STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED ABOUT LE BOO...
Hello Stella.
Please I'm so confused right now, don't know what to think. I need help. Thank you...
Hello Stella.
I don't know if this qualifies for a chronicle, but I'll try. Please keep me anonymous.
Am a lady of 20,21 in few weeks, I have a boyfriend who's 30,31 in a month plus. We've been dating for a year now. I'm actually not an open person,this is my first relationship, I am inexperienced,plus it's a long distance relationship so I try to always involve him in everything.
We're or I believe we are a normal couple, so we're likely to have misunderstandings. But Sometimes I feel like he's tired of me, I feel like I don't do enough,like I don't bring anything to the table, and that's why I insisted on no s#x, so he doesn't feel like that's all I've got.
My phone was away for 3 days and after then,he has been acting weird,he's so cold now. I try to involve him in conversation yet... Nothing. We spoke 3 days ago and he said he just doesn't know what the problem is, he feels am double dating and need some space... Like am I suffocating him?
Please I'm so confused right now, don't know what to think. I need help. Thank you...
*Sounds like he is trying to friend zone you or break up.....which one is you need space?If he does not want have a conversation,please leave him alone and get busy with your life....sometimes,they always come back when they see you didnt break when they left.....
The guy needs his man food! Give and stop being only a leach!!
ReplyDeleteDon’t give him anything.
DeleteThis man isn’t ready to marry you talk more of date. A man who wants you would be okay with no sex! It might frustrate him from time to time but he wouldn’t pressure you.
Also, if you feel inadequate been with him, gather sense and leave now. Whatever you both share is not worth sleepless night or such worry. Let him go! Give him that space he so desires.
Girl, stress less! Happy birthday in advance.
Sex and distance is the main ish, plus a man that can not treat you right all because you are not giving him sex isn’t worth it, it’s time to look for another boo, don’t even break up with him, the relationship will die on its own
DeleteSDK
DeleteYour last statement is key
*They always come back when ........
Marry ke at 20 or 21? As in.... Babe concentrate on living your best life you are way too young to be having man ish already.... Date and enjoy ur life. Your biggest mistake right now will be locking yourself down. I got married at 21... Biggest mistake of my life. Babe my advise to you... Live your best life. Dont tie yourself to any man yet. Dont let any man at 21 be ur main priority. Focus on getting that coins and living your best life.
DeleteMy dear, pls move on. He couldnt reach you for three days, instead of him to be bothered about your safety, he wants space. Pls give him space forever and make yourself great and purposeful. The man that deserves you would come.
ReplyDeleteGbam!
DeleteGod bless you Nwunye.
DeleteCommunication is key in a relationship, stop assuming ASK him what's up before you will realise later that he long moved on and you've been dating yourself.
ReplyDeleteIs not easy for people who see often talk more of long distance relationship..I say again, find out whats eating him up.
That thing no fii work.. Make she move ahead..
DeleteShe go find better for front
Loll epistle gang, the thing na format na.
DeleteThis is a 31 year old man not 18,you think he doesn't even know exactly what he is doing?
Poster this is how the story will happen.
After you beg beg beg finish, he will 'reluctantly ' appear to warm up.
He will demand to see you.
You too will place iron box on your head and go.
He will tell you he is not feeling your love...distance...he doesn't think you care...there's no proof of affection...mogbe, mogbo magba...
You too, since you already feel inadequate, and feel 'you are not bringing anything to the table' will spread leg wide enough to accommodate the entire Nigerian army. At least to prove something ba?
When he is through with your proving,he will toss you like old recharge card.
But don't take my word for it o, ehen go and have your experience so that you will add it to your level of common sense.
31 year old Nigerian man dating a 21year old...my people what else is expecting on a metal plate on his table, if not her vagina. Abi is it her 6 digit salary or sterling, vivacious intellect????
Una go dey alright las las.
PS: Your phone travel for 3 days ba?
Anon 18:39, God bless you!!! I was about to say same thing too. All this is format. Poster, you feel inadequate because you’re only young. And yes, sex is the only thing you can bring to the table right now and he knows it too. That’s probably all he wants you for. The age-difference is one thing but the different stages you both are in life is another and being innocent or even being a virgin would not suffice. That guy is ready to chop you and clean mouth and he’s taking advantage of your naivety. You said you have a long distance relationship? He might be doing engaged to it even getting married to someone more on his waive length as we speak.
Delete@Anon 18:39: What do you want me to say now..
DeleteIs it not better for the guy to say it than mess her emotions up like this.Maybe its not even the relationship eating him up that's why i said she should ASK to find out what the problem is.
I once dated someone that travelled out of base for few days and didn't call.I called the first two days and he was somewhat cold.I didn't call the remaining three days and he didn't call either.You won't believe on the sixth day he called and said that he was on his way back that i should make stew that he will come pick it up on his way home .mtcheww!! I didn't answer him.
I later asked him why didn't he keep in touch when he travelled and he said he was emotionally down because the business he went for didn't go as planned.I told him so if we get married and things go bad you will leave me and the kids and runaway till things turn around or what?
That was the end of that relationship cos i couldn't deal..(My aunt said "what you can't take when married don't take it while dating".) Yes he was talking marriage then and that didn't look like the kind of man i want to live with.
@Ola wealth: Well, it's her choice to make.Guys like that won't man up and break up.If she moves on now he will start begging and before you know it she sends in chronicles of Mr.A & B that's why i said she should ask so that the guy can spell it out.
I tire for relationship matter biko.
Your phone was away for THREE days.. Where did it go biko? No s#x in the relationship and so? He will get it any time he wants biko from anywhere. Its basically nothing.
ReplyDeleteNow to be more serious with you, that guy doesn't need you. He is trying to put you away the best way possible. I am a guy and I know this.
I was wondering if her phone travelled too.
DeleteI think the age difference is also causing a problem of understanding as well. Matured dating immatured. Girl, have a word with him and move on to a person of like mind.
Age fire! My bf is 13years older than I am, I am 21 and this guy is all over me. It's a long distance relationship too...so my dear move on, he no send you.
DeleteYou have to face front and hustle, what you need is not a boyfriend at this moment, you need to be serious with your studies, learn a hand work, focus on the future.
ReplyDeleteYou don’t have anything to bring to the table and yet you are looking for a loyal boyfriend, get yourself busy Biko, you are suffocating the young man, the bill on him is too much already, get something tangible to do with that you will not have time for boyfriend tlj
Poster don't mind this one. If you want to have a boyfriend pls do. If you want to focus on your studies, do or even better do both just do you because no one's way is the right way. You don't have to bring anything to the table, you are the table he just doesn't love you and that's Ok. You'll find someone better so stop stressing yourself
DeleteJust 20/21 years of age and Love don de worry this one..
ReplyDeleteSee, go and learn how to develop yourself , or how ypu will make money legally or read your books if you be book person.
You go just go get belle if you no take time and bobo go miss..
Everytime you're still young, read your books, make money bla bla bla. Some people find relationships/marriage important, some like education others prefer to make money so please let's try to advise people based on the matter at hand because variety is the spice of life. We all can't be the same. Poster, give him the space he needs and don't expect anything from him. Just live your best life.
DeleteIf your conscience is clear that within those three days your phone was off, it was not intentional. Give him space for now. Do not worry your young head about him. He is the one double dating. Most people when they are tired in a relationship, they will just keep silent and allow you date yourself.
ReplyDelete31 and 21
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you are not his smallie?
He may think you are not mature enough for a serious relationship.
I think you should focus less on him and more on your education, career or biz
21 is still your "hoe" phase, you should be living your best life now.
So that by the time you are 24/25 you don wise up wella, wise enough to differentiate fuckboys from serious men.
Just 20 going to 21 in few weeks..
ReplyDeleteBobo, 30 going to 31 in few months time.
She is inexperienced
Its her first relationship
Its a long distance relationship...
Mtsheeeew, go and read your books or if on holiday, go and look for a sales girl job and do and occupy yourself rather than wasting tour time with a guy who has flexed life and in his 30's not thinking of settling down.
You no give him sex that is why. Please don't give him sex at all, that is how they behave.
ReplyDeleteIf he friend zone you, you too enemy zone him too
😂😂😂😂😂
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteMy dear he's giving you attitude to know if you will offer him sex.. dont do it. I repeat don't.. from experience i think he's quite old for you but to each their own.. may God order your steps.
ReplyDeleteE be like them finish you with pricks that's why you say from experience.
DeleteHmmm...oro.."when they see you didnt break when they left...." very true.
ReplyDeleteposter food, you no put for table.
ReplyDeleteponyor nko, you no fit give.
guy man is tired biko. he can't come and go and be Aaron gbalu aka.
free him and stop suffocating him with empty love.
Chike why now, you just broke my heart with this your comment
DeleteLol. Don't mind him just move on. You don't need to give anything to be loved.
DeletePoster, this shouldn’t give you so much concern. Once, your conscience is clear and you have made effort to explain yourself yet he won’t bulge, do give him time. Just focus your attention on building up your carrier and other personal interest.
ReplyDeleteHe could be seeing someone else or going through some challenges he can't tell you about, but needing a space to me means he has moved on. Do not date only one person, always have a backup man called bestie.
ReplyDeleteWill they hear? Have a back up , MBA!
DeleteYou are the smallie, Virgin girlfriend, he has an older girlfriend he's in a serious relationship with.
ReplyDeleteA lot of us passed through this phase sha. It's better you know now and at this age just be in a relationship with someone closer to ur age
Okay. Didn't see yours before I dropped almost same comment👇. This is just the truth.
DeletePlease dear, concentrate on building yourself..Obviously from his behavior he is a fuck boy.
ReplyDeleteHe may not be. I feel the guy doesn't just see her as 'matured' enough for him. She didn't say if she's done with school and I guess dude may be done with all that and ready for the next phase which she may not be ready for. He doesn't want to waste their time. I guess😶
DeletePlease this is a very good opportunity to break off from the guy. Just move on. He would catch the drift.
ReplyDeletePoster just move on
ReplyDeletePoster don’t listen to people telling you to focus on your future, who says the guy you date can’t and won’t be part of the future? Nigeria when future is generally bleak self please secure a good relationship now that you’re young o.
ReplyDeleteAnyways saying you’re cheating is just his way of putting pressure on you cos you’re not having sex with him. Also his acting cold is for same reason. Give him space a bit but also know he might have someone else. I was in a similar situation at your age, eventually I found out he was dating someone older and they got married. So get busy with your life but if a good guy comes...combine chasing future and relationship ooo cos the relationship might be good part of your future....don’t be like the ones that did only school and work and now has the money and job with no man ok
Thank you o. Relationship is also part of investing in your future. So since it's not working, just move on to the next because you can't force him
Delete@16:04, You sound like having 'man' is a price of life, and not having man is a disability. Oh please. Poster, ask God for the wisdom to make good decisions, decisions that will not cause you pain. The price is to know God and put him first. Not because of what you can get, but because of who he is. That way, you will enjoy the love no man can give, and you will learn to know your worth and his daughter. That way, if and when a spouse comes, it will be a gift from him. A gift, not a guy you have to hustle and cry and scheme and change for, but a guy who like you, puts God first. Don't be pressured into fornicating, it's not worth it. In the end Adam realized that the apple wasn't worth losing an entire garden for. Bless ya!
Deleteone sided BVS.. if it was the guy's phone that was off for "THREE" days u guys are gonna be like "E don go gbensh" abah.. nobody asked what excuse she gave the guy..why won't he feel cold and feel cheated on? there are two sides for a coin.. aunt sweet20 wetin u the ur borbor .. I understand you are young and he needs to understand that your excuse for your phone being away for three days matters.. the guy na human being blood runs in his vein..
ReplyDeleteA man who wants to be with you will always find time no matter how busy he is. He would never use the word space.
ReplyDeleteLet him go.
He may be way more experienced than you and so he's tired of the relationship and has probably moved on. Since this is your first, why not go for someone not so much older so you can both be seeing things in the same light? Just saying. Cos dude may be talking Z and you're still in E. Hence, you may be too 'small' for him.
ReplyDeleteLet him go! You don't sound mature enough really. I am 21 and partner is 31, been together 3years and I know this won't fly with me. 3 days and no call and not bothered?? Girl forget please. Let him be. Face your life and let him face his. Honestly, I feel he may have started dating you hoping you would eventually put out and till now you haven't(assumptions, I may be wrong). Look you are not too young for a boyfriend so don't buy that BS but it seems you are not in the same league(maturity) as this man. Trust me there would be other guys. I know your fear is that you might not find a man with your values willing to wait which is not true.You would find someone. Although I am not team no sex(I have sex well! Lol), I do feel everybody has values which they seek for in their partners and they deserve it.
ReplyDeleteI won't say concentrate on your studies or any other BS either because that would just be deflecting. However, mourn this relationship now and take time to heal. It would hurt and it would sting especially if you love him but love is not enough to keep a relationship. Give him some space then maybe he would realize he just lost gold and want to come back. If you want him back make sure the relationship is solely on your terms and lay down the ground rules. Don't let anybody tell you the age difference is a big deal. It really isn't. When I was in university I saw first hand how younger boyfriends treated girlfriends that way 3 to 5 years old than they were terrible. I have never been disrespected in my 10 year age gap relationship and when he misbehaves I call him out on his BS and he does same for me. Age matters as long as you make it matter.
You would be alright. I turned 21 this year and my dad actually commented on my bithday "you are still a baby!" That is to tell you 21 is young. You have time. You would be fine.
You are d smallie side chic, why was it phone off? U go break waist?
ReplyDeleteMy dear soon to be 21 listen now, This 31years guy is not into you, even if you give him ponyor he go still misbehave. You are his Smallie virgin girlfriend,he doesn't take you serious & cannot be committed to you.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my sister used to have a bf like that when we were still 18 & just gained admission into uni, that is how the Bobo will be treating her anyhow, he will even tell her you cannot give me what I want. One day I accompanied her to the guys house & the kind eye the guy take look us ehh it was obvious the way he felt about her, he only saw her as wasting his time & not wanting to give out the cookie. My sister always felt heart broken about the guy & me I didn't understand what & why she felt so in love with the guy, I was always consoling her to forget him until one day she finally met someone else that took her serious even as the smallie that she was.
My point is this if this your Bobo is behaving like this then he isn't in love with you & hence lost his patience already ,that is the main reason for asking for his space.
I understand some people start this relationship thingy at an early age & it works out fine so you see some young babes getting married at 21 or 25. For some of us it doesn't work that way. When you meet the one for you it will show & you will be glad you left this guy. For now face you book/hustle. This is a situationhsip & not a relationship.
You can do both ,facing your studies or whatever you are doing and still be in a good relationship,but don't allow any guy to take advantage of you, I will advice you give him some space,if he comes back,fine you guyz can talk things over but if doesn't please kindly move on,better guyz will come your way but please Shine your eyes 👀
ReplyDeleteSorry about flu Stella. For the poster build your future. Give him space never allow a man to m twist you into cheapning your self. Becor
ReplyDeleteAt 21, please you're too young to be having relationship worries. If you want to wait till marriage just know you will be tested along the way and have a harder time with guys who are very virile and sexually active. So you need to really define your values from the beginning with them and rely on the grace of God to help you. Trust me if you commit your ways to God, he'll guide and protect you till you meet a man who's worthy of you. It is possible. For now, I'll advice you stay off relationships until you develop yourself some more mentally, emotionally, academically, spiritually. You can choose to not heed my advice and go ahead dating users who will only end up breaking your heart and leaving you with wounds and issues that you'll wish you waited a bit. Dump that guy and let him go and find what's worrying him and you and I know what that is.
ReplyDelete@Dre, you're so right. She is at crossroads, either she chooses the world or she chooses God. Can't choose both. Poster, if you choose God, then you shouldn't date guys who believe in and indulge in premarital sex. Make your stand clear and break up with them if you must. (If your eye causes you to sin..) I know it seems that if you exclude them your pool is smaller, but then the road to heaven is very narrow. Bless ya
DeleteIt's an easy one. The guy is tired of the relationship. He isn't getting sex or companionship from you. Back in my past life, my wild youthful days ,my late twenties , I used to have those smallies in unilag... all those 100 level ,nineteen, twenty year old girls I used to date. It was all for the fuck! If you weren't giving me cookie very quickly, I form cold and withdraw. Amin what else could a smallie offer?? Fiscal advice? Lol
ReplyDeletePoster he most probably has a serious relationship with someone else and is tayad of the sexless one he has with you. S'all gud tho. Keep your legs closed. Fornication is a sin. You will find someone else who shares similar values with you.
On 2 the Next!
See him mouth like fornication is a sin! So you fit talk say fornication is a sin after you don finish those other girls abi???
Delete