It can be a visa interview,A school interview, A job interview or a spouse interview...LOL (In a spouse interview,one of the family members sees you and is like ah my brother/sister must marry you and then the questions begin)
Tell us about it!!!
I have had a spouse interview before....
''Are you active?''
''What is your grade in school.we want intelligent kids oh''
''How many days is your ovulation..''
I didnt answer any sef.
This is gonna be an interesting read. I live here today.
ReplyDeleteI think I got a work interview some months back before I start working in my current company. The interviewer is such a nice man, though the work was based on recommendation for I didn't apply for the job but my big brother who is a friend to the company personnel manager did it unknowingly to me.
DeleteThat morning I was called to be in the company in less than 30mins or lose a prospective job. Wow..... I rushed and got there. The interview was just formality as I began working two days later.
You know think you got an interview? Sheesh. You people with your mouth watering jobs 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteYou meeting up in 30mins could be the interview
DeleteLol
Went for an ushering job interview with one of the big agencies of those days. Somewhere in ikeja. Dude is no longer that popular anymore. My friends and I were hopeful but only I got a call back. This evil man made me wait till 6pm before he finally called me into his office. His zipper was open with an erection. I just walked out as fast as I could. My friend got a call back and she eventually got the ushering job. She made about 150k that period from the jobs from him.
ReplyDeleteThe most painful one. Got a job as a receptionist during my service year. He was a govt official in Ogun state running his private practice. I got to work by 5am one Saturday to help him type something he claimed to need urgently and he raped me. As he was raping me he was laughing that how will a Lagos girl like me be a virgin. When I stopped coming to work he wrote a scathing report to our supervisor. I repeated nysc because of that evil man. Now he’s rolling with Amosun and I’ve cursed him that all he loves will die a tragic and shameful death. His only son has died and that is just the beginning of his torment here on earth.
Pele dear.but it seems your friend slept with the guy. This one wey he open Zip for you and she con get the job. World people.
DeleteExactly...her friend must have slept with the guy.
DeleteSorry about the rape...He will definitely pay for his evil deeds.
DeleteSorry dear. I have been in something similar before... Was almost raped in the office....just last week.... I was almost raped again...
DeleteI bought two knives yesterday... One will be in my bunch of keys and the slightly big one will have a permanent place in my bag.... I might likely cut off someone's penis before I get married.
He is rolling with Amosun
DeleteCall him out na .
Haaa..
*similar situation
DeletePlease buy pepper spray or shocker.always have it handy it doesn't kill but will buy you more escape time
DeleteYou can still call him out now. Let it go viral at least he would share in the shame small if not brought to justice
DeleteSee how a few minutes of pleasure destroyed the life of his only son. Who knows who is next in line to die? I wish men can learn that rape is very destructive. If you rape a woman and she cusses you in that pain and tears, no prophet can save you.
DeleteMy dear if he comes to beg you, forgive him and that should be after 3 people he loves must have died. Good for him.
Sister atheist, don't kill abeg. You can go to jail despite the fact that he attempted to rape you. Buy pepper spray and don't let anyone in your office to know you have it with you even your best friend in the office.
DeleteBut ive said it here... when some people die suddenly or suffer sudden mishap i only pity and move on. We dont know whose fruits they are reaping. Look at how his son died. Smh!! Useless man
DeleteNo experience.
ReplyDeleteI went for a bank interview in those days. The panel interview was headed by one handsone bloke. I made sure I f#cked him that same evening after the interview in one posh hotel. Ofcourse I got the job and we kept banging till he was transferred to another state. He made sure no one troubled me till I moved to another bank. He got me the contacts for the new and better bank job. This pussy of mine have really helped to reach up the ladder. Pheeeeww
DeleteMine was spouse interview.....
DeleteThe first that I met my father his questions include.....what is the result of 10 raise to power 10.and I answered sir....did I come for a maths interview?lol
Lucky you @ anon banker. lmao
Delete16:07, I envy you. It's only broke ass and useless men that I meet and fuck. I hear ladies say they used their tohtoh to get this and that I feel bad, my own is highest 10k. Even for jobs, they fucked me and don't give me the job. Did you put jazz in it or do ny kind of jazz to attract good men? Pls let me know whether it works well
DeleteHahahahaha @anon 18:12....don't do jazz...maybe ur pussycat is not tight enough
DeleteMine was interview in one acclaimed international school in Abuja. I just relocated from one of the northern states. So I was in dire need for a job. Based on my discipline, teaching job was what I could get easily. I submitted my cv and days later a school called me asking me to come by 8am. I got to the venue and met other applicants. We were by ourselves till 12pm nobody came to address us. I was forced to call the number that called me earlier and a lady picked asking us to be patient she's tied up somewhere. Well we waited till 3pm and someone came and led us to the chairman's office. He started by telling a lady who parked her hair in a bun to leave as she didn't make her hair. I said shuuu in my mind cos I was really admiring the hair. I had dreads on so I thought I was next but surprisingly he admired it. Next he asked for schools we attended and asked those from uni abuja to leave. After that he selected three of us to be screened. We were asked to return the next day for further interview. Eventually we ended up going for ten days when I complained I was told he was testing my patience. Some days he would pass us by the gate and we would be asked to salute him so that he will acknowledge us. It was a terrible time for me. At the end I got the job but later was asked to choose between my pregnancy or the job. I chose my baby as I had been trying for a baby for years. Today I have my daughter and have no regrets whatsoever!!!
ReplyDeleteThe part of choosing b/w one's pregnancy and a job is something I dislike about some Nigerian employers. So a woman shouldn't work to support her family because she's pregnant? Since she applied, it means she's capable of doing the job, allow her. It's unfair, honestly.
DeletePele, don't mind them jare.
Eayaaa
DeleteSalute him...hahahahhaha
DeleteThat was how I went for one Interview advertised tfor Product Merchandiser. I went to the company website to do my due diligence and was impressed Got to the interview venue(a hotel) and met a long que of applicants. I was seriously gingered. Didn't know the office was inside e the hotel. When it got to my turn, I was directed to one corridor cubicle. Saw only one desktop and 3 metal chairs. Jisox! Warris all dix? The so called MD was looking even more broke than I was. Interviewer.: Your CV tells you are very experienced, are you sure you can do this work? You will go to construction sites and building sites to market our products. We need you to go to rugged places, You may have to work in extreme weather conditio.... . Me: Thank you so much and have a nice day!
ReplyDeleteLmao at looking more broke
Delete55555555555555555555555555
Lol.. your last line is epic.
DeleteLmaooooo @thank you so much and have a nice day. 🤣🤣
DeleteSlay mama, that is how they coin fine names for marketing jobs o. You will hear, CRO(customer relations officer) , Client service officer, product merchandiser, Sales executive, sales officer, etc.
DeleteI have seen something in this Lagos. Some will write customer service officer and when you get there, you will discover it is marketing job.
Early this year, that was how one sent me a text for interview starting with 'Based on recommendation ..... I initially felt happy that someone recommended me for a job but that night, I Googled their address and found out it was GNLD people. It then occurred to me that they are the ones that usually send you an invite a day to 'interview'
😲 which one is how many days is your ovulation 😀 na wa
ReplyDeleteMine was a job interview and anytime I remember that interview, I laugh really hard at how unprofessional I was when I answered a particular question. The conversation goes thus:
ReplyDeleteInterviewer: Why are you leaving your present organisation?
Me: I'm leaving them because they are not serious with blah blah blah
Interviewer: Please, explain.
Me: The are ...
Even though I got the job but I laugh anytime I remember the scenario.
Incomplete gist...stop scratching our ears mbok.
DeleteHope you didn't say any bad thing about the former place, Like bad mouthing them, I heard it can disqualify one
DeleteSpousal interview:
ReplyDeleteAre you a virgin?
Can you cook?
Can you pamper me( MIL) because I want a wife that can pamper me
She needs a Nanny
DeleteMine was not an interview, in fact i got the job and we were to have a one week induction. The first day went smoothly, on the second i was delayed in traffic and got to the venue a few minutes late, when i got there i saw some of my would be colleagues sitting outside, they wouldn't let them sign the attendance because they were late. The job has something to do with punctuality.
ReplyDeleteI joined them as we await our fate, after a while, our hrm came out and gave us two options to enter. 1 we will have to crack a joke that will make everyone in the hall laugh or 2 sing and dance to the song of your choice. Who will go first? no one said anything, he repeated and in my mind i was like, what will be the worst thing, so i raised my hand, i opted to sing and dance.
Long story short, by the time i was halfway into my performance, they were begging me to go and sit down, fo wia i told them I'll finish my song oh in fact no one performed after me, they just allowed everybody in.
My supervisor later told me that that song will forever remind her of me, i was like good that was the idea.
years after i needed some information, and i called someone who gave the number of another in a diff branch, i was still trying to introduce myself when she cut me short with i know who you are the girl that sang and danced at our induction, and i don't even know her.
Is this company at lekki
DeleteI know one company like that o
You are a girl?😱😱
DeleteHahahahahaha
DeleteLol
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😃😃😃
DeleteNon yet
ReplyDeletehilarious Job interview
ReplyDelete1. Tell us the name of your perfume .
2. When can you say a person is born again.
3. Tell us how many people you met down stairs from the security post to the reception and how you interracted with them.
I answered the questions but I forgot the name of the perfume because I never expected that 😀😂😁😀😀 at the end I got the job.
Funny
DeleteMy boss asked that I sit in on interviews with candidates, as I would be able to ask technical questions....one of the applicants put Jesus Christ as a reference. I was curious so i asked him "How would we contact your reference..." since the applicant didnt put any contact info for Jesus and Everyone was was intrested on how he will answer.the applicant told me "Like this" and then he started praying or trying to by clasping his hands together. No kidding!....we are all mad in this country.
ReplyDelete😂😁😀😂
DeleteLmao.
DeleteThat applicant no pure .
Lol
lols...
DeleteHahahahaha
Delete😃😀😀😀😀😀😃😃😃😃
DeleteYou that even asked how you can contact Jesus is worse😃😀😀😀😀 I bet you had a straight look on your face.
I kent stop laughing😃😃😃😃😀
Hahahahahahahahaha
DeleteLmao...
DeleteIphie i asked with an entirely straight face....Ehee i had to be sure...
Na recession cause am 🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSpouse interview
ReplyDeleteMan : how long can you last on bed
Me: did the person introduce me to you as a porn star??
😂😂😂🤣😂😂😂 Nne iri woski 😄
DeleteVery funny topic, as some are so Hilarious. Ironically, i have a job interview tomorrow and this thread sort of calmed me down. Hopefully, mine turns out a bit relaxed and i get the job at the end. God help me tomorrow.
ReplyDeletePls eat before leaving home. If possible make hot eba and eat. You can arrange the soup down this night. That is what I do now. Sometimes I boil rice and keep, in the morning, I warm it and eat before leaving home. Don't go and faint like I did two years ago.
Delete@Meena you funny.
DeleteThe interview I'd never forget went thus:
ReplyDeleteCEO: Do you intend to get married within the next 5 years?
Me: Yes, I do. I plan to build a family soon.
CEO: Can you sign a contract to not get married form now to 5years?
Me: *Blank face*
CEO: Can you work later than your close time?
Me: Yes, I can. I pride myself as one who is bla bla bla
To cut a long story short, I got the job, but brothers and sisters, I didn't know what I was signing up for. I didnt know 'later than your close time' means I'd work from morning till night. I know I'm a strong person, but please stop using me and manipulating me. Yes, I'm ranting now. Its tiring and I'm sick of it.
I work from 7am till sometimes 11-11:30pm. I just resumed regular commenting because I'm gradually losing my mind.
Kpele, you are working for your money.
DeleteJesus...what kind of work is that
DeleteI have an unforgettable interview story to share that is why I suggested this topic to you Stella.
ReplyDeleteIt was two years ago. One construction firm had advertised for two Admin. Executives and one Front Desk officer. A friend sent me the link and I applied.
The interview was fixed for Thursday by 8:am. I woke up before 5am, left home by 5:30, got there around 7:am and to my surprise I met almost 20 other people, wrote my name and time in one book placed at the gate. Mind you, I did not eat from home, I just took little tea. Here in Lagos on Thursdays, shops including foodsellers don't open till 10:am because of sanitation which is for only shops and markets. I concluded I would eat after the interview. In my calculation, I was number 18 on the list, if they start by at most 9:am, before 1:pm, It would be my turn and I would be through.
By 8:30am, they closed the gate, we were above 50 people. On top how many positions?
There was no single chair, we all hanged around, I sat on the pavement beside the security house, some took to standing. 10 :30am, sun had started showing us pepper, interview had not started o and hunger had started showing me signs. We didn't see where to hide from the sun, some of us used our brown envelopes and folders to cover our heads. I went towards the gate to see if I can get outside and buy snacks to hold belle, the security man said according to instructions no going out or coming in and I will be disqualified. Ok na.
11:am, no show yet. The staff were just moving around inside . I said 'God pls don't let me die here today'. A lady who said she has ulcer and only took custard before leaving left the premises in anger when the security man was giving her the 'no movement' order. Then around 12, one woman came and called the first 5 people inside. Few minutes to 1:pm, another 5 were called in. By now hunger-induced headache was banging on my brain cells. My eyes had become thin. People were just murmuring, hunger did not allow me to talk, I was just looking. Hot sun, heat plus hunger, oh Jesus.
Around 2:pm another 5 went in. That was 15 people, I was no 18.
By now my my tummy was singing, headache trippled. I didn't check the time that they called my set because as I stood up I just collapsed, I lost consciousness.
When I woke up, all my clothes were wet, they had poured plenty water on me. They brought Peak milk, malt etc and I was just drinking and eating everything lols. They didn't even interview me again, they just collected my CV and asked me to go, I started crying, they told me to just go and rest that they will call me.
My fellow bvs, I'm still waiting for their call till today.
Your write up got me lol.
DeleteLmao😂😂 Thank God you didn't die there. This Lagos hustle is real.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteEhhya...
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete"I'm still waiting for their call till today" be patient it ll come 😂😂😂
DeleteMy Ex used to fill out job applications for me online and also checked my mailbox frequently for interview schedule.On this day he told me that i had two interviews in Lagos and thats how i zoomed off to Lagos.After the interviews,I loosened my hair which i had carried through the Christmas& year celebrations.I intended leaving the next day and he called to say i had another interview scheduled on the day of my return.
ReplyDeleteWow!!! Panic mode set in because my hair was very due and no time to retouch it becos he called at night.To worsen matters i came with just two coporate wears for the past interviews which was sweaty.
So my friend fixed me up and i set out for the interview in a low mood being that i wasnt feeling myself at all especially my hair which makes me look sick if not relaxed.I got to the venue later than the scheduled time as jjc wey no know road.
When i entered the compound my heart jumped into my stomach as i saw the crowd outside.Everyone was decked up in suit na just me wear business casual come.As i was signing the attendance register i noticed that my course was different from everyones and not related to the position at all.
My heart started pounding,because all the interviews i have attended prior to that was just one on one thing or heighest i meet five people that are waiting to be interviewd not hundreds as in this case.
I stood outside with some people and by 3pm i hadn't been called.I was tired of standing and hungry too but didnt want to leave so i decided to go stand in the reception at least AC will be touching me.
While there, a coordinator came downstairs and said to the receptionist "we will interview only this ones here,send the ones outside home and tell them their interview will be rescheduled".Choi!
We went upstairs to another reception area and took turns to enter the interview room.I noticed that everyone that went in came out almost immediately excluding one girl who was with them for almost 20mins and we could hear her laugh.After she came out nobody wanted to go in again cos we felt theyve picked her already.So i said to my self i cant come this far and run away so i walked into the room and behold 6 interviewers, Jesu!!!! My legs started shaking at the door.
The first word i heard from one of them was "Do you model"? I looked back thinking someone was behind me and he said "I'm talking to you".By this time my whole body was shaking.I sat down sideways and was visibly shivering and to their amazement they asked me to calm down and explain why i was shaking.I told them that i have never been interviewed by a panel of 6 before and they smiled and asked me "my name, school,course and if i had experience in sales" of which "I said no" and one of them said "she can be trained".
The next thing i heard was " put her name down" "we will call her in two days time".In my mind i was like "yinmu" "discharging tactics" who will call someone tattered like this with all the slayonces i saw.Abegi!! I packed my bag and left the next day to Warri.
The day after i got a call,
"Hello .how are you? I am so and so from XYZ company are you in town.
me :No,I'm in Warri and dont know when i will be back to Lag".
HIM: Did you come for the interview from outside lagos and i lied and said "no that i just went for a wedding in the East."(I always use my friends Lagos address in my CV even though i wasnt based in Lagos then).The call ended.
After some days,I realised that the guy never said the reason for calling and i called back and he said "Well, we called to offer you the job but seems you are not ready" chai, na so my village people rejoice over me.
I gathered that the start off pay was 80k and 120k on confirmation.This was in 2009.
Talking about not being ready for opportunity.
Kudos to you if you read this, me wey type am know say e too long.Let me try and reduce gbagaun for your reading pleasure.
Was quite interesting to read..
DeleteI went for one and was asked what my former boss paid us, I said 50k and the man said maybe that was why we folded up, because we were paid way too much. Shoooo,the economy was bad.
ReplyDeleteDidn't get it but I was pissed that he would think 50k made us lose our jobs.
Try zero 5
ReplyDelete