Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Mouth hanging loose...........

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

MARRIED TO ONE'S SELF FOR TEN YEARS..

I don't know why I'm telling my story, perhaps to entertain you guys or maybe to unburden myself, or to kill boredom......i really don't know.

But my heart is numb, so I'm probably not feeling any sorrow now, just functioning like a zombie.

Two years back, or so I wrote my chronicle as a woman married for 8 years without ever having lived straight 3 month with my husband.Remember that chronicle ??? That's me!!! Now it's 10 years.

I am not necessarily weak or stupid, I'm just a woman that was raised in a family that hates scandals and low standards.


HERE Is to my latest, I have 4 sisters and my parents are alive, but my secrets are too heavy that I can't share them with my loved ones, cos I feel they will be hurt on my behalf and perhaps I'll also lose my respect and standing before them.


My husband just came in to visit us this September as is his normal practise and stayed for 3 weeks, unfortunately for him , his phone fell into water and blanked out, so he started using my phone to communicate with friends and people.


My fellow Bvs to cut to the chase, I found out from his face book messages, chats and secret calls that he has 3 children from three different women, 2 German ladies, 1 Ghanaian, and several current girlfriends in London, California, one he is planning to move in with in London as soon as he gets back, another just had an abortion for him there in London while he came back to Nigeria and these last 2 work in same organisation with him in London,a white girl and a black Briton.

My people when ever I enter the kitchen to cook, or when I'm sleeping or distracted, guy man will quickly log in and communicate with them,Note that we have four children oh, 3 boys and a girl......


And all of these several girlfriends think he is single, none of them knows he has a wife and children.

Bvs do you people see my shame??? On his face book , he is single and doesn't display any family pictures, so the ladies don't know.

Anyways, I helped myself to information gathered, since embassies have refused me visas severally to go and meet him,I used the two ladies to fight my battle. I communicated with the two girlfriends in his office with evidence of our marriage and also exposed to them that he was dating 2 of them secretly without them knowing...

commotion broke out, lots of crying and fighting between the ones in London, Note that the Brighton is 34yrs while the European girl is 25, and caused a scandal.......the Briton called me to beg that she didnt know he was married and wouldn't do a thing like that and promised it was over between them,cos she had similar experience with the father of her 2 kids.

See, I am tired of writing already, sounds like super story right??? But it's my situation., it's my shame,I am so ashamed to let anyone know that a man is treating me like this.......


Let me tell you a bit about myself, I am a chic, beautiful, classy, smart, I get chykes from men on daily basis, in Fact it embarrasses me, you would never see me and believe this can happen to me, but here is the thing.........i loved this man, and dated him 4 years before marrying him...

he was my school boyfriend,I was the one that asked him to go get his masters abroad,, I come from a very decent family, where you can't even have an extra year in the university, it's forbidden, you just can't do anything scandalous,you must be prim and proper, my dad a lecturer, my mum a teacher , so the discipline was massive. And I kinda believe in nemesis.

So I have been lonely for 10 years in marriage, starved of s#x and warm contact except for my children, ....I've been a faithful wife hoping that this ordeal will be over one day and I'll get my husband back, scared of divorce, scared of making a mistake, cos I have to be a role model for my kids, but .........now I am angry in my spirit,


Don't even know how to put myself out there again to find a relationship, what kind of relationship will I even have with a man, cos it's obvious to a blind man that " I'm married to myself" as our MEAN BLOG VISITORS will say

I need to have my own life, create my own happiness, but I would be cheating any man that gets involved with me cos I've got 4 children and can't compromise them, I also cannot remarry,and I'm just 35 years old......i am so confused, I'm stranded,if I tell my parents, they will die of heartache.

When I confronted my husband, he owned up to all these, but wasn't remorseful, he said , it was loneliness that made him get into those mess.

Whenever he visits home it's always obvious he has been sexually busy, he is so irresponsible that he doesn't use protections but sleeps around skin, but I can't say no to him cos I love s'x and he is the only one that gives it to me , I'm usually very high strung by the time he comes home and his lovemaking is mind blowing.mind you he just turned 40 yrs this year.

This past 10 years of our marriage and even earlier while dating has always been issues about him and women, always different women, that's being chronically Randy .Surely 40 years is old enough to power down??


I just wanna run away with my kids and hide , or wake up from this dream, how can I be lonely all my life because I got involved with this man. I think he is sick psychologically, and I can't let this situation make me s'xually loose, but it's clear I have to open my heart to finding a man for myself to keep me sane , I'm going crazy........

But where do one get a good man, how do I get my groove back from this complicated situation, I didn't choose celibacy, , I chose marriage cos of companionship, I chose love, understanding, care, I chose communication.
And he comes from a very decent family too, his parents are heartbroken .they see what I see.His youngest sibling even called me aside last month to tell me to give up on him so i don't die of heartbreak.

whenever I put in visa application, he dosent come through on his part.?..........


Please forgive my conjugations, I'm writing from my heart not my head, I if you don't have anything to say just read and say hmmmmmmmmm, i don't need validation, just had to pour my heart out somewhere.......

*Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,na wah oh....Thank God you are strong,please do not break......I cannot advise you not to look for another man oh,this one you have is not a man but a dog on full time permanent heat.

Na wah!!!