STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SHATTERED
Hi Stella,
I ENJOY READING YOUR BLOG A LOT ESP LRD AND OMUGWO CHRONICLES
Please I want to remain anonymous,
I am a young (25) beautiful, determined and outgoing person.
I have a good job that’s pays me well over 2 6figures
Here my problem I have had 3 relationships of which the last one just ended recently.
I have always had this independent mindset where I don’t request for anything from my boyfriends which has practically made me foolish and blinded all in the name of love.
My first boyfriend I dated for a year I never requested for anything and he never gave anything I cant remember anything other than when we go out he pays for food that doesn’t pass 3k. lol
My second boyfriend in the university wasn’t from a rich background but I wasn’t either my allowance was just 15k a month but I spent all through on him loved him never cheated and yet he still cheated with other girls. I had to take a stand and break up with him realising that I was a fool all along for three years. My friends laughed at me. Called me mumu in love. (He was a medical student)
During the course of my 2nd relationship I met my 3rd boyfriend(A pharmacist) who didn’t allow me rest but I decided to take a one year break from boys and just be on my own.
Now I finally agreed in my finally year and despite the spoken words of love I never saw any form of affection financially (I vowed I wasn’t going to be fooled by spoken words any more) FYI I refused to have s#x with him all this while for about two years and 8 months because I felt I have had enough from my previous relationship and wanted to make it work. All this while I complained about financial support yet I kept getting excuses upon excuse I was patient because I felt he was with me and I dint see any sign of cheating.
I snooped occasionally. Fast forward to Easter we travelled together and I decided to do the do everything was great and happy. Immediately I got back I was really busy and all after 4 days he sent me a break up message saying I don’t care about him and don’t care about calling him bla bla (flimsy excuse), I just laughed and said maybe he was drunk called no response so I gave him two days, He Called again and we started talking normal but I noticed I was doing most of the calling so I stopped 4 days no call sent a text to get an explanation and I got another breakup message saying he is depressed and needs a break.
I Am shattered, angry, stupid for letting him have me after waiting for so long to get dumped I am sad and its beginning to tell on me.
Is there something am doing wrong? I have people drooling over me (married men) young guys as well.
Why do I keep falling for the wrong guys huh
I can’t bear been heartbroken again.
I need your advice.
would be expecting your reply and would be glad if my story is published on your blog thanks
I Am shattered, angry, stupid for letting him have me after waiting for so long to get dumped I am sad and its beginning to tell on me.
Is there something am doing wrong? I have people drooling over me (married men) young guys as well.
Why do I keep falling for the wrong guys huh
I can’t bear been heartbroken again.
I need your advice.
would be expecting your reply and would be glad if my story is published on your blog thanks
God will take perfect control of everything
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
You seems desperate about every man you date must marry you, why not go into relationship eith a free mind and still upholding your principles.
DeleteGirls that doesn't ask their partners money usually baffle me sha o...since i was single till i got married if u don't spend money on me u dont love me and i can't get wet for you lai lai
DeleteAnon 15:31 🤣
DeleteThank you very much!
Same with me...hahaha
Guy man has gotten what he wants ooo, pele dear may your own man Locate you...
DeleteMadam you earn 2 million, are you a senator? Lie lie lie
Delete@annon 15.31.
DeleteGbam!
God bless you for that comment
You confidently wet for man wey no dey Giv u shi shi.. How na ?
So sad.
DeleteAsk Linda (QUEEN AND BOSS) to teach you my dear. If say you don knack pigeon for him head now,una two for still dey together.
I will advise you not to have sex with a man cos he wants it, or probably because he has waited for long. Have sex because it is what you want, he satisfied your conji.
Don't be shattered maka amu nne. There are so many amus around ask Stella or Linda.
This will continue to be the stoy of girls in generations to come if we dont stope feeling like a prey all the time and act the predator some times. We should learn to detach this sentiment we attache to sex and beat the men in their own game. You too chop them clean mouth!
DeleteI have always told you that men were created to be providers once that process changes wahala always enteres. Stop forming miss independent o stop
DeleteI'm confused you earn '2/6 figures, you started dating him in final year, after a while you both made it official, but he dumps you after sex? He wasn't that into you in the first place, btw you seem so bothered about financial love, I mean you earn well n claim to be independent so what really is the problem? Maybe you need another break to figure out what you really want n to be able to discern who really wants you and not just for selfish gains.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you
DeleteMoney Money talk just full the chronicle, ah ah.... is that the no 1 criteria in a relationship? Nothing about how compatible you both are or your strenght in the lord, youre matching how much you earn with theirs, na you sabi...
DeleteHehehe.Now I know why they say a man that wants to dump u would do soo no matter how long it took you to give him the cookie
ReplyDeleteSimple.
DeleteThe guy was just patient enof to hit n run.
cookie de extend life?
DeleteOnce dem chop puna dey fly away like vultures
DeletePoster I understand you jare. Why you are worried is that there is a repeating cycle. Which means YOU are the one to change your approach. When you see the signs of a stingo, drop him like he's hot. Why you wan waste time for there? Then stop forming independent. Queen & boss don talk this one tey tey.
DeletePoster, you really need to get your priorities right. What exactly do you want from a relationship? When you are in a relationship, do you act all 'MISS INDEPENDENT'? How do you treat people around you?
ReplyDeleteA 25yr old that should be living the time of her life is there feeling horrible that she had sex and he broke up.
DeleteSee; you slept with him too. Whats the big deal. You girls just keep giving men reason to play on ur weakness. And who says having safe sex is a girls loss? YOU! And now you are brooding that u cant love again. Snap out of it girl and go fuck another guy asap and get ur groove going. SEX is nothing to men and so should a woman see it too.
Show him sex dont mean shit so he swallows his triumph.
Grow up and go HAVE FUN.
I like you already looooooool (That Isoko Babe)
DeleteActing Ms. Independent in relationships/marriages doesn't usually help.
ReplyDeleteCheck urself you may be the proud bossy type, African men can't cope with that, they usually feel threatened.
That guy that waited 2yrs and some months just to f**ck u got me ROTFL😂😂, patient motherfucker 😩😩
As in ehh!!😂😂😂😂😂.. 2 years and months.. I'm so expelling the one waiting all this while too before he chop and clean mouth.
Deletewho wouldnt be patient? Afterall shes not demanding, and he gets pussy outside codedly... so that food for fire must surely done, even if na elephant meat! Guy man chop clean mouth!
Delete@Anon 16:22 girls too have started chopping and cleaning mouth o. Once you stop feeling like you are a prey to be eaten all the time and act the predator, you beat them at their own game.
DeleteMy hairstylist was gisting us(me and another client) how she slept with a guy and cleaned her mouth and she stopped picking his calls but funny enough he caught feelings.
DeleteHe called her with another line and she told him she was horny and needed to get off hence the reason she slept with him, that she wasn't looking for something serious at the moment but the thing was she just had a breakup but was missing sex so she needed to get the dream off.
I really laughed that day because I didn't know women use men too.
Sorry *Steam off* autocorrect
Delete2. Madam, 2 six figures is like 2million..just so you know.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I don't understand this insistence on / judging of relationships based on financial spendings. Every chronicle here must have a financial statement of how much he spends on this and that.. abi, have y'all turned accountants without firm. Shows how shallow women are these days.
If you were in love and you spent out of love, then that's that. It doesn't make anyone foolish or stupid.
@ madam chronicle... You dated in school, where hormones are still raging and discipline still being developed, it isn't an exclusive thing. Some can, others can't, but it's stupid to expect too much from a young undergraduate (m/f) that's not even in the finals.
The relationship that could've been, you went to use your 🐈 as a bargaining chip for 3 years...who does that?
You made it a prize, he's attained the prize, found it wanting, and bounced..you have no one to blame.
Don't know when you'll all learn.
you earn up to 26figures.
ReplyDeleteyour monthly allowance is 15k.
you dated 3 undergraduates.
you had sex, e sweet you e sweet them...
so what is your pain?
does it mean sex is the only thing you can offer a man or with your 26figures and 15k monthly allawee you are expecting a student to pay your bills?
biko arrange your chronicle like a 25 year old "beautiful" self made lady for me to understand so that i can advise you.
Hahahahahahahahahahahagahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...your last paragraph though
DeleteKai! Chike 🤣🤣
DeleteKai! Chike 🤣🤣
DeleteLmao ..
DeleteThis chike sef . haaaaahaha
I'm dead lol @ 26 figures 😂😂😂
Delete👍👍🏿👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Delete'I mean you earn well and claim to be independent so what really is the problem?
ReplyDeleteNnem, ATTITUDE is the problem. you can decode that from the chronicle naa.
Babe fix your attitude first, quit with the independent, tittle (doctor, pharmacist) and money matter thing, just maybe things will fall in pleasant places for you.
He waited patiently for sex and he got it. Please free hi!!!!
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha
DeleteYou haven't found true love yet. I think you need to be patient and focus more on your career and other things that interest you.Its true if a man loves you, he would be willing to give to you. Sex should not be given in return for money. You have it all mixed up. Men will do anything to get between your legs. You shouldn't have agreed to sleep with him. For him to break up with you means he wasn't really into you. He's got what he wanted. That's the end of story for him. You are NOT meeting the right type of men and I think you are putting yourself under too much pressure though. Relax and be free for a while. Sex should be the last thing you concede to in a relationship whilst looking out for how much he spends on you should also be the last thing on your own mind when you are into a relationship. Men are wary of girls who start asking for financial favors in a relationship. It makes them feel such a girl is just mercenary. That's why they make up their minds to have sex with such girls and be on their merry way. Which is what happened to you in your relationship. If you are earning well, you don't need to be collecting money from a guy. And you don't have to spend on a guy to prove your love. Money is not equal to love. Sex is not equal to love. For now, give yourself a break. There's a lot of fun in life apart from having a boyfriend.!!
ReplyDeleteMen these days dont really spend on girls because ladies are now advocating for gender equality.
ReplyDeleteNot true, my boyfriend now fiance spends and even bought properties in my name and I didn't even sleep with him.
DeleteThough he has proposed now and we are getting married this December.
If A guy doesn't spend on you he simply doesn't love you.
Eh yah! Pele. Tkink u need Christ, with Him all things are possible.
ReplyDeleteO si gini?
ReplyDeletePoster take it easy on yourself, just stay calm and leave relationship for now, have a break and clear your head. Don't be too bothered about marriage so as not to look like you are desperate thereby letting all the men take advantage of you. God help you
ReplyDeletelike seriously your earning is in 2figures and your write-up is like this hmm are you for real? Small girl chronicles,u better go and face your career and stop looking for a man that will be giving you money. Didn't even see see Stella's red pen meaning your chronicle tire Stella self.
ReplyDeleteCan’t you even pretend not to have anything and test guys?????
ReplyDeleteOshe tester...they will still f*ck her blue black and dump her testing kit if she doesn't change her attitude. Have u been with a guy from my city?
DeleteWorse!!!
DeleteHmmm... i carry yansh for d guy o. The patient dog eats d fattest bone. So the guy waited for two years and broke up with you after "doing the do" Sorry ehn. it's well. Maybe he had a bet with his friends that he must "do the do" Don't you think so? Bdw, you sound too desperate like you can't survive without having a bf. I think you need to check yourself first. maybe there is something you're not doing right that is chasing them away. They don't see you as a wife material. they only want d cookie. Stop acting too desperate. you need to calm down and d perfect man will come. pls don't forget to attend shiloh this year. bye
ReplyDeleteI like to read "1st world problem" chronicles like this. She has a source of livelihood and still under 30. You have no problem actually. Avoid unplanned pregnancies and gold digging men. Try your best to find a man with a similar income level. A professional preferably. A woman can have it all if she's in the right circle, just stay away from negative people.
ReplyDeletewow so true, Great advice
DeleteI agree 100%
DeleteThe day you understand that you also love the sex n enjoy it will be the last day you will think a man use and dump you. If you earn that much I don't see any reason you shud have ur eyes on a man's pocket. Nigeria girls feel a relationship is a business idea that should produce money. Your are young n have a good job while not be spontaneous with life while you fine real love. Men don't like girls who are cold and too calculative
ReplyDeleteYou came back from your travelling after doing the do and you guys stayed for a whole 4days and didn't talk to each other. He didn't call n you never called. How can two lovers stays for a whole for days and claim busy to call. I think you are not telling us the whole story you are just trying to make the story favourable on your part. I know being faithful, Good girl, honest n sincere doesn't keep a man. Yes it doesn't. Give your self time ask them where it all went wrong, your weak point n other things, then work on those things in your next relationship n pray before trying again. Tell God to take away time wasters.
ReplyDeleteBeing faithful, Good girl, honest n sincere does keep a man, a real man, not boys in a big man body.
DeleteHmmmmmmm reading comments
ReplyDeleteHmmm am joining you to read comments too
DeleteArrange this your chronicle so those that want to advise you will see road and advise, you hear? Sorry about the heartbreaks
ReplyDeleteSure say your pussy no dey smell... Guys hate smelling pussy
ReplyDeleteWhat you are doing wrong is giving in to sex with these boys.
ReplyDeleteIf you want an enduing relationship that will lead to marriage
do not have sex . . . you will earn the man's respect and trust.
Yes, I am really surprised that most people neglect this primary cause of pain for this girl. How can you be giving men you vagina and expect marriage? No, they will keep collecting the sex and that's all. Desist.
DeleteTwo people have consensual sex, then one person comes out and cries that they were used. How?
ReplyDeleteYou both had sex..and enjoyed it. Please.
Dear lady, you need to focus on yourself, your job or whatever makes you happy.
Your happiness doesn't lie with any man.
Quit being desperate to be in love/relationship because you'd keep falling for the wrong guy.
When you free yourself, love will show up when you aren't even looking.
In 2018 you are dating a guy and not asking him for money . lol
ReplyDeleteI want to be like you when i grow up NNE.
Me , even if I Dont need the money I will still ask..
Since you Dont know how to ask men for money , the small girls with big God knows how to ask your men for money .and Dont be fooled your men dey give them .
If youre not emotionally mature enough to handle relationships, then you aren't. Simple.
ReplyDeleteSeems like you cant even discern who is for you or against you, you dont even know the kind of restaurants to take guys you date to and you are complaining that they pay 3k for food. So why follow them to the 3k restaurant na?? Cant you set standards for yourself as a woman? Be the kind of woman that the 3k food guy will meet and know that you are not the 3k food type. E dey your hand.
Have carriage (note that it is different from pride) and focus on yourself.
Let the real guy fight for your attention. No call for 4 days, and he is expecting me to call - is he mad??!! That alone is zero boyfriend material. As a natural protector, a man should be concerned about your welfare. Please go and buy relationship books, and educate yourself on what to lookout for in an ideal man, not about running helter skelter asking questions.
And which one is 2 six figures? 2 million and above?? If not then you're wrong on that.
SIX FIGURES IS 100,000 A MILLION IS 1,000,000
Delete6 figures isn't a million naira for those who are not sure. A million naira salary is 7 figures. 6 figures is within 100k to 900k.
ReplyDelete1000000= 7 figures
100000= 6 figures
Poster, I don't understand your chronicle so no advice from me
Hahahahaha.
DeleteYou don't have any problem. If your chest region hurts, get good ice cream and baileys, watch a sad movie, bawl your eyes out for as long as it takes for the knot to loosen. Break up is a natural phenonom in the 21st century dating scene.
ReplyDeleteAnd stop using your pussy as a trump card, it will only lead to scenarios like this or worse.
Bye.
My own na the English, the thin
ReplyDeleteg dey pain for eye and ear,a whole graduate
No offense but when did this "money makes me wet" thing start in Naija? It must be that the economic decline coincided with moral decline. I'm going to 50 now and was in college at 15. You can do the math. I remember my parents used to tell us girls not to accept gifts, talk less of money from guys. That way you don't invite curses in case you don't marry him. What happened our young girls. My husband and I met at work and he never bought me anything but Sharwarma and then New Yorker milkshake when it was new in the early 90s. Me and my friends used to say it was better if our kids married from Nigeria but it seems the morals of college kids here are better. They won't sleep with you for money. They may do it for fun or love but rarely for money. What happened to our girls? Men don't respect mercenaries. The proverbs 31 woman was very enterprising. Sex and money don't equal love. I guess our role models are different from the new role models. Our parents, people like Prof Bolanle Awe, Buchi Emecheta etc. I only had about 3 pairs of shoes in my freshman year and graduated without sleeping with anyone with the best result in my set. Please don't abuse me, but cross your legs. Now I can have any shoes I want and my husband respects me because I know the history of everything in our house. I bought them. I sometimes read chronicles and the recurring theme is that the man must give the girl or his family money.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong, my husband and his family bought me suitcases and everything on the list when we did engagement the day before our church wedding but he didn't pay my bills or buy me clothes and we were in love. Work with your hands that which is good according to the Bible, have high standards, don't look at the pics on instagram as correct or true depictions of these heavily photoshopped "stars", be content with what you have and serve God and be kind and I promise you by God you will one day be able to afford whatever you want.
This comment is exactly my thoughts. I am 24 I have never and will never feel entitled to a man’s money. And I ended up marrying a man that would spend his last penny just to see me happy.
DeleteA man should spend on you yes but you are not entitled to his money. In terms of finance you should be more concerned to know if he will be able to take care of his fatherly duties in the future and whats at home not him spending on you
Ladies stop seeing having sex with a man as a reward for spending on you. If you want to have sex do it because you want to not because you expect anything in return! Go into relationships open minded
I don't know you, but much love from me to you. sex is just overrated, its even possible that the dud found out she was just wack in the sex stuff, and all he said to himself, is all this while is this what she has been protecting, "biko no need". ladies no longer go into relationship free minded. I don tire..
DeleteIf you want to get a revenge on that guy, call him up, tell him you can't live without him so you just want to be friends. He will give you attitude but just chill and play along. When he finally comes around, give him sex, give him money, make him feel like he is the best thing since sliced bread and just like that, for no apparent reason, dump him. Don't make it formal, just stop taking his calls. It is only then that you ll feel peace and the pain will ease off. That is exactly how I got rid of my own pain.
ReplyDeletechai some people here are so judemental, for her to come here she needs opinion and not a judge.To the madam there is really no law/rule guiding this things just let it flow. some have sex on the first date and yet still get married. there is nothing wrong with been independent if he loves u no matter how independent u are he will still spend on u. u just haven't found the right guy yet. Give ur self a break, have fun, go out stop been rigid.
ReplyDelete