She had earlier made a controversial statement while herself and her colleagues debated on the trending story of a man residing in FESTAC town who connived with his doctor to remove the womb of his wife without her consent.
She stated that if we want to do culture, then we should be 100% with it as traditional weddings have been created to give the impression that a woman is being bought by her husband.
Tope in a post she later shared on her social media handle, said she does not in anyway support this idea where women are objectified and handed over as some property to men as our culture dictates. She says she hopes that the comments will help bring to the fore the need for this cultural mindset to be expunged.
She wrote;
“I have seen multiple tweets, comments, prayers and curses. Let me set the records straight.
My comments on the show depict the reality of our society, which I don’t agree with, but is our TRUTH.
It is our CULTURE, we don’t need to like it, but we must not play ostriches.
We must face it head on and address it.
As long we celebrate the buying of women (in the name of TRADITIONAL WEDDING) our men will feel entitled to do whatever pleases them with their possessions.
We must change this negative culture that has perpetually “OBJECTIFIED” women.
Culture has evolved over many generations.
We have continually expunged parts that do not serve us – like the killing of twins and albinos.
It is time to expunge seeing women as Properties .
It is time to expunge buying and selling of women.
It’s time to expunge all violence against women.”
It does not relate...
ReplyDeleteNa so truth dey pain eh!
ReplyDeleteSome people don make traditional marriage look like for sale events.
And some ladies don dey look for ready (made) buyers tee tee. E dey pain them most when fellow lady talk am.
Me I no dey taya to dey talk about those greedy beaches.
They don dey attack me like bees tee tee. Some even dey call me man. Hahahahhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
I raff in swahili
You said what you said the first time.
ReplyDeleteSince we are talking about who owns what.... I guess it is safe to say your parents can chop off your fingers little by little, after all the brought you to this world... they paid in full😁
i said it before that this woman made a whole lot of sense with her speech.but the daft ones refused to understand her point.as long as a man needs to bring money and other items to marry a woman then it means he bought her and invariably his property.who doesnt do what he or she likes with their property?she then went further to state the need why this tradition should be curbed or eradicated entirely.
ReplyDeleteJasmine love. She didn't make no sense at all. The money a man brings to marry a woman can be returned if they both don't want the marriage anymore. Her argument was baseless and as well insensitive because she was arguing from the standpoint of the woman whose hubby took out her uterus without her consent. So when the parents of that woman return the money he paid to marry her can he return her uterus? Sometimes one needs to think before responding to sensitive issues as this one especially on T.V. I listened carefully and this lady damn well said a whole lot of trash.
DeleteAproko exactly my point. The bride price can be returned without any stress.
DeleteA dramatic volte-face. Say what you mean & mean what you say...
ReplyDeleteI keep saying it that the worst job is fighting for the rights of Nigerians. Imagine someone going to protest for the rights of this kind of woman. What a waste
ReplyDeleteBut she is saying the truth nah. If we want to be civil, lets be civil but if we want to be traditional, lets be traditional. Africans are so confused.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteTruth is bitter! Tope no mind them.
DeleteYesterday, when I read the article on the girl who refused to kneel, the first question I asked myself was 'did her husband pay her bride price?'
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope she didnt allow him to. Because as feminists, if we are to tackle inequality and subservience in marraige, we must first tackle the issue of OWNERSHIP.
In traditional marriages, you as a woman are expected to kneel to show that your husband has dominance over you. Why? Because he has paid your bride price! Because he has BOUGHT you.
Indeed, when he has spent an exhorbitant amount of money buying goats, powder, foodstuff, etc. to 'buy' you, why won't he treat you like his property? He has BOUGHT you. Paid money to your parents for you. He OWNS you.
We in Africa have reduced the worth and value of a woman to goats, handbags and tubers of yam with this stupid bride price culture. Honestly, it's just like when we sold our own people as slaves for chamber pots, guns and bicycles.
That is why you will see a man treating his wife like crap in Africa and when the wife complains he says 'did you marry me or did I marry you?' Because as long as a man paid your bride price, you are akin to his property.
I understand that the beautiful Yoruba bride was trying to make a statement; to reject the idea of subservience and inferiority in marraige.
But if we are trying to change the narrative, we need to start from the genesis. If we are going to banish the principle of a man being superior to woman in marriage JUST by virtue of his private parts, then we can start by banishing the underlying principle of ownership.
If you as a bride reject the principle of your husband owning you, hence you kneeling before him, then reject the bride price.
Honestly. Because a lot of Nigerian men have gotten away with nonsense by virtue of this stupid bride price.
OK so you're saying a woman should just carry her things and waka to a man's house without performing any of the traditional rites so the marriage can start from there abi?... Issokay
DeleteI tire o. If you are single you are I trouble, now people are advocating for no bride price. Where do we stand?
DeleteAnon poster, you're damn intelligent. Slave mentality has entered Africans brain so much! They'd not understand you
DeleteThat was why I also responded that if shes Yoruba, those things could have been politely rejected or sent back by her parents/people to signify that she’s not being sold. Same thing with me, there are lots of stories out there now and lots of men and even in laws doing all sorts to their “new wives” all in the name of “your bride price has been paid”. My Yoruba parents returned the brideprice and money to my Igbo inlaws saying we always return that in our family because we don’t sell our daughters. Only the kola nut or so was shared amongst everybody there including my in-laws to signify something. I was also given wrappers saying I will use to carry children etc. Finish. All the rice, yam, goat, money etc wasn’t done. Same during my sister’s wedding too. At the end of the day, traditional marriage rites should not give men the excuse to treat their wives like objects instead of fellow human beings. Some parents also go the extra mile to make it clear that their daughters are not being sold while some other parents take the meek and turn it into a lopsided trade by barter that makes you wonder if they’re planning a marriage ceremony or a greed-laced business transaction
DeleteAnon 14; 48 Oshe oko mi! This is so true! That's why they view women over here as nothing but objects and playthings. Because women here are sold and bought like lifestock. That bride price thing is problematic as hell!
DeleteAs for Anons 19; 45 and 20; 06, obviously you are not prepared for obsolete traditions which do nothing but objectify women to be modified.
Why should a man pay an amount of money before he can 'collect' you?
Are you a handbag? Or a cellphone?
Yet when men treat you like their property, you complain (that's if you're women). Why are you complaining, now? Has he not bought you? Don't you belong to him?
The cultures in which bride price is not paid, does that mean that their marital rites are insignificant?
OK na. Keep being bought. Maybe you enjoy being treated like commodities.
Or if you are men, keep slaving and working hard trying to save money all in the name of 'bride price' and 'culture.'
Mmmmtcheeew!!
Stagnant people and their stagnant culture. No wonder the whole world has flourished and left Africa behind. You pea brained lots refuse to evolve.
Yimu. Damage control. I watched the video and this wasn’t exactly what she was trying to explain. She said if we are doing culture then we should do culture 100% and if we are doing “Americana” then we should do not 100%. Not doing half and half. That as long as our culture encourages bride price it means the woman has been bought by the man and therefore he has the right to do whatever he like with her...
ReplyDeleteI’m sure she didn’t expect the video to go viral and the backlash she received was out of the world. How can she even say the man has the right to do whatever he wants with his wife just cause he paid “for her head”? It’s like saying because you bought a goat at the market you have the right to decide when it dies. That’s how people indirectly encourage domestic violence against women bcus the feel she has been bought by the husband. Smh. No matter the amount that was spent as Dowry or marriage rites, it can always be returned if they decide to call it quits as those are mere materials things. But can the man ever return her womb? That Tope of a lady should be fired for making such an inciting statement. If na America now the company go don sack her as she portrays them in a bad light.
If you buy a goat in the market, you have the right to decide when it dies!
DeleteVirus, your goat illustration no follow at all. Is it the goat you bought at the market that decides what day you'll kill it for meat?
DeleteLet's not fool ourselves, buying something gives you outright ownership over that particular thing.It then balls down to the owner to treat his property humanely.
The world we are is so messed up, the western culture inclusive. Tope just spoke the truth. It's the frigging truth.
What virus meant is you can't buy a goat/pet and decide to be performing bestiality on it just cause you bought it!
DeleteBtw,some of you amaze me. So bride price now means buying of a whole human being created in God's image? Who birthed these swines with such mentality? Tueeh!
Shantelle thanks for helping me explain the goat analogy. My point still remains that, you cannot say bcus you paid whatever amount as bride price to marry your wife you have the right do whatever you like to her or harvest her organ. That was the topic of discussion when she said what she said.
DeleteTope is known for justifying men’s bad treatment of women Stella! I can post a video here where she justified a man having a side chick because his wife was busy at work as a banker and came home late and sometimes was too tired to have sex. The husband was probably a jobless lawyer!, so he has all the time in the world. The man called in and said his wife does not have time so he found a little side chick! Stella, this mad lady justified and supported him! It’s high time she gets insulted she is a very crazy lady and the type that can destroy homes with her terrible advice. She needs to be fired and taken off air! She even champions herself as a woman that fights for the rights of other women but bashes career women and every woman who has a voice, she calls a feminists and makes very snide comments. This woman is a hateful and obviously something is very wrong with her. I hope Morayo fires her.
ReplyDeleteI noticed that. She seems like the type that never hoped will do well because she got married.
DeleteAnonymous 15:30, you really know Tope!
ReplyDeleteThe 15:30 knows Tope. Those Tvc Your View presenters sha,don't know where Morayo got them from.
DeleteMarian with stoned eyeballs is sounding like someone that woke up from a night club.
Beecee with yellow tinted hair will wear green night shirt to newsstudio to be forming.
Jumoke will be discussing in a shouting tone, as a rastafarian forgetting she's not on a stage to perform.
They have to scrap that programme or change Yeni Kuti and Morayo to another department.
People will riot to CMS road one day they should know Nigerians deserve a worthy news hour reason been that 9am to 10am is an important time beat.
Then again,I agree to the ranting of anonymous,Tope always talk down on working women as she graduated from Yabatech and joined the Make Up beauty business, what do you want to hear from her, two years on she's a Motivational Speaker and Mentor, Nigeria is dead out, the younger generation is doomed.
What does Tope know that she's mentoring or motivating.
Tope is a very stupid lady .she makes a lot annoying statement mostly towards woman in general Tope n dat Muslim woman should be taken off from d program. Their comments is always irattling n annoying to d ear.Tope dat claim a make up artist is a glorified house wife. Uses less lady .better keep shut if u don't ve meaning full things to contribute on d show.shame on u Tope always against woman .
ReplyDeleteThey removed Uwa Saleh and her annoying comments.
DeleteWhat is Tope doing sitting there in the morning to review nonsense.
Chic is an illiterate switching make up colours in her 3bedroom flat at Egbeda.
TVC can do better, me I rather watch Patience Bello and Justin of Galaxy tv than watch Morayo and her Gang
When I watched the clip on IG, I was disappointed in Tope not until I watched the repeat broadcast and she also explained further on her page what she meant.
ReplyDeleteIf you watched the show you would understand what she is talking about. Even Tope would not support such act.Her point is if we don't treat the cause of this act from the foundation which is born out of the belief that we live in a patircahy society until our culture evolves,acts like this will keep surfacing.
Just look at comments from supposed sane humans...my goodness!
ReplyDelete