STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE GOSSIPING NEIGHBOUR
I need advice on this issue.
I don't even know what to do because my husband told me to stop talking about him to outsider which is not true, I am an introvert. I have an online business I do from home, I have delivery guys and at times I do deliveries myself when there is need for it so its not as if I am not busy. She went to tell my husband that I said she should help me tell him that I want a shop or so, I don't even know what to type again.
My husband said I shouldn't confront her but I am ready to confront her about it. Pls what do I do?
I need advice on this issue.
My neighbour who happens to always follow my husband in the morning to drop on her way to work has been telling my husband bad bad things about me, unknowingly to me that she has been telling my husband that I said I am planning to move out with all his belongings and my kids anytime soon...
she said I told her my husband has concubines outside that I want to start cheating on him too. Note that she is happily married although she has been trying to conceive for some years now.
Now the problem is, I have never talked about my marriage to this woman or we talking in general, just the normal greetings in the compound and her playing with my kids. Although my husband and I have been having a slight issue which all homes encounter, maybe that's why she was able to penetrate my husband because naturally he is a quiet person and decided to tell me everything she said.
I was amazed at the audacity and lies against me to my hubby. Just of recent my husband bought me a car and she said why won't I tell her after a month that he got the car for me, that its the proper thing for me to tell the neighbours that I have a car ooo and I apologized immediately because I didn't want her to term it to something else.
I don't even know what to do because my husband told me to stop talking about him to outsider which is not true, I am an introvert. I have an online business I do from home, I have delivery guys and at times I do deliveries myself when there is need for it so its not as if I am not busy. She went to tell my husband that I said she should help me tell him that I want a shop or so, I don't even know what to type again.
My husband said I shouldn't confront her but I am ready to confront her about it. Pls what do I do?
*The only way you can prove yourself is to confront her and by confronting her you will also hear what your darling hubby said whilst she was telling him.
You need to pull her to one corner and ask her....Your hubby also needs to stop giving her lifts otherwise this will not stop at all...
Then again your hubby will cause problems if you ask her but i have a feeling that a can of worms will open up if you do,otherwise why will he tell you not to ask her?He should have told her immediately that he would ask you....And it looks like it wasnt a one day gossip...
Perhaps they might have a thing or two cos this kind of gossip is rare....
If you are "confronting her" do it in the presence of your husband and with his permission. You both have to combine as one you are and expose her -assuming your husband is "clean".
ReplyDeleteThen, keep your children away from her else them go chop the one wey go make them disappear from you.
Why would your husband tell you not to confront her? What kinda child's play is that? Are you sure your husband is not the one causingvthis whole palavar? Madam you need to confront her and know who is lieing between your husband and the woman o. Don't be surprised your husband forged everything
DeleteI will use style ask her in her husband's presence. After that, tell your hubby that your body no gree you to keep quiet, blame it on Devil as usual. Who knows you might be saving that woman's husband indirectly.
Delete2nd option, tell your hubby to stop carrying her period. Inukwa, this kinda lies can scatter family. May God help you and learn to control your tongue.
Unless your hubby is hiding something
Delete@ Modella...it is 'lying' not 'lieing' ok?.#straightface
Delete@negromanuels
DeleteYou be fake sic.?
Madam, are you living in Warri? Most Women living in that area does this. It is a pity that your husband would give a listening ear to an obviously jealous woman. Let him stop giving her a lift and you Must confront her in his presence. PERIOD!
DeletePoster confront her! With or without your husband's permission. The gossip is too deep to allow it slide like that.
DeleteBetter still, ask her husband to warn his wife. Shikena
Allow me to use your space.
DeleteMadam poster, confront the lady. But be wise about it. Have your phone recorder on. So she can't turn the table against you later and say you said what you did not say.....lol.
But if you decide to take the high road and keep quite about it, you never know what next she will lie against you with.
After you have confronted her, play the tape to your husband to exonerate yourself, else he may never believe or trust your truthfulness again. Tell him that you had to confront her, as you couldn't live with all the lies she told against you.
Cry if you have to.
#my2cents
Mmmmmmmhhhhhh!
ReplyDeleteFork dey smell ooo?
anyone carry fork chop?
See me see wahala.... That woman is a 😈 oooo, don't Let ur husband drop her again
ReplyDeleteHubby will be exposed in this expose'
ReplyDeleteAbi o. Her husband is also guilty of the offence. Some men do gossip too o. Poster I'll advice you to confront the lady in question. Don't be too quick to believe everything your husband tells you
DeleteIn my opinion, the poster should call a meeting and invite even the gossip' s husband. You need not tell your husband. Just call the meeting when he's around and trash out this issue once and for all then tell her you are not comfortable with her closeness with your husband no matter the outcome of the meeting. Also tell her to stop joining your husband to work.
Deletewhy will you allow another woman join your husband to work and now she feels so comfortable to speak ill of you to your husband,and you had to apologise for not telling her that your husband got you a car,what kind of person are you,please take a stand and don't allow another married whore destroy your home,she has already passed her message by accusing you of what she intends doing,I'm very sure your husband is having affair with her,invite both her hubby to the meeting with church or family members your husband respects but they have to be people whom you trust,the annoying thing is that your husband encouraged her all the way,please be very prayerful and start vengeance prayer so that all her evil intent will backfire.
DeleteI don't tell your hubby, for the woman to be convenient with gossiping you to your hubby, there's probably something going on between them
ReplyDeleteThe husband is also a gossip. I don't trust him. If not how can one be so comfortable saying trash about you to your husband. Abeg o
DeleteBoth of are gossipers.
DeleteThe woman and hubby will be expose,so becareful when confronting her..
Your hubby is also a gossiper
There is no word like "gossiper". You call somebody who gossips "a gossip".
DeleteMeanwhile, only God know what your husband has also downloaded to her. Speak to her in your husband's presence.
Since she says bad things about your husband, just her to say those things again and secretly record them.
ReplyDeleteOverfamiliarity breeds what?
ReplyDeleteWhy would your husband ask you not to confront her? Is it because he believes her? Also, why was she so comfortable enough to tell you husband those things, what did they discuss to that point. Well I’m not you but after that thing I won’t allow my husband carry her to work because she is clearly trying to cause more rift between you two.
What’s her business with what your hubby did for you or not? You eve apologized as per he borrowed money from her? Learn to draw lines and if you’ve been telling any outside unknowingly about your family issues you need to stop. Your husband is supposed to have stopped her from talking so much about you too because I don’t understand why he’d allow her say so much, must he carry her to work? When you people say someone is happily married, what is the criteria? How is this person happy and still saying things that are not her concern? Ngwanu, you too go and tell her husband to warn his wife to mind her business if confronting is going to be an issue for your husband. This is how married people have affairs without their partners knowing, na so e dey start. Maybe she wants your hubby to help her sha but forgive me for jumping the gun if I’m wrong.
Over to you the married ones. Lemme sit and see the comments rolling in.
ReplyDeleteThis is a case of ur husband washing ur neighbors Ponyor...u can bet it with me.. Ur husband also, has said slot about you to the woman in question... Don't be angry if you found out that both are licking and sucking each other.
ReplyDeleteMadam,, as for me,, why not wait until u get ET the fact, do as ur husband has told u.. Pretend to be a fool, if not, if u confront her, if matter burst,, both go duck each other well we'll for ur back and u won't know.. Ur husband will not even give her a ride again and u will think it has finished like what Jesus said in the cross of calvary
Your husband must have asked her a couple of questions also, she wont just download him all that if he didnt show interest.... thats why he dsnt want you to confront her!
ReplyDeletePoster that your husband may be chopping something from that your neighbor, you and your husband need to have a deep talk with each other, he should stop giving her lift else you will confront her
ReplyDeleteMeet her own husband, tell him to caution his wife, tell him to warn her about peddling gossip to your husband.
ReplyDeleteNo need carrying your neighbor to one side to confront. Confront both of them including her husband together to know what both of them are saying behind your back.
ReplyDeleteAlso stop her from following your husband. Let her 🐴 band go get his own car.
No vex face me una dey stay or na barracks wey all of una dey see every time.
Mind your business is not a sin but some people will not hear
hmmmmmmm...poster your hubby and neighbor are doing muegbesuebgbe....this is what we call ASUAAAAA nor suwe ekita
ReplyDeleteLol... Enwanta nor o
DeleteFear Neighbour kaii madam if you confront her she will definitely tell you ya horseband wanna sleep with her while As she's the one looking for a way to sleep with ya horseband.. tell ya Oga to stop giving her lift she's DJ- Demonic. And jezebel...
ReplyDeleteLol, get ready to be shocked poster
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I will join them for the ride one morning as if I am going their way and start casually repeating and refuting all she said in the presence of both of them.
I will tell her that I do not take kindly to gossips, that she cannot claim to be my friend and keeping telling lies about me, so I want to know what brought up all these?
Watch your husband's reaction. There in lies your answer.
She's jealous. She's not happy in her marriage, she feels you have the perfect marriage, so she wants to destroy yours. Confronting her is the right thing to do, your husband should be there when you do it. He should stop taking her along, let her look for another alternative.
ReplyDelete#NoAtikuNoBuhari
This is serious. Madam, this neighbor of yours wants to cause confusion in your home. Please tell your husband to end all forms of communication with her. I also agree with Stella that you should confront her.
ReplyDeleteYou need to confront her, she even get liver to be saying things that isn't her business. You sure sey there is nothing more to it, pls ask her and know all the secrets BTW them because I don't know why a working class "happily married" woman will have that kind of time to be saying rubbish, so what if she isn't working?. And make sure he stops carrying her to work pls or you report her to her husband but this one your husband said no confronting, get as it be 😎😎😎😎😎
ReplyDeleteWarn her in the presence of her husband, u never can tell with women of nowadays and their motives, maybe her husband has fertility problems and wants to lure your hubby to sleep with her so she can get pregnant sef, only God knows! Cos I can’t trust anyone ! Moreover y is ur hubby saying don’t ask her? Does he owe her or is he sleeping wit her? Stop that everyday lift ur hubby gives her ! She wants to ruin your home nd stop talking to anyone about ur family, maybe it’s the genettalk u guys talked about that she coined all her nonsense from, give her space abeg, u even apologised to the silly woman cos u didn’t tell her ur hubby got u a car? Better get sense now nd put her in her place
ReplyDeleteNo need for confrontation. You only have your husband to confront. The lifting should STOP. Stand your ground. On no circumstance should both of them be seen together outside the compound again. Accuse your husband of sleeping with the woman, tell him that even the woman's husband is suspecting him. You know its all lies. You need to boss him to a corner. He will be afraid to carry her again in order to save himself and marriage. If the lifting stops, all this gossips will stop. If you confront the woman, you might hear things you don't want to hear. Serious quarrel might breed in.
ReplyDeleteSomething is definitely going on between the two of them. But what did I know. First confront her and then take it from there.
ReplyDeleteYou and your husband should have a meeting /confrontation with her and husband.
ReplyDeleteThe spouses of both parties should be present and have a mature conversation about it.
Don't go there with strife in mind. Go there with the mindset of discovering the truth and putting her in a position where she won't EVER EVET talk about your matters Ever .
Your husband should also tell her and her husband that he would stop giving lifts, not because he is unforgiving , but because you want to avoid strife.
After this, your relationship with her should be strictly formal. Greet her and move on speedily. Let it never exceed "good morning "
Speak to your husband and convince him of the need to speak with the gossiping neighbour and her husband.
Don't give the neighbour notice of your coming oooooohhhh. Just target a Sunday when you know she and her husband are around.
You need to proof your marriage over issues of distrust and resent, by confronting this head-on. Don't joke with this.
Go there, your husband should start the conversation by saying "you told me this and that, saying my wife told you all of these..... I spoke to my wife about it and she said it is untrue". So WE decided to come to you to address this issue.
This will show that you and your husband have a United front. If she is happy in her home, then you also deserve to be happy and not compromise your happiness in ANYWAY!!! !!!!!!!!
I await your feedback, let us know how this ends.
You need to do this so that your husband can continue trusting you. He needs to know you as his partner is reliable and trustworthy. Please have the conversation.
God will help you and touch your husband's heart to see the wisdom of following you to address the issue
Your husband has been discussing you with the woman and saying things about you in a bad way, that is the only Thing that will give her the liberty to feed him lies about you so as to validate his point:that you are not a good wife. The woman might have also mentioned her husband's bad side. Both parties are forming pity parties, gearing up for an affair. Confront them both with the other woman’s husband present. You will be surprised what your quiet husband has been up to. Knowing is always better than living in the dark. EM
ReplyDeleteStop your husband from dropping her completely!!! This is exactly what happened to my sisters friend till the neighbor got pregnant and her own husband threw her out with a new born baby. women are so good at bringing each other down.confront her with wisdom immediately
ReplyDeleteSome women get liver sha. Those manipulative ones should even be feared the most because they will appear harmless but make sure that they carry out their evil plans.
DeletePoster i still beloeve your husband forged those allegations. You said in your write up with hat you and ur husband have been having issues. I think he said those things so as to know your stand in d marriage and also see your reactions. Some men are like that. Well, It's better you confront her so as to know who your real enemies are.
ReplyDeleteSimple solution. Your husband should STOP giving her a lift! Why will your husband be giving another man's wife a lift steadily in his car? You mean she sits beside him on the journey? No wonder she has the guts! Warn him not to carry her again. If you see her trying to enter, go and drag her out! What nonsense!
ReplyDeletePoster, for that your neighbour to lie these much to your hubby, trust me, both of them have something in common. And why did you even allow your hubby to be giving her lift almost all the working day? Stop her from entering your hubby's car, she's bad mouthing you because she must have tasted your banana and you said that your hubby is the quiet type yet he withstands another woman gossiping his dear wife. Pls, confront that home breaker in the presence of her husband let the kasara burst!
ReplyDeleteDon't confront her to avoid extra trouble for you. You might hear stuff said by your husband about you that wouldn't like. But, cut the link permanently because the familiarity is already beyond boundary.
ReplyDeleteIs she a kid that she should be avoiding troubles being caused by others?
DeleteAdults solve problems. Only cowards flee!
Hasty decisions, actions and words are not always the best options.
DeleteSome time, confronting people because you were hurt does not give the best results. Sometimes you might decide to be silent and calm over issues that you’re not comfortable with does not make you stupid or coward.
Exchange of words in the heat of anger most times will get you more hurt and embittered. There are different ways to fight battles and win it
Wisdom is profitable to direct. Allowing tensions to calm down does not mean cowardice.
Adults don't create more problems.
This case is too serious for one to act like a coward.
DeletePlease read up anon 15:31's comment. That's wise and the way to go.
Tell me, when the devil is your case do shrink and keep mum or you take action by taking it to God so that He can abort the plan of the devil?
Here we can all see that unhappy woman working overtime just to destroy poster's peace.
Now if poster's husband had handled this issue well right from the moment she opened her mouth, I would be dishing the keep mum advise but that isn't the case. He ought to have shut that woman from her first statement. Since he didn't, the wicked is going to turn that crack in the wall into a big hole.
Poster let your husband know that you're no longer okay with the 'free rides' he has been offering her. Let it cease altogether. Avoid whatever contacts with that woman including your kids.
DeleteAnd please stop apologizing to the one who is doing wrong. na u dey give that woman free hand to take misbehave. Do the confrontation in the presence of your husband and hers. Let everybody take dressing. I don't trust your husband either.
Some women self... What's her problem with you? Guess she's just jealous... Your husband should be careful
ReplyDeleteHeiiiiii I have missed this blog oo..Am back and better now..I have missed Stella and everyone on this blog..biko what's the latest ehh🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteYour hubby is also a gossiper..
ReplyDeleteGiving room for an outsider to gossip about her wife shows something is fishy.
His hands are not pure..
Both of them are in the game together.
It's 'gossip' people. GOSSIP. She's a gossip. Where the hell did y'all get 'gossiper' from? English 101.
Deleteplease call her and her husband to come to your house and thrash the matter once and for all. make everyone stay their lane. thank God you work from home and can have time to look after your kids. let her stop following your husband. i dont relate with neighbours pass hi or hello.
ReplyDeleteChoi...see adults behaving like children ooo..what brought about all this? Some people sabi disrespect themselves sha. I don't think poster is an introvert like she said neither is the husband a respectable person. Imagine dropping neighbour turn gossip town and getting a new car brought about announcement to the whole neighbourhood. Poster are you a child who doesn't know left from right?
ReplyDeleteSee as the women and stella for this club just dey "cum" up and down for the woman husband,shuooo,i swear women are Petty, real super Petty, so the husband must be having something to hide shebi,una mumu na first class.
ReplyDeleteYour husband doesn't talk and he had to stay and listen to another woman say trash about his wife and he had the guts to tell you not to confront her? I won't say if it were me though, but what I have to tell you is this, on a Sat morning go to their house with ur husband's knowledge (he may not give his consent) talk about it with her, with your phone recording every convo you guys will have.
ReplyDeleteSocialmediaawardsng
To vote @stelladimokokorkus as BLOGGER OF THE YEAR
Text sma18 stella to 33352
Your husband is huncle Lai Mohammed's Dean of faculty. He asked the "innocent" TTC woman out and she said no. Or he is planning to ask her out and wants to create a bias (against her) in case she turns him down and decides to gist you when she stops riding with him and you demand an explanation. Your husband is "quiet" my left ass! You are the quiet one and he knows it. Otherwise, he won't have the guts to spill such balderdash, forbid you to confront her whilst still giving her a ride. Haba!!! When Amadiaoha and Sango are looking for who to strike down with garnished thunder. Madam, no let dem play you like ludo. If heaven wan fall, make e fall o; my warri people say we go chest am. Scatter the matter so that you can rearrange it abeg. This is 2018 AD. Jesus died that we may have sense and have it more abundantly.
ReplyDeleteLmao... Anon 17:49 oil dey your head.
DeleteToo much oil
Delete
ReplyDeleteMost of the people giving advice here are women and you people are always emotional and most of the time, less logical.
There is always 3 parts to every matter:
Your view;
My view and
The truth.
Here, there is the truth which the husband knows but the two women dont know for now. The husband may want to be sleeping with the neighbour ( very possible). I am a man and I know most men are weak sexually. A small girl of 15 years can lure a Pastor to have sex with her, this is next to being impossible with a woman, a woman can refuse to do such. Such is the degree of a man's weakness.
Another point you should note today is whenever you have an issue with your husband, you have just primed him for bad behaviour because any temptation around that time will sail through successfully.
He could have said or done some bad things with the other lady (note that this is an assumption, so dont act on it yet). Therefore, this is my advice for you.
1. Dont react based on what he told you yet. Just set your machinery in motion to keep your home well first.
2. Keep you husband. Settle your rancour. Men are weaker than you people think. Just as Okey Bakasi(comedian said that men have two alternating brains, the real one and teh dic*k). Men can fall for the slimmest temptation. Keep your home under any circumstance. Fighting the woman is not your priority.
3. Stop your husband from being close to her. You can do this by giving him more attention, show him love, care, etc. Give him surprises and while doing that tell him to stop being close to that woman.
4. Ask him the whole truth. He is in the best position to explain everything to you, however, if he fails to tell you, dont fight the other woman because you got a third party reporting, it might not be true entirely.
5, When the opportunity comes, with the support of your husband or in his presence, ask the woman. This is the last phase. It may happen and may not happen.
Finally, what is really important is your home. So, the woman is an extraneous variable. Not important. She might be eyeing your home especially because she needs a child, your husband might be an option for her.
Honestly, poster follow this advice.
DeleteMost women do not understand the level of power they have over a man.
Get your husband completely on your side before confronting your neighbor.
Confront her in the presence of your husband.
ReplyDeleteReport her to her husband.
Keep your children away from her. If she can lie against you, she can harm you and your Family.
Poster, BEWARE
Your husband stoops low to hear gossip about his wife and dosent say shut up!
ReplyDeleteYour husband gives neighbour a ride every day!
Ha. You are patient. Trash this nonsense out. Your husband isn’t man enough to stop it. He is busy listening to nonsense and has the effrontery to come and tell you what he “heard”.
Take charge. End it. No more rides. Everybody should maintain their lane.
Why is she still following your husband to work? Your husband too is a gossip. Any responsible man will call both of you immediately and clear whatever -ve vibes.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to stop joining your husband to work. There are three ways to do this.
ReplyDelete1. Confront her alone with a recording device and ask her about what your husband said. Ensure she spills it all out
2. Confront her in the presence of your husband with or without his permission. Better if you can get her husband to be there also
3. Confront her husband and ask him to warn his wife from trying to break up your home with her lies and gossips.
Anyhow you choose to do it is a how, just don't let it go like your husband said. Clear your name and clear your conscience
Confront her openly & in front of ur husband. Also stop ur husband from close contacts alone or in the car with that woman.
ReplyDeleteThis is a professional witchcraft attacks where they stir up troubles, tell lies, spread rumours & gossip to poison someone's life & make them look bad.
Please quickly put an end to ur close contacts & physical interaction with such person. No be only lies & gossip & rumours oh, poison & direct sabotage to ur life too fit join in the attack.
No matter the issues you are having with your husband, I do not understand why he is still giving lift to someone who spoke ill of you. Its normal to have spats once in a while with your spouse but if you have a good marriage your husband should not have sat their and listened to the trash coming out of her mouth and still came and told you. Put your feet down, he should stop taking her to work. Thats a decision he should have come to by himself immediately she started talking trash about you. Pele. Dont confront the woman, too emotional. Just tell him gently that since the woman is trying to cause issues in your home you think its beeter she stops joining him to work. If he refuses, then Madam you have a bigger problem
ReplyDeleteWell I think the husband is lying. I think he asked the woman for sex and she said no, so the husband is cooking stories to spoil the woman to his wife. The husband is scared that the woman will report to his wife hence he’s doing all that rubbish. That’s the reason he asked the wife not to confront the poor woman. Dare ask that woman and you’ll hear how ur husband told her he’ll chase u away and marry her. Your husband is lying ma’am.
ReplyDeleteAnybody heard of narcissistic disorder?
ReplyDelete