Please, carefully look at the list below and identify where you may want to make amends on yourself or on the young ones you are bringing up.
Children, if not properly groomed may never get to the top in life, even if both parents are at the top of their careers.
Manners take you to where your education can’t irrespective of your status, wealth or your reach or influence:
1) Going to your child’s school indecently dressed. (Think again).
2) Speaking rashly to your child’s teacher.
3) Cursing, using foul language or swearing words in front of your children.
4) Using makeup on children.
5) Dressing your little children up indecently (they loose their sense of Princesshood).
6) Putting earrings on your son’s ears.
7) Your child hold the cup or glassware by the brim and you don’t correct.
Your children don’t greet and you just feel they will come around one day because they have a mood swing. (You will be blamed for it).
9) Your children eat with their mouth opened and you feel they will grow up some day.
10) Your children bringing home something you did not buy for them and you say nothing. (that is the beginning of stealing).
11) The Children talk back at you and you conclude it’s okay since you are a 21st century Mummy. (You will hate yourself if they do that outside and they are disciplined).
12) The Children interrupt when you are speaking with another aduIt and you think they are bold and clever. (Its really bad manners).
13) The Children exercising authority over the Nanny and domestic staff and you let them be. (that is bad parenting).
14) The Children saying things like “my driver is on his way…” I do not advocate that children should call your domestic staff Aunty or Brother, calling them by Name when they are not young people is not proper either. The use of Miss, Mr or Mrs will look good on them.
15) Your children don’t say a ‘thank you’ when they have been helped or served something and you are cool with that. (Bad parenting).
16) When your Children cannot stand children who are less privileged.
18) When the Children pick their noses with their hands.
19) When the Children don’t wash their hands after visiting the washroom or after returning from school or outside visits.
20) When your Children take something from the fridge without seeking permission. (Bad parenting).
21) When your Children don’t knock on closed doors and wait for a response before opening the door.
22) When your Children don’t collect from your hands items you brought in as you walk into your home.
23) When your Children request for a bribe to carry out their home chores or extra task. (That is disgraceful).
24) When your Children act like their Grandparents irritate them. (It’s a Transferable Curse).
25) When your Children have not learnt to get up from the Chair for the Elderly or Visitors to sit.
26) When your Child tells lot of Lies. (You will both cry in the future).
27) When your Children ask “who is that?” at a knock on your door instead of “please, may I know who is there.”
28) When your Child is always seated by your Visitors when being served Drinks or Food.
29) When your Children still point their fingers at other people, when talking to or speaking about them.
30) When your Children play and jump around when Prayers are going on. (These can apply to Children from Ages 4 and Above).
Don’t be a 21st Century Parents who can’t correct their Children. Train your children in the way of the Lord so that when they grow up they will not depart from such godly training or upbringing.
It is better to allow your children cry at an early age when you correct them. If not you might both cry at night when they bring disgrace to the family with bad and terrible behaviour.
from opinion.ng
Hmmmmmm.... okay
ReplyDeleteHow about the irresponsible parents bleaching the skin of their little kids. I SMH for them. Rogue parents.
DeleteOP I think some of these points are your opinions and they don't necessary reflect bad parenting. E. G. Number 20
DeleteThere's nothing like stealing in my house because right from childhood my parents (dad especially) always drummed "whatever belongs to me belongs to you" into our ears. If we took something and they asked, we didn't have to lie because there was no fear of punishment. If we asked we were e always given, we never had to defraud our parents like most children do especially in the universities. If they cannot give us, they give a logical explanation why they can't. I have parents who still use please, thank you and sorry with me. My dad does all these even though he can easily pass for my grand father. That to me is true respect. You respect everyone irrespective of the age, gender, orientation, etc.
I feel our society encourages low self esteem in adults with teachings like this. My parents encouraged me to be outspoken but world people will not let me be. Expressing myself automatically meant I was being disrespectful. People still carry this mentality into their marriages. Once you have an opinion, it means you're rude. Where is the room for individuality? I grew up and started having issues at interviews because I was too nervous to express myself to older people. I couldn't sell myself so as not to appear proud. Thank God all that has passed now.
All I'm saying is, some of the points listed up there are not necessarily bad but they could be counter-productive. A child shouldn't have to seek permission for everything in his home. It might encourage him to not be totally honest. My siblings and I turned out right.
The way your parents brought you up is superb. It is not everything and anything that comes to your mind you voice out. You can can do that when you are with your parents and also teach your kids same.
DeleteI didn't agree with number 20
ReplyDeleteY? IS THAT NOT HOW THEY LEARN TO STEAL? TAKING THINGS WITHOUT APPROVAL IS WRONG FOR KIDS, U HAVE TO AGREE
Delete@beebumble it's not stealing it's making them feel comfortable in their parents house. I'm referring to snacks here... by all means, my kids can go to the kitchen/fridge to get snacks at the right time, without feeling uncomfortable. They are in their parents home for crying out loud, where else will they feel most comfortable? Are they prisoners?
DeleteWhat does wearing earing have to do with well raised? What are they supposed to pick their nose with? Their butt?
DeleteNumber 20 is born out of poverty.
My nieces take things at home but cannot go to someone's house and take what wasn't given to them.
Even when it's given they reject cos they have at home.
Even at home, it's general things they take. If I put a drink in d fridge , nobody touches it cos it's mine. Kids should be allowed to use their brain.
When you tell them not to take something, what is d reason u give?
Or is it just because you said so? - autocrat
Anno go with uunless the stuff in the fridge is not for the child
DeleteMy children should b free to eat in their parents house abeg
How then do you curb their excesses if they can pop into the fridge any time?my 4year old daughter prefers to eat 20biscuits to 3spoons of rice,imagine if I allow total access to snacks?
DeleteI get that the snacks are for them but I feel they should still ask first, anh my mum would reset your brain with one slap, children from the 19’s had strict parents but kids these days... another story
DeleteAunty (abi uncle) said, "you have to agree!" Hahahahaha! Nigerians wee not finish pelzin!
DeleteKia that mean my niece and nephews are well trained. None are they guilty of even with all the money the father has. God thank you for giving my sis such wisdom to raise her kid in a loving and rules keeping manner. And pls give me more wisdom to raise my kids when that time comes.
ReplyDeleteThe only one am guilty of is no 27...my children say ,who is that but I will work on that.
ReplyDeleteThis our generation o. So they have to be listing these things for us? Like who doesn't know these things?
ReplyDeleteNice one.
ReplyDeleteWhen your children want to eat out of your food without your permission.
(it lead to a lot of fights in the big brother house)
When your children wants to eat exactly what you served to your visitors even when they are not hungry.
When your children marches or bypass an item without going to keep them in their proper position. Applies to age 3-4 above (Potential bad home keeping )😀
When your kids talks back at their mum, and elders. Not cool
The boys especially could grow to be violent.
Hmmmmmm and a whole lot of others.
Lord Jesus! 70% of these are true, but the remaining 30% just crazy!! If you live abroad, protect your children from Judgemental, "I know it all" Nigerians. Well if you are in Nigeria, you have no choice! I guess everything up there guarantees a well brought up child in a Nigerian environment. Lord Help us!!
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteThat number1 is not it at all,you need to see the way some of the white parents dress to school for school runs in summer,almost naked,i can't blame them,the weather is hot,and their dressing doesn't affect their children,nobody even look at them twice,its the norm in summer.so i don't agree with number1.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous Bug
Lol. Well is it termed indecent over there?
DeleteIt is indecency. I celebrity was called out last year in the part of the world I live. She dressed indecently to pick her child from school.her boobs were popping out, guess what someone took shot of her the next day it was a cause of debate and shaming in the media.
Deletewritten by a Nigerian no doubt. All the shaving of children's hair and not wearing boys earrings yet look at where we are in Nigeria. How does a mum wearing short dresses translate to upbringing? The writer didnt even mention a reading culture which is best passed down by parents who read. Are we producing better behaved or more intelligent children than the Americans we love to judge so much? Is our cultural wear not short wrapper? What we call well behaved children are timid children who let people walk over them and end up with spouses they are too timid to set boundaries with, adults that allow people mistreat them out of fear, then they start shouting 'let God be the judge'. If you wrap your 8 year old in blankets it won't stop your paedophile pastor or whoever from wanting to take advantage of him or her. Jobs and promotions in America and Europe are gotten by networking. That's the difference between the rich and the poor. Those are the things they teach children in private schools abroad. DJ Cuppy can walk up to Dangote and be friendly with him, but your child should run away when Uncle Emeka comes to eat at home. It being culture doesn't make it necessary. People make culture and culture is made for people. These things dont fall from the sky and they are not edicts from God. Tomorrow if they are both gunning for a job, who will know better how to communicate with an old man?
ReplyDeleteWe won't focus on improving children's critical thinking skills and confidence or making sure children can confide in their parents when being abused, it's wearing jeans shorts and earrings that will make them bad. When you look at a child funny for her dressing, it's not the child that has the issue, it's the adult sexualising the children that is the problem. We need to stop sexualising young children. Whether or not your child calls the driver God, if the parents mistreat the nannies or drivers the children will grow up with problems. I expect to be insulted for this, but let's be honest with ourselves for once. No matter what lies we tell ourselves, ban cartoons or do whatever ridiculous thing that we think translates to being strict, if we don't fix the educational and social system, children will not attain full potential in school and these issues we ignore will continue to abound. If you do all these and your child grows up in an unhealthy household where one parent lords it over the other, where they can't question the way things are, watch adults fight on the road and disobey traffic lights, watch the parents cover up evil or talk bad about people they look down on they won't grow.
Well said
DeleteTrue talk.
DeleteSo I noticed a friends sister's child always listing on adult conversion and always looking into adults phone,to d extent he knows password from pepping phones always, I cautioned my friend and she went ' GO BORN YOUR OWN'. Nna mhen hahahha hahahha hahahha, I laughed so hard ehen.
DeleteThank you. What has a boy wearing earring got to do with proper bringing. This is clearly a cultural matter. No mention of habits that help make the world a better place. Helping one another, n queuing or putting others in consideration. So a child cannot interrupt you while you re speaking with an adult even if she has a need to...as Idi Amin you are.Go on and raise timid children that cant be comfortable and close enough to confide in about personal issues and subsequently grow up not knowing the difference between abuse and discipline. Alot of people dying in abusive relationship because of this so-called proper upbringing our parents generation imposed on them.
DeleteMy child would ask "who is it/there?" Because this is their parent's house and they have the right to enquire who you are before they let you in for security reasons. If you decide they lack proper upbringing for not using your own proper words feel free to keep standing at the door.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete@anon 16:06 May God bless you mightily for this. I've never come across judgemental bigots like nigerians. Always focused on irrelevance, what about encouraging reading culture, how about building confidence, how about having a strong personality, how about teaching kids integrity, why will my kids not be able to go their fridge to get what they want? What about building a relationship with God? Instead, as usual, we focus on irrelevance. Raising backward lazy children that cannot think and analyse and hold down intelligent conversations. The result is the backwardness we have today.
Delete16:06 don't waste your spittle on Nigerians. Always feeling they know it all when they are as dense as stale bread. Dull, crass, judgemental bigots.
DeleteSpot on
DeleteThe 'backward, lazy, timid kids who can't hold down intelligent conversations' still beat ur foreign 'wizkids' in international competitions. Na mental slavery dey worry all of una.
DeleteThis your write up is long o! I was thinking it was uncle Rueben Abati but I read it all and and kudos to your analysis.
DeleteAbeg go and sleep madam. There's nothing wrong with the above article. If you have something different to say say it and shove your slavery mentality up your ass
DeleteNothing beats good manners. Raising bunch of mannerless kids is very distasteful
Having manners doesn't stop boldness , smartness and achievements
keep training them like your presumption of white man behavior till they wake up one day and SLAP d hell outta your face, you will understand...
mtschewwww
Number 6 is Toyin lawani...
ReplyDeleteTrain your child..:
ReplyDeleteI know most of these, but lemme bookmark
ReplyDeleteWe need to encourage proper upbringing of our kids
Even in the old testatment ,men wore ear rings....pls don't impose your myopic ideas borne out of your personal upbringing on us. There is no proof your ways are correct.
ReplyDeleteWhoever drafted this deserve some accolades..🙌🙌👍👍👏👏
ReplyDeleteWell spoken. Parents take note.
ReplyDeleteLol. That means all the children in some countries won't make it in this life. Some of these things are our cultural beliefs, not necessarily universally accepted rules and regulations. Before you judge a child's upbringing, check the culture under which he or she was raised.
ReplyDeleteE.g There are places you would go to and be called by your name by a younger person. They are not being rude but don't just understand why they should address you as 'Aunty'. Some won't even greet as we do, they just smile at you, give eye contact and pass. Will you now be vexing? Or when they dont stand up for you to seat down because they think that children should be looked after by able-bodied adults and not the other way round.
Cultures differ, is all I'm saying
Thank you.
DeleteSame points as some of those stated above. Much more intelligently put.
DeleteThanks Chikito was that not how I was busy answering yes Ma and yes sir when I newly travelled abroad whereas every other person was referring to these people with their names. Me I am a Pro now o. I refer to you with your name if you like be Methuselah, if you were named Robin, I call you Robin. If I want to show respect I can add Mr. Or Mrs to the name. My chidren refer to their elders with a Mr., Mrs. Or Miss to their names.
DeleteTrue, about 20% of what's listed up there is largely borne of culture but 80% applies universally, as far as decent upbringing goes. There's nowhere on this planet ppl don't appreciate courtesy, cleanliness and order. Society runs on those and a lot of the stuff mentioned up there are geared to guide a child accordingly.
DeleteWhen will Africans especially Nigerians get used to the fact that the world is very diverse? Culturally, religiously, racially etc. I call bullshit to that list, whoever came up with this list is a hypocrite and very delusional. I'm glad he or she kept saying "child" and "children."
ReplyDeleteLol that food part is a problem. Sitting by the side of an elder hahahahaha most are quilty of that
ReplyDeleteI hate makeup on children. I was at a place and a father was with his group of friends some very much older than the father. His child came and delivered a message from the mum and turned to leave and he called the child back. I thought he was going to tell her to greet his friends but no. He just asked her something and she left. I was shocked.
ReplyDeleteNigerians and uncle, Aunty, Ma, Sir.
ReplyDeleteI hate being called by any title. Call me by my name. Aunty wasn't added to my name at birth. We prefer to be called by titles as sign of respect than being respected in action. In civilised societies,You can be called by name and it's acceptable. Try it with a Nigerian and especially those from the part where they eat and drink respect to survive. I no fit shout!We are still backward in our thinking and lack of exposure is truly a disease.
I have noticed most Nigerian kids are not very bold and articulate when they're outside of their homes or surroundings. This list here caused that for those set of kids, Nigerian parents inculcate fear into their kids out of respectful upbringing. Most Nigerian kids find it hard to express themselves especially in the western world. They can't answer a question in class, they can't ask for directions from a stranger, they can't state their opinions all out of fear. Hope while you guys follow this ridiculous list, don't forget to teach them how to adapt outside their comfort zones. Don't bring them up in a way they'll be timid and can't even stand for themselves. At my job this Nigerian woman bows and genuflect when she's talking to the manager. In her mind it's respect but nobody cares about those stuffs keep your culture at home and be professional please.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve some accolades mheen
Delete👌👍👊
DeleteIts all this listed in that article that has brought this scourge of rape and molestation in the land.
ReplyDeleteChildren must be heard and not seen.
Calling cook, nanny, gardener etc. "Uncle, aunty,ma and sir, " that has brought out this timid youth of today.
When a younger children have to call the older ones, aunty and uncle.
I raised my children to be very independent and outspoken. Today they are holding their own in their fields.
Parents must teach children to be respectful, but not timid.
1/2lessons learnt,I don't see the reason for criticizing the post,pick what you will and leave what u won't!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know anything about parenting. I'm also very cautious in how I relate with my friends kids. I don't want anybody to tell me to go and born my own when I'm already struggling to have one. Let everybody care for their kids and train them the best way. If I'm asked to baby sit, I make the parents give me a list of dos and donts. I no get power to make enemies.
ReplyDeleteI agree to 85% with the writer's opinion whoever 15% are just too regid to me like not taking something from fridge without your permission.
ReplyDeleteThe post should be titled "how to raise timid, zero confidence, lack of trust and fearful kids" dear writer of this ridiculous list, I bet your kids can't wait to get the hell away from you if you have any. How about teaching self control, self confidence, contentment, hard/smart work, etc... so the day you are out of the house, the kids will wait till you get back before they eat in their parents house? Does stealing not start from here? You are saying that they cannot think for themselves, they must wait for you to ask your permission to eat? Wow...
ReplyDeleteMy eight yr old went in the kitchen to fry eggs with tomato pepper onion etc... she had made eba the other day, sometimes she makes tea for me. She's got 2 younger ones... I've developed her interest in cooking and being responsible even without trying, because she's comfortable enuf to think outside the box in her parents house. By the way, I was not there when she made such courageous attempt at cooking at 8yrs of age. She did it all by herself. She washes the toilet and baths her baby sister, she also helps me to put their dirty clothes in the machine, and she's among the top 3 in class. She wears bum shorts a lot and I gladly braid her hair very long but this has not stopped her from being such an angel. It's not by all the rubbish you listed up there.
ReplyDeleteEveryone on their own, I however agree some of the things above and not all.I teach my toddler to say thank you when she receives gifts or help and she has started doing so though she might not understand why she has to do that. About not talking back to elder. Wawu m my kids should have their opinion and should not be afraid to speak out no matter who is involved. I will teach them not to be rude yes, but they can talk to anyone if they don't agree with whatever the adult is saying or doing. They shouldn't be afraid to air their opinion. They are not going to accept bullying from adult because they shouldn't talk back. Who told you adults always do the right things and should be questioned? That is why adults in our culture do the impritable things and gets away with it. Don't talk back and when you do, they pull up the age card. I have broken that cycle in my life and it will not be factor at all for my kids as long as they were not rude.
ReplyDeleteWhy not teach kids how to be pro active, how to be assertive, how to speak up and defend themselves. Allowing your kids talk is actually building them up, when you keep shutting them up they can't talk in public, why install fear in them? Allow kids speak their minds, that way you as a parent can know what's in their mind. It helps them with self confidence.
ReplyDeleteNigerians and ways of doing things. I beg 18, 20 and 27. Even I use my hands to pick my nose and wash it after. As for taking snacks from the fridge , they do it at snack time. They know what to take. As for who is that? I beg lef matter joo.
ReplyDelete