Monday, August 27, 2018
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fear of the unknown
ReplyDeleteUnknown known you mean?
DeleteWhen una go dey swing una unclothed hips they model around the horseband
na unknown be dat?
I'm one of those that feels there is no reason to cut off your single friends because men don't cut their own friends off. I love my friends regardless of their relationship status and I can't imagine just discarding them because of marriage but something happened to me this weekend that made me realize why people do this. A single friend asked to come and stay with me for 10 days with another female friend and I said yes (I knew hubby won't be around that period but my friend doesn't know that). Can you believe that she recently came to tell me that she will be coming with two female friends instead of one? I said no but I was more irritated that she even asked in the first place. I think for some people the reason they stop being friends with single friends is because those friends are not ready to respect the changes that come with their new status and it's not even a battle worth fighting.
DeleteNa mumu dey worry them!
DeleteIt's not for fear of the unknown. They are too busy, from taking care of the children to doing home and school runs. she don't even have time to take care of herself.
DeleteSo please dear single friends I didn't cut you off I. I'm just too busy even if God extend the hours to 30 per day it still won't be enough.
Well said Stella Melody, some people don't understand.
DeleteAnonymous 19.32 you got that right . Priorities change. Sometimes it ta even worse when a kid comes n. They have unrealistic expectations they don’t understand how your life has changed and they are not willing to understand or respect that change. Eiyah. Anyway my bestie and I go T married at the same time so we both understood each other.
DeleteFor me, I even stay away from friends once they marry. From experience, I think it is the natural thing to do unless the parties involved are mature and ready to adjust to the changes. The conversations and topics between female friends will know change, the wife naturally strives to please her husband which may rub off as show off to the single friend. And the wife tend to want to hang out with married people more.
DeleteI for one don't really care because eventhough I don't keep friends.I learnt a lesdonn when my former bestfriend got married. I visited based on their invitation for a week. The husband was well behaved till the very last day of my visit. He just came to grab me from my back. I wanted to shout but I would gain nothing if I destroyed that marriage because I know my babe will walk out. And the blame would be on me. This is the reason I give married girlfriends gap. Not like I have so much🤷
So true. It's not because she is forming or she's feeling fly. She has a lot of responsibilities, she sometimes forgets her own needs. I don't hang out with single ladies anymore, they never understand the stress that comes with marriage and children. They gossip behind your back and start the Because she is married talk...
DeleteBecause of ndi oshi amu -Amu robbers.
ReplyDeleteBut with/without friends most men will still cheat. Even with your trusted relative.
DeleteLol@ oshi amu.....
DeleteBeen listening to (don't say goodbye by Tevin campbell..) on reply for more than 1hr now!!! What a talent!!! 199's rock joor. When good music's were made not now again. When men respected women... Talk to women through music and TLC...
Brings back memories, nice ones....
When you finish with Tevin, move over to Brandy. Thank God I knew music when it had meaning not the rubbish I see these days.
DeleteJust done with Brandy, Ginuwine is next
DeleteWell.......let the married women get in here
ReplyDeleteYes o
DeleteSome friends behave somehow after marriage
ReplyDeleteSome don't want stories that touches the heart
Many reasons!!!
If ya lady friends no dey married, them be potential time bombs for the marriage.
ReplyDeleteEvery advice go dey skewed, make you return to them spot. If opportunity no provide imself, them go provide opportunities with themselves come thief the husband thing enter them tohtohtohtoh tototo . . .
Chai, this stammering don SNATCH again!
I maintained my Single friends but have learnt which ones to have over at my home in my absence. Not all single friends are bad. There are still some that are trust worthy.
ReplyDeleteIn ya absence? Mmmmmmhhhhhh -wetin them dey come do -okay, them dey come quench that fire wey dey burn for the other room?
DeleteYa, fire service ladies.
Hahaha @fire service ladies. Oh Chim o!
DeleteTrue talk @anon. It depends on the kind of friends you keep as single girls. When I relocated to Lagos my married friend took me in before I got my footing. I stayed with them for like a year or so sef cos then the job I got was not so buoyant to rent a place. I did not abuse the hospitality. I helped out in the house as much as I could. Make food when she was busy. I could help her look after her little kid when she had to go to work and when the nanny failed to come cos my job then was a flexible one. I never abused the privilege. I never for one day looked at her husband like a potential target. It’s not fair and right and it can never be right. They took me in on trust and goodwill, why will I repair them with evil. I can never forget what they did for me though she doesn’t even see it that way sef.
DeleteTill date I can freely go to their place and they can come over to mine. So my dear it all depends on the kind of people you keep sha.
Yes you are right...
Delete@shyla,u are a friend,keep it up
DeleteHorseband thieves dey everywhere o
ReplyDeleteFAN make ye yarn them.
What I do now? Hun sic??
DeleteSome feel they have arrived
ReplyDeleteArrived where? Heaven? 😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteIt's because married friend of yours have priorities over luxurious assets. Some single friends seriously wish your marriage to fail. They always say people pretend in their marriage Bcos of envy.
DeleteIt's the same for men and women likewise. Trust , honesty and open communication is vital in single/married relationships.
Before i got married, i cut off all my friends.. Now married i dont feel comfortable bringing friends close to my man because i dont trust him... He can do it out but not with a friend that is very dangerous... I'm not a saint though but i dont cross boundaries 😯😯😯
ReplyDeleteBecause they were never friends! No true friends will cut their friendship off because of their new status.
ReplyDeleteIt could also be insecurities from the both parties....
Some are simply following instructions. Some men actually tells their wives to. And as a submissive wife that they are, they must oblige
ReplyDeleteBecause level don change
ReplyDeleteAfter una go say marriage nobi achievement. Oturugbeke!
DeleteI tell u. All because levels don change. Marriage is an achievement o una never hear?
DeleteWhen most of them think that getting married is the greatest achievement in life.They are not in the same level with you.as per,I AM NOW A MRS.In their mind,any female that is single is a potential husband snatcher.
ReplyDeleteIn my own case my friends never accepted my husband. Yes they pretend all the times but they believe that any decision I made that do not favour them is solely by my husband. They cut me off several times but I always make up and seek peace .Not any more. I am done with them
ReplyDeletei dont know
ReplyDeleteThey feel the single friends will come for their husbands. Some husbands too give their wife instructions about not mingling with their single friends anymore after the marriage.
ReplyDeleteApart from d husband snatching thing. most ladies that do this do it cos of pride too (e easy to marry?) .Also with d way our Nigerian society value marriage ehnn...so most ladies that gets married see it as a kind of social mobility and so therefore shuts d door against their friends. Most Nigerian ladies see marriage as an achievement o "lemme pepper them too. ..I don marry na"
ReplyDeleteMake una talk true o
ReplyDeleteApart from husband stealers..marriage na thing of pride for where Nigerian gals dey. "my this. ..my husband that " na so we dey talk am dey flash our wedding ring o chaii
For me it's not about husband snatching .
ReplyDeletesay I personally don't have enough time these days, and after one friend nearly incarcerated me for not calling etc, I just kept off from her and the rest. Don't have energy to be pacifying anybody right now. We will reconnect later by God's Grace. For now I need to channel my energy to my family pls
Lolll, but when you yeye married women start having issues, it is still your single friends that you will rush to, to bail you.
DeleteLet me see any morafoking married woman commit to ask me for money again.
Mtsheew.
Hahahahha,Annonymous has killed me oooo..Dont mind them jare.Awon Ruth AbokokuMaybe some people learnt in a very hard way though
DeleteThey obviously do that because they know what they did to other ladies husband
ReplyDeleteDey no want make there friends do unto them what they did to others
With d strange confessions I've read online, lol....let ur single trusted friends babysit if possible, cos ur husband is a pope, he he he he he
ReplyDeleteMe o when I got married I still maintained my single friends but noticed they still want me and them to still dey gyrate town as usual but I go refused that me I want to go home & cook for hubby.Then my best is made I comment that since I got married I jst changed..always rushing home & not spending time with them.so I jst stayed on my lane.
ReplyDeleteAnother reason was they were always asking me if hubby is buying this or that for me..Kai I was uncomfortable cos b4 I marry na me be their leader insin biggest babe with biggest "god". So when I marry I left some things.
some times just to be alone and avoid the story that touch. Some friends will alway fuel your marriage just to see it come to an end.
ReplyDeleteBecause they don't want husband snatcher and some girls are mean.
ReplyDeleteI can not come and be shouting
ReplyDeleteE he I talk am. FAN don dey yarn them.
DeleteNdi oshi amu -plenty amu robbers.
Abeg keep that ya bulala well o.
#Sometimes all you need to know is what NOT to do
ReplyDeletesometimes simply knowing what not to do, is all it takes to get to where you want*
I did not really cut off my single friends after marriage but motherhood did..... before I got pregnant I visit my single friends just the way I do when I was single but once is time to cook I will start going home. One day my friend came to my house that she wanted me to escort her to go check something, I told her babe why didn't u come early that is time for me to cook for my husband... Babe took offense o that since I got married is either I want to cook for my husband or am cleaning my house or am on my way to market,i jejely cut her off. the rest na motherhood cut them off coz I don't have time again but we do speak once in a blue moon
ReplyDeleteYou are wise
DeleteSome na to protect dia old story(lifestyle)I mean all the Arabanko she did b4 marriage )Bcos u don’t know who be who
ReplyDeleteSome Dey protect dia own,make another person no come snatch dia husband.and wrong advisers
Sometimes you drift apart , but not like you cut them off . Some gist won’t flow , like when you are asking about pregnancy ish, colour of poop, Bfeeding sleep etc you just tend to gravitate towards ppl with similar experiences Nothing to do with man . And if true friends you would still
ReplyDeleteFlow again
Many ladies are guilty of this. I believe they do this undeliberately(but it still hurts us so bad).…. First is the high of just getting married... "hussy" still dey shak dia head, sex anyhow, sexy new bride and groom... Then with family life ; babies, in-laws , church and co... But what is so painful is that before the wedding they act like your bestie, you spend money u scrape together to but over priced aso ebi bc u want God to do your own soon. U run errands that day, mc will embarrass u when they want to call out single ladies... "ABI YOU NO WAN MARRY?!!!" over the freaking mic." DON'T BE JEALOUS OO. ABI YOU DON'T WANT GOD TO DO YOUR OWN?!!" While wife and hubby snicker to themselves while cuddling one their stage.... Then after that day, to even call you to ask if you got home safe na lie... From there you don enta voice mail...
ReplyDeleteWell,the funny thing is some wimps who call themselves men also cut of their friends too.
DeleteI didn't cut any of my friend out,i tried to reach out and even visit but when they dont reciprocate and start giving attitude i just free them
ReplyDeletei didn't have lots of friends before marriage , just had 1 and shes still my friend.we have always been busy people so anytime we see we talk about all we've missed.
ReplyDelete