STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
IN LAW BROUHAHA
Thanks a lot for the good work you are doing for us,i have been a silent bv for a very long and I must say your blog is the best in the whole wide world .
Now to my chronicle,Stella, I got married in 2016 by then my husband was not working ,I was, so we opted to stay in his parents house .
In 2017 after we welcome dour son by the grace of God he got a new Job.His parents are good but they are very controlling,my mil can come to my room anytime she wants and makes decisions for me like I am a slave,anything I cook I must send some to them,when I am washing she will bring my brother in laws clothes for me to wash and I told my husband to buy a washing machine but my mil will say in her time she didn't use washing machine so why should I ..
hmmmm.....
Mind you we are both Ghanaians .....
When I gave birth my mil promised to take good care of me so my mom shouldn't come and I foolishly agreed but I ended up doing my own omogwu.
Recently my husband bought a new Refrigerator for us and before we knew it my mil and sister in law started selling ice cream in my fridge even though they also have refrigerator o,because of that they don't put on their refrigerator just to use mine,i can't complain and my husband too can't talk.
Stella, I am an online marketing officer so I don't usually go to the office unless I am submitting my report or a general meeting.so most times I am home.Initially I thought when their ice cream are block they will come for it I didn't know I am suppose to sell it,these children can disturb for Africa always knocking and saying I WILL BUY ICE CREAM even if I am in the bathroom,bathing my baby,sleeping or on the phone with my boss, i need to leave and go and sell even when my in-laws are outside instead of them to come and sell,they will tell the children to knock harder .And when they eventually come to sell then they will check my frigde whether I have foodstuffs then they will take them.
my mil will never closes my fridge after opening when I complain she will say I don't respect. Last Monday,i came back from work to meet my mil in my kitchen selling ice cream and she said I should take them to church to sell i pretended that I didn't hear..... what nonsense . Why can't my sil sell them because the ice cream are for her but she will dress and go and experts me to carry them on my head to church.
Sometimes I look at them and shake my head.So this family have no shame,my sil doesn't do anything o just sleeping and outings.My mil doesn't respect me and my husband.My husband said he would rather build than rent a place so he had bought the land and preparing to build,Stella if I continue to stay in that house I will go crazy and fight one day .
Stella please I need your red pen.
*Ah ah,what kind of MIL is this?I seriously do not know what to say cos the only thing i can ask you to do is move out..leave that negative environment..
Hian....this one tight o
ReplyDeleteYou better go and rent a one bedroom flat and move out.. You want to wait till you finish building?? God forbid.
DeleteHian! Sell ice cream kwa! Kpele poster
DeleteThere is nothing "strange" about how your in laws are acting,the problem is from you that expects free good things, Robert Greene in 48 laws of power will tell you to stay away from free things,nothing good comes free,for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction so if you want to be respected find your way outta there If u love free things just know you will pay for the free things with chopping insults.
DeletePlease look for money and rent a room self contain.Tell your husband after renting the house, he will move in with you since his money isnt involve.When rent expire na him go pay.
DeleteAre you reasoning from your anus or what? Staying in a family house does not stop them from treating her right. I'm quiet sure you are the sister inlaw.
DeleteIt is better you look for a very small inexpensive apartment to live and leave that toxic environment before you go mad. Since your husband already has a job, you guys should just put in your best efforts and ensure you live a better deserving life in another environment.
DeleteMove out madam
DeleteWell, the mistake has already been made , that is,
DeleteLiving with them in the first place. So now, what do you know?
Check your account and your husband’s. This building of house, how realistic is it? When would it likely be done (at least, become livable) - cos truly, I would rather you move to your own place than rent a place. BUT you need to know what the plan is and for how long it will take.
Another strategy is - getting a side job that can make you leave the house and make them babysit their grandchild/niece (nephew). After a few weeks, dem no go wan do an again and everybody go begin de on their own ... 😂
Or you add your own stuff to sell and turn it to a full fledged market because well, you’re home anyways 🤷🏽♀️
While still hammering oga on the house thing. Give him a deadline to get the building habitable ( that you won’t mind even if it just has windows and doors - you gotta know how to guilt trip- ) or he gets an apartment! Don’t use your money to get a house!!!
And finally, DO NOW WASH ANY BAGGERS CLOTHES AGAIN, even hubby’s till they stop bribing youths brothers clothes to add to you!
All these strategies require strength of mind. They see you as weak, that’s why all this BS. You need to change but subtly. Don’t try to ingratiate yourself anymore
Move out o or did they tie you down? Your husband is now working so he has no excuse not to get a place howvever how little it is and if he can’t then get a place, invite him to join you if he wants to or he should keep living with his family. It’s see finish mixed with poverty mentality and it won’t stop no matter how many times you lament.
ReplyDeletePls kindly move out, get a room apartment and let your husband knows after paying for it. Move All your things out ( emphasis on "all" because I am not sure your mil and sil will allow you carry those household gadgets).
DeleteYour husband can't even talk or confront them, I am sure he is a mummy's boy and thats why his changing mouth now that until he builds a house, I am sure he had it all planned out all along before he lost the so called job, he just kept it as a secret
Hmmm I don’t know wat to say either, I can feel ur pain
ReplyDeletewheres that yesterdays chronicle poster? come and read oh.
ReplyDeleteYou dey mind her? She wan show say she be good wife. If only she knows the intention of some of these inlaws!
DeleteMove out sis
ReplyDeleteSimple! MOVE OUT!!!!Please rent a small place while you guys are building yours. It's a no brainer.
DeleteNa wah!! The modest thing to do is leave the house for your sanity.You and your hubby should pull resources together and get a small place then build from there.It will even increase the urgency for your husband to start building but if you keep staying at your MIL's your husband will be comfortable and take his time to build.
ReplyDeleteOR
If you both decide to keep staying at your MIL's rules has to be made.The problem is your hubby is cold and i want to believe he is the type that will want you to go fight for him but apply wisdom jare.If i were in your shoes, i will get another small fridge in my room and stock it up till theres no space so that they wont have access to it and leave the other one for them or even carry it to their apartment so that they stop disturbing you.This kind people you don't need to exchange words with them just finish them with attitude.
Taking care of your new born is enough work already which one is carrying ice cream to Church again? Please go visit your mum, change enviroment small and leave them and their ice cream for your sanity..
i agreed with your advice. Pls leave the place for awhile. Health first
DeleteI have serious issues with the husband. It wouldn't have been this bad for her if only the man can take Hus stand. There's nothing as frustrating as a weak man. So I will wash my husband's cloth then wash my brother in-laws cloth too abi. Them never jam. Nonsense
DeleteYour husband said he will rather build than rent???? And when will this housing project be complete. Hmmmm
ReplyDeleteMy advice; leave that house. Your mother inlaw has every right to do whatever she likes in her "own home". So what do you want to do? Dictate your likes and dislikes in her home.
You better tell your husband to go rent. Even if it's a one bedroom flat. I can never live with an inlaw it causes see finish and disrespect which I can't handle.
It even spoils relationships. I can't spend more than weekend in my in-laws house abeg.
He just bought the land o. Haaa
DeleteWhy did you get married when your husband didn't have a house in the first place?and even on top of that doesn't know how to stand his ground,I really don't pity some people with such chronicles cause as a BV that you are you still haven't learnt anything from the blog so how den will you take our advice
ReplyDeleteGod bless you anon. You opened your korokoro eyes and married a jobless man who still lived with his mama and siblings! Now that he has a job, he still doesn't want to pay rent. You never see drama na. Your inlaws are just using your services to offset your rent. Nothing is free in Freetown o. You better use your money to pay for one room somewhere before you go crazy. This is the sort of insult you "enjoy" when you rush into marriage without a feasible financial and administrative plan. Oh Charlie! Ghana people, una doh o.
DeleteArrant Bull crap
ReplyDeleteYou and hubby should go and rent a room at least
Why marry a man who have no place of his own in the first place
I hope when you guys build, they will not stylishly come to live with you?
Your husband doesn't care that they are demeaning you.
ReplyDeleteIt's his duty to make them re-align.
I hope there's actually a land he is building on.
Please ladies, learn, concrete accomodation plans should have been made before wedding.
Don't start what you can't finish.
Leave the environment when you're still sane,if I were you I'll get a technician to tamper with the fridge ,tell mil the fridge is malfunctioning.Im sure she will find another refrigerator to freeze her ice cream .Your husband is not even helping,so he can't get a small apartment for you before he build his,he can afford to buy a land but can't do that.Gosh men of nowadays can be so wicked ,why keep your wife in a toxic environment.Its not like his building is near completion,he hasn't even started.
ReplyDeleteI think this is what happens when you marry a poor man.
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteWhich one is he can't rent but build? Does he want to kill you?
ReplyDeleteYou shouldnt haev agreed to living with them. You caused this. You should have rented even self contained and pay for it, than receiving all these insults. Just start going to work, look for a ploace and go to in the morning and come back late. To solve this issue right now, you must move!!!!!!!!!
See y I like my BIL? He would walk u out of his house if u dare overstep or disrespect his wife or no matter who u are.
ReplyDeleteLet ur husband man up n set ground rules for his mom and buy them their own fridge.
You see ehn, with in-laws never start what you wouldn't be able to finish. From the beginning you shouldn't have allowed certain things. Now to end it would be difficult and a disagreement WILL ensue. I also live with the in-laws (same compound different buildings) and from the get go, I didn't allow some things. If not for wisdom, I would have been turned into the cook for everyone in the house. Now its the cousin that cooks for them and he has been turned to a slave. The day he returns from work late, no one eats. Even though there's always soup and stew.
ReplyDeletePoster, when she's all up in your face with suggestions, you either say nothing and pretend not to hear or agree but still do what you want.
Your husband has a huge role to play in this, he has to tell them off, not you.
This is what i call IN LAWS from the pit of hell. but wait o you have your own kitchen in your in-laws house?
ReplyDeleteTwo options poster.
ReplyDelete1.Put preasure on ur hubby and pay rent out of the money ur hubby is struggling to save and shelve being ur own landlady for now.
2.Endure a little longer and apply alot of love and wisdom in a balanced equation till your paln with your husband materialise. Get an extra job or biz that will take u out of the house which will even translate to more money, more respect and faster realization of your own house.
Madam, i am sure u married into it with ur 2 eyes wid open and have prepared ur mind from the beginning to live with inlaws. A little while longer will not kill u.
Dont fight o. Pray. Additional job. Love.
I hate this kind of family disturbance and that's my worst fear now
ReplyDeleteOMG!! It is well o. That knocking can be annoying.
ReplyDeleteSeriously!!!!!Hmmm.Madam you had better start arranging your load and leave with your husband.Meanwhile,is he not aware of these things they are soon to you?and he is still comfortably leaving there?Even if it’s a room you can afford,Pls get out of that environment.Not healthy at all.
ReplyDeleteSo you will live in that agony till your husband is done building? Oh Please!
ReplyDeleteYou need to talk to your husband about moving, because very soon your husband will start siding them, and will not even listen to your own version.
You shouldn't have agreed to live with parents inlaw, it brings INSULT, See finish and all that.
why are some women so mean?!
ReplyDeletePoster sorry about your ordeal. In my own opinion I think you shouldd go out often. Leave your son with them afterall he's their grandson. Get your life back on track by making yourself scarce. Your husband should try and rent a small place. Please sit him down and tell him what you are going through before you fall into depression. Better still go and stay a while withh your parents to get your sanity back. It is well with you. Yesterday's poster Shey you see that you are lucky!!!
ReplyDeletePoster I advice you look for mini flat you can afford and move out ,with wisdom try and persuade your hubby to move out with you .because one day there will be a family fight and it will lead to bad blood .use wisdom dear
ReplyDeleteTiwa
madam, when you were marrying somebody who still lives with his parents what did you expect? You come carry belle join? hiann!! toh, sorry ehh, endure it, maybe when your horseband builds a house after 7 years your suffering will all be over and the "wait will be worth it"
ReplyDeleteDid you people do courtship?
ReplyDeleteMIL no dey that time?
SIL no dey that time?
Abi you care tape cover ya eyes dey fork no remember day
you suppose study all of them eh?
All of a sudden them don become monsters.
One sided tori!
Please explain to ur hubby dat u can't wait for him to complete d building before moving. Get a rented apartment and MOVE
ReplyDeleteJust move out, with or without your husband please. This is for the sake of your sanity. From selling ice cream in church it'll be hawking soonest
ReplyDeleteYour husband is used to his mum and expects you to be the same, tell him everything you told BVs and let your husband know you are at tipping point.
ReplyDeleteThis is sickening. I had to read out the part where your mother in law brings her other son's clothes for you to wash to my colleague not knowing there's worse. Can't your husband pay for a self contained room for you both while he builds? I can't take have the trash you take God knows. Your best bet is to leave that environment but you are married to a man who isn't considering the mental health of his wife.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is a two faced man and a weakling. He pretends not to notice what his sister and mother were doing but waiting for you to react so they can termed you a bad wife. He cannot even defend you. Turn the heat on him to rent a room fast before you will frustrated in that house.
ReplyDeleteDon't argue or fight with your MIL but disturb your husband to move out. Don't relent.
Thanks best comment ever!
DeleteEnd time mother in-law.
ReplyDeleteYou and your husband should gather money together to rent a small place first pending when he will finish building.
ReplyDeleteIf it won't take too long, just wait for the house
ReplyDeleteI would really appreciate a feedback on this chronicle, how u eventually handled it and the outcome.
ReplyDeletePls come back and tell us
So you want to stop what you have started?
ReplyDeleteWill you dictate to your mother inlaw and sister inlaw howto behave in their own house?
If you want to be madam, tell your husband to get house and pay rent.
This one is not a chronicle.
If it's his father's house, it is also the son's house. He alone has the power to stop the acts from his people.
DeleteAm I dat stupid that I will wash my BIL's clothes. Truth be told, if there's no machine, I won't even wash my MIL's clothes. For what na?
Her mother in law is in her house, husband’s house or whatever.
DeleteHer son should provide a house for his own wife, or they both should suck it up and continue suffering.
Will you was your mother's clothes ? Is she not now your mother by marriage,has she not welcome u and her grand child openly...
DeleteIf you can't beat them, join them. If you can't move out, lie low. And why not add your own hustle too, by selling plantain chips & groundnuts along with their ice cream...
ReplyDeleteYou've got to make the best of a bad situation, since you're stuck in there at the moment. But if you can't stand the heat, you better tiptoe out of the kitchen & RUN...
So she should now carry ice-cream and go and be selling for them???
DeleteGod forbid bad thing. Marriage! Marriage! Marriage! And this is what some people end up calling marriage.
What was the rush about? Why couldn't she wait for the guy to be on his feet before marrying him??? Now look at the mess she calls a marriage
You are the architect of your own problem, tell your husband to rent even a cubicle for you by fire by thunder. So you will have to complete a house first, if not expect to fight soon if you don turn to ice cream seller. Me that loves my space. Use style to plead with your husband,massage his ego and pray he listens.
ReplyDeleteIf it was a reverse case her mum using the fridge will she complain?
ReplyDeletePoor Man,,, sweeping him away with broom .. Shuu shuu shuuu
DeleteYou need to leave that place ASAP.. This is so wrong!! Your husband is the cause, so light his ass on fire to get an apartment. Build ko, which day did he start working that he is waiting to complete a house before moving out, abi na mud hut???
ReplyDeleteBiko Biko Biko
Then washing clothes for your brother in law?? Oh Jesu !! Which face ??
Queen, your advice is needed here.
ReplyDeleteI keep saying it, some men are wicked!! I think they pride themselves in having their extended family torment their wife! My husband falls in this category! I mean why should your wife wash your brother or even your mother’s clothes! If you don’t want to but washing machine how about have someone come in to wash for all? My mil told me she never knew suffering till she married and I should suffer too as that’s what happens when a woman marries, I learnt early that my husband is spineless and I now put distance between my self and my in laws
ReplyDeleteSuch men are very wicked. They will even join to badmouth the wife.
DeleteFunny part is dat the so called mil dnt see anytin wrong in her actions
ReplyDeleteMadam the biggest mistake you made was staying in the family house.my mother made that mistake when she married my dad!! The younger ones will insult my mom together with mother in law. Then we stay in Benin, if we chop eggs mother in law go enter Dustin go count how many eggs we chop, y my mom go chop eggs or drink mineral or use gas cooker cook wen she dey use firewood. If my dad buy my mom clothes na war.till wen we struggle to run to lag. Ladies never in your life marry and agree to stay in your Mil house or family house.well most church don't agree.the man go highest rent a room.
ReplyDeleteMove out.
ReplyDeleteSit your husband down and make him see reasons why you need to move out,get a room self contain and manage till you finish building your house,both of you can tell them it's his office that gave you accommodation.Rest of mind is very very very important.please send a feedback to Stella
ReplyDeleteDiscuss again with ur hubby nd if he is not willing to leave,move out for ur sanity.
ReplyDelete