“I do not understand why you should date someone for more than two and a half years. That is my take. I feel like if you meet someone, two years is decent, two and half years is decent, By three years, its like ‘what again are your trying to find out’.
What didn’t you find out in the first and second year. I feel like 5 years is taking the piece and for seven years, you are absolutely having a laugh. By 10 years, it’s like ”are you the lord of the rings? I can say this because I have been in a long term relationship so I can tell you how I feel about it. My answer is no because I feel like often times, long courtships do not translate to a happy marriage.
Sometimes you find people who date forever and when they get married, they don’t make it past that year or two or three years. You find people who get married in a year and a half and 10 years down the line, they are still together. When people show you who they are, you have to believe them.
If you find yourself in a five year, seven years 10 years relationship, it is enough for you to sit back and ask the guy what is going on and where are we going to?
Why would you want to date someone for seven years. In that seven years, some people have gotten together, gotten married, had children, divorced and you are still this person’s girlfriend. There is nothing that you would not find out in three years that you want to find out in eight years.”
*What do you say?
Toke, I really don't need your advice.
ReplyDeletePeople date for a long time for different reasons. There's no particular manual for a happy relationship/marriage. I dunno how many times we need to say this
Lol..
DeleteWhen i started dating my man, He asked when i would like to get married.
I told him 5 years from when we started.
He was shocked, I told him I would not be rushed or hurried, no be marriage? No be forever?
What are we rushing for?
We have gone 3 out of the 5 now, time does fly.
You can say that at a particular time, you should know where the relationship is headed. But to put time and pressure on something like marriage is a bomb waiting to happen.
you de mind the dwarf?
DeleteShe doesnt think....
Different strokes for diff folks... she knew all this & her marriage scatter beyond repair, ode.
Who is this idiot calling someone a dwarf, bastard like you
DeleteBring it on
whats wrong with guys she just said her opinion from her experience.
DeleteWhen will this old hag learn to shut her stinking fake mouth
DeleteAnd may you not receive the gift of old age.
DeleteThank you Eka.
DeleteEveryday one nonsense rule or the other
Hanty wants people to quit relationship and give space for her; if not what is her wahala? Did they cry to her? So wat if they don't marry? Who told you they are not HAPPILY DATING? Nonsense rules every day!!!
Been a long time she trended so she wants tongues to wag again. Follow Tokes advice at your own detriment
Last time I checked this lady is ALWAYS on the opposite side of her preachings...
#norules #doyou #findyourpath #wateryourowngarden #growyouyourway #behappy #befree ✌
You are veryyy correct baby gal.
ReplyDeleteTwo years is too even long for me not to talk of five years and what have you.. Taaar, Ana m apu ala??😉😑
@Sandy Yo. lol, Ibu nwafor. @Giveaway Princess
DeleteAunty Toke has come again. Small small she will resume lecture work.
ReplyDeleteI believe in you know what you want I know what I want we plan less than a year sef we marry.
Honestly Stella I think she is right this time, two years is OK, I have been there too and I can tell you it's not by how long you guys dated.
ReplyDeleteShe couldn't have said it better. Experience is the best teacher
ReplyDeleteSwaaggy my love do your church sisters suck their husband's dick
Deletequeen, is dick meant for sucking na breast?
DeleteTrue.. Men these days are scared of commitment and it is a problem.
ReplyDeletewhy we no go fear when runs babes full everywhere.
DeleteWhy are men still getting married?Wetin wife go do that girlfriends no fit do? Girlfriends are easy to manage. If she gets fat or old, you trade up to millennial models. They will be coming out 18 this year. Not all these big Stout and alomo bitters guzzling gwegs.
DeleteOK I see!
ReplyDeleteIf a 16, 17 or 18 years old girl starts dating, in the next 2-3 years she should start expecting marriage cos it's taking too long.
I see nothing wrong if you are in a relationship with someone for years so far you aren't ready for marriage and doesn't think of it.
But, if you are desperate for marriage then this advice is for you.
After all, every relationship mustn't lead to marriage.
wetin a teenager don achieve for am to dey date? let them live their lives and focus on education or any profession they deem fit, not relationship pls. all these boy friend and girlfriend things are not right before God. when you are ready to marry, find spouse and marry. not all this fuck upandan
DeleteBut e dey happen na abi.
DeleteOr has your preaching to teenagers against boyfriend/girlfriend stopped them from doing it?
And you go just find spouse begin marry like you go market place find the kind material you like buy baa.
If someone is in school doing boyfriend /girlfriend, of
DeleteCourse it’s not the same thing...cos they’re focused on school and the time passes anyway but once you’re in the real world, and you let a man string you along for 7 years, then you the woman are just being foolish
...she waited this long to say this?..
ReplyDeleteThe number of years depends on how it was started.What if they both started from university? What about those who even start from secondary school?? Like we have been hitting here,there's no manual to a successful relationship.
ReplyDeleteDo what works for you...
All I know is that so far you ain't married,
ReplyDeleteDate and FUCK as many as you can.
Loolz! Chai
DeleteAll I know is that so far you ain't married,
ReplyDeleteDate and FUCK as many as you can.
I think, every relationship has its different aim. There are some you go into,both parties just want to have fun and viola is 5yrs, or 10yrs and they later want to settle. For some, the relationship is defined first, so for that 1yr or 2yr is OK to know all they want to know . Overall when going into a relationship know what you want and focus on that.
ReplyDeleteTrue word. Who engagement ring help? @Giveaway Princess
ReplyDeleteI agree with Toke on this, two years is enough for courtship!
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on the age. You cannot expect people who met at uni or after uni at the age of let’s say 21 to get married 2years later - that is impossible.
ReplyDeleteSays Toke that wanted to die on Majes matter abeg shift
ReplyDeleteThat even makes her a more
DeleteProficient adviser on this.. I mean, funny but true 😁😁😁
2 yrs is too long for a relationship that ll lead to marriage. 2months is enough.
ReplyDeleteIn fact my cousin married her husband after 7days of meeting him in the village during festive period.
They met on the 26th, he paid her bride price on the 3rd of January. He returned to his base abroad came back September, did church wedding and took her along.
Ha my hand no dey that one oh
Deletewhy not say 2days is enough! If it worked for ur cousin u think its the appropriate move for all?
DeleteCall your cousin now and ask how far...? Mtschewww
DeleteThat’s like walking into mr.biggs and marrying a total stranger
Deletetoke face front, how long did you date Maje? ?
ReplyDeleteLook at someone that has flat nyash is telling another to face front
DeleteWhatever works best for them!
ReplyDeleteMy only problem with this advice is the fact that it is channel only to women; like, its the men that is supposed to do the "knowing well" of the girl, while the girl will just only open her honey pot and service the man, go for shopping and show off.
Women should also learn to take a walk when the men are not who they claim to be. They should take a walk if the relationship start going south.... I'm tired of hearing women saying, he used me, after spending thousands of years with him and sucking my pussy juice dry.
Stop playing the victim role!!!
She is right, why keeping so long and after so many years of waiting the guy will say I am no more interested, two years without moving to the next level is a very long time. Except they are only in for sex and play.
ReplyDeleteTM is aging gracefully. Mi like.
ReplyDeleteFinally princess intellinwegbe likes something
DeleteIshi nini
dont allow makeup and filter fool you
Deleteimagine the senseless talk shes spewing... did she even think about when they met?
ReplyDeleteCircumstances surrounding the late proposal?
Or even distance theyre trting to bridge? always wanting to sound like a sane councelor... mtcheeew!
Says toke who dated maje for 12yrs...girl STFU. Some pple marry for that number of years and still divorce, every one has a formula that works for them. She likes to hear herself talk, maybe if you take your own advice, your life might be different today. You hear of pple divorcing after 15-20 yrs together, so it's not how far it's how well.
ReplyDeleteIt's better to date for that long than to constantly open ya kpeky for a hot bottle of gin and dry meat
DeleteMaje wasn’t nice to Toke! Truth be told! He was fucking girls up and down! Him and his bestie! His current girl is no price CO’s if she was, then what’s stopping him from putting the ring on her finger! Fuck boy!
DeleteDifferent strokes for different folks!! Do what is best for you,it's not a competition....
ReplyDeleteIt's that why you have been deceiving that aunty squatting with the scarecrow in your compound
DeleteWell, it depends on where people are in life. You cannot meet a man who is still struggling to be comfortable and expect him to marry you within 2yrs. If a man is financially secure and does not talk about marriage within 2yrs,then you need to move. He not ready to marry the YOU is silent. Her advice is spot on provided the man is capable .A man knows within 6 months and if you're not the one, he'll still date You for the benefits till he finds his wife. Ladies, always trust your instincts you'll know when you're just being a place holder.
ReplyDeleteBut you dated a man for 15years before paying your own bride price
ReplyDeleteoften times, people in long term courtships settle, not because the spark is there or the love is sharking them but because of the lack of strength to move on, the lack of zeal to start "over again", the fear of who will want me now, the fear of what would world people say? after everyone knows me with this same dude and now they will start gossiping ?
ReplyDeleteSo even when the signs are there that this man is abusive, a cheat, unsupportive, controlling or wont make you happy; you wont break it off and move on simply because you are afraid of the UNKNOWN.
But the reality is, if you put all fears and worries aside, temporarily, you will find in almost every family, someone who was in a long term relationship but got disappointed - and this person eventually found someone else and is now HAPPILY married, or atleast appears to be.
Theres a quote i learnt from a movie, never let the fear of failure, keep you from playing the game. In the same vein, i will encourage anyone who finds theirselves in a Long or short term relationship that you know in your heart of hearts, this dude isnt it, dont be afraid to start afresh. Dont allow external pressures or family pressures weigh you. They wont live with you in the marriage (should you go ahead with it).
Bia Sylvia, your head dey there. 1000 likes for your comment.
DeleteGod has the final say until we allow Him decide our lives the better for us no competition in life, remember is not how far is how well.
ReplyDeleteI thot she said that she dated Maje for 15yrs. Relationship expert that can keep a single relationship down! Who asked for her opinion or advice, Alainitiju!
ReplyDeleteAnons 17:04,14:17 and 14:19,you must have failed Comprehension in school. Toke said she had been there! She was talking from experience. Olodo rabata!
DeleteI totally agree with her! To me, 6months to 1year is enough
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with her. Dated my ex for close to 10years,Bobo was very ok to get married but was always giving excuses plus money was not the problem,dude was very ok financiallly.Met my husband and in less than a year we did our introduction and got married in a year and 2 months later.Everyday I thank God I did not marry my ex,hubby and I are great. It’s been 3years now and I’m glad I moved on. All these time wasters will get the better part of your years,it works for a lot of people but it’s not the bedrock for a happy marriage.
ReplyDeleteDifferent strokes met hubby when I was 18 we didn’t get married until 10yrs later
ReplyDeleteI agree though dating for Long or short doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage