***“You never marry? Wetin you dey wait for?” and “when will you call us to eat rice” are just plain rude questions and again none of your business. Do people marry themselves? Is it by force to marry? Do not offer dating advice or tell them they are picky or do not pray hard enough. Because you crawled into a compost pile and selected ‘Baba Ibeji’ does not mean you are now a ‘how to find a spouse’ expert… unless you want to propose do not probe people to know why they are single. If you want to eat rice, cook it.
***“You still dey do fine girl and fine boy, you no wan born.” This is one of the worst things you can say to a couple with no children. Chances are they are probably trying and nothing has happened yet. Why increase their anxiety? Do you have any plans to assist them financially when they do have kids? Do you know how many women you have sent to tears with this stupid question? A woman saw it fit to ask another woman without children ‘what she was waiting for to have children’. This woman had had it up to here with these veiled nosiness that she retorted “I am waiting for your husband to come and have sex with me so I can conceive” and then she stormed away. I think she deserves a medal for that clap back. It is not ok to argue with people on the number of children they should have. “Ah ah! Only two girls? You need to try for a boy.” #“God forbid don’t say that you want only one child.” Please MIND YOUR OWN CHILDREN.
***If you do know a couple with fertility issues, unless they have asked you for advice, please do not offer any. Especially if you did not have fertility issues at any point in your life. Do not suggest herbs, men of God or hospitals unless they come to you. Do not ask them “How far?” or starting lambasting them with prayers. Be a quiet praying distant support till you are drawn in.
*'**If anyone tells you they are trying to lose weight, be sensitive. Do not say things like “This one you are disturbing yourself will not work o.” or “You have not lost any weight today.” Or “It is like you are putting it back on.” Or “Don’t lose more than this o, you will not be fine again. If you cannot encourage by saying positive things then don’t say anything.
***Do not ever say “Why is this baby so small? Kai, he is small for his age o. Is he eating? Give him Ogi and fertiliser…” to a mother. I tell you that she knows this already. Most likely, you will send her to the hospital extremely worried. The parents may be battling a condition with the child they do not want to disclose. They may even be on top of the situation with medication and other things. Do not push them over the edge. And seriously folks, are we all supposed to be the same size? Unsolicited parenting advice and criticism from strangers is annoying. “Why is she still wearing pampers and using a pacifier?” “Why are you still backing this old man?” “Why are you using oyinbo carrier and not putting her on the back the African way?” Please stop this!
'****Never EVER say “Your husband is finer than you.” So what if he is? Of what use is that statement? So what do you want her to do? Have plastic surgery? Divorce him and stay alone with her ugliness? Hand him over to you that deserves a handsome husband?
***Do not walk up to anyone you have profiled and begin to sell herbal weight loss concoctions to her/him. This has happened to me several times. Someone randomly approached me to sell tummy blasting herbs to me. I told him I was able to afford to eat chicken everyday. And I love showing my ability to eat.
***Dear Nigerians, support the bereaved with mostly your silence. There is no need for so many words. Do not accusingly say “I called you and you did not pick up” to a bereaved person. The person might have been in a fetal position in the corner of his room crying. Do not say “Hard Luck”, what is that even supposed to mean. Do not try to rationalize it or explain death. You are as bewildered as the bereaved; don’t assume some false superior knowledge.
***If you suspect that a person has left his/her marriage, resist every temptation to ask. If you do not know for sure, you are definitely not part of their inner circle. Pacify your inner gossip with reading online or something. And if you do know that they are divorced or separated, do not begin to blame anyone.
***Why on earth would anyone look at a child and begin to declare “He does not look like his Papa at all!!” Kpele Mr DNA! We can hear the accusations of infidelity as loudly as you intended us to hear. Of course, in your village, children are only allowed to look like their fathers.
***It is not ok to visit a couple in THEIR home and begin to suggest how they should live. “Ah Ah, na daddy dey wash plates? Biko don’t turn my brother to woman o.” “Your wife goes to a different church? Hmm it is not done like that o.” “Why are you allowing them to drink coke? It is not good.” If you have ever said anything like this, you are possessed with the ‘scatter home’ demon. See a pastor.
***Have you ever seen an overwhelmed mother of toddlers trying her best to manage her children in public and people still feel the need to say “Madam, control your children!”. How callous are you? If all you need to keep your kids well behaved is a push on the button of the remote control you carry, then please go ahead and berate her for forgetting hers at home.
***You are not married or have any children, what are you doing with money?” best answer I can come up with " i'm trying to stash it up to the ceiling and set it ablaze".
I could go on all day but the bottom line is, blurting out the first thing that floats in your brain is what children do. Use a filter. And if you do not have one, then keep quiet.
#Copied
hahahahaha it is just really painful words that people had to bear. Will you be beating people who says those words or you will fight and keep malice?
ReplyDeleteIf people tell you these words just tell them God's time is the best in every situation.
This ya pikin kpelege? You want my pikin to be akpu abi?
It is still painful, so just mind the words you say to people in their critical time
That is naija for you we know how to ask yeye question
ReplyDeleteThat is naija for you we know how to ask yeye question
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteIn less than 6month after marriage, one bros saw me in my husband village and said "by now I expect to see u with big belle,hope u are not taking drugs to prevent it or abort it... God, I can never forget that statement
Its well dear 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
DeleteEayaaa
DeleteOr telling someone that is grieving from the death of his father to get over it, stop taking panadol for a dead person....Pathetic!
ReplyDeleteThe first n second so rampant... I guess a rude answer will shut them up...u never born?
ReplyDeleteThe third one, is not really rampant, if u were petite as a kid, chances are your kid would be petite growing up....ur child is a replica of u,not all but majority.
Correct one Stella.
ReplyDeleteUsually Very tenable in Nigeria ! People can be so rude and intrusive and the sad thing is that they think it’s normal.
ReplyDeleteThose who have worked outside the country know well enough not to say this sort of things in public.
thank you very much. this is all so so true.
ReplyDeleteI waited for 7 years after marriage before my first baby arrived. Before this, i was appalled at how insensitive and rude Nigerians can be on this issue. People you didn't ask and are not really close to would just blurt out nonsense like : ''why not go and adopt?'; ''have you tried IVF?. As if IVF is a magic wand. Chances of IVF conception are even 60/40. Its not guaranteed to work.
And they wee coming at me not knowing what i was going through: the series of painful miscarriages, the private tears, the dashed hopes...it was horrible! Meanwhile my husband and i were really trying hard and had even tried some of their suggestions before they gave their unsolicited advice, and gone through the heartache of not seeing results at the time. Children come from God after all and HE has a unique calendar for every life. In fact i stated avoiding some people because i didn't want to hear their insensitive, wicked comments.
If a woman doesn't lament to you about fertility issues, please keep you advice far away and just pray for her if you really care. People an do busybody for Naija.
If you like ask me why I never born,na eye I go use beat you
ReplyDeleteSome people don't know when to shut up.
Some people will never mind their business
ReplyDeleteNa wah!!!
ReplyDeletePeople can so do this .
ReplyDeleteVery annoying
A guy once told me. "That is why you aren't married".
ReplyDeleteMind you this guy is 5 years older than me and is also single.
I said are you not single yourself. He said "but I am a MAN".
Too much sense, that's how one called me on the phone to tell me that a lady that we both got married the same time has put to birth, I simply told her age isn't on her side she should go and marry. Nonsense! 3 years of marriage ,1 ectopic pregnancy, 2 pregnancies which stopped developing. Thank God for God, ve grown a thick skin
ReplyDeleteEeya. Ectopic pregnancy pain eh..hmmm. Your set time is here already. God has done it.Amen
DeleteI love your answer.. Your babies are here darling
DeleteNigerians can so pokenose in other people's lifes and give unsolicited advices like they know it all.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I just ignore and go mute when asked some of these silly questions/comments before I lash out angrily and then one is termed as been rude to people
LEP😜
Pls o is it harsh to ask an unmarried man at 40 why he is unmarried at that age. If he shows interest to want to settle down and is probably looking your way from his talks with you..
ReplyDeleteMen blind? See as you fine and you still dey single.. SMH nothing wey person no go hear
ReplyDeleteNigerians don't have filter.
ReplyDeleteEvery thing that crawls through their brain the pour out like burning palm oil. Sometimes I wonder how old men and women and be so dense and we see them daily on this blog.
I always giggle when I remember that the person that you used to mock me that I hadn't married is the person who's wife ran away to Benin after she got tired of the plenty beating. Ikwawawawawawawawa.
I only noticed that he had stopped his mocking questions. I didn't know why until someone mentioned it during a phone call. Ikwawawawawawawawakwawawawawa I love washing people drag their tounge through their vomit.
*watching
Delete*can
*they
*whose
Not autocorrect, was rushing.
This happened 2 montgs ago in a supermarket, i went in to get stuff and while waiting to pay the cashier and the man beside me was talking about tge particular carton of juice to get for his son. I ignored them but they tried getting me to talk i still ignored them. The cashier now directly asked me if a particular juice is okay for kids, i said i didn't know, he now asked how many kids do i have, i said none. The next thing he said was "wetin you dey wait for?". Ahhh, i lost it there, i was like what kind of silly question is that,he should never ask anyone that question in his life. Inshort ehh i schooled hime that day, the man beside and him were just apologising. I was pissed so what if i am looking for a child and i haven't gotten you will ask me that? In short, the next time i went which was this month, the cashier instantly recognised me and still apologised. I told him like i told him that day, that it is not affecting me directly, it is just to teach him not to ask such questions. I mean i am not planning on getting married(he also asked if i am married) or have kids anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteNaturally, i am a quiet lady(introvert) in my early 20s, so i don't join issues with people and this cashier should be in his mid to late 30s.
Anyway,i have heard many of such issues and i eitger school them(when it directed at me) or simply stop communicating with them.
Best read this week!!!
ReplyDelete1)What is keeping you from getting married? Is it that the clipper is not sharp or the barber doesn't know how to barb.
2)When are we coming to eat rice.
3)Where you get all these yellow children from?🙄
4)Mama Ibeji you have not given birth yet? Ika na akpuhari?😳
5)Some will even go as far as suggesting your kid’s name is not okay for them.🙆🏾♂️
6)Madam why are you suffering this girl, why not relax her hair.
7)You are pregnant again?😱
These and many more are the common questions you will be asked by both friends and strangers if you are Nigerian. Its frustrating!!!
And I don’t even want to know what is happening in your life until you come to me. Dunno how people do this😩😩😩😩
Nigerians are the most intrusive people I know.
Some have even asked. Why is there no man as beautiful as you are. So cobwebb just go full there like that.
DeleteAnd they will be grinning like roasted animals on a stick expecting you to see the humour in their abject stupidity.
DeleteI was about to send this to be posted o. Stop asking a married woman how many kids she has, is it your business, what if she is trying to concieve. That is how they ask for contribution in my office and i told them this is what i can afford, the next thing they say is, you are just starting life. You dont have kids yets. Very painful. Asking is your husband around, what are you both doing, everyone turning to adviser like they are the givers of children.
ReplyDeleteEvery point was on point except the "control your children" own. Yes o. It is your duty to control your children in public abi who you wan leave the work for na? Sunday Mass wey no dey reach two hours, na so some people go carry three Elegañza food warmers and two cartoñs of biscuits and ribena enter church dey disturb Homily. They can stand up to use the loo ten times and keep disturbing every one on their row. Children go dey run up and down the aisle and altar sef dey make noise. Carry them go Children department na! For where? Dem go fight church wardens on top. Yeah. Such people should be told to control their kids or keep them at home where they won't constitute any nuisance to the general public. Some mumu ones go even say "you know male children are hard to control" when dem no even know say na girl you dey pray for now as the Iya boys that you are.
ReplyDeleteHaha! U sabi as e be.
DeleteVery annoying to say because one doesnt have kids, so one expenses is less. Is it your money. Rubbish people. God will hear our prayers amd answer us GTC
ReplyDeleteThey will be saying dont your husband give you money, what are you using money for. Asking how old are you, go and born, the height was one woman asking me hope my husband doesnt have a child outside because am believing God for a child. Very painful statement
ReplyDeleteTough skin is what one needs especially if one idiot decides to showcase their limited reasoning...tough skin and like that anon that always hypes Teejay "give it to them hot 🔥hot🔥🔥" and next time they will apply a filter to their brains and lips before speaking.
ReplyDeleteI tell you, you have to give them hot.
DeletePeople like that enjoy slyly humiliating others, they know what they are doing, idiots. If you keep quiet and do mweun mweun, they repeat their stupidity, even louder next time in an even larger group of people, all in an attempt to mock others. As the devil's shoe shiner that they are.
Give it to them HOT one time, so that they won't dare try that rubbish with you. The words will dry in their throat like izal sharp. Mtshewww ozuos
How about people who feel they must gift you with an opinion when they see you with a baby? It's really sickening.
ReplyDeleteAbout asking what an unmarried or someone waiting to conceive what they are doing with money, my mil once made an unkind statement about someone who didn't have a child. The man made a donation of a million to a community project and she was like "he should have given more, he doesn't have a child, what is he using money for" very wicked comment
You didn't add when are You going to have a boy?as if these girls i have are not children,some people can be annoying
ReplyDeleteThe one about controlling your kids in public is A Must!! Why will you allow your kids constitute nusiance in public?? Shebi if them destroy something, you will start pleading. Please most mothers nowadays are too Lazy!! CONTROL YOUR KIDS IN PUBLIC!! IF THEY ARE uncontrollable please limit where you take them too!!
ReplyDeleteYou ask me anyhow,i answer you anyhow.
ReplyDeleteOne Lady one my street who has bern married for 8 years without a child kept disturbing me about getting married. She went further to state that she has a powerful pastor who could give me a horseband, he was so powerful that no1 has attended with a testimony.
I told her that after he has given a child via his prayers,after her child dedication, I will Join her to her church.
She cried ehhh...that God gives children,,i told her GOD GIVE HUSBAND.
THAT WAS THE END OF STUPID QUESTIONS/SUGGESTIONS FROM "AUNTY "
Gbam!
DeleteClass dismissed.
The poster forgot to add what Yoruba's in particular say to MoO(mother of one)."you gave back to one and close your bum"."you don't know a mother of one is as good as barren".Without knowing whether the poor woman is battling secondary infertility. I once retorted to one of my in-laws when she said that to me. I told her it is only a woman that her children outlives that is a mother. She called in-law meeting on my head that one Hausa woman(I am from the north central) is planning to kill her children. Radarada oshi
ReplyDeleteI have 2 boys na so one woman asked me"what are u pple waiting for,make sure u plan am get girl"sharpely,ireplied I dey wait for u to come shine torch for me and hubby when we dey do our thing.mtchewwwwwww
ReplyDeleteI have asked such a question before. Not out of any Ill intention, I was actually interested. She is a mid level staff in the bank. Had been in the bank for 8 yrs at that time, not married, living at home, no car. We were ex school mates and still socialized . She didn't quite like the question but answered. However, since then our relationship hasn't quite been the same.
ReplyDeleteSee where your badly brought up snout took you to?
DeleteShe's nice; you even still have a 'relationship'.
Me,I would have avoided you like the plague that you are.
You forgot to add. How was your night?
ReplyDeleteThat's nigerians lame attempt at being polite and 'caring'. Lame and intrusive as fuck.
DeleteThat's nigerians lame attempt at being polite and 'caring'. Lame and intrusive as fuck.
Delete