Every relationship is different. Compare only apples to apples. Don't compare apples to mangos. Everyone grows up through different influences and trajectory. The person then gets shaped by those things and become the person you then encounter. There are some people who do not experience certain things all through their growing up years, when that person in question then encounters a situation, that that experience should have strengthened them with, they get torn apart by the shock of it.
Some women can take polygamy. They can be second wife, 6th wife, concubine, side chick, jilted at the altar, baby mama, widow, divorced... and continue like nothing happened. While some will break down beyond consolation. Many will break up with a guy and never date again. But there are those who take it in their strides without breaking a sweat. Stop comparing your partners to other people. The fact that Gbenga takes Kemi to go see a movie every other day doesn't mean you must insist on being taken. Because, you may just be surprised that Gbenga also doesn't pay for the movies. So how about that? Will you also now pay for the movies?
Bimbo always brings food for her husband in the office. Bless her. So because of that you are now quarrelling with your wife for not bringing you food just like Bimbo. Do you know if Bimbo's husband has a medical condition that requires food that can only be made with special recipe? Don't compare your spouse to people who have not gone through the fire your spouse went through. Angela may have been brought up to believe 30 red roses matter more than a phone. Isohen may just be one who was brought up to be practical.
A phone will last longer than 100 roses. Don't let shame make you agree to what is beyond your capacity. If your colleague bought a car for his wife, are you enabled like your colleague? If David let's his wife move to Canada and he remains here, it's not compulsory for Ahmed to let his wife move to Ireland while he remains in Kaduna. It might not work. Be guided
So so true
ReplyDeleteAwesome post Alibaba 👏👏👏
ReplyDeleteWell written post, let those with ears hear...but the truth is, no matter the common sense you put out for people to learn from, those who will not learn will not learn...Be Guided positively.
ReplyDeleteLEP😛
This is sooo true.....we are all different,what works for me might not for you.....we are operating on different levels of Grace. It is well.
ReplyDeleteEven apples have over 100 different species. So pls dnt compare nada. Do ur own race.
ReplyDeleteThis is practical. Nobody should do anything to please the other person cos in the end it’s he who wears the shoe that knows where it punches
ReplyDeleteTrue ,true and all so true.
ReplyDeleteLearn to move in your lane.
Comparison is the biggest cause of frustration.
Word.
ReplyDeleteApt!! He couldn't have said it better.
ReplyDeleteWords of wisdom
ReplyDeleteMy friend advised me to dump my then fiancee that he is too controlling must I tell him where I am must he know all my friends and ask who called me every time that its toxic guess what we got married two years ago its working for me cuz I know all his friends,his movement everyday, his ATM pin which he always ask me cuz he barely remember, and I pick his calls except business calls ,as comfortable as he is I manage his finances , we both decide on which property to buy yes he is controlling butwe both have peace shikena
ReplyDeleteListening to friends about relationship advice is like shooting yourself in the foot. My married friend always wants to know what is going on in my relationship and goes mump on her own marriage. She talks of how the guy doesn't have my time and doesn't come to visit often, while I have told her the job he was doing before he was earning quite much, but now the contract ended and the job he now has doesn't pay as high. I in the relationship im not complaining. She has told me many times to dump him. And she is encouraging me daily this date this rich married man on my case. In her words'' let him be carrying us to grove weekend and lets chop his money''.
DeleteMeanwhile since we became friends 4 years now, I have never met her husband. They did marriage he went back to base abroad and hasn't been back ever since, even though he has his papers, she buys herself ticket and goes to visit him once a year. She pays her own rent, pays her babys school fees and does everything like a single mother.
Now I don't talk about him to her again. She feels we have broken up, when we want to get married I will just invite her. I have learnt to keep relationships far from friends.
My friend advised me to dump my then fiancee that he is too controlling must I tell him where I am must he know all my friends and ask who called me every time that its toxic guess what we got married two years ago its working for me cuz I know all his friends,his movement everyday, his ATM pin which he always ask me cuz he barely remember, and I pick his calls except business calls ,as comfortable as he is I manage his finances , we both decide on which property to buy yes he is controlling butwe both have peace shikena
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, so true
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely true
ReplyDeleteHonest truth..
ReplyDeletethis just touched me!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this beautiful article.
ReplyDeleteBless you
ReplyDeleteI hope someone won't be using this as an excuse to be in a bad relationship. Fact is we all have different love languages. You don't need to get stuck with someone who doesn't speak your type of love language. Relationship is made to be enjoyed not endure. Thanks
ReplyDeleteHey, you just said the whole truth. Weldone
DeleteSo true. Study what works for you and follow it
ReplyDeleteComparison is the assassin of contentment
ReplyDeleteEvery one have diff heads
ReplyDeleteWhat u can tolerate will be another person's breakdown
So true!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true,study and understand your partner very well
ReplyDeleteLike I alwyas say be true to yourself
You will definitely see the signs of any red flag you can't cope with at the long run only if you are honest with yourself and doesn't want relationship or marriage at all cost irrespective of the consequences
Know what works for you and adopt it.
You see your neighbor's husband spreading cloth outside,do you know whether it was the wife that washed it??
You saw Lanre opening the car dooor for his wife,you don't know whether the car dooor is spoilt!!!!!
Don't go picking quarrels with your partner because of what you saw others doing..
God Bless you Sir
ReplyDeleteAlibaba sounding good , holy.
ReplyDeleteRas Kimono wife who died Efemena it was Alibaba that born the only son she has
Unfaithful urhobo husband. Hiss
Stella bvs I raise my ear, hands,& bum bum for una
Delete