him life when his income increased?
Probably because you’ve been such a good wife handling things at home. Stop paying bills when he slacks!!!!!!! If your daughter sits at home from school for three weeks and you buy take outs for yourself and your daughter and he doesn’t see food at home he’ll get the message. Stand your ground by actions and not words!!!
ReplyDeleteStop taking up the bloody responsibilities and let him see you’re determined to get him to be the man of the house!!!!! You’re unconsciously enabling his misbehiour by being the hero.
It’s difficult because you think you’re saving your home with your actions but please if you don’t nip this now you’ll have greater and worse issues in the future. The future is too uncertain for his misbehavior!
Also have a sit down and properly map out roles and responsibilities. If he doesn’t perform his, close your eyes and let them hang.
He will eat in expensive restaurants if no food at home, he hardly spends time at home so he won't notice f his daughter is driven from school. He is a madman. Everyone should please pray for him.
DeleteThe story just dey vex me...
So she should punish her daughter to prove a point to her husband? To get him to behave? Odiegwu. The child will grow to detest them both.
DeleteI agree. Please leave the responsibilities solely for him. Save your money for the rainy days. He's obviously in a fool's paradise. Make no mistakes, that same company can lay him off in a heartbeat once they find someone who can do his job. And there will always be someone who is better than him. I have seen this happen in the corporate world. Talk to people he will listen to if you can and let him understand that you are not trying to disrespect him in anyway.This is a tough one but may God be with you.
DeleteBianca, from my little experience schools send notifications to parents for fees, news and other activities. When they send reminders to him that he is yet to pay and his daughter is yet to resume he’ll definitely begin to wonder. Honestly, I do hope it’s a psychological issue and not money just bringing out his character. At least with counseling and a proper plan it can be managed.
DeleteAnon, like I said before she will still be feeding her daughter and her stay at home from school is temporary. A few weeks from school won’t really affect a child of 5 or so. From her tone I could sense she takes up financial responsibilities when they’re due so he will never understand the depth of her grievance if she doesn’t back her talk with action.
If he sees she’s on strike and he still goes on not caring then there’s a fundamental problem apart from him being a fritter. At that point she’ll have to start saving seriously for her future and her daughter alone.
Thank you Ivannah. If I had this sort of husband I will just be stealing his money. I'm sure he's not good in hiding his money. It's not even stealing its your money too.
DeleteI would have said stop paying your daughter's school fees but I don't want the poor girl suffering.
Pay your daughter's school fees,feed your child. But don't do jack for the house again. Let the house look scattered. Don't buy nada just take care of your child.
You have to learn to lie madam. Create family problems,create car problems. Anything to squeeze money from him.
This man may even have side chicks that are collecting his money outside is the painful part.
Beds and roses it’s so painful and to use Bianca’s words it’s downright vexing! Let me drop this epistle.
DeleteMy husband HAD a friend similar to this. Whenever he came visiting he’ll dash dollars to everyone in sight. From the maids to the estate guards.
At first I was always anticipating his visits because as the woman of the house my share was always crazy and he was a truly lovely person until we visited his house one Christmas. His house was crudely furnished but his wife and kids looked unhappy and timid. It was so odd.
Because her husband was such a sweet heart I exchanged contacts with her even though she seemed cold. After a while, she broke down and revealed the horrible things this man was doing. He won’t drop a dime if she didn’t write a list of all the things needs for the house and kids even up to her feminine hygiene products. She didn’t even have a car. I was heart broken and angry. This man was such a free giver to outsiders that small girls would flock around him, smile and walk away with money for nothing! Did I mention he is also being investigated for financial manipulations in a big company? Revelations!
The first thing I did was to do a mental calculation of all he had given me and my household and donated it to her. I downloaded the gist to my husband and he was throughly ashamed of his now former friend.
In summary, she’s got her own business running with her really gifted hands. That’s why it’s good to be open sometimes and seek help from responsible confidants. She’s happier, more confident but still with him because to her this is her for better for worse. She still makes her lists to him too. At least if the man should get copped for his shady ways she can reasonably stand on her feet.
My own husband is like poster’s but he doesn’t carry cash!! You can’t steal from some men o!!
DeleteWhy has no one told thos poster to move on and leave this man? She doesnt benefit anything as his wife. So what's the point staying married abeg?
DeleteIf I can’t steal cash, I will steal your phone, even your laptop, it will miss one day from your car and I will make sure it’s when you put it in the car. It must lost. Atleast that one would fetch like 100k. Things will continue getting missing, until he comes home to no tv, he must get his sense back. The day he finally realizes il say I had to pay fees. These men need woman to show them they can also be mad.
DeletePoster just steal one of his phones cus I am very sure he has more than one.
In short park his car in another persons compound and tell him to pay like 2milion naira on it, well my hubby knows I no well, I don’t know about yours, it’s good to show men some of your kolo from time to time
That's his real character, when they don't have money, they are humble, but once money show, ahhhhhh....who u be?
ReplyDeleteThis one nor be real character ni....they are remoting him from village so he doesn't amount to anything. Very soon he will lose d job mysteriously and relocate to the village to farm because that's the end result of this story.
DeleteMadam while midnight prayers are on going, give him sleeping medicine nside his food then ask him his pin before he sleeps off, transfer 700k to ur account.
You have to be wise
You live everyday but die once.
Chaiiii! This advise sweet o @Bianca,but what if it boomerangs?
DeleteWhat boomerang? Enh if he wakes up the money don go be say it don go, tell him to go and call police now, when he doesn’t want to pay fees
DeleteIs it that the money got into his head? Abi he promised to live life once he is out of poverty? That's why they say never trust a broke man, let him see money first then his true colour would spring out.
ReplyDeleteEleyi gidi gan o. I kept saying ahn ahn all through. Don't even know what to advise. Make i follow read comment.
There is an evil hex on ur husband. Try steal his money or find ANY means of getting it cos I see u crying one day and ppl saying u are wicked.
ReplyDeleteVillage people dey dance shaku-shaku for your husband brain. You need to enter fasting & prayers.
ReplyDeleteThis your husband be like say them spoil am & he go fit continue this way ,you need serious & fast solution to this problem. Maybe you should start by not paying your children's school fees, let them stay home for lack of school fees ,if he doesn't keep money for food let the kids stay hungry, make sure he witnesses these things happening that is the only way he can be touched & made to do things.
Maybe you can report to his boss that he doesn't pay school fees or drop foodstuff money. As for the home not furnished you all are going to live in it like that o, don't invite your friends to your home, whenever you have money you can take your kids out to luxury places & have fun. You can maybe tell your trusted relatives like your mom or sister to be begging him money so they can return them to you since he has become everyday father Christmas. I know one person father like this he provides food o, but to furnish house na problem, they lived in unkept apartment for years until their mum was able to furnish.
But what kind of wahala is all these na? The way devil take they attack people marriage na want o. May God help una
Madam, your husband will not change. My father was like that. Till he lost everything. We suffered. My mum paid all our schools bills afterwards. Madam, I advise you find a way to get money from him. I can't tell you what to do. Be very smart. Pray for wisdom. That your husband will not change unless something drastic happens to him then you will start pitying him. Give yourself some smart sense.
ReplyDeleteHmmm!!! You described my ex boyfriend (abi ex fiance that was chasing me with ring and i was running)
ReplyDeleteThis one was better cos he was displaying all these things prior too. Very generous to others!!! abeg i dey wedding. I will update this comment later. Everyone told me I was being extra by leaving 'such a nice' guy 🤣🤣 but na me know wetin my eye dey see.
Madam, i think your hubby has a complex. Was he deprived child growing up? Brb.
Not fiance, you didnt accept the ring.
DeleteMadam, youre taking this lying down, it has gone too far! If anything happens 2mr to him or his job, ure back to square 1. You need to go rogue, its time to improvise.
ReplyDeleteStart stealing from him, yes! I wouldnt advice this on a good day but you need to sell that apple laptop.... you'd realize nothing less than 500k.
Hmmnnnn....
ReplyDeleteStop demanding peanuts ooo, time to launch another business or hustle.I mean something that will eat deep into his pocket and keep a straight face while at it.
I know a man that travelled the world,had over fours cars,had a flourishing business etc presently living in a rented apartment and jumping Keke.When things were ok, he didnt allow his wife be a part of his business neither did he set her up.He also didnt make wise financial investments and in a twinkle of an eye,business went south and he never regained his former financial status.
Peradventure a new management or boss takes over your hubbys office and his appointment terminated or he suffers a permanent disability from accident/occupational hazard( God forbid but life happens), what will you do?Ask him too.
Madam spring into action already since talking is not doing any good.For eg, You can pick up a Life Insurance policy and make him pay the premium.If he is paying one or two million a year as premium he might not feel it but its something.
2)How many kids do you have, do they have accounts? If no,time to open one and make sure you deposit reasonable money monthly.
3) Tell him you want to go into real estate business.You can look for land in Ibeju-lekki and build blocks of flats or bungalow.Or buy old houses and flip.
4)Most importantly find out the best time to present your business/investment plan to him so that he listens.Is it middle of the night? Or when he is in a mood to play/relax or after "fellowship".Talking about a serious issue to someone who already picked his keys to go out/travel won't sink in.Shouting at the top of your voice won't help too.
5)I believe in prayers/miracle.God can soften his heart and make him face your family.Dont stop praying.
6) Be his model:
Let's say you tried everything and it fails, its time to up your game and hustle double for yourself.If you don't have a land and can afford it with your money pls buy it and make a copy and carelessly drop it where he can see it.If you can afford a small car, buy it, get a small car and register with Uber.If you can afford a business or getting a skill pls do.By the time he sees all your effort and success(es) small shame go catch am.
Most guys don't like competition and I believe he drops change because he is feeling like "Bishop of the whole world",let him see that you can triple the one he drops without batting an eyelid and he will be humbled.
I didn't say start picking the house bills ooo,He must take care of his family by fire by force.What I mean is start gathering things for yourself and future.
Go to him with a clear,reasonable plan and if he is adamant we can conclude that his village people are winning.I don't understand how a man in this times and economy won't invest.
You be real epistle gang
Delete🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Delete❤️❤️❤️
DeleteI love this
DeletePoster I think you should send him the link to this post.
ReplyDeleteY live a fake life? Trying to impress who again?
Life is a pattern and that's why there's a word such as history.
That a door that was once shut becomes open today does not mean that it will remain open forever.
This is time for your husband to make huge investments for a sustainable future for himself and his family. Else when this door shuts down again he will become worse than he was before.
And trust human beings na, the very ones he's is enjoying his money now will mock him and turn their back on him while his family cannot even offer him help cuz they cannot help as well.
Poverty will visit him again if he continues this way.
Also, can family meeting on his head that you are tired of the marriage. So that the older ones in the larger family can call him to order.
Poster however you can start making up stories to loot his money too if other options don't work. Please loot and loot for the future of your family, your husband's inclusive. If this works, quietly do those projects you have been suggesting to him.
It could be an arranged biz deal/plan to ensure you sha loot.
Cuz the way your husband is going, every single one of you will go down with him if something doesn't change.
Since he gives to outsiders triple of whatever they demand. Can you get someone trustworthy to help you get out enough money from him and save. Maybe your trusted friend can ask from him and give you the money or a family member. May God help you
ReplyDeleteYou just described a typical sanguine up there poster,they like to show off and outsiders would think insiders are enjoying but the opposite is the case. Sanguines are lively people but very challenging to manage in marriage.
ReplyDeleteHis dream is bigger than yours, and you don’t understand his grace. Calm down and learn and stop complaining. You will even complain yourself out of grace, which you have done already.
ReplyDeleteYou probably complain too much that he doesn’t bother explaining things to you.
I made a vow when I was broke and penniless,when I became rich, I lived on that vow but my family complained just like you. They didn’t know what I went through, when I didn’t even have food or tfare. How I was harassed till I challenged God.
See ehn even my brother, sometimes I wonder if the wife is complaining too, cos my brother is exactly like your husband, but that his open hands is the secret to his wealth.
We go through so much in this life before we hammer and some of the things we went through and some secret prayers and cry’s we made form the kind of life we live. You women come in when things have even improved and then watch ya hammer and start complaining.
If he is so wasteful, why is he still getting the contracts?
If you are so wise, why aren’t you making the money?
If he is so used by ‘his village’ people like you people suggested why is he still waxing stronger?
Please go and talk to your husband and understand his reasons and then back him and also play your role in his vision.
I made a vow that I will never be too rich to give and that I will never leave a homeless graduate outside, when I made it they started complaining how people are using, how the people I’m housing are manipulating, how the people I’m giving are ‘outsiders’ and are jazzing me. They are jazzing me and I’m waxing stronger?
Please women should enjoy comfort they don’t know the source of but don’t pretend you can control how one lives their life when you don’t know their vow
You are the poster child of foolishness.
DeleteYou are actually mad.
DeleteYou are suffering from poverty mentality Uncle 16:22
DeleteI hope you have not abandoned your (first line of duty) responsibility to your wife and kids just to live a fake life simply becoz you prefer praises of humans over the future of your kids.
BTW hope all your kids are already/going to be graduates also.
Be there making vow like you can do greater than Jesus Christ did for the world.
The contracts are coming now becoz it is time and chance.
Someday it will cease from being so whether you like it or not. Then you will be forced to rely on alternate sources of income that's if you created any.
The funny this is that so many men have towed this path and later on became paupers.
May wisdom fall on you.
As you lay your bed so you must lie on it.
Actually I’m at from a very rich home but I made a vow that I will make it in life without family money, hence my experience with poverty and struggles.
DeleteEach mans vow and struggle is different and I won’t end up poor neither will this players husband, he is planing to buy a house, you people advising and calling him stupid haven’t made a million naira before. It’s not by saving you get rich, he has his principles that work for him, so does every made man.
Poster go and talk to your husband and understand his vision and plan and align with it.
His expensive car might be his package for getting future contracts, but I won’t talk more cos some of you think everybody is chasing 100k.
I remember also when I bought my first car, my friends that were feeling wise said I was foolish that I should have bought land in some bush in nasarawa and wait for years for it to grow I refused, I bought a car, that car alone helped my packaging when I went for meetings and it ends and everyone is leaving. We size each other up based on address, car etc and decide who is worth doing business with. But like I said most of you are too broke to comprehend.
DeleteThe money she doesn’t know the source she wants to control lol...keep dreaming
Uncle you are talking but you have not addressed the most important issue here, which is whether or not you have put in same effort to uplift and please your wife and kids.
DeleteYour millions is another man's daily profit so calm down.
Uncle, you are the most useless, foolish, k-legged fool that has ever commented on this blog. Geez!!!!
DeleteYou should be stoned
Broda story teller, did you read the chronicle well like This? Abi which opata are you yarning here. Vow to be generous to outsiders but stingy to your wife and child?? Shift from here jare
DeleteThis one na pure ode.
DeleteI pity you.
Shugagirl please leave this anonymous to his unreasonable thoughts.
DeleteMr Man, I repeat you are actually mad. Yarning absolute trash talking about principles and vision. Retarded
DeleteAnon 16:22 may God humble you for the thrash you just spewed!!! A man that won’t look after his family is worse than an infidel. Your first calling for service is your wife and children and who says your money is yours? Why did you get married then? Biko swerve!!
DeleteI repeat, you’re the poster child of foolishness. I would have asked you to reread the chronicle and comprehend but it’s obvious your brain processing power is at 160 words or less.
DeleteDisgusting!
Seriously, this one weak me.
DeleteAbi what else is the meaning of witchcraft/wickedness? Or na low self esteem be the problem here?
Even so to the family you started by yourself. SMH
Some men be hustling for validation from people who matter the least.
Madam think fast on how to collect money from him before it is too late. Think of anything that will make u to get money from him every month.
ReplyDeleteMadam pray,pray and keep praying. Something is wrong somewhere.
ReplyDeleteHe is just acting like someone that got money through jazz.
This is really pathetic, his type won't learn until he lost everything.
ReplyDeleteHaba what kind of a man works hard and spend that hard earned money extravagantly. Pls just keep saving the little you have that can sustain you and your daughter because even his family won't be able to help in this kind of situation. And let them know what is going on all the time so that when things aren't rosy again, they will surely remember you told them.
Pls pray and pray because its not normal. I don't even know what to say again.
MADAM I'm shouting now o pls pray yes pray and pray until you see the desired change.
ReplyDeleteVisit a believing church not babalawo church I beg you,that your husband eeh they have made you his enemy yes you heard right he will always give you peanut until you do something.
I was in your shoes and he is someone who doesn't believed in spiritual things but I knew something was wrong, ( if your instinct is telling you something madam pls believe).
I visited a prayer house we started with a seven days fast,we were praying in water and Goya oil, which I made sure to make his meal with it and I added the oil to his lotion.
The prayer continued and I'm still praying, this life is so spiritual and the spiritual controls the physical.
My husband is a changed man now to Gods glory and infact he saves in my account so as not to spend lavishly.
I don tire to type, act fast.
Poster are we married to the same man, this is just my husband , to give me upkeep money Na war, I need to remind him per second but when it comes to showing off , he will donate 1m to church, support his friends wedding with 100k his friends father's burial with 1cow pegged at 150k but to give me money Na war and if I complain he does it this week and forgets next week, gosh where did we get these men from
ReplyDeleteCall a family meeting with his parents at your house and lay down everything as you have done here. If he still won't listen, uouy next option is to let him know you will divorce him and become one of the outsiders so you can finally enjoy him. A Naija court will put a wealthy man on child support . Also be careful and think we'll. He may be trying to frustrate you to leave.
ReplyDeleteNouveau riche.
ReplyDeleteNa their way
Stella thank you for posting. Thanks everyone for your comment. I am really greatful.
ReplyDeleteMartins Aboy I am interested in your comment, because taking his money to save on our behalf is not stealing, just that he doesn't even stay around for me to think of taking it.
Pls help me Abeg, you can contact me thanks
Madam don't you know your husband's weakness. Is it sex or when is it. The best time I ask my husband for something is after sex. Then he is in the best mood. You just have to find a way to be collecting money from this man. Don't feel shy or anything. Don't give up on reminding him daily. I know it's annoying but you don't have a choice.
DeleteMadam move out. That will wake him up, stop living in a fool's land
DeleteThis exactly was what happened to my husband when he had this contract job with the state government. He spends like he's da Rocha,now that there's nothing ask me where are those friends that are living with him. Infact there's a particular one he paid for his master's,whenever he calls that one he'll give excuses,the only investment he had is the land he bought then and the last time he went visiting the place,some was already building on it. Abeg the Tori long. All these happened while we were dating,I wish he had opened up to me,pr probab I'd have done something or taken a hike because I hate where I'm presently
ReplyDeletePoster if there's a way you can lay your hand on his money take plenty and make yourself happy and leave in his dreamland
Make I sit down read comments..... this one is serious....
ReplyDeletePoster let me mansplain to you before I read comments... You see, what your man is going through, is called immaturity. It's not his fault but rather, lack of experience. Look, most guys have been through this stage; a lot of them, during their bachelor days. This is why it is important to marry someone who is experience on how cruel the world can be. Me as an example, I used to derive joy in helping people. I enjoy being the spender all the time. I did more for people who didn't deserve it but I was left to rot during the difficult times. Now I have learnt my lessons and when God blessed me, I knew where to spend my money and people who deserve it. Don't worry keep encouraging him. He will learn a good lesson soon and he will come back to his senses. In the main time, starting maintaining yourself, don't let yourself go with stress because with his new found money, dangerous women will be lurking around. You don't want to be that nagging wife who don't know how to have fun. Start giving him slight attitude of I don't give a damn. Make him start thinking you have expensive taste. Don't beg mind you, demand with I don't care attitude and if he doesn't give you, find how to get it and casually flaunt it in his face. Do it subliminally. Men like him needs a challenge every time. It motivates them. If he sees you as a challenge, then he's interested. Compliment men who gives to their wives in front of him. Raise your expectations and bills. Your bills are too small for him to care about hence the reason he casually don't care because to him it's chicken change. Change your kids school to a higher school in Ikoyi and get to know his colleagues and their wives. This is a crucial stage that you need to micro manage. Don't fight because you will push him away. He's village people are not the reason. He's just going through his time. He will come out of it but hopefully no lasting damage. Good luck dear
ReplyDeleteMakoko, God bless you for this advice. I am also like the poster in this situation. Me thoug, I’ve come to so hate my husband cos this has gone on for 15 years of marriage. The guy is a ‘street angel, house demon’. How do I patiently wait for him to change when my spirit is vexed! His family are not helping either cos they see him as their cash cow. Some men never grow up!
DeletePoster, this is the only sensible advice here. Instead of you to ask for money for jewellery, you're being modest.
DeleteTake this advice, poster!
DeletePoster you need to change your tactics, you have been too soft on him and that has been one of the reasons he is acting this way, if he drops 10 for food, never you manage that money or pity him, increase your list on the things you want in the house. Stop supporting him at home, stop paying your child’s school fees, I know is hard to do but please you need to apply wisdom else you alone will suffer it. Ignore him with the way he is spending but do not stop from praying for him, change your child’s school to a more expensive school, have a heart to heart talk with him over that, tell him your baby need a better class of school so that she ca fit into his friends kids in the head office. You should start demanding money from him, save,save and always save should Incase things go south.
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...Makoko,you're lucky that you got a second chance. My father never got a second chance. Apart from doing everything that the poster's husband is doing, my father openly spent on other women, married some of them and even brought pictures to the house. When confronted, he lied that the pictures were from a movie he featured in. Imagine! My siblings and I had to drop out of private primary schools and continue with not-so-great public schools. On top of everything he forbade my mother from working......his reasons were that other men would see and start following her. It was hard to steal from him gan, cos he would return home only after he has finished spending everything penny he got paid. His own wickedness was coupled with excessive drinking too.. Too many painful stories mehn.
ReplyDeletePoster, just try to go to his booses and get them to split his salary with you before anything even enters his account. You can get the principal of your child's school to help back up your claim that your husband doesn't pay fees on time...among other things. Employers usually want staff that are responsible both inside and outside. May God continue to strengthen you ma.
If I'm married to such an idiot as this God forgive me I WILL GO DIABOLICAL!!!! you know how when you stare at a man eyeball to eyeball and say one word of request..HE BRINGS ALL HIS MONEY.how can you sit and watch idiots eating your money madam? Go and do touch and follow or buy the one eye hand band or necklace.if it doesn't work go to his office wearing rags with your daughter looking unkempt and disgrace him.
ReplyDelete😂😄😅😆🙌
DeleteBut them say the patient dog eats the fattest bone. (Yinmu)🙏😂
madam have you prayed for him instead of just complaining. the enemy, the devil wants to make him labor in vain. pls pray for him
ReplyDelete