Men these days don't play the role of CSO effectively
As children we always felt safe when our Dad was at home. He played the role of a father and chief security officer very well. My dad always made such the doors and gates were locked at night. And he would wake up very late at night to check again just in case anybody went out and forgot to lock up.
I have noticed that men these days don't play the role of CSO effectively. In my home I noticed how my husband would leave us in the living room and go straight to bed. Even when he wakes up at night to wee he doesn't even move around the house to check if everywhere is secured. But I do that, so I called his attention to it and nothing really changed.
I thought it was just my husband's way until I heard some women talking. One was talking about how she changes light bulbs in the house and fixes other electrical problems like their DVD and blender. The other one was talking about how she is the one that pulls the generator in the house, I didn't like that at all. So I asked her if her husband would sit and allowed her to be pulling the Gen, she said yes.
I said if na me we all go dey darkness, my hubby almost tried that with me, he would say things like babe please can you help me put on the Gen I'm busy with (He will give one heavy excuse) Me ke? Gen I didn't pull in my father's house as a young girl when the waist never dey do many things na now I go come dey do that? No o. Thank God I have two power banks and I can bear heat. When its time for him to watch the news he will put on the gen.
I'm a woman and I love being one, as a matter of fact I love being girly, and I'm not going to let one man give me muscles.
The locking of gate and doors i do because of my family's security.
There are so many things I don't do, not because I am wicked but because I feel there should be some advantages in having a man in the house.
What has happened to our men? First they said we should share the financial responsibilities in the house, we agreed. Now they are leaving the masculine responsibilities and tomorrow they will start saying I'm the man of the house.
Man of the house no be by mouth Oga draw that Gen.
*lol
Don’t blame the men of this days
ReplyDeleteI have also find out that mothers enjoy their kids when they are all grown up and staying alone than the fathers.so fathers of today will have to enjoy and take good care of themselves while the kids are still young
THESE days
Deletealso FOUND out
DONT mind them, they will be looking for respect but will not play the role. The main thing is never start it, once you can na you go dey do am. A friend complained that her hubby was away and she started doing things herself, when he came back those things still became her work even when he was back. See me that started servicing my car, now it has become my work, the thing don taya me.
DeleteEven when it comes to the kids it’s the same thing, thank God I have elder ones, I learnt a lot, don’t start what you can’t finish. Men have the tendency to dash women their work.
Iya ibeji good for you that you have a husband that's always around. If you have my type that's always on location,then you no you have to man up and do these things without blinking an eye. My hubbyndose not even no when the gen needs servicing,not to talk of repairing it. I do all the maintenance work around my home. The only thing i don't do is service the cars or do renewal of papers. Will just pack anyone that's bad or expired paper till whenever he comes back. Am not forced to do these things,but i do it because it's necessary and i can do it and have the time.
DeleteMen are scum..
DeleteWait
DeleteThe feminists are coming
@Sky
DeleteHow many "scums" don pound you this year; talk true?
Where is the feminist coming from? Some peeps sef, so cos she said men are scum it means shez a feminist? Biko grow up jor
DeleteAnon 14:52.. abeg park well! My husband is hardly around but he made sure to brief and regularly tip the compound maiguard on my behalf. Na that one dey turn gen on and off..i don't even know when NEPA has gone off most times cos he is quick to put it on. Maiguard buys fuel, wash car as well as other helps that requires a manly input! That's what a responsible husband should do. Not abandoning his responsibilities and claiming location. Women like you are the ones spoiling these men!
DeleteMy uncle is the man of the house and he has never failed to carry out his tasks judiciously. My SIL cannot change bulb, on the gen or even lace her children's shoes after washing. It's either she waits for me or the husband to do that. I love my uncle like that
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
See all of the shouting manly duties. If you say women duties they will starting screaming sexist
DeleteWhats there in drawing gen kwanu?😕It could be either of u so this one no follow abeg.
ReplyDeleteI cannot draw gen to save my life.
DeleteExcept it's key start.
Haaaa sandy, I can't draw gen...plus if it's mikano gen, sorry, even that change over dash board they fear me to touch.
DeleteI can draw gen,change light bulb,change bad plug,service gen sef.
DeleteI wait for no one.
Since I marry I don lazy sef
Well all these things are not issues oh. I do all that biko. After all most of them fall under my discipline, so why wait 4 hubby to do them. Just like on Sunday hubby dose not expect me to cook or enter the kitchen. It's an unwritten rule. Kitchen is his whenever he's around,and when not around he provides the money to eat out.
DeleteWhere are the feminists here?
ReplyDeleteIya ibeji want to pour sand in your garri o
A feminists can lift a bag of beans o...cos it's a taboo if a man helps. Hehehehe abeg o
DeleteYou people will never cease to amaze me. There's nothing wrong in a woman doing these things but will the man equally do stuff around the house? Or will he sit down and let everything be done for him. Now that is what is wrong. There needs to be equality in house chores too. My 2 kobo. No 1 feminist of sdk blog.
DeleteI thought you will even write about "getting the bag of rice or beans to the house" when you talked about "muscles".
ReplyDeleteMen who allow their wives do these things are foolish. When women complained about food in the scriptures (Acts 6), Stephen and other men were appointed as food distributors. Yes, men appointed in women's matter.
But then, the ladies should also recognize that men are also the leaders of the home. If the 'CSO" says "don't go out -to so so place", then obey him. The other day, this question was raised, you were all chanting "independent, no one should cage me bla bla bla". Don't like to see this "us versus them" attitude that reeks of unhealthy competition and jealousy when gender issues arise.
If you are girly, be girly in "cooking, obedience, gentleness, kindness, humility, piety, and godliness". Don't be a hypocrite.
May GOD bless you for this comment. Hypocrite everywhere
DeleteGod bless you Anon 12:12.
DeleteYou are the only anon that is well.
Na so controlling dey start.awon off submissive wives. You can be a feminist without being bossy and rude. If they say to you that you can't vote bcos you are a woman. Will you be happy and be typing this shit?
DeleteLol. My hubby is guilty of the gate and doors being left.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes tell him that he should ensure everywhwre is locked b4 going to bed but for where?
He retires to bed b4 me sometimes so b4 i sleep, i make sure i cross check if everywhere is locked b4 going to bed.
As for the bulbs et al. That's his duty. I no dey put eye for that one.
The one that gets me angry is the ceiling fans. I grew up knowing it's the responsibility of the man to clean the ceiling fans. I don talk tire but hubby no dey move. So i left it biko.
I hate seing dirty ceiling fan but what can i do? I will never be caught cleaning ceiling fan.
If it gets too dirty, he knows what to do. I cant shout.
Sometimes his head would arrange and he'ld do the needful
Hmmmmmm but I think you should clean the ceiling fan. It is your home ma.
DeleteWhat if the Man says he can never be caught doing the dishes or in the Kitchen?
DeleteGet your house help to clean the fans. Dirty fans would just be pouring dust everywhere.
Deletei dont think that I will have a problem with those masculine chores when I get married, because I will do them without even feeling bad since I am used to it already as a single lady. My dad died when I was four, so you can understand that I am used to doing both men and women work since I am the first child and my mum is not always at home.
ReplyDeleteGod will give you good husband.
DeleteDon't allow them to deceive you with "don't on gen" campaign.
Iya ibeji need to chose a stand. Are you for equality or for gender roles? Don't get it. Confused.com
DeleteIn as much as I agree that husbands should do all these muscle stuff, there's need for the wife to at least know how to do them in case of emergency.
ReplyDeleteWhat if hubby traveled? Won't the woman put on the gen?. For me, I can draw gen, change bulbs, fix curtain rails and hooks, etc. The ones I don't know how to do(not I can't do), I leave for him.
NNE Chukwu gozie gi
Delete"Masculine responsibilities" are not exclusive to me. If you as a woman can do it please do. It's only things I can't do I call my hubby to do.
ReplyDeleteTo men*
DeleteGod bless you
DeleteI also repair the washing machine, I check the doors at night and other things I can do. If he is tired after a long days work and I am not why can't I do it? After all we preach equality these days so no be only for mouth, you sef draw that gen.
ReplyDeleteDraw Gen I no craze. Don't do that at all
ReplyDeleteWomen are trying.
ReplyDeleteComing from a home with plenty males around, na only kitchen work I sabi. Again it depends on d kinda gen or bulb u are changing. There are complex lamp holders and diesel gen, abeg I can't near them, make d thing no fling me.
I can draw the gen, change the bulbs if I want, I can refill the gas, call plumber/electrician to fix anything fixable, take my car to the mechanic, I can lift jerry cans of water, load our pre-paid meter, be the CSO atimes when he sleeps before us but I can't carry bag of rice, garri, etc. from the car. Am I not a strong woman?
ReplyDeleteIf you keep waiting for them to come back and do some of these things,nne you're on a long thing. Do the ones you can.
You are a strong woman! 🙌
Deletedont you go to work or you are always at home waiting for him?
DeleteNo mind them. Somebody say she will wait for husband to clean the ceiling fan and if not, it will remain dirty
DeleteI'm working even on Saturdays too.
Delete@Mao Akuh.
DeleteMy dear that is the way o.
I do what I got to do, to get what I need to do,done.
Success in a family unit is not due to gender roles but two people strapping on their common sense and getting work done.
The day I carried 12.5kg full gas cylinder from the car to my flat, every one's eyes open. The driver was dragging leg, winding waist to get down and open boot, probably waiting for me to cajole him to bring it to my kitchen door.
Me? Cajole? Who? Lmaoooooo.
When I not struck with epilepsy?
I don't do gender roles, I wasn't brought up like that, neither were my siblings.
And I'm going to make sure that I don't marry a lazy Nigerian man or a man struck with archaic Flinstones mentality, still believing what obtained during the time of Mungo Park is feasible in the year 2018.
Bag of rice sef, I will carry sef. Kpata kapta I will hoist it on my shoulder or something.
Not that I'm fat or large with plenty of muscle to spare, I'm a size 8.
But I don't have time or patience for plenty talk or nagging.
U don't have to fight quarrel nag as a woman,u have strong feminine powers as a woman,use it n ur home wil be more peace n your husband more loving...ladies u get?
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is a correct cso, he makes sure the gate and doors are properly locked, wakes up at any slight noise to go and check on the kids and take them out to urinate, cos once i sleep i don sleep finish be that
ReplyDeleteWhoever is available should do house chores shikena.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, my Dad would say "Mr A is waiting for Mr B, but unknown to A, B is also waiting for C".
At the end of the day, the chores are left undone.
My dad plays the role of CSO effectively. Being a security chief, he doesn't joke with the gates & doors.. He's usually on patrol around the house & a light sleeper. Many times when I observe midnight prayers, my dad is usually aware even when I'm praying in hushed tones.
ReplyDeleteThe gen? I can on it oo, even big gen to pump water. He taught me & I had no choice than to learn. I can change light bulbs, change generator oil & plug.
The kitchen sink once got blocked, before the plumber came, I had tried my hands on loosing the pipes. He came & finished it up. 😂
I like you.
DeleteHubby dey do all those chores oo. I'll just look and tell him this one and that no dey work. One time he was surprised he got back I changed the bulbs and fixed the tap...he was like, did anyone come here when I was away, did a man come here? 😂😂😂 I asked why? He said ok, who fixed the tap and changed the bulb..I told him it was me and he didn't believe it.
ReplyDeleteI learnt how to live independently from my formative years so I do all sorts that's why they call me Agunwanyi. Or Low maintenance.
ReplyDeleteMommy's halla will make you to "ji". You go wake up by force. All of us grew as men, no shaking. You graduate and face your career no matter how young in your location and in your own apartment. Straight up. Who go come dey service your car or put on gen for you? You go hear "nekwa num anya o, imaro na ogboi na enwe, ejebego ori banana". Hahahahaha. (Your mates for monkey world don dey go thief banana carry come house, all monkeys go dey chop dey jump up). You wan come siddon near her dey form baby. #oriegwu.
Climb up to readjust tv dish and antenna o. Clean out door handles, keyrings and remote controls.
Put on gen, service the small ones except copper coiling; wash oil filter, upturn to change oil, wash plug head and oil filter with fuel and fix them back. Which one I no dey do? Abi na rolling out cylinders to refill gas, washing of 2 overhead tanks?
If I call handy man and he delays I follow the basement or get flip ladder and hit the attic. I hate dirty water jor.
I've played Mummy-Daddy for some years while he was posted out of Naija but now that he's back? I do few home runs. I be "baby" intoto. If I go for groceries once I return I pick the delicate ones like creams and snack bars, he takes charge of stocking the pantry along with our housekeeper. I no dey lift bags o, my heart be doing supri supri. Kikiki.
For security? Though the security man is there and the Estate Mopols are on duty at the Main gate, the bunch of keys locking the main doors in the house rests right beside the side stool in the bedroom. He locks them himself and shines the big halogen torchlight from the balcony to the gate to make sure it is still locked before sleeping. That adage "mgbe eji akosi ana eteka"(had I known) is his favourite axiom. He lives by it. The security man takes the keys after washing in the morning when we're leaving. Shikena.
As for my Dad, his own is longnnnngggg, reason me and my sisters had to search for his kind to marry one by one. And we're good. Hahahahaha.
Men should learn to BE THE MAN. Live their balls and be in charge. We feel safe under their wings.
Singing...if you're a woman and you cannot put on generator, hide your face...
*tongue out*
All this epistle on top wetin???
DeleteSome men won't just help out with anything in the home, most women play the mummy-daddy role in the home.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is the CSO of our home. That does not mean I don't do the ones I know how to do. We are their helpers.
ReplyDeleteI'v tried learning how to draw gen bt for where? D rope no d gree folo me kpakam
ReplyDeleteMy hubby goes to bed every night with doors unlocked. I wake up and do all the locking. And to think he is a military man.
ReplyDeleteGod bless the poster! Everything written up there is exactly the truth. Hubby doesn’t care about locking the doors, maintenance of the gen or small appliances in the house. Wives these days play the role of both Mummy and daddy. His excuse is that he is making money, as if I don’t work too.mothers please train your sons well!
ReplyDelete