Hmmmm!!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COMPARING THE PRESENT WITH THE EX
I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for a few months and at first it was really great I thought he was the one
The way he showed loved to me was too good to be true
I wasn’t looking for any relationship I just wanted to focus on school and business but he came in as a really good guy :....
To cut the long story short we became involved and 3 months down the line he changed and made me become so insecure about myself, I used to be such a confident person who loved every flaw on my body but now I can’t even go out because I feel I’m not beautiful enough.
I have no one to talk to because I’m embarrassed myself. I give advice to my friends and tell them no man should ever let them feel less of a person but here I am suffering in silence. I’ve always been that strong person that people come to for emotional support but here I am crying as I’m typing this. I’ve never told anyone that I suffered from emotional and physical abuse while growing up. I used to be beaten until I was unconscious I have marks all over my body and the one person that’s supposed to love me makes ridicule of them.
He compares my body to his thick and light skinned ex’s I’m slim and not very light skinned I always find myself scrolling through IG comparing myself to other girls wishing to at least have their bodies and complexion.
Anyway I ended the relationship on October 16th because it has really changed me I hope I’ll go back to my old self. I don’t know why I’m writing this I guess I just needed to pen down my emotions and try to find ways that I can heal and learn to love myself again.
*Men who do this are very Dangerous to date...They tear you down and try to mould you into a puppet...I am happy you found your feet and broke up with him....
So many Ladies are in Relationships like this and have become too insecure to walk away.
👍
ReplyDeleteThank God you ended that relationship!
DeleteReally, a lot of girls come to this blog and forego the lessons and rile away their times.
DeleteI am going to ask a few questions that will make you not just move on but not make these same mistakes again.
1. You showed him "your body": I say this because of the "Nigerian in me", you said "and we became involved"
If this brat did not see your body, how will he see those marks of abuse? Once men put that long thing into you
they begin to find ways to dump you. Did he not see that you were "not fair and thick" when he swooped on you?
2. You trusted too quickly: I say this because of your words "I wanted to concentrate on academics and business"
In other words, you weren't really ready for a relationship. There is a period of watching and waiting while you
meet someone. Understudy him, close your legs, allow him to do the "loving and chasing" and see if he will complain or
get tired so quickly. That is when the true intent shows. If he came for sex, he will fizzle out. You did not allow
this time to elapse and quickly "got involved" and he had his fill and threw you out. Yes, he was the one that flung you out.
3. The God factor? The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. If you will fear God with your body from today, you will
discover that "you are fearfully and wonderfully made" (google it). Someone is looking for a slim and dark lady; exactly my description.
My husband told me that had I bleached my skin, he would have been put off immediately. A lot of fair ladies gave themselves to him "free of
charge"; in fact, even to pay him but he rejected all of them. Someone is looking for "the you" that you loath at the moment. The problem is
will you give yourself the benefit of allowing Jesus in your life to lead you to him and him to you.
Wish you all the best.
Why will you let someone tell you you are not beautiful when you have a mirror, I am so happy you left and I hope you never go back. Most men that do that actually have low self esteem, they want to break you so that you will never leave cus they themselves can’t do without you. Run and never look back, because it will grown from oral to physical abuse. You may not be as beautiful as Instagram girls ( they themselves are not that beautiful na filter) but you have something you are bringing to this world, no one is totally useless so concentrate on what you are good at and leave the boy man alone
DeleteMadam anonymous 17:07 you know if she had married this man, the abuse would still have been there. So whether he saw her body now or later, abusers are still abusers.
DeleteEmotional abuse..one of d sick forms of abuse, it takes a ton of courage to snap out of it.
ReplyDeleteWhat a man! Good riddance to bad rubbish
ReplyDeleteYou did the right thing poster.
ReplyDeleteIf he comes back to you, don't mind him you hear you hear you hear?
Don't go back to him too you hear
Eayah ekpele
ReplyDeleteThat's because you are too nice poster. When an ex tried this nonsense with me I showed him pepper.
ReplyDeleteWhen I gain weight it's always around my hips, butt and stomach. The idiot focused on my stomach and always reminded me I had a big stomach but guy I already know you didn't have to remind me na. Besides you saw the stomach before you came to woo me.
Immediately i looked for a flaw on his body (everyone has one) since no one is perfect even physically. I capitalised on it
I nagged saying "looked at your left legs and tiny arms", the guy became self conscious and that was the last time he mentioned my stomach. But I was already put off by his insensitivity and I broke it off. When any guy tries to make you feel bad look at their body well pick theirs and fire back then walk away.
That's the way to do it...I told my partner that if you can do better why not go for it rather than bringing me down.... Imagine after two kids he still want me to have a surf board belly, meanwhile hes not all that too
DeleteBaaaarrrr man, give this anonymous a bottle of seaman schnapps.
DeleteAdd a cocktail of sex on the beach 🍹
DeleteAnd a tot of orgasm
DeleteWow, first of all thank you for leaving such a toxic situation. That bf has got lots of problems & insecurity & he unleashed them on you, shame on those kinda men.
ReplyDeleteSo babe never compare your body to Instagram pictures, those ain't real, you should know better than this. You shouldn't compare yourself to anybody, you are a kind of beautiful, one of a kind, everyone is,& unique in beauty, no matter the shade or sculpt.
Finally move on & never give any man the chance to do this to you anymore. I never see man wey go make me look down on my self sha. Dem never born am, you can yab me on other levels like money or not be sophisticated or not being a celeb or a rich kid, or even a sophisticated job but when it comes to my body you cannot get to me ,not a chance, cos I know my worth & I know who & what I have.
My ex tried this shit with me, I gave it to him real bad. I told him that all the time he will be disturbing someone for sex and that when the real deal starts, that he cannot even make a girl scream. I told him that why I dont look forward to being with him is because he is an indomie man that cant satisfy a wood let alone a human being. That a real man makes a lady cum and since he hasnt been able to make me cum, that he is not a real man. He just blocked my number since then. Can you imagine?
DeleteHahahahaha good you finished him
DeleteHahahaha
DeleteChidi you is wicked😂😂😂😂😂
Deletebut you know u just called urself a wood?
DeleteOne ex tried to use that line to cripple my mount zion ego, forever bright & stable like the sun, ego that only sleeps when the sun gives way to the moon... Ask me what i did na? We werent officially dating, we hung out a few occasions aspa i was in a new town na, she formed tour guard.... then undies gave way for bulldozer to plough the bushes & grease the road, afterwards like most girls out there she felt i now owe her something, started stating a long toilet roll of problems, so i asked "are u indirectly asking for payment for sex? I hate to think what that makes you".... see insults flying all over the place till it landed on my 45-60mins sex tool with high performance!
DeleteI just told her... my dear, 70% of ladies will never experience what an orgasm feels like, even if u meet the best pornstar in the world, if you doubt it... try & make yourself cum, you cant even accomplish that yourself then you expect a foreign body to, im i a magician? she shut up!!!!
Anon 17:25 why did you go anonymous, i know who you are.
DeleteNo she didn’t call herself a wood read again. 17:12.
DeleteAnon 17:25, I orgasm courtesy of a vibrator, head or fingers. Everytime.
DeleteOr u mean 45 to 60 sec sex time.
DeleteThanks be to God that you've seen the light finally. Please don't let anyone make you feel less confident about yourself.
ReplyDeleteA wise dwarf from Game of thrones said to a bastard "Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not, wear it like an armour & it can never be used to hurt you"... he was right!
ReplyDeleteGood thing you had the courage to end that charade before he puts your less self esteem in a blender, those slay queens ure ogling can possibly be more miserable than you are, thats what instagram is meant for, which other purpose? I know you skipped that part where u offered him cookie, but its usually afterwards they tend to see things clearer, thats how the cookie crumbles!
I don't care whether you have eaten cookie or not, if you touch my self confidence, you will begin to crawl by the time I'm done with you. Hian, self confidence is the best thing you got in life, don't let no one destroy it. Due to hormonal drugs i was taking in order to conceive, one auntie all the way from Nigeria sent me a message that I need to go to the gym that I'm too fat. Auntie how many kids have you got? Are you not concern dt I got non? Any way ma, you can't compare TTC to bleaching. I will rather have a Mark from child birth than body cream. Auntie has not spoken to me in three years o. She called to tell my sister that I insulted her. Babe, don't let no man deal your confidence a blow. Be yourself no matter how you look.
DeleteI'm happy you have moved on. Hold your head up high. No one is as beautiful as you are. Forget the gram and all, all that is for show.
ReplyDeleteTake time to work on your self esteem and the perfect one will come for you soon.
Good you let him go...His not worth it.
ReplyDeleteSocialmediaawardsng
To vote @stelladimokokorkus as BLOGGER OF THE YEAR
Text sma18 stella to 33352
sweedy run as far as your legs can carry you. I understand all what you're going through believe me I do but you know what? you intimidate him in every area and the best way he can still make you feel he a king is to bring down your self esteem, which he actually succeeded. Let him go completely believe me it won't be easy as you now feel no one will want you, he a very wicked guy, he played with your mind and got you right at it. you know what only losers bring others down so to feel good about himself, so you dated a loser. Never ever let any of his words to you make you lose that confidence you had okay. take your confidence back and let him know he never got to you. you dodge a bullet dear.
ReplyDeleteThank God you ended the situationship, he should go and meet his thick ex girlfriend, if the ex was that good, why didn't he end up with her.
ReplyDeletePls don't let any one make you feel less about yourself, no one should be in charge of your life and happiness except you. Be strong dear and pls don't accept the manipulator back whenever he comes begging, don't allow toxic people into your life anymore.
And yes, you will heal and get back your old self. God help you 😍😍😍😍😍
Poster great thing you left the relationship. The guy is toxic and better you get rid. On the other hand, I think you are now ready for a proper relationship. You see, sometimes it's good to go through these kind of relationship to learn how toxic other people can be. It's better he shown you now than you realizing this after tying the knot. So don't be down; hold your head high and deal with your insecurities. Beginning to discuss your insecurities with friends. Wear your marks with pride. Stop your emotions from playing the victim. Men with scars aint ashamed to show them. We show them to say how much of a warrior we used to be. Embrace yourself and believe me the right man will turn your injured spot to his comfort zone. He will kiss it daily and tell you how beautiful you are. Just make sure you are not a shallow person yourself because let me tell you, if you are, you will attract similar kinds of people. Let this serve as an example as well to you and others how little comments can destroy other people's lives. Good luck Poster and remember to keep your head high..
ReplyDeleteGood you put an end to such relationship.
ReplyDeleteHe may come back but never try going back to him. A man who loves you should be able to appreciate you the way you are even if you resemble a bulldog, take no shit from a grown man in a baby's body.
ReplyDeleteWait... so are you now calling her a bulldog? Lobapari!!!
DeleteUna don start, please don't drag me now.
DeleteAh poster run very far away this person right here is insecure and wants to bring you down to his level. Didn't he see you when he approached you for a date.if he truly loves you as you said he should also love your stature and complexion.but I blame you a bit cos he started all this comparison when you had gotten involved.some men are sheeps in wolf clothing while women have to be patient and not give in easily no matter the sweet talk
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm, this is so my Ex. He will look for every opportunity to remind me of how poor my family is and how he is doing me a favor by dating me with my baggage! Thank your stars because u just dodged a bullet!💯👍
ReplyDeletehmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
ReplyDeleteThank Heavens you were wise enough to leave such toxic relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt's only an insecure minded man that would talk you down. Good you realised you're much more than what portrays you to be. Keep your head up and forge ahead.
ReplyDeleteA guy I met made me feel insecure until I gave myself sence.ordinarilly,i wouldn't have fallen for his kind of person but things happen anyway.so about four months I was waiting for him to define the relationship because he wasnt acting like just a friend.i could sense that he wanted something but wasn't saying it.note that the worst thing a guy will do to a lady is leave her to assume they are dating or in a relationship.she needs you to say it and of course that's how it ought to be.so on a faithful day I went to his place and whole hearthedly gave him a light hug only for him Moments later to tell me he wants to get between my legs that he got aroused.what! Seriously I felt insulted and I asked him get in between my legs as who or what are we. and he couldn't even answer to that and that was one of my intentions of visiting him to clare things.he went on this way until I cut off for my sanity.i cannot come and be assuming and playing second fiddle.bottom line is guys should make sure they are ready and secure enough before reaching out to a girl
ReplyDeleteHe doesnt want relationship doesnt mean he doesnt get aroused..... dont say u gave him light hug, you must have used your boobs, dont lie... and u dressed well too, dont lie!
DeleteYou want relationship & he doesnt! He wants sex and you dont without commitment!
No hard feelings! No one deserves to be insulted.
He deserves to be insulted because the babe is not a call girl...
Deletewetin carry you go the boy house? what are u hugging him for? Is that not green light?
DeleteHow did he make u feel insecure? simply because he wasnt asking u out? Na wa o.....
Well done poster. This is to mention that my best segment is chronicles of blog readers. When BV's advice others. I learn each day from them.
ReplyDeleteToday lesson is that spoken words might kill faster than bullet. So Zaram mind what u say to others, they might take it more serious than u can imagine.
Oh shuush. So you trying to trivialize the issues around emotional abuse? Wait till you or your sisters experience it. Then you will understand what it means to be made to feel insufficient enough or insecure about yourself
DeleteDo you really know how beautiful you are?
ReplyDeleteThe spirit of the Lord lives and dwell in you.
All around the world, no one looks like you
Put a smile on your face.
You are beautiful, you are beautiful.
....but she didnt attach a picture to the chronicle na! Where you see am?
Delete😂 😂. I no see o!
DeleteOne word he is nothing but a bloody NARCISSIST! !that is what they do they love bomb yo,shower you with so much love initially thtbyou are lovestruck,when they are certain you have surrendered there mask falls off,then you see the real demon that they are,narcissist are more of emotional abusers than physical abusers,ladies beware!!they don't have a cure,the only behavioural disorder with no cure,Google!
ReplyDeleteOne word he is nothing but a bloody NARCISSIST! !that is what they do they love bomb yo,shower you with so much love initially thtbyou are lovestruck,when they are certain you have surrendered there mask falls off,then you see the real demon that they are,narcissist are more of emotional abusers than physical abusers,ladies beware!!they don't have a cure,the only behavioural disorder with no cure,Google!
ReplyDeleteDear poster, pls do not let anyone make u feel less than who you are.
ReplyDeleteI am an extremely slim lady with flat ass, as in flat ass. My waist is size 25 and my hip is size 34, but my dear, i dress for my body type, i carry myself high, though my body is not curvy, i made it not the only thing i have to offer, i studied hard.
I am a lawyer and now a civil servant.
If i meet people, i make sure the impression i give is “wow, she is smart”. When you hear me have meaningful conversations, you would forget how slim i am.
In all, develop yourself and dress for your body type. If life gives you lemons, be proud of them and turn them to lemonades.
I am married now, with 2 kids, but my waist is still size 25 and my hip just went an inch up after five years of marriage, my hip is now size 35, people do not believe that i gave birth to those kids. Anybody that tells me i am too slim, i tell them many women are dying to have my kind of body, after 2 kids and i still look like this.
So get ur answer ready for people with his kind of mentality, if they tell you 1, tell them 2,3,4. Good luck!
You've got good ratio.9inches different between your waist and hips...I used to be like that but after two kids my hips is now 47inches 🙎
DeleteVery good hourglass ratio sef.. to think u dont know?
DeleteHmmm thanks annonymouses u just boosted my moral. I have always felt i wasnt shapely, jst that i have self confidence, so didnt let it bother me, even when people call me figure 1. Thanks once again
DeleteImagine!!!
DeleteSee 25 inch waist and 35 inch hips!!!!
What people are drinking and injecting and starving themselves for.
Abeg rock your body with pride.
The person who will call that kind of figure, figure 1 probably looks like a stuffed toy.
I've always said people who go about putting people's body size/shape down are mentally sick.
Those are great stats. Model range.
DeleteYou did the right thing.Don't ever allow anyone bring you down.
ReplyDeleteGirl, you're a star...& no joker should tell you less...glitter like diamonds!
ReplyDelete