THE LAUNDRY
Good day Stella, please I need the opinion of bvs on this issue.
Must a wife or girlfriend do the husband's laundry?
I grew up in a house where my dad did his own laundry even when my
brothers where old enough to do it for him, he still continued. My
brothers are married and do their laundry themselves. I can do other
chores in the home but don't like washing other peoples clothes but
now my boyfriend is insisting that I MUST do his laundry.
He says it is my responsibility to do all domestic work including wash his clothes.
I have told him to get a washing machine and I would gladly do the
laundry but he says if I want one I should pay for it myself.
I have told him to get a washing machine and I would gladly do the
laundry but he says if I want one I should pay for it myself.
He said he can't marry a woman that won't wash his clothes.
So I ask Must a wife do the husband's laundry, is it a criteria for
knowing a good wife?
*Please dont marry or date a man with this kind of mentality...is he Marrying a slave?Desperation should not make any woman or anyone settle for less...WTF......
This Laundry includes his underwear?OMG!!!!
Some women do not mind doing this,its what they signed up for but some mind....I will send your stuff to the dry cleaner but i will not wash....Different strokes for different folks.
Hid mentality is wack!
ReplyDelete"Hid?"
DeleteAs in past tense of hide?
Okay, make we know wetin you dey hide?
She must have meant his
DeleteWhen my boyfriend (now husband) told me he was returning from the UK and asked if I'd cook and clean on his arrival, I said (Hell NO). He then said "many women are even ready to pound yam for their bfs" I outrightly told him to go and find those women. Now we are married and we both do the laundry. Sometimes I do it and sometimes he does it for both of us without being asked. (We have a washing machine I made sure we purchased after the wedding). Don't act like a wife while occupying the girlfriend shoes.
DeleteThis is totally unacceptable! I don't personally expect a lady to do my laundry. But some men, like the poster's boyfriend sadly use that as a criteria to determine whether a lady is a wife material or not. People should always check the mentality of those they're in love with, if it's below what they'd accept, then they should take a walk.
DeleteBoyfriend chronicle???? *Wakaring and passing*
DeleteBF for that matter... Lol. well, just thank God that you now know his stand on the subject matter, so take a walk now.
DeleteSuch a man might subject you to more bizarre things when you get married to him.
It’s not a crime o, but I cannot wash a mans cloth with my hands, I can even manage kids clothes but never a mans clothe, that’s me anyways if you can fine, if not never marry what you cannot take
DeleteWhy will you do boyfriends laundry for him? Pls take to the cleaners jor. Even me way don marry me to load clothes for machine hubby spreads and kids pack. We have an ironing man that comes to iron 2x a week.
DeleteYou want to die before your time or age? This one will clearly not help you with anything in the house if you get married oh? Think about it!
DeleteLet him go if he wants to but stand your ground that you cannot manually wash his clothes. Don't do it, I am married before you think it is a single person advising you.
Don't start what you can't finish!!
He stupidly said is your responsibility to wash his clothes he must be Mad...boyfriend not husband ooo na waoo if he Eventually married you my dear you gonna be his slave...lazy brokeAss fuck boy..
DeleteBIN MARRIED 2 HIM SHLDN'T MK U A MAID!!!
DeleteLadies... What are you doing washing boyfriend's clothes? And some would not watch their parents clothes and be washing boyfriend's clothes. Mshwwww.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it isn't bad to wash your husband's clothes. Its actually your responsibility. Since you can't wash, buy a washing machine only when you are in your husband's house abeg.
Ladies, please know your worth.
I wash my.hubbys clothes. He has never asked not forced me. I do it coz I love doing it plus has sooo busy he and have time for it. He use to take it to the dry cleaners b4 he married me and after we got married. But I asked him to. Plus we have washing machine to help me so it. But honestly evn without the machine I'll still do it coz I jus love doing it.but I don't think I like the idea of a man forcn it on a woman. It and be a favour we're doing them not a right...
DeleteYeah you can do if you want to....The forcing doesnt make sense
DeleteIt is NOT her responsibility to wash his clothes. It is HIS responsibility to ensure he has clean clothes. The people that they have responsible for are their children (when they have them)
DeleteShe's sounding desperate. A man is treating you this way and you are still there forming GF. I wonder why some ladies stay in a drama filled relationship when they can't stand the drama.
DeleteIf as girlfriend you don dey supply tohtoh, you have to complete the supply na:
ReplyDeleteSupply;
maid,
cook,
cleaner
gardener
fixer
Baby killer/burier
etc.
You just have to keep on. No be you waka with your two legs to go live for im house?
wetin you dey do there; you no wan wait for ya bride price to be paid.
You degraded yourself, so he is helping you finish the work
and next thing na dump!
It is called feminine brain failure
DeleteDon't judge like that. The kind advice you offer have the power to change lives than criticism. You'd agree with me that you too isn't perfect in one way or the other.
Deletewhat nonsense!!! so you have the guts to ask this kind of mumu question. he has not even married you yet and he is treating you like this? kpele o. so after doing his laundry, you will still warm his bed and cook for him abi? chai... how much is washing machine hat he cannot afford? he can get a small washing machine for 35-40k. I can't deal mehn... you better use your tongue to count your teeth o.
ReplyDeleteThe question tire me sef ooooo
DeleteⓂc pinky
@modella, you said exactly what is on my mind. poster, just use your tongue to count your teeth and advise yourself very well. i learnt the hard way not to advise relationship ppl cos they will do the opposite of what you tell them so madam poster biko advise yourself
DeleteBoyfriend you say. You don't owe him that. Who will wash your own?
DeleteAre you a machine?
If you decide to do that for him it's smth you do willingly, that's if you wish. Not him making it your duty.
Abeg wake up already.
What works for A might not for B.
ReplyDeleteWhat I dont like is the way he put it. Sounds like he enjoys seeing you stressed, seeing as he doesn't want to buy the washing machine out of his pocket.
What happens when motherhood sets in?
How would you cope with all the laundry and chores. He's an inconsiderate man. I can't deal.
He shld do his laundry him self,or does he help u do urs?by d way is he armless? ??
ReplyDeleteLol @ armless. I don't have anything against doing HUBBY'S laundry but the aspect I hate is him forcing you to do it .SMH at him. I will not advise you to marry such man, their type see women as slaves and they are too domineering. If you want to do his laundry, let it b out of choice not being compelled to do so.. Hmmmm
DeletePoster you are not a slave and he hasn't married you yet, what if he married you officially? He will then turn you to original slave queen.
ReplyDeleteAbeg Waka commot for such relationship.
Dear Poster, you are not obliged in any way to do your boyfriends laundry
ReplyDeleteI am not even angry that he he is asking you to do his laundry
I am more surprised that he has refused to buy a washing machine (if he can afford it)
Be wary of such men
They will expect you to cook fresh meals 3 times a day
They will reject food stored in the freezer
You will pound yam and skin beans manually
He wont let you drive
He has an archaic mentality
So if your responsibility as a girl friend is to do all the housework, what then is his responsibility to you as a boyfriend?
Nothing wey person no go see
These girls will not hear
ReplyDeleteWait for the man to come to your father's house and pay bride price.
Mbanu, you will pack and go and live in his house.
This is it. You are a willing slave.
Tell him to go & marry a Dry Cleaner...
ReplyDeletelol😁😀😁😀
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Deletenawa
ReplyDeletePlease read carefully...
ReplyDeleteIts not a must you marry that guy..receive sense before sense receive you..though washing his clothes is not bad but it should be willingly and not compeling you to do so.
I do the laundry myself, wash my plates, cook myself..thats me, , is been part of me, by the time am married, she will only have to face the kitchen wahala while i assist her to prepare our meal provided she is been held outside by gridlock.
I dont like dirty and lazy ladies but that doesn't allow me to tell her to do the laundry, , i wash again if you try to help me wash my shirt cuz my instinct will always tell me(Bisi, , dat shirt no clean).
That is it
Also, , he is ur boyfriend and not ur husband for God sake, both of you should grow up abeg, several ladies has washed his dirty clothes and didnt end up marrying him, there you are again..mitchew..
Ⓜc pinky
Na this leg nama go carry go matrimony?
ReplyDeleteUna still dey "fork friend level"
sad.
if he cannot marry a woman that won't wash his clothes, tell him you cannot marry a man that can't afford to buy washing machine. what kinda self centered human being is that? before he met you was he not the one washing his clothes by himself? God created women as helper and not as slaves. He doesn't even have respect for you at all. you should set a standard for yourself my dear. No man have the right to treat a girl like trash all in d name of boyfriend. if you want to continue with the relationship, just get ready to wash your life out cos he will use you and use you and use you till you turn red. no respect at all. abeg nobody should annoy me with stupid chronicle this afternoon jare. what nonsense!
ReplyDeleteShe will be using one hand to wash clothes, run to the kitchen to turn the meat she is frying, then the man will shout her name to attend to the crying baby so as not to disturb his favourite TV show. As she is doing that, he will start nagging that he wants to wear a particular dirty shirt the following day, so she should hasten up her washing. As she is attending to the baby with her second hand, she will be using one leg to scrub the clothes because OGA must not get angry. Oga will be using his hands to drink juice and chat with his side-chick while madame slave is working her life out.
Delete@ Prudent Tabitha looooool. Chai! Laugh wan kill me! You are very correct
DeleteUpon all she will still be working and contributing to house keeping. Tufiakwa!!!
DeleteHmmm na wah😁.
DeleteDo what works for you....it doesn't mean u must wash it, if u are a full time housewife u will wash clothes with machine or hand..if u are a career woman, get a washing machine if ur husband can't get one, compromise...everyman wont be like ur dad.
ReplyDeleteBB..its the forcing part that doesnt make sense...alot of ladies do that without being forced...
DeleteHelping ur spouse do their laundry should be voluntary not mandatory.
ReplyDeleteThat you still call this Colonizer your boyfriend is amazing? What kind of man says such arrant nonsense in 2018? I’m very certain he can’t even afford a washerman or a washer reason he wants to use you. There is nothing a woman can do that a man can’t do, an adult should be able to take care of themselves and domestic chores isn’t relegated to a woman or a wife. Better look for another boyfriend unless you’re ready to slave away.
ReplyDeleteThis is how you people accommodate crap in the early stages and cry blue murder after marriage. Your ability to bend over backwards does not determine if a man would treat you right or love you more, tHis is why many women look older than their men/husbands when the man is usually older in age because you all spend so much time using your youth to serve a man in the name of marriage. If I can wash my cloths then by all means my husband should wash his himself or how was he doing it before he married me? The problem is that most of you don’t think and once you hear mar... even before it’s completed you jump for joy.
Dopel, I give you F9 in this your advice. What makes a marriage great or bad is just little things like this. All men are not thesame. If you can't wash your hubbies cloth and your hubby can't wash his cloth plus hate to get maid at thesame time, it means your marriage is heading to hit the rock.
DeleteStop thinking like a single lady you are, think responsibly. However, doing laundry for boy friends is wrong.
@ Anonymous i Support Dopel 100% why would i wash my cloth and that of my kids as a married woman and my husband will insist i must wash his clothes.Sorry! women are not slave.He is not a baby, so he should wash his cloth himself.
DeleteDoppelganger is right. She may be single but she has spoken the truth. Except he is handicapped, both husband and wife should sort out the laundry. We have a place we put dirty clothes and either of us do the washing in the machine. As for my husbands office shirts or ironing, he does it himself, I have never done it. How can it be my responsibility? Mstchew.
DeleteI am just glad Doppelganger is back.
DeleteDoppel is back. Yay! I've missed your smart commenting..I always look forward to reading you and Chikito's comments.
DeleteI only do my hubby laundry when I feel like, he doesn't force it on me. He also does the laundry of me and his kids every now and then, there's no compulsion. It's all shade of wrong for your bf to feel this way.
ReplyDeleteThis is the typical mentality of a nigerian man.
ReplyDeletei think u gave him the right to turn u to a slave.
i don't think he will sound such way if u haven't been performing oda wifely duty like cooking whenever he wants,cleaning etc.
me wey no kuku like to wash,go come wash boyfrnd clothe.okay na
No not nigerian man pls, i am just hearing that a woman is supposed to wash for her husband, honestly m even suprised at the number of women here on this chronicle saying they wash for their husbands. Me i am a hausa gal, gaskiya we dont do that. As in kpata kpata u wont wash ur husbands clothes. He wud get a washerman that would be doing laundry in the house and pay mnthly.
DeleteThat your dad does his laundry and by extension, your brothers doesn't mean you won't wash your husband's clothes. The only place I had issue is the way h eput it but on a normal level, there's nothing there to do laundry.
ReplyDeleteI grew up with my dad doing most of our clothes. My mum's, his and ours the kids. He will even sweep and wash the dishes, helps my mum in the kitchen et al. But that didn't give me the mindset that men should do all these. I wash my husbands clothes cos I want to, I can't just stand seeing dirty stuff in the house whether mine all his, he also helps with house chores if he is around, I don't really keep tabs on him.
My own is, let him perform his duty as the man of the house, not dragging who will do laundry.
Those saying the guy should get washing machine, do u even know if there's an electric pole in his area talk more of electricity or if he uses "I pass my neighbour' generator?
Anyway, he is BF, u can decide not to wash his clothes, but mind u, if u get married, u have to put out more. Marriage is not a bed of roses, you win some, you lose some.
Well everybody is entitled to their opinion,i am also married and i dont wash my husband's cloths and he doesn't force me either.....
DeleteGod bless you Mhiz A.
DeleteWhen we advise people, it is always better to ensure we give a balanced advice to them, otherwise we may even mislead them.
If your dad did his laundry by himself, he might be due to many reasons, it does not mean you wont take care of your husband.
Both of you has responsiblities, the man might also wash your clothes eg after giving birth, when one is sick, etc.
Learn from good homes. If he fails to buy washing machine for you, can't you buy one to ease your stress? Some issues are not difficult as we often present them.
Mhiz A so how and who has been doing his laundry before she entered the picture?
DeleteProbably his ex of course...lol
DeleteDear 17:41, you can go back and read my comment again, the truth is, there's nothing there doing your spouce's laundry( be it man or woman), where I have issue is forcing it down her throat. I have been doing laundry for as long as I can remember, if I visit my mum,a week to my visit, she must have started piling her clothes cos she knows I'm going to do all ASAP. ( mind you, we have no washing machine).
See the truth is, every lady is supposed to be equipped with the basic tenets of running a home, cooking, washing, cleaning, etc. It's only when you see these simple tasks as chores that you start to label it as slavery.
Anyway, this is my belief, you are entitled to yours.
He should not force you to do his laundry. Won't he wash his clothes if he is single? Imagine him telling you that you will do all the domestic chores. That means he won't lift a finger to help in one or two chores. He should go ahead and marry a slave joor.
ReplyDeleteThe actual question is can you settle for a man with such a mentality???? He actually said you should buy it
ReplyDeletebabe answer the question first and you can move on from there
Do you have another boy friend for her if she can't settle with a man with that kind of mentality?
DeleteAnon 16:44 I pity you. So having a man in your life is your only achievement? No wonder men treat you like trash. Even if you are married I bet your husband disrespect you and you stand put all in the name of answering Mrs. So she must stay with him despite his domineering character and him treating her as a slave just so she can say she has a boyfriend. I pity you.
DeleteSee stupid question. So because she doesn't have another boyfriend for her ste should accept any mad man or tyrant that comes her way? She should settle for anything? Don't let me slap your head off.
DeletePoster, please run from this your end time boyfirend who does not have your interests at heart. Trust me, there are better men out there.
Deletestories like this make me think if I actually grew up in a different world, cos growing up my mum makes sure my dad's cloth was washed,although most times she gives it to people to wash.
ReplyDeleteSo I see it as the responsibility of the woman ,before I got married to my husband he had a washing machine.
When we got married I took over the responsibility of washing his cloths cos I grew up in such environment and I don't see anything wrong in it.
As time goes on he got a bigger one and I ensure his cloths are clean at all times.
I am not saying you should wash your boyfriend's cloths o but you have to wash your husbands clothes and you don't have to do it yourself, even if you don't have a washing machine there are women that wash and collect money.
Well said.na me dey do hubby's laundry not by force tho.he does the more heavier ones like curtains,bedsheets,duvet e.t.c.poster,remember you are just a gf.don't do his laundry yet,whether is by force or willingly.otherwise 'see you finish' gat u
DeletePoster recieve sense and stop asking silly questions. Boy friend sef
ReplyDeleteWow! The man sounds like an abuser. Very soon he will start hitting you. My God, and you are still in the relationship asking questions? We all know you will go ahead and wash them and even marry him and then come back here with more chronicles that you didn't know before you got married. The handwriting is clearly there now, if you like turn a bling eye to it.
ReplyDeleteThere is no harm in washing your biyfriend's clothes but that's if you want to. No man should command you to wash his clothes. That's a red flag and such man should be avoided.
My husband washes my clothes most times, but that doesn't give me the right to dump my clothes and tell him to wash them. I always join him if I see him washing them. He's a medical doctor doing very well for himself. He helps around the house all the time and no one forces him.
Please leave that abuser you call a boyfriend.
Your comment and advice is coming from a daft brain... Please shift one side let people with common sense give the op advice.
DeleteLet's hear your own smart advise! Idiot! You are either a man with his ego up in his own ass or an ugly fat woman with zero self esteem.
DeleteAnon 16:46 what is daft about her comment? Because her comment made sense. It's your own that looks like a daft person own.
DeleteXoRose
That guy of yours will be an authoritarian. Washing his clothes should be an option for you. Some men will not allow you wash their clothes when dating oh but when they have marriage license on you, your duty will pass BV Skywhite's ( sorry my brother). The ball is in your court. You know this man better than any of us. Mind you, he is still a boyfriend. Don't let him maneuver you into washing while he washes his main chick's clothes.
ReplyDeleteYour Bf has guts oh, 😳 cos while dating my hubby he will ask me to even bring my laundry self from school so he can send it to the dry cleaners, yels💁🏽, married now things have changed abit cos sometimes he begs me to do his laundry cos he hates it, btw there's a washing machine and a house keeper, he sends the rest to the dry cleaners as well. So don't start what you can't finish.
ReplyDeleteWhat is amazing me more is that you are even pondering about this nonsense. A boyfriend, not husband is ordering you like this. I'm sure there are other wifely duties he has been giving you and you have been accepting for him to have this kind of boldness. If he wants a wife he should pay your bride price and you should stop selling yourself cheap. Don't turn yourself to a slave to a boyfriend for it to be that you are 'wife material'. He should be the one to show that he is 'husband material'. If his hands are broken, then he should get a washing machine himself. When I was younger there was always a boundary to what I can do for a boyfriend and the only way that I will wash his clothes is if I am washing my own at his place, then I can add some of his to help out, and only to the extent that my energy on that day reach. Its not my job.
ReplyDeleteNo need to complicate things...... It's a simple issue, You should adjust to his mentality or reach a compromise .The fact is that this is just a bad side of him, you didn't tell us of his good sides, So is this bad side enough to cancel the other good things about him? Traditionally women fight these kind of issues by lobbying, using allure, your feminine power of influence not via CONFRONTATION.
ReplyDeleteNa wah oh. My parents have been married for 33yrs, and my mum has never washed my dads clothes. Even with the washing machine at home. I still pray to God to give me a man like my father. They still bathe together and sometimes leave us at home to go chill. You need to see them gossiping or even playing. You will just love being married. Well me I won't wash anybody's clothes oh. I no fit shout.
ReplyDeleteGbawakwa🏃🏾🏃🏾🏃🏾
ReplyDeleteHehehehehe!!!::o ga o. Advisers plenty for here o. Oya leave him and find another boyfriend and tell the next boyfriend you can't wash too before you begin any relationship. Men are not fools. Do you think if you tell any man at the beginning of your relationship that you can't wash, he will take you serious. Its better you find a way to let him know you prefer using the Washing machine not your hand. I wonder where most ladies shouting run run will be running to sef. Paste it on your forehead when you are searching for your next boyfriend that you can't wash cloth and see if you will not end up in your fathers house.
ReplyDeleteEither you are a useless man or you are a lady with serious self esteem. Poster don't mind this fool.😡
DeleteA man who truly loves you will still marry you whether you wash his clothes or not.
Delete17.45, useless man is putting it mildly, this one is worthless. From their comments you know them. Thank God I am married to a civil person. If he wants me to help him do something, he is polite about it .
DeleteThis just reminded me of my single days, when my boyfriend would try to force me to do stuff with so much authority..I would just tell him calmly that he doesn't have any authority to force me to do stuff and he hasn't even paid my bride price,if you see the look on his face... My dear better don't start what you can't finish.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, yes you can follow your boyfriend talk or follow pples advice but one thing that i will add to it is that, when you are single, you have the privilege to say NO and walk away but once you get married, some NO will be the beginning of the problem in the house, so do not start what you cannot end.
ReplyDeleteIf you are doing one thing for him now, once you marry it automatically doubles, when children sets in, it becomes complicated.
Note - discover yourself, know what is right from wrong, carry yourself with self esteem and never see yourself as slave to anybody.
we ladies are meant to be helpers not workers.
God help you in making the right decision.
She will even wash all her in- laws clothes as a house girl that she is.
DeletePoster.....you two should sit down and discuss like adults what works for you. For me everybody should wash their clothes if there is no washing machine.....or he takes his own cloth to dry cleaners
ReplyDeleteStella is right 100% don't start what you can not finish. My dad till he died big man in his own right washed his own clothes the ones he didn't take to the dry cleaners. On the days we washed together, he washed I rinsed. When he traveled I would pack his clothes wash and iron and his thank you would always be heartfelt. God continue to rest his soul. I hate to wash and wash only my clothes. If asked nicely I might consider washing and at my own time. If washing is a deal breaker toh Kiks is going to be single for a long time. Some people cause problems for themselves, they agree to things like this just to get the Mrs title and change it. Omo the guy will change it for you too.
ReplyDeleteOrdinary bf??? Na wa oh
ReplyDeleteThe moment I started doing the laundry, my wife resigned from that chore. The clothes will pile up so much that if I don't do it, it will never be done. Same applicable to sweeping the house. I hate dirty environment, so I will just do most of those things. No time to waste time. To lay bed self, she will stylishly beg you to do it. I dove my hat for some women. Tuale
ReplyDeletei think this washing of a thing depends on where the man married you from. Honestly, i am married for 5 yrs, in my house it is the responsibility of the man to make sure our laundry is done, he gets the washerman, he pays him, my own is just to gather the clothes. He knew that even in my parents’ house my laundry was being done for me, so asking me to wash my own clothes was even out of the equation tlkless of his own. Differnt strokes tho’. Poster just do what works for you, if where you come from, it is normal for the woman to do laundry, fine, and you feel u can do, just do it. Coz if u eventually marry him, and dis laundry issue causes problem even ur ppl won’t support you, but if u feel u cannot do it, then leave this man. The earlier the better.
ReplyDeleteGood comment
DeleteIf your bf said all that then I belt you that after marriage u will be his slave, no love or no consideration but all I can see is a mini god as your bf.
ReplyDeleteIn a marriage or family relationship with limited money and little amount of disposable income to afford domestic help, then all the adults in the house must chip in to clean, wash, cook, take care of the domestic work and house chores!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand how in this modern age that a man will sit down, relax and fold his hands and let only the woman to be standing and running around alone all the time??? and call it tradition or what? what type of culture is that??
This is why most women have aged more than their actual number of years, looking weary, too much physically exhausted and worn out internally. Tufiakwa!!!
For me if you make me cook anyhow, cleaning or depend on me wickedly like that, I'll poison you!
This is exactly why I don't entertain guests or visitors anyhow nowadays in my house. You will see all kind of family members, friends etc who come to dump their lazy ass and full of expectations on another person. Thinking that every woman is enjoying domestic work and happily doing house chores in their life.
I keep a clean house and always very tidy and I don't want any body to mess up my environment. I have groomed my adult children to respect this whenever they see me around and they know that offending or making me upset with stress or anything I hate to see, will have serious consequences for them too. I tell them to make sure that they wipe, clean, wash off any dirt or messy thing in the kitchen, bathroom, living room and their bedrooms once they sight it. And in that way the whole is always looking tidy and proper without mess & dirty things piling up all over the place.
I guess I have very low tolerance and bad allergy to stup1d life and a poor living.
you must be a tough no nonsense lady.
Deletena those days when women no dey work they will have to wash , cook and clean house not mow that woman work too. if not its not bad for a wife to wash her husbands clothes, you can take it to dry cleaners or get a washing machine.
ReplyDelete