THE JOURNEY OF A BABY MAMA Series

I actually feel nervous writing this………… it’s like a flash back, bringing back so many unwanted memories. But am I glad doing it? Absolutely.

Being a single mother or “Baby Mama” is and can be very emotionally wrecking sometimes, in fact it’s a life full of emotional challenges. It’s like climbing a mountain with a heavy backpack. It’s a lonely life, its empowering though but it’s very hard I must say.

It takes a lot of strength, boldness and courage to be a baby mama….therefore I am a strong woman, I know. To every mother whether single (as in divorced or widowed), baby mama or married, I dedicate this write up to us. We shall live to reap the fruits of our labour, God gat us.

My focus is going to be mainly on baby mamas. Please this post is to help me find closure, I am not writing to encourage anything bad, but everybody makes mistakes. Nobody should say I can never make this mistake…never say never because I never believed I would be a baby mama. Please try not to judge me for my past but learn a thing from this post if you want.



I have heard people gossip about me and call me Baby mama; it’s a name I have come to live with, what can I do about it? Am I proud to be one? No…but I am very proud and glad to be a mother to my child. If I were to turn back the hands of time I would want to be a mother again but in a proper and right way.



I am a baby mama today because of my quest for adventure and love because I believed and still believe so much in love and life. I didn’t choose to be one but I allowed the circumstances that surrounded it to happen. I wasn’t always a “BAD” girl like some people assume when they realize I have a child, in fact I was still naïve and sort of timid. (Why do bad things happen to innocent people?) I had friends that had series of boyfriends and was enjoying life…but me, that one time that I wanted to start enjoying life like my friends, I fell into the trap that the devil set for me.



Let me give you a quick rundown of how I began this journey.

I got preggy when I was 21 years old in my first year in the University. I was far away from home that was how I managed to stay away from prying eyes and gossiping mouths while pregnant. But still mouths did wag of course from my course mates and lodge neighbors that I quickly bought a wedding band to cover up.

Well my life didn’t end there as I had thought; my family was in shock in the beginning, giving the fact that they knew I was a good girl. Some of them wanted me to terminate while my mother desperately wanted the young man to marry me, but he blatantly refused saying he has kids from other women and wasn’t ready to marry me, not then not ever, I knew there was no hope for the two of us, I just had to move on. (He gave me money to abort but I used the money to register for antenatal.)

I registered for antenatal not because I didn’t want to remove the baby, I wanted to initially, but I became scared of dying, I knew instantly that if I died while aborting, that it would be a greater shame for my family. Having a child out of wedlock seemed to be more like a lesser evil.


I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to keep it. I knew people would look down on me, call me names but I wasn’t exactly prepared for it. There were many uncomfortable situations like when I had to go to market to buy things, how some mothers were staring at me because I looked very young. I always had to answer questions like” where is your husband now? Won’t he come and visit you?” Or “hope your husband will come back when you are about to deliver?


I lost my friends in the process not because they drew away from me but I did, I couldn’t go home for a year then, I wasn’t ready to face them. My friends became some of my course mates who supported my decision to keep the baby.



It wasn’t easy at all, the fun and charisma of being pregnant was lacking in mine, you know when all those craving and morning sickness started, I had nobody to pamper me. I just had to manage and deal with it. How I managed through school with the 5k he was sending to me every 3 weeks I can’t comprehend. I became stronger than I used to be, I guess my mind and body had to adjust because they knew I needed to be strong as I had no partner to pamper me. I fetched my water, cooked my food cleaned the house all by myself. While still preggy, men were still disturbing me, imagine!


Boom! It was 9 months already and my patter of tiny feet was ready, I had a quick labor from 12 am to 2am on a Sunday morning. My elder sister was by my side to encourage me, it wasn’t easy but I made it. My princess popped out and was just staring at me like she knew I was her mother.


I ended up being depressed for a while because I had a huge cut down my vjay due to how tight that area was (nobody was lubricating me while preggy lol), the nurses did not stitch me up. I was moving up and down with a gutter like cut down there for days while bearing the pains of sitting down in hot water. It was indeed a period of emotional journey for me.



Then reality set in; I was now a mother. Just when I thought I was about to be free, little did I know that a whole lot were queued up waiting for me. The real roller coaster ride called life just began.