STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED ASAP
Dear House kindly assist me with your opinion.
I married a two face man, the greatest mistake of my life.
The marriage has produced a child who will be 1 soon. As I’m typing this the marriage is on the verge of been dissolve but the issue at hand is about our baby. You see my baby father knows how to paint a story from black to white and people will so believe him.
He also find it difficult to provide for his child not to talk about me. He has said to me uncountable times to leave his house even with his child as he does not need us but when his child grows old he will come and claim her.
My issue is now how to go about our child,
- I’m scared of taking my child along with me as this is what the father wants to relive him of the responsibility of caring for her.
- I’m scared of taking the child with me after going through the stress of bringing her up her father will come and brainwashed her as he has been brainwashing everybody how evil I am making my child hate me.
- I’m scared of leaving the child with him as he will only dump her with his mother and her upbringing I don’t know how she will manage.
I love my child so much that I don’t know what to do now without her, I can’t continue to stay with the dad as he has killed all love and emotion between us and I don’t want to commit murder neither do I want to die that's why I’m walking out. I can’t go to human right as he is a very cunning man who will only make a promise and won’t fulfil.
Please someone should help a sister.
Thanks
*Na wah oh...
My issue is now how to go about our child,
- I’m scared of taking my child along with me as this is what the father wants to relive him of the responsibility of caring for her.
- I’m scared of taking the child with me after going through the stress of bringing her up her father will come and brainwashed her as he has been brainwashing everybody how evil I am making my child hate me.
- I’m scared of leaving the child with him as he will only dump her with his mother and her upbringing I don’t know how she will manage.
I love my child so much that I don’t know what to do now without her, I can’t continue to stay with the dad as he has killed all love and emotion between us and I don’t want to commit murder neither do I want to die that's why I’m walking out. I can’t go to human right as he is a very cunning man who will only make a promise and won’t fulfil.
Please someone should help a sister.
Thanks
*Na wah oh...
It is well
ReplyDeleteHow can you ever consider leaving a girl child with an uncaring man? Do you know what that alone will do to her future? Please carry your child if you just leave, give her the best and let her know she can do whatever on her own, raise her in the way of the Lord and trust that He will take care of her and make her never leave you
Deleteplease and please do not leave that child behind if you decide to go.
DeleteAnyhow you want to do it, do not for the life of u dare leave that child behind. Relocate with ur child even if its to ghana, cut off all ties with him so he can never find her in future to brainwash her against u. Good luck.
DeleteMy dear, I feel your pain. This sounds so much like my story. Married to a manipulative, sneaky and cunnining Soul.I presently hate his guts, Bitter and Angry about my marriage. He is so full of twisted stories and versions of events, he always has a story to tell to either families,friends,church and even neighbours.I'm glad I'm finally moving on. I can't deal.He even boldly said in his words"I thought u said pastor cannot be manipulated.
DeleteYou should be thankful you have only one child with him,and she's a baby girl that will grow up to marry and forget about her father's house. Biko carry your child and run to wherever you will be useful to your self and daughter.
ReplyDeleteYou can make it with the baby, don't be afraid of anything.
Are you sure you’re fit to be a mother? Why are you already worried about the future of a child who is barely one? Did she ask you to bring her into the world via a deadbeat man? Do what is best for that child now, how dare you think of leaving a baby behind because you’re scared she’d go with her father when you’ve trained her? Some of you get into a mess in the name of marriage then use your kids as baits. If you’re tired of your marriage then leave but don’t act like you’re doing that child a favor with whatever decision you want to take because she didn’t ask to be born. Also if your hands are clean of whatever you won’t be so scared that your baby’s daddy would win any case against you.
ReplyDeleteIt is very sad many have kids because it is expected of them no plans for them at all
DeleteLove is unconditional ,
DeleteLove is not selfish.
Love is selfless.
So madam, love your daughter more than yourself.
If u did, your aim would be to give her the best. Wether she goes back to her dad or not.
Besides, you have her , why not tell her what you want her to know.
Never paint her dad too bad (ie the truth)now.
You can do that when she grows up
Poster, you shouldn't be asking question or need anybody to advice you on this. How can you leave your child behind? How dare you think such?
DeleteWhatever decision you take, don't let your child, I repeat don't let your child stay 100cms away from you. Centimeters I said, not meters oh...
ReplyDeleteAbout the marriage, may God direct your decisions.
If you're leaving him, take the child with you na. How can you even think of leaving your girl child behind, even a boy for that matter coz you even mentioned that he's having problems to provide for her. Don't do what you will regret later.
ReplyDeletePlease take your baby with you and don't look back. Since your baby would be with you, you would have the sole responsibility of bringing her up and teaching her all about her Dad. Stop limiting yourself.
ReplyDeleteGo with your child and report him to social welfare.
ReplyDeleteYour child is not a toy that should be used for all these negotiations na. Many times people just have kids without Thinking about the child's welfare because if you both did both of you would put the child's interest ahead of any of your issues
@poster 15.08 what will social welfare do for them in this part of the world.
DeleteLet her divorce him right away and get a job.
Social welfare really helps single mothers go and find out
DeleteWelfare helps single mothers. If the man defaults in paying, they go to his office and the amount will be deducted from his salary by his workplace. People just think they don't work. Even the poster has written them off. It doesn't matter what he tells them, the money they will ask him to pay you will be for the kid's upkeep. Leave with your child and go to welfare. All the best
DeleteWalk away with your child.No body knows tomorrow..
ReplyDeleteNa wa oh, while I am here so down bcos my friends wife just had a baby and I don't after how manybyears and my husband is still saying he isn't ready
ReplyDeleteAre u sure your husband is not sterile?
DeleteThis is serious
ReplyDeleteThe only advise I have for you is never to leave your child behind if and when you decide to leave.
ReplyDeleteIf you are leaving, leave with your child.
ReplyDeleteleave with your child, and let the future take care of itself...
ReplyDeleteThis thing is very easy na.
ReplyDeleteLeave the evil man and tell your child the story (your father is not a good man). Let her see you work hard to raise her.
Some men are not worth it......don't cover up for him. Don't even try it cos you might regret it.
Dear Poster, Please DO NOT leave your child with anyone. If you must leave, Please take your child with you. If your mother is alive, she may help you out with caring for your child. If she isn't, Please care for her by yourself and God will see you through. Your child is too young to be left with anyone. Get a job, learn a trade, get something to do so you can take care of your baby. Wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteIf you love your child so much like you stated, don’t be worried about the ‘stress’ you will use in raising her. Don’t be worried that she will be brainwashed tomorrow. You are making it more about your estranged husband than your precious baby girl.
ReplyDeleteI guess you are still bitter that is why you are already calculating what this child’s choice will be in the next 17years. It takes time, but the anger will go.
You did not state a financial constrain that means you can manage to raise that child. Some women are even battling to take their babies along with them and yours have given you the go ahead to do so.
Whatever you do, don’t turn the child against her Dad so she doesn't grow up messed up... Let her be the judge of character. Kids are wise, if she is raised right, she will never depart from you.
Walk away with your baby!
Hey poster, if this man is not caring for the girl right now but you are, what difference will it make if you leave that thing you called marriage with your child? You’ve taking care of her till date, why not just continue outside the man’s house/life? About the future? Leave that for God!
ReplyDeleteWhy are you scared?
ReplyDeleteDo you have a job? If yes then I think you can take care of your child.
Don't make mistake of leaving your child with him. You can let the baby stay with your family so you can hustle. Go get when you are ready and comfortable mentally and financially.
My dear, if you have a means to take care of your child please take her with you, worry about tomorrow when you get there, you think it easy to just show up when the child is grown and take her? Except he plans on stealing her? In that case instruct the school properly.
ReplyDeleteMadam take your child along, which one is he will brainwash her? Are u not the one that will bring her up?
ReplyDeleteWhen your child grws and start to ask questions...pls do NOT paint her dad black, tell her her dad was good in his own right but wasn't good enough for you so both of you decided to call it quits. Tell her her dad loves her, don't make that girl to grow up tomorrow and start looking for validation from boys/men. Try your best to not use her as the basis of your failed marriage if not she will still grow up to hate you.
There's a way you will so much make her dad look good that if the man tries tomorrow to bad mouth u, she won't accept it. But if u are filled with so much bile and hate, when your ex comes with his stories, she might believe him.
We all know how hard it is to get a man to pay for child support in this part of the world but that won't make you not to hussle for your child's sake. What if her dad was dead, won't u bring her up by yourself?
Just take your child and try as much as you can to give her a good life devoid of hate against her dad. You are thinking too much about the future, that man can drop dead tomorrow or 5 years time, then what would u do? Stop worrying about him brainwashing your baby tomorrow it makes it appear like you are just interested in your child as an "assurance" for future and nothing more.
Oga/madam, why you too like wahala ni, why you come dey mention my name inside yesterday's chronicle? So I can no longer state my opinion in peace here because.....?
DeleteYou actually left more than one comment yesterday...true or false? Here you are again writing epistle.
...and if I want the guy to marry me, how e take affect your bank account?
Uncle/aunty biko hapum aka let me comment in peace when I can inu?
Now you don get the attention.
OK bye.
Poster, let your child know only the truth about the Dad. Do not cover up his misdeeds though I am quite sure that she would get to know by herself or don't you plan to relate with the Dad at all? As time goes on things will be sorted out, trust me.
DeleteNa wah, marital problems here and there.
ReplyDeletePoster, you did not tell the house what you did that made your hubby not to provide for his baby and even asked you to leave the house with her... Please tell us a complete story so that we would know how to balance the situation and proffer solution.
My dear sister please leave now when you can, train up your child well and pray continuously for her that nobody will turn her against you, i was in a similar situation so i feel your pain
ReplyDeleteHow did the marriage get to the verge of being dissolved?
ReplyDeleteWhile some women are fighting their Exs over keeping their kids, you are here yarning dust.....
ReplyDeletePls don't leave your child...this kind of thing happened to my mum ( she was given out in marriage to a much olde man. She was 12 and he was 40 from Igbo background o. When she was growing up and giving birth the love dissappeeared, i guess reality set in and nature took it cause. She left eith her children to her parent's house, but because she didnt have any help her children were forcefully taken away from her...4 children and the man wrote RIP on her picture and told the children all manner of lies about my Mum. It affected the children although when they grew up they were told the whole truth by some kind neighbours and they came looking for thier mother but just last year the last and only girl wedded and didn't invite her mother. Meanwhile to God be all the glory, my mum remarried and gave birth to me and my sister. We have grown up into beautiful women and we don't play with our mother (and even though she is separated with my dad now because of incompatibility- he could not stand up to his ppl who hate my mother and for the fact that he married a woman dat had given birth to 4 children, he's always reporting thier issues to his family and you know how these kind of things pans out ) but we no de play with her o...the woman has really suffered in this life just because of forceful early marriage. I plan to get a car for her soon. And I'm gonna write a book on her story someday. You all will love to read it. So poster don't leave your child o, u are lucky u have only one. Some men are toxic but there are good men too. Don't worry true love will find you someday.
ReplyDeleteMwwahhhhh....here love. This ginormous kiss is for you.
DeleteIts a really sad situation and i have nothing much to say except that you should never leave your child behind. May God guide you.
ReplyDeletePlease take your child along with you, don't even think of living without her
ReplyDeleteYou love your child?
ReplyDeleteThen do not leave what you love behind.
The love you give this child is what she will give back.
Look inwards and find your faults; everyone has one.
If the marriage scatters, do not see this man as the sole culprit
unless both of you did not love yourselves before the marriage.
Via poster how can you think of leaving your one year old with a deadbeat dad, ehn? If you don't want that child to curse you go with her. Be good to her and tell her nice things about him because when he comes for her he will try to sow seeds of discord but because you'd have trained her well she's know who is being truthful. Long and short take your child with you and give her the best you can.
ReplyDeleteYou love your child so much, yet it crossed your mind to leave her with the Dad? Since you do not want your child's father to eat his cake and have it, the best thing to do is to report him at the Human Rights Office. Try as much as possible to give your child the best that you can afford. Take care.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, pls take your child/daughter with you. And give her the best you can at this material time. Teach her values and good morals. It doesn't matter which way she swings in future. If you lay a good foundation, then there is no
ReplyDeletePoster, am also a single mother. Formerly married to a poor 3gotistical foolish man. He never bothered abt our baby,no problems, he never had money ever. Am sure he is still wretched. Pls take ur kid along,the joy is in taking care of him. If in the future he comes for the baby,no problems he will find out the type of man hhis daddy is. Simple. Remember, not without ur child. Ign
ReplyDeleteYou better don’t leave your child to suffer madam!their is no way your husband can brainwash your child when she grows old,she will definitely know what’s happening and what happened...
ReplyDeleteMy mum separated with my dad when I was young,she left us with him when she was going.but my dad threw me and my younger brother out of the house different days because of the new wife he married!now we older and the wife has been calling me acting all nice and trying to claim us back..
Which is not possible,because even though I was young when I was thrown out of the house I knew what happened and what has happened while growing up..their is no how I can go back to my dad!
I wonder what would have happened if my mum sent us back to my dad when he threw us out!
Now my mum is chopping all the life courtesy her kids(myself and my younger brother) so be wise sis!!
Mtschewwwww I don't even believe this love u have for this little girl. You sre considering leaving her with a deadbeat.....
ReplyDeleteAnon 17:50, thanks for the kiss.
ReplyDeleteI do not know what to say to you but please, make sure that girl stays with you. Hustle and take care of her and keep her out of all these drama.
ReplyDeleteAlways pray for wisdom for her and she will grow to learn how to discern the truth and false, evil and good on her own.
All the best.
Make a recording of when he tells you to go with the child and how he doesn't need her.
ReplyDeleteThen go with your child, do not leave your child.