Actress Nse Ikpe Etim has taken to Instagram to ask people to respect the privacy of women who are battling with infertility or the ones that have chosen not to have children.
Awwwwwwwww..............................
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
Actress Nse Ikpe Etim Says All Women Cannot Be Mothers....
Actress Nse Ikpe Etim has taken to Instagram to ask people to respect the privacy of women who are battling with infertility or the ones that have chosen not to have children.
73 comments:
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People can't just mind their own business. The moment you get married, they expect you to get pregnant. When it delays, they put you under pressure. It's worse when you marry a first son or only son.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteNse mbok Shout it. Her last paragraph is key to living a fulfilled life.
DeleteWe see people from the outside and judge them without knowing their struggles.
Alot of women struggle with endometriosis but very few know or even talk about the challenges.
I sympathies with whatever she is going tru but let's take a Very Good Look At My Points ,devoid of any judgements PLS I beg una
DeleteShe was HOT, Smart and single , dated her boyfriend now husband, he left for greener pastures, got married had kids right? At least I read where she wrote about there love story and how she blved d guy was her's and she waited 4 him...
NSE wld have had a baby wen her boyfriend left, but d FEAR of society tagging her 'Baby mama' and losing d guys Trust made her probably not to....
Today she has kids alright but Step-kids from d guy which she has refused to acknowledge unlike Funke Akindele
This goes to show we women shd wise up, last last Man will do what man wants to do( marry ,if possible more than one sef and bread kids) while we ladies r doing Saint Nwausu avoiding being ' Tagged' and then reaching menopause....
Am not condemning her but am looking at d situation 4m a broad perspective, a typical Yoruba ( I love dis tribe) will BORN her pikin, wetin! She go born keep am one side and continue rocking life!! She lose anything if sugar boy comes back for marriage? The ans is NO!!!
We begin to sound like oyibo wen we can't attain what we truly and secretly desire, 80% of Nija babes wants a baby.....
I listened to a friend, although we r not friends again but I keep saying silent prayers for her ,let God meet her heart desire anything it is... She spoke and I listened, having a child out of wedlock is no crime, so long as u can care for d baby, I listened had my baby and today I have a different suitor who is ready to adopt my child!!!!!
That child u r running away from having, may b d key to ur getting married! Our destiny's r not SAME in dis life, just do what your HEART tells u is right with Gods guidance and protection, u never know, IVF dey cost oooo!
Am not shading or trying to undermine her choice, this is an open advice, u can insult me well well if u like, but hey, its freedom of speech!!!
Its freedom of speech that is wine she shouldnt even put your mouth in her discussion. Worry about yourself first uou hear.
DeleteGush people worry about others thst are better than them...
DeleteAnd you think you are better than her because????you seriously contradicted yourself by saying we all have different destinies in one breath and still condemning her for waiting for her man.. .beaides,how do you know she's menopausal?you are a typical Nigerian....judgemental and always minding other people's business!
DeleteLook at the Rubbish that this anonymous is spewing. Hypocrite. You're talking about God's guidance, if you want to follow God's ways, you have no business having sex outside marriage. You did the one in your mind, and now you're coming here to talk Rubbish In the name of "my opinion". Thank God say God no be man and he is merciful! Shut the hell up and let others follow their own choices instead of this crap you came to spread!
DeleteStella abeg post o, because some people annoy me. Because your misguided choices worked for you, you now want to use it as yardstick to judge other people. Arrant nonsense!
Some women have been cursed by people they abused. I saw a friend in my dream in 2015, a woman placed curses on her,that she will manage to get pregnant but will keep aborting.. 22;37/2239... Y hide ur pains and bitterness in public to pretend but wet pillow 4 9t and act Feminist outside?
Delete22;39 same as 22;37 . pls what did u write? People with '''i Better Pass u mentality''''. Your type is just loud, no content. Empty,I can't even comprehend ur jargon, my 5yrs old son shd school you, Daft illiterate looking for who to marry but no one wants your type,only good for 4k and pay or do favours for, hence d support for ' I don't want baby' after una go don abort finish or destroyed ur wombs .hissssss
DeleteAnon u are on Point! NSE is a pretender ! NSE same u that was dating my present Husband?.. In 2010/2013 ? Got pregnant and aborted cos u found out about me? Home wrecker! My man was too strong for all ur rubbish, Today u are in social media crying u don't want baby? Liar!!!!! Don't let me expose u further o! Social media where everybody is a chameleon. Nonsense
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ReplyDeleteWord
ReplyDeleteLouder!!!
ReplyDelete.....in this world of world people??? How you wan take know peace? Even if its your choice, after the torment & pressure, only you go change that idea.
ReplyDeleteThis is Africa oh, nothing like i want to get married & remain happy with my husband & no kids *yimu*... is his mother & father dead?
Even if the man's parents are dead, are his relatives dead? If the answer is no then prepare for war, most especially Yoruba people.
DeleteNot every family is like that....my husbands brother and his wife have been married 10 years and no child....not even one person from his family bother them....
DeleteMost of u talking here r not capable of having kids, face d truth and stop hiding to abuse anon. This i s NIGERIA
DeleteMy dear I can understand not having husband but purposely not wanting to be a mother is selfishness and akuna ga ebe akwa Nwa na una nka! In fact if you're above fifty without a child I will advice you adopt,try ivf,surrogate anything just try.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteSelfishness how?? Please explain
DeleteIt's not necessarily selfishness, some are unable to birth due to female factors while some know that deep down they don't have what it takes to be a responsible mother. What's the essence of birthing children you can't raise properly. I know of a Caucasian couple that don't have kids yet, the woman told me she is scared of children and feels she will be a lousy mother so she doesn't want to bring a child she can't be 100% there for into the world. Her husband loves kids but he understands her fears.
DeleteSome people had a traumatic childhood that makes them dread having children.
Fan you should try not judging people so harshly.
DeleteSome women have very traumatic childhood, some have panic attacks imagining themselves as mothers and feel they will make terrible mothers, some simply don't want (Oprah, Jeanie Mai)...the same way some people love coffee and detest alcohol. Stop shaming people because of their life choices and that prostitute terminology is all shades of wrong.
Nobody can take better care of u more than ur offspring in Most cases. The Bible stated it, go into d World and Multiply!!!!!
DeleteThis is Africa, Caucasian have HOMES were dey r well taken care of at old age o
If d reverse is d case, assuming she got married early and cld reproduce, wld she b saying this? NO!!!! Let's not use words to confuse pple wen we can't achieve our desires! Its not working for her and she has chosen to b happy instead of Stressed! Don't mk it sound like she never wanted kids! There is an under tone in DAT write up, read again, especially where she listed d challenges.
NSE is an extremely smart lady, wen she writes, its like a professor is writing, u will need wisdom to really understand otherwise u misunderstand her point
@anon 17:30,I am 24 years old. I don't want kids. It's your type that would accuse me in the next 20 years of saying I don't want kids because I can't have. In reality I'm not cut out for motherhood at all. Oh yes, I am Nigerian. Now because of this I wouldn't be marrying until late 30s maybe early 40s and then y'all would start coming with your daft advise and assumptions on why I should have kids and why I don'thave. Why should I have kids so I can be taken care of in old age? What happened to retirement savings plans and the likes? Who told you whatever hypothetical child would be there for me in old age? The truth is that there is no rationale to having kids, none at all. Exspecially taking into consideration that most Nigerians have 3 to 4, my hypothetical offspring like most of your offsprings wouldn't do much for the world. Not every woman wants to breed. Some find joy and fulfillment in others things other than their reproductive capabilities. Again, our population is exploding so I would be doing all of us a lot of good by not living up to my reproductive capabilities.
DeleteHow hard is it to comprehend that there are people who do it just want kids. They don’t want. Simples! No maternal instinct, none
DeleteI think the selfishness is having kids just because the society expects you to. That’s why there are too many bad mothers in this country. People who have no business having children. Or the ones who have them as insurance for the future, just so they have people take care of them in old age; as if we have not seen kids who abandon their parents in old age.
Woman, you are valid. I am a mother of 2 whom I love totally. Motherhood has taught me patience, humility and selfless love..but having kids isn’t a joke. You have a bundle
Put in your arms, clean, pure, empty and you have to fill it up. You have to groom, nurture, love unconditionally, teach right from wrong, teach love, tolerance, Grace...
Motherhood to me is by far more difficult than marriage. It is a higher responsibility, not to be taken lightly. That’s why when I had these 2, I decided I do not want again so we can live Tyne kind of life I had always envisioned for us as a family..
And we try... but I probably would’ve gone farther, traveled wider, achieves more if I wasn’t a mother.
Do I regret; never! Cos they are my greatest joys. But there are women who do not feel that way...
And their feeling is also valid! We are too different to be the same, too diverse to want to be the same. Let women live the lives they want, abeg.
Anonymous 4:09 aptly put, I cannot agree less!Motherhood is like parenting, most underrated professions in the world.
DeleteMotherhood is no walk in the park, one has to be intentional, grounded in selflove, financially capable, psychologically ready, available and sound....the list is endless. All these is not only to bring to the world children in the name of having them to take care of us in the future but for the future to be pleased with what contributions
Olusweets
@21;58 ur mumu no b here o.
DeleteLove and light to you Nse
ReplyDeleteThe pressure seems to be growing daily, even a healthy womb will be scared out of xray eyes poking & cause delay.
ReplyDeleteWorld ppl pls take it easy!
Lol
Delete*sighs*
DeleteWord
ReplyDeleteI awwwww with you Stella, she made excess sense, this is a call to everyone to be more sensitive and discrete with our choice of words especially in the presence of women who are TTC. I sincerely pray for all TTC's, may God in his infinite goodness hear your cry and bless u with your own children ,Amen
ReplyDeleteAmen, May God bless them all
DeleteAmen in Jesus name
DeleteAmen
DeleteAmen
DeleteAmen
DeleteAmen
DeleteO.k..I've heard you ma.
ReplyDeletewhile some women are good at flushing and shooting
ReplyDeleteIt is well...
ReplyDeleteThen is best to say not every woman or man is destined to marry...Right from creation God has destined every woman to be a mother ,if not no need for a womb ...Madam you are very wrong on this one.
ReplyDeleteDo you know that some women are born without womb. Research.
DeleteYou dey mind her? Seems she wants to trend
DeleteSo the people who were born blind, why the eyes na? God for kuku use skin cover the place na.
DeleteReason with your sense.
If you don't have sense, borrow.
This type of mentality thrives in Africa alone, that's why women are put under unnecessary pressure.
DeleteYes we have a mandate from God to procreate. But that same God gave every human the right to make a choice, He doesn't force His will down your throat. If you don't feel like being a mother, He won't send you to hell. And who even said someone can't be or play the role of a mother to children she didn't give birth.
Your Rev fathers and sisters aren’t they human? Created by God? Who DECIDED not to have kids? How is their decision more valid than that of a random woman or man?
DeletePeople be showing their stupidity outside!!!
ReplyDeleteIn Nigeria ,such wishes will be frustrated out of your life
kids are good. if you cant have them naturally and you have the money , look for surrogate or adopt. they will be there when you get old to take care of you and visit and pamper you
ReplyDeleteDon't be so sure, some kids grow up to torment their parent. Where I work, there is this nanny, she has only a son but her son is her source of sorrow. We were told today that the boy was butchered into piece. This woman has been crying nonstop.
DeleteLet's pray God leads our life sometimes life doesn't turn out how we planned.
DeleteWell Said!!!!!!!
Delete👍👍
ReplyDeleteOn point..
ReplyDeleteOk. But this one she has become an OIP (on instagram personality) no be here.
ReplyDeleteSame way you be OBP(on blog personality)
DeleteNse can do no wrong in my eyes
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with her!
ReplyDeleteI think women who decide not to have children are very very brave. They are selfish in a good way because they understand the sacrifice that comes with children.
I have a child who I love dearly but if I had a choice and knowing what I know now,, I would not have bothered
Having kids totally totally change your lifestyle, 360% and not in a fun way.
I really admire women who are resolute and choose not to have kids!
It's women like you who annoy me.
DeleteOf course kids change your life 400%! What were you expecting when you got pregnant? That you could continue living a life devoid of responsibilities?
Yes, being a mom is hard!! The hardest thing in the world! So I agree with Nse that not every woman is meant to have kids. And I respect women who chose not to.
But for God's sake, your child didn't ask to be born. As long as you gave birth, you MADE the decision to be a mother.
And honestly, you sound resentful of the fact that you've had to make sacrifices as a mother. If I'm right and that's truly how you feel, then you are not equipped for parenting. Maybe giving up your child for adoption would've been the greatest thing you did for him or her.
I agree that women WHO DECIDE they don’t want kids are brave and I totally agree with Anon 20:02 on the way you sound.
DeleteBut im gonna show a little kindness, maybe the Anon up there is struggling. It is allowed to show your frustration but please find someone to talk to. Motherhood is hard but you should not be resentful of your child.
This is the reason we have screaming mothers in Naija everywhere; finaidng faults, always scolding the kids, never happy.
Find little ways to relax, mani/pedi, a weekend at the spa, a day at a hotel, or even lock your door and stay in for a couple hours.
Anon 20.02,you need to shut the fuck up....seriously!
DeleteGod grant you your heart desires.
ReplyDeleteThis advice is for oyibo people and not for nija people.
ReplyDeleteYou don't expect MIL not to carry her grand children.
We are all praying for those that are ttcing and I know God is not asleep on their cases.
Good luck to all our women. Be strong. Be courageous and God will give you joy for all the pains
I had a baby last year July and womb watchers are already on my case, a male boss asked me last week if I want my baby to enter university before I consider having another baby? If I am going through such torment, I wonder how it is for women that have been married for years without kids yet..my prayer is for GOD to answer every one believing GOD for life partners and babies, source of income inclusive(miracle jobs).Shalom
ReplyDeleteThis kind Stori I dnt choke mouth o, Iya boys biko bring Us Chimeghan AKA Ogenemeghan gist...kisses
ReplyDeleteNse God will open your womb
ReplyDeleteWhen is God’s time babies will flow.
ReplyDeleteLet Women breath abeg
ReplyDeleteNo woman should stress herself out about this. Many have gone before and have children and who remember their name today. Nothing is ever as important as we make it out to be in any lifetime. It's only in our heads that we think anything is important. How many of our lives will be remembered in 200 yrs? The vast majority of our lives will hold no record on earth, nobody will care if we married or had children just as we don't give a care today about all the lives that have gone ahead of us. Again, nothing in our life is ever as important as we think it is. Live your life and enjoy it, because in 500yrs nobody will remember you ever existed or care about how you lived
ReplyDeletePerspective!
DeleteAll is well Nse,as long as you know your story never mind pple...
Delete