Some peoples lives have changed for the better or for the worse by employing any or all of these three......
We have heard cases of people being killed or poisoned by any of them....
Some people hire them and treat them badly and they revenge,some people hire them and treat them like family and it sometimes back fires or ends up well.
What are the things to look out for when employing a house help,a nanny or a cook?.. What is the correct way to handle them?
Should a CCTV be put in the house to watch them?
When going on vacation,do you take them along or leave them at home?
Do you have a good or bad story to tell about employing them?Should they be trusted?I mean they handle your house,kids and food!
I just remembered a girl that my mom brought from the village to live with us. This girl will just go to my box to bring any of my clothes that she likes and wear. She kept changing my clothes like it's hers and when ever I complain she will be like sister you have many nau😁.. She said was using my things like hers until she got married and left.
ReplyDeleteYou try sha.
DeleteIf you were doing the work of a child in the house, why should mama go to your village and bring someone?
DeleteWhat really were you doing with your time?
Smfh@anon 14:15..poverty mentality. What is the work of a child? There is nothing like the work of a child.The good thind is, one unemployed is now employed. A lot of people hire people to work in their homes abroad and nobody thinks for a second about their kids sef. If her mom can afford that luxury, so be it...
Delete@14:29
DeleteSo why is she complaining that "luxury" is wearing her clothes?
@Anonymous 14:29
DeleteEvery time you will be screaming about how they do it "abroad" as if that is the standard for morality.
Anon even in the bible there are slave and labourers,even Jesu's talked about workers. Maybe u are a helper so I can feel ur pain but its no one's fault okay,the children of the master's are not the same as that of the slaves,they don't need to do any chores.
DeleteBut why should a fullboobied, fulltotohed woman hire another woman to begin dey cook for her husband; no be free tohtoh for the horseband be dat?
ReplyDeleteNa laziness o. That's all.
Women clean una house, cook for ya husband and kids. Make you no go carry ya hand harvest trouble come scatter good home.
you people will just be spewing trash, if you haven't worn the shoes don't talk. not all women are lazy. you think it's easy to be a working class mum and also run the home? Until a woman dies on top work, that's when you will know she's hard working I guess
DeleteTalk is cheap until u have kids who r totally reliable on u, while u hardly have time for yourself and always tired in d oza room. Oga will still wander out. I'm not against a nanny. I become an FBI when I want to get one. I can not kill myself with kids stress and house keeping when I can afford someone who will do it. I don't care what oga does. I'm talking about myself here and my kids. When d stress kills me, oga will still remarry. So what's d point?
DeleteHow about a woman living alone with her husband, no kids and still hire all those cook, cleaner, sweeper, etc.
DeleteWhat a hardworking lady indeed.
Smh! I’m sure you are the advocate of that maggi advert!
Delete@14.26 women don’t have to suffer or do any work if they don’t want to. It’s not our job on earth to suffer or serve. Get over it and get over yourself. If it means we’re lazy then so be it. We don’t want your approval dear
Delete@Anonymous 15:41
DeleteThere is no 14:26, anger no gree you look well?
Na so anger dey cover your reasoning?
Take it easy, you are not the spokeswoman of women and I am not either.
For the first 3 years of our marriage I refused my mum in laws suggestions of us getting a maid. It was just the 2 of us plus I knew she wanted to plant a spy in our house as the woman na aproko. And we like loud sex and weed so no way.
DeleteOn the contrary, your husband is the free dick wandering up and down..if a woman chooses to kill herself with house chores because she has a dog for a husband....goodluck to her...the maid is not your problem,your promiscious husband is the problem!
DeleteOnly, God bless you! I was just coming to say this. It is not a woman’s duty to police a man, a man is responsible for his actions and a dog will be a dog, no matter what you do. Let women live!!!
DeleteOnce another women starts serving your husband food, she is food for him. If you want to experiment, go ahead!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
Deleteso dumb. And when the woman is doing all the work because her selfish husband doesn’t help out at home her husband will go out and cheat. Upon all the submission no nanny diet endurance etc Nigerian men are still cheating. Wasn’t it on this blog that a woman didn’t have a nanny and the husband slept with their neighbors nanny and even got her pregnant. Rubbish
Delete@Anonymous 14:37
DeleteWow, wetin do you so?
Na "cheating Nigerian men" dey write all those anonymous night posts?
Don't let all of the women stone you on this blog ooo.
Story for the gods. Let the horseband go ahead na. Somebody will now bend over backwards and kill herself untop a fellow human being. Mtscheew. Like it's the end of the world.
DeleteWhen I get married no one will cook for me not because I don’t want her to turn food for the husband but because I can’t stand people cooking for me except my mom, aunt and sisters. Other chores? Omo if I can afford it, I won’t do those.
DeleteSome of these ladies will be at home, they are not working, yet they will hire all of the above. All they do is to wake up in the morning and gossip till sunset on social media. Do "madcure", sew fake hair, fake nyansh, put feathers on their eye shadows, use paint finish work come dey upload pictures on IG and be ready to attack anyone that calls them masquerade. Wetin again you go call that thing na? Husband go return from work begin wonder whether winch don enter house kill im wife disappear her body?
ReplyDelete😆🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHahahahahha you is a CASE..
DeleteMy dear people like you are usually poor, what are my saying all your write up ricks of poverty. My dear if you like work o, no buy washing machine, sweep duplex from top to bottom, wash toilet, cook efor from morning till night till u begin smell ewedu my dear your husband dey dey give one housemaid all him money. Na your type dey use hand tk wash cloth, iron, madam hard working virtuous wife. Get out of here men! With ya poverty stinking mentality dey criticise other wives wey their husband dey pamper.
DeleteNooo go and tell Meghan wey marry prince Harry make she come cook. Your poverty and sense of entitlement is just annoying. You think it's all men that admire your type Mrs hard worker mey housemaid.
DeleteSo you did not even see Meghan cooking within the last two weeks?
DeleteAnd when did Meghan become the standard of wife morality?
Not a fan of househelp, nanny or cook
ReplyDeleteGod give me the strength to take care of my home
Had same mindset, but situation humbled me
DeleteBbjac. Stop talking too much. When they wear d shoes, they will understand. At this point in my life, I cannot kill myself cuz I want to tame a man. A MAN!!! Mba nu
DeleteThank you o Jules. After all the sacrificial giving and working themselves to death, a lot of these men still wander about. So what's the point? Just do you!! Ama enjoy this one life I've got.
DeleteWhen you get married and have a family. No way you won't need help. Who will stay with the child after a school before you close.
DeleteI remember I never wanted help. I was doing great till I started having babies. Omo, I almost lost it. Now I have nanny, housekeeper, gardener, security. And no I’m not lazy. Until you’ve walked in those shoes don’t judge. I can’t come and die because I want to do it all. In a 5 bedroom and bathroom duplex, I cannot please.
DeleteIf you must have an househelp ,I suggest you install a CCTV if you can afford one. That way you will know what goes on in your absence .
ReplyDeleteSocialmediaawardsng
To vote @stelladimokokorkus as BLOGGER OF THE YEAR
Text sma18 stella to 33352
You can never be too careful when it comes to these things. Don't get too comfy or over familiar, it might or might not breed contempt. Those days when my mom took helps, they don't cook, their sole job is to keep d house clean, wash n run errands, by 5pm, they close n go home...and they come with their food cos an hour is spared for break.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I can ever allow any paid help live with me. I've heard enough Stories and I don't want any "I wish I knew " regret. My only worry is how long I'll have to take care of them before I make something out of my life as well. I keep wondering the kind of job I can do to give me time to make money and also take adequate care of the home front.
ReplyDeleteI have oooooo,and she is treating my kids well, i try to treat her like my own sis.she is a fast learner....my kids thinks she is their elder sis.so we have been living like that
ReplyDeleteLucky you, lucky help.
DeleteHelps now that are so sexually active, leave them with your kids and they ruin your home.
ReplyDeleteA lot of damaged kids today helps made them so. Abi is it the ones that are possessed or your hubby looking their side.
Pray for strength to take care of your home till your kids grow up to start helping. The days are evil.
Where una de see this una "hubby" marry sef.
DeleteI no even sabi Bonita dey as sensible as this.
DeleteAnon 14:46, I tire for them ooo.Always scared of somebody snatching their husband.as if their husband Na handbags.Mk una sha no get hypertension,depression,over protecting and covering ya husbands wey gada community prick from nanny,housemaid,Sisi eko,Amaka,Zainab ati gbogbotigbo.Shior
DeleteI don't think one can be too careful if the devil decides to use your maid to torment you..
ReplyDeleteAll you need to be prayerful and pray or deliver them before you bring them into your home and care for them like family
I was never a fan of helps, but after my second baby the whole thing changed, you will have sleepless nights,still get up early to prepare for school runs, cook and also go to work, come back fagged out, attend to the baby, wash uniform, prepare dinner Haba person go break down na. Had to beg mumsy to get help for me. In as much as I take her as my younger one, there's a limit to what she can do for me, just do the washing, keep the house clean and watch after the kids when I'm at work and leave the rest to me. Not all women are lazy, in all these it's only God that protects.
ReplyDeleteHaba anty, after washing, and keeping the house clean and looking after ur kids, what “rest” are you tlkn abt? Except by “the rest” she shud leave for u u mean husband duties. In all m saying she is the one basically running ur home.
DeleteKeep quiet there anon 16.39 you think it's easy to work and still run a home. She means she does her own cooking probably. You think running a home is just about cleaning and looking after kids. There is still so much you will do even with having a help.
DeleteDon’t mind that anon. Their type are the ones with dirty homes and buying mamaput for their kids. Talking about what remains. Nonsense.
DeleteNannies are mean to be luxuries for the rich but because housework is seen as solely the woman’s work unfortunately, labour is shared between the woman and often another woman, sometimes a man. That’s why it’s important for men to share in domestic work equally because women are equally working and contributing financially, sometimes even more than the man. Help shouldn’t be underpaid and underaged, they should be treated as humans and equals. People should also be raised to not be entitled or envy the rich which will curb instances of theft or worse by the help. A lot of negative Nigerian mentalities contribute towards the often unpleasant experience of having help in Nigeria. We’re socialised to be wicked which is causing a lot of problems in Nigeria- everyone is looking for how they can victimise the next person. Men victimise women who victimise less powerful women who victimise their children who victimise other children and the cycle continues. Hopefully things get better
ReplyDeleteGreat contribution 👌👌👌
DeleteI have a good nanny and I pray she does not change.She does not live with me she comes by 7 30 and leaves by 6pm.Her duties are cleaning,washing and when I picked my son from school to tender to him.God really sent that girl to me because it is close to two years and we hardly have an altercation she obeys and does her job dutifully.My house is too neat and is the first thing you notice once you step in despite having an active toddler.I am planning on going for my PhD I pray she accepts to follow me.Have never met someone that does her work with so much zeal and compassion.God bless you my girl.
ReplyDeleteYou see your slave timing? 7:30am to 6:00pm. I hope your husband stays in the house from 5:59pm to 7:29 am before you finish phd come
Deletebecome Nanny for ya own house, dey nanny ya own step kids.
You are foolish anon17.54 what are you even saying. How is 7.30 to 6pm slave time ? I work in my office from 8-8pm most times.
DeleteI'm not even the anon but I found your comment silly.
No one told you not to be able to afford a maid. It is even obvious she treats the girl very well.
@19:47
DeleteWhy you dey drink panadol for another perisn headache?
So affording a maid is you definition of status symbol?
Congrats get-maid celebrity.
@Anon 14:53
DeleteI couldn't help but smile after reading your post. I'm sure you must be a very nice person for the nanny to have stayed for that long without any issues. You're one lucky woman!
I've been married for 8 years, i've got 2 daughters (6 & 3) & i've never had a nanny. But i have a wonderful husband who helps out whenever he can.
Saying a woman shouldn't get a help in the house is totally due to persistent POVERTY mentality. I'm a single girl and I know that house chores alone is a freaking full time job. I know that people encounter bad experiences with house helps and nanny but that is not to rule out the option. I don't know why people say woman that employ helps are lazy. A woman would cook and clean and still perform in the other room. How is she suppose to cope? As I have always maintained, society is not fair to the Nigerian woman. A woman should not kill herself with house work and forget to enjoy her life
ReplyDeleteI have always had a live in help from my first year of marriage. Can't kill myself abeg. My tips are:
ReplyDelete1.Once they come, open an account for them. Encourage them to save their salary for future business.It builds loyalty.
2. Don't segregate them. If every one is having fried eggs and bacon for breakfast, let them have same.
3. I laugh at people that prevent helps from entering their bedrooms.who are u deceiving? They can enter your kitchen pots and be left alone with your kids but should not enter your bedroom? Lmao! Totally unnecessary. You are just building resentment.
4. Encourage her to confide in you. Let her know you will always be on her side. Sometimes take her aside and ask her if anyone is disturbing her. Tell her that she should always come to you if she feels uncomfortable about anything in the house.
5. They get tired too. Plan her day for her and include siesta and reading times. On weekends if you wake up before her you can start doing some stuff.
6. The most effective way to reset their brain is let them know u can do without them. Once mine starts doing anyhow I will just ask her to go lock herself inside the room. Will do all the housework to my satisfaction. Na she go dey beg to come collect the work for my hand.
7. Gist with them. Ask them about their future ambition, parents, boyfriends etc. Get to know them on a deeper level.
8. 80% of them are sexually active. Ensure its not happening on your bed. Go through their phones periodically to ensure they are not conniving with the gate man or neighbourhood boys to deal with you.
9. Once they start hinting they want to go, allow them Nobody is irreplaceable. Once they are tired of staying they become very ill mannered and annoying. Keep them away from neighbours. Let the learn to mind their business.
10. When you are doing family devotion,let them join. Call their names alongside your kids'as you pray for them. Also monitor your kid's reactions to them. Watch if your kid cries too much when she is around. Let them see you as a very watchful, observant person.
Damn! These rules are too much. Having headache over another human. I stopped using them for some years now and I am relieved! My hubby helps though.If you have a "lazy" hubby who feels too big to do domestic chores abeg get a maid o, if not you go old on time. I make use of creche, a woman comes in to clean on Saturday and a boy from the next compound also assist.
DeleteNB I am at the salon now why my hubby is watching over the kids (aint I lucky?) Don't fight your hubby if he is not helpful o, he might be good in another area my hubby is bad at.
*While
DeleteWomen please take care of yourselves o and take out time to develop yourselves not just to be breeding kids like rats. I have 2 kids now but I am on a 7 years break because I want to start a professional course that will boost my resume and profile. It's not only men that should have a career. You can have it too. Just plan and be selfish sometimes.
1000likes for your Comment
DeleteMine is not been paid, I hired a female lesson tutor for her cos she wants to go school my son is just a year old,,,treat them as you will treat your younger ones...
True that @ RSQ 👍👍👍
DeleteLol. I do this and more.
DeleteSome get so excited once they start receiving alert of money they are not touching,next thing you know, village people start beckoning on them.
For me good. I am a very patitent person so was very accommodating. Treated them the way I would a junior sister. We gist and all. Have had a total of 4 over 20 yrs. 3 are university graduates and 2 are now married themselves. Have gone for omugwo once. For me the key is just treating them with respect and they will forever be loyal. But that being said some are just bad. Had one who used to like sleeping around. Tried talking to her. When I noticed she was not listening I sent her back.
ReplyDeleteI've not had any househelp before but my siblings are among the lucky ones that get trusted and loyal ones.
ReplyDeleteMy siblings travel with their help. One of my sister's nanny cries whenever her baby falls ill. She won't even eat. She's so over protective of the kids that she doesn't allow anyone aside family members to touch them.
When I start having househelp I will treat them well because they will treat my kids same way I treat them.
Some househelp are evil sha. No matter how nice you treat them they don't just appreciate.
I cannot come and kill myself on top house chores, if you can afford it both financially & spiritually why not go ahead, you have to pray for direction ,so you don't bring in a witch or a weirdo into your home, & then you still have to be vigilant. Everything doesn't end up negatively. My mum had 3 so while we were growing up,(one at a period)they helped her while she helped them too, she trained some in some trade, but when we were in senior secondary we didn't have them anymore, we did our house chores ourselves. It's now that everyone has left home that mom is now looking for again, she has one that stays & leaves for weekend break. It's all good when you find someone good to help & spend time with.
ReplyDeleteI have had several but what is common to them all is they hate being treated nicely. Maybe it's a psychological thing , I don't know but it seems they prefer people that treat them shabbily. I use matured help now, thinking maturity will matter but apparently not.
ReplyDeleteThey are called necessary evil but the years I spent abroad, I had to do everything myself. They can make your life easier if you get the right ones. Now I don't have emotional attachment to any, you mess up, I fire you.
If you employ any of them is good you treat them well, treat them like your family members and not to to treat them like an outcast. If you are nice to them, they will take care of your family, children, home, I know some of them are evil, no matter how good you treat them, they will still be wicked to you family.
ReplyDeleteIf you can afford a CCTV just to watch them, is good you do that. You cannot just trust anybody with the way things are going on presently.
My husband doesn't even like the idea of bringing in a maid.
ReplyDeleteIf I hear say I no get housekeeper. Strength ko Power ni.
ReplyDeleteI got one after my first baby and she has been a blessing. Not perfect, but we get by. I cannot come and kill myself.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm, I wonder the way some people reason and just spew out trash.
ReplyDeleteWhat is bad in having a maid so far you treat them nice, you' ve got no worries.
I have had different maids who have been with me for years. One spent 13 years, even after graduation still want to continuing being with me but I said "no" cos of her age 31 now. Waiting for employment opportunity to give her job in my office. But still comes around from time to time. Very good girl. Came at 13 and left at 26 when she had admission into Uni. Which I partly financed.
The present one has free access even to bedroom. She does the cooking except weekends when am home. She is good and decent. Has even finished Secondary school. Am thinking of what to do for her next. Nothing like fear of hubby.
Hubby can go outside but never with any of my girls.
Don't illtreat them. They are human beings. That's not to say there are no bad ones.
But if you are a working woman, you will understand how neccessary they are.
For me, am used to having them back to back. Call me lazy, na you Sabi. I can't kill myself with house chores after hectic day at office. My hubby welcomes them too. So it has worked for us over the years and we have never had a bad experience
Hubby can go outside? So you have a wandering dick at home? You don't care if he cheats? When last have you gone for HIV test?
DeleteAll of you saying your horsebands will start eyeing your househelps, so you all have dogs as horsebands? Imagine being scared of my husband making passes at my house help, tufiakwa! you all are pathetic. I wonder where you all get these dogs that you marry, later you will come here and sing praises of these dogbands
ReplyDeleteIs a maid ur family member or friend that u can take along on vacation? Or is it those nigerian oppressive & wicked homes who turn extended family members into servant.
ReplyDelete*why do some people have boundary issues? They sleep with maids & servants or engage in inappropriate intimacy relationship with them?
The best thing is use / recruit servants or maid from reputable agencies. With their finger prints, ID data on record!!! And verifiable criminal & background check done on them & on record.
U don't corners when it comes to whoever that u let into ur home or personal life!!!
Even if it's only $10 an hour work or 1 hour a week job, u must follow the right measures.
Just like any other work / professional relationship, u don't abuse or compromise it!!!
Yes I prefer to pay a maid or servant to come and clean, cook, run errands & do household work than to wait for / depend only on relatives & family members for those things that I can't do alone or don't have time for. But I keep clear boundaries!!!