Please those from Akwa Ibom,can they tell us if a list like this exists?can lists like this bypassed and money given instead?
Saturday, August 04, 2018
Traditional Marriage Requirement From Brides Family In Akwa Ibom
This Marriage list was allegedly gotten from Akwa Ibom....
Please those from Akwa Ibom,can they tell us if a list like this exists?can lists like this bypassed and money given instead?
Please those from Akwa Ibom,can they tell us if a list like this exists?can lists like this bypassed and money given instead?
121 comments:
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LMAO 😁😀, half dozen of underwears extra large, braziers, eye pencil, mirror 😁😀😀. I thought they said it's igbos that collects the highest bride price?
ReplyDeleteAzzzin, this one shocked me. Imagine a box filled with assorted materials and then you will still give hollandaise, English wax, Nigerian wax and others. Oh k
DeleteDs one small nah,check out eket's list. My big cousin married from dia,don't think I will ever forget dt list-six good pages including two donkeys and four goats,almost full pickup of yam,I mean endless list. Any Stella, how I wish I was home (I mean family home) now,I would snap it and send it to u so u don't think am exaggerating. We made a copy and kept at home for laughing purposes
DeleteDa mom is made obviously, 😀. Chai! My Naija, even illicit gin, lmao!
DeleteLies, the list can be defended and the whole thing slashed to half or quarter, maybe your brother didn't want to defend it, stop spreading false information
DeleteThe list could have been a normal list from my village, just that the mothers and fathers things are outrageous. The person getting married to this girl will start saving for this wedding 3years before the date
DeleteNa wa o. I know of a place where the bride's family demanded for so many things and the bride was crying because she felt it's too much and they are doing this because her father is late. Some kinsmen are wicked.
DeleteAnon 9.38 this list is very accurate. The clerk in my office brought this type of list for his marriage to show us. This is just a clerk that is earning how much. The inlaw is giving him this kind list. Was shocked when I was seeing underwear and bra etc.
DeleteWe had to support him in our own little way. Though he said he won't buy every single item but this is the list.
The one I saw there is even list for the grand mother/grand father.
DeletePlus the youths of the village.
And yes anon some things there can be negotiated. But there are some it is a must.
Lol
DeleteThem never want their daughter to marry then
Some guyz dont even bring up to 5 items on that list
Ah! Ah! Stella, this list is very reasonable because after negotiations most items will be slashed from two to one.
DeleteMy nephew is getting married this month and his list had keke and big generator after negotiations they removed the keke and left the generator. Most times it happens when the girl's father is late and the uncles are in charge. All the solution to their problem them go carry put for the girl head.
Na wao..this is witchcraft.
ReplyDeleteNo. Lists are usually like this and then negotiated. Its in the negotiation that the families bond and you begin to have some family members suporting the inlaws and thats it. Eventually they might not even pay up to 1/10th of the list items.
DeleteIt just generally a time for the proposing inlaws to "toast" their inlaws and win them over. The extent to which they bend shows the extent to which you have won them over.
Seeety get ready oooh, na so my own list go be.
DeleteA lot of items on this list. If I am the guy getting married I will do the one I can and promise my in_law to do the rest when I am capable of it.
ReplyDeleteNothing like owing in my place, everything is counted before you proceed with the bride price sef, nawa o, the parents just want to hammer untop their pikin head. Imagine a man with 8 daughters, he is made for life if they get married in the same year lwkmd
DeleteSo Okada man and barrow /truck pushers no de marry from your place @ push up.
DeleteThey mainly look at the groom and bride's financial capacity.
Maybe the guy or their daughter Na oil people, politicians or abroadians.
Consultation
ReplyDeletePre-marital............
No be small thing.
Na just 25.50k them pay for my head plus everything they bought,it still didn't get to 100k.
Are you Yoruba? Very reasonable family. While in some cultures in Nigeria people are drained for weddings and funerals. If the suitor is obviously rich I think from his generosity he can do as much as he wants, but to demand so much from people, it is really bad.
DeleteIn my place,N5 for head and the rest still less than 80k.
DeleteI am Igbo.
Anon I'm not Yoruba. I'm Edo
DeleteMy place is a 100 naira bride price and drinks and kola nuts. The parents of the bride buys everything for their daughter it's left for the groom to use his discretion. Nothing forced.
DeleteThat’s why your men are marrying multiple women all over the place.; your families are giving you guys away for free.. no respect go de nah.
DeleteBtw, marriage is for men. When you are able to stand your ground like a man, negotiate with your woman’s family and get to marry a woman, then you deserve to head the home.
Are they selling their daughter? Socio-economic problems has really dealt with Nigerians. If not so how would a family see solemnization of two people as a money making venture.
ReplyDeleteYou mind them? When he starts treating her like a goat now, they will say she should remain in the marriage, can they return all this orishirishi? Namsense!
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA
DeleteI know someone that after his wedding he and the bride were sleeping on mattress for like a year and no furniture in the house by the time the guy was done with wedding expenses.
The girl is an understanding girl anyway and they are both doing very well now. But I can't personally sleep on mattress for long. I will just go carry my money and buy bed myself.
@ Bed and Roses What's the difference between bed and mattress?
DeleteMattress, foam with cover or without. Bed, wooden or iron with springs.
DeleteSaw this on Twitter....I still don’t want to believe it! I spoke my mind when I saw it on Twitter, one akwa Ibom lady almost ate me raw.😒
ReplyDeleteOya speak your mind here too, we will like to read ur opinion. Lols
Delete😷😷😷
DeleteWonderful list.
ReplyDeleteThis list is not different from igbos list
Please don't kid yourself. It is so much different. Very very much different. Half the things on that list is not in our list. Unless your village sha
DeleteMy dear a lot of differenceoo
DeleteDifference dey o. I don see list from Abia(both original and slashed)
DeleteNot all Igbos o.
DeleteThe only thing I saw was okokoro.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahah
ReplyDeleteWhat a list......mirror, powder,eye pencil😂😂😂
What's okokoro
I am sure it is ogogoro. He pronounce like calabar people.
DeleteMake una no vex for me
Very very true o, one of our family friends have engaged a girl from akwa ibom since last year February done her introduction ,but he is still looking for money for the bride price list he was given, when I saw the list I was shocked,the list is about a million, Until now the marriage plans are still on hold ,cos after paying the heavy list he will still do traditional marriage and wedding. We have advised him to move on but he seems to really love the girl and the girls people are not even helping matters to reduce the list.
ReplyDeleteWhy are people like this? I see it as wickedness. Can't they try to deduce the financial situation of the man from the bride to be? Wickedness in high places. If I were the lady we will do court and church and rest. If my parents really want the traditional then they should influence their people to accommodate my boo na, wetin?
DeleteThis is official, incase you didn't know, know now, any marriage list you are given in any part of Akwa Ibom State is subject to defend, set a date for defending the list, go there on that date with an elderly man in your family that can debate and argue very well, before you go, mark the things you can do in the list and give to the elderly man/men you are going with and they will debate and argue on that, deciding not to defend the list is a choice
DeleteSo now people are defending marriage list like project? If am the man I would be so angry and back out sef.
DeleteNobody should sha bring this kind of outrageous list when it's my turn.
Then you aren’t man enough. That is how you will run away from the marriage when you people face a little challenge...
DeleteSomeone is trying to make headline by fabricating this rubbish
ReplyDeleteI would have said it was fabrication, but truth is I have seen such. And usually such families are unnecessarily demanding and greedy.
DeleteIt's not fabricated. The truth is families and villages differ. There are some families that will include lady's bike for the mum sef and phones for both parents. But all of these can be argued and you can simply say I can't afford this and this for now. They will accept, at the end of the day those 10cartons of beer,stout,malt and so on could be reduced to even 3cartons.
DeleteThat list will be slashed half by the time they finish argument. Argument is part of entertainment and fun between both families and it's part of marital rites sef.
No doubt if a well known rich dude goes into such family to marry, he may not want to argue anything.
Not fabrication dear.I have seen one before like this.
DeleteThank you, Viva. During the process, even the temperament of the family members including the groom is noted. Issues are discussed. Families get to know themselves. Marriage is a process. Not just coming, dancing and going away. This is all part of it and shows maturity and the ‘manliness’ of the man😜
DeleteThe bride will be rubbing her husband’s head and encouraging him, petting him and telling him he can do it, he’s up to the task, he’s a real man etc.
So make una miss me with the fake outrage 😂
This one pass the Igbo list.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm!
Are they selling they daughter
Where is droyalty ? Lmao
ReplyDeleteNNE biko fall out, and explain to us what's happening here !
Mama Nnuku I don land gidigba
DeleteThat list is not long enough
Some villages' own includes that of grandmother and grandfather similar to that of mother and father but the cash gift is reduced and some item are not included.
The mother's list includes a bicycle which has been upgraded to motorcycle.
There should be youths own which contains football, cigarettes, snuff and the rest including kegs of 'Ogogoro' and cash
The salt and pepper in the mother's items will be distributed to the women in the village
That pre-marriage discovery column is for a bride that got pregnant before bride price is paid. I think that is why it is crossed.
Lastly, some men don't buy up to one tenth of the items depending on the family, they end up spending less than 200k for the whole marriage rites. Some rich men may decide not to negotiate and buy everything. So men, don't don't scared, you can negotiate it, just marry an understanding girl with kind parents, they will talk to their people.
Yes Stella, I'm from Akwa Ibom State and such list exist but it's subject to DEFEND ( that means the list can be defended), what I mean by the above is that, the groom sets a date for defending the list, he'll go on that date with someone that can debate and argue very well, he will mention the ones he do and what he cannot will be cancelled depending on how he can argue and stand his ground, at the end of it, the whole list can be slashed to half, most rich grooms don't defend the list, it's a personal choice, and yes you can also pay in cash without buying any of the items.
ReplyDeleteWaaawu !
DeletePay in cash .. I see
Such stress because person wan marry. Is the babe made of diamond?
DeleteDefend!!! Na project??? Lmao
DeleteHahahahaha na project ooo
DeleteNobody should even marry from any family that gives such crazy lists.
DeleteMake their daughters dey for house dey old for them.
Egwu onye o kara obi
ReplyDeleteIt's true, i served in Akwaibom and this one is even small compared to what my friend's people demanded from her spouse, she is from Rivers state.
ReplyDeleteNa to kukuma open Supermarket for dem...
ReplyDeleteI'm not castgating any tribe but Yoruba wedding is still the easiest if you can cut your coat according to your size
ReplyDeleteHausas have the cheapest, the man just brings box for the woman, yet the woman is to furnish his entire house, his own is to just move in, just like na she dey pay bride price
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI got married few weeks ago. My bride price was 5k, yes just 5k. I am from the middle belt, alongside the 5k few items were provided such as yams, salt, rice, oil etc.
Deletewedding should not be difficult.
#myopinion
Push up, the Hausa wedding I went to sometime ago was not quite cheap.
DeleteSee different types of boxes filled with clothes, sewing machine, sets of pots, different orishirishi.
Sadly the marriage didn't last two years and everything packed up like a badly arranged cards.
@chi it’s mostly according to who you are getting married, your boxes are to be filled up but I don’t think it can be compared to the furniture you will put in the mans house, the more boxes and quality of goods he gets for you, means you will have to get good quality goods to also furnish his house, from sitting room to room, it’s not easy
DeleteNa wa oh. So there will be no abanaya at all depending on how rich or poor
DeleteHian! The items are too much
ReplyDeleteThen let your daughter remain single naa.You should have told the man to open supermarket or shop for in-laws.Hian!!! I thought Imo state had the most expensive bride price.That's why some of them end up with yahoo guys,ritualist or drug pushers,cheats and deadbeats that work at Oil and gas.Because I don't know how a legal hard working man can do these and still do trad wedding,white wedding,honey moon.Stuff house with necessities after wedding.
ReplyDeleteThank you o. I saw my friends list from Afikpo ebonyi and I told them to just get a shop as the items were enough to fill shop. In afipko,they will arrange the things outside and the girl will sit in front and be snapping sef. Nawa
DeleteLook at how these ones have successfully sold their daughter. Its these types that will not be able to say anything if the man misbehaves in future.
ReplyDeleteFor your mind....
DeleteYou forget a true woman from our place is trained to keep her man. Not say a word? Really? More like the man can’t do nothing without his wife. He will even be proud to pay all these and more l, if he can afford. And there’s a procedure for if he can’t...so...
Yes oh I'm from Akwa Ibom and there no lie in that, Just that parent are very considerate now, yes very very, and also if one father is late with a wicked uncle, you're on your own.
ReplyDeleteThat why Akwa Ibom men marry very late, and their women too unlike Yoruba.
So why are they always mentioning Igbos as the most expensive?🙄
DeleteThere's a place in rivers state that is so expensive too
DeleteSwag, it's kalabari in rivers. The bride price runs into millions, this one is child's play!
DeleteShooter yeah thanks. A friend hosted me how his friend went to do intro there. The last time I asked,the guy has not gone back to do the trad. He's still gathering money ABI searching for another babe sef
DeleteGisted*
Delete😂😂😂😂
DeleteGombe people are like these too. The list for a graduate is different from that of an undergraduate. God help you if the girl has an M.Sc,sorry is your name. A family friend did not eventually marry the guy she wanted because he couldn't meet up with the money and asked to pay in instalments (LOL). She then met someone who was ready to pay at once,that's how they returned the first guys part payment and she married the second guy.
ReplyDeleteYes oh I'm from Akwa ibom and that list is even cheap oh. And no matter how you argue it will still be much n it degrading for some men sitting down to argue list, so some just close eyes n buy them. That why you rarely see Akwa Ibom man marry in 20s it either he almost 40, my own parent has vow not to kill the guy oh, that why I'm praying God 2 keep my dad alive cos wicked and greedy uncles can rubbish you. Introduction list in Akwa ibom is like marriage list in Yoruba.
ReplyDeleteNot just degrading, but embarrassing
DeleteAre they doing buying and selling?
Which marriage list in Yoruba is this one saying? No Yoruba parents will give this type of list. Please say what you know biko. My own father even retuned the 5k my inlaws brought. With less than 100k, you'll buy everything on a Yoruba engagement list. Na the party dey heavy and that one self, the family will rally round you. Everybody will get their own canopy and caterer
DeleteShe said introduction is like Yorubaarriage list. Read with understanding
DeleteStella this list is even fair sincerely, very very fair. In short the family are very good people believe me, one day I will send you the real Akwa ibom list. Plz if you have a friend that is from Akwa Ibom be it male or female pls never mock her that she not married. Now the girl parents overlook their own list n tell the guy to buy family own n give to them to save money. And also support the guy.
ReplyDeleteThis anonymous just said the truth.
DeleteLike I said earlier, this list is peanut compared to mine.
And it is even worse if the bride's father is dead and it's the uncles who are in charge.
Nawaaaah..this is daughter for sale.
ReplyDeleteNa real wa!! In my opinion I think it’s hungry family members that produce ridiculous lists like this especially when the bride’s father is late. During mine 10k was requested for dowry but when presented, my father took just 200 naira note and told my hubby to use to rest to take care of his daughter. The items on the list weren’t more than 25. And the total money spent to get the items for the rites wasn’t up to 80k. I’m from Edo state by the way.
ReplyDeleteEyaaaaa
DeleteMbom
DeleteLmao @Premarital discovery list. WTF🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeletethis is called #Ebot-usung eyen.
DeleteThat is the goat you give to the girl's family for Insulting them. (in a case that she gets pregnant before you come ask for her hand in marrage/ she gave birth before marriage)
Thanks. I actually thought it was a typo. Lol
DeleteIs really wa
ReplyDeleteVery true. Our iyawo is from there. The list is so true.
ReplyDeleteI'm from akwa ibom and the list depends on the family. It can also be negotiated. A good family won't charge unreasonably. It also depends in the part of akwa ibom.
ReplyDeleteEdo marriages, one of the cheapest.
ReplyDeleteYeah
DeleteA list from akwa-ibom I saw had grandmother/grandfather list sef.
ReplyDeleteIs Mbaise and Owerri that I know that collects much things but not to this extent. Haba. Marriage now don become oil well. @Princess Tever
ReplyDeleteThank God I'm from Edo State, we don't collect much as brideprice. When my elder sister got married though I was young but I can still recall that my parents supported the wedding by buying a cow and other things, the brideprice was just 24 naira and the guy brought 30naira, my dad took 24naira and told the guy to use the remaining change to take care of his daughter,😅😅😅it was a very funny scenario that day..
ReplyDeleteI don't like when parents try to milk their daughter's husband to be, the guy might be able to afford it but gonna lose respect for the family after everything. Marriage rites is not an opportunity to collect all you've spent on your daughter, people should try and limit all these excessive demands,it's annoying.
Olivia, yes my friends elder brother was dating one akwa ibo girl like that, she got pregnant and died during childbirth
ReplyDeleteSee eh this guy was asked to kind of marry her before she's buried
I've never seen such thing in my life I freaked out.
He's from Togo dem no wan take eyes see am sef. They made life hell for him.
Y baby mama no go plenty
ReplyDeleteIs more complicated than that. If bride price was never paid on the girls mother, the can still kill the girl for getting married with a bride price paid. They kill for any little mistake. Chi exotic those ones are nice, the make you sleep with the corpse for days or weeks, you could be killed. After that burial your life will never be the same. And if you abandon her corpse you will still die.
ReplyDeleteDoes this partly explain why Akwa Ibom men hardly marry their women?
ReplyDeleteChoiii but why are people wicked like this. That is how someone from that side was telling us about his uncle that came home for a burial. Had disagreement with his ppl and before he left they promised to show him.
ReplyDeleteThis guy slumped and died few days after returning to his base.
Culture differs. If you know you want to marry, marry well.
ReplyDeleteBtw, the list up there is from a Royal family. Sacrifices will be made. Youth and the whole village will celebrate. So what's the noise about? Or will one bag of rice feed the community?
Hahahahaha this is Wickedness...that part of buying undies Na waoooo..
ReplyDeleteMy brother married a yoruba girl from ogbomosho, this was exactly how they milked us, everyone that saw the list screamed, saying this is isn't done in Yoruba land, we know yorubas don't give ridiculous list but my family had no time arguing. The girls mum was the one inflating the list, very greedy and wasteful woman. Poverty mentality! #spotremover#
ReplyDeleteAll of you shouting
ReplyDeleteSince marriage is cheap in your place, why are you all still single at late twenties and over 30 yrs?
Namsense
you de mind dem?
DeleteThis isn’t very true
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine went to Oron to marry when he got the marriage list the guy just run 🏃
Item no 6 @ Smell stout .Lol
ReplyDeleteYes, Am from AkwaIbom but not brought up there. It happened to me. When i wanted to get married formarlly, my father demanded that my husband-to-be builds house for him first. Making unnecessary demand while yet to marry just because they found out he was abroad-based-guy.
I kicked aganst it.I was already 30 and now almost 40yrs still not traditionally married but living as couple.
When my father died,, in order not to incur problem and anger of the villagers,i attended as a single lady.My spouse did not show up.I have since changed my name. They dont know. We have cut them off.
Yes,they items can be negotiatted but the second list, i.e. pre-marriage is if you are pregnant before marriage ooo
In my case, i kept everything out of their knowledge. I wasnt even too close to them in my growing up years for them to even reap on top my head.Make them cross all the seas come find me.
Selfish and greedy parents who want to used their daughters to make it in life or give statement.
Some do it far cheaper than that. It depends. My father is quite educated but he messed up and lost out.
My Uncle's wife nickname is "My Bungalow". Why? Because, the money he was saving to build bungalow went into marrying his wife whom he met during his youth service in that region. Though, his wife told me that most of her kitchen stuff and some other home stuff were bought by her parents from her bride price proceeds. But, this happened in the 80s o, they are grand-parents now. My Uncle is Yoruba btw.
ReplyDeleteHe knew she was worth it and then some!!! Shikena
DeleteMy younger brother has 4pages of that list even as deeper lifers he was made to pay everything
ReplyDeleteHis list is very short o.
ReplyDeleteMine has over 4 pages
I will look for mine and send ni.
I have heard somebody complain about introduction sef talk more of marriage proper.
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing is to marry a good woman wether expensive or not
ReplyDeleteAre you for real so you have to use all your life saving to marry a wife & start eating good wife & empty stomach Abi, don't go organise girl from your area to do a peaceful demonstration unto top of greedy kinsmen
Delete