Emergency Room Series: Mental Slavery

Wonders wont end! 

This is just beyond me.

 You know, I used to wonder why when I was doing labour room posting in nursing school, relatives were keen on knowing if the child delivered was a male or female, they would ask the mother after delivery.

 Why does it matter?

 I wondered. If the mother says it is a male, they would scream 'eeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh, congratulations! and they would look super excited ' but if it was a female they would look less impressed. It baffled me, especially if the people asking the mothers were females themselves. It made it look like baby girls were not so wanted, especially as firstborns. 

There's usually a lot of pressure for couples to have a 'complete equation' of kids, that is boys and girls.

 In this society, if a woman has about 3 girls and no boy yet, she would start getting raised brows from family members as to how her children would carry the family name. She might start feeling sad, insecure or unworthy. This is exactly what unfortunately happened to the woman in this story. 

She was brought in unconscious. She was said to have delivered just two weeks ago via normal delivery at another hospital. When asked for her husband, we were told he was outside the country and she was living with her four other kids, all girls, at the house they built. She had just given birth to another girl, making five girls in total and had a small naming ceremony in the husband's absence. 

A few of her husband's relatives were living with them.

She was pale, unresponsive and gasping on presentation. She was frothing at the mouth and was blue. Her vital signs were poor and she had an irregular heartbeat. The doctors asked if she ate anything recently, the relatives that brought her in said they found a bottle that had no label on her bed beside her. We knew immediately that it was a suicide attempt or maybe she was poisoned, who knows. 

A relative was shouting at another saying 'you see what you have caused, I told you to leave her, why did you call her a witch, she is not God to give herself a boy, bla bla'. They started fighting so we called security to move them out. 

Apparently, a relative or relatives of the husband had been taunting her in her husband's absence that she didn't have a boy still and so doesn't really have a place in the wealth or family. The name on her card showed she was not of the same tribe with her husband.

We tried to rehydrate her with drips and flush her bloodstream to reduce the effect of whatever she ingested. She was suctioned several times and placed on oxygen. An NG tube was passed. She was placed in cardiac position. After about 20mins since they arrived, her heart stopped. CPR commenced for about 25minutes. She had shots of adrenaline too but her heart was probably too weak so she died.

 Everything happened so fast. Since the relatives were outside and in a battle of fists, a doctor had to go out to call one of them in to break the news to him inside. As soon as he heard, he rushed out crying to tell others and they started running towards the woman's cubicle but we didn't let them in. 

A woman later arrived and identified herself as the deceased's sister and she was allowed to come in. She didn't cry much. She asked a lot of questions as to what the doctors did and how the patient presented at the hospital. She said she was a lawyer too. She looked mean. In fact, she had police escorts. I don't know how she knew the lady had died. She told the doctor that her sister had been tortured by the husband's family over the years and she would make them pay.

 She said she told her not to get pregnant again but her sister insisted and said she believed in faith that it would be a boy so she can have peace. She said the patient never asked for the baby's gender throughout the pregnancy and just believed it was going to be a boy. She was said to have bought boy clothing, fasted and prayed and it was a rude shock when she delivered a girl, again. 

The patient's sister further said her husband doesn't mind but the husband's sisters and mother are the culprits and she would make sure they spend the rest of their lives in jail, bla bla bla. 

The woman's corpse was packed and her sister wanted to take the corpse away. She made a few phone calls in our presence. The relatives outside refused and threatened to call the deceased's husband before he arrives if the corpse isn't given to them. One of the relatives slapped one of the escorts and they began to throw fists again. I was so pissed. 

None of them was even remorseful that they had just lost someone who left behind five young children but were just fighting and raining insults on each other. We had to keep the corpse pending the time the husband would be informed and return. I can't begin to imagine how the man would feel when told. I can't imagine how long they have been torturing the woman because she doesn't have a male child, for her to kill herself because of that. Mind you, after delivery, most mothers are prone to something we call 'postpartum depression" and is characterized by a range of emotions from transient mood lability, irritability, and weepiness, to marked agitation, delusions, confusion, and delirium.

 It gets so bad sometimes that some mothers wouldn't want to breastfeed and would just cry all day like a baby, some could even be violent. Imagine someone going through all that psychological trauma and still being verbally abused and neglected, just because she didn't give birth to a boy. 

How heartless!

 What is wrong with having all girls? Why are women who don't have male children seen as outcasts and are often neglected by even their own family as if it is a disease?? I hope the relatives involved get the full wrath of the law!! 

I know a lot of women are in this shoe, whereby family members put pressure on them to have male children like its a matter of life and death


Some women even risk their lives or health so as to carry the pregnancy. It makes no damn sense! If anything happens to the woman now, they would only mourn for a while and everyone moves on. This also applies to couples who only have boys and family members are telling them to 'try again for a girl'. Is it their business? Will they pay the school fees or pay for feeding? Will they carry the pregnancy for the woman?

 What kind of mental slavery is that?.

*I was reading and praying that i would read that she died and was really sad when i got to that part and the reason why....Sad sad sad!!!