Hmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BABY DADDY OR HUSBAND ????
I'm a lady of 35 years, single and with no child. I don't mean to sound cliché but I'm very beautiful, very tall, slim and naturally curvy. I own my own company and I'm doing well by the grace of God. There's more room for improvement but I'm okay.
Now to my problem, most men that sees me thinks I can't be into them and I'm just pretending to love them since my school days (Or so I think they think) hence they always end up leaving me. Truth is I've never cheated on my boyfriends, it's just not my thing. Two times I thought I had relationship that is going somewhere, I later found out they are married and their wives not living in the same city with us and I had to break it off.
Now to my problem, most men that sees me thinks I can't be into them and I'm just pretending to love them since my school days (Or so I think they think) hence they always end up leaving me. Truth is I've never cheated on my boyfriends, it's just not my thing. Two times I thought I had relationship that is going somewhere, I later found out they are married and their wives not living in the same city with us and I had to break it off.
I recently met this guy about 3 months ago and we started dating about 2 months now. From the beginning he took me to his house about 3 times and he visits me too. I never wanted sleep over as I thought it's too soon but he kicked against it so strongly that I had to accept.
I've just noticed that he prefers sleeping over at my place but doesn't like me sleep at his place (note that, all the 3 times I went to his house was during the day and I saw no sign of a woman).
My question is why doesn't he want me to sleep over at his place but wants to sleep at mine? I tried asking him this 2 times and he picked a fight saying I'm always paranoid. He slept at my place 3 times and left very early in the morning on two occasions say by 6 or 7 am though it was on weekends.
The last time he came as he was sleeping, a number was calling him after the call a message popped up which read "babe.... are you home". (I'm team no snoop and I saw the message by mistake so I didn't take the phone to read more and I asked him nothing about it either).
My question is with my age, do I let this guy go or just play along for a while? I'm also thinking if worse comes to worse, I can have a baby with him and not necessarily marry him. What do you all think? I need advice please.
My question is with my age, do I let this guy go or just play along for a while? I'm also thinking if worse comes to worse, I can have a baby with him and not necessarily marry him. What do you all think? I need advice please.
*Well,you have provided all the answers.....you people are already gbenshing and you are not really bothered about marrying...You just want to make a baby before the clock stops ticking.....Oh well,if you think he would make a RESPONSIBLE baby daddy,then its up to you but if not,please disengage and look for the object of your desire.
Good luck oh
Dude is in a relationship or even married sef. The signs are too visible. Madam, me think you should discharge him before he does you.
ReplyDeleteHe makes a good sperm donor, Not a baby daddy though.
DeleteMadam don't write yourself off when your maker has not written you off. Don't try to help God. Just discard that man and the idea of becoming a baby mama rather move closer to God fast and pray,wake up in the midnight to fire prayers.
DeleteEnter Operation PUSH I.e. pray until something happens. I believe your miracle is closer than you think and before this year runs out if only you will believe, you shall testify.
Delay is not denial. God is still in the business of making boos.
Thank you @intelligentsia princes.
DeleteIs written all over ya boyfriend is not pure is just a fuckist,Nne being 35years is not a disease there's nothing God cannot do just believe in him that your own ordained husband will come Soonest...
DeleteYou are not team snoop ba? Even when the universe is helping you and trying to feed you with info, you are rejecting it. Ok na. You think being a single parent is easy? Na ya type dey catch feelings pass, after you don talk sey na only pikin you want. After you will say men are scum. Enough of my rant pls, ok poster kwantinu!
DeletePlease have a HIV test before you start trying to make babies. HIV and genotype
DeleteStop allowing him or any other boyfriend of yours sleep over at place, please, it looks degrading (my personal opinion)
DeleteHe can visit, but no sleeping over.
If his place is not OK, he can check you guys in a hotel.
Stop playing wifey roles to boyfriend.
I think for a woman to purposely be a baby mama is selfish. A child deserve love and attention from mum and dad.
ReplyDeletePoster, pls that man has some skeletons in his cupboard. Flee fornication and seek God, he would give you your own.
Truth be told, there are more women than men.
DeleteOut of the available men, a large percentage doesn't want to accept marriage responsibilities so soon which makes the pool of men smaller.
It means, more women won't get married compared to men. Take it or leave it, children will continue to be born out of wedlock. If an unmarried woman thinks that will give her some comfort, so be it. Who are we to judge.
Age is not on any woman's Side
Let her have the child if she wants. She has the resources to take care of the child
DeleteI don't care if the pool of men is reduced to zero. You should still do what is right. The baby mama syndrome is shameful for any decent society. Inadvertently being a single mother due to divorce or bereavement is one thing. But to deliberately want to become one is a big shame resources or no resources. There I said it!
DeleteAnon 17:18 is a rigid fellow. Tell us what is right?
DeleteIf she feels she wants a baby and has the resources to take care of both herself and the baby, then it's ok with her and it is not Baby mama, (Single parenting) and not a shame.
Besides, don't force your stereotype kinda life down our throats. Honestly, many don't care also.
Please can we stop misinforming women. A simple google search will show you the world population ratio and actually men are more! Even baby dedication in my church on sunday had 18babies: 12males and 6females. False information leads to desperation. My dear, your husband will come. Please just hold on.
DeleteAnon 18:39, thank you!! I was just about to say the same thing. I don’t now why people keep spewing that rubbish. And it’s been going on for deades too. Was probably started by a Nigerian man. Ladies, google is your friend. You can also do your research. Men are more than women, just say the opposite to get as many women desperate as possible. Since I was in primary school, I’ve been hearing that there are more women than men; it’s been over 30 years and they’re still saying it. Haba!!. Poster, don’t sell yourself short. I married at 36 too so you never know what can happen. Don’t mess things up for yourself with a useless cheat.
DeleteHe is married or has someone he plans to marry. He let you know his place as some form of assurance so you don’t suspect anything. You are 35 not 55 If you want something serious then you already know this current guy isn’t the one and if all you want is to have a child by him why not? Or still find a man who would take some form of responsibility for the child when you have one even if you both don’t get married.
ReplyDeleteThis current guy just wants to eat and run, his type would ask you to abort if you get pregnant.
Don’t let bad experiences make you think you can’t find a good man because you will but you just need to be patient and focused.
Leave players alone okay and you’d find a worthy man.
That man is married leave him alone
ReplyDeleteYou are team no snoop abi? Ngwanu keep gbenshing somebody's bobo. He will shock you and dump you like the trash like you are.
ReplyDeleteWho brought this team no snoop idea???dear ladies please snoop ooo,snoop,snoop,until u can snoop no more,men are scum,not to be trusted,and unfaithful.if my frien didn't snoop,she wouldn't have known her husband of 2years was about to use her for rituals,she would have bin dead by now,she saw the instruction from his best friend reminding to him set and alarm for 1am and cover her with the red cloth,if my cousin didn't snoop she wouldn't Have known that her fiance had HIV and was busy treating himself without letting g her know.be doing team no snoop until one day monkey go to market e no go return,soap to enter ur eye inside river.
ReplyDeleteIt was Stella's idea not to snoop
DeleteWow! I snooped o hmmmm...found so many pics of bf with different girls from as far back as 4 years ago, he claimed they were from his iCloud, He called to say he’s deleted them all but I started responding to other guys small small o cos double dating is not really my thing but now I’m open minded enough to at least chat casually occasionally with other chikers abeg...snooping is important o cos before I saw those pics I carry this guy for head so much but seeing him with all those girls kinda cleared my head
DeleteNa wa. May God save us from wicked men
DeleteLeave them o, let me bury their head in sand like ostrich with red neck.
DeleteI pray you survive the shock you receive.
...since youre team no snoop, keep living in ignorance then, its bliss!!!
ReplyDeleteYou've been bitten 2wice & ure still not shy!
The proof is in the pudding, yet you wouldnt.
I don't think that man is even reasonable enough to be your father's child. What will you gain by not confronting him? Las las una breakup which is evident unless you be team we die there. I pray you have your own man and not the one that gets angry because you want to sleep over at his place.
ReplyDelete....or hes bisexual
ReplyDeleteThe man just want to sleep with you and dump you later, but if you think you feel like having a baby for him, it left to you
ReplyDeleteAunty why are you short'changing yourself just because you are 35. My dear I know so many women with one being a close relative that got married at 36,husband was 38 never been married,no kids and doing extremely well. She had her 1st child a year later. A lady in my church even 40 and her first child at 41.
ReplyDeleteThere is definitely smthn wrong with your self esteem if you are ready to just have a baby with a married man.
Aunty that man is either married, has a flance or serious relationship and you know this. Your intuition is telling you but you refuse to hear.
Do you even know if this man wants a child with you? You think he is stupid if he's truly married he may not want this because of his wife,even if you tell him he won't support the child he may not still want. This one he is already shouting at coming over to sleep at him. I hope his type won't harm you or force an abortion on you.
You are still too young for this arrangement.
Please wait for that man that loves and values you enough to be his wife and mother of his kids.
And if you do decide you want a baby pls do it with someone that is in agreement with such a plan.
It seems that guy has some skeleton in his closet, try to find out things about him or fake a pregnancy to see his reaction.
ReplyDeleteLet this man be, let him go. I dont think that you should have a Child outside wedlock.There are still good guys out there, yours will locate you in due time. Just be patient.
ReplyDeleteWhen you ladies start chanting "by the grace of God . . ." and fornicating -sleeping over in his and your house, please which God you you folks mean?
ReplyDelete1 Cor. 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
Revelation 21:8 8But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”
As long as you keep providing intercourse for these men, they will not marry you. They all see you as a good sex tool and you are beginning to see yourself in such light seeing that you are ready to be a babymama; just a baby making factory. Lady, a woman is worth more than that.
I will keep repeating it...not sleeping with a man will not make him marry you nor will sleeping with him. Its you guyz chemistry that will determine his intent to marry you. Some women are just gullible... Sex is not the way to man's heart nor is it good cooking. Even when he marries you, your pussy which you now decide to give him is not what will make him not cheat in the marriage!!! Una go just carry pussy for head as if na your oussy go hold your marriage nonsense!!! Know the key that unlocks his heart n see him turn putty in your hand...you want the key its "spontaneity" that's what the old generation never told you!!!!!
DeleteTinalexy pls elaborate on this "spontaneity"
DeleteSPONTANEITY is what will keep your relationship alive... It’s is tricky though. it can be seen as a falsified act
DeleteThe 3 times he slept in your place must be when he told them he was going for vigil.
ReplyDeleteI am sure you allowed him knack you well.
Don't worry you are on your own
Madam you don't have a boyfriend. You have low self esteem instead. You are only 35 for crying out loud. What if you never marry?? Were you told that only married people make heaven. Please stop offering yourself on a platter to these men. Close your legs and tame your toto. Seek God's face wholeheartedly and focus on your business. Until you are legally wed no sleeping with a man.
ReplyDeleteI know and understand your fears. You feel age is no more on your side. You fear you might be unable to get married, so you would prefer to have a child, so that you don't lose on both sides.
ReplyDeleteIf it is any consolation, just know this; I have an incredibly attractive male cousin of 38 years. He has always been attracted to ladies within his age bracket. When he was younger, he liked older women. Even at his age, he has considered marriage with a 40 year old lady (though he was asking me if the lady would still be able to conceive) , he eventually didn't marry the lady sha.
Now he is getting married to a 37 year old lady. My cousin has never been married and has no child . We are going to the girl's family today for introduction and the wedding has been fixed for November.
He met the lady this year and they have known for just about 6 months, they work in the same organisation, but in different branches; they met at the company's party.
My point is that God can bless you with your own home, your age notwithstanding,I don't know what your faith is like, all you need though is a faith as small as a mustard seed.
If you become a baby mama, you reduce your chance of getting a good single man by 98% (that's a lot).
You could get a child, but you might lose the privilege of having a reliable company for a lifetime.
Please don't plunge yourself into misery, and stop wasting what precious time you have going along with a man who is clearly unavailable and who has no time for you. Confront him with the truth you learned and let him go. Don't listen to whatever lies he wants to feed you with .
Just move on my lady. Please leave him alone and move on.
My friend who is about 45 just got married to a single man, thR has never been married, so why declare it is over at 35!!!!!!!!!
I pray God will visit you soon. All the best lady
He probably invited you to his home when his wife had travelled. Trust me I have been to many homes and you won't neccessariy see women's things scattered. My male friend is a neat freak. Except you enter inside their bedroom you won't see pin that belongs to the wife. The house was already decorated before she even came in. And he has kept it same after marriage. Very nice but few expensive furniture,no colourful deco everything is white.
ReplyDeleteThat your man is very married.
Has he introduced you to his family members?I'm sure he hasn't.
The times he has slept at yours the wife may not be around or he lied about going somewhere. He even leaves at 6/7am and you don't still know he is married.
Insist one day you want to spend weekend. Not even night but weekend and see how he will flare up.
Madam this man isn't even a potential baby daddy for you. Forget him he is just using you for sex. He has a woman somewhere hence that text.
Them dey take you pass time..
ReplyDeleteYou need no advice, free that man.
He spends the night and leaves by 6 am,a man who isn't answerable to any woman at home would stay back and relax ,eat breakfast before leaving since it's a weekend.He is married but if you want to be sure,give him a surprise visit or you go follow him whenever he spends the night at yours.
ReplyDeleteHes keeping you as a side chick. You better come and marry me, I'm a responsible single guy and stop wasting your time with that one who is just deceiving you and enjoying free sex from you.
ReplyDelete