STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TROPHY WIFE
Good day bvs.
Good day bvs.
Please help me post this Stella. I recently got married about three months ago, but I noticed my husband is quite obsessed and too protective of me.
My dad called me that the job he has been lobbying for has finally clicked and I'm expected to come for interview this monday. I told my husband he said my dad has already called him and I said okay so how is it going to be?
He said why should I be working? I just got married and he is rich blah blah. I tried to make him understand I have to work I can't just Be sitting at home doing nothing and he was like so what? He can be paying me thrice the salary.
I noticed my husband only wants a stay at home wife, he loves s#x so much that he just wants to be coming home to meet his wife and make love anytime. He is a good guy and very responsible but I'm just worried. To think he is a young guy of 26 while I'm 23.
He also makes reference to his mum not working and his dad is the sole provider,that it's what makes a man. .....
I dont know what to do or how to convince him to let me work.....
*Just three months and you are like this?My Dear why dont you relax first and enjoy the honeymoon..I dont know what else to say to you,you should have seen all these whilst you were dating but you thought you could change him?I wish you the best babe but this wont be easy oh...
What does your husband do for a living that at 26 he can afford to pay you 3 times your salary. Yahoo?
ReplyDelete26 year old fuckaholic married to a 23 year confusionist. Yahoo is a serious business compared to how childish and ridiculous this chronicle sounds.
Deletegood question
DeleteYou married him without discussing something as serious as expected gender roles.
DeleteI doubt theyre in Nigeria.
DeleteBvs on this blog can lie for Africa. How can your husband be 26 years and he is so rich to pay thrice a salary. What does he do? Is he a ritualist? Is he into Credit card fraud, 419, yahoo yahoo etc.
DeleteAll of una no well.
Gosh cant a 26yrs old be successful via legit means again? Who did this to us
Delete16:04 start rolling with people making more money. Decent money. Then you'll know this is possible
Delete@ anonymous 16:04 is not everybody that comes from a poor family...Some people are just fortunate from birth😁😁😁😁I know a 23yrs old guy that left uk to manage his that company worth billions in Nigeria after the dad pass away
DeleteBut what exactly do women want?you don’t have money theyl say you’re a broke ass and probably cheat saying you’re not taking care of them.Now this one has money and doesn’t want his wife to stress she’s still complaining??Some women are mad and I’m not sorry to say it.
DeleteHow can you get married to someone without discussing thus type of sensitive issue? What will happen if he is no longer rich tomorrow? Better go and get a job
DeleteMy friend go and work.
DeleteHope he's mentally matured o.
16:56 are u well at all. Do people work just for money. are women toys to sit home and wait for you to come and play with them . Have some sense. You go to school with women that are top of the class. The same boy that was coming tenth is now telling ambitious woman to stay home . Not every woman wants that life
DeleteEven if he is form a very wealthy family he can not afford to pay 3 times her salary on family money. Trust me, I know. Even entrepreneurs find it hard to be that generous because of uncertainties. Even if they are abroad, which is worse he definitely cannot afford to pay her 3 times her salary. So I ask again, what does he do for a living. Obviously a fraudster. Work my ass.
DeleteDear poster, that man just wants to control you. Take the job and damn the consequences, being financially independent in marriage is very important. soon your husband would start controlling how you dress up and relate with people. your marriage is still young and your husband is testing his domineering and controlling skills on you. Be wise!
DeleteNa wa to all the people shouting 26 years old can't be rich, Poverty is indeed a bastard.* shaking my nyash for y'all.
What's with all these nonsense what does he do for a living?
DeleteMy bestie is 22yrs and earns 800k monthly. #truth. Nothing like fraud or runs; and YES in this Naija. Salary comes in dollars though
So if poster earns 30k. Multiply by 3 = 180k. 800-180= 620. Still rich.
Analysing this for the Thomases above.
So when some of una be 26 una still dey beg recharge card? We have some 26 years old millionaire.
DeleteAunty please go and take that job. This opportunity might not be there tomorrow.
How did you marry an immature husband?
@Anonymous 19:21, see as all of una just dey fail elementary maths:
DeleteSo 30k x 3 na 180k for ya village mathmagic?
And persin wey dey earn 620 naira monthly is rich? Abi you dey talk about dollars?
If they sack am for that job nko?
If you do not know, keep quiet. A lot of people still graduate at 21 you know. NYSC by 22. MNC - Shell, Chevron and all the independents by 23. Starting salary 350K - 500K. Then housing, furniture grant, car grant, security and thirteenth month. Forget l work in recruitment. l know for sure
Deleteeven earlier than 21 self.. during my NYSC days there was this girl that was 18 yrs. some people are just lucky
DeleteDifferent strokes sha...enjoy the moment nne, talk to him on opening a shop or something for you that would be fine
ReplyDeleteMake una dey do proper courtship; mbanu, for where.
DeleteMake una plan for marriage; whosai!
Na now you sabi say ya oga like to dey dey on top matta?
Enjoy the sex now, your husband is still young and full of energy. He will soon be tired.
ReplyDeleteSince he said he can pay you just make sure you collect the salary like he said (3X) and make sure you save your money ooo. If possible find any business that you can manage while you're at home.
ReplyDeleteChildren.........
ReplyDeletereal children...
Deletethem never jam
This is what happens when you marry a man that is too young and inexperienced. Who marries a 26year old?
DeleteI just taya.
DeleteAs in ehn who marries a 26 year old man?? Lmao!! Even a 26 year old lady is young! This is the type of man that would start to resent his wife at 40 because he would feel that his youth was taken away by marriage. 26 when he suppose dey ground and do all the do and enjoy bachelorhood. Plus his thinking is way too primitive for his age and time. How can a 26 year old think this way. Men way older have even dropped this line of reasoning. This worries me big time! Anyway, deal with your cross poster. When we keep telling you women to establish yourself before any man so whe he meets you he knows whats up you people think we are talking just because. Now see! If he met you with a job and career ambition, this your issue would never have been up for debate. You married rich man so enjoy yourself.
DeleteMy Dear,please enjoy your marriage..take it one day at a time..just go with the flow for now..you can always remind him lovingly..here is wishing you all the best in your marriage.God bless
ReplyDeleteNotice that the poster did not say that her husband is rich. He said the he's rich. And we know a lot of men are dillusional. And what if the job is paying miminmum wage or less?. 3 times that isn't much, that's if he can even afford to.
DeleteHe's rich at 26? and you are 23 and know what riches Are? Ok.
ReplyDeleteRelax Mami, enjoy the honeymoon faze and bring back the talk of working in a year but then he will be hearing and seeing clearly. Good luck.
Let him just open a standard business/shop for you close by since he is rich. He can still make love anytime he wants and you can still work. A win win situation.
ReplyDeleteEverybody doesn’t want to run a shop! Nawa for Nigerians!
DeleteNigerians and shops. Not everyone wants to own a shop bikonu
DeleteLmaooo.... true. Not everyone is cut out for that shop life.
Delete@Chidinma Grace, for shame, for shame, for shame!!!! I had to read your comment twice. Unbelievable!!!
DeleteMadam calm down oo. Make all the love you can now. This marriage is too early to be having issues. Sex it all now. He go tire.
ReplyDeleteHe is so young , hmm. How did he get so much money? Is he a yahoo guy? Is his dad a politician? So many thoughts!!
ReplyDeleteGive it to him hot hot till he is weak. After one month, he go help you find job. Tot he was an old man sef. He really loves you. Just relax and be eating his money. Remember to be putting some cash away for the rainy day. You no get problem. I wish to find someone like that
DeleteHow old is Davido and Wizkid? stupid question.
DeleteTroubled doul, thunder from Afghanistan strike your yansh there. Are you the poster? Idiot! Davido and wizkid we know , who is her husband or his dad? Mumu. Don't let me curse you.i am sure you are a yahoo guy or dating one...irritant. I asked a valid question.
DeleteAnon16:36 the fact that you were poor at 26 does not make every hard working guys one. change your poor mentality.
DeleteTtoubkTr soul, how rich are you? Ode
DeleteYou are rich and her fighting...Hediot
This 16:36 is still typing crap all over.
DeletePeople are earning in millions monthly oooo in Nigeria
Not everybody is doing vuharia regime.
There are companies paying good o.
Not everybody is suffering ooo
They are just lowkey cos of village people
The next thing now he will say you are not submissive..
ReplyDeleteGuys should understand that relationship is partnership.
One shouldn't lose ones self/aspirations/ambitions etc just because one is in a relationship or married.
Dear Lord please give me a caucasian hubby,I'm tired of meeting African guys with this mentality of "you must do everything your hubby says to have a happy home".
Poster the advantage of not working as your hubby demands is that you will have a "happy home" but the disadvantage is that you will be "unhappy" unless you find something meaningful to engage yourself.
Choose the lesser evil.
Epistlegang, this poster right here is the author of her problem. If she had done her research well enough, she would have known the kind of person the man is and what his thoughts are concerning a woman working or not. I'm not married to a Caucasian but my husband is totally understanding, and doesn't have that useless mentality. I had also discussed with him on several occasions while we were dating so I know his stand on things like this.
DeleteEpistlegang ...shocked...i thought you were a man
DeleteWhatever you do,Take the job! Its not about the money alone,you need it for your sanity and self esteem. You guys will make love when you both close from work.
ReplyDeleteExactly.
DeleteI agree
DeleteI would have say don't work and collect the salary he offered you, but knowing men and their nature it will do you good to start working or better still enroll for a programme e.g master degree and the likes
ReplyDeleteDear Lord, I don't want this kind of protection.
ReplyDeleteWhat else cam you do than keep speaking to him? Maybe your dad should also speak to him. No matter how rich a man Is, I believe every woman should make a living no matter how small. How does one stay 100% dependant on another financially? Won't you even be bored?
But why are some men this selfish. They think they have it all. I know one that made his wife lose a once in a life time opportunity. Something her parents made him promise she will do before they let her marry. It was with ptdf. This young man believed he had it all and refused. She even forfeited her job to go for this opportunity then he started acting up again. So she lost both ways. As God will have It, things went downhill for him financially so they looking at eachother until she managed to get a small job. I mean small and very tiny compared to her former and the opportunity. She has anger in her now and easily gets irritated cos it seams she made the biggest mistake of her life.
Well,
Talk to him, keep talkitalking. Calmly tho...
If nothing else, pls can the job be transferred to me?
Just kidding. Talk to him.
One Man's food is anothers poison ooo.
ReplyDeleteSee what I want
hahaha abi oo!!!
DeleteI feel you should sit him down and have a talk with him. tell him it not about the money but the idleness.
ReplyDelete26 and 23? You guys are really young. And you said he's rich well if he doesn't want you to work you can as well suggest for you to set up a business that will allow you to have time so that you don't completely become idle.just relax since there's money unless you want to talk about working to fulfill your dreams
ReplyDeleteShe didn't say he's rich he did. And poster didn't tell us whether he could really pay.
DeleteDear poster, these are issues you ought to have discussed and settled before tying the knot. Be that as it may, try to gently convince him that you need to work. I can never advice any woman to be totally financially dependent on any man. You need it for your self esteem and also to save for a rainy day. I wish you the best!
ReplyDeleteMadam take the job.
ReplyDeleteOne man's meat is anothers poison
ReplyDeleteWhat does he do? @ 26 he is so rich according to you n him
ReplyDeleteWhat does he do? @ 26 he is so rich according to you n him
ReplyDeleteYou never discussed this before marriage?I'd advice you give it a bit of time,don't resume/take on the job without his consent(a lot of people might not want to hear this)but its the only way for peace to reign in the young marriage until you are able to convince him,I know its hard and your dad might be disappointed but you have to be WISE,pray too if u can and may God guide you!!
ReplyDeletePoster, please take the job. Taking up the job will help you in a lot of ways and you will still have your respect. If you turn down the job opportunity and accept the salary he promised to be paying you.He will get tired after one year.
ReplyDeleteHave one on one discussion with him and let him understand why you need the job.
My dear, don’t argue with him just go for your interview and start your job. It doesnt matter if he is Adenuga, just imagine having to beg for sanitary pad money when you both have a small quarrel loool. It is a control thing and you will be controlled if he pays you except you went to school to become a house wife.
ReplyDeleteYou need your own money outside of his income, cause if things are bad for him,you should be able to support. When you have kids you would want to be able to give them the best. Think very well. Go for your interview
So long he is gonna pay you,don't take the job,save as much as you can,whenever he dares not to pay threaten him about getting a job,meanwhile don't be a useless housewife,learn a skill online while at it,you both are young and don't seem to know much from the tone of your chronicle,be submissive in this case!applybwisdom in other forthcoming cases
ReplyDeleteBecause na so work full ground sotey na companies dey beg and rush you make you collect work with armrobber salary, abi?
DeleteOpportunity they say comes but once...
Poster it's for your to either take advantage of this rare opportunity or ignore it over a trivial issue. When sudden loss of money meets hunger it can reduce anybody no matter who into a hopeless suicidal nobody.
Anyone here asking you to take the job here might not mean well for you,calm down,forget the job for now,so peace can reign,many Nigerian girls are wishing to be in this your position,housewife with rich husband,take my advice!
ReplyDeleteAn idle mind is the devil's workshop
DeletePoverty mentality. God punish poverty
DeleteI am not understanding you. Up there you said 'do not be a useless housewife' now you say don't take the job...scizophrenic much?
DeleteDidn’t you date? Well you married now.
ReplyDeletePray tell.... What did you discuss during courtship? HWat were you doing? Did you ask about his understanding of a family and did he ask about yours? What were the sources of income agreed on by both of you?
ReplyDeleteSome of you make me laugh with the chronicles you send. Def not worth a comment from me.
Good luck!
Hmmm,
DeleteThree months of marriage, what was discussed during courtship?
Just want to get married, what of career goals, future plans and all.
It's your call to answer!!!!
What do young people of these days discuss before marriage. You need to understand that people are a sum total of their upbringing and experiences in life. A man who sees his mom as a stay at home mother will want the same for his wife unconsciously.
ReplyDeleteThese were the things you should have been telling him before you got married by saying you like to work and are career-driven or business-oriented so that you won't be in this position now.
I'm just wondering what the marriage classes in Naija teach people these days..guess how to be obedient wives and providing husbands, this is what happenes when you have 65 year old men teaching marriage classes. Times have changed.
Nigerians wake up! I wish I can come and teach young people better marriage classes with the right questions to ask before going into marriage. Good luck as you try to convince him but I hope one young woman at least learns from this story.
Na WA! Everyone shouting how he got rich @26, errrmmm... How old is Davido again?
ReplyDeleteEhen! No forget sey everybody no bi like everybody.
That been said, madam, calm down, you just marry ni na.
You are still on honeymoon faze.
Relax and enjoy, mostly the sex.
You can talk him to open a supermarket for you later, if you are the type that doesn't really know how to run a business, you can employ someone to man it for you while you put your eyes there.
That way you guys can FUCK as you like while you still make your money.
I am just scrolling in shock @screams over rich at 26
DeleteAnd kylie is 21 and worth 900mil dollars plus
#funnypple #funnycountry
This is the problem. During courtship you will be forking in the car, in the boot, in the toilet, under the kitchen sink, inside the bush -just everywhere. No questions, no plans for the marriage. And the girl will only be preparing for wedding day. After wedding day, she sends a chronicle to Stella to come and convince and confuse her horseband to let her work. Sdk na magician?
ReplyDeleteLmao.
DeleteShe may not have seen this while dating . Naija guys know the power we give them in marriage. So they just wait you out sometimes. You'll be sharing your dreams and they'll say they've heard .After marriage, they'll pull head of the home. If she tells her father this story, he'll probably pull that job immediately. Father too will say submit to your husnhus. Your mother is submissive that's why our marriage is good.
ReplyDeleteLaye!! As I kuku already have a job before I got married, he should coman carry my hands to type resignation letter nau.
DeleteLike my husband who seemed to agree with me in most issues wen we were dating.immediately we married come and see wahala.do this don't do this and everyone one around me was saying Abe obey him,you know he's ur husband etc.that was then sha,noo its fire for fire o
DeletePoster do you mean 36 and 33?
ReplyDeleteNna ehhh, it's too early for this biko, just sit him down and explain to him.
It is very much possible that a 26 year old guy can pay ur salary three time without bn a yahoo guy.
ReplyDeleteMy husband z 26 and he has his own business and pays me monthly cos am still a student so all dez lazy guys here should stop talking rubbish.
Igbo proverb- a man whose palm kernels were cracked by benevolent spirits should not think that others are lazy.
Delete16:28 pls don't call them lazy, the economy is truthfully very hard.
DeleteWhat I don't like is the confidence with which they are screaming impossible.
Shows you a lot of people are rly suffering
God help this country. 😢😢
Small pikin blabbing bcz God butter your bread while you were yet sleeping. Sha life can take any twist without your consent and teach you a painful seemingly impossible lesson.
DeleteBe thankful for what you were given coz even the life you are living is borrowed where tomorrow is not promised.
Peace
don't u people read before commenting? did she say the ones who don't have are lazy? so why will they be saying only yahoo can fetch a 26 year old money to be rich...u don't have doesn't mean others wont have.if life has dealt you blows it might have been cos of your laziness, destiny, sins of your fathers/mothers, curses, witchcraft so bottom line dont judge others when u dont know their story
DeletePoster so you mean to tell us you & your husband didn't discus this job or stay at home wife issue before getting married? You are in for a serious stressful journey sorry.
ReplyDeleteYour husband sounds like an autocratic person, one who is so full of himself & used to getting what he wants & it will be hard for you to convince him. He obviously has his mind made up. This na serious gbege. Anyway try your best to convince him in a loving manner if you truly want that job,go for the interview he could change his mind later.
Better still you can become a trophy wife & then start a business of your own, one that won't take much of you presence.
It is well you both are so young sha, please send us feedback so we can know how you guys settled. Good luck.
Everybody will e saying business business, you think its all women that want to open shop?some of us went to school to read professional courses and want to reach the top of our career in our profession. I so hate this open business talk.
Delete26 and 23? You guys are so young! Just in marriage.. . Just relax and enjoy your marriage for now, you can just engage yourself in skills while you save for raining days.
ReplyDeleteY'all saying 26 and he is rich, I am guessing you dont know these northerns. They are wealthy from birth and they are encouraged to marry early. A real Malo guy wont want his woman working, I think it's a Muslim thing. I know two people that married that early and they are both wealthy, had businesses and good jobs set up for them before they got married. So yeah, 26 and wealthy is possible.
ReplyDelete@anon 15: 18 what is wrong with running a shop, it all depends on what you are selling. The inflow of cash & how you manage it. See my sister that just opened a mini fast food, super cool, rented the space for for 1M in this Abuja if I tell you how much they make as gain in a month you go open your mouth & forget to close it again. To think that my sis doesn't even have to go there & stay, all she does is just enter her car drive to the place, check what is going on spend like 2hrs & go back home to attend to her family. All is about planning ,if you have the cash you can invest & have people do the work for you, it's financial security we all want, who too much talk elp
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong is that it's not for everyone. Some like to work in offices or banks or with the government or feel like they're influencing policy or as lawyers and doctors, saving lives. A shop won't bring that satisfaction
DeleteTell us.
DeleteWhatever the age my dear enjoy your time with your husband and since he is that rich get yourself a business you can do.
ReplyDelete@16:37, but she didn't mention they are northerners. Let's be honest, comfortable at 26 is possible, but rich at 26, to the extent of paying 3-times her salary is not common. Well, I dunno, at 26 I was only earning 140k/month but that was years ago. But this should be a wake up to young people in their twenties.. this is the BEST time to work on your future, not spending it trolling celebs, fighting BBN housemate wars, and dancing around in comment section of instablog. If you chanel that effort to whatever you are passionate about, you will relax and enjoy your thirties.
ReplyDeleteYou visit instablog and didn't read the news of a 19yr old naija geh that bought her mum n dad cars worth MILLIONS?
DeletePls google Priscilla Emasoge.
You earned 140 at that age doesn't mean others are not earning more
My dear,enjoy honeymoon first with your husband,its way too early to argue.
ReplyDeleteChronicle for three months marriage.
ReplyDeleteAs you chose not to discuss about this while you were dating, enjoy your new found life!! Shebi you were carried away with all the wedding senrenren not to have ironed this out with him before you signed the dotted line. 3 months into the marriage and you are already acting like you don't know shi about him. Pele shogbo trophy wife. You don enter this one chance. Jejely dey house dey collect the x3 salary and save like crazy. That's all I have to tell you.
ReplyDeleteshut up idiot, as if your life is all together...what did you achieve at 23? judgemental mofos....i blame people that bring their problems to blogs albeit anonymous
DeleteDon't let go of that job.dont listen to those saying enjoy honeymoon.the way you start now is how it will be.by d time you want change he will say you are having outside influence.so put ur feet on d ground in a gentle manner.before u will be a fulltime house wife with no dream or vision.take the job ooo.na so most married women ambition!dreams and drive dey die.and again I don't need to tell u how difficult to get job in nigeria is like now
ReplyDeleteChai Tenth, collect hand.you get sense too much!
Deleteboth of you are young, so young. thats all that i can say. i cant be a sit home mum though. i love to have my own thing, it may not be a 9-5 job but something sha
ReplyDeleteSo your parents sent you to school to become a sex toy to a man.As they finished training you, you can't buy them a pin without getting money from your husband.let me ask you a question can you see Right into the future. Do you know how Your husband's behaviour will be in the next couple of years, can you tell if he is going to be as rich as you claim he is.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you something your job is your security. All of them telling you enjoy your honeymoon everyday in marriage is honeymoon if the both of you want it to be. If you don't take your stand on how you want to be treated in that marriage at this early stage any day you decide to change you will be accused of being insolent.
This same people who asked you to enjoy your husband's money, the day you send in any chronical saying your husband no longer gives yo money like he used to they will turn around and call you lazy married woman who depends on her husband for everything.
If you know what's good for you better take that job except you have interest in getting a skill
They should discuss it and have an agreed 'honeymoon' period, after which she can get a job. They are both young and the mans libido may be quite high at these early months of marriage. This is not the time to 'take a stand' as you suggested. The marriage is too young to start facing such challenges especially if finance is not an issue. He can pay her for the time she is not working, that way she can have some savings in case things go sour. Forcefully getting a job may do more harm to their marriage than you can imagine at this point in time.
DeletePersonally,I must be productive.
ReplyDeleteHoney an overtly available wife gets boring quicker than quick. Nothing compares to the anxious feeling a man gets when he knows his wife is out there meeting all kinds of people. This will keep the calls coming and secure that 'protective' attitude of his for longer. Plus it will give you a better feeling of security. So when he gets home he won't just blab away about his day at work, you get to gist him about ur day also and even add a bit of spice..lol..pay no mind to my evil genie, I'm just saying keep it different and fresh, so lovemaking between you both doesn't turn into a chore. You guys have a looong ways to go..
ReplyDeleteI smell lies. Side eyes
ReplyDeletePoverty is the devil. Why can’t his money be legit? The barely 25yr old chap that lives next door earns over 100m p.a from his job and side hustles. Yes in this economy. What does he do? IT, supply of hardware, consulting and agriculture. Tiny skinny hustling chappie. Those with rich parents are even balling more. It’s sad that the hunger in the land made people ignore the chronicle and attack the poster.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, you need to calm down and abide by what was agreed on during courtship. If you both agreed that he’ll be working then sit your ass down at least for a while.
If you both agreed to work or foolishly didn’t talk about such things then you have to damn him and take that job. Tell him point blank that you both never said you won’t work and if he cares about your mental stability he should let you blossom. During this period ensure you don’t hold back on sex, are extra nice and romantic. Be firm and polite even if he’s being a little bitch.
The bitter truth is that in marriage a man is meant to provide and a real man derives his fulfillment from being the provider and caretaker. Normal real men and their ego Ish.
When you start working ensure you don’t change your tempo at home. If you have to hire extra hands please do. Cleaning and other aspects of home management can be outsourced at a decent fee. Sex him well whenever and wherever but if you’re too tired, don’t kill yourself. Migraines and cramps are very handy but don’t overdo it.
Also, ask him for the usual home upkeep. I repeat ask him for the usual home upkeep. Don’t ever make a man get comfortable with not being the provider. Also he may see it as you trying to usurp his role. Trust me issues like that exist. You can do ONE or ONE thing in the house e.g. payment of the domestic staff excluding security and chauffeurs. Leave those for him. Afterall the money you’re not spending is actually being saved away and not lavished on frivolities.
Spontaneously get him a gift or do something romantic from your salary every once in a while. From your salary you can do an in-law bribe every once in a while. Obviously never cash but something cool for your parents and siblings in law. Tell him to invite the boys over and strut your sexy ass! Feed them well and keep them drunk. They will devise their own entertainment. It matters because these are the people he talks to and would knock his head when he complains about you. If he’s more of a mummy’s boy always let his mother and family see you’re taking good care of their son even while working because best believe he’s going to report you when he feels cornered. Till date my FIL takes my side whenever my husband is acting up because he can never suspect that his Engel has horns hidden under her bun.
It does sound like a lot and it actually is but if you’re working and do these things for a year or so, he will remain assured that he’s the man while you’re actually living your best life and getting goals. See, everyone wins. Even if you slow down on some of these activities he won’t be bothered as you’ve already proven that you’re still his same old wifey.
I do wish you the very best and speak love and peace into your home.
Before I forget don’t report him to anybody to “advice” him. That’s the first step in creating a crack in your marriage:
Such excellent advice. You should write a book or do some relationship coaching.
DeletePhew....all this to keep someone. It is remaining to watch war room and pray. So what does the man now do? You people burden women too much, marriage is not this hard abeg and what works for one couple will not work for another.
DeleteThe issue of doing work is not just about money. Work allows us to be a part of something, contributing our talents to the creation of something, having a purpose and a way to express our creative energy. Your husband may not understand this because he is in an enviable position even compared to men three times his age. For him being able to cater financially to your every need is perhaps the highest expression of his love. I think of the lovely young couple Stephen and Ayesha Curry, Stephen makes a lot of money, but Ayesha also has her own entrepreneurial pursuits and things that she does even while being a mother to three, they were married quite young as well. I also think about Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Patricia, she continued to pursue her medical degree even when he was a billionaire. You need to express to your husband your need to have your own thing, and to express your own creativity. Let him know how comforting it is for you to have a husband who can more than provide for the household, but let him know that a powerful couple is a dynamic force and you also want him to be proud of you and your accomplishments, you want a husband that you can be equally yoked to.
ReplyDeleteAs for the sex, well you are the only person he can come to for that so you will have to figure out how you will handle it. Some men are just more amorous than others. You are still both young so enjoy the sex while you are both still attractive, have great bodies and no children to interrupt. Explore together and enjoy the blessing of having each other at such a young age. You both appear to have a great future ahead of you.
What and what did you guys discussed during courtship?
ReplyDelete